Adr. His incivility confirms no less.

Good Doctor Pinch, you are a conjurer;

45 Establish him in his true sense again,

And I will please you what you will demand.

Pinch. I charge thee, Satan, housed within this man,

To yield possession to my holy prayers,

And to thy state of darkness his thee straight:

I conjure thee by all the saints in heaven!

Ant. E. You minion, you, are these your customers?

Did this companion with the saffron face

Revel and feast it at my house to-day,

60 Whilst upon me the guilty doors were shut,

And I denied to enter in my house?

Adr. O husband, God doth know you dined at home;

Where would you had remain’d until this time,

Free from these slanders and this open shame!

Dro. E. In verity you did; my bones bear witness,

75 That since have felt the vigour of his rage.

Pinch. It is no shame: the fellow finds his vein,

And, yielding to him, humours well his frenzy.

80 Adr. Alas, I sent you money to redeem you,

By Dromio here, who came in haste for it.

Dro. E. Money by me! heart and good-will you might;

But surely, master, not a rag of money.

Dro. E. God and the rope-maker bear me witness

That I was sent for nothing but a rope!

Pinch. Mistress, both man and master is possess’d;

90 I know it by their pale and deadly looks:

They must be bound, and laid in some dark room.

Ant. E. Say, wherefore didst them lock me forth to-day?

And why dost thou deny the bag of gold?

95 Dro. E. And, gentle master, I received no gold;

But I confess, sir, that we were lock’d out.

Ant. E. Dissembling harlot, them art false in all,

And art confederate with a damned pack

100 To make a loathsome abject scorn of me:

But with these nails I’ll pluck out these false eyes,

That would behold in me this shameful sport.  

Ant. E. What, will you murder me? Thou gaoler, thou,

I am thy prisoner: wilt thou suffer them

To make a rescue?

Off.

Masters, let him go:

He is my prisoner, and you shall not have him.

Adr. What wilt thou do, thou peevish officer?

Hast thou delight to see a wretched man

Do outrage and displeasure to himself?

Off. He is my prisoner: if I let him go,

115 The debt he owes will be required of me.

Adr. I will discharge thee ere I go from thee:

Bear me forthwith unto his creditor,  

And, knowing how the debt grows, I will pay it.

Good master doctor, see him safe convey’d

120 Home to my house. O most unhappy day!

Adr. Go bear him hence. Sister, go you with me.

Exeunt all but Adriana, Luciana, Officer and Courtezan.

Say now; whose suit is he arrested at?

Cour. When as your husband, all in rage, to-day

135 Came to my house, and took away my ring,—

The ring I saw upon his finger now,—

Straight after did I meet him with a chain.

Adr. It may be so, but I did never see it.

Come, gaoler, bring me where the goldsmith is:

140 I long to know the truth hereof at large.

Adr. And come with naked swords.

Let’s call more help to have them bound again.  

Ant. S. Come to the Centaur; fetch our stuff from thence:

I long that we were safe and sound aboard.

Ant. S. I will not stay to-night for all the town;

155 Therefore away, to get our stuff aboard.

Ang. I am sorry, sir, that I have hinder’d you;

But, I protest, he had the chain of me,

Though most dishonestly he doth deny it.

5 Ang. Of very reverent reputation, sir,

Of credit infinite, highly beloved,

Second to none that lives here in the city:

His word might bear my wealth at any time.

10 Ang. ’Tis so; and that self chain about his neck,

Which he forswore most monstrously to have.

Good sir, draw near to me, I’ll speak to him;

Signior Antipholus, I wonder much

That you would put me to this shame and trouble;

15 And, not without some scandal to yourself,

With circumstance and oaths so to deny

This chain which now you wear so openly:

Beside the charge, the shame, imprisonment,

You have done wrong to this my honest friend;

20 Who, but for staying on our controversy,

Had hoisted sail and put to sea to-day:

This chain you had of me; can you deny it?

Sec. Mer. These ears of mine, thou know’st, did hear thee.

Fie on thee, wretch! ’tis pity that thou livest

To walk where any honest men resort.

Ant. S. Thou art a villain to impeach me thus:

30 I’ll prove mine honour and mine honesty

Against thee presently, if thou darest stand.

Adr. Hold, hurt him not, for God’s sake! he is mad.

Some get within him, take his sword away:

35 Bind Dromio too, and bear them to my house.

Dro. S. Run, master, run; for God’s sake, take a house!

This is some priory.—In, or we are spoil’d!

Adr. To fetch my poor distracted husband hence.

40 Let us come in, that we may bind him fast,

And bear him home for his recovery.

45 Adr. This week he hath been heavy, sour, sad,

And much different from the man he was;

But till this afternoon his passion

Ne’er brake into extremity of rage.

Abb. Hath he not lost much wealth by wreck of sea?

50 Buried some dear friend? Hath not else his eye

Stray’d his affection in unlawful love?

A sin prevailing much in youthful men,

Who give their eyes the liberty of gazing.

Which of these sorrows is he subject to?

55 Adr. To none of these, except it be the last;

Namely, some love that drew him oft from home.

Adr. It was the copy of our conference:

In bed, he slept not for my urging it;

At board, he fed not for my urging it;

65 Alone, it was the subject of my theme;

In company I often glanced it;

Still did I tell him it was vile and bad.

Abb. And thereof came it that the man was mad:—

The venom clamours of a jealous woman,

70 Poisons more deadly than a mad dog’s tooth.

It seems his sleeps were hinder’d by thy railing:

And thereof comes it that his head is light.

Thou say’st his meat was sauced with thy upbraidings:

Unquiet meals make ill digestions;

75 Thereof the raging fire of fever bred;

And what’s a fever but a fit of madness?

Thou say’st his sports were hinder’d by thy brawls:

Sweet recreation barr’d, what doth ensue

But moody and dull melancholy,

80 Kinsman to grim and comfortless despair;

And at her heels a huge infectious troop

Of pale distemperatures and foes to life?

In food, in sport, and life-preserving rest

To be disturb’d, would mad or man or beast:

85 The consequence is, then, thy jealous fits

Have scared thy husband from the use of wits.

Luc. She never reprehended him but mildly,

When he demean’d himself rough, rude, and wildly.

Why bear you these rebukes, and answer not?

90 Adr. She did betray me to my own reproof.

Good people, enter, and lay hold on him.

Abb. Neither: he took this place for sanctuary,

95 And it shall privilege him from your hands

Till I have brought him to his wits again,

Or lose my labour in assaying it.

Adr. I will attend my husband, be his nurse,

Diet his sickness, for it is my office,

100 And will have no attorney but myself;

And therefore let me have him home with me.

Abb. Be patient; for I will not let him stir

Till I have used the approved means I have,

With wholesome syrups, drugs and holy prayers,

105 To make of him a formal man again:

It is a branch and parcel of mine oath,

A charitable duty of my order.

Therefore depart, and leave him here with me.

Adr. I will not hence, and leave my husband here:

110 And ill it doth beseem your holiness

To separate the husband and the wife.

Adr. Come, go: I will fall prostrate at his feet,

115 And never rise until my tears and prayers

Have won his Grace to come in person hither,

And take perforce my husband from the abbess.  

Sec. Mer. By this, I think, the dial points at five:

Anon, I’m sure, the Duke himself in person

120 Comes this way to the melancholy vale,

The place of death and sorry execution,

Behind the ditches of the abbey here.

Sec. Mer. To see a reverend Syracusian merchant,

125 Who put unluckily into this bay

Against the laws and statutes of this town,

Beheaded publicly for his offence.

130 Duke. Yet once again proclaim it publicly,

If any friend will pay the sum for him,

He shall not die; so much we tender him.  

Duke. She is a virtuous and a reverend lady:

135 It cannot be that she hath done thee wrong.

Adr. May it please your Grace, Antipholus my husband,—

Whom I made lord of me and all I had,

At your important letters,—this ill day

A most outrageous fit of madness took him;

140 That desperately he hurried through the street,—

With him his bondman, all as mad as he,—

Doing displeasure to the citizens

By rushing in their houses, bearing thence

Rings, jewels, any thing his rage did like.

145 Once did I get him bound, and sent him home,

Whilst to take order for the wrongs I went,

That here and there his fury had committed.

Anon, I wot not by what strong escape,

He broke from those that had the guard of him;

150 And with his mad attendant and himself,

Each one with ireful passion, with drawn swords,

Met us again, and, madly bent on us,

Chased us away; till, raising of more aid,

We came again to bind them. Then they fled

155 Into this abbey, whither we pursued them;

And here the abbess shuts the gates on us,

And will not suffer us to fetch him out,

Nor send him forth, that we may bear him hence.

Therefore, most gracious Duke, with thy command

160 Let him be brought forth, and borne hence for help.

Duke. Long since thy husband served me in my wars;

And I to thee engaged a prince’s word,

When thou didst make him master of thy bed,

To do him all the grace and good I could.

165 Go, some of you, knock at the abbey-gate,

And bid the lady abbess come to me.

I will determine this before I stir.

Serv. O mistress, mistress, shift and save yourself!

My master and his man are both broke loose,

170 Beaten the maids a-row, and bound the doctor,

Whose beard they have singed off with brands of fire;

And ever, as it blazed, they threw on him

Great pails of puddled mire to quench the hair:

My master preaches patience to him, and the while

175 His man with scissors nicks him like a fool;

And sure, unless you send some present help,

Between them they will kill the conjurer.

Adr. Peace, fool! thy master and his man are here;

And that is false thou dost report to us.

180 Serv. Mistress, upon my life, I tell you true;

I have not breathed almost since I did see it.

He cries for you, and vows, if he can take you,

To scorch your face and to disfigure you. Cry within.

Hark, hark! I hear him, mistress: fly, be gone!

Adr. Ay me, it is my husband! Witness you,

That he is borne about invisible:

Even now we housed him in the abbey here;

And now he’s there, past thought of human reason.

190 Ant. E. Justice, most gracious Duke, O, grant me justice!

Even for the service that long since I did thee,

When I bestrid thee in the wars, and took

Deep scars to save thy life; even for the blood

That then I lost for thee, now grant me justice.

195 Æge. Unless the fear of death doth make me dote,

I see my son Antipholus, and Dromio.

Ant. E. Justice, sweet prince, against that woman there!

She whom thou gavest to me to be my wife,

That hath abused and dishonour’d me

200 Even in the strength and height of injury:

Beyond imagination is the wrong

That she this day hath shameless thrown on me.

Ant. E. This day, great Duke, she shut the doors upon me,

205 While she with harlots feasted in my house.

Adr. No, my good lord: myself, he and my sister

To-day did dine together. So befal my soul

As this is false he burdens me withal!

210 Luc. Ne’er may I look on day, nor sleep on night,

But she tells to your Highness simple truth!

Ang. O perjured woman! They are both forsworn:

In this the madman justly chargeth them.

Ant. E. My liege, I am advised what I say;

215 Neither disturbed with the effect of wine,

Nor heady-rash, provoked with raging ire,

Albeit my wrongs might make one wiser mad.

This woman lock’d me out this day from dinner:

That goldsmith there, were he not pack’d with her,

220 Could witness it, for he was with me then;

Who parted with me to go fetch a chain,

Promising to bring it to the Porpentine,

Where Balthazar and I did dine together.

Our dinner done, and he not coming thither,

225 I went to seek him: in the street I met him,

And in his company that gentleman.

There did this perjured goldsmith swear me down

That I this day of him received the chain,

Which, God he knows, I saw not: for the which

230 He did arrest me with an officer.

I did obey; and sent my peasant home

For certain ducats: he with none return’d.

Then fairly I bespoke the officer

To go in person with me to my house.

235 By the way we met my wife, her sister, and a rabble more

Of vile confederates. Along with them

They brought one Pinch, a hungry lean-faced villain,

A mere anatomy, a mountebank,

A threadbare juggler, and a fortune-teller,

240 A needy, hollow-eyed, sharp-looking wretch,

A living-dead man: this pernicious slave,

Forsooth, took on him as a conjurer;

And, gazing in mine eyes, feeling my pulse,

And with no face, as ’twere, outfacing me,

245 Cries out, I was possess’d. Then all together

They fell upon me, bound me, bore me thence,

And in a dark and dankish vault at home

There left me and my man, both bound together;

Till, gnawing with my teeth my bonds in sunder,

250 I gain’d my freedom, and immediately

Ran hither to your Grace; whom I beseech

To give me ample satisfaction

For these deep shames and great indignities.

Ang. My lord, in truth, thus far I witness with him,

255 That he dined not at home, but was lock’d out.

Ang. He had, my lord: and when he ran in here,

These people saw the chain about his neck.

Sec. Mer. Besides, I will be sworn these ears of mine

260 Heard you confess you had the chain of him,

After you first forswore it on the mart:

And thereupon I drew my sword on you;

And then you fled into this abbey here,

From whence, I think, you are come by miracle.

265 Ant. E. I never came within these abbey-walls;

Nor ever didst thou draw thy sword on me:

I never saw the chain, so help me Heaven:

And this is false you burden me withal!

Duke. Why, what an intricate impeach is this!

270 I think you all have drunk of Circe’s cup.

If here you housed him, here he would have been;

If he were mad, he would not plead so coldly:

You say he dined at home; the goldsmith here

Denies that saying. Sirrah, what say you?

280 Duke. Why, this is strange. Go call the abbess hither.

I think you are all mated, or stark mad.