[Japan has 73,759 Buddhist priests, "most of whom," says a
      Christian missionary, "are grossly ignorant, and many of them
      lead scandalous lives."]

  O Buddha, had you but foreknown
    The vices of your priesthood
  It would have made you twist and moan
    As any wounded beast would.
  You would have damned the entire lot
  And turned a Christian, would you not?

  There were no Christians, I'll allow,
    In your day; that would only
  Have brought distinction. Even now
    A Christian might feel lonely.
  All take the name, but facts are things
  As stubborn as the will of kings.

  The priests were ignorant and low
    When ridiculed by Lucian;
  The records, could we read, might show
    The same of times Confucian.
  And yet the fact I can't disguise
  That Deacon Rankin's good and wise.

  'Tis true he is not quite a priest,
    Nor more than half a preacher;
  But he exhorts as loud at least
    As any living creature.
  And when the plate is passed about
  He never takes a penny out.

  From Buddha down to Rankin! There,—
    I never did intend to.
  This pen's a buzzard's quill, I swear,
    Such subjects to descend to.
  When from the humming-bird I've wrung
  A plume I'll write of Mike de Young.