1. With a shy look, approaching his mother when she was alone, the boy of fifteen said, "There are some things I want to ask you. I hear the boys speak of them at school, and I don't understand, and a fellow doesn't like to ask any one but his mother."
2. Drawing him down to her, in the darkness that was closing about them, the mother spoke to her son and the son to his mother freely of things which everybody must know sooner or later, and which no boy should learn from "anyone but his mother" or father.
3. If you do not answer such a natural question, your boy will turn for answer to others, and learn things, perhaps, which your cheeks may well blush to have him know.
4. Our boys and girls are growing faster than we think. The world moves; we can no longer put off our children with the old nurses' tales; even MacDonald's beautiful statement,
"Out of the everywhere into the there",
does not satisfy them when they reverse his question and ask, "Where did I come from?"
5. They must be answered. If we put them off, they may be tempted to go elsewhere for information, and hear half-truths, or whole truths so distorted, so mingled with what is low and impure that, struggle against it as they may in later years, their minds will always retain these early impressions.
6. It is not so hard if you begin early. The very flowers are object lessons. The wonderful mystery of life is wrapped in one flower, with its stamens, pistils and ovaries. Every child knows how an egg came in the nest, and takes it as a matter of course; why not go one step farther with them and teach the wonder, the beauty, the holiness that surrounds maternity anywhere? Why, centuries ago the Romans honored, and taught their boys to honor, the women in whose safety was bound up the future of their existence as a nation! Why should we do less?
7. Your sons and mine, your daughters and mine, need to be wisely taught and guarded just along these lines, if your sons and mine, your daughters and mine, are to grow up into a pure, healthy, Christian manhood and womanhood.
8. [4]"How grand is the boy who has kept himself undefiled! His complexion clear, his muscles firm, his movements vigorous, his manner frank, his courage undaunted, his brain active, his will firm, his self-control perfect, his body and mind unfolding day by day. His life should be one song of praise and thanksgiving. If you want your boy to be such a one, train him, my dear woman, to-day, and his to-morrow will take care of itself.
9. "Think you that good seed sown will bring forth bitter fruit? A thousand times, No! As we sow, so shall we reap. Train your boys in morality, temperance and virtue. Teach them to embrace good and shun evil. Teach them the true from the false; the light from the dark. Teach them that when they take a thing that is not their own, they commit a sin. Teach them that sin means disobedience of God's laws of every kind.
10. "God made every organ of our body with the intention that it should perform a certain work. If we wish to see, we use our eyes; if we want to hear, our ears are called into use. In fact, nature teaches us the proper use of all our organs. I say to you, mother, and oh, so earnestly: 'Go teach your boy that which you may never be ashamed to do, about these organs that make him specially a boy.'
11. "Teach him they are called sexual organs; that they are not impure, but of special importance, and made by God for a definite purpose. Teach him that there are impurities taken from the system in fluid form called urine, and that it passes through the sexual organs, but that nature takes care of that. Teach him that these organs are given as a sacred trust, that in maturer years he may be the means of giving life to those who shall live forever.
12. "Impress upon him that if these organs are abused, or if they are put to any use besides that for which God made them—and He did not intend they should be used at all until man is fully grown—they will bring disease and ruin upon those who abuse and disobey the laws which God has made to govern them. If he has ever learned to handle his sexual organs, or to touch them in any way except to keep them clean, not to do it again. If he does he will not grow up happy, healthy and strong.
13. "Teach him that when he handles or excites the sexual organs all parts of the body suffer, because they are connected by nerves that run throughout the system; this is why it is called 'self-abuse.' The whole body is abused when this part of the body is handled or excited in any manner whatever. Teach them to shun all children who indulge in this loathsome habit, or all children who talk about these things. The sin is terrible, and is, in fact, worse than lying or stealing. For, although these are wicked and will ruin their souls, yet this habit of self-abuse will ruin both soul and body.
14. "If the sexual organs are handled, it brings too much blood to these parts, and this produces a diseased condition; it also causes disease in other organs of the body, because they are left with a less amount of blood than they ought to have. The sexual organs, too, are very closely connected with the spine and the brain by means of the nerves, and if they are handled, or if you keep thinking about them, these nerves get excited and become exhausted, and this makes the back ache, the brain heavy and the whole body weak.
15. "It lays the foundation for consumption, paralysis and heart disease. It weakens the memory, makes a boy careless, negligent and listless. It even makes many lose their minds; others, when grown, commit suicide. How often mothers see their little boys handling themselves, and let it pass, because they think the boy will outgrow the habit, and do not realize the strong hold it has upon them. I say to you who love your boys—'Watch!'
16. "Don't think it does no harm to your boy because he does not suffer now, for the effects of this vice come on so slowly that the victim is often very near death before you realize that he has done himself harm. The boy with no knowledge of the consequences, and with no one to warn him, finds momentary pleasure in its practice, and so contracts a habit which grows upon him, undermining his health, poisoning his mind, arresting his development, and laying the foundation for future misery.
17. "Do not read this book and forget it, for it contains earnest and living truths. Do not let false modesty stand in your way, but from this time on keep this thought in mind—'the saving of your boy.' Follow its teachings and you will bless God as long as you live. Read it to your neighbors, who, like yourself, have growing boys, and urge them for the sake of humanity to heed its advice.
18. "Right here we want to emphasize the importance of cleanliness. We verily believe that oftentimes these habits originate in a burning and irritating sensation about the organs, caused by a want of thorough washing.
19. "It is worthy of note that many eminent physicians now advocate the custom of circumcision, claiming that the removal of a little of the foreskin induces cleanliness, thus preventing the irritation and excitement which come from the gathering of the whiteish matter under the foreskin at the beginning of the glands. This irritation being removed, the boy is less apt to tamper with his sexual organs. The argument seems a good one, especially when we call to mind the high physical state of those people who have practiced the custom.
20. "Happy is the mother who can feel she has done her duty, in this direction, while her boy is still a child. For those mothers, though, whose little boys have now grown to boyhood with the evil still upon them, and you, through ignorance, permitted it, we would say, 'Begin at once; it is never too late.' If he has not lost all will power, he can be saved. Let him go in confidence to a reputable physician and follow his advice. Simple diet, plentiful exercise in open air and congenial employment will do much. Do not let the mind dwell upon evil thoughts, shun evil companions, avoid vulgar stories, sensational novels, and keep the thoughts pure.
21. "Let him interest himself in social and benevolent affairs, participate in Sunday-school work, farmers' clubs, or any organizations which tend to elevate and inspire noble sentiment. Let us remember that 'a perfect man is the noblest work of God.' God has given us a life which is to last forever, and the little time we spend on earth is as nothing to the ages which we are to spend in the world beyond; so our earthly life is a very important part of our existence, for it is here that the foundation is laid for either happiness or misery in the future. It is here that we decide our destiny, and our efforts to know and obey God's laws in our bodies as well as in our souls will not only bring blessings to us in this life, but never-ending happiness throughout eternity."
22. A Question.—How can a father chew and smoke tobacco, drink and swear, use vulgar language, tell obscene stories, and raise a family of pure, clean-minded children? Let the echo answer.
1. Not long ago a Presbyterian minister in Western New York whipped his three-year-old boy to death for refusing to say his prayers. The little fingers were broken; the tender flesh was bruised and actually mangled; strong men wept when they looked on the lifeless body. Think of a strong man from one hundred and fifty to two hundred pounds in weight, pouncing upon a little child, like a Tiger upon a Lamb, and with his strong arm inflicting physical blows on the delicate tissues of a child's body. See its frail and trembling flesh quiver and its tender nervous organization shaking with terror and fear.
2. How often is this the case in the punishment of children all over this broad land! Death is not often the immediate consequence of this brutality as in the above stated case, but the punishment is often as unjust, and the physical constitution of children is often ruined and the mind by fright seriously injured.
3. Everyone knows the sudden sense of pain, and sometimes dizziness and nausea follow, as the results of an accidental hitting of the ankle, knee or elbow against a hard substance, and involuntary tears are brought to the eyes; but what is such a pain as this compared with the pains of a dozen or more quick blows on the body of a little helpless child from the strong arm of a parent in a passion? Add to this overwhelming terror of fright, the strangulating effects of sighing and shrieking, and you have a complete picture of child-torture.
4. Who has not often seen a child receive, within an hour or two of the first whipping, a second one, for some small ebullition of nervous irritability, which was simply inevitable from its spent and worn condition?
5. Would not all mankind cry out at the inhumanity of one who, as things are to-day, should propose the substitution of pricking or cutting or burning for whipping? It would, however, be easy to show that small jabs or pricks or cuts are more human than the blows many children receive. Why may not lying be as legitimately cured by blisters made with hot coals as by black and blue spots made with a ruler or whip? The principle is the same; and if the principle is right, why not multiply methods?
6. How many loving mothers will, without any thought of cruelty, inflict half a dozen quick blows on the little hand of her child, and when she could no more take a pin and make the same number of thrusts into the tender flesh, than she could bind the baby on a rack. Yet the pin-thrust would hurt far less, and would probably make a deeper impression on the child's mind.
7. We do not intend to be understood that a child must have everything that it desires and every whim and wish to receive special recognition by the parents. Children can soon be made to understand the necessity of obedience, and punishment can easily be brought about by teaching them self-denial. Deny them the use of a certain plaything, deny them the privilege of visiting certain of their little friends, deny them the privilege of the table, etc., and these self-denials can be applied according to the age and condition of the child, with firmness and without any yielding. Children will soon learn obedience if they see the parents are sincere. Lessons of home government can be learned by the children at home as well as they can learn lessons at school.
8. The trouble is, many parents need more government, more training and more discipline than the little ones under their control.
9. Scores of times during the day a child is told in a short, authoritative way to do or not to do certain little things, which we ask at the hands of elder persons as favors. When we speak to an elder person, we say, would you be so kind as to close the door, when the same person making the request of a child will say, "Shut the door." "Bring me the chair." "Stop that noise." "Sit down there." Whereas, if the same kindness was used towards the child it would soon learn to imitate the example.
10. On the other hand, let a child ask for anything without saying "please," receive anything without saying "thank you," it suffers a rebuke and a look of scorn at once. Often a child insists on having a book, chair or apple to the inconveniencing of an elder, and what an outcry is raised: "Such rudeness;" "Such an ill-mannered child;" "His parents must have neglected him strangely." Not at all: The parents may have been steadily telling him a great many times every day not to do these precise things which you dislike. But they themselves have been all the time doing those very things before him, and there is no proverb that strikes a truer balance between two things than the old one which weighs example over against precept.
11. It is a bad policy to be rude to children. A child will win and be won, and in a long run the chances are that the child will have better manners than its parents. Give them a good example and take pains in teaching them lessons of obedience and propriety, and there will be little difficulty in raising a family of beautiful and well-behaved children.
12. Never correct a child in the presence of others; it is a rudeness to the child that will soon destroy its self-respect. It is the way criminals are made and should always and everywhere be condemned.
13. But there are no words to say what we are or what we deserve, if we do this to the little children whom we have dared for our own pleasure to bring into the perils of this life, and whose whole future may be blighted by the mistakes of our careless hands. There are thousands of young men and women to-day groaning under the penalties and burdens of life, who owe their misfortunes, their shipwreck and ruin to the ignorance or indifference of parents.
14. Parents of course love their children, but with that love there is a responsibility that cannot be shirked. The government and training of children is a study that demands a parent's time and attention often much more than the claims of business.
15. Parents, study the problems that come up every day in your home. Remember, your future happiness, and the future welfare of your children, depend upon it.
16. Criminals and Heredity.—Wm. M. F. Round was for many years in charge of the House of Refuge on Randall's Island, New York, and his opportunities for observation in the work among criminals surely make him a competent judge, and he says in his letter to the New York Observer: "Among this large number of young offenders I can state with entire confidence that not one per cent. were children born of criminal parents; and with equal confidence I am able to say that the common cause of their delinquency was found in bad parental training, in bad companionship, and in lack of wholesome restraint from evil associations and influences. It was this knowledge that led to the establishing of the House of Refuge nearly three-quarters of a century ago."
17. Bad Training.—Thus it is seen from one of the best authorities in the United States that criminals are made either by the indifference or the neglect of parents, or both, or by too much training without proper judgment and knowledge. Give your children a good example, and never tell a child to do something and then become indifferent as to whether they do it or not. A child should never be told twice to do the same thing. Teach the child in childhood obedience and never vary from that rule. Do it kindly but firmly.
18. If Your Children Do Not Obey or Respect You in their childhood and youth, how can you expect to govern them when older and shape their character for future usefulness and good citizenship?
19. The Fundamental Rule.—Never tell a child twice to do the same thing. Command the respect of your children, and there will be no question as to obedience.
1. Chastity is the purest and brightest jewel in human character. Dr. Pierce in his widely known Medical Adviser says: For the full and perfect development of mankind, both mental and physical, chastity is necessary. The health demands abstinence from unlawful intercourse. Therefore children should be instructed to avoid all impure works of fiction, which tend to inflame the mind and excite the passions. Only in total abstinence from illicit pleasures is there safety, morals, and health, while integrity, peace and happiness are the conscious rewards of virtue. Impurity travels downward with intemperance, obscenity and corrupting diseases, to degradation and death. A dissolute, licentious, free-and-easy life is filled with the dregs of human suffering, iniquity and despair. The penalties which follow a violation of the law of chastity are found to be severe and swiftly retributive.
2. The Union of the sexes in holy Matrimony is a law of nature, finding sanction in both morals and legislation. Even some of the lower animals unite in this union for life and instinctively observe the law of conjugal fidelity with a consistency which might put to blush other animals more highly endowed. It seems important to discuss this subject and understand our social evils, as well as the intense passional desires of the sexes, which must be controlled, or they lead to ruin.
3. Sexual Propensities are possessed by all, and these must be held in abeyance, until they are needed for legitimate purposes. Hence parents ought to understand the value to their children of mental and physical labor, to elevate and strengthen the intellectual and moral faculties, to develop the muscular system and direct the energies of the blood into healthful channels. Vigorous employment of mind and body engrosses the vital energies and diverts them from undue excitement of the sexual desires.
Give your young people plenty of outdoor amusement; less of dancing and more of croquet and lawn tennis. Stimulate the methods of pure thoughts in innocent amusement, and your sons and daughters will mature to manhood and womanhood pure and chaste in character.
4. Ignorance Does Not Mean Innocence.—It is a current idea, especially among our good common people, that the child should be kept in ignorance regarding the mystery of his own body and how he was created or came into the world. This is a great mistake. Parents must know that the sources of social impurity are great, and the child is a hundred times more liable to have his young mind poisoned if entirely ignorant of the functions of his nature than if judiciously enlightened on these important truths by the parent. The parent must give him weapons of defense against the putrid corruption he is sure to meet outside the parental roof. The child cannot get through the A, B, C period of school without it.
5. Conflicting Views.—There is a great difference of opinion regarding the age at which the child should be taught the mysteries of nature: some maintain that he cannot comprehend the subject before the age of puberty; others say "they will find it out soon enough, it is not best to have them over-wise while they are so young. Wait a while." That is just the point (they will find it out), and we ask in all candor, is it not better that they learn it from the pure loving mother, untarnished from any insinuating remark, than that they should learn it from some foul-mouthed libertine on the street, or some giddy girl at school? Mothers! fathers! which think you is the most sensible and fraught with the least danger to your darling boy or girl?
6. Delay is Fraught With Danger.—Knowledge on a subject so vitally connected with moral health must not be deferred. It is safe to say that no child, no boy at least in these days of excitement and unrest, reaches the age of ten years without getting some idea of nature's laws regarding parenthood. And ninety-nine chances to one, those ideas will be vile and pernicious unless they come from a wise, loving and pure parent. Now, we entreat you, parents, mothers! do not wait; begin before a false notion has had chance to find lodgment in the childish mind. But remember this is a lesson of life, it cannot be told in one chapter; it is as important as the lessons of love and duty.
7. The First Lessons.—Should you be asked by your four or five-year old, "Mamma, where did you get me?" Instead of saying, "The doctor brought you," or "God made you and a stork brought you from Babyland on his back," tell him the truth as you would about any ordinary question. One mother's explanation was something like this: "My dear, you were not made any more than apples are made, or the little chickens are made. Your dolly was made, but it has no life like you have. God has provided that all living things such as plants, trees, little chickens, little kittens, little babies, etc., should grow from seeds or little tiny eggs. Apples grow, little chickens grow, little babies grow. Apple and peach trees grow from seeds that are planted in the ground, and the apples and peaches grow on the trees. Baby chickens grow inside the eggs that are kept warm by the mother hen for a certain time. Baby boys and girls do not grow inside an egg, but they start to grow inside of a snug warm nest, from an egg that is so small you cannot see it with just your eye." This was not given at once, but from time to time as the child asked questions and in the simplest language, with many illustrations from plant and animal life. It may have occupied months, but in time the lesson was fully understood.
8. The Second Lesson.—The second lesson came with the question, "But where is the nest?" The ice is now broken, as it were; it was an easy matter for the mother to say, "The nest in which you grew, dear, was close to your mother's heart inside her body. All things that do not grow inside the egg itself, and which are kept warm by the mother's body, begin to grow from the egg in a nest inside the mother's body." It may be that this mother had access to illustrations of the babe in the womb which were shown and explained to the child, a boy. He was pleased and satisfied with the explanations. It meant nothing out of the ordinary any more than a primary lesson on the circulatory system did, it was knowledge on nature in its purity and simplicity taught by mother, and hence caused no surprise. The subject of the male and female generative organs came later; the greatest pains and care was taken to make it clear, the little boy was taught that the sexual organs were made for a high and holy purpose, that their office at present is only to carry off impurities from the system in the fluid form called urine, and that he must never handle his sexual organs nor touch them in any way except to keep them clean, and if he does this, he will grow up a bright, happy and healthy boy. But if he excites or abuses them, he will become puny, sickly and unhappy. All this was explained in language pure and simple. There is now in the boy a sturdy base of character building along the line of virtue and purity through knowledge.
9. Silly Dirty Trash.—But I hear some mother say "Such silly dirty trash to tell a child!" It is not dirty nor silly; it is nature's untarnished truth. God has ordained that children should thus be brought into the world, do you call the works of God silly? Remember, kind mother, and don't forget it, if you fail to teach your children, boys or girls, these important lessons early in life, they will learn them from other sources, perhaps long ere you dream of it, and ninety-nine times out of one hundred they will get improper, perverted, impure and vile ideas of these important truths; besides you have lost their confidence and you will never regain it in these matters. They will never come to mamma for information on these subjects. And, think you, that your son and daughter, later in life will make you their confidant as they ought? Will your beautiful daughter hand the first letters she receives from her lover to mamma to read, and seek her counsel and advice when she replies to them? Will she ask mamma whether it is ever proper to sit in her lover's lap? I think not; you have blighted her confidence and alienated her affections. You have kept knowledge from her that she had a right to know; you even failed to teach her the important truths of menstruation. Troubled and excited at the first menstrual flow, she dashed her feet in cold water hoping to stop the flow. You know the results—she is now twenty-five but is suffering from it to this day. You, her mother, over fastidious, so very nice you would never mention "such silly trash," but by your consummate foolishness and mock modesty you have ruined your daughter's health, and though in later years she may forgive you, yet she can never love and respect you as she ought.
10. "Knowledge the Preserver of Purity."—Laura E. Scammon, writing on this subject, in the Arena of November, 1893, says: "When questions arise that can not be answered by observation, reply to each as simply and directly as you answer questions upon other subjects, giving scientific names and facts, and such explanations as are suited to the comprehension of the child. Treat nature and her laws always with serious, respectful attention. Treat the holy mysteries of parenthood reverently, never losing sight of the great law upon which are founded all others—the law of love. Say it and sing it, play it and pray it into the soul of your child, that love is lord of all."
11. Conclusion of the Whole Matter.—Observation and common sense should teach every parent that lack of knowledge on these subjects and proper counsel and advice in later years is the main cause of so many charming girls being seduced and led astray, and so many bright promising boys wrecked by self-abuse or social impurity. Make your children your confidants early in life, especially in these things, have frequent talks with them on nature, and you will never, other things being equal, mourn over a ruined daughter or a wreckless, debased son.
1. Conversation before Children.—The conduct and conversation of adults before children and youth, how often have I blushed with shame, and kindled with indignation at the conversation of parents, and especially of mothers, to their children: "John, go and kiss Harriet, for she is your sweet-heart." Well may shame make him hesitate and hang his head. "Why, John, I did not think you so great a coward. Afraid of the girls, are you? That will never do. Come, go along, and hug and kiss her. There, that's a man. I guess you will love the girls yet." Continually is he teased about the girls and being in love, till he really selects a sweet-heart.
2. The Loss of Maiden Purity and Natural Delicacy.—I will not lift the veil, nor expose the conduct of children among themselves. And all this because adults have filled their heads with those impurities which surfeit their own. What could more effectually wear off that natural delicacy, that maiden purity and bashfulness, which form the main barriers against the influx of vitiated Amativeness? How often do those whose modesty has been worn smooth, even take pleasure in thus saying and doing things to raise the blush on the cheek of youth and innocence, merely to witness the effect of this improper illusion upon them; little realizing that they are thereby breaking down the barriers of their virtue, and prematurely kindling the fires of animal passion!
3. Balls, Parties and Amusements.—The entire machinery of balls and parties, of dances and other amusements of young people, tend to excite and inflame this passion. Thinking it a fine thing to get in love, they court and form attachments long before either their mental or physical powers are matured. Of course, these young loves, these green-house exotics, must be broken off, and their miserable subjects left burning up with the fierce fires of a flaming passion, which, if left alone, would have slumbered on for years, till they were prepared for its proper management and exercise.
4. Sowing the Seeds for Future Ruin.—Nor is it merely the conversation of adults that does all this mischief; their manners also increase it. Young men take the hands of girls from six to thirteen years old, kiss them, press them, and play with them so as, in a great variety of ways, to excite their innocent passions, combined, I grant, with friendship and refinement—for all this is genteely done. They intend no harm, and parents dream of none: and yet their embryo love is awakened, to be again still more easily excited. Maiden ladies, and even married women, often express similar feelings towards lads, not perhaps positively improper in themselves, yet injurious in their ultimate effects.
5. Reading Novels.—How often have I seen girls not twelve years old, as hungry for a story or novel as they should be for their dinners! A sickly sentimentalism is thus formed, and their minds are sullied with impure desires. Every fashionable young lady must of course read every new novel, though nearly all of them contain exceptionable allusions, perhaps delicately covered over with a thin gauze of fashionable refinement; yet, on that very account, the more objectionable. If this work contained one improper allusion to their ten, many of those fastidious ladies who now eagerly devour the vulgarities of Dumas, and the double-entendres of Bulwer, and even converse with gentlemen about their contents, would discountenance or condemn it as improper. Shame on novel-reading women; for they cannot have pure minds or unsullied feelings but Cupid and the beaux, and waking of dreams of love, are fast consuming their health and virtue.
6. Theater-going.—Theaters and theatrical dancing, also inflame the passions, and are "the wide gate" of "the broad road" of moral impurity. Fashionable music is another, especially the verses set to it, being mostly love-sick ditties, or sentimental odes, breathing this tender passion in its most melting and bewitching strains. Improper prints often do immense injury in this respect, as do also balls, parties, annuals, newspaper articles, exceptional works, etc.
7. The Conclusion of the Whole Matter.—Stop for one moment and think for yourself and you will be convinced that the sentiment herein announced is for your good and the benefit of all mankind.
1. What is Puberty?—The definition is explained in another portion of this book, but it should be understood that it is not a prompt or immediate change; it is a slow extending growth and may extend for many years. The ripening of physical powers do not take place when the first signs of puberty appear.
2. Proper Age.—The proper age for puberty should vary from twelve to eighteen years. As a general rule, in the more vigorous and the more addicted to athletic exercise or out-door life, this change is slower in making its approach.
3. Hygienic Attention.—Youths at this period should receive special private attention. They should be taught the purpose of the sexual organs and the proper hygienic laws that govern them, and they should also be taught to rise in the morning and not to lie in bed after waking up, because it is largely owing to this habit that the secret vice is contracted. One of the common causes of premature excitement in many boys is a tight foreskin. It may cause much evil and ought always to be remedied. Ill-fitting garments often cause much irritation in children and produce unnatural passions. It is best to have boys sleep in separate beds and not have them sleep together if it can be avoided.
4. Proper Influence.—Every boy and girl should be carefully trained to look with disgust on everything that is indecent in word or action. Let them be taught a sense of shame in doing shameful things, and teach them that modesty is honorable, and that immodesty is indecent and dishonorable. Careful training at the proper age may save many a boy or girl from ruin.
5. Sexual Passions.—The sexual passions may be a fire from heaven, or a subtle flame from hell. It depends upon the government and proper control. The noblest and most unselfish emotions take their arise in the passion of sex. Its sweet influence, its elevating ties, its vibrations and harmony, all combine to make up the noble and courageous traits of man.
6. When Passions Begin.—It is thought by some that passions begin at the age of puberty, but the passions may be produced as early as five or ten years. All depends upon the training or the want of it. Self-abuse is not an uncommon evil at the age of eight or ten. A company of bad boys often teach an innocent child that which will develop his ruin. A boy may feel a sense of pleasure at eight and produce a slight discharge, but not of semen. Thus it is seen that parents may by neglect do their child the greatest injury.
7. False Modesty.—Let there be no false modesty on part of the parents. Give the child the necessary advice and instructions as soon as necessary.
8. The Man Unsexed, by Mutilation or Masturbation. Eunuchs are proverbial for their cruelty and crafty and unsympathizing dispositions. Their mental powers are feeble and their physical strength is inferior. They lack courage and physical endurance. When a child is operated upon before the age of puberty, the voice retains its childish treble, the limbs their soft and rounded outlines, and the neck acquires a feminine fulness; no beard makes its appearance. In ancient times and up to this time in Oriental nations eunuchs are found. They are generally slaves who have suffered mutilation at a tender age. It is a scientific fact that where boys have been taught the practice of masturbation in their early years, say from eight to fourteen years of age, if they survive at all they often have their powers reduced to a similar condition of a eunuch. They generally however suffer a greater disadvantage. Their health will be more or less injured. In the eunuch the power of sexual intercourse is not entirely lost but of course there is sterility and little if any satisfaction, and the same thing may be true of the victim of self-abuse.
9. Signs of Virility.—As the young man develops in strength and years the sexual appetite will manifest itself. The secretion of the male known as the seed or semen depends for the life-transmitting power upon little minute bodies called spermatozoa. These are very active and numerous in a healthy secretion, being many hundreds in a single drop and a single one of them is capable to bring about conception in a female. Dr. Napheys in his "Transmission of Life," says: "The secreted fluid has been frozen and kept at a temperature of zero for four days, yet when it was thawed these animalcules, as they are supposed to be, were as active as ever. They are not, however, always present, and when present may be of variable activity. In young men, just past puberty, and in aged men, they are often scarce and languid in motion." At the proper age the secretion is supposed to be the most active, generally at the age of twenty-five, and decreases as age increases.
10. Hygienic Rule.—The man at mid-life should guard carefully his passions and the husband his virile powers, and as the years progress, steadily wean himself more from his desire, for his passions will become weaker with age and any excitement in middle life may soon debilitate and destroy his virile powers.
11. Follies of Youth.—Dr. Napheys says: "Not many men can fritter away a decade or two of years in dissipation and excess, and ever hope to make up their losses by rigid surveillance in later years." "The sins of youth are expiated in age," is a proverb which daily examples illustrate. In proportion as puberty is precocious, will decadence be premature; the excesses of middle life draw heavily on the fortune of later years. "The mill of the gods grinds slow, but it grinds exceedingly fine," and though nature may be a tardy creditor, she is found at last to be an inexorable one.
1. Passions.—Every healthful man has sexual desires, and he might as well refuse to satisfy his hunger as to deny their existence. The Creator has given us various appetites, intended they should be indulged, and has provided the means.
2. Reason.—While it is true that a healthy man has strongly developed sexual passions, yet, God has crowned man with reason, and with a proper exercise of this wonderful faculty of the human mind no lascivious thoughts need to control the passions. A pure heart will develop pure thoughts and bring out a good life.
3. Rioting in Visions.—Dr. Lewis says: "Rioting in visions of nude women may exhaust one as much as an excess in actual intercourse. There are multitudes who would never spend the night with an abandoned female, but who rarely meet a young girl that their imaginations are not busy with her person. This species of indulgence is well-nigh universal; and it is the source of all other forms—the fountain from which the external vices spring, and the nursery of masturbation."
4. Committing Adultery in the Heart.—A young man who allows his mind to dwell upon the vision of nude women will soon become a victim of ruinous passion, and either fall under the influence of lewd women or resort to self-abuse. The man who has no control over his mind and allows impure thoughts to be associated with the name of every female that may be suggested to his mind, is but committing adultery in his heart, just as guilty at heart as though he had committed the deed.
5. Unchastity.—So far as the record is preserved, unchastity has contributed above all other causes, more to the ruin and exhaustion and demoralization of the race than all other wickedness. And we shall not be likely to vanquish the monster, even in ourselves, unless we make the thoughts our point of attack. So long as they are sensual we are indulging in sexual abuse, and are almost sure, when temptation is presented, to commit the overt acts of sin. If we cannot succeed within, we may pray in vain for help to resist the tempter outwardly. A young man who will indulge in obscene language will be guilty of a worse deed if opportunity is offered.
6. Bad Dressing.—If women knew how much mischief they do men they would change some of their habits of dress. The dress of their busts, the padding in different parts, are so contrived as to call away attention from the soul and fix it on the bosom and hips. And then, many, even educated women, are careful to avoid serious subjects in our presence—one minute before a gentleman enters the room they may be engaged in thoughtful discussion, but the moment he appears their whole style changes; they assume light fascinating ways, laugh sweet little bits of laughs, and turn their heads this way and that, all which forbids serious thinking and gives men over to imagination.
7. The Lustful Eye.—How many men there are who lecherously stare at every woman in whose presence they happen to be. These monsters stare at women as though they were naked in a cage on exhibition. A man whose whole manner is full of animal passion is not worthy of the respect of refined women. They have no thoughts, no ideas, no sentiments, nothing to interest them but the bodies of women whom they behold. The moral character of young women has no significance or weight in their eyes. This kind of men are a curse to society and a danger to the community. No young lady is safe in their company.
8. Rebuking Sensualism.—If the young women would exercise an honorable independence and heap contempt upon the young men that allow their imagination to take such liberties, a different state of things would soon follow. Men of that type of character should have no recognition in the presence of ladies.
9. Early Marriages.—There can be no doubt that early marriages are bad for both parties. For children of such a marriage always lack vitality. The ancient Germans did not marry until the twenty-fourth or twenty-fifth year, previous to which they observed the most rigid chastity, and in consequence they acquired a size and strength that excited the astonishment of Europe. The present incomparable vigor of that race, both physically and mentally, is due in a great measure to their long established aversion to marrying young. The results of too early marriages are in brief, stunted growth and impaired strength on the part of the male; delicate if not utterly bad health in the female; the premature old age or death of one or both, and a puny, sickly offspring.
10. Signs of Excesses.—Dr. Dio Lewis says: "Some of the most common effects of sexual excess are backache, lassitude, giddiness, dimness of sight, noises in the ears, numbness of the fingers, and paralysis. The drain is universal, but the more sensitive organs and tissues suffer most. So the nervous system gives way and continues the principal sufferer throughout. A large part of the premature loss of sight and hearing, dizziness, numbness and pricking in the hands and feet, and other kindred developments, are justly chargeable to unbridled venery. Not unfrequently you see men whose head or back or nerve testifies of such reckless expenditure."
11. Non-Completed Intercourse.—Withdrawal before the emission occurs is injurious to both parties. The soiling of the conjugal bed by the shameful manœuvres is to be deplored.
12. The Extent of the Practice.—One cannot tell to what extent this vice is practiced, except by observing its consequences, even among people who fear to commit the slightest sin, to such a degree is the public conscience perverted upon this point. Still, many husbands know that nature often renders nugatory the most subtle calculations, and reconquers the rights which they have striven to frustrate. No matter; they persevere none the less, and by the force of habit they poison the most blissful moments of life, with no surety of averting the result that they fear. So who knows if the too often feeble and weakened infants are not the fruit of these in themselves incomplete procreations, and disturbed by preoccupations foreign to the natural act.
13. Health of Women.—Furthermore, the moral relations existing between the married couple undergo unfortunate changes; this affection, founded upon reciprocal esteem, is little by little effaced by the repetition of an act which pollutes the marriage bed. If the good harmony of families and the reciprocal relations are seriously menaced by the invasion of these detestable practices, the health of women, as we have already intimated, is fearfully injured.
14. The Practice of Abortion.—Then we have the practice of abortion reduced in modern times to a science, and almost to a distinct profession. A large part of the business is carried on by the means of medicines advertised in obscure but intelligible terms as embryo-destroyers or preventives of conception. Every large city has its professional abortionist. Many ordinary physicians destroy embryos to order, and the skill to do this terrible deed has even descended among the common people.
15. Sexual Exhaustion.—Every sexual excitement is exhaustive in proportion to its intensity and continuance. If a man sits by the side of a woman, fondles and kisses her three or four hours, and allows his imagination to run riot with sexual visions, he will be five times as much exhausted as he would by the act culminating in emission. It is the sexual excitement more than the emission which exhausts. As shown in another part of this work, thoughts of sexual intimacies, long continued, lead to the worst effects. To a man, whose imagination is filled with erotic fancies the emission comes as a merciful interruption to the burning, harassing and wearing excitement which so constantly goads him.
16. The Desire of Good.—The desire of good for its own sake—this is Love. The desire of good for bodily pleasure—this is Lust. Man is a moral being, and as such should always act in the animal sphere according to the spiritual law. Hence, to break the law of the highest creative action for the mere gratification of animal instinct is to perform the act of sin and to produce the corruption of nature.
17. Cause Of Prostitution.—Dr. Dio Lewis says: "Occasionally we meet a diseased female with excessive animal passion, but such a case is very rare. The average woman has so little sexual desire that if licentiousness depended upon her, uninfluenced by her desire to please man or secure his support, there would be very little sexual excess. Man is strong—he has all the money and all the facilities for business and pleasure; and woman is not long in learning the road to his favor. Many prostitutes who take no pleasure in their unclean intimacies not only endure a disgusting life for the favor and means thus gained, but affect intense passion in their sexual contacts because they have learned that such exhibitions gratify men."
18. Husband's Brutality.—Husbands! It is your licentiousness that drives your wives to a deed so abhorrent to their every wifely, womanly and maternal instinct—a deed which ruins the health of their bodies, prostitutes their souls, and makes marriage, maternity and womanhood itself degrading and loathsome. No terms can sufficiently characterize the cruelty, meanness and disgusting selfishness of your conduct when you impose on them a maternity so detested as to drive them to the desperation of killing their unborn children and often themselves.
19. What Drunkards Bequeath to Their Offspring.—Organic imperfections unfit the brain for sane action, and habit confirms the insane condition; the man's brain has become unsound. Then comes in the law of hereditary descent, by which the brain of a man's children is fashioned after his own—not as it was originally, but as it has become, in consequence of frequent functional disturbance. Hence, of all appetites, the inherited appetite for drunkenness is the most direful. Natural laws contemplate no exceptions, and sins against them are never pardoned.
20. The Reports of Hospitals.—The reports of hospitals for lunatics almost universally assign intemperance as one of the causes which predispose a man's offspring to insanity. This is even more strikingly manifested in the case of congenital idiocy. They come generally from a class of families which seem to have degenerated physically to a low degree. They are puny and sickly.
21. Secret Diseases.—See the weakly, sickly and diseased children who are born only to suffer and die, all because of the private disease of the father before his marriage. Oh, let the truth be told that the young men of our land may learn the lessons of purity of life. Let them learn that in morality there is perfect protection and happiness.