I sat in my corner sipping tea. Being merely a man, middle-aged and something of a misogynist into the bargain, I was aware that as an active, useful force in this situation, I was a negligible quality. But it is interesting to record my impressions of the engagement. It began actively, I believe, when Marcia called Jerry from Una's group and appeared to appropriate him. Jerry looked ill at ease and from the glances he cast in the direction of Channing Lloyd, and the sullen way in which he spoke to Marcia, I think that all was not well with this ill-sorted pair.
I think that Channing Lloyd had for some time been a bone of contention between them and it required little imagination on my part to decide that his presence here today at Marcia's request had broken some agreement between them. Mere surmise, of course, but interesting. Marcia was stubborn and showed her defiance of Jerry's wishes by retaliation at Una's expense. But by this time other people who had come in from the fishing had joined Una's group by the window where the intruder seemed to be oblivious of Marcia and quite in her element. Indeed for the moment Marcia was out of it and her conversation with Jerry having apparently reached an impasse, she rose, leaving the tea-table to Christopher's ministrations and advanced valiantly to the attack.
Una promptly made room for her on the window sill, a wise bit of generalship which forced the enemy at once into polite subterfuge.
"It's so nice to see you, Una dear. How did you manage to escape from all your tiresome work at the Mission?"
"I could do it very nicely this week-end," said Una cheerfully. "Why haven't you been to any of the committee meetings?"
"It has been so warm. And of course while you are in charge we all know that everything must be going right."
"It's kind of you to say so. You know, wonderful things have been happening at the Mission. We're building a day nursery on the next block to help the working women. Jerry has been awfully kind. Of course you knew about it."
"Yes, of course," said Marcia, not turning a hair.
She lied. I knew that Jerry had kept the matter secret even from Marcia. I figured that the revelation must have been something of a shock to one of her intriguing nature, but she covered her grievance skillfully.
"Jerry is very generous," she said sweetly. "Do tell me about it."
Here Jerry blundered in rather sheepishly. "Oh, I say, Una, that's a secret, you know."
"Oh, is it?" said Una innocently. "I can't see why. Marcia knows. Everybody ought to. It was such a splendid thing to do."
"Jerry is so modest," said Marcia.
"The plans are simply adorable," Una went on quickly. "You know, Jerry, we simply had to have that open-air school on the roof. You know, you didn't object—"
"N—no—of course," said Jerry, shifting his feet.
"And the ward for nursing babies—we did put those windows in the west wall. You know we were a little uncertain about that."
"So we were," echoed Jerry dismally.
This was merely the preliminary skirmish with Una's outposts holding their positions close to the enemy's lines. But Marcia was not to be daunted. She opened fire immediately.
"It's simply dear of you, Una, to take so much interest in the work. I'm sure Jerry must have frightful difficulties in managing to spend his income. But to have his oldest friend to help him must relieve him of a tremendous burden of responsibility."
The outposts withdrew to the main line of skirmirshers and there opened fire again, from cover.
"It isn't so much a matter of friendship as of real interest in the needs of the community, you know. Anyone else would do quite as well as I; for instance, you, Marcia."
"But you see," Marcia countered coolly, "I haven't known Jerry nearly so long as you have."
"Haven't you?"
"I don't think so. Have I, Jerry?"
Jerry evaded the issue with some skill.
"Friendships aren't reckoned in terms of time," he put in with a short laugh. "If they were I'd be the most solitary person under the sun."
Marcia merely smiled, saying nothing, and when she joined the talk of another group I saw Una's gaze following her curiously.
She seemed to be able to understand Marcia little better than I did. But in a moment from my seat in the corner just beside them I saw Una look about the room and give a little gasp of pleasure.
"This cabin! Do you remember, Jerry?" she said quietly. "You gave me a cup of tea here and we decided just what you and I were going to do with the wicked world?"
"Oh, don't I? And you told me all about the plague spots?"
"Yes." She gazed out of the window. "You were interesting that day, Jerry."
"Was! I like that."
"So elephantine in your seriousness—"
"Elephantine! Oh, I say—"
"But you were nice. I don't think I've ever liked you so much as then. I think you're really much more interesting when you're elephantine. It was quite glorious the way you were planning to go galumphing over all vice and wickedness."
He shook his head soberly.
"I haven't made good, Una."
"Oh, there's still time. The jungle is still there, but it's an awfully big jungle, Jerry, bigger than you thought."
"Yes—bigger and swampier," he said slowly.
"I think if I could see more of you, Una, I might be better."
"I don't know that I've ever denied you the house," she laughed.
"I—I'm coming soon. But I want you to see my place here—the house, I mean. Couldn't you come with your mother and—and sisters and spend a few days up here?"
"Perhaps it would be time enough for me to answer that question when mother does. I—I am busy, you know."
"Please! And we can have one of our good old chats."
"Yes," and then mischievously, "but you'd better ask Marcia first, don't you think?"
His gaze fell and he reddened.
"I—I don't quite see what Marcia's got to do with it," he muttered.
"Oh, don't you?"
"No."
She smiled and then with a really serious air:
"Well, I do. I'm sorry I intruded, Jerry. I wouldn't have come for the world if I had known—"
"What nonsense you do talk. Promise me you'll come, Una."
"Ask Marcia first."
He laughed uneasily. "What a tease you are!"
"You ought to be very much flattered."
"How?"
"To be worth teasing."
Here they moved slightly away, turning their backs toward me and unfortunately I could hear no more. And so I sat listening to the group around Marcia, who was again enthroned at the tea-table.
I had not met the men, but they were of the usual man-about-town type, "Marcia's ex-es" somebody, I think the mannish Carew girl, amusingly called them. Among them Arthur Colton, married only a year, who already boasted that he was living "the simple double life." Besides the Laidlaws there were the Walsenberg woman, twice a grass widow and still hopeful, and the Da Costa debutante who looked as though butter wouldn't melt in her mouth, giggled constantly and said things which she fondly hoped to be devilish, but which were only absurd. This was the girl, I think, whom Jerry had described as having only five adjectives, all of which she used every minute. Channing Lloyd, a glass of champagne at his elbow, laughed gruffly and filled the room with tobacco smoke. I listened. Small talk, banalities, bits of narrow glimpses of narrow pursuits. I had to admit that Marcia quite dominated this circle, and I understood why. Shallow as she was, she was the only one with the possible exception of Phil Laidlaw who gave any evidence of having done any thinking at all. I might have known as I listened that her conversation had a purpose.
"I claim that obedience to the will of man," Marcia was saying, "has robbed woman of all initiative, all incentive to achievement, all creative faculty, and that only by renouncing man and all his works will she ever be his equal."
"Why don't you renounce 'em then, Marcia?" roared Lloyd, amid laughter.
"I know at least one that I could renounce,' said Marcia, smiling as she lighted a cigarette.
"Me? You couldn't," he returned. "You've tried, you know, but you've got to admit that I'm positively in'spensible to you."
"Do be quiet, Chan. You're idiotic. I'm quite serious."
"You're always serious, but you never mean what you say."
"Oh, don't I?"
"No," he grunted over his glass.
She glanced at him for a moment and their eyes met, hers falling first. Then she turned away. I think that the man's attraction for her was nothing less than his sheer bestiality.
"I believe in a splendid unconventional morality," she went on, musing with half-closed eyes over the ash of her cigarette. "After awhile you men will understand what it means."
"Not I," said Lloyd, who was drinking more than he needed. "If you say that immorality is conventional I'll agree with you, my dear, but morality—" and he drank some champagne, "morality! what rot!"
The others laughed, I'll admit, more at, than with him. But the conversation was sickening enough. I saw Jerry and Una shake hands and come forward and Marcia immediately turned toward them. The end of the battle was not yet, for as Una nodded in the general direction of the group in passing, Marcia spoke her name.
"Ah, Una dear. You're going?"
"I must," with a glance at her wrist watch. "It's getting late."
"What a pity. I wanted to talk to you—about the Mission."
"I'd like to, but—"
"We've just been discussing a theme that I know you're really vitally interested in."
"I?" I could see by the sudden lift of her brows that Una was now on her guard.
"Yes. You believe in women working, in woman's independence, in the New-Thought idea of unconventional morality, don't you?"
"I'm not sure what you mean."
"Simply that women are or should be perfectly capable of looking out for themselves, as much so as men?"
"That depends a great deal upon the woman, I should say," replied Una, smiling tolerantly.
"I was just about to put a hypothetical question. Do you mind listening? A young girl, for instance, pretty, romantic, a trifle venturesome, weary of the banalities of existence, leaves all the tiresome cares of the city and with the wanderlust upon her goes faring forth in search of adventure. A purely hypothetical case, but a typical one. As she wanders through the woods, she comes upon a high stone wall, something like this one of Jerry's, and suddenly remembers that within this wall there lives a young man, beautiful beyond the dreams of the gods. I have said that she is romantic, also venturesome—"
"Her address, please," muttered Lloyd quickly.
"Do be quiet, Chan—" Marcia went on. "Venturesome, modern, moral—"
"It can't be done," muttered the brute again.
"Chan, do be serious. Curiosity overwhelms the girl. Nobody is about. So, putting her fears behind her, she climbs the wall and enters."
The daring impertinence of this recital had stricken Jerry suddenly dumb, but the veins at his temples were swelling with the hot blood that had risen to his face. Una, after a moment of uncertainty, became strangely composed.
"It is a beautiful spot. No one is in sight," Marcia went on amusedly. "The girl ventures further, and finds the beautiful young man catching trout. She talks to him. I think he is amused at her temerity, also perhaps a little flattered at her marks of confidence—"
"Marcia!" It was Jerry's voice, deep, booming, and I had hardly recognized it. But there was a note in it that caused a hush to fall over the room. The girl looked up as though puzzled.
"You interrupt, Jerry—"
"Neither Una nor I are interested in what you're saying," he cried hoarsely, while the rest of the company stared at him.
"I am, Jerry," said Una's voice very coolly. Except for Marcia, perhaps, she was the least ruffled person in the room. "I want very much to hear the rest of the story," she added. "It has possibilities."
Marcia laughed.
"Possibilities, yes. There isn't much left to tell except that the girl spent the afternoon and the evening in the cabin with the beautiful young man and then went over the wall the way she came. Now what I wanted to know, Una dear, is whether you think that morality, conventional or unconventional, can stand a test like that."
Una was silent for a moment and then her words came slowly, rather wistfully.
"Was she a friend of yours?" she asked.
"Oh, yes, a friend."
"And did you know her for any length of time to be honorable, upright, decent?"
"Oh, yes, quite so."
Una paused another moment and when she spoke her voice was crystal-clear.
"Then all I would like to say is that the mind that can conceive of evil in such a piece of innocent imprudence is unclean, beyond words! Is that all that you wanted to know?"
Marcia leaned back in her chair holding her breath for a moment and then broke into a peal of laughter.
"There! You see. I knew you would agree with me."
The people in the room looked from one to the other, aware of a hidden meaning in the situation. Channing Lloyd had paused in the act of pouring out another glass of wine and stood blinking heavily. The only sound was a nervous titter from the Da Costa girl. Una looked around from face to face as though seeking those of her friends and then spoke fearlessly.
"You may not know what this hypothetical question means or its answer?" she said with a smile. "I will tell you. I was that girl. Jerry Benham, the man. The place was here. I am accustomed to going where and with whom I please." She tossed her small head proudly, "Those who can see evil where evil doesn't exist are welcome to their opinions. As for my friends—"
Here a chorus of protest went up, from the treble of the Da Costa girl to Laidlaw's deep bass.
"Una—you silly child—of course no one thinks—"
"As for my friends," she repeated, her voice slightly raised, "I will choose them by this token."
I had not misjudged her. Her scorn of Marcia was ineffable, and I think the girl at the tea-urn had a sense of being at a disadvantage, for the idea of Una's frank admission had never entered Marcia's pretty intriguing head. She was hoist with her own petard and covered her confusion by a light laugh which was most unconvincing.
"Of course, Una, I didn't mean—"
But the rest of her sentence was lost in the sudden disintegration of the party into groups, some of which followed Una to the door. Jerry had regained his senses and strode out after her."
"I'm going with you, Una," I heard him say.
"It isn't necessary. I can find the way. Good-by, everybody. No, thanks, Phil."
But Jerry went on with her and I broke through the sympathetic crowd at the doorway and followed. Like Jerry, I too had been stunned, but unlike Jerry, in the reaction I was finding a secret delight in Una's splendid mastery of the situation. The pair were already far in advance of me, Una hurrying sedately, Jerry, his hands deep in his pockets, striding like a furious young god beside her, earnestly talking. It was not until they heard the sound of my hurrying footsteps that they stopped and turned.
"I can't let you go, Miss Habberton," I said breathlessly, "without letting you know how contrite I am at a slip of the tongue which—"
"It doesn't matter in the least, Mr. Canby. I have nothing to regret." And then, with her crooked little smile, "But you might have omitted the details."
"I—I—" I stammered.
"It was I—I who told—" Jerry blurted out. "I am to blame. Why shouldn't I tell? Was there anything to be ashamed of? For you? For me?"
"No, Jerry. The surest proof of it is that I'm not angry with you—with either of you. But I must be going."
"I'm going with you," said Jerry quickly.
"No."
"Let him, Miss Habberton," I put in.
"I had better go alone."
"I forbid it," said Jerry. "The machine is at the upper gate. I'll drive you. Come."
She hesitated. Our glances met. I think she must have seen the eagerness in my face, the friendliness, the admiration. She read too the revolt in Jerry's eyes, the dawning of something like reason and of his grave sense of the injustice that had been done to her. He pleaded almost piteously—as though her acquiescence were the only sign he could have of her forgiveness.
"Very well," she said at last, "to the station, then."
"No," said Jerry firmly, "to town. I'm going to drive you to town. We've got to have a talk. We've got to—to clear this thing up."
She hesitated again and I think she felt the need of companionship at that moment.
"But your guests—"
"Oh, I'll be here," I said. "They'll be going soon. Jerry can be back in time for the party."
"I'm not going to that party," Jerry muttered savagely.
He meant it. I bade them good-by—watched them until they passed out of sight and hearing, and then sank on a nearby rock, and hugged my knees in quiet ecstasy.
Fortunately for me, neither Jack Ballard nor the expected overflow from the Van Wyck house-party came to disturb the serenity of my thoughts, Jack being suddenly called to Newport, the guests having been taken in elsewhere. So I sat up alone for Jerry until late and finally went to bed, happily conscious that my embassy, impossible as it had seemed, had borne fruit after all. Jerry did not go to Marcia Van Wyck's party, and his evening clothes remained where Christopher had laid them out, on the bed in his room. I gave myself an added pleasure in slumber that night by going in and looking at them before I sought my own room. I cannot remember a night when I have slept more soundly and I rose refreshed and intensely eager to hear how things had gone with Jerry and the dear lady whom I had once so inaptly dubbed "the minx." At the breakfast table Poole informed me that Jerry had returned late to the Manor and was sleeping. It was good. The glimmerings of reason that had appeared in the boy during the last few days had been encouraging, and his open revolt against the enchantress had made me hopeful that her dominion over him was not so complete as it had appeared. Viewed from any angle, the conduct of the Van Wyck girl was reprehensible, and admitted of no excuse. She had overshot the mark and had done her target no harm. However warm her friendship with those of her guests who were at the cabin, the comments I had heard convinced me that Jerry and I were not alone in our condemnation. The attack seemed to savor of a lack of finesse, surprising in a person of her cleverness, for had her bias not been so great she should have known that as a gentleman, Jerry must resent so palpable and designing an insult to a guest at Horsham Manor. Her impudence still astounded me. Did she think herself so sure of Jerry that she chose purposely to try him? Or had the point been reached in their amatory relations where she was quite indifferent as to what Jerry might do?
Smoothly as my plan had worked and happily (or unhappily) as Marcia's pique and ill-humor had fitted into it, I could not believe that Jerry's revolt had ended matters. Even if the boy had been willing to end them (a thing of which I was not at all sure), Marcia Van Wyck was not the kind of girl to retire on this ungraceful climax, and Jerry's absence from her house on so important an occasion was nothing less than a notice to those present that he and Marcia were no longer on terms. I had had a sense of the girl's taste for conquest, and the more I thought of her the surer I was that Jerry's championship of Una Habberton would revive whatever remained of the lingering sparks of Marcia's passion.
Jerry joined me in the study later in the morning and sat for awhile reading the newspapers. He was silent, almost morose, and at last got up and walked about the place. I feared for a moment that he had gone to the garage with the intention of getting into his machine, and this I knew meant nothing less than a ride posthaste, to Briar Hills. But he came back presently in a more cheerful mood and after luncheon suggested fishing, a proposal that I instantly fell in with. And so I followed him up stream, my own humor being merely to carry the net, watch him whip the pools and pray that his luck might be good, for a full creel meant good humor and good humor, perhaps confidences.
Fortune favored. By the time we had gotten up the gorge, Jerry was in high spirits, for luck had crowned his skill and at least a dozen fish lay stiffening in the basket, and when we reached the iron grille Jerry emitted a deep sigh of satisfaction, drew out his pipe and sank on a rock to smoke it. I lay back beside him, my hat over my eyes. Nothing stimulates confidences so much as indifference. Jerry glanced at me once or twice, but I made no sign and after awhile he began talking. Whenever he paused I put in a grunt which encouraged him to go on. That is how I happened to hear about Jerry's ride home with Una Habberton.
It seems that when they got into the machine Una was very quiet and answered his questions only in mono-syllables, but Jerry was patient and all idea of Marcia's party being out of his head, he drove slowly so that he would not reach the city until everything was clear and friendly between them again. Her profile was very sober and demure, he said. He wasn't quite sure for a long time whether she was going to burst into anger, tears, or to laugh. Jerry must have looked sober too and for awhile it couldn't have been a very cheerful ride, but at last the boy saw Una looking at him slantwise and when he turned toward her she burst into the merriest kind of a laugh.
"Oh, Jerry, is it home you're driving me to, or just a funeral?"
He gasped in relief at her sudden change of mood. "I was just waiting," he said quietly. "I didn't want to intrude, Una."
"But you do look so like the undertaker's assistant," she smiled. "You have no right to be glum. I have. I'm the corpse. A corpse might laugh in sheer relief when the lid was screwed down and everything comfortable."
"Una! I don't see anything so funny—"
"My reputation! A trifling thing," she said coolly, "still, I value it."
"Your reputation! That's absurd—nothing could hurt you. I don't understand."
"I can't quite see yet how it all came out," she went on thoughtfully, "how Marcia knew that I had been inside the wall. Why, Jerry, unless she learned it recently, since I saw you in New York—" she paused.
"No," protested Jerry uncomfortably. "It was last summer—"
"But I had no name to you then—I was merely Una—"
"And I blurted it out, Una, the only name I knew, never thinking that you and Marcia were acquaintances."
"Oh, I see," and she smiled a little. "If my name had been plain Jane or even Mary, my reputation would have been safe."
"What rubbish, Una! Can't a fellow and a girl have a chat without—"
"Yes, but the girl mustn't get through eight-foot walls."
"I don't see what difference that makes." She must have given him a swift glance here. But she laughed again. "You evidently don't realize, Jerry, that monasteries are supposed to be taboo for young girls."
"Yes, but you didn't know about it being a monastery," he said seriously.
"Of course, or I shouldn't have dared. But that makes no difference to Marcia. I was there. You told her. Don't you know, Jerry, that it isn't good form to tell everything you know?"
"She guessed it," he muttered. "It's such a lot of talk about nothing." I think Jerry was getting a little warm now. "Suppose you were in there, whose affair is it but yours and mine?"
"Everybody's," she shrugged. "Everybody's business! That ought to be inscribed on the tombstone of every dead reputation. Hic jacet Una Habberton. Nice girl, but she would visit monasteries."
But nothing was humorous to Jerry's mood just then.
"I can't have you talking like that, Una," he said in a suppressed tone. "It's very painful to me. I can't imagine why anyone should try to injure you. They couldn't, you know. You're above all that sort of thing. It's too trivial—"
"Oh, is it? You'll see. All New York will have the story in twenty-four hours. Pretty sort of a tale to get to the Mission! The Mission! If those people heard! Imagine the embroideries! I could never lift my head down there again."
"Let the world go hang. Have you anything to be ashamed of, Una?"
"No."
"Nor I. Very well."
The seriousness that Una attached to the affair, while it bewildered, also inflamed him. "I wish it had been a man who had talked to you the way Marcia did."
Una turned toward him soberly.
"What would you do to him, Jerry?"
He smiled grimly. "I think I'd kill him," he said softly.
I think Jerry's tone must have comforted her, for he said that after that Una grew quieter.
"The world is very intolerant of idyls, Jerry."
They had reached a road which overlooked the river. Long, cool shadows brushed their faces as they rushed on from orchard to meadow, all redolent of sweet odors.
"Why?"
"Because they're a reproach."
"Friendship is no idyl, Una, with us. It's more like reality, isn't it?"
"I hope so."
"Don't you believe it?"
"Yes, I think I do."
He smiled at her gayly.
"I'm sure of it. I'm always myself with you, Una. I seem to want you to know all the things I'm thinking about. That's the surest indication, isn't it? And I want to know what you're thinking about. I feel as though I'd given you too many additional burdens down town, that you may tire this summer."
"Oh, you needn't worry. I'm quite strong."
"I want you to lay out some definite work that I can do, not merely giving money, but myself, my own strength and energy." He laughed. "You know I'm really thinking of asking you to establish a mission for men only, with me as the first patient. It does seem to straighten me out somehow, just being with you—keeps me from thinking crooked."
"Do you think crooked, Jerry?"
"Yes, often. Things bother me. Then I'm like a child. You've no idea of the vast abyss of my ignorance."
"But you mustn't think crooked. I won't have it."
"I can't help it, sometimes. People aren't always what you expect 'em to be. I ought to understand better by this time, but I don't."
"People aren't like books, Jerry. You're sure of books. But with people, you can turn the same page again and again and the printing is different every time."
"People do change, don't they?"
"Yes, and the pages are rather smudgy here and there, but you'll learn to read them some day. The office will help you, Jerry, because business people have to think straight or be repudiated. You ought to go to the office every day and work—work whether you like it or not. You've got too much money. It's dangerous. You're like a colt just out in the pasture, all hocks and skittishness. Work is the only thing for that. It may be tiresome but you've got to stick at it if it kills you."
"I suppose you're right," he muttered.
"Jerry," she went on rapidly, and I think with a twinkle of mischief in her eye, "all of us have streaks of other people in us. I have, lots of 'em. Sometimes I wonder which part of me is other people and which is me. I think you've even got more different kinds of people in you than I have. Students, philosophers, woodsmen, prize fighters—"
"Una!"
"I must. Everything, almost everything you've been and done I like except—"
"Oh, don't Una—"
"I've got to. You wanted to clear things up between us. That's one of the things we've got to clear up. I don't understand the psychology of the prize ring and I'm not sure that I'd care to understand it. I know that you are strong in body. You should be glad of that, but not so glad as to be vain of it. One doesn't boast of the gifts of the gods. One merely accepts them, thankfully—"
"I was a fool—"
"Say rather, merely an animated biped, an instinct on legs. Is that a thing to be proud of—for a man who knows what real ideals are?"
"Don't—"
"Did you discuss Shakespeare and the musical glasses with 'Kid' Spatola?"
"Please!"
"Or the incorporeal nature of the soul with Battling Sagorski?"
"Una!" Her irony was biting him like acid.
"Or did Sagorski make you an accessory before the fact of his next housebreaking expedition?"
"Una, that isn't fair. Sagorski is—"
"He's a second-story man, Jerry, with a beautiful record. Shall I give it to you?"
"Er—no, thanks," gasped Jerry breathlessly. "I can't believe—"
"You missed nothing at the house?"
She waited for his reply.
"I'm not sure who took them—"
"But you did miss—?"
"Yes, spoons, forks and things—" He broke off exasperated. "Oh, Una, it's cruel of you?"
"No, kind. Sagorski is a smudgy page, Jerry. I happened to have seen it in the records. And there's a woman at the Mission—"
It was Una's turn to pause in sudden solemnity.
"A woman. His wife?" asked Jerry.
"No, just a woman."
"He had treated her badly?"
"Her soul," she replied slowly, "is dead. Her body doesn't matter."
She must have been thankful for the silence that followed? for the look of bewilderment, piteous, I think, it must now have seemed to Una, was in his face again. And before he could question further she had turned the topic.
A little later, I think, personalities began again.
"You're always helping people, Una, always helping," he said slowly. "Does it make you happy?"
"Yes, if I can help."
"And you want to help me? I wonder if I'm worth it."
"Yes, I wouldn't bother if you weren't."
"And how do you know I'm worth it?"
"It's my business to know," she said.
Jerry sent the car spinning joyously down a fine stretch of straight empty road. And then when he had reduced the car to a slower pace,
"You know, Una," he laughed, "you do take charge of a fellow, don't you?"
"You need 'mothering'," she smiled.
"Or sistering. I wish I had a sister like you. Fellows ought to have sisters, anyway. People ought to be born in pairs, male and female."
She laughed and then with sudden seriousness:
"But people ought to stand on their feet. All the 'sistering' in the world won't help a lame man to walk."
"I'm not so awfully lame, am I?"
"No. Just limpy. But don't try to run yet, Jerry."
"Oh, I say—"
"Just keep your eyes open. You'll see." And then quietly, "You know Phil Laidlaw, don't you?"
"Oh, yes, fine chap."
"I think it wouldn't harm you to know Phil better. He isn't brilliant, but he's steady, sure, reliable. And he stands on his feet, Jerry, on both of them."
Jerry's comment to me in telling this part of the conversation was amusing. "Phil Laidlaw is a good fellow and all that," he muttered, "but hang it all, Roger, you can't stomach having another man's virtues thrust down your throat!"
My own comment may be interesting.
"I don't wonder that she cares for him," I said. "A good match, I should say."
"H—m," replied Jerry. "I can't seem to think of Una married to anybody. She's so much occupied—"
"But she will be married some day, my boy. Charity begins at home."
She had used her woman's weapons loyally, at least. I think her comments on Laidlaw must have made Jerry silent for awhile and he told me little of the conversation that followed. But they must have "cleared up" all the things that stood between them. I think the subsequent conversation must have been largely pleasant and personal, for Jerry spoke of the wonderful weather and how Una admired the view they had of the great river from Hoboken with the lights of the towers of Manhattan, like the sparks of some mighty fire, hanging midway in the air.
I was silent when he had concluded. Evidently he wanted me to say something, for he looked at me once or twice as he was refilling his pipe. But I was thinking deeply.
"She's a wonder," he said after awhile. "You know the committee of ladies that's supposed to manage things down town have all gone away, leaving the whole responsibility to Una—the plans, specifications, business arrangements and all."
"As Marcia suggested," I replied, "they're sure that matters are in good hands."
"Yes, she's so sane. That's it. You know when we got to town I took dinner with the family down in Washington Square. Jolly lot of girls, like stair-steps, from eight to eighteen, but not a bit like Una, Roger, and the mother, placid, serene, intelligent with a dignity that seems to go with the house and neighborhood—a dear old lady, not so terribly old, either, and astonishingly well informed—Fine old house, refreshing, cool, mellow with age and decent associations; none of your Louis Quinze business there. I always wondered where Una got her poise. Now I know."
"Had you never called there before?" I asked when he paused to light his pipe.
"No, I always went to her office in the Mission and had her in a different setting, a bare room, desk, filing-cases, placards on the wall, scrupulously neat and business-like, but uncompromising, Roger, and severe. The house makes a better frame for her somehow—"
I knew what he meant, for I had seen her in it, but of course was silent.
"She's doing a tremendous work down town. She is the Mission. The superintendent and nurses idolize her. I was questioning her mother about it. Una has a way with her. The women that come there have to be handled carefully, it seems. I'm afraid they're a bad lot, though Una won't talk about 'em. She says I wouldn't understand. I suppose I wouldn't. I've never learned much about women yet, Roger. Funny, too. They seem so easy to understand, and yet they're not. It's the men that bring the women down—ruin them, but I can't see why it couldn't just as well be the other way about. Men are weak, too; why are the men always blamed? That's what I want to know, and what does it all mean? I suppose I'm awfully ignorant. Things go in one ear and out the other without making any impression. I lack something. It's the way I'm made. I've missed something, of the meaning of life, I suppose, because I've lived it all with so few people, you, Una, Uncle Jack—Flynn and the boys—"
"And Marcia," I put in suggestively.
He ignored my remark.
"Most chaps I've met seem to take so much of my knowledge for granted. The boys at Flynn's puzzled me, their strange phrases, hinting at hidden vices, but I wasn't going to question them. It's up to you, Roger. I want to know. What is this threat to Una's reputation when Marcia tells of our meeting here alone?"
As I remained resolutely silent, Jerry got up and paced with long strides up and down before me.
"Why shouldn't she and I meet here alone if we want to? And why these absurd restrictions surrounding the life of girls? I've accepted them, as I accept my morning coffee, because they're there. But what do they mean? I know that a girl is more delicate than a boy, a being to be sheltered and cared for; that seems natural. I accept that. But it goes too far. Una does what she pleases. Why shouldn't she? What is the meaning of unconventional morality? And why unconventional? Is morality so vague a term that there can be any sort of doubt as to its real meaning? And is Una any the less moral because she chooses to be unconventional? Una! I'd stake my life on her morality and innate refinement. No girl sacrifices her youth in the interests of others less fortunate than herself without being fine clear through. Then what did Marcia mean? And what could Una mean when she said her reputation was in danger? The very thought of my having harmed her, even by imputation, in the minds of others makes me desperately unhappy. And what, what on earth could Marcia suspect of me or of Una to place us both in so false a light? What could Marcia mean in speaking in that way about Una's visit here when she herself came—" He bit the word off abruptly and came to a stop. Some instinct—some baser instinct that Marcia was a part of, made frankness impossible. I could have finished his sentence for him but I didn't. Instead, I rose suddenly to a sitting posture, my tongue loosened.
"Bah!" I muttered. "The spleen of a jealous woman; it stops nowhere—at nothing!"
"But what was there in the story," he persisted, "to cause so much tension? I felt it in the air, Roger. It was in the looks of those about me, in Una's face. She was troubled. I had to speak."
"You did well, Jerry. You had to speak—to defend her—"
"Against what?"
"The results of her own imprudence," I said slowly, feeling my way with difficulty. "Una's visits here and at the cabin were not what are called conventional."
"Conventional! Perhaps not. But where does the question of morality come in?" he went on boring straight at the mark.
"It doesn't," I remarked calmly. "It seems to me that Una's reply was quite clear upon that point."
He frowned. "Yes, but she said that Marcia's mind wasn't clean, or that's what she meant. That's a terrible thing to say and Una shouldn't have said it. She shouldn't have, Roger."
"She had to defend herself," I muttered. "That's the privilege of the poorest beast of the woods."
"Yes," he said slowly, "but it has upset me, given me a new view of things, of women, of life. What is this terrible thing that threatens them, that they fear and court at the hands of men? They act it in their advances and sudden defenses. I've learned that much—Even Una—Why, Roger, there's something that they're more jealous of than they are of life itself. Reputation! That's what Una called it. Una—who's giving up her life to try to make people better! If a girl like Una has to defend herself, then the world is a rotten place and Marcia—"
"And Marcia—"
He walked up and down again muttering.
"She has gone too far, Roger—too far." He paused before me.
"But you haven't answered my questions," he said flatly.
"You've hardly given me time," I said with a smile.
To be truthful, I did not propose to answer them. Aside from a curious shyness born of our long and innocent intimacy which made frankness now seem a violation of the precedent of years, I found that the desire was born in me, born anew with Jerry's awakening consciousness, to stand by my guns, and await the results of his lessons from the world. He must solve the riddle of the Great Experiment alone.
"You haven't answered my questions, Roger," he insisted.
I was unjointing Jerry's rod with scrupulous care.
"I'm not going to," I said quietly.
"You—?" He examined me with a curious expression. "Who else should I go to if not to you?"
I paused a long moment, during which he scraped at the moss with the toe of his boot.
"My dear Jerry," I said. "I am more than convinced since the period of your probation has passed that my mission at Horsham Manor is ended. I was brought here to bring you to manhood with the things that were requisite as well for the body as the soul. I thought I had acquitted myself with tolerable success in obeying the desires of your dead father. But once freed from my influence you took the bit in your teeth and ran the race in your own way. I gave you advice but you wouldn't take it. If you had listened then, I could have helped you now. But you didn't listen. And if I were to warn you, to answer your questions, you wouldn't heed me now. Experience is the great teacher. Seek it. I'm through."
He reddened and took a turn up and down.
"Do you mean that?"
"I do. I meddle with your personal affairs no longer. If I did I should begin at once—" I paused, for an attack on Marcia Van Wyck was trembling at the top of my tongue. "But there—you see we should only quarrel. I don't like your friends. We couldn't agree—"
"You like Una."
"Yes, unqualifiedly. She is one in a million."
"Well, we're agreed on that at least," he said smiling.
There was another silence in which Jerry puffed on his unlighted pipe.
"You know I've invited Una and her mother up here this week and what's better still, they're coming."
This was excellent news. To me it meant that Una thought the boy worth saving from himself and now proposed to carry the war into the enemy's country.
"I'm delighted," I said briefly.
"So am I," he returned thoughtfully. He scraped his pipe, filled it slowly and when it was lighted again, settled down comfortably.
"I think Una has wakened me, Roger. The force of her example is tremendous, her life, her way of thinking of things, her cheerfulness, hopefulness about everybody. I can't make out why Marcia should attack her so unjustly. It wasn't fair."
"It was cattish."
"I don't like your saying that," he put in quickly.
"I'm sorry. Can you imagine Una doing a similar thing?"
"No," he admitted, "but Una has been brought up differently."
Another silence. In spite of the recrudescence of Una we were on dangerous ground. But hope had given me temerity. In another moment he was back to the earlier questions.
"I see no reason why you shouldn't answer me, Roger. I've got to know what all this trouble means. If Una has been imprudent I want to know why, still more so, if she is to suffer as a consequence of it. If Marcia's insinuations are cruel I've got to understand what they mean."
"You may take my word for their cruelty," I said dryly and stopped with compressed lips. He clasped his hands over his knees and looked down into the pool before us.
"Do you think you're quite fair with me, Roger? I give you my confidences and you refuse—"
"Half-confidences, Jerry. My usefulness to you is ended. If you would speak, I could perhaps help you, solve some of your problems, answer your questions. But—"
I paused, throwing out my hands in a helpless gesture.
"What more do you want?" he asked.
I took the bull by the horns. I had wanted to for weeks.
"Freely, unreservedly, the nature of your relations with Marcia Van Wyck—"
He rose suddenly, his face flushing darkly and took up his rod and creel.
"If you don't mind my saying so," he muttered, "that is none of your affair."
I rose, though his reproach stung me bitterly.
"Confidences and advice are inseparable," I said coldly.
"You hate Marcia," he mumbled.
"I do."
"Why?"
"Because she's unsound, unsafe, im—"
"Be careful!" he cried.
I shrugged but was silent, I think, from the fear of Jerry's fists which were clenching his rod and creel ominously.
"She's the woman I love," he declared with pathetic drama.
I braved the fists and laughed.
"Tush!" I said.
He was furious. For a moment I thought he was going to strike me. Had he done so I should have been ended there and then, and this interesting history brought to an untimely conclusion on the very eve of its most interesting disclosures.
But he thought better of it and with a shaking forefinger pointed toward the path downstream. "Go, Roger," he said in a trembling voice, "please go."
I obeyed. There was nothing left for me to do. Our afternoon had ended in disaster, but I was not sorry. I had thought from all Jerry had told me that he was beginning to awaken, to rouse himself and tear asunder the web of enchantment that this girl Marcia had woven about him. I had meant to help him lift the veil to let him see her as she was, a beautiful, selfish little sensualist with a silken voice and an empty heart. But the time was not yet. I sighed, lamenting my failure but not regretting my temerity. If he would not waken at least I had the satisfaction of knowing it was not because I had not tried to wake him.
I made my way down over the rocks, casting a glance over my shoulder toward Jerry as I descended. He was following slowly, his hands behind him, his head down, the pipe hanging bowl downward in his teeth. There was anger in his appearance but there was something of reflection, too. Down on a lower level where the going was easier I paused, deliberating whether I shouldn't put my pride in my pocket and braving rebuffs, wait for him. I had half decided to choose this ignominious course when in the path ahead of me at some distance away I espied a figure walking toward me. I was deep in the shadow and the person, a female, had not espied me, but I could see her quite clearly in the sunlight. There was no mistaking her curious gait. It was Marcia Van Wyck, come at pains which must convince of her contrition, to make peace with Jerry.
I looked again to be sure that my eyes had not deceived me and then jumped into the underbrush beside the path and hid myself under a projection of nearby rock. I disliked the girl intensely and hated the sight of her, and this must, I suppose, account for the sudden impulse which led to my undignified retreat. Had I known in advance of the unfortunate situation in which it would have placed me, I should have faced her boldly or have fled miles away from that spot, to be forever associated in my mind with the one really discreditable experience of my career. I have always been, I think, an honorable man and such a paltry sin as eavesdropping had always been beneath me, save on the one occasion when my duty as Jerry's guardian prompted me to listen for a few moments at the cabin window last year when Una and Jerry were settling between them the affairs of the world. That was a pardonable transgression, this, a different affair, for Jerry was now released from my guardianship, a grown man ostensibly capable of managing his own affairs, which, as he had some moments before taken pains to inform me, were none of mine.
But as luck would have it, the girl walking upstream and Jerry walking down, they met in the path just beside the rock behind which I was so uncomfortably reclining and scarcely daring to breathe. I could not see their faces as they came together, but I heard their voices quite Distinctly.
"Marcia!" said Jerry, it seemed a trifle harshly. "What are you doing here?"
With my vision obstructed, the soft tones of her voice seemed to take an added significance.
"I came," she purred, "because, Jerry, I couldn't stay away."
And then, after a pause, her voice even more silken, "You don't seem very glad to see me."
"I—I—your appearance surprised me."
"But now that the surprise is over—are you glad to see me?" she asked.
A pause and then I heard him mutter.
"I didn't suppose that—after yesterday you would want to see me."
"Yesterday," she sighed, "twenty-four hours—an age! The surest proof that I wanted to see you is that I'm here, that I ran away from a house full of people, just to tell you—"
"Is Channing Lloyd still there?" he broke in harshly.
"Yes, Jerry, he is. But doesn't it mean anything to you that I left him, to come to you?"
"You broke your promise—to give him up—"
"Why, Jerry, I had to invite him to my dance. It would have been a slight."
"But you promised. He's a—"
"But I've known him for ages, Jerry. I can't be impolite."
"He's not polite to you, to me, or anybody. I told you I wanted you to give him up."
"You're fearfully exacting," she said, modulating her voice softly.
"He's a cad. I can't understand your inviting him. His very look is an insult, his touch a desecration. I don't like the way he paws you."
"Of course, he—he means nothing by it," she said soothingly. "It's only his way."
"But I don't like his way and I don't like him. I've told you so a good many times."
"You make it very difficult for me. It would have been insulting not to have asked him. We've been very good friends until you came."
"It's a pity I came, then. You've got to choose between us. I've told you that before."
"Why, Jerry, I have chosen," she said, her voice softening suspiciously. "How could I ever think of anybody else now that I have you? It's so absurd of you to be jealous of Chan. He's not like you, of course, and his manner is a little rough, but he really isn't nearly so terrible a person as you think he is." She sighed. "But if you insist, I suppose I shall have to give him up."
"Is it painful to you?" he muttered.
She laughed. "You silly boy, of course not. I will give him up. There! Does that settle that matter?"
"I thought it was settled before."
"It was—but—" She paused.
"I don't see how you could want to be with a man I don't like—"
"I don't care for him, Jerry, really I don't. Won't you believe me?"
"I'll believe you when you give him up."
She sighed again, her voice breaking effectively.
"Oh, dear! Do you want me to give up all my friends? And is it quite fair?"
"I haven't asked you to give up any of your friends, but Lloyd—"
Well, I've given him up, Jerry. I'll send him home tonight. Don't let's think of him any more. I can't stand having anything come between us again. I can't, Jerry. It makes me so unhappy. I've been wretched since yesterday about Una. That's why I came. I wanted you to know how sorry I am that I spoke to Una the way I did."
"Are you, Marcia?" His voice had softened suddenly and from the shuffling of his feet I think he took a pace toward her.
"Yes, Jerry dear, contrite. I simply couldn't let another hour pass without coming to ask your forgiveness."
He was weakening. Perhaps his arm was around her. I don't know, but his silence was ominous.
"I have been so miserable," she murmured. "My conscience has troubled me terribly. Oh, I can't tell you how I have suffered. All the evening I thought you would come. I waited for you; I went out on the terrace a hundred times, watching for the lights of your car; but you didn't come, you didn't come, Jerry, and I knew how terribly I had offended you."
I couldn't see her but I'm sure she was wringing her pretty white hands. Jerry must have been deeply moved for his voice was shaky.
"It didn't matter about me, but a visitor, a guest at Horsham Manor, Marcia, a friend—!"
"A friend, yes. Oh, I've been so unhappy about it all—so miserably wretched."
Her voice broke and she seemed upon the point of tears.
"Why did you, Marcia? Why did you?" he repeated.
"I—I—" She appeared to break down and weep and Jerry's voice took on a tone of distress.
"Don't, Marcia, please!"
"I—I'm trying not to—but—" and she wept anew.
"Come," said Jerry's voice. "Sit here a moment. I'm sure it can all be explained. It makes me very unhappy to see you so miserable."
They moved nearer and she sat upon the very rock beneath which I lay among the mouldy leaves; so near that I could have reached out and touched the girl's silken ankle with my fingers. Jerry, I think, still stood.
"I don't want to—to make you unhappy," she said in a moment. "And it was all my fault, but I just couldn't—couldn't stand it, Jerry."
"Stand what?"
A pause and then in muffled tones.
"Don't you know? Don't you really understand?"
"No. I—"
"I was mad," she whispered, "mad with jealousy of Una. She was your first love, your first—"
"Marcia! You mustn't. It's absurd."
"No, no," she protested. "I know. Ever since I first learned that she had—had been in here with you, I—I haven't been able to get her out of mind—I may have appeared to, but I'm not one who forgets things easily; and to meet her at the cabin, the very place where I thought I should—should have you all to myself—it was too much. Jerry. I couldn't stand it. Something—something in me rebelled. I grew cold all over and hard against all the world, even you."
"But this was foolish of you. Una, a friend. Surely there was no harm in my seeing her here?"
"It was foolish," there was a slight change in the intonation of her voice here, "but I know the world so much better than you, Jerry. Girls are so designing, so—so untrustworthy."
"You don't know Una if you say that," said Jerry loyally.
"Perhaps I don't. I don't wish to think badly of anyone you call a friend but Una is so—er—so independent—so accustomed to moving with queer people—" She paused a moment again to give her insinuation weight. "I don't know," she sighed. "I thought all sorts of horrible things about you."
"Horrible! How? Why?"
"Oh, Jerry. Think for a moment. It was natural in me, wasn't it? If I hadn't been jealous of you I couldn't have loved you very much, could I?"
"But horrible thoughts! I don't understand. You might think that there was something between Una and me if you chose to be suspicious, but to think unpleasant things of her, I can't see—"
"You're making it very difficult for me—you're so strange," she murmured. "Isn't it something that I've lowered my pride to the earth in coming here to you? That I've given up Chan? That I'm pleading to you for forgiveness?"
"It is, of course. I do forgive you," he murmured
"Oh, Jerry, if you knew how I had longed to hear you say that—if you knew!"
All this while Jerry had been standing beside her in the path while the girl sat on the rock. I could tell this from the sounds of their voices. In spite of her accents of endearment, notes which she played with the deftest touch, I could understand that Master Jerry was still a little upon his dignity.
"I do forgive you," he repeated, "but I don't just know what your insinuations meant, Marcia."
"Insinuations! Oh, Jerry!"
"Well, what were they? You didn't accuse Una of anything, or me. But you meant something—something unpleasant. Una was very much disturbed—"
"Oh, she was?" No self-control could have concealed the tiny note of exultation.
"Yes, disturbed and angry. What did you mean, Marcia?"
There was an effective pause. What grimaces she was making for his benefit I'm sure I can't imagine, but I hope they were worthy of her talents.
"Poor, dear Jerry!" she sighed. "You're so innocent. I sometimes wonder whether you're really as innocent as you seem."
"I'm innocent of wronging Una," he said with some spirit.
She couldn't restrain a short laugh at the ingenuousness of the remark and its tone.
"There are ways and ways of wronging girls, Jerry," she said slowly. I couldn't see her face, of course, but I knew that her eyes must have been searching him sidelong under their lashes with peculiar avidity. "Of course, I don't say that there was anything wrong, but you'll admit that Una's hunting you out the way she did was most imprudent."
"No, I don't admit it," said Jerry. "If Una was imprudent, so are you, here, today."
"Jerry!" The girl started up, one of her tall French heels within reach of my fingers. If her heel had been her vulnerable spot I must have struck it at once, like a viper.
Jerry apparently stood his ground, for the image of Una must have still been fresh in his memory.
"What is the difference, Marcia?" he asked calmly. "Will you tell me? Do you think I could hurt you?"
She sank upon the rock again, her tone almost too plaintive.
"You're hurting me now, Jerry—terribly."
"I can't see—"
"That you can't see any difference, between my being here—and Una's."
His voice fell a little.
"Of course, there's a difference. Una is a friend and you—why Marcia—" and he came near her, "of course there's all the difference in the world in that way. You're the girl I—I love."
"Jerry!" she whispered.
I was miserable. It was nauseating. Fate was surely unkind to me.
"But I want to be just," he went on clearly. "And I want you to be just. I surely couldn't harm Una any more than I could you."
"Oh, Jerry; I'm sure you kissed her."
"No. Why should I?"
"Because, I thought she might have asked you to."
"She didn't. I suppose it hadn't occurred to her. I'm not much at kissing, Marcia. It's rather meaningless if you don't love a person, isn't it? Kissing ought to be a kind of sacrament. It's a symbol. It must mean something. At least that's the way it seems to me. The girl one loves, Marcia, you—"
He was very close to her now and I think his arms encircled her, for I heard her whisper "Kiss me, Jerry! Kiss me!"
I must have deserved this punishment. Aside from the unhappy nature of my feelings, I was suffering severe bodily discomfort from some small object, a stone, I think, pressed against my ribs. I moved slightly and there was a resounding crackle of broken twigs. The silken foot beside me started suddenly.
"What was that?" whispered the girl.
"Oh," said Jerry, "merely a squirrel or—or a chipmunk." And then more convincingly, "Yes, I think it was a chipmunk."
I held my breath in an agony of apprehension, expecting each second to be hauled out of my retreat by Jerry's muscular hand on my collar, and it was therefore with a feeling of manifest relief that I heard their conversation resumed.
"I'm so glad you think a kiss is a sacrament," she murmured. "It should be—shouldn't it?—a pledge," and then, "But that was such a light one, Jerry—"
He kissed her again. There was a long silence—long. She had won.
"Oh, Jerry," she sighed at last, "it is so sweet. You have never kissed me like that before. Why, what is the matter?"
Jerry, it seemed, had risen suddenly. "I—I mustn't, Marcia. I mustn't. It is sweet—but—but terrible. I can't tell you—"
"Terrible, Jerry?"
"Yes, I can't explain. It's a kind of profanation—your sanctity. I don't know. It makes me deliriously happy and—horribly miserable."
"But I am yours, Jerry, yours, do you understand? And if I like you to kiss me—"
"I mustn't, Marcia, not here."
He was very much disturbed. "Marcia!" he said in a suppressed tone as he came quickly to her again. "Was that what you meant—was that why you asked me if I'd kissed Una?"
"I merely wanted—"
"I didn't," he broke in impetuously. "No, no, I didn't. Why, Marcia, it wouldn't have been possible—we were merely friends. Don't think I've ever kissed Una, and don't ever believe she would let me. She wouldn't. She's not in love with me. She wouldn't let me, if I wanted to."
"And you don't want to?"
"No, no. I never think about her in that way. I can't. She's different from you. You allure me. It's subtle. I can't explain. I want to take you in my arms and yet I don't dare, for fear that I may crush you. I might, Marcia. I'm afraid. Just now, the thought of my strength frightened me. Don't let me kiss you like that again, Marcia."
"I'm not afraid," I heard her whisper. "Kiss me again, Jerry."
But he didn't. Apparently he still stood before her at a distance, fearsome of he knew not what.
"Jerry!" she murmured again, in a little tone of petulance.
"Marcia, we—we should be going on," he muttered.
"Ah, Jerry, not yet," she sighed. "Isn't it wonderful that there's no quarrel between us? Just you and I, Jerry, here, alone, like the first man and woman—alone in the world. There's no man in it but you, no woman but me, we're mated, Jerry, like the birds. Don't you hear them singing? The woods are alive with songs of love. And you, Jerry, you stand there staring at me with those great, timid eyes of yours. Why do you stare at me so? Are you frightened? I think that I am stronger than you. It is love that makes me strong. Come to me, Jerry. Kiss me, again."
"Marcia!" he gasped. And then another silence.
"I mustn't."
"I love you, Jerry."
"Will you marry me? Tomorrow!"
"Marriage, Jerry? Yes, some day—"
"Tomorrow—!"
"Aren't you satisfied—with this? The wonder of it."
"But I have no right. I can't explain. It's desecration!"
"A sacrament!" she said.
"A sacrament!"
"You said so."
"Not this, Marcia. A sacrament should be gentle. I want to be gentle in my thoughts of you. But I can't, not now. I could strangle you if you let another man do this, and kill—"
"I love you—when you talk like that. Strangle me if you like, kill me, I'm yours—"
I think that to Marcia, this was the greatest moment of her strange passion. Fear was its dominant motive, Jerry's innocence its inspiration. If he had crushed the breath from her body, I think she would have died rapturously. But Jerry, it seems, tore himself from her and moved some distance away, I think, his head bent into the hollow of his arm, torn between his emotions. I would have given all that I possessed on earth to have caught a glimpse of her face at that moment. Flushed with victory of course—but passion—Bah! I couldn't believe her capable of it. If she had been wholly animal I might have forgiven her everything. But the impression had grown in me with the minutes that all this like everything else she did was false—false penitence, false contrition, false tears, false love and now false passion. She was a mere shell, a beautiful shell in which one hears the faint murmurs of sweet music, echoes of sounds which might have been but were not. These were the sounds that Jerry heard, echoes of some earlier incarnation in which spiritual beauty had been his fetich. And now, he stood apart, broken, miserable.
"Jerry," I heard her call again softly, "I am not afraid."
That was it. I understood now. What she loved was fear. But Jerry would not come back. I heard his voice faintly.
"We must go, Marcia."
"Why?"
"I have learned; we have no right here—alone, you and I. It's what—what you accused Una of."
"But you and I—Jerry! Am I not different from Una? I have rights. She has none. I've given them to you, and you to me."
"You will marry me, soon?"
"Not if you're going to be so—so—er—inhospitable."
He came forward quickly.
"You know I don't mean that. Would you have me less considerate of your reputation, your peace of mind, than I am of Una's? I want you to understand how deeply I respect you—that I want to treat you with tenderness, with delicacy, with gentle devotion."
I heard her sigh. I'm sure if Jerry's back had been turned she must have yawned. She rose and I heard her slow footsteps join his.