"He did not cast me off, but dealt with me according to the constitution of his well-ordered covenant: 'If his children,' Christ's, 'forsake my law and walk not in my judgments, if they break my statutes and keep not my commandments, then will I visit their transgression with the rod, and their iniquity with stripes. Nevertheless, my loving-kindness will I not utterly take from him, nor suffer my faithfulness to fail; my covenant will I not break, nor alter the thing that is gone out of my lips.' Psalm 89:30. This is the covenant — made with Christ as the head of all who believe — of which I took hold in early life; my God kept me to my choice, and manifested his own faithfulness and the stability of his covenant. When lighter afflictions proved ineffectual, he at last, at one blow, took from me all that made life dear, the very kernel of all my earthly joys, my idol, my beloved husband. Then I no longer halted between two opinions; my God became my all. I leave it as my testimony, that he has been a father to the fatherless, a husband to the widow, the stranger's shield and orphan's stay. Even to hoar hairs and to old age he has carried me, and not one good word has failed of all that he has promised. 'He has done all things well,' and at this day I am richer and happier than ever I was in my life. Not that I am yet made free from sin, that is still my burden — want of love and gratitude, indolence in commanded duty, self-will, and nestling in the creature. But my heart's wish and earnest desire is conformity to the divine will. The bent of my will is for God; and if my heart deceive me not, my God is the centre of my best affections. It is by grace that I am what I am, and the same grace engages to perfect the work begun.
"This God is my God; he will guide me even unto death, through death, and be my portion to eternity. This God I recommend to my friend; and this well-ordered covenant, this all-sufficient Saviour, for your acceptance: the Bible for your guide, pray to God for his Holy Spirit to lead you to the knowledge of the very truth as it is in Jesus. Accept this as a testimony of friendship, and believe me
"Yours, in love,
"I. GRAHAM."
To the same.
"NOVEMBER 2, 1800.
"You have, I find, been the child of affliction: she is a stern, rugged nurse; but blessed often are the lessons she teaches. I have, says God, chosen thee in the furnace of affliction. It is God's ordinary way of drawing sinners to himself, either to dry up or imbitter the streams of worldly comfort, that he may shut them up to seek that comfort that depends not on any transitory source.
"I have no doubt but you shall yet sing with the royal Psalmist, 'It is good for me that I have been afflicted; for before I was afflicted I went astray, but now I have kept thy word. Blessed is the man thou chastenest, O Lord, and teachest him out of thy law.' Many are the texts to the same purport; take them for your consolation as a part of God's well-ordered covenant.
"You have met with a late bereavement, which has entered deep into your soul. We are not called to stoicism, but to tenderness of heart and spirit. Jesus wept with the two sisters over a brother's grave. But still, the Christian's spirit must be resigned, and say, and try to say with cheerfulness, 'Not my will, but thine be done.' And Oh, my friend, great will be the wisdom and happy the acquisition, if every new bereavement enlarge the room for divine love in the heart, and be filled up with that most noble, most blessed of principles. Seek not, my friend, to replace friendship with any mere worldling; beg of God to fill up the vacuum, then will you be a great gainer.
"Why hesitate to join the church? Let not a sense of unworthiness keep you back — a deep sense of unworthiness is one grand part of due preparation; and no worthiness of yours can give you any title to that new testament in Christ's blood, which was shed for the remission of sins. Worthless, vile, empty, helpless is every son and daughter of Adam's race: but it was for the ungodly that Christ died; it was while we were without strength; his name was called Jesus, because he should save his people from their sins. In that day, that great day of the feast, Jesus stood among a mixed multitude, and cried, 'If any man thirst, let him come to me and drink — whosoever will, let him take the water of life freely.'
"If conscious at the time it is the supreme desire of your soul to be washed in his blood, clothed with his righteousness, sanctified by his Spirit, go and take this water of life freely; go as a sinner to a Saviour; go at his command, put honor on his appointment, and repeat the dedication of all that you are, have, or can have, over the symbols of his body broken for you, his blood shed for you; go, trusting in his mercy, and leave all to his management, believing that he will shed abroad his love in your heart, order your footsteps in his ways, and in due time perfect his image in your soul. Keep close to him in the use of means, but look beyond the means for life and power. I commit you to our God and Saviour, and pray that he may be to you 'wisdom, righteousness, sanctification,' and complete 'redemption.'
"I am, my dear Miss M——,
"Your ever affectionate,
"I.G."
In March, 1801, the health of her daughter Mrs. B——, requiring a sea-voyage and absence from care, Mr. and Mrs. B—— sailed for Britain, and the following letters were addressed to them during their absence:
"MARCH 23, 1801.
"MY DEAR CHILDREN — This is mortifying to us all that you should be anchored half a mile from us, and there lie for hours; but even this, trifling as it may appear, has its end to answer in His scheme, without whom 'not a sparrow falls.' I have retired with my Bible, to commit you, and all my cares and concerns, afresh to that God whose goodness and mercy have followed us through life; who is my God, your God, and the God of our children; who answered my prayers in opposition to my inconsistent conduct; took you out of my idolatrous management into his own more merciful guidance. He has done all things well, and he will perfect his own work.
"Now, may the Angel that redeemed you, be with you, keep you in the hollow of his hand, and as the apple of his eye; be with you on his own ocean, and command the billows not to touch you; carry you to the bosom of your dear native country, where a large proportion of his body live in him and by him; bless you, and make you a blessing wherever his providence shall carry you, and restore you with blessings to us, in his own time. Amen."
"SABBATH, after morning service, March 29.
"This, my dear children, is a day of storm, wind, and rain. O that the prayer of our dear pastor, and I hope of many present, may be with you, and be answered to and for you: Lord, be with that family, who now, on the mighty ocean, desire an interest in our prayers. May he whom winds and waves obey, preserve them in this tempestuous season; may they see and improve his wonders in the great deep; may the blessings of the everlasting gospel preserve their souls in peace, conduct them in safety to their destined port, and restore them to us, enriched with the blessings of thy well-ordered covenant.
"I sent two notes for the Dutch churches, enclosed to Mr. B——; one for Wall-street, to Mr. A——, and one for the Brick church, to Mr. M——. I watered all with my tears.
"FIVE O'CLOCK."
"O, how it blows and rains. O my children, how my poor heart aches for you; if not in danger, yet sick, and in much discomfort. I gave a note in the old church in the afternoon, supposing the congregation on this dreadful day to be different. Mr. M—— prayed: "The Angel of thy presence be with them; give them much of the consolations of thy Spirit. Conduct them in safety to the place of their destination, and restore them, enriched with thy blessing, to worship with us again in this thy house of prayer.' I write on this day merely to record, for your perusal, the prayers of your church. I think you ought, if the Lord conduct you safe, to propose public thanks to that God who heard and answered, if agreeable to Mr. M——. Write me how it was with you on this day. Now I will go to a throne of grace for you and all of us. O keep close to the Lord; may he save you from a dissipated, trifling, carnal spirit; may he sanctify all your comforts, and give you a just estimation of all you see and hear: may the Christian's portion rise more and more; and the world and its vanities sink in your view."
"APRIL 10.
"What the Lord is going to do with his and my children I know not; but the Samuel Elam has returned to port with a leak, after being out nineteen days. On the day of storm, she had seven feet of water in her hold. I hope the Lord, in mercy to you, to his church, and to me his unworthy servant, has guided you in safety, and that the prayers of his church were answered in your behalf. O, my children, what would be the situation of my heart had I not confidence of your being within the ark. I desire to rejoice over all my fears, for this unspeakable consolation, that nothing can hurt you. I experience for you what I did in my own case, when darkness and tempest added to the horrors of many, while our vessel kept dashing on the rock: I, too, expected her to go to pieces every moment; but the idea was ever with me, 'in the bosom of God's ocean, I shall find the bosom of my Saviour.' On the night of the 29th of March I dreamt my dear J——y fell overboard, and I saw her floating on the billows, supporting herself by her little chair: this is the state of my mind; yet I am thankful, and enjoy much peace. The Lord has given me what I have asked — the salvation of your souls. In a little time we shall all be gathered around his throne. Well may I leave to him all intervening circumstances, as well as who goes first, and how. O how he blesses my latter end, how he soothes and comforts my old age; far other things have I merited, that my soul knows; but he has not only pardoned, but comforts, and draws a veil over my transgressions, covering them from the world's observation. What can I say? He is God, a God of mercy."
"APRIL 17.
"I have brought the reality near me, that mine eyes may never behold you again on earth. I can say, even of that, it is well; but the idea of the horrors of tempest, a leaky vessel racked by the storm, and sinking by inches; sickness, nervous timidity, and the sufferings to be undergone before the entrance to the haven of rest be attained, is my chief disquietude, I will not even say distress, because when these horrors — horrors they are to mere nature — dart across my mind, filling my soul with momentary anguish, Satan too seeking to distract my mind, the Spirit of the Lord lifts up a standard against him, and comforts me with his own word, the everlasting promises suited to every possible circumstance in the believer's lot. Thousands of times have I grasped that promise, 'Leave thy fatherless children, I will preserve them alive.' I pleaded it for the life of their souls; He answered my prayers; he has given them life, and they live to him. Yes, I see the fruit, and though iniquities still prevail against them, he still purges away their transgressions; kindles their repentance; humbles their souls; lays them prostrate in penitential confession; washes them afresh in the open fountain; restores to them the joys of his salvation; seals their pardon by shedding abroad his love in their hearts, and making them walk in the path of righteousness for his own name's sake.
"Thus he carries them on from strength to strength by various means of his own appointing, and some terrible things in righteousness, in the course of his providence; in all which he is sovereign, but ever consistent with his new covenant name, as proclaimed to Moses on the mount, as manifested in the character of God dwelling with us in our own nature, in whom mercy shone prominent; by which mercy they shall appear in Zion, before God, in due time.
"Is it so? Is this God my God, and the God of my seed? Is he himself become our salvation? Are we heirs of God and joint-heirs with Christ? Is our life hid with Christ in God? When he appears, shall we, I and the children which he hath given me, in very deed appear with him in glory? Is all this so, and shall I tremble at the approach of any of his providences? Shall I not say when it has taken place, 'The will of the Lord be done,' especially when clothed with love? I trust that as my day, so shall my strength be, and in the interim I have the same confidence for you; for 'he giveth power to the faint, and to them that have no might he increaseth strength.'"
"APRIL 25.
"The wind roars and howls in my windows, though not facing the storm, and the white waves in the river picture in my mind the foaming billows of the ocean. The name of our God is my consolation: 'though the waters roar and be troubled, though the mountains shake with the swelling thereof, there is a river the streams whereof shall make glad the city of God. God shall help her, and that right early.' When I walk about Zion, and go round about her, when I tell the towers thereof, mark her bulwarks, and consider her palaces, my heart rejoices that 'this God is our God; he will be our guide even unto death; and O the joy that my children are the citizens of this Zion, and the heirs of all the promises by virtue of the new testament in Christ's blood. A covenant of works it was to our Surety, and his heart's blood finished the requisites of it. It is now a testament to you, sealed by the same blood. Wherever in his word I meet the character, the providence, the work of God, I read my own and my children's interest. I hope your experience shall be in Psalm 107:28. If not wholly, it shall terminate in Psalm 23:4. Though you walk through the valley of the shadow of death, you shall fear no evil, for this God, who is your guide even unto death, shall be with you, his rod and staff shall comfort you; and our darling Jessy he shall carry as a lamb in his arms, and hide her from the horrors, in his bosom. I dwell much on these subjects, and I feel comforted, whatever be the event.
"If the Lord has carried you safe through, and you live to read this in the body, know that our God continues to bless us abundantly in health, peace, and plenty, as to temporals; we also experience the peace of his covenant, and have tastes of the bread and of the water of life. Thanks, all thanks to our new covenant Head for the stability of the covenant; we change, but he changeth not. He himself is the covenant given to the people, and because he lives, his people shall live also, in spite of Satan and his colleague sin in our hearts: sin may, and does bring his people into captivity, but it shall not keep them in bondage for ever. The time of deliverance shall come, when they shall revive as the corn. Oh, is it not a well-ordered covenant, and sure?"
Her next letter gives an illustration of fidelity in a difficult, and, it is to be feared, much-neglected duty.
"MAY 10, 1801.
"MY DEAR CHILDREN — Last evening was preparation sermon. Mr. Y—— preached a very excellent sermon from the Song of Solomon, 'Who is this that cometh up from the wilderness leaning on her beloved?' First the wilderness of this world, next the church coming up, then the attitude leaning, and on whom; I thought the simile well supported, and practical, as he went on. His application was rich on the Christian's support, where he brought into view many of the names of Christ.
"After sermon we witnessed a most affecting scene; two female members rebuked and restored to the communion of the church. Never, never did our dear Mr. M—— shine so bright in my eyes; many tears were shed. I knew nothing of it, and wondered to what he was leading, when he addressed the congregation, after sermon, upon Christian walk, watchfulness, and temptation, and the distress occasioned in Christian society when any of the members were left to fall into open and aggravated sin. Such was the case in our own congregation: two, naming the offenders, had been so far left; but while deeply wounded by the sin and scandal, he was consoled by their penitence: he assured the congregation that they had given great evidence of deep contrition; and were now come forward to acknowledge their crime before their offended and grieved brethren, and to give all the satisfaction in their power, by submitting to the censure of the church in this public manner, which, although painful to him, he must pronounce according to God's appointment. 'Them who sin before all, rebuke before all.' He then asked them to rise; scarce an individual turned to look; many were weeping while he laid before them their guilt in strong, yet tender terms; and finished by expressing his approbation of their thus submitting to the rod, and exhorting them to humility and redoubled watchfulness. Then again he addressed the members, requesting them to receive into their Christian love and affection their repenting, returning sisters; that they would treat them with tenderness, and restore them in the spirit of meekness, considering themselves as also in the body and subject to temptation. 'Let no one put them in remembrance of the sin which the Father of mercies has blotted out, nor open those wounds which he has closed,' 'He doth not chide continually, nor retain his anger for ever.'
"May the Lord bless the discipline of his church; may he meet us to-morrow with multiplied pardons: may he melt our hearts to contrition, heal our backslidings, and manifest himself as married unto us; may he bring us into his banqueting house and his banner over us be love; may his grace be magnified and his name glorified; and may he send a portion to my dear children — yea, a Benjamin's portion; may he open wide the leaves of that new testament, and let them read their rich inheritance and rejoice in their portion.
"Farewell, my dear children. The Lord bless you, keep you, guide you, and cause his face to shine on you, prays your affectionate mother."
The following to the same, was written while on a visit to a worldly friend:
"MAY 21, 1801.
"I would fain begin to hope that my children are now on, or near the green fields of Albion. Many a severe gale has agitated them, and tried their faith and confidence before this day. But as He who sitteth on the clouds, commanding and governing the elements, is their own God in covenant, who loves them, careth for them, and perfects what concerns them, I hope they have had much of his presence: I hope they have found, even on the boisterous ocean, amidst the horrors of the swelling deep, agitated with winds and tempests, all things necessary to life and godliness in these great and precious promises, accompanied by divine power, by which they are made partakers of divine life, and escape the pollution that is in the world through lust. I hope they are enriched in experience, and advanced in the divine life, by all they have suffered, and all they have tasted of divine support in their sufferings; that Christ is still more precious, his word more tried, and their confidence in him more established: if so, great is their gain. And our darling J——, being a sharer in the suffering, shall, at her God's hand, be also a gainer, though it be not evident to our perception. O how rich is the Christian, how inexhaustible his portion! his table is ever furnished, his cup ever full; all is blessing, no curse mingled — that our Surety took to himself; prosperity and adversity, sickness and health, light and darkness, all, all shall bless us, work for our good, turn to our profit, and end in the glory of God and our unspeakable, inconceivable happiness.
"I have been here a week yesterday; all vegetable nature glows and shines in the perfection of beauty; flowers, shrubs, trees, grain, grass, falling waters turning the busy mill, the brook murmuring on its way to the ocean, fit emblem of eternity, all glorify their Creator; and although no such birds as in Britain charm the listening ear, we have some sweet chirpers of his praise; and what is wanting to the ear, is made up to the eye, for in beauty they excel.
"These I may enjoy; with these hold communion; for Oh, spiritual death holds all within these walls in dismal bondage; not one symptom of life appears, but death, as the dry bones in the valley of vision. Why do I not wrestle more for the Spirit to breathe on them? I do pray: but Oh, formal, formal."
To the same.
"JUNE 17, 1801.
"MY DEAR CHILDREN — Difficult it is for me to exercise patience: the 23d, of this month will make three months since you waved the handkerchief on board the Mars, off the Battery. I had made up my mind not to give way to expectation short of three months; they are nearly past: how many events take place in that space of time; how many duties ought to be performed; how many sins are really committed; how guilty to wish to annihilate the time that a certain event may come round. For every moment of time we must account, and not one moment of it can we recall. Much you have seen; much you have suffered; much, perhaps, also enjoyed: for the Lord can give songs in the night, and in a dungeon. 'Surely his salvation is nigh them that fear him;' to them there is no want. The Lord is their shepherd, he feedeth them in green pastures beside the gently flowing waters; if they wander, he restoreth them, perhaps with the rod, but it is the rod of love; they need not be afraid to enter even the valley of the shadow of death; their Shepherd is with them, and his rod, rod of support, and staff shall comfort them.
"I hope this has been a profitable time to you both; that you have seen more of the evil of sin, and of your own hearts, their deceitful double turnings and windings to cover and conceal the enemy of God and your own souls; more of the extent and spirituality of the divine law, fulfilled indeed in every jot and tittle by your Surety; but still doubly binding on you as a rule of life in the hand of your Redeemer, who hath bought you to himself, and taken you into his own hands, that you might be a holy people to himself, delivered not merely from the penalty and curse, but from the power and indwelling of sin. I hope you have seen more of the unsearchable riches of Christ in all he has done and is now doing for your and his church's happiness, and of those exceeding great and precious promises by which you are made partakers of the-divine life, and privileged to escape the pollution that is in the world through lust; more of the faithfulness of God, as a God in Christ, pardoning sin and reconciling you to himself; and day by day, teaching you by his word, Spirit, and providences.
"I am but just beginning to see that I am blind; my own character opening upon me as a sinner, in heart and tongue and conduct, against my God, my neighbor, and my own soul: how comes it then that I am at ease in God's world; in health, in peace, in comfort, all in an extraordinary degree as to temporals; and as to spirituals, though grieved with self, my joy in Christ also abounds. Can I believe it? What can I say; what can I render to the Lord for all his gifts to me? Nothing can I do, but just take the cup of salvation, calling upon the name of the Lord, and remain an eternal debtor to his grace for spirituals and temporals."
"JUNE 26.
"By this time you are already in port, on earth or in heaven. Blessed alternative. Ought I to be sad, who can say, 'or in heaven?' O no, I trust grace will be given to acquiesce in his most blessed will; a most gracious will it has been to me and mine.
"I wrote you in my last, that our dear Mr. M—— leaves us next month for Britain; his errand is to state the situation of this country, as greatly in want of ministers and the means of educating ministers. Many of his people are dissatisfied, as he has two congregations to supply, and a large family of his own. Why should he be the man? For my own part, I think he is the very man; and I am thankful to feel a degree of disinterestedness. Though I love my minister, value his ministry and his person, I hope the general interest of Christ's body is more dear to me, and of infinitely more importance than my private comfort, which, after all, I do not believe can suffer by parting cheerfully with its apparent food to Christ, who himself is the sum and substance of all that any minister can be instrumental in conveying. All means are alike to him, or no means. I therefore rejoice in his will, and pray that the Lord may prosper him, give him a double portion of his Spirit, and favor in the eyes of all whose influence is necessary to advance the Redeemer's kingdom in America.
"Our friend Mrs. K—— is gone; she died suddenly: both Mr. and Mrs. T—— died at their country-seat; he first. She fancied she was getting better. The physician advised her not to ride, as she could not stand the fatigue; she had more faith in air and exercise: the last day she went out she fainted getting into the carriage, and again coming out; and died in the afternoon. She lived near us, yet I never saw her, nor offered one kind office towards the salvation of her soul, which, if lost, leaves me not innocent of her blood, and if saved, as I hope it may be, my sinful neglect is not the less. What a picture in them of the vanity of all under the sun; and in me of the evil of procrastination, for I meant to visit her. O my Saviour, is this the return I make for the millions of pardons which thou hast passed on my account; sparing even the rod, and blessing me with health, restored limbs, and mercy on mercy, comfort on comfort? I want words to paint my abominable ingratitude, indolence, and cruelty; and yet, Oh yet I am spared, and my mercies are spared, as far as I know — but trial may be at hand. Perhaps I write what my children may never read. Well, even then, mercy, mercy shall be my song; for I sing the song on earth which they sing in heaven. I am just going to town to attend preparation sermon. Our feast is on Sabbath."
"JULY 17, 1801.
"What shall I render to the Lord for all his mercies — mercies temporal, mercies spiritual, mercies eternal, multiplied mercies? The one thing that I asked of the Lord has been answered in full, and Oh, how much added. God himself become my salvation, and the salvation of my house; how unspeakable the blessing. Although chastisement and affliction were the means of correction and sanctification, or even the vengeance taken on my inventions, yet, as a God, he at the same time pardoneth. For Oh, my character is ever the same with backsliding Judah and treacherous Israel. Glory to that name which is ever the same, and changeth not. 'The Lord, the Lord God, merciful and gracious, long-suffering, abundant in goodness and truth, forgiving iniquity, transgression, and sin.' This was his name among a stiff-necked people, an idolatrous, ungrateful people; this is his name to me alike in character. O how he has magnified this name to me, a backslider in heart and life; multiplying pardons while I have multiplied transgressions: still he has been last with me, healing my backsliding; restoring my soul; leading me to the open fountain; giving faith to wash, and joy and peace in believing; not only so, but in this land of drought, this waste howling wilderness, this vale of tears, where 'man is born to trouble as the sparks fly upwards,' my cup with temporal comfort is full and running over; all his creatures minister to my comfort; and as days and nights roll on, his daily providence adds, and diminishes not.
"I had hardly hoped to see the faces of my children again; for he commanded, and raised the stormy winds and lifted up the waves of the sea; they mounted to heaven and sunk again to the deep; death with all its natural horrors surrounded them; the deep yawned to devour them; but God, their own God, was at hand, their anchor of hope, their ark of safety, their hiding-place till the calamity was past: they cried to him, and he saved them out of their distresses; he made the storm a calm, and the waves thereof still, and brought them to the desired haven. This trouble was not unto death, but for the glory of God and the exercising of your faith, for the manifestation of his power and goodness, and the enriching of your experience.
"O then let us praise the Lord for his goodness, and for his wonderful works to the children of men. Let us exalt him in the congregation of his people, and praise him in the assembly of the elders."
"OCTOBER 23, 1801.
"Surely, surely my heart feels grateful for the time, though this, like every other good motion, will, like the morning dew, soon pass away.
"My children not only preserved through the tempestuous storms that threatened death with circumstances shocking to nature, but my poor sick child preserved during a long and fatiguing journey; that journey made comfortable, yea, delightful, by the warm reception of many kind friends, dear to nature, and many doubly endeared by grace: among the last, the mother and sisters of the kindest and best of husbands; they receiving her as their own flesh and blood, as well as their fellow-member in Christ; blest with a measure of health to enjoy all, and a measure of grace to profit by all; eyeing by faith the dear invisible hand of a covenant God, preserving, leading, guiding through every step — his love the marrow of the whole, and their charter for safety, even amidst the dangers of prosperity.
"Is not godliness gain? profitable for this life as well as that which is to come? What is the portion of the worldling? even in this life 'shadowy joy or solid woe,' without a balance to the first, or consolation in the last; no sure footing in the one, nor support in the other; distanced from the fountain of happiness by nature, prosperity incrusts their hearts and increases their carnality; nestling in their worldly comforts, they forget they are the creatures of a day, that an endless eternity lies before them, and only the feeble uncertain thread of life between them and that curse under which they were born. Not so the child of God; all things work together for his good — all things; his standing is not in himself; his footsteps are directed by infinite wisdom: he is kept by the power of God, through faith, unto salvation. Nothing can separate him from the love of God. His life is hid with Christ in God: there is cause to rejoice always; his privileges are boundless, infinite, for God himself is become his salvation.
"Have we then any cause for fear? Yes, my children, yes; though nothing can rob us of our charter, there is another side to be beheld. In Christ we have all things richly to enjoy, but we have not all in possession: what we have is by faith; all is secured by our Surety for eternity. We shall overcome by the blood of the Lamb; but by the constitution of the covenant we must enter into that rest, that perfect rest, through great tribulation. While our eternal salvation is secured by our Surety, it hath pleased infinite Wisdom to appoint another connection, which shall exist while we remain on earth: even the connection between our steadfastness, consequently our comfort, and the means of grace which he hath appointed, making the first to depend in a great measure on our diligent use of the last, insomuch that a great number of the promises are proposed conditionally. Many exhortations are given in this view, and also many threatenings. 'They that wait on the Lord shall renew their strength,' etc. 'Seek, and ye shall find; ask, and ye shall receive; knock, and it shall be opened unto you.' 'Abide in me; as the branch cannot bear fruit of itself, no more can ye, except ye abide in me.'
"Close, intimate, near communion with God, is to be sought by means of prayer, meditation, and reading. If the Christian be careful to husband time, and set apart a portion for God, and set about these duties, he will not always miss communion; and this prepares him for other duties, and arms him against temptation; as the promise is concerned to keep him in perfect peace whose mind is stayed on Him. 'If ye, being evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your heavenly Father give his Holy Spirit to them that ask him.' 'So shall ye know the Lord, if ye follow on to-know him.' 'Delight thyself in God, he will give thee the desire of thy heart.' 'Nevertheless, I will be inquired of by the house of Israel,' etc. 'If his children forsake my laws, and go astray, I will visit their faults,' etc. 'Watch and pray, that ye enter not into temptation.' 'But thou, when thou prayest, enter into thy closet,' etc. 'Thy Father, who seeth in secret, shall reward thee openly.' All is laid before us in the Scriptures, in the view of comfort during our pilgrimage, as well as the certainty of our inheritance in the end; the ground whereon we stand, our danger, and the means of safety. See Eph. 6:11.
"There is provision made in the covenant for great comfort, consistent with human frailty and imperfection, but not with carelessness and negligence. While, therefore, we rejoice in the Lord, we have good reason to join trembling with our exultation; while standing high in comfort, to take heed lest we fall, through the deceitfulness of sin. We carry about with us 'a body of sin and death;' 'the devil, as a roaring lion, walketh about, seeking whom he may devour.' We wrestle not with flesh and blood, but with principalities and powers,' etc. We live in a world lying in wickedness; the captives of sin and Satan exerting every faculty to banish all thoughts of God, death, and eternity; contriving, with unwearied industry and amazing ingenuity, new gratifications for body and mind in endless variety, suited to all constitutions, all tempers and dispositions, and to those in all circumstances. Of these, the most rational are the most subtle, and, in the hand of the enemy, the most calculated to keep men ignorant of themselves, their misery, and of the great salvation; and alas, by these he often spoils unwary Christians, who, though heirs of heaven, heirs of God, and joint-heirs with Christ, are, during their minority, subject to like passions with themselves, and ever in danger of being spoiled of their comforts when off their guard.
"With the people of the world Christians have much to do: they are fellow-members of society with them; they have many duties to perform to them, with them, and by them; many of the things of the world are necessary to them, many of its pleasures lawful; for 'the earth is the Lord's and the fulness thereof,' and he gives them of it as his wisdom sees good for them. That which he gives them they gather in the same manner as and in society with the world, by industry and diligence in their lawful calling and business. Keeping near the Captain of salvation, and armed in his whole armor, they are safe. When off their guard, the vigilant enemy gains some advantage, and they get into trouble. O how many gracious names our dear Redeemer has assumed in his word, for our comfort, our meditation, our spiritual exercise; how pleasant and delightful in the light of his countenance to analyze them! Besides the names peculiar to himself as God-man, how many has he condescended to take from among men, and the natural comforts and safeguards of men — our Shepherd, our Rock, our Ark, all the relations in life — and ends with our All in all. But I must have done, that I may tell you that goodness and mercy follow us in this family also."
"July 28, 1801.
"My dear pastor, Mr. M——, sailed for Britain. I thank thee, good and kind Shepherd of Israel, for all those providences, which seemed small things at the time, that hedged me into that congregation; for all the benefits and comforts I enjoyed under the ministry of thy aged servant now before thy throne, and that thou preparedst thy young servant to fill his place when the time of his departure came.
"I thank thee for all the endowments of our young pastor, of nature and grace. I thank thee, that thou hast kept him faithful to Him who has called him, and for the precious treasure thou hast put in that earthen vessel.
"Now, Lord, that thou hast called him to leave his family and his flock, to travel to a foreign land in the service which thou requirest, go with him, prosper him, overrule all his concerns for thy glory, the good of his soul, of the church in general, and his own little flock in particular. Amen. Glorify thy name"
"NOVEMBER 22, 1801.
"ISABELLA SMITH," a grandchild, "is very ill; she appears to be in a stupor. Two physicians are attending, but my eyes are to the Lord. She is his own, given to him by faith, as a covenant God in Christ for her in particular, for ourselves and our children. I desire not to draw back, but, the Lord strengthening me, to give up at his call. If it be his will to spare her, she is still his own, to be done by, with, and for, as his infinite wisdom may see fit, for his own glory and her eternal interest. If he is about to remove her out of the world, she is his own; out of the mouth of this babe will he perfect praise; with that company of whom is the kingdom of heaven, she shall join in the song of Moses and the Lamb, 'to Him that loved us, and washed us from our sins in his own blood, to him be glory, honor, dominion, and power.'
"O Lord, one petition I prefer — if it be thy will to take her out of the world, take her in thine arms and carry her through the dark valley; grant to her a gentle and easy passage, and an abundant entrance into thy kingdom; and tune our hearts to sing, 'The Lord gave, and the Lord hath taken away; blessed be the name of the Lord.' Amen."
"NOVEMBER 23.
"This day the dear Isabella joined the church triumphant, and took her place among that company which Christ has pronounced blessed. I yesterday asked of the Lord that he would take her in his arms and carry her through the dark valley, that he would give her a gentle and easy passage, and an abundant entrance into his kingdom. He heard my prayer; it was indeed soft and gentle; not a struggle, not a groan; and the affliction which brought down the frame was moderate throughout. I was enabled to resign the Lord's own into his own hand, in the faith that he did receive, and would keep that which I committed to him.
"My soul is satisfied — more than satisfied; I rejoice, and congratulate the lovely babe on her early escape from a world of sin and sorrow, to the arms of her dear Redeemer, and to perfect blessedness with him."
"NOVEMBER 24.
"It is done — finished — the soul with God, the body in the tomb. It is all well; yes, our covenant God, thou doest all things well. I firmly believe thy mercy is over all thy works. Goodness, mercy, yea, loving-kindness has marked thy every step. I believe it now. I shall see it soon.
"Now, our God, follow this bereavement with thy purifying, sanctifying grace. Enable us all to search and try our ways. Lead our souls into a knowledge of the secret corruptions of our hearts, that we may confess and mourn over them, wash in the blood of Christ, be pardoned, restored, and get a great victory. Enable us through life to abide in Christ; to keep close to thee, transacting all our affairs with thee, before they come into the view of the world. Let thy wisdom and thy Spirit, in connection with thy providences, be our counsellors. O keep us in a dependent frame of mind, humble and watchful. Strip us of all self-confidence. May we at the same time be strong in the Lord and in the power of thy might; rejoicing in thee, the God of our salvation, the strength of our heart, and our portion for ever. Glory, glory, glory, to Father, Son, and blessed Spirit. Amen, and Amen."
"DECEMBER, 1801.
"It is my earnest desire to 'grow in grace, and in the knowledge of our Lord and Saviour Jesus Christ,' It is my desire to love the Lord my God with all my heart, with all my soul, with all my strength, and with all my mind; and to love my neighbor as myself, so as to do to Mm whatever I could expect from Christian principles in him, on an exchange of circumstances.
"It is my desire to give all diligence to add to my faith virtue, to virtue knowledge, to knowledge temperance, to temperance patience, to patience godliness, to godliness brotherly kindness, to brotherly kindness charity, that these things being in me and abounding, I may be neither barren nor unfruitful in the knowledge of our Lord and Saviour Jesus Christ.
"I desire to grow in grace day by day, to profit by every ordinance of God's appointing, and by every providence; and I pray, Lord, I pray that thou wouldst grant me my desire, so as that I may become more spiritual, more discerning in the Scriptures, more fruitful in good works: that thou mayest increase also my humility. Open to my view more of the extent and spirituality of thy divine law; the majesty, purity, holiness, of thy nature; the exceeding sinfulness of sin; the hidden corruptions of my own heart, and my inability to search them out, and to crucify them: give me also more just views of my past life, that I may ever be convinced that I am, what I really am, the very chief of sinners, and the least of all saints; and that it is entirely of grace that I am what I am. O make out this promise to me; I will record it in thine own words: 'I will establish my covenant with thee: and thou shalt know that I am the Lord,' Ezekiel 16:62. I confess myself the character described in the two foregoing chapters; and though thou hast chastened me ten thousand times less than my iniquities deserve, even by the constitution of the new covenant, thou hast chastened me. Now, O Lord, most merciful and gracious, who 'pardonest iniquity, transgression, and sin,' for thy name's sake, do to and for me as thou hast said: 'I will establish my covenant with thee; and thou shalt know that I am the Lord. That thou mayest remember, and be confounded, and never open thy mouth any more because of thy shame, when I am pacified towards thee for all that thou hast done, saith the Lord God.' Amen."
To Mr. and Mrs. B——, in Britain.
"DECEMBER 7, 1801.
"I have received my dear J——'s three letters from Dingwall: fresh matter of praise to our covenant God. You have had your season of affliction; and now you have a season of refreshing, a resting-time. The cup of the Christian is always more or less mixed. Your afflictions have ever been mixed with much mercy, and now your season of rest is also mixed. I well know that no temporal comfort can compensate the absence of your justly beloved D——. He, however, who is the God of both, who goes with him, and stays with you, can not only support, but comfort. The omniscient, the omnipresent, the omnipotent God is our God, and the God of our house; all that he is is ours, to bless us. Behold, God is become our salvation. Every endearing name known among men he takes to himself, to inspire us with pleasing, confiding love — every name that connects the idea of protection, to keep our minds in quiet peace, in the assurance of safety: Father, Husband, Brother, Friend, Prophet, Priest, King, Physician, Help, Health, Light, Life, Counsellor, Guide, Sanctuary, Anchor — but I should fill my sheet. I said it all at first: God is ours, and ours with the knowledge of all our backslidings, which he heals; our wanderings, from which he restores us; and our sins, which he forgives: one of his names is the God of pardons. He delights in mercy. Are we not his witnesses? What has our whole life been, but sin, backslidings, and wanderings? What have his dealings with us been, but pardons, healings, restorations? Therefore we remain, as at this day, with our desires towards him, and our faces Zion-wards. What he hath begun he will perfect, and in a little while our eyes shall behold him, our hearts shall enjoy him, we shall be like him, and see him as he is."
To the same.
"DECEMBER 26, 1801.
"I rejoice over my dear children, and bless our gracious God that he has led them a sweet and most delightful sojourning among his churches, animating their spirits by their mutual communion; blessing them, and, I hope, making them blessings. I pray the Lord may make our dear D—— an instrument among others of spreading his gospel, building up his church, and pulling down the strong-holds of Satan; and that you may be in your place a help-meet for him, in this as in every thing else. May the Lord choose his path and direct his steps, and yours with him. Women were helpers of the apostles and others in Paul's days: at the same time care must ever be taken not to obtrude in any respect. I pray that you may be kept spiritual and humble: eminence in God's service is truly desirable, if the heart be kept humble. If the Lord open the eyes to behold more of the extent and spirituality of his law, the holiness and purity of his nature, the evil of sin, and its contrariety to all that is in God; and if he turn the eyes inward to the hidden corruptions of the heart, when it is evident to the soul that all is of grace, then may eminent services be safe.
"'I abhor myself, and repent in dust and ashes,' was the exercise of Job; and justly so. Job, who was eyes to the blind and feet to the lame, a father to the poor, and the cause which he knew not he searched it out: when the ear heard him, it blessed him; when the eye saw him, it gave witness to him; who withheld not the poor from his desire, nor caused the eye of the widow to fail; the stranger did not lodge in the street, but he opened his door unto the traveller: all this was true as far as the external act, and as he then thought, with a proper temper of heart, Job could justify himself before his fellow-sinners, Blind like himself; but when God comes to deal with him, how different his views. Then it was, 'Behold, I am vile; what shall I answer thee? I will lay my hand on my mouth:' even with the very best there is cause for this exercise, could we see in the same light.
"How deceitful is the human heart; how unfaithful the conscience; how little do we know of the sins of our daily walk. We are called to watch and pray, that we enter not into temptation; to walk with God in close, intimate communion: whether we eat or drink, to do all to his glory: to consult him in all the affairs of life, narrowly observing his providence in connection with our circumstances; weighing all in his presence, requesting him to determine our wills and direct our steps. We ought not to say, 'We will go into such a city,' and do this or that; but, 'If the Lord will.' How inconsistent our conduct with these rules. How often do rashness, precipitation, and self-will accompany our determinations and movements. And how often do His goodness and wisdom over rule our folly, save us from our own pits, and prevent the evil that might be expected. At no time does he deal with us as we sin, though sometimes he stands by and allows us a taste of our folly: then we are in trouble, we dig our pits and fall into them, but we cannot deliver ourselves. O what a God! who, even at such a time, says to us, 'Call on me in the time of trouble; I will deliver thee, and thou shalt glorify my name; thou hast destroyed thyself, but in me is Blessed help; mercy to pardon, goodness to wisdom to guide, faithfulness to carry through and perfect what concerns us, overruling our very follies, and causing them to teach us to profit. This is God's way, according to many declarations of himself in his word, and the experience of all his redeemed.
"Blessed then is the man that trusteth in the Lord; they truly are a blessed people whose God Jehovah is."
"FEBRUARY, 1802.
"MY DEAR, MY BELOVED CHILDREN — I trust the Lord is your support; I know you are in trouble; it cannot be that opportunities have been wanting all this time, nor can it be that my children have been negligent: no, no, I cannot suppose it. My children are in trouble; they could not write that they were otherwise, and therefore remain silent until they can write the issue. It is proper, and sure the Lord feeds me with comfort. O the comfort of knowing that the Almighty God is their own reconciled Father by an everlasting covenant; Christ, the Mediator and Surety, their Advocate, Brother, and Friend; the Holy Ghost their Teacher, Guide, and Comforter. It cannot be ill with my dear children, who are also God's dear children. My Father, I know it, thou chastenest for their profit. I know not where they are, nor how they fare. I know not what to ask for them; but thou art everywhere present, thine eye is upon them, thou knowest all their wants, all their burdens, all their bereavements, or whatever tries them. O let thy sensible presence be with them; open wide the leaves of that new testament in Christ's blood, and let them read their rich legacy, their unsearchable riches in Christ; give them confidence in thy wisdom and goodness, and sweet acquiescence in all thy dealings with them. Thou hast spared in mercy, perhaps now thou hast taken in mercy: yes, thy tender mercies are over all thy works, and a large ingredient in every cup thou puttest into the hand of thy children. It is well, it is well.
"Since writing the above, I have received my dear D——'s letter, second copy, by the way of London. The Lord is your God. and the God of your seed. John the Baptist leaped in the womb when the salutation of Mary sounded in his mother's ears; he was then a living soul, and an heir of salvation at that moment. If your babe was conceived in sin by the first covenant, he is an heir of grace by the second. Think it not hard; no, you do not think it hard that you have conceived him in sickness, carried him in sickness, and suffered the pangs of birth without the succeeding joy to make you forget your anguish. All this shall be for the glory of God, and that is what you seek; believe it now, you shall see it soon. I do sympathize; my fond heart had embraced a sweet babe added to the family for one taken. The Lord has taken this also; it is his due: I shall soon leave the mortal and join the immortal; five have joined the head, six remain; and one I know nothing of, more than that I cast him on the Lord, and look for mercy. I thank my God that he gave you the grace of resignation, and supported you in the solitary confinement. Alas, my child, did you listen for the voice of your babe? O, what a suspense; but let me stop — he had reached maturity ere that time; without the fight, obtained the victory; he is of the travail of the Redeemer's soul; children are God's heritage, the fruit of the womb his reward. Rest then in the Lord; this is to his glory, both without and within your soul."
"MAY 20, 1802.
"MY DEAR CHILDREN — Here am I in my little room, surrounded with every comfort, and as the provision of my God, I value all; but there lies the chief, my Bible, the testament of my dying, risen, ascended, reigning Saviour, bequeathing to me eternal life, executed in full, and made as sure as the promise and oath of God. The influences of the Holy Ghost on my mind, taking of the things of Christ, and showing them unto me; opening wide the leaves of that new testament, in which I read unsearchable riches, and my title to them sure: yes, sure, even to me, a base idolatrous gentile, a rebel against the eternal King, my Creator, Preserver, Provider; a backslider in heart and in life. What has such a one to do with a holy God? He hath said only return; and he himself hath turned to me, chastened, convinced, restored, comforted. His ways are not as our ways, nor his thoughts as our thoughts; but as the heavens are above the earth, so are his ways above our ways, and his thoughts high above our thoughts, and his plans above our conception. For although it is for ever true, that he is of purer eyes than to behold evil, and cannot look on iniquity; that his law has denounced a curse upon the transgressor who keepeth it not in every jot and tittle; it is for ever true, that this God is unchangeable in his nature and purposes. What he hath said, that will he do. It is for ever true, that I am all I have said, and worse, a sinner in heart, tongue, and practice; yet am I a beloved child, a justified one, an heir of God.
"Here is the testament, here is my charter with the seal of God upon it — JESUS, thou art the Secret of the Lord; thou art the Lion of the tribe of Judah, the root and offspring of David. Thou hast prevailed to open this book of secrets, to loose the seven seals, and lay open its mysteries. Thou Lamb of God, the appointed and anointed to the great work; in our room, and in our nature, thou hast sustained the curse. Thou hast obeyed the law; thou hast drunk the last drop of the last vial of that wrath which would have sunk my soul in the endless depths of misery; and I never could have expended one drop, but sunk deeper and deeper under it. O not unto me, not unto ministers, not unto any creature be the praise. As for me, I am, in a word, all that is vile in myself; ministers, providences, afflictions are just what God makes them; without his blessing they will not only pass without profiting, but Satan and corruption will make them ministers to themselves. Worthy is the Lamb that was slain, for he has redeemed me with his blood. Worthy is the Lamb to receive power, and riches, and wisdom, and strength, and honor, and glory, and blessing — to him, to him alone, be the praise; who, of an heir of hell, hath made an heir of heaven, by a substitutional righteousness wrought out in his own person: mine by free gift, in which I am completely justified. To this work let nothing be added, with this work let nothing be mixed.
"There is another work going on by the same Spirit of truth; also his purchase and gift — sanctification. In this I am called to occupy, watch, strive, fight. Life is given; means of support and growth provided; weapons of warfare — all things necessary to life and godliness: these are promised to the diligent use of means; and poverty, stagnation, discomfort threatened to the indolent. O how sovereign and gracious has my God been in his dealings with me in this respect also. For a sluggard have I been in the days of youth and the prime of life; yet to me hath he given the comforts promised only to the diligent. Here I sit on the verge of threescore; my heart in some good measure loosened from the world, although in full possession of it. Health, ease, plenty, elegance, friendship, respectability; old age welcome, death unstung become a familiar friend, the messenger of my Father to fetch me home to those mansions which my Redeemer has taken possession of in my name. My hope is strong for my offspring. Stately have been his steps of mercy towards them already, and he saved them from their mother's snares; he heard and answered my prayers, for his name's sake, and overruled my practices; he is my God, and the God of my children; the God of my children's children to the latest generation; my cup is full of comfort, temporal and spiritual. O praise him, praise him, for he is your God, and the God of your offspring also."
"JUNE 4, 1802.
"Making allowances for the difference of time, and supposing my dear children in health, all about them is in a racket. This is his majesty's birthday; and you are at this moment, perhaps, set in some social company, by invitation, to honor the anniversary, to repeat the wish of long life, health, and comfort to the lawful sovereign of Britain.
"Here sit I in my dear little room, with a lovely landscape in view; B. M——'s park in velvet verdure; the full-grown trees scattered thin to display the carpet, and in full foliage; the clump of willows weeping to the very ground, with a gentle wave agitated by the zephyr; while the other trees keep their firm, majestic posture; the Hudson river covered with vessels crowded with sail to catch the scanty breeze; some sweet little chirpers regaling the ear with their share of pleasure. I think I never heard any little warbler in this land sing so sweet as those which now salute my ear.
"These are thy glorious works, Parent of good.'
"Can all the philosophic ingenuity of London, this evening, produce such a scene? The gardens no doubt will be glorious, but the groundwork is also God's; but why say I that in particular? All is his; the very notes that warble through so many guilty throats are his creation; all the art of man cannot add to their number. Sweet bird, thy notes are innocent, O how sweet. Lovely trees — ye who stand erect, and ye who weep and wave; I wish no brighter scene. The shadows lengthen fast, so do yours and mine, my sovereign;* a few, a very few anniversaries, and we must change the scene — change to where no courtiers flatter, no false meteors blaze — where shadows flee away, realities appear, and nothing but realities will stand in any stead.
*Mrs. Graham received a pension as a British officer's widow until her death.
"O may we meet; for me, I nothing have, I nothing am. But One there is, who was and is all that the mind of saint or angel can conceive of glory and of happiness; and he is mine, and I am most blessed. Lengthen on, ye shadows, until all is shadow on these orbs of flesh. Then, O then,