CHAPTER IX.
I am going to make my will; but no, it is useless. I am condemned to pay the costs of the trial, and all that I possess will hardly be sufficient to meet the expenses.
The guillotine is an expensive luxury.
I have a mother, a wife, and a child.
A little girl three years of age, gentle, rosy, and delicate, with large black eyes and long chestnut hair.
She was just two years and a month old when I last saw her.
Thus, after my death there will be three women without son, husband, or father; three orphans of different kinds, three widows made by the hand of the law.
I allow that I am justly punished; but what have these innocent creatures done? No; these are dishonoured and ruined for no fault of their own: and this is justice!
It is not the thought of my poor old mother that disquiets me; she is sixty-four; the blow will kill her at once, or even if she lingers on for a little while, as long as she has a little fire to warm her feet at she will not complain.
Nor am I uneasy regarding my wife; she is an invalid, and her mind is not very strong; she will die too.
Unless, indeed, she goes mad. They say that mad people live a long while; but if her intellect goes she will not suffer: she will sleep, she is as good as dead.
But my daughter, my child, my poor little Marie, who laughs and plays, who even now, perhaps, is singing and thinking of nothing—that is what cuts me to the heart.