Wisdom while you wait

Chapter 9: Despatch in Delivery.

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About This Book

A brief satirical miscellany masquerades as promotional material for a ludicrously grand encyclopaedia, blending parodic advertising copy, faux testimonials, a boastful preface, and absurdly detailed terms of sale. Fragments include mock lists of editors and departments, ridiculous delivery and storage schemes, secret-packing forms, and officious warnings that escalate into surreal consequences. The piece lampoons commercial hype, publishing pretension, and bureaucratic pomposity by using hyperbole, formal documents, and comic inversion of practical concerns.

Despatch in Delivery.

Every set sent out within two minutes of receiving the order.

In order to ensure perfect punctuality of delivery, Mr. Automobilé Bell has made arrangements with the Strand Vestry for the use of their 20 H.P. steam traction engine, preceded by a red danger signal, to secure a free field and no favour.

Lord Esher writes: ‘I had hardly turned round after posting my order before my steps were completely congested. Our only exit from the house has since been by means of a fire-escape.’

Dr. Clifford writes: ‘They come up like mushrooms.’