1. You should read with this poem Saxe's "The Blind Men and the Elephant." Is it like any other selection you have read?
2. Does the chameleon actually change color? Wherein does the humor of the poem lie?
"Now," said Wardle, after a substantial lunch had
been done ample justice to, "what say you to an
hour on the ice? We shall have plenty of time."
"Capital," said Mr. Benjamin Allen.
"Prime," ejaculated Mr. Bob Sawyer. 5
"You skate, of course, Winkle?" said Wardle.
"Ye—yes; oh, yes!" replied Mr. Winkle. "I—I—am
rather out of practice."
"Oh, do skate, Mr. Winkle," said Arabella. "I like to
see it so much." 10
"Oh, it is so graceful," said another young lady.
A third young lady said it was "elegant," and a fourth expressed
her opinion that it was "swanlike."
"I should be very happy, I'm sure," said Mr. Winkle,
reddening; "but I have no skates." 15
This objection was at once overruled. Trundle had a
couple of pair, and the fat boy announced that there were
half a dozen more in the house; whereat Mr. Winkle expressed
exquisite delight and looked exquisitely uncomfortable. 5
Mr. Winkle, with his face and hands blue with the cold,
forced a gimlet into the soles of his feet, put his skates on
with the points behind, and got the straps into a very
complicated and entangled state, with the assistance of
Mr. Snodgrass, who knew rather less about skates than a 10
Hindu. At length, however, with the assistance of Mr.
Weller, the unfortunate skates were firmly screwed and
buckled on, and Mr. Winkle was raised to his feet.
"Now, then, sir," said Sam in an encouraging tone; "off
with you, and show 'em how to do it." 15
"Stop, Sam, stop," said Mr. Winkle, trembling violently
and clutching hold of Sam's arm with the grasp of a drowning
man. "How slippery it is, Sam."
"Not an uncommon thing upon ice, sir," replied Mr.
Weller. "Hold up, sir." 20
This last observation of Mr. Weller's bore reference to a
demonstration Mr. Winkle made at the instant, of a frantic
desire to throw his feet in the air and dash the back of his
head on the ice.
"These—these—are very awkward skates, ain't they, 25
Sam?" inquired Mr. Winkle, staggering.
"I'm afraid there's an awkward gentleman in 'em, sir,"
replied Sam.
"Now, Winkle," cried Mr. Pickwick, quite unconscious
that there was anything the matter. "Come, the ladies 30
are all anxiety."
"Yes, yes!" replied Mr. Winkle with a ghastly smile.
"Just a goin' to begin," said Sam, endeavoring to disengage
himself. "Now, sir, start off."
"Stop an instant, Sam," gasped Mr. Winkle, clinging
most affectionately to Mr. Weller. "I find I've got a
couple of coats at home that I don't want, Sam. You may 5
have them, Sam."
"Thank'ee, sir," replied Mr. Weller.
"Never mind touching your hat, Sam," said Mr. Winkle
hastily. "You needn't take your hand away to do that.
I meant to have given you five shillings this morning for a 10
Christmas box, Sam; I'll give it to you this afternoon,
Sam."
"You're very good, sir," replied Mr. Weller.
"Just hold me at first, Sam, will you?" said Mr. Winkle.
"There—that's right. I shall soon get in the way of it, 15
Sam. Not too fast, Sam; not too fast."
Mr. Winkle, stooping forward with his body half doubled
up, was being assisted over the ice by Mr. Weller in a very
singular and unswanlike manner when Mr. Pickwick most
innocently shouted from the opposite bank, 20
"Sam!"
"Sir?" said Mr. Weller.
"Here. I want you."
"Let go, sir," said Sam. "Don't you hear the governor
a callin'? Let go, sir." 25
With a violent effort Mr. Weller disengaged himself from
the grasp of the agonized Pickwickian; and in so doing
administered a considerable impetus to the unhappy Mr.
Winkle. With an accuracy which no degree of dexterity or
practice could have insured, that gentleman bore swiftly 30
down into the center of a group at the very moment when
Mr. Bob Sawyer was performing a flourish of unparalleled
beauty. Mr. Winkle struck wildly against him, and with a
wild crash they fell heavily down. Mr. Pickwick ran to the
spot. Bob Sawyer had risen to his feet, but Mr. Winkle
was far too wise to do anything of the kind in skates. He
was seated on the ice, making spasmodic efforts to smile; 5
but anguish was depicted on every lineament of his countenance.
Mr. Pickwick was excited and indignant. He beckoned
to Mr. Weller and said in a stern voice, "Take his skates
off." 10
"No; but really I had scarcely begun," remonstrated
Mr. Winkle.
"Take his skates off," repeated Mr. Pickwick firmly.
The command was not to be resisted. Mr. Winkle
allowed Sam to obey it in silence. 15
"Lift him up," said Mr. Pickwick. Sam assisted him
to rise.
Mr. Pickwick retired a few paces apart from the bystanders,
and beckoning his friend to approach, fixed a
searching look upon him and uttered in a low but distinct20
and emphatic tone these remarkable words:
"You're a humbug, sir."
"A what?" said Mr. Winkle, starting.
"A humbug, sir. I will speak plainer if you wish it.
An impostor, sir." 25
With these words, Mr. Pickwick turned slowly on his
heel and rejoined his friends.
While Mr. Pickwick was delivering himself of the sentiment
just recorded, Mr. Weller and the fat boy, having by
their joint endeavors cut out a slide, were exercising themselves 30
thereupon in a very masterly and brilliant manner.
Sam Weller, in particular, was displaying that beautiful
feat of fancy sliding which is currently denominated "knocking
at the cobbler's door," and which is achieved by skimming
over the ice on one foot and occasionally giving a two-penny
postman's knock upon it with the other. It was
a good long slide, and there was something in the motion 5
which Mr. Pickwick, who was very cold with standing still,
could not help envying.
"It looks a nice warm exercise, that, doesn't it?" he
inquired of Wardle, when that gentleman was thoroughly
out of breath by reason of the indefatigable manner in 10
which he had converted his legs into a pair of compasses
and drawn complicated problems on the ice.
"Ah, it does, indeed," replied Wardle. "Do you slide?"
"I used to do so, on the gutters, when I was a boy,"
replied Mr. Pickwick. 15
"Try it now," said Wardle.
Mr. Pickwick paused, considered, pulled off his gloves
and put them in his hat, took two or three short runs,
balked himself as often, and at last took another run and
went slowly and gravely down the slide with his feet about 20
a yard and a quarter apart, amidst the gratified shouts of
all the spectators.
It was the most intensely interesting thing to observe
the manner in which Mr. Pickwick performed his share
in the ceremony; to watch the torture of anxiety with 25
which he viewed the person behind, gaining upon him at
the imminent hazard of tripping him up; to see him
gradually expend the painful force which he had put on
at first and turn slowly round on the slide, with his face
towards the point from which he had started; to contemplate 30
the playful smile which mantled on his face when he had
accomplished the distance and the eagerness with which he
turned round when he had done so and ran after his predecessor,
his black gaiters tripping pleasantly through
the snow and his eyes beaming cheerfulness and gladness
through his spectacles. And when he was knocked down
(which happened upon the average every third round), 5
it was the most invigorating sight that can possibly be
imagined to behold him gather up his hat, gloves, and
handkerchief with a glowing countenance, and resume
his station in the rank with an ardor and enthusiasm which
nothing could abate. 10
The sport was at its height, the sliding was at the quickest,
the laughter was at the loudest, when a sharp, smart
crack was heard. There was a quick rush towards the bank,
a wild scream from the ladies, and a shout from Mr. Tupman.
A large mass of ice disappeared, the water bubbled 15
up over it, and Mr. Pickwick's hat, gloves, and handkerchief
were floating on the surface; and this was all of Mr.
Pickwick that anybody could see.
Dismay and anguish were depicted on every countenance;
the males turned pale, and the females fainted; Mr. Snodgrass 20
and Mr. Winkle grasped each other by the hand and
gazed at the spot where their leader had gone down, with
frenzied eagerness; while Mr. Tupman, by way of rendering
the promptest assistance and at the same time conveying
to any persons who might be within hearing the clearest 25
possible notion of the catastrophe, ran off across the country
at his utmost speed, screaming "Fire!" with all his
might and main.
It was at this very moment—when old Wardle and Sam
Weller were approaching the hole with cautious steps and 30
Mr. Benjamin Allen was holding a hurried consultation
with Mr. Bob Sawyer on the advisability of bleeding the
company generally, as an improving little bit of professional
practice—it was at this very moment that a head, face,
and shoulders emerged from beneath the water, and disclosed
the features and spectacles of Mr. Pickwick.
"Do you feel the bottom there, old fellow?" said Wardle. 5
"Yes, certainly," replied Mr. Pickwick, wringing the
water from his head and face and gasping for breath. "I
fell upon my back. I couldn't get on my feet at first."
The clay upon so much of Mr. Pickwick's coat as was yet
visible bore testimony to the accuracy of this statement;10
and as the fears of the spectators were still further relieved
by the fat boy's suddenly recollecting that the water was
nowhere more than five feet deep, prodigies of valor were
performed to get him out. After a vast quantity of splashing,
and cracking, and struggling, Mr. Pickwick was at 15
length fairly extricated from his unpleasant position and
once more stood on dry land.
—Pickwick Papers.
1. The members of the Pickwick Club herein presented are Mr. Pickwick, a heavy, pompous, dignified gentleman, and three friends, Messrs. Snodgrass, Winkle, and Tupman. Characterize each. Weller is a guide-valet. Pickwick Papers records the experiences of the Club during a series of tours.
2. How many episodes are related?
3. Why didn't Winkle admit his inability to skate? What do you consider the funniest part of the Winkle story?
4. What is ludicrous about Pickwick's sliding? When he fell into the water, why was there so little assistance offered at first, and so much later?
5. If you have had a funny experience of your own on ice, tell it to the class.
1. Tell the story of Icarus and Dædalus. Compare Darius's flying machine with a modern airplane. When and by whom was the airplane perfected as a practical flyer?
2. How much of the story is told from Darius's standpoint? Through whose eyes do we see the rest?
3. Describe Darius. Is he really a clever lad? Why do we laugh at his experiment?
4. The poem is written partially in dialect. Explain what "dialect" is. What other poems do you know that are in dialect?
5. J. T. Trowbridge (1827-1916) was a clever American writer of verse and fiction, chiefly boys' books. Can you find anything of interest about him?
How do you do, Cornelia? I heard you were sick, and
I stepped in to cheer you up a little. My friends
often say, "It's such a comfort to see you, Aunt Doleful.
You have such a flow of conversation, and are so lively."
Besides, I said to myself as I came up the stairs, "Perhaps 5
it's the last time I'll ever see Cornelia Jane alive."
You don't mean to die yet, eh? Well, now, how do you
know? You can't tell. You think you are getting better;
but there was poor Mrs. Jones sitting up, and everyone
saying how smart she was, and all of a sudden she was taken 10
with spasms in the heart and went off like a flash.
But you must be careful and not get anxious or excited.
Keep quite calm and don't fret about anything. Of course
things can't go just as if you were downstairs; and I
wondered whether you knew your little Billy was sailing
about in a tub on the mill pond, and that your little Sammy 5
was letting your little Jimmy down from the veranda
roof in a clothes basket.
Goodness! what's the matter? I guess Providence'll
take care of them. Don't look so. You thought Bridget
was watching them? Well, no, she isn't. I saw her talking10
to a man at the gate. He looked to me like a burglar.
No doubt she let him take the impression of the door key
in wax, and then he'll get in and murder you all. There
was a family at Murray Hill all killed last week.
How is Mr. Kobble? Well, but finds it warm in town, eh? 15
Well, I should think he would. They are dropping down by
hundreds there with sunstroke. You must prepare your
mind to have him brought home any day. Anyhow, a
trip on these railroad trains is just risking your life every
time you take one. Back and forth every day as he is, 20
is just trifling with danger.
Scarlet fever has broken out in the village, Cornelia.
Little Isaac Potter has it, and I saw your Jimmy playing
with him last Saturday.
Well, I must be going now. I've got another sick 25
friend, and I sha'n't consider my duty done unless I cheer
her up a little before I sleep. You don't look so well as you did
when I came in. But if anything happens, send for me at
once. If I can't do anything else, I can cheer you up a little.
1. This is an old, favorite recitation. What do you think of this type of humor as compared with Mark Twain's?
Thomas Gradgrind was proud of himself. He was a "self-made" man who attributed his own successes in life to his mastery of Facts. He is here represented as officially testing a school upon its knowledge of his favorite Facts.
"Now what I want is Facts. Teach these boys and
girls nothing but Facts. Facts alone are wanted
in life. You can only form the minds of reasoning animals
upon Facts; nothing else will ever be of any service to
them. This is the principle on which I bring up my own 5
children. Stick to Facts, sir; nothing but Facts."
The speaker, and the schoolmaster, and the third grown
person present, all backed a little and swept with their eyes
the inclined plane of little vessels then and there arranged
in order, ready to have gallons of facts poured into them 10
until they were full to the brim.
Thomas Gradgrind, sir. A man of realities. A man of
facts and calculations. A man who proceeds upon the
principle that two and two are four and nothing over,
and who is not to be talked into allowing for anything over. 15
Thomas Gradgrind, sir, with a rule and a pair of scales
and the multiplication table always in his pocket, sir,
ready to weigh and measure any parcel of human nature
and tell you exactly what it comes to.
It is a mere question of figures, a case of simple arithmetic. 20
You might hope to get some other nonsensical
belief into the head of George Gradgrind, or Augustus
Gradgrind, or John Gradgrind, or Joseph Gradgrind; but
into the head of Thomas Gradgrind—no, sir!
Indeed, he seemed to be a kind of cannon loaded to the
muzzle with facts.
"Girl number twenty," said Mr. Gradgrind, squarely 5
pointing with his square forefinger. "I don't know that
girl. Who is that girl?"
"Sissy Jupe, sir," explained number twenty, blushing,
standing up, and curtsying.
"Sissy is not a name," said Mr. Gradgrind. "Don't 10
call yourself Sissy. Call yourself Cecilia."
"Father calls me Sissy, sir," returned the young girl in a
trembling voice and with another curtsy.
"Then he has no business to do it," said Mr. Gradgrind.
"Tell him he mustn't. Cecilia Jupe. Let me see. What 15
is your father?"
"He belongs to the horse riding, if you please, sir."
Mr. Gradgrind frowned, and waved off the objectionable
calling with his hand.
"We don't want to know anything about that, here. 20
You mustn't tell us about that, here. Your father breaks
horses, don't he?"
"If you please, sir, when they can get any to break, they
do break horses in the ring, sir."
"You mustn't tell us about the ring, here. Very well, 25
then. Describe your father as a horse breaker. He
doctors sick horses, I dare say."
"Oh, yes, sir!"
"Very well, then. He is a veterinary surgeon, a farrier,
and a horse breaker. Give me your definition of a horse." 30
Sissy Jupe was thrown into the greatest alarm by this
demand.
"Girl number twenty unable to define a horse!" said
Mr. Gradgrind. "Girl number twenty possessed of no
facts in reference to one of the commonest of animals!
Some boy's definition of a horse. Bitzer, yours."
The square finger, moving here and there, lighted suddenly 5
on Bitzer, perhaps because he chanced to sit in the
same ray of sunlight which irradiated Sissy.
"Bitzer," said Thomas Gradgrind, "your definition of a
horse."
"Quadruped. Graminivorous. Forty teeth: namely, 10
twenty-four grinders, four eyeteeth, and twelve incisors.
Sheds coat in the spring; in marshy countries, sheds hoofs
too. Hoofs hard, but requiring to be shod with iron.
Age known by marks in the mouth."
"Now, girl number twenty," said Mr. Gradgrind, "you 15
know what a horse is."
She curtsied again and would have blushed deeper, if she
could have blushed deeper than she had blushed all this
time.
The third gentleman now stepped forth. A mighty man at 20
cutting and drying, was he; a government officer; always
in training, always with a system to force down the general
throat, always to be heard of at the bar of his little public
office.
"Very well," said this gentleman briskly, smiling and 25
folding his arms. "That's a horse. Now, let me ask you,
girls and boys, would you paper a room with representations
of horses?"
After a pause, one half the children cried in a chorus,
"Yes, sir!" Upon which the other half, seeing in the 30
gentleman's face that "yes" was wrong, cried out in a
chorus, "No, sir!"—as the custom is in these examinations.
"Of course not. Why wouldn't you?"
A pause. One corpulent slow boy, with a wheezy manner
of breathing, ventured to answer, "Because I wouldn't
paper a room at all; I'd paint it."
"You must paper it," said the gentleman rather warmly. 5
"Yes, you must paper it," said Thomas Gradgrind,
"whether you like it or not. Don't tell us you wouldn't
paper it. What do you mean, boy?"
"I'll explain to you, then," said the gentleman, after a
dismal pause, "why you wouldn't paper a room with representations 10
of horses. Do you ever see horses walking
up and down the sides of a room in reality—in fact?
Do you?"
"Yes, sir!" from one half. "No, sir!" from the other.
"Of course not," said the gentleman, with an indignant 15
look at the wrong half. "Why, then, you are not to see
anywhere what you don't see in fact; you are not to have
anywhere what you don't have in fact. What is called
taste is only another name for fact. This is a new principle,
a discovery, a great discovery," said the gentleman. "Now 20
I'll try you again. Suppose you were going to carpet a
room, would you use a carpet having a representation of
flowers upon it?"
There being a general conviction by this time that "No,
sir!" was always the right answer to this gentleman, the 25
chorus of "No," was very strong. Only a few feeble
stragglers said, "Yes"; among them Sissy Jupe.
"Girl number twenty," said the gentleman, smiling in
the calm strength of knowledge.
Sissy blushed and stood up. 30
"So you would carpet your room with representations of
flowers, would you?" said the gentleman. "Why?"
"If you please, sir, I am very fond of flowers," returned
the girl.
"And is that why you would put tables and chairs upon
them and have people walking over them with heavy
boots?" 5
"It wouldn't hurt them, sir. They wouldn't crush and,
wither, if you please, sir. They would be the pictures of
what was very pretty and pleasant, and I fancy—"
"Aye, aye, aye! But you mustn't fancy," cried the
gentleman, quite elated by coming so happily to his point. 10
"That's it! You are never to fancy."
"You are not, Cecilia Jupe," Thomas Gradgrind solemnly
repeated, "to do anything of that kind."
"You are to be in all things regulated and governed,"
said the gentleman, "by Fact. You must discard the word 15
'fancy' altogether. You have nothing to do with it.
You don't walk upon flowers in fact; you cannot be allowed
to walk upon flowers in carpets. You never meet with
quadrupeds going up and down the walls; you must not
have quadrupeds represented upon the walls. You must 20
use," said the gentleman, "for all these purposes, combinations
and modifications (in primary colors) of mathematical
figures which are susceptible of proof and demonstration.
This is the new discovery. This is Fact. This
is taste." 25
—Hard Times.
1. Make a list of adjectives that fit the character
of Gradgrind.
2. Does Dickens agree with Gradgrind's ideas of
teaching? Prove your answer. Define irony; sarcasm.
Does either of these words apply to Dickens's
presentation of Gradgrind?
3. What do you think of Gradgrind's theories? How
far do you agree with him? In what do you disagree?
Dr. Oliver Wendell Holmes (1809-1894) was born at Cambridge, Mass. Although he practiced his profession of medicine, was Professor of Anatomy and Physiology at the Harvard Medical School, and wrote some scientific works, he is best known as the author of poems and essays, mostly humorous, light, and fanciful. He was very popular in his time as a witty conversationalist and a brilliant speech maker.