Having accomplished this part of my business, I strolled to one of the most frequented caravanserais in the city, to see whether, perchance, some circumstance might not turn up to advance my master's views. As I approached it, I found all the avenues blocked up with mules and camels heavily laden, intermixed with travellers, some of whom wearing a white band, the distinguishing mark of the pilgrims who have visited the tomb of Iman Reza, at Meshed, informed me that the caravan came from the province of Khorassan. I waited to see it gradually unravel from the maze of the narrow streets, and, after a due allowance of wrangling and abuse between the mule and camel drivers, I saw it take up its abode in the square of the building.
'Perhaps', said I, 'my good stars may throw some of my former acquaintance at Meshed into my way'; and I looked at each traveller with great earnestness. It was true that many years had now elapsed since my memorable bastinado, and that time would have made great changes in the appearances of men; but still, I, who knew each face by heart, and had studied its expression as it inhaled my smoke, hoped that my recollection would not fail me.
I had despaired of making a discovery, and was about to walk away, when a certain nose, a certain round back, and a certain projecting paunch, met my eye, and arrested my attention.
'Those forms are familiar to me,' said I; 'they are connected with some of my early ideas; and assuredly are the property of one who is something more than a common acquaintance.' My first master, Osman Aga, came into my mind; but all idea of him I immediately banished, because it was more than certain that he had long since fallen a victim to the horrors of his captivity among the Turcomans. Still I looked at him, and at every glance I felt convinced it was either he, his brother, or his ghost. I approached to where he was seated, in the hope of hearing him speak; but he seemed to be torpid (which was another characteristic in favour of my suspicion), and I had waited some time in vain, when, to my surprise, I heard him, in a voice well known to my ears, inquire of a merchant who was passing, 'In God's name, what may be the price of lambs' skins at Constantinople?'
'Oh, for once,' said I, 'I cannot be mistaken! You can be no one but Osman,'—and I immediately made myself known to him.
He was as slow to believe that it was Hajji Baba who accosted him, as I had been to make him out Osman Aga.
After our expressions of mutual astonishment had somewhat subsided, we began to survey each other. I discussed the greyness of his beard, and he complimented me upon the beauty and blackness of mine. He talked with great serenity of the lapse of time, and of the nothingness of this world, from which I perceived that his belief in predestination had rather increased than diminished by his misfortunes, and which alone could account for the equanimity with which he had borne them. In his usual concise manner, he related what had befallen him since we last met. He said, that after the first feelings of misery at his captivity had gone by, his time passed more agreeably than he had expected; for he had nothing to do but to sit with the camels, whose nature being of the same calm and philosophic cast as his own, suited his quiet and sedentary habits. His food was indifferent, but then he had excellent water; and the only privation which he seemed to regret was tobacco,—a want which long previous habit rendered infinitely painful. Years had run on in this manner, and he had made up his mind to pass the remainder of his life with the camels, when his destiny took another turn, and he once more had the cheering hope of being restored to liberty. One, who gave himself out for a prophet, appeared among the Turcomans. According to the custom of such personages, he established his influence by pretending to work two or three miracles, and which were received as such by that credulous people. His word became a law. The most celebrated and experienced marauders freely laid their spoils at his feet, and willingly listed under his banner, in whatever enterprise he chose to propose. Osman Aga presented himself before him, asserted his privileges of a Sûni, and, moreover, of being an emir, and at length succeeded in making the impostor procure his liberty without ransom, which he did, in order to advance the glory of the true faith. Once free, he lost no time in proceeding to Meshed, where, to his great good fortune, he met merchants from Bagdad, one of whom being nearly connected to him by marriage, advanced him a small sum of money to trade with. He received encouraging accounts of the state of the Turkish markets for the produce of Bokhara, and thither he proceeded to make his purchases on the spot. Owing to his long residence among the Turcomans, he had acquired much useful knowledge concerning their manners and customs—particularly on the subject of buying and selling—and this enabled him to trade, with much success, between Bokhara and Persia, until he had gained a sufficient sum to enable his return to his country with advantage. He was now on the road to Constantinople, with several mules laden with the merchandise of Bokhara, Samarcand, and the east of Persia; and having disposed of it there, it was then his intention to return to his native city, Bagdad. He expressed, however, his intention to remain at Tehran until the spring caravan should assemble, in order to enjoy some of the pleasures of an imperial residence, after having lived so long among savages, as he called the Turcomans, and he inquired from me how he might most agreeably pass his time.
My fair charges immediately came into my mind; and recollecting of old that he was a great advocate for the marriage state, I proposed a wife to him without loss of time.
Certainly, thought I, nothing was ever more strongly pronounced than the doctrine of predestination has been in this instance. Here, one of my masters arrives from regions beyond the rising of the sun, to espouse the widow of another of my masters, who dies just at the very nick of time to produce the meeting, which I, who come from the countries of the south, step in to promote.
The hakîm's widow was the fattest of the three, and therefore I made no scruple in proposing her to Osman, who at once acceded to my offer. Softening down the little asperities of her temper, making much of her two eyebrows in one, and giving a general description of her person, suited to the Ottoman taste, I succeeded in giving a very favorable opinion to the bridegroom of his intended.
I then proceeded to inform the mollah Nadân of my success, who appeared to listen with delight to the adventures of this couple, which I related to him with scrupulous detail. He directed me how to proceed, and informed me, in order to make the marriage lawful, that a vakeel, or trustee, must appear on the part of the woman, and another on that of the man. That the woman's vakeel having beforehand agreed upon the terms of the marriage, proceeded to ask the following question of the man's vakeel, in the Arabic tongue.
'Have you agreed to give your soul to me upon such and such conditions?' to which the other answers, 'I have agreed'; and then the parties are held to be lawfully joined together. Nadân himself proposed to officiate on the part of the hakîm's widow, and I on the part of Osman; and it was left to my ingenuity to obtain as large a fee as possible for ourselves, on this happy occasion.
I forthwith communicated the joyful tidings to the khanum, as I still called her, who did not fail to excite the envy of her other companions, for she immediately laid her success to her superior beauty, and to that never-failing object of her care, her two eyebrows in one. She was, as the reader may be allowed to suppose, in great anxiety at her appearance; for she dreaded not being corpulent enough for her Turk, and from what I could judge, rather doubted the brilliancy of her eye, from the great quantity of black paint which she had daubed on her eyelids.
I left her to return to Osman Aga, who, good man, was also arming himself for conquest; and he seemed to think that, owing to his long residence among camels, he might have imbibed so much of their natures as to have become a fit subject for the perfumes of musk and ambergris. Accordingly, he went to the bath, his grey beard was dyed a glossy black; his hands received a golden tinge; and his mustachios were invited to curl upwards towards the corners of his eyes, instead of downwards into his mouth, as they usually had done.
He then arrayed himself in his best, and followed me to the house of the mollah Nadân, where owing to this change in his appearance, he very well passed off for a man at least ten years younger than he was in reality.
As soon as the parties came in sight of each other, an unconcerned bystander would have been amused with their first glances—he, the bridegroom, endeavouring to discover what he was about to espouse—she, the bride, making play with her veil in such an artful manner as to induce his belief that it concealed celestial charms. But I was too deeply interested in the game to make it matter of amusement. Besides, more than once, a certain fifty ducats that had formerly belonged to Osman, and which I had appropriated to my own use, came into my mind, and made me fear that it also might have a place in his: 'and if,' said I, 'he gets displeased and angry, who knows what ashes may not fall upon my head!'
However, they were married; and I believe most truly that he did not succeed in getting one glimpse of his intended until I had pronounced the awful words, 'I agree'; when in his impatience he partly pulled her veil on one side, and I need not say that he was far from fainting with delight.
As soon as he was well satisfied that his charmer was not a Zuleikha, he called me to him, and said, 'Hajji, I thought that youth, at least, she would have possessed; but she is more wrinkled than any camel. How is this?'
I got out of the scrape as well as I was able, by assuring him that she had once been the flower of the royal harem, and reminded him that nothing had so much to do with marriage as destiny.
'Ah! that destiny', said he, 'is an answer for everything; but be its effects what it may, it can no more make an old hag a young woman, than it can make one and one three.'
Sorely did I fear that he would return his bargain upon our hands; but when he found that it was impossible to expect anything better in a mutî, a class of females, who generally were the refuse of womankind,—old widows, and deserted wives; and who, rather than live under the opprobrium that single life entails in our Mahomedan countries, would put up with anything that came under the denomination of husband, he agreed to take her to his home. I expected, like a hungry hawk, who, the instant he is unhooded, pounces upon his prey, that Osman as soon as he had got a sight of his charmer, would have carried her off with impatience; but I was disappointed. He walked leisurely on to his room in the caravanserai, and told her that she might follow him whenever it suited her convenience.
Upon a closer acquaintance with my master, the mollah Nadân, I found that, besides his being the most covetous of men, he was also the most ambitious; and that his great and principal object was to become the chief priest of Tehran. To that he turned all his thoughts, and left nothing untried which might bring him into notice, either as a zealous practiser of the ordinances of his religion, or a persecutor of those who might be its enemies. He was the leader in prayer at the principal mosque; he lectured at the royal medresseh, or college; and whenever he could, he encouraged litigants to appeal to him for the settlement of their disputes. On every occasion, particularly at the festival of the No Rouz, when the whole corps of mollahs are drawn up in array before the king, to pray for his prosperity, he always managed to make himself conspicuous by the over-abundance of adulation which he exhibited, and by making his sonorous voice predominate over that of others.
By such means, he had acquired considerable celebrity among the people, although those who knew him better held him in no great estimation. An opportunity soon occurred which abundantly proved this, and which, as I will now narrate, gave an entire new turn to my fortunes.
The winter had passed over our heads, and spring was already far advanced, when reports reached the capital, that in the southern provinces of the kingdom, particularly in Lar and Fars, there had been such a total want of rain that serious apprehensions of a famine were entertained. As the year rolled on, the same apprehensions prevailed in the more northern provinces; and a drought, such as before was never known, gave rise to the most dismal forebodings. The Shah ordered prayers to be put up at all the mosques in the city for rain, and the mollah bashi was very active in enforcing the order.
My master Nadân had there too good an opportunity of manifesting his religious zeal, and of making himself conspicuous by his exertions, not to take advantage of it; and he lost not a moment in giving himself all the stir in his power. Conscious of the influence he had obtained over the populace, he went a step farther than his rival the chief priest, and invited an immense crowd of the lower orders to follow him to a large open space without the city, where he took the lead in prayer.
The drought still continuing, the Shah ordered all ranks of people to attend him, and join in the supplications which he had first commenced. He accounted this so great a triumph, that his zeal now knew no bounds. He caused all sects, Christians, Jews, and Guebres, as well as Mussulmans, to put up their prayers: still the heavens were inexorable; no rain came, the despair increased, and Nadân redoubled his zeal.
At length, one morning when the weather was more than usually sultry, he addressed a mob which he had purposely gathered round his house, in words something to this purpose:—
'Is there nothing more to be done, O men of Tehran! to avert this misfortune which awaits the land of Irâk? 'Tis plain that the heavens have declared against us, and that this city contains some, whose vices and crimes must bring the Almighty vengeance upon us. Who can they be but the kâfirs, the infidels, those transgressors of our law, those wretches, who defile the purity of our walls by openly drinking wine, that liquor forbidden by the holy Prophet (upon whom be blessing and peace!) and by making our streets the scene of their vices? Let us go; follow me to where these odious wine-bibbers live; let us break their jars, and at least destroy one of the causes of the displeasure of Allah against us.'
Upon this a general stir ensued; and fanaticism, such as I never thought could be excited in the breasts of men, broke out in the most angry expressions, which were only the forerunners of the violence that soon after ensued. Nadân, putting himself at the head of the crowd, haranguing as he pressed onwards, and followed by me—who had become as outrageous a fanatic as the rest—led us to the Armenian quarter of the city.
The peaceable Christians, seeing this body of enraged Mohamedans making for their houses, knew not what to do. Some barricaded their doors, others fled, and others again stood transfixed, like men impaled. But they did not long remain in doubt of our intentions; for first they were assailed with volleys of stones, and then with such shouts of execration and abuse, that they expected nothing less than a general massacre to ensue.
The mollah entered the houses of the principal Armenians, followed by the most violent of the mob, and began an active search for wine. He made no distinction between the women's apartments and the public ones, but broke open every door; and when at length he had found the jars in which the liquor was contained, I leave the reader to imagine what was the havoc which ensued. They were broken into a thousand pieces; the wine flowed in every direction; and the poor owners could do nothing but look on and wring their hands.
By the time that this ceremony had been performed in every house, the fury of the mob had risen to the utmost, and from the houses they proceeded to the church, which being forced open, they demolished everything within—books, crucifixes, ornaments, furniture—nothing was spared; and as there would not be wanting abundance of rogues on such occasions, it was soon discovered that whatever valuables the despoiled had possessed were carried away.
The ruin was now complete; and nothing more was left to the fury of the mob but the unfortunate sufferers themselves, who perhaps would next have been attacked, had not a king's ferash appeared, accompanied by one of the principal Armenians, and their presence produced an almost instantaneous return to reason.
Apprehensive of the consequences of their conduct, all Nadân's followers made a precipitate retreat, leaving that revered personage and myself to face the king's officer. I presume our feelings will not be much envied when we heard him inform us, that the King of Kings demanded our immediate presence. The mollah looked at me, and I at him; and, perhaps, two bearded men never looked more like raw fools than we did at that moment. He endeavoured to temporize, and requested our conductor to accompany him to his house, in order that he might put on his red cloth stockings.
'There will be no occasion for red cloth stockings,' said the ferash, dryly.
This produced a universal tremor in the mollah, and I must own that it communicated itself to me in no agreeable manner. 'But what have I done, in the name of the Prophet?' exclaimed he:—'the enemies of our faith must be overthrown. Is it not so?' said he to the ferash.
'You will see,' returned the impenetrable man of blows.
We at length reached the palace, and at the entrance found the grand vizier, seated with the mollah bashi, in the chief executioner's apartment.
As we stood at the window, the grand vizier said to the mollah Nadân, 'In the name of Ali, what is this that we hear? Have your wits forsaken you? Do you forget that there is a king in Tehran?'
Then the mollah bashi exclaimed, 'And who am I, that you should presume to take the lead against the infidels?'
'Conduct them before the king,' exclaimed the executioner, as he arose and took his staff of office in hand. 'Do not keep the Centre of the Universe waiting.'
More dead than alive, we were paraded through the avenues of the palace, and then stepped through the small low door, which introduced us into the enclosed garden, where we found the king seated in an upper room.
As we approached, I perceived the august monarch twisting his mustachios, which is always esteemed a sign of wrath. I cast a glance at Nadân, and I saw him streaming from every pore. We took our shoes off, as soon as we had come within sight of him, and advanced to the brink of the marble basin of water. The party who stood before the king consisted of the mollah bashi, the chief executioner, the Armenian, Nadân, and myself.
The chief executioner then placed his staff of office on the ground, and making a low prostration, said, with all the prefatory form of words usual in addressing the Shah, 'This is the mollah Nadân, and this his servant,' pointing to me.
'Say, mollah,' said the king, addressing himself to my master in a very composed tone of voice, 'how long is it since you have undertaken to ruin my subjects? Who gave you the power? Have you become a prophet? or do you perhaps condescend to make yourself the king? Say, fellow, what dirt is this that you have been eating?'
The culprit, who on every other occasion never wanted words, here lost all power of utterance. He stammered out a few incoherent sentences about infidels, wine, and the want of rain, and then remained immovable.
'What does he say?' said the king to the mollah bashi. 'I have not learnt from whom he claims his authority.'
'May I be your sacrifice,' said the chief priest; 'he says, that he acted for the benefit of your majesty's subjects who wanted rain, which they could not get so long as the infidels drank wine in Tehran.'
'So you destroy part of my subjects to benefit the remainder! By the king's beard,' said the king to Nadân, 'tell me, do I stand for nothing in my own capital? Are a parcel of poor dogs of infidels to be ruined under my nose, without my being asked a question whether it be my will or not that they should be so? Speak, man; what dream have you been dreaming? Your brain has dried up.' Then raising his voice, he said, 'After all, we are something in our dominions, and the kâfirs, though such they be, shall know it. Here, ferashes' (calling his officers to him), 'here, tear this wretch's turban from his head and his cloak from his back; pluck the beard from his chin; tie his hands behind him, place him on an ass with his face to the tail, parade him through the streets, and then thrust him neck and shoulders out of the city, and let his hopeful disciple (pointing to me) accompany him.'
Happy was I not to have been recognized for the lover of the unfortunate Zeenab. My fate was paradise compared to that of my master; for never was order more completely executed than that which had passed the Shah's lips.
Nadân's beard was ripped from his chin with as much ease by the ferashes as if they were plucking a fowl; and then, with abundance of blows to hasten our steps, they seized upon the first ass which they met, and mounted the priest, the once proud and ambitious priest, upon it, and paced him slowly through the streets. I walked mournfully behind, having had my mollah's shawl torn from my head, and my hirkeh (cloak) from my back.
When we had reached one of the gates Nadân was dismounted, and with scarcely a rag to our backs, we were turned out into the open country; and it is worthy of remark, that no sooner had we left the city than rain began to pour in torrents, as if the heavens had been waiting to witness the disgrace of two of Persia's greatest rogues, and to give the mollah Nadân the lie in favour of the poor, injured, and ruined Armenians.
'So,' said I to my companion, as soon as we were left to ourselves, 'so I am indebted to you for this piece of happiness. If I had thought that this adventure was to have been the result of the mûshtehed's recommendation, you would never have seen Hajji Baba in this trim. What could it signify to you whether rain fell or no, or whether the Armenians got drunk or remained sober? This is what we have got by your officiousness.'
The mollah was in too pitiable a condition for me to continue upbraiding him any longer. We walked in silence by the side of each other in the saddest manner possible, until we reached the first village on our road. Here we made a halt, in order to deliberate upon what we should do. My unfortunate companion was expelled the city, therefore it was impossible for him to show himself in it until the storm had blown over; but as we were both very anxious to know what had become of our respective properties—he of his house and effects, I of my clothes, my money, and mule,—it was determined that I should return and gain the necessary intelligence.
I entered Tehran in the evening, and, making myself as little recognizable as possible, I slunk through the streets to the mollah's house. At the first glimpse I discovered that we were entirely ruined; for it was in possession of a swarm of harpies who made free property of everything that fell under their hands. One of the first persons whom I met coming from it was the very ferash who had been sent by the Shah to conduct us to his presence; and he was mounted on my mule, with a bundle in his lap before him, doubtless containing my wardrobe, or that of the mollah.
So borne down was I by this sight, and so fearful of being discovered, that I hurried away from the spot; and, scarcely knowing whither I was bending my steps, I strolled into a bath, situated not far from the house of our enemy the chief priest. I went in, undressed myself, and it being almost dark, I was scarcely perceived by the bathing attendants. Going from the first heated room into the hottest of all, I there took my station in a dark recess, unseen by any one, and gave free course to my thoughts. I considered to what I could now possibly turn my hands for a livelihood: for fortune seemed to have abandoned me for ever, and it appeared that I was marked out for the stricken deer, as the choice game of misfortune.
'I no sooner fall in love,' said I, musing, 'than the king himself becomes my rival, slays my mistress, and degrades me from my employment. I am the lawful heir to a man of undoubted wealth: he lives just long enough to acknowledge me; and although everybody tells me that I ought to be rich, yet I have the mortification to see myself cheated before my face, and I turn out a greater beggar than ever. The most devout and powerful man of the law in Persia takes a fancy to me, and secures to me what I expect will be a happy retreat for life: my master in an evil hour prays for the blessings of heaven to be poured upon us, instead of which we are visited with its vengeance, driven as exiles from the city, and lose all our property.' Never did man count up such a sum of miseries as I did when seated in the corner of the bath. The world seemed for ever gone from me, and I wished for nothing better than to die in the very spot in which I had nestled myself.
The bath had now been almost entirely abandoned by the bathers, when of a sudden a stir ensued, and I perceived a man walk in, with a certain degree of parade, whom, through the glimmering of light that was still left, I recognized to be the mollah bashi in person. Neither he nor his attendants perceived me; and as soon as he was left to himself (for so he thought) he immediately got into the reservoir of hot water, or the hazneh (the treasury), as it is called in the baths of Persia.
Here I heard him for some time splashing about and puffing with all his might; a sort of playfulness which struck me as remarkable for so grave and sedate a character; and then a most unusual floundering, attended with a gurgling of the throat, struck my ear.
I conceived that he might be practising some extraordinary bodily exercise, and curiosity impelled me to rise gently from my corner, and with all the precaution possible, to steal softly on the tips of my toes to the aperture of the reservoir, and look in.
To my horror, I perceived the head of the law at his last gasp, apparently without a struggle left in him. It was evident that he had been seized with a fit, and had been drowned before he could call for help.
All the terrible consequences of this unfortunate event stared me full in the face. 'What can now hinder me,' said I, 'from being taken up as his murderer? Everybody knew how ill-disposed against him was my master, the mollah Nadân, and I shall be called the vile instrument of his enmity.'
Whilst making these reflections, standing upon the step that leads into the reservoir, the mollah bashi's servant, followed by a bathing attendant, came in, with the warm linen that is used on leaving the bath; and seeing a man apparently coming out of the water, naturally took me for the deceased, and without any words proceeded to rub me down and to put on the bathing linen. This gave me time for thought; and as I foresaw an adventure that might perhaps lead me safely out of the scrape into which my destiny had thrown me, I let it take its course, and at once resolved to personify the chief priest.
A dim lamp, suspended from on high, was the only light that shone in the large vault of the dressing-room; and as I happened to be about the size and stature of the deceased, his servants, who were without suspicion, very naturally took me for their master. I had known and seen a great deal of him during my stay with the Mollah Nadân, and, therefore, was sufficiently acquainted with the manners of the man to be able to copy him for the short time it would take to be attended upon by his servants, until we reached his house. The most difficult part of the imposture would be, when I should enter the women's apartments; for I was quite unacquainted with the locality there, and totally ignorant of the sort of footing he was upon with the inmates of his anderûn. Indeed, I once heard that he was a perfect tyrant over the fairer part of the creation; and as much gossip was carried on at my master's, it came to my recollection, that it had been said he waged a continual war with his lawful wife, for certain causes of jealousy which his conduct was said to promote. He was a man of few words, and when he spoke generally expressed himself in short broken sentences; and as he affected to use words of Arabic origin on all occasions, more gutteral sounds obtruded themselves upon the ear than are generally heard from those who talk pure Persian.
I did not permit myself to open my lips during the whole time that I was dressing. I kept my face in shade as much as possible; and when the waterpipe was offered to me, I smoked it in the manner that I had seen the chief priest do; that is, taking two or three long whiffs, and then disgorging a seemingly interminable stream of smoke.
One of the servants appeared to be struck by something unusual, as I pronounced my Khoda hafiz! to the owner of the bath upon leaving it; but all suspicion was at an end when they felt the weight which I gave myself, as they helped me to mount the horse that was in waiting.
I deliberately dismounted at the gate of the house of the deceased; and although I bungled about the passages, yet, following the man who seemed to act as the confidential servant, I came to the little door which leads into the anderûn. I permitted him to do what he no doubt was daily accustomed to do, and just as he had opened the door, and I had advanced two or three paces, he shouted out, 'Cheragh biar, bring lights,' and then retired.
A clatter of slippers and women's voices was then immediately heard, and two young slaves came running towards me with tapers in their hands, apparently striving who should first reach me.
The largest apartment of the building was lighted up, and I could perceive in it more women than one. That I took to be the residence of the principal personage, the now widow of the deceased; and I dreaded lest the slaves should conduct me thither. But, aided by my good stars, I must have fallen upon a most propitious moment, when the mollah bashi and his wife had quarrelled; an event which seemed to be understood by my conductors, who, seeing me unwilling to proceed to the lighted apartment, drew me on to a door which led into a small inner court, where I found a khelwet, or retiring room, into which they introduced me. How to get rid of them was my next care; for as they had walked before me, they could not have got a sight of my face, and had they entered the room with me, perhaps they would have made a discovery fatal to my safety. I took the light from the hand of one, and dismissed the other, with a sign of the head. Had I been the same inconsiderate youth as at the time of my acquaintance with Zeenab, perhaps I should have committed some act of imprudence that might have led to my discovery; but now I eyed the two young slaves with apprehension and even with terror; and certainly one of the most agreeable moments of my existence was, when I saw them turn their backs upon me and leave me to my own meditations. The change in my fortune, which had taken place during the last hour, was so unexpected, that I felt like one treading between heaven and earth; and my first impulse, upon finding myself in safety, after having got over the most difficult part of the imposture, was at one moment to exult and be joyful, and at another to shiver with apprehension lest my good fortune might abandon me.
I carefully fastened the inside of my door as soon as I was left to myself, and put my candle in so remote a corner of the room, that if any one was curious to look through the painted glass window, they could never discover that I was not the mollah bashi.
Having done this, it then struck me that something more might be elicited from this adventure than I had at first imagined. 'Let me inspect the good man's pockets,' said I, 'and the roll of paper in his girdle; perhaps they may contain the history of my future plans.' In his right-hand pocket were two notes, a rosary, and his seals. In the left his ink-stand, a small looking-glass, and a comb. His watch was kept in the breast of his coat, and in another small pocket, nearly under his arm-pit, was his purse.
The purse first came under inspection, and there I found five tomauns in gold and two pieces of silver. The watch was gold, and of English manufacture. His inkstand, beautifully painted, was also valuable, and contained a penknife, scissors, and pens. All these and the other trinkets I duly looked upon as my own (for I was determined to play the whole game), and I replaced them in their proper places on my person. The notes then came under inspection. One was to this purpose, without a seal.
'O friend! my intimate! my brother!' ('O,' said I, 'this is from an equal!') 'You know the affection that the friend who addresses you entertains for that bright star of the age, the shadow of our blessed Prophet, and his only wish is, that their intimacy should daily increase and strengthen. He sends him six choice Ispahan melons, such as are not to be found every day, and requests him, as he values his beard, to give him an unlimited permission to drink wine; for the doctors assure him if he does not take it in abundance, he will not have long to be the scourge and extirpator of the enemies of the true faith.'
'This can only be from the chief executioner,' said I immediately. 'Who else in Persia could express in such few words his own character, namely, flatterer, drunkard, and braggart? I will make something of this; but let me look at the other note. I opened it, and read as follows:
'O my lord and master, 'The humble inferior who presumes to address the prop of the true faith, the terror of infidels, and the refuge of the sinner, begs leave to lay before him, that after having encountered a thousand difficulties, he has at length succeeded in getting from the peasantry of his villages one hundred tomauns in ready money, besides the fifty kherwars, or ass loads of grain: that the man, Hossein Ali, could or would not pay anything, although he had bastinadoed him twice, and he had in consequence taken possession of his two cows: that he would go on beating and exerting himself to the best of his abilities; and if some one was sent for the money which he had now in hand, he would deliver it over upon receiving a proper order.'
The note then finished with the usual form of words from an inferior to his master, and was sealed with a small seal, upon which was impressed Abdul Kerim, the name of the writer.
'Ah,' said I, 'may my lucky stars still protect me, and I will discover who this Abdul Kerim is, and where the village from whence he writes, and then the hundred tomauns become mine. However, I let that matter rest for the moment, to think of the good account to which I might turn the note from the chief executioner. After due reflection I wrote as follows:—
'O my friend! my soul! 'The note of that friend without compare has been received, and its contents understood. When the sacred standard of Islâm runs the risk of losing that lion of lions, that double-bladed sword, that tower of strength, when he may be saved and preserved, who can doubt what is to be done? Drink, O friend, drink wine, and copiously too; and let the enemies of all true believers tremble. May thy house prosper, for the melons; but add one more favour to the many already conferred; lend thy friend a horse, duly caparisoned, for he has pressing business on hand, and he will return it safe and sound, as soon as the star of his destiny shall direct him home again.'
This I impressed with the seal of the deceased, and determined to present it myself very early in the morning.
To the other note I wrote the following answer:
'To the well-beloved Abdul Kerim. 'We have received your note, and have understood its contents. This will be delivered to you by our confidential Hajji Baba Beg, to whom you will deliver whatever money you have in hand for us. On other subjects you will hear from us soon; but in the meanwhile go on with the bastinado, and we pray Allah to take you into his holy keeping.'
Having duly accomplished this, I waited for a proper hour to make my escape from a place where I was in momentary danger of a discovery, which perhaps might bring me to an ignominious end. It was past midnight, and I was preparing to issue in great secrecy from my room, when the door was gently pressed as if some one wanted admittance. My fright may better be imagined than described. I expected to see, at least, the daroga (police magistrate) and all his officers rush in and seize me; and I waited in agony for the result of the intrusion, when I heard the sound of a female voice whispering words which my agitation prevented my understanding. Whatever might have been the object of the visit, I had but one answer to give, and that was a loud and heavy snore, which sufficiently proclaimed that the occupant of the apartment was in no humour to be disturbed.
I waited for some time until I thought that everything was hushed throughout the mansion, then made my way quietly to the principal entrance, which having easily opened, I fled as if pursued. I watched the best opportunities to steal along the streets without meeting the police, and without being discovered by the sentinels on duty. The day at length dawned, and the bazaars, little by little, began to open. Dressed as I was in the mollah bashi's clothes, my first care was to make such alterations in them that they should not hold me up to suspicion, and this I did for a trifling expense at an old clothes' shop, although, at the same time, I took care not to part with any of the valuable articles which had fallen into my possession.
I then proceeded to the house of the chief executioner, where I presented my note to a servant, an utter stranger to me, saying, that the mollah bashi requested an immediate answer, as he was about going from the city on important business.
To my delight, I was informed that the great personage was in his anderûn, and that he must for the present delay sending a written answer; but that in the meanwhile he had ordered one of his horses to be delivered to me.
O how I eyed the beast as I saw him led out of the stable, with the gold-pommelled and velvet-seated saddle, with the gold chain dangling over his head, and the bridle inlaid with enamelled knobs. I almost dreaded to think that all this was about to become my property, and that such luck could not last long. So strong was this apprehension that I was about asking for trappings less gaudy and more serviceable; but again, I thought that any delay might be my ruin; so without mincing the matter I mounted him, and in a very short time had passed the gates of the city, and was far advanced into the country.
I rode on, without stopping or once looking behind, until I had got among some of the broken ground produced by the large and undefined bed of the river Caraj, and there I made a halt. I recollected to have heard that the village of the mollah bashi lay somewhere in the direction of Hamadan, and consequently I directed my course thither. But, to say the truth, when pausing to breathe, I was so alarmed at the extraordinary turn which my fortunes had taken, that, like one dizzy on the brink of a precipice, invaded by a sort of impulse to precipitate himself, it was with some difficulty that I could persuade myself not to return and deliver up my person to justice. 'I am,' said I, 'nothing more nor less than a thief, and, if caught, should duly be blown from the mouth of a mortar. But then, on the other hand, who made me so? Surely, if takdeer (destiny) will work such wonderful effects, it can be no fault of mine. I sought not the death of the mollah bashi; but if he chooses to come and breathe his last in my lap, and if, whether I will or no, I am to be taken for him, then it is plain that fate has made me his vakeel, his representative; and whatever I do so long as I remain in that character is lawful—then his clothes are my clothes, his hundred tomauns are my hundred tomauns, and whatever I have written in his name is lawfully written.'
Revived by these conclusions, I again mounted and proceeded to the nearest village, to inquire where the property of the chief priest was situated, and if a person of the name of Abdul Kerim was known in the neighbourhood. As if the dice were determined to keep turning up in my favour, I found that the very next village, about one parasang distant, was the one in question, and Abdul Kerim a priest of that name who superintended the interests and collected the revenues of his deceased master. 'Ho,' said I, 'a priest! I must change the tone of the letter and insert his proper titles.' I immediately sat down on the ground, taking the inkstand from my pocket, and cutting off a slip of paper from the roll in my girdle I framed my note anew, and then proceeded on my errand, determined, if I obtained possession of the hundred tomauns, to take the shortest road to the nearest Persian frontier.