PIKE

[in the voice of a convalescent]

I never had any business to leave Indiana!

VASILI

I am sorry, my friend.

[PIKE takes another large forkful of caviar.]

VASILI

[observing this]

But I thought you did not like the caviar?

PIKE

It's to take away the taste of the vodka.

VASILI

[laughing]

I lift my hat to you.

PIKE

You never worked on a farm in your own country, Doc?

VASILI

That has been denied me.

PIKE

I expect so. Talk about things to drink! Harvest-time, and the women folks coming out from the house with a two-gallon jug of ice-cold buttermilk!

[Sets down the glass and whistles softly with delight.]

[HORACE shows increasing signs of annoyance.]

VASILI

You still enjoy those delights?

PIKE

Not since I moved up to our county-seat ten years ago and began to practice law. Things don't taste the same in the city.

VASILI

You do not like your city?

VASILI

And your people?

PIKE

The best on earth. Out my way folks are neighbors.

[HORACE snaps his paper sharply.]

VASILI

But you have no leisure class.

[VASILI is looking keenly at HAWCASTLE and HORACE as he speaks.]

PIKE

Got a pretty good-sized colored population.

VASILI

I mean no aristocracy—no great old families such as we have, that go back and back to the Middle Ages.

PIKE

[genially]

Well, I expect if they go back that far they might just as well set down and stay there. No, sir, the poor in my country don't have to pay taxes for a lot of useless kings and earls and first grooms of the bedchamber and second ladies in waiting, and I don't know what all. If anybody wants our money for nothin' he has to show energy enough to steal it. I wonder a man like you doesn't emigrate.

VASILI

Bravo!

HORACE

This fellow is distinctly of the lower orders. We should cut him as completely in the States as here.

VASILI

I wonder you make this long journey, my friend, instead of to spend your holiday at home.

PIKE

Holiday! Why, I never had time even to go to Niagara Falls!

VASILI

[to MARIANO]

Finito!

[Sets his napkin carelessly on table and lights a Russian cigarette.]

MADAME DE CHAMPIGNY

What is it he does with his serviette?

PIKE

[moving his chair back from the table slightly, and folding his napkin]

No, sir, you wouldn't catch me puttin' in any time in these old kingdoms unless I had to.

LADY CREECH

[loudly, to HAWCASTLE]

Hawcastle, can you tell me how much longer these persons intend to remain here listening to our conversation?

[PIKE half turns to LADY CREECH, innocently puzzled.]

HAWCASTLE

Oh, it isn't that; but it's somewhat annoying not to be allowed to read one's paper in peace.

HORACE

Quite beastly annoying!

VASILI

[quietly]

I fear we have disturbed these good people.

PIKE

[in wonder]

Do you think they're hinting at us?

VASILI

I fear so.

PIKE

[gently and with sincere amazement]

Why, we haven't done anything to 'em.

VASILI

No, my friend.

PIKE

[smiling]

Well, I guess there ain't any bones broken.

HORACE

[throws down paper angrily on tea-table]

I can't stand this. I shall go for a stroll.

PIKE

[rising]

I expect it's about time for me to go and find the two young folks I've come to look after.

VASILI

You are here for a duty, then?

HAWCASTLE

By Jove!

[They all stare at PIKE.]

PIKE

[continuing]

I expect, prob'ly, Doc, I won't be able to eat with you this evening. You see—

[he pauses, somewhat embarrassed]

—you see, I've come a mighty long ways to look after her, and she, prob'ly—that is, they'll prob'ly want me to have supper with them.

[The latter part of this speech is spoken rather breathlessly, though not rapidly, and almost tremulously, and with a growing smile that is like a confession.]

VASILI

Do not trouble for me. Your young people, they have a villa?

PIKE

No; they're right here in this hotel.

HORACE

I must get away!

[He says this huskily, almost in a whisper, as if to himself. His face is tense with anxiety.]

VASILI

[with a gesture of dismissal, though graciously]

Seek them. I finish my cigarette.

PIKE

Guess I better ask.

[HORACE is crossing, meaning to get away through the grove.]

PIKE

[lifting his voice]

Excuse me, son, ain't you an American?

[More decidedly, to MARIANO.]

Waiter, tell that gentleman I'm speaking to him.

MARIANO

[to HORACE]

M'sieu', that gentleman speak with you.

HORACE

[agitated and angry]

What gentleman?

[MARIANO bows toward PIKE.]

PIKE

[at same time genially]

I thought from your looks you must be an American.

HORACE

[turning haughtily]

Are you speaking to me?

PIKE

[good-humoredly]

Well, I shouldn't be surprised. Ain't you an American?

HORACE

I happen to have been born in the States.

PIKE

[amiably]

Well, that was luck!

HORACE

[turning as if to go]

Will you kindly excuse me?

PIKE

Hold on a minute! I'm looking for some Americans here, and I expect you know 'em—boy and girl named Simpson.

PIKE

[much pleased]

No, sir; just plain Simpson. Granger's their middle name. That's for old Jed Granger, grandfather on their ma's side.

[He pronounces "ma" with the broad Hoosier accent—"maw."]

I want to see 'em both, but it's the girl I'm rilly looking for.

HORACE

[trembling, but speaking even more haughtily]

Will you be good enough to state any possible reason why Miss Granger-Simpson should see you?

PIKE

[in profound surprise, yet mildly]

Reason—why, yes—I'm her guardian.

[ETHEL lifts her hand to her forehead as if dizzy. MADAME DE CHAMPIGNY puts an arm around her. ETHEL recovers herself and stands rigidly, staring at PIKE.]

HORACE

[staggered]

What!

HORACE

[hoarse with shame, to PIKE; slight pause after PIKE'S last speech.]

I shall ask her if she will consent to an interview.

PIKE

[at same time, astounded]

"Consent to an interview"? Why, I want to talk to her!

HAWCASTLE

[quickly and earnestly to ETHEL]

This shall make no difference to us, my child. Speak to him at once.

[Exit into the hotel.]

PIKE

[to HORACE]

Don't you understand? I'm her guardian.

HORACE

[with a desperate gesture]

I shall never hold up my head again!

[Rushes off.]

VASILI

[gravely, to PIKE]

When you have finished your affairs, my friend, remember my poor car yonder.

"YES, SIR, DANIEL VOORHEES PIKE, ATTORNEY AT LAW, KOKOMO, INDIANA"

"YES, SIR, DANIEL VOORHEES PIKE, ATTORNEY AT LAW, KOKOMO, INDIANA"

[pg 061]
PIKE

[with a melancholy smile]

All right, Doc, I'm kind of confused just now, but I reckon I can still put a plug back in a gear-box.

VASILI

[at same time]

Then au revoir, my friend.

[Strolls off through the grove.]

PIKE

[watching him go, thoughtfully]

Yes, sir!

ETHEL

[haughtily, yet with the air of confessing a humiliating truth, her eyes cast down]

I am Miss Granger-Simpson.

[As she speaks he turns and lifts his hand toward her as if suddenly startled. He has not seen her until now. He stands for a moment in silence, looking at her with great tenderness and pride.]

PIKE

[with both wonder and pathos in his voice]

Why, I knew your pa from the time I was a little boy till he died, and I looked up to him more'n I ever looked up to anybody in my life, but I never thought he'd have a girl like you!

[She turns from him; he takes a short step nearer her.]

He'd 'a' been mighty proud if he could see you now.

PIKE

[mildly]

I don't see how that's possible.

ETHEL

[sitting]

Will you please sit down?

PIKE

Yes, ma'am!

[ETHEL shivers at the "ma'am."]

[He sits in the chair which HORACE has occupied, still holding his hat in his hand.]

ETHEL

[tremulously, her eyes cast down]

As you know, I—I—

[She stops, as if afraid of breaking down; then, turning toward him, cries sharply.]

Oh, are you really my guardian?

PIKE

[smiling]

Well, I've got the papers in my grip. I expect—

ETHEL

Oh, I KNOW it! It is only that we didn't fancy, we didn't expect—

PIKE

I expect you thought I'd be considerable older.

ETHEL

Not only that

ETHEL

[frigidly]

I quite fail to understand your point of view. Perhaps I had best make it at once clear to you that I am no longer thinking of marrying.

PIKE

[leaning back in his chair and smiling on her]

Well, Lord-a-Mercy!

ETHEL

I mean I have decided upon it. The ceremony is to take place within a fortnight.

PIKE

Well, I declare!

ETHEL

We shall dispense with all delays.

ETHEL

[with cold emphasis, sitting very straight in her chair]

Distinctly!

[PIKE'S expression becomes puzzled, he passes his hand over his chin, looks at her keenly. Then his eyes turn to the spot where HORACE stood during their interview, and he starts, as though shocked at a sudden thought.]

PIKE

It ain't that fellow I was talkin' to yonder?

ETHEL

[indignantly]

That was my brother!

PIKE

[relieved, but somewhat embarrassed]

Lord-a-Mercy!

[Recovering himself immediately and smiling.]

But, naturally, I wouldn't remember him. He couldn't have been more than twelve years old last time you were home. Of course, I'd 'a' known you

ETHEL

How? You couldn't have seen me since I was a child.

PIKE

From your picture. Though now I see—it ain't so much like you.

PIKE

[very gently]

The last time I saw your father alive he gave me one.

ETHEL

[frowning]

Gave it to you?

PIKE

Gave it to me to look at.

ETHEL

And you remembered—

PIKE

[apologetically]

Yes, ma'am!

ETHEL

[incredulously]

Remembered well enough to know me?

PIKE

Yes, ma'am!

ETHEL

It does not strike me as possible. We may dismiss the subject.

PIKE

Well, if you'd like to introduce me to your

[laughing feebly and tentatively, hesitates]

—to your—

ETHEL

To my brother?

PIKE

No, ma'am; I mean to your—to the young man.

ETHEL

To Mr. St. Aubyn? I think it quite unnecessary.

ETHEL

I do not see that you need have come at all.

[Her lip begins to tremble.]

We could have been spared this mortification.

PIKE

[sadly]

You mean I mortify you? Why, I—I can't see how.

ETHEL

In a hundred ways—every way. That common person who is with you—

PIKE

[gently]

He ain't common. You only think so because he's with me.

ETHEL

[sharply]

Who is he?

PIKE

He told me his name, but I can't remember it. I call him "Doc."

ETHEL

It doesn't matter! What does matter is that you needn't have come. You could have written your consent.

PIKE

[mildly]

Not without seeing the young man.

ETHEL

And you could have arranged the settlement in the same way.

PIKE

[smiling]

Settlement? You seem to have settled it pretty well without me.

ETHEL

You do not understand. An alliance of this sort always entails a certain settlement.

PIKE

Yes, ma'am—when folks get married they generally settle down considerable.

PIKE

[puzzled]

Money, you mean?

ETHEL

If you choose to put it that way.

PIKE

You mean you want to put aside something of your own to buy a lot and fix up a place to start housekeeping—

ETHEL

No, no! I mean a settlement upon Mr. St. Aubyn directly.

PIKE

You mean you want to give it to him?

ETHEL

If that's the only way to make you understand—yes!

PIKE

[amused]

How much do you want to give him?

ETHEL

[coldly]

A hundred and fifty thousand pounds.

PIKE

[incredulously]

Seven hundred and fifty thousand dollars!

ETHEL

Precisely that!