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Wisdom while you wait

Chapter 4: The Editors.
By E. V. Lucas
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Humour

About This Book

A brief satirical miscellany masquerades as promotional material for a ludicrously grand encyclopaedia, blending parodic advertising copy, faux testimonials, a boastful preface, and absurdly detailed terms of sale. Fragments include mock lists of editors and departments, ridiculous delivery and storage schemes, secret-packing forms, and officious warnings that escalate into surreal consequences. The piece lampoons commercial hype, publishing pretension, and bureaucratic pomposity by using hyperbole, formal documents, and comic inversion of practical concerns.

The Editors.

WILLIAM HOHENZOLLERN.

MR. C. F. MOBERLY BELL.

MESSRS. WOOLLAND, BROS.

MR. WILLIAM WHITELEY.

MR. DANIEL LENO.

MESSRS. DERRY & TOMS.

MESSRS. SALMON & GLUCKSTEIN.

MR. ALFRED HARMSWORTH.

BISHOP WELLDON.

DR. GARNETT.

SIR GEORGE NEWNES.

DATAS.

American Editors.

MR. JOHN A. WANAMAKER.

MR. DOOLEY.

BUFFALO BILL.

MRS. EDDY.

MAJOR POND.

Departmental Editors.

FOR OBITUARIES—
Professor Algernon Ashton.

FOR OOLOGY—
Dr. Robertson Nicoll.

FOR NAPOLEON—
Count Balmain Harmsworth.

FOR MUSIC—
Mr. J. P. Sousa.

FOR TOBACCO—
Dr. Barrie.

FOR DRAMA—
Messrs. Klaw and Erlanger.

FOR TRUSTS—
Mr. Pierpont Morgan.

FOR EFFICIENCY—
Mr. Arnold White.

FOR PHILANTHROPY—
Lady Warwick.

FOR DRESS—
Lady Harberton.

FOR MEDICINE—Dr. Williams.

Female Associate Editors.

MRS. KENDAL.

KATE REILY.

MRS. ARIA.

LADY JEUNE.

MADAME SARAH GRAND.

MISS LOUIE FREEAR.

MISS MARIE CORELLI.

Sub-Editors.

THERE ARE TWENTY OF THESE.

Sub-Sub-Editors.

THERE ARE TWENTY OF THESE TOO.

Circular Addresser.

THE EDITOR OF ‘THE SPHERE.’