No one spoke. At last these various people who loved the man well saw more or less clearly that he was no longer their James Penhallow of other days. He went on at once with raised voice: "Last sale—Leila Grey—likely young woman—warranted sound—single or double harness. Fetch her up." His confusion of mind was painfuly apparent. "Who'll bid?" A suppressed titter rose from the younger people.
"She is withdrawn, uncle," said John Penhallow distinctly.
"Ah! who did you say—Like Polly, owner withdraws her—Can't you speak out?"
"I said, withdrawn, sir," John repeated. As he spoke he saw the Colonel stagger backwards and sink into his chair; his face became white and twitched; his head fell to one side; he breathed stertorously, flushed slightly, and was instantly as one asleep.
Ann Penhallow and the two doctors were at his side. Rivers called out,
"Leave the room, all of you, please. Open the windows, Grace!"
"Is he dead?" asked Ann of McGregor.
"No, no—it is a slight fit—there is no danger."
A moment later Penhallow opened his eyes, sat up, and said, "Where am I?
What's all this about?"
John said, "A bit faint, uncle. The carriage is waiting." He staggered to his feet, and seizing Rivers's arm followed Ann and John in silence. With Rivers they were driven back to Grey Pine. Of all Ann Penhallow's schemes to amuse or interest her husband this had been the most utter failure.
Every one had gone from the hall when John missing Leila returned to the outer room to put on his cloak. The boy-cap Leila liked to wear in bad weather, her rain-cloak, his umbrella, were as they had been left. He stood still in the first moment available for thought and knew that here was a new trouble. She must have been so shocked and ashamed as to have fled in the rain eager to get away.
Neither he nor any man could have realized what she felt as her uncle talked wildly—and she had been put up for sale. She used none of the resources of reason. All her body was hot with the same flush of shame which burned in her face. In her passion of disgust and anger, she hurried out into the storm. The chill of the east wind was friendly. She gave no other thought to the wind-driven rain, but ran through the woods like a wild thing, all virginal woman, unreasonable, insulted, angry as a child is angry—even her uncle was forgotten. She ran upstairs, the glory of her rain-soaked hair in tumbled disorder, and in her room broke into the open speech which passion confides to the priest solitude.
"Oh, John Penhallow, how could you! That ends it—a man who could—and oh, John Penhallow!" She cried a little, wailing in a childish way, and then with some returning sense of anxiety put herself in condition to go downstairs, where she learned that her uncle was in bed. She went back to her room.
CHAPTER XXXII
A half hour later John sat alone in the library. He had much to disturb a young man trained to obey and at need command, and was feeling the responsibility of an unusual position. At last he wrote a note to his aunt and sent it up to her by a maid. In a few minutes Ann Penhallow appeared.
"What is it, John? I cannot leave James alone long." She sat down. "Now don't keep me."
"I need not detain you long, but I feel that you ought to know, Aunt Ann, that I have had a talk with Tom McGregor and have sent a telegram to Dr. Askew desiring him to come at once and see my uncle. I ought to hear to-morrow."
She rose to her feet. "You did this, John, without a word to me and knowing that your uncle has over and over said he would not listen to anything of the kind. You have taken a great liberty—I shall telegraph for your doctor not to come. James is always better after these attacks."
Much surprised, he said, "These attacks—has he had them before?"
"Oh, twice—very slight."
"But, aunt, do you not understand how serious this one was?"
"He is better already—much better. There should not be any need to remind you that you are not the head of this house. I shall telegraph at once, in the morning, and stop him."
"It will be too late, aunt."
"Then your doctor may go back. I will not see this doctor if in spite of my telegram he should come. You will understand, John, that this ends it. I certainly will not have James constantly irritated. I shall telegraph now—at once."
"You will do, aunt, as it seems best to you." He saw the telegram written and heard her order to send it to the Westways office.
His aunt, having settled the matter, went upstairs, an angry and indignant woman, leaving in the library a man resolute not to accept defeat.
He wrote a second message: "Disregard Mrs. Penhallow's telegram. Come at once. Fee at discretion. Will meet you at Westways Crossing."
He roused up Josiah and gave his order. "Ride to the mills and get this despatch sent to-night or early to-morrow—oh, to-night, somehow. It is important. Pay some one—only get it sent. Here are five dollars."
He was of no mind to meet either Leila or his aunt, and to escape them breakfasted early next morning, and riding to the mills was pleased to avoid another painful interview. On his return at evening the dinner at Grey Pine was made rather less uncomfortable by the presence of Rivers who talked to Ann Penhallow while the Colonel dozed in his armchair. Accustomed to have her decisions obeyed in her home, Ann Penhallow had now dismissed the question of a consultation as settled, and had quite lightly mentioned to Leila that John had revived the subject and that she had once for all put an end to it.
She was sorry to have had to be so positive, but was pleased to be done with the matter in dispute. She little knew the young soldier. When he was certain that the consultant would come, he began to consider what he would do if his aunt did simply refuse to see Dr. Askew. She might, in fact, be as resolute as her nephew.
In her trouble about her husband's mishap, Ann Penhallow hardly regarded her niece's unpleasant share in the sad ending of the rummage-sale—it was relatively of no moment. Nor would the girl herself have been willing to discuss it. John Penhallow should have held his tongue, and now all Westways must be laughing—and she would never—never—forgive him. Evidently her aunt had scolded him about that consultation. She had a little curiosity to know how he had taken it and how he looked when he came to match the will of his young manhood against the unreasonable obstinacy of the woman he had been taught to obey. She observed next day at breakfast that John was more than usually gay, as he asked if there were any errands. There were none. He loitered about waiting and at last went out to the back porch where he stood a minute looking over the box hedge which bounded the garden. Leila was busy taking tribute from the first roses of the summer days. As she bent over, she let them fall one by one into the basket at her feet. Now and then she drew up her tall figure, and seemed to John as she paused to be deep in thought. When she became aware of his approach, she fell again to harvesting roses.
He said, "Leila, before I go to the mills, I want to talk with you about what is troubling me. In fact—"
Without looking up she broke into his attempt to explain himself, "I am in no mood to discuss anything, John Penhallow."
He was frankly puzzled. Of the many Leilas, this was a new acquaintance, but he said quietly, "It is necessary to make a statement—I want first to explain."
She refreshed her rising anger with words. "I do not want any explanation—there are things no woman can pardon. I was insulted."
"My dear Leila, upon my honour I do not know what you mean."
She was near to saying, "I am not yours, or dear." Something in the look of the attentive face and the calmness of his manner put her on guard, and she said only, "That is, I presume, because you are not a woman."
He said, "I do not regret that, but you clearly are thinking of one thing and I of another. It must be the rummage-sale. I have no desire to discuss that sorrowful business, Miss Grey. You have quite misapprehended me. It is of Uncle Jim I want to talk—in fact, to ask advice."
"I did not understand," she said, flushing a little. His formal manner was very unpleasant, and to be called Miss Grey was ridiculous. If he had shown anger or even annoyance it would have eased the situation. He went on to explain himself, rather aware of her embarrassment and not altogether sorry for her mishap.
"I said I want help—advice. I have sent for Prof. Askew. Aunt Ann has telegraphed him not to come. I wired him to disregard her message. He has answered me that he will be here at the house, if the train is on time, about six to-day. It is our last hope, but it is a hope. Aunt Ann must see this gentleman—I say she must. Now, how can it be managed?"
Leila let fall a handful of roses into the basket and faced him. "Take time," he said. "I do really need help—how can I make Aunt Ann see this famous surgeon? Take time," he repeated.
Here was for Leila a rather astonishing revelation of resolute aggressive manhood—a new John Penhallow. Relieved to have been taken out of her angry mood, she stood still a moment while he waited on her counsel. "There is but one way," she said, "it is the only way. I do not like it—whether you will be willing to accept it, I do not know."
"And still you advise it?"
"I do not."
"Well, what is it?"
"At about six every afternoon, when Uncle Jim is asleep, Aunt Ann is almost certain to be in her little library-room. Take Dr. Askew in, present him, and walk out. She will hate it, but she is sure to be what she is always to a guest. He will have his chance."
"Thank you, Miss Grey."—How she hated that!—"You have helped me." He touched his army cap in salute and left her alone. At the garden gate he looked back—Miss Grey was also looking back, and vexed at being thus caught bent down again and cut buds and roses with sharp nips of the scissors.
It was not in the nature or breeding of John Penhallow to like Leila's plan for securing to the surgeon a chance to impose on a reluctant woman a clearly stated opinion which otherwise she might have the courage to disregard. But what else could he do? A little after six he met the carriage far down the avenue and walked slowly to the house with the younger McGregor and the surgeon.
"You are most welcome," said John. "Dr. McGregor has, I trust, told you of our difficulties with my aunt?"
Askew smiled. "Yes; it is no uncommon case. I may add that Dr. McGregor's letters have satisfied me that an immediate operation offers the only and too long delayed chance of success. I must, of course, see Mrs. Penhallow—the sooner the better."
"Yes—pray follow me." He led the way across the hall, opened the library door, and said to the astonished lady, "Prof. Askew, Aunt Ann." Then he went out.
Well aware of being trapped, Mrs. Penhallow stood up and apparently at perfect ease said, "You must have had a very tiresome journey."
"Not very," he returned, as he accepted a seat.
Then the little lady sat up and said, "You must pardon me if I say that this consultation has been brought about by my nephew against my husband's wishes."
"And your own?"
"Yes, my own."
"I so understand it. May I say in my defence that I missed your telegram and only saw it when it was sent after me on the train, but now I am here." She had not the courage to say what she would have liked to say, and he went on. "General Hancock saw me a day or two back. What he said of your husband gave me at once a personal interest in him. Isn't it odd how one is brought to realize what a small place our world is? I was at Port Delaware before the war ended and saw there—I was on inspection duty—a Confederate Colonel, Henry Grey—a prisoner. Is he not a relation of the handsome Miss Grey we met on the avenue?"
"My niece. He is my brother."
"Indeed! I gave some advice about his wound—it was not serious. May I talk to you a little about your husband?"
She felt herself cornered, and could not escape without discourtesy, of which she was quite incapable; "Or," he added, "may I not rather talk first to Colonel Penhallow, and later to you? It is, I take it, his view of this very grave matter which naturally influences you."
For the briefest of moments she made no reply. Then she stood up and felt the force conveyed in the personality of George Askew, as he towered over her, a man of unusual height. She looked up at the large kind face the long sad wards knew so well. The lines of thought were deeply graven below a broad forehead thinly crowned with yellow hair now fast greying. He showed no sign of impatience. "Yes," she said, "that will be better—you must see Mr. Penhallow before you talk to me. If he consents to do what you want to do—I—Well, Dr. Askew, I am just now too angry to reason. Have the kindness to follow me."
She was unwilling to give her husband any more choice than John Penhallow had given her. If the Colonel became irritable and declined to accept the visit of this impressive personage as a surgeon, well, that must of course end the matter. But as he went upstairs behind her, there arose in her mind a storm-battered hope.
The surgeon was smiling and so far pleased. He was greatly interested in the case he was about to see. It had excited some discussion as unusual, and the unusual in surgery or medicine has many times been the guide to broad highways of usefulness where the daring of the one has made easy the way for the many. Now he meant to win the confidence of the man, if he proved sane enough to reason. He might also have to make more complete his conquest of this coldly civil hostess. It was for him an old game, and he played it with tact and skill.
She paused at the door. "Pray wait a moment, Doctor. No—he has wakened,
I hear him." He stopped her.
"Before we see the Colonel—before I see him—I want you to be heartily in accord with any decision we may reach. There are but two courses which seem to me possible, and I do want you to feel sure that either you will have to watch a mind crumble hopelessly or, if we succeed, see one of those amazing recoveries which are like the dawning of day. I say this most earnestly, because your hearty help may be wanted. If he says no to our decision, his fate may really rest with your will to stand by me."
This was pretty hard, and no time was given for discussion. She looked up at the kind pleading face, and while feeling that she must yield, hesitated—so distinctly hesitated that the surgeon's brow became severely grave as the furrows between the eyes deepened in growing wonder. He took her hand as if to get into some personal touch with a woman whose opposition he could not understand. "You will help me? In this man's condition a word may win or lose a game in which the stake is a life—oh, that is little—or the restoration of a noble, useful mind. I know you will help me."
She looked down, and said faintly, "Yes."
"Thank you." He smiled—"Bless me! what a little hand," he said, as he let it fall.
She opened the door and as he followed her, stepped aside, saying bravely, "Here is a friend, James. You will like to see Dr. Askew."
He took the chair she set at the bedside, while the Colonel regarded him suspiciously, saying, "I think I heard of you after Gettysburg."
"Yes, I took care of General Hancock. A lot of us went down to help. Curious case his—a ball hit the pommel of his saddle and drove a nail into his leg."
"Yes, I heard of it. It was thought they were firing nails—queer that!"
Askew seized on the moment of illumined intelligence, wondering what dull surgeon had set in this man's mind an obsession which forbade all other opinion. "Hancock will suffer long—but now, about you—did no one think you could be relieved by an operation? Take your time to answer me."
Penhallow, groping in the confusion of remote memories, returned, "I seem to recall—yes—it was talked of—"
"But not done? Some one is responsible for these years of pain. You do suffer?"
"Oh, my God! yes. I try to bear it." His eyes filled. "Is it too late?"
"No," said Askew, "it is not." What doubt he had he put aside.
"Then we will see to-morrow."
"An operation!" said Ann, alarmed. A look conquered her. "You will do,
James, whatever Dr. Askew wishes?"
"I will—but don't make me talk any more, Ann—my head aches."
Askew rose. "Please to send up the Drs. McGregor. May I make use of another room?"
"Yes, of course."
Ann Penhallow found Dr. Tom and his father on the porch with Leila and John. She said, "Take the doctors up to my own room, Leila, and I want to talk with John—there are some arrangements to make."
Leila, guiltily conscious of her share in securing the surgeon's interview with her aunt, was glad to accept the hint and the chance to escape.
Ann sat down beside John, and said, "John, why did you trick me into a talk with Dr. Askew?"
"Because, aunt, you said you would not see him—and it was necessary."
"You took me too literally."
"I took you at your word—something had to be done. If it fails, we are no worse off."
"But it may fail—oh! what if it does, John."
"Aunt Ann, I am in despair. Listen to me; no, I must talk it out. The agreement with uncle's old partners ended with the war. Things at the mills are in confusion—what is to be done? I asked Uncle Jim to give me a power of attorney to act for him. He refused. You supported him. Delay is ruinous, and yet we can do nothing. You are vexed with me—Yes—you have not given me my morning kiss for days. Leila is unreasonably angry with me because that dreadful night I did the only thing possible in my power to stop my uncle. I am most unhappy. I sometimes think I had better go away and look for work as an engineer, and—you did love me once." He rose and walked up and down the porch silent; he had emptied mind and heart. Then he paused before her. She was crying, as she said, "Don't reproach me, John—I can't bear it—I have had to bear too much to-day—and you were so naughty." He leaned over and kissed her forehead. "John," she said, "there is to be an operation to-morrow. It is terrible. May the good God be kind to him and us. Now go away—I want to be alone. See that Dr. Askew is well cared for."
"Certainly, Aunt Ann." He had won his battle.
At dinner the doctor was at pains to dispel the gloom which, as he well knew, falls on those who love when one of the critical hours of life approaches. When they left the table he went into the library with the doctors and John, where they smoked many pipes and talked war.
At breakfast next day Askew's account of his early morning drew a smile even from Ann Penhallow. "Sleep! Yes, I suppose I slept. There was a blank of some hours. I am apt to waken early. At dawn there was a bright red-eyed sky, then it clouded as if the eyes had shut. A little later Miss Grey rode away on a chestnut horse. I walked through your garden and an unseen lady gave me this rose-bud. I had a joyful swim. As I came back I saw Captain Penhallow ride away—and why not with you, Miss Grey? You may perceive that I am a dangerous man to entertain. If you do not prefer better society, may I ask to ride with you to-morrow?"
"What better society?" asked Leila.
"Oh, Miss Grey, alone—by herself."
The two young people understood the charitable gaiety of his talk, but although one of them at least was feeling a sudden access of relief the quick jesting chat and laughter became distressing to Ann Penhallow. At last she rose and excused herself, saying, "Another cup? My niece will give it to you."
"One moment," he returned—his face became grave. "I shall operate early this morning. You must go out-of-doors—the porch—I suggest the porch. I shall send down Dr. McGregor to tell you frankly the result of my operation. I want Captain Penhallow, and with him and the two McGregors we shall care for my patient. I hope the doctors will let you see the Colonel in a week. I shall trespass on your hospitality for two days more."
"I could wish it were a week. I shall do precisely what you desire."
John Penhallow caught some signal of amused surprise in Leila's looks. He checked his own smile of partnership in mirth at Ann Penhallow's sudden subjugation, feeling that with Leila the intimacies of mirth were at an end.
Ann took her knitting and went out upon the back porch. "How many rows can I knit until I hear? No, Leila—I want to be alone. Here is a note from Mr. Rivers. The Bishop met him at Harrisburg and carried him off to Philadelphia. I hope there is no scheme to take him away. Now go, dear." She heard the voices of the McGregors as they went upstairs. She sat alone and waited.
Among the friends who know me only through my summer-born books, there must be many who can recall such hours of suspense as Ann Penhallow endured. The clock in the hall struck ten. A little later her keen sense made her aware of the faint odour of ether from the open windows on the second floor. She let fall her work, went down the garden path, and walked with quick steps among the firstlings of June. Then came Tom McGregor swiftly, and in his smiling face she read good news.
"It is all right," he said; "it is over. There was a fracture of the fragile inner layer of the bone—a piece was pressing on the brain—it was easily removed. The doctor is very much pleased. Oh, my dear Mrs. Penhallow, there are better days ahead for you and him. Now, I must go back."
"Thank God!" she said, "and—and you—and—John. God forgive me, I have been a fool!"
The next two days went by without incident. Askew rode, walked, and had no news for her except, "He is doing well." He would say no more. What hours of doubt, of watchful fear, he had, she never knew. On the morning of the third day, while the carriage waited to carry him away, Mrs. Penhallow led him into her library.
"Now," she said, with her cheque-book open before her, "we owe you a debt none can pay, but let me offer you my most humble apologies for my behaviour when you came."
"Please, don't," he returned.
"But I had to. And now, let me know what is our lesser and more material debt?"
He rose, smiling. "It has been my happy, unbroken rule to take nothing from any soldier who served in this sad war—oh! on either side. I have made, I hope, some friends. The Colonel asked to-day about a horse Dixy—I think—and when could he ride. You may imagine my pleasure. He will get well, but you must be patient. I leave him in competent hands, and in the fall I mean to come back and shoot your woodcocks. Good-bye." He was gone.
CHAPTER XXXIII
A week later Ann Penhallow was told that she might see her husband. She entered his bedroom with timidity. "Oh, Ann, my most dear Ann!" he cried, as she kissed him. His expression of recovered intelligence overcame her for a moment.
She faltered, "How are you feeling, James—any better?"
"Better—I am well."
"Hardly, dear—do be careful." She was unable to accept as a wholesome reality this amazing resurrection of a mind.
He understood her need for some reassurance, and said, "Don't worry about me, Ann. It is like a vague dream, all these many months—but a dream you know fades fast. My own memories get clearer—some things are quite lost—some are as distinct as if they happened yesterday. The war is a puzzle to me—and—if I try to remember, it confuses me. But I must not talk war to you—I do remember that. I won't do it again, dear."
There was something so childlike in this that it almost overcame the woman's steadily guarded calm. She had been warned to be careful that there should be no excitement to agitate a mind which was slowly groping its way out of the shadows of half-illumined memories.
"Oh, my dear James," she said quietly, "talk of war or anything; it is over." Despite her cautious command of her voice it trembled with emotion as she said, "Nothing is of any moment but you—you. What do I care for the war or—or anything but to have you as you were? Oh, my God! I am thankful."
It disturbed him, as she saw. He felt and looked puzzled as he said, "I see—I am not quite clear-headed yet, Ann."
"No, but you will be. Don't try too hard, James. We must be patient and wait."
"I will—I will—and it is such a relief to have no pain and to see you."
Then as he asked about Leila and the mill work, the younger doctor came in and said, "Time is up, Mrs. Penhallow."
"What—already, Tom?"
"But I want to know more," said the Colonel. "Wasn't there a rummage-sale—"
"Yes; but now you must let Mrs. Penhallow go. You are mending daily. To-morrow Mrs. Penhallow may come again, and there will be to-morrow, and many happy to-morrows." She went out and downstairs singing in a low sweet voice—a long lost habit.
If to watch with an aching heart the hopeless decay of a mind be the most distressing of all human trials, surely there can be few greater joys than to see a disordered intellect emerge day by day into possession of its long lost capacities. James Penhallow was soon able to sign a power of attorney enabling John to reconstruct the old partnership with his own name added to the firm.
Very soon town and county shared in the growth of prosperity which followed the war. Rivers was the only one who was not what his friends desired, and never was his melancholy mood more noticeable.
The master of Grey Pine was, of course, many months in recovering his normal state of mind. The man's bodily strength had not been seriously impaired, and the return of his natural gaiety and his eager resumption one by one of his old habits filled his home with that cheerfulness which is the relieving and precious gift of convalescence. Penhallow's remembrances of the war were rapidly recovered as he talked to John, but much of his recent life was buried in the strange graveyard of memory, which gave up no reminding ghosts of what all who loved the man feared might haunt him.
When satisfied of the certainty of his uncle's recovery John Penhallow hurt by Leila's continual coldness and seeing for it no reasonable explanation gave more and more time to the mills in which the family fortunes were so seriously concerned. On the first of September he was glad to go away on business which carried him to several of the large cities, and resulted in orders which would keep the works busy for many months. He no longer wrote to Leila, nor did he expect letters from her. He considered any nearer relation than friendship to be at an end, but to lose that also seemed to him a quite too needlessly cruel loss, and now for the first time on returning he approached Grey Pine without pleasure. He had telegraphed to have a horse sent to meet him at Westways Crossing, that he might ride on to the mills after seeing his uncle.
Having taken the night train, it was about noon when Leila saw him coming up the avenue. She went forward to the roadside and as he sat in the saddle shook his hand, saying, "I am sorry you were delayed, John. You will be disappointed to know that Uncle Jim and Aunt Ann left home yesterday." She wished that he had not quite so clearly shown the limits of his regret, as he said quietly, "Well, I shall miss them, of course."
"A letter from aunt's brother, Henry Grey, asked them to visit him at the old Maryland home. I think it both pleased and surprised Aunt Ann. I am to join them later. Josiah is to matronize me—or, if you like, patronize me. Uncle Jim was delighted to be asked and hopes to reconcile the brothers. Henry's letter was very kind, but he is still suffering from his wound. Of course, Aunt Ann was happy."
He looked down at the upturned face as he sat in the saddle. She had given him no warm word of personal welcome. "Well, it can't be helped. I had much to talk over with uncle." Then he laughed.
"What amuses you, John?"
"Oh, I should like to see the interview. Both Uncle Jim and I had queer encounters with Henry Grey."
"Uncle Jim!—what—when?"
"Ask him. I should have liked to add George Grey to the party. As for your Uncle Henry"—John smiled—"a serious wound is rather productive of the unexpected, as I know. I will see you at dinner—now I must go on to the mills." He rode away thinking without pleasure of being alone with Leila.
The presence of the maids who waited at dinner kept their conversation on the Colonel's rapid gain in health, village incidents, and the mill life—mere loitering disconnected talk of no interest except to fill the hour of two people who would have preferred to be silent.
John said, as he rose from the table, "I have a letter to write, Leila, and so I must leave you to the better company of your book." Once—but a little while ago—he would have asked what book was now on hand. "Any messages for aunt or uncle?"
"None—I wrote this morning."
He sat down in the library at his old desk and wrote: "Dear Leila"—Then he stood up—the easy freedom of the letter was denied to him. He was in the mood when outspoken speech, always for him the more natural way of expressing himself, became imperative. He went back to the hall.
The book lay face down on her lap. "What is it, John?" she asked.
"I want to talk to you—not here. Come into the library; those maids hear everything."
"Certainly," she said, "if you want me."
She sat down, and John leaning against the mantel and looking down at her, said, "I came in here to write to you what is not easy to write or say—I prefer to put it into speech."
"Indeed! I am quite ready to listen."
"After your recent treatment of me, I have no inclination to make myself needlessly unpleasant. You have made it plain to me that what my heart longs for is to be put aside forever. There is something due to a man's self-respect. But if you were a man, Leila, I could say more easily something else. Are we—am I to lose also your friendship—or is even that at an end?"
The blue eyes became less adventurous as she said, "I don't understand you, John."
"I think you do. Long as I have known you, I cannot have known you fully. Blake used to say that everybody is several people, and just now—here has come into my life some one I don't know—and don't want to know."
"Indeed! It must be rather confusing to be several people. Your friend, Mr. Blake, as your letters showed, was rather given to enigmatical statements. I should like to know him. Would you please, John, to bring me my fan—I left it in that delightful book you interrupted."
"Certainly," he said, now a trifle more at ease. For Leila to ask of any one such a service was so unlike her that he felt it to be a betrayal of embarrassment, and was humorously pleased as he went and came again.
She took the fan and played with that expressive piece of a woman's outfit while John brought the talk back to its starting-point.
"Cannot you be the Leila I used to know—a frank girl; or are you to use one of your many disguises and just leave things as they have been of late?"
"If you will say plainly just what you mean, John"—the fan was in active use—"I will be as frank as possible."
"But you may not like it, Leila."
"Oh, go on. I know you are going to be unpleasant."
He looked at her with surprise. "We are fencing—and I hate it. Once at
West Point I was fencing with a man, my friend; the button broke off my
foil and I hurt him seriously. He fell dead beside me in the trenches at
Vicksburg—dead!"
"Oh, John!"—the fan ceased moving.
"What I mean is that one may chance, you or I, to say something that will leave in memory that which no years will blot out. Don't be vexed with me. I have had a cruel summer. What with Uncle Jim and Aunt Ann—and now with you, I—well—you told me after that dreadful night when Uncle Jim was so wild that I had insulted you—"
"Don't talk of it," she cried. "I was put to shame before all those grinning people. You ought to have said nothing—or something better than that farmer boy said—"
"Well—perhaps, Leila; but the point is not what I said in my desire to help you and stop a man for the time insane. The point is that I did not insult you; for an insult to be really that it must be intentional."
"Then you think I was unreasonably angry?"
"Yes, I do; and ever since then you have been coldly civil. I cannot stand it. I shall never again ask you for what you cannot give, but if you are to continue to resent what I said, then Grey Pine is no home for me."
She stood up, the fan falling to the floor. "What do you want me to say,
John Penhallow?"
"Wait a little—just a word more. It was what poor Uncle Jim said that hurt you. You could not turn on him; in your quite natural dismay or disgust you turned on me, who meant only to help in a dreadful situation. You know I am right"—his voice rose as he went on—"it is I, not you, who am insulted. If you were a man, I should ask for an apology; as you are the woman I have hopelessly loved for years, I will not ask you to say you were wrong—I do not want you to say that. I want you to say you are sorry you hurt me."
"I am sorry I hurt you, John. Will that do?"—her eyes were filling.
"Yes—but—"
"But what?"
"Oh, I want you to feel sorry."
"Don't say any more," she returned. "Let us be friends again." She put out her hand, he took it, picked up her fan, laid it on the table, and saying "Thank you!" opened the door towards which she moved and closed it after her.
"And so"—she kept saying to herself—"we are to be no more than friends." She sat still staring across the hall, trying to read. She was fast losing control of the woman who was fenced in by social rule and custom, trained to suppress emotion and to be the steady mistress of insurgent passion. "My God," she murmured, "I should never have been angry when he bought me, if I had not loved him—and now it is all over—perhaps!"
Some readjustment there may have been, for when he reentered the hall an hour later, she was reading. He said, as she looked up, "I mean to have a long tramp to-morrow. I shall start early and walk to the mills and on to the ore-beds. Then I shall return over the hills back of Westways, and bring you, I hope, a few wood-pigeons. I may be a little late for dinner."
"But, John, it is quite twelve miles, and you will have to carry a gun—and your arm—"
John laughed happy laughter. "That was so like Aunt Ann!"
"Was it?—and now you will say 'yes, yes, you are quite right,' and walk away and do just as you meant to do, like Uncle Jim."
"I may, but I will not walk further than Grey Pine." The air had cleared—he had done some good!
"Good-night," he said, "it is late."
"Don't go too far, John. I shall read a while. This book is really so interesting. We will talk about it."
"Good-night, once more."
The woman he left in the hall laid her book aside. Her unreasonable vexation had gone, defeated by the quiet statement of his simply confessed unhappiness. She looked about the hall and recalled their youth and the love of which she still felt sure. The manliness of his ways appealed to her sense of the value of character. Why she had been so coldly difficult of approach she did not know. What woman can define that defensive instinct? "He shall ask me again, and I—ah, Heaven!—I love him." A wild passionate longing shook her as she rose to her feet.
At early morning John wandered away through the woods feeling the joyful relief from the hot air of cities. After his visit to the mills and the iron-mines, he struck across a somewhat unfamiliar country, found few birds, and the blackened ravage of an old forest fire. He returned to the well-known river-bank below the garden and the pines, and instead of going to Grey Pine as he had meant to do went on as far as the cabin, failing to get any more birds. He had walked some fourteen miles, and was reminded by a distinct sense of fatigue that the body had not yet regained its former vigour.
It was about five of the warm September day when he came to the old log-house. Smiling as he recalled the memories of his childhood, he went into the cabin and found its shelter pleasant and the cooling air of evening grateful. He took off his game bag, laid it on the floor, set his gun against the wall, and glad of a rest sat down. Having enjoyed his first smoke of the day, he let his head drop on the floor, and by no means intending it fell asleep.
Leila too was in a happier mood, and sure of not meeting John set out to walk through the forest. After a pleasant loitering stroll she stopped at the cabin door, and as she glanced in saw John Penhallow asleep. She leaned against the door post and considered the motionless sleeper in the shadows of the closing day. She was alone with him—alone as never before. He would neither question nor make answer. Strange thoughts came into her mind, disturbing, novel. How could he sleep without a pillow? It must be an army habit after tent-less nights of exhaustion in the deadly trenches. People—men—had tried to kill this living silent thing before her; and he too—he too had wanted to kill. She wondered at that as with the motion of a will-less automaton she drew nearer step by step. Her feet unwatched struck the half-filled game-bag. She stumbled, caught her breath, and had a moment of fear as she hung the bag on the wooden hook upon which as a child she used to hang her sun-bonnet.
Then again some natural yearning moved her, and unresisting as in a dream she drew still nearer—merely a woman in an unguarded moment once again under the control of a great passion which knew no social rule of conduct nor the maiden modesties of a serenely dutiful life. At each approach, she stood still, unashamed, innocent of guile, thrilling with emotion which before in quiet hours had been felt as no more disturbing than the wandering little breezes which scarcely stir the leafage of the young spring. She stood still until she won bodily mastery of this stormy influence with its faintly conveyed sense of maiden terror. Her thoughts wandered as she looked down on the sleeper. In voiceless self-whispered speech she said, "Ah me! he used to be so vexed when I said he was too young to ask me—a woman—to marry him. How young he looks now!" The wounded arm forever crippled lay across his breast. She caught her breath. "I wonder," she thought, "if we get younger in sleep—and then age in the daytime. Good Heavens! he is smiling like a baby. Oh! but I should like to know what he is thinking of." There was unresisted fascination in the little drama of passionate love so long repressed.
She knelt beside him, saw the one great beauty of the hardy bronzed face, the mouth now relaxed, with the perfect lip lines of a young Antinous. She bent over him intent, reading his face as a child reads some forbidden book, reading it feature by feature as a woman reads for the first time with understanding a passionate love-poem. Ah, if he would but open his eyes and then sleep again and never know. He moved, and she drew back ready for flight, shy and startled. And now he was quiet. "I must—I must," she murmured. "His lips? Ah! would they forgive?—and—if, if he wakens, I shall die of shame. Oh, naughty love of mine that was so cruel yesterday, I forgive you!" What would he do—must he do—if he wakened? The risk, the urgent passion of appealing love, gave her approach the quality of a sacred ceremonial. She bent lower, not breathing, fearful, helpless, and dropt on his forehead a kiss, light as the touch a honey-seeking butterfly leaves on an unstirred flower. He moved a little; she rose in alarm and backed to the door. "Oh! why did I?" she said to herself, reproachful for a moment's delicious weakness. She looked back at the motionless sleeper, as she stood in the doorway. "Why did I?—but then he does look so young—and innocent."
Once more in the world of custom, she fled through the forest shadows, and far away sank down panting. She caught up the tumbled downfall of hair, and suddenly another Leila, laughed as she remembered that he would miss the game-bag he had set at his side. How puzzled he would be when he missed it. Amused delight in his wondering search captured her. She saw again the beauty of his mouth and the face above it as she recalled what her Aunt Margaret Grey had mischievously said to her, a girl, of James Penhallow. "He has the one Penhallow beauty—the mouth, but then he has that monumental Penhallow nose—it might be in the way." She had not understood, but now she did, and again laughing went away homeward, not at all unhappy or repentant, for who would ever know, and love is a priest who gives absolution easily.
CHAPTER XXXIV
In her room she went straight to the long cheval glass and looked at Leila Grey. "So, he will never ask me again?" The mirror reported a quite other answer. "Mark Rivers once said conscience runs down at times like a watch. I must have forgotten to wind up mine. How could I have done it!" She blushed a little at the remembrance. "Well, he will never know." She dressed in white summer garb with unusual care and went down the stairs smiling.
"The Captain is not in yet," said the maid.
She waited long for John Penhallow, who had gone up the back stairs, and now at last came down to dinner.
"Excuse me, Leila. I was so very tired that I fell asleep in the old cabin, but I had a noble tramp, and there are some birds, not many; I shot badly." He said no word of the displaced game-bag, which made her uneasy, but talked of the mills and of some trouble at the mines about wages. She pretended to be interested.
After dinner, she said, "You will want to smoke—come into Uncle Jim's library. I like the pipe smell. How Aunt Ann detests it!"
"Has Uncle Jim gone back to his pipe?" he inquired, as she sat down.
"Yes, and Aunt Ann declares that she likes it now."
"How pleasantly you women can fib," remarked John.
She made no reply except, "Well, sometimes." He did not fill his pipe although he lighted in succession two matches and let them burn out.
"Why don't you smoke, John?" This was a vague effort at the self-defence which she felt might be needed, the mood of the hour not being at all like the mood of two hours ago.
"No," he replied, "not yet. Where did you walk—or did you walk?"
"Oh, I took a little stroll through the woods."
"Did you chance to go by the old cabin?" This was very dreadful.
"Oh, one hardly remembers if one passes places seen every day. Why do you ask, John?"—and then knew she was fatally blundering.
"Why? Oh, I fell asleep, and when I woke up my game-bag had mysteriously hung itself on the wall."
"You might have put it there and forgotten it."
"No, some one must have been in the cabin."
"Oh, John, how stupid of us! Why, of course, it was Josiah."
John was in a state of mind to enjoy the game, and shaking his head in negation said, "No, Josiah passed me long before. He had a lot of frogs he caught in Lonesome Man's Swamp."
Miss Leila having exhausted all the possible explanations, said with sweet simplicity, "Did you ever find out the origin of that name? Who was the lonesome man? You see, John, lonesome seems to stand for lonely and sad, as Mr. Rivers said." This was rather too clever, but the young woman was so near detection as not to think wisely.
John repeated her words, "Lonely and sad." He had been humorously sure of his prey, but the words she used had the effect of bringing into direct speech the appeal she had been trying to evade and knew was near at hand.
He stood leaning against the mantel, his crippled arm caught in his waistcoat. Repeating her word "lonesome" "more than merely alone"—he put aside his pipe, the companion of many camp-fires. His moment of after-silence caused the blue eyes to question timidly with upward glance as their owner sat below him. He was very grave as he said, "I have come, Leila, to a critical time in my life. I loved you in a boy's unmeaning way; I loved you as a lad and a man. I have said so often in one way or another. You told me at West Point pretty plainly that—oh, you made it clear—that I was a boy asking a woman for her heart. It was years ago."
"John, I—want to—"
"Well—later—now I mean to have my say. You were not altogether wrong. I told you that I should ask again when I had more to offer than a boy cadet. Since then I have held my tongue, or said enough to be sure that your reply made clear that my time had not yet come.
"You cannot know how much you have been a part of my life. I went gladly into the war because it was a righteous cause. No man thinks as he goes into action, this is for my country, but—well, Leila, many times when men were falling around me, you have been with me. If a fatal ball had found me, I should have carried with me to another world a thought of you. This is not mere lover's talk. I believe in you—you are a noble-minded woman, worthy of any man's love, but"—and he smiled—"as Josiah put it, you are rather numerous."
"Am I?—I am much obliged by Josiah's study of my character."
"Don't, please, Leila! It is true. I have been as good as my word. I have been through all that can tempt in camps and cities. I was only a young officer, but I have won praise from men whose praise is history. Did you ever think that an honest love may be to a man like a second—an angelic—conscience? By Heaven! Leila, it should make a woman careful."
The woman's eyes had long since been lost to the man's, as with bent head she listened intently, for the first time amazed at what she had been to a man whose ideals were of the highest and his ways beyond reproach. A coy upward lift of the proudly carried head—a mere glance of transient reply—too brief for the man to read—might have meant, "Have not I too been careful of my life!"
He went on slowly. "You and I have not been spared the discipline of responsibility. Action, danger—helps a man. You at home have had the worst of it—you dear, sweet, beautiful thing. It would have made some women peevish or rebellious. You have grown under it in mind and heart, and I think the soul has fed the dear body. To have set you free from Aunt Ann's morbid unreason and the sorrow of Uncle Jim's condition would have been enough to repay my taking over responsibilities which Aunt Ann should have borne."
"John—I—"
"No, dear, let me say a word more. I have at last talked myself out—or almost. It is vain to put me aside again. You do not dare to say you do not love me—"
"You have not asked me," she murmured.
"No, I said I would not yesterday. A tender word would have brought me to your feet—and I was very sore."
"If you were a woman, you would have understood and—"
"Oh, wait a little," he said. "You are going to ask me to marry you, Leila Grey—" She was on her feet. "Take care," he cried, and a smile on the strong battle-tried face arrested her angry outburst.
She said only, "Why?—I ask—you—why indeed?"
"Because, Leila, you owe it to my self-respect—because you have given that which implies love, and all I ask—"
She looked up at him with eyes that implored pity, but all she found herself able to say was, "I don't understand."
"You kissed me in the cabin this afternoon—I was not asleep—I had half risen when I heard you, and I fell back in wondering quiet to see what you would do or say when you should wake me up."
She was silent.
"And then you kissed me—"
"Oh, John! how wicked of you—why did you keep so still?"
"I waited—longing."
"For what?"
"Hoping you would kiss me again."
"What! twice?" she cried. "How could you think I would kiss you twice—I was so ashamed—"
"Well, Leila?"
She began to feel that she was perilously close to tears, as he said softly, "Leila Grey!"
"John Penhallow, will you take me—oh, John! I love you."
He caught her hand and touched it with his lips reverently.
"If," she cried, "if you do not give me back my kiss, I shall die of shame."
He bent over her and kissed her forehead lightly, as though he were in fear of too familiar approach to a thing too sacred for a rude caress. A great surf-like rush of comprehension swept over the woman. "Was I so loved as this—so honoured?" Then she said suddenly, "You are pale—are you in pain?" for she saw him grasp the wounded arm and set his teeth.
"Yes, yes—sometimes—when things happen—it wakes up and reminds me. I shall be better in a moment. Take care"—for her arms were around him—"I think, dear, I am not yet as strong as I shall be—but love is a great tonic, and—I can bear no more to-night. I am in pain. I fear this has been too much for me."
Then he kissed her on lips that took it as a great draft from the fountain of youth and love. "To-morrow, dear, we will ride together—in the morning. Ah, together!"
"Where—Jack?"
"Oh, into fairyland! God bless you! Great Heavens, how beautiful you are!
Good-night!"
She fell into a seat as he went out, and heard his feet on the stair—then he stood beside her again.
"Leila, forgive me—I was hard—uncourteous—to make you say—"
"Hush!" she cried, between tears and laughter, as she put her hand over his mouth, "no one shall abuse my Jack—not even Captain Penhallow. There, sir! I deserved it." She ran by him, and was gone.
I have not the pass-words into fairyland, and where they rode that morning in September is not within my knowledge; nor can I say what adventures they may have met with. The byways of this enchanted land here and there by ill-luck come near to the haunts of men, who may catch glimpses of such as ride through fairyland unsuspicious of other eyes. Billy neglectful of mails this morning, was on the river bobbing for eels. To be long attentive to anything was for him impossible, wherefore his wandering gaze caught sight for a moment through the fringe of willows of two people riding slowly. He saw with amazement that on horseback in fairyland the feat of kissing is possible.
Some hours later, my lovers, feeling as John wickedly quoted, that "the world is too much with us," rode into Westways to get Billy's neglected mail.
Mr. Crocker, lean and deaf, at ease in charge of the grocery counter, sat unoccupied in his shirt sleeves, while Mrs. Crocker bent over the mail she had sorted. There were letters for the little group of village folk, who read them at once as they sat on the step or as they moved away stumbling along the sidewalk.
Mrs. Crocker sallied out with a batch of letters. "Quite a lot, Captain.
Good-morning, Leila."
"Mail these, Mrs. Crocker," said the travellers fresh from fairyland.
"I saw some was from the Squire and some from Mrs. Penhallow—Squire's writing better."
"You wicked Mrs. Crocker," said John, "how much you pick up of folk's secrets, I should like to know—"
"Secrets!" laughed Leila. "They can't be read on the outside of letters."
Then Mrs. Crocker on the sidewalk to them on horseback began to talk.
John seeing that Leila was interested and amused sat still and listened.
"Secrets," exclaimed the post-mistress, "ain't all inside of letters. They're on the envelopes sometimes. Oh! I've seen 'em in war time, letters that looked like they'd been out in the rain—sort of blistered; and people here in those days just tore open their letters and laughed or cried." Mrs. Crocker caught her breath and paused.
"I know, John," said Leila in a low aside.
"And there used to come back from the front letters marked 'missing' or 'can't be found.' Folks used to come in gay and go away with a letter just crumpled up in a hand. And now it's all over—and up you come right gallant and happy. Here comes old Granny Lamb tottering along. I'd invent a letter from that brute if I could. I tell you, Leila, mother-hope dies hard."
"It is sad—dreadful. Come, John."
"One minute, please," said Mrs. Crocker, "I'm not half done. I tell you, Captain John, there's a heap of human nature comin' and goin' through a post-office. Well, good-bye."
They rode away to Grey Pine exchanging bits from their letters. Their uncle and aunt would be home in a week. "Sooner—if they get the letter I mailed last night," laughed Leila.
"I should like to have seen it."
"No doubt."
At the open avenue gate Josiah was waiting. He saluted in soldier fashion, Penhallow acknowledging the greeting in like manner.
Josiah said, "Wouldn't you just let me have a minute with the Captain?"
Leila laughed. "Certainly." She rode away wondering what Josiah had to report alone to the man who for him was and always would he Captain despite the old custom of the regular army.
"Well, Josiah—nothing wrong, I trust."
"No, sir—everything just entirely right—but first I got to ask your advice. I've had a letter from the Colonel—he just says some things ought to make a man kind of blush."
John had the odd thought that a blush must be the securely private property of a fellow as black as this grey-headed old friend. "What does he say, Josiah?"
"He wants to give me a farm."
"Well, why not—you have earned a dozen."
"I'd like it—but—if you're goin' to marry Miss Leila, I'd rather live with you."
"Good Heavens!" said the traveller out of fairyland, "what put that in your head?"
Josiah smiled. "You'll please to excuse me, Captain—but I thought I ought to tell you about that fool Billy. He was bobbin' for eels—and—he saw you go by—"
"Well, what else?"
"He met me and he said, 'Saw Mr. John kissin' Miss Leila!' He was off like a shot singin' out 'Goin' to get married, sure.' It will be all over Westways by noon, sir."
John laughed. "Well, it's true, Josiah—Confound Billy! Well, what more?"
"Oh, I would rather live with you. The Colonel wants to give me a farm—don't want any farm."
"Well, well—we'll see about it later."
"The trouble would be, sir, who's to shave the Colonel?"
"That's serious," said John, as he rode away to rejoin Leila, who had meant to keep their secret from the village until their aunt's return. Three days went by before Ann Penhallow's letter of reply came to hand.
"Well, any more news, Leila?" said John.
"Yes, but not altogether pleasant—I am to leave early tomorrow. Uncle Jim will meet me in Philadelphia—and, oh! I know Aunt Ann well—there will be no end of shopping."
"I should feel worse about it, Leila, but I see by one of my letters that there is some row in Pittsburgh over our last rails. I am not responsible, but I must go to-night and see about it. Isn't it dreadful, Leila?"
The two having come of late into a great inheritance in fairyland demanding close personal attention were at one as regarded absence.
After dinner Leila said, "My order to report to headquarters from heart-quarters was in the second post-script. I have saved the rest of the letter for you."
"Read it, please."
"MY DEAR CHILDREN: You are a pair of young ostriches—you know what they do. Did you suppose a middle-aged ostrich could not use her eyes? I did think it took a quite needless length of time."
"Isn't that absurd, John, as if—"
"Well, what more?"
She read on—"I dislike long engagements—"
"Now, that is better, Leila."
"Your uncle says you must live at Grey Pine. I said, no—young married people had better be alone. He must build you a house on the river nearer the mills. I am making a list of what furniture you will require—"
"There is more of that—much more, John, and a list of things to be done before her return. Isn't that like what aunt was before the war?"
John laughed. "Well, she will have her way."
"More or less," said Leila. "Oh, there's another postscript!"
"Well?"
"I think you should be married about Christmas week. Of course, Mark Rivers will marry you, and I shall ask the Bishop to assist, when I see him on our way home. Don't fail to write to both your uncles."
"It is certainly complete," said John. He left for Pittsburgh that night.
* * * * *
I have little to add to this long story. The days went by swiftly, and after a week all of the family, except John, were once more together at Grey Pine. Mark Rivers had also returned. He was too evidently in one of his moods of sombre silentness, but his congratulations were warm and as he sat at dinner he made unusual efforts to be at his agreeable best.
When they left the table, he said, "No, Colonel, I shall not smoke to-night. May I have a few minutes of your time, Mrs. Penhallow?"
"Certainly, Mark—I want to talk to you about the Bible Class—I mean to take it up again." She led the way into her own little library. "Sit down—there is so much to talk over. Of course, you will marry these dear children somewhere about Christmas time."
"No," he said, "I shall be far away."
"Away! Oh, Mark! surely you do not mean to leave us."
"Yes, I am going to live as a missionary among the Indians."
"You cannot—you really cannot—where could you be more useful than here?"
"No, I must go. My life on the whole has been most happy here—and how to thank you I fail to be able to say."
"But why," she urged, "why do you go?"
"Oh—I want—I must have an active life, open air, even risks. The war gave me what I need for entire competence of body and mind to use in my Master's service. But now, the war is at an end—"
"Thank God! But all you ask—and more—Mark, except danger, are here—and oh, but we shall miss you, and more than ever when we miss too these children. Think of it—don't make up your mind until James talks to you—"
"No, I go to-morrow."
"But it does seem to me, Mark, that you are making a serious change without sufficient consideration of what you lose and we lose."
"Yes, yes," he returned, "I know—but to remain is for me impossible."
"But why?"
He was silent a moment, looking at this dear friend with the over-filled eyes of a troubled and yet resolute manhood. Then he said, "I did not mean to tell you why in my weakness flight alone will save me from what has been to me unbearable here and ever will be."
"Can I in any way help you?"
"No."
"But what is it—trust me a little—what is it?"
He hesitated, and then said, "It is Leila Grey! God pity my weakness, and you will say good-bye and give the Squire this note and them my love." He was gone.
The woman sat still for an hour, pitiful, and understanding the flight of a too sensitive man. Then she gave her husband the note, with her good-night, and no other word. Of why her friend had gone she said later nothing, except to defend him for his obedience to the call of duty. Late that evening John returned.
When after breakfast next day he and Leila were riding through the wood-roads of the forest, John said, "I cannot or I could not see why Mr. Rivers went away so abruptly."
"Nor I," said Leila. Then there was one of those long silences dear to lovers.
"What are you thinking of, Jack?"
"Uncle Jim told me last night the story of the early life of Mark
Rivers."
"Tell it to me."
He told it—"But," he continued, "that was not all of him. I have heard Mr. Rivers hold at the closest attention a great crowd of soldiers with that far-carrying voice; and then to hear as he led them singing the old familiar hymns—perhaps a thousand men—oh, it was a thing to remember! And they loved him, Leila, because behind the battle line he was coolly, serviceably brave; and in the hospital wards—well, as tender as—well, as you would have been. I wondered, Leila, why he did not marry again. The first was a mistake, but I suppose he knew that for him to marry would have been wrong, with that sad family history. Probably life never offered him the temptation."
"Perhaps not," said Leila, and they rode out of the woods and over the meadows. "Let us talk of something less sad."
"Well, Leila, a pleasant thing to discuss is Tom McGregor. I suspect him of a fortunate love affair with the daughter of the General at Fortress Monroe."
"Indeed—but what else? Oh, our own great debt to him!"
"Uncle Jim is considering that. We may trust him to be more than generous. Yes, surely. Now for a run over this grass. Can you take that fence?"
"Can I, indeed! Follow me, Jack."
"Anywhere. Everywhere, Leila!"