II.
IF I could have my choice I wouldn’t be
The main guy of a kingdom—nix fer me.
I’d only wish that I could be as great
As one of these gay boys from up the State
Imagines that we think he is when he
Tilts back his hat and lights his cigarette
And does the pouter-pigeon act; I’d let
Them have their thrones if I could be as grand
As these boys think they are when they “run down”
On business trips and let their chests expand
And act as though they’d come to buy the town.
The minute one of them gets in he shies
Around the telegraph girl, makin’ eyes
And wantin’ to know what it costs to send
Ten words to Saugatuck or Brady’s Bend,
Or dictates to the shorthand girl and tries
To make her think he’s Mike from Up-the-Crick—
It’s easy work to spot these Johnnies quick:
They try to mash the chambermaids up-stairs,
And buzz the news-stand lady, and I s’pose
They think that we all think they’re millionaires—
Hello! There that sweet little actress goes.