198
CHAPTER XIII
The Happiest Day
It was thoroughly characteristic of Nancy to
turn her back on the most significant facts
of her experience, and occupy herself exclusively
with its by-products. She refused to
consider herself as an heiress entitled to spend
money lavishly for her own uses, but she squandered
it on her pet enterprise. She dismissed
the idea that Dick, whom she neglected to discourage
as decisively as her growing interest in
another man would seem to warrant, had
bought a country estate for the sole purpose of
ensconcing her there as mistress. She dreamed
of Collier Pratt and his ideal of her, and presented
herself punctually at his studio as a
model for that ideal, while ignoring absolutely
the fact that he was nearly a hundred dollars
in debt to her for meals served at Outside Inn.
She had sufficient logic and common sense to
apply to these matters, and sufficient imagination
to handle them sympathetically, had she
chosen to consider them at all, but she did not
199
choose. She was deep in the adventure of her
existence as differentiated from its practical
working out.
The day Collier Pratt finished his portrait of
her she was not alone in the studio with him.
Sheila, in a fluffy white dress with a floppy
black satin hat framing her poignant little face,
was omnipresent at the interview which succeeded
the actual two hours of absorption when
he put in the last telling strokes.
“It’s done,” he said, as he set aside pigments
and brushes, and divested himself of his painting
apron. “I don’t want to look at it now. I’ve
got it, but I can’t stand the strain of contemplating
it till my brain cools a trifle. Let’s go
out and celebrate.”
“Where shall we go?” Nancy said. This was
the moment she had dreamed of for weeks, the
hour of fruition when the work was done, and
they could face each other, man and woman
again with no strip of canvas between them.
“The place I always go when I’ve finished a
picture is a little café under the shadow of
Notre Dame, where I get cakes and beer and an
excellent perspective on all my favorite gargoyles.”
“And the little birds flutter in the sun, and
eat my crumbs and the great music swells out
while you ask the garçon for another bock. Do
you remember, father dear, the day that she
found us there?”
“I remember only that you made yourself ill
eating Madelaines and had to be taken home
en voiture,” Collier Pratt said quickly. “We
will go and have some coffee at the Café des
Artistes, and discuss ships and shoes and sealing
wax—anything but the art of painting.”
“And cabbages and kings,” Sheila contributed
ecstatically. “I used to think when I was a very
little girl and couldn’t read English very well
that it was really Heaven where Alice went,
and it made me sad to think she was dead and
I didn’t understand it, but now Miss Dear has
explained to me.”
“Miss Dear has made a good many things
clear to us both,” Collier Pratt said, but he
said no more that might be even remotely construed
as referring to the issue between them,
and Nancy finished out her day with dragging
limbs and an aching empty heart that a word
of tenderness would have filled to running over.
But after her work for the day was done, and
201
she was back in her own apartment with Sheila
tucked snugly in bed, and Hitty out for the
night with a sick friend, there came the touch
on her bell that she knew was Collier Pratt’s;
and she opened the door to find him standing
on her threshold.
“I knew you’d come,” she said, as women
always say to the man they have that hour
given up looking for.
“I wasn’t sure I would,” Collier Pratt said,
“but I did, you see.”
“Why weren’t you sure?” She stood beside
him in her little rectangular hall while he
divested himself of his cape, and placed his hat,
stick and gloves in orderly sequence on the
oak settee beside it. She liked to watch the
precision with which he always arranged these
things.
“Why should I be sure?” He turned and
faced her. “Miss Dear,” he said to himself
softly, “Miss Dear,” and she saw that in his eyes
which made the moment simpler for her to
bear.
She led the way into her drawing-room.
“Light the candles,” he said, “this firelight
is too good to drown in a flood of electric light!”
“Is that better?” she asked.
They were standing before the fireplace; the
embers had burned to a gentle glowing radiance.
Of the four candles she had lighted, the wick
of only one had taken fire and was burning.
Nancy’s breath caught in her throat, and she
could not steady it. Collier Pratt took a step
forward and held out his arms.
“No, this is better,” he said.
“I thought there was some place in the world
where I could be—comfortable,” Nancy said,
when she finally lifted her head from the
shoulder of the shabby, immaculate black suit,
“but I wasn’t quite sure.”
“Are you sure now, you little wonder
woman?” He held her at the length of his
arm for a moment and gazed curiously into
her face. Then he drew her slowly toward
him again. She met his kiss bravely, so bravely
that he understood the quality of her courage.
“I didn’t realize that this would be the first
time,” he said.
“There couldn’t have been any other time,”
Nancy breathed, “you know that.”
“I didn’t know,” Collier Pratt said thoughtfully.
“Oh! you little American girls, with
203
your strange, straight-laced little bodies and
your fearless souls!”
“Betty told you something,” Nancy cried,
scarcely hearing him, “but it wasn’t true.
There never has been anybody else.” She put
her head down on his shoulder again. “It is
comfortable here,” she said, “where I belong.”
She felt the sudden passion sweep through
him,—the high avid wave of tenderness and
desire,—and she exulted as all purely innocent
women exult when that madness surges first
through the veins of the man they love. He
put his hands on her shoulders and pressed her
into the armchair by the fire, and there she took
his head on her breast and understood for all
time what it means for a woman to be called
the mother of men.
“You wonder woman,” he murmured again.
She brushed the dark hair back from his
forehead and kissed his eyes. “You dear,” she
said, “you boy, you little boy.”
Suddenly through the darkness came the
sound of a shrill cry, and the thud of a fall in
some room down the corridor.
“It’s Sheila,” Nancy said, “she has those
little nightmares and falls out of bed.”
“I know she does,” Collier Pratt said, “but
she picks herself up again.”
“Not always,” Nancy said; “don’t you want
to come in and help me put her back?”
“I do not,” Collier Pratt said with unnecessary
emphasis.
Nancy was of two minds about picking the
child up in her little white night-gown and
bringing her out to her father, flushed and lovely
with sleep as she was. It was Collier Pratt’s
baby she had in her arms; her charge, the child
she loved, and the child of the man she loved,
a part of the miracle that was slowly revealing
itself to her; but a sudden sharp instinct
warned her that her impulse was ill-timed.
“I had forgotten the child was here,” Collier
Pratt said when she returned to him.
“I hadn’t,” Nancy said happily.
“I suppose she has to be somewhere, poor
little wretch,” he said. “She’s an extraordinarily
picturesque baby, isn’t she?”
Nancy crept nearer to him. He stood leaning
against the mantel and frowning slightly, but
he made no move toward her again.
“She doesn’t have nightmares often now,”
Nancy said with stiffening lips. “She used to
205
have them almost every night, but by watching
her diet carefully we have practically eliminated
them.”
“The Hitty person doesn’t like me,” Collier
Pratt said. “Pas du tout. She treats me as if I
were a book agent.”
“She loves Sheila, she—she’d do anything for
her.”
“The women who do not find me attractive
are likely to find me quite conspicuously otherwise,
I am afraid.” He had been carefully
avoiding Nancy’s eyes, but her little cry at this
drew his gaze. She was standing before him,
slowly blanching as if he had struck her, absolutely
still except for the trembling of her lips.
“What am I,” he said, “to hold out against
all the forces of the Universe? Do you love me,
Nancy, do you love me?”
“You know,” she whispered, once more in the
shelter of the shabby shoulder.
“This is madness,” he swore as he kissed her;
“we’re both out of our senses, Nancy; don’t you
know it?”
“The picture is done, anyhow,” she said. “I
don’t know how I can ever bear to look it in the
face, but I shall have to.”
“It’s the best work I’ve ever done,” he said.
“I don’t look like it now, do I?”
He held her off to see.
“No, by jove, you don’t. It’s gone, now—just
that thing I painted.”
“How do I look now?”
“Much more commonplace from the point of
view from which I painted you. Much more
beautiful though,—much more beautiful.”
“I’m glad.”
“I might paint you again,—like this. No,
I swear I won’t. I got the thing itself down on
canvas. I’ll never try to paint you again.”
“Is—that flattering?”
“Supremely.”
“When am I going to have my picture?” she
asked after another interlude. “Do you want
me to send for it?”
“I can’t give you the picture,” he said. “I
intended to if I had done merely a portrait, but
I can’t part with this. It has got to make my
fame and fortune.”
“I thought I was to have it,” Nancy said. “I—I—”
then she felt she was being ungenerous,
unworthy, “but I couldn’t take it, of course,
it’s too valuable.”
“Please God.”
“It would be wonderful, wouldn’t it, if my
picture did make you famous!”
“I think it will.”
“I’m nothing but a grubby little working girl,
and you’re a great artist,—and you love me.”
“You’re not a grubby little working girl to
me,” he said, “you’re a glorious creature—a
wonder woman. I ought to go down on my
knees to you for what you’ve given me in that
picture.”
“In the picture?” Nancy said. “I love you.
I love you. That wasn’t in the picture—I kept
it out.”
“I won’t marry him until he is ready for me,”
she said to herself at one time during the night.
She lay perfectly quiet till morning, her hands
folded upon her breast, and her little girl pig-tails
pulled down on either side of the coverlet,
wide-eyed and tranquil. She could not bear to
sleep and forget for a moment the beautiful
thing that had happened to her between dawn
and dawn. “I’ll take care of him and Sheila,
and nourish him, and help him to sell my
picture. It isn’t every woman who would understand
208
his kind of loving, but I understand
it.”
At eight o’clock Hitty came in to her, and
roused her from the light drowse into which
she had fallen at last.
“You was crying in your sleep again,” she
said, “your cheeks is all wet. I heard you the
minute I put my key into the latch. You’re as
bad as Sheila, only I expect she suffers from
something laying hard on her stummick. It’s
always something on your mind that starts you
in.”
“There’s nothing on my mind, Hitty,” Nancy
said, sitting up in bed, “nothing but happiness,
I mean. In some ways, Hitty dear, this is the
happiest day that I’ve ever waked up to.”
“Well, then, there’s other ways that it isn’t,”
Hitty said, opening the door to stalk out
majestically.
“There’s a lady waiting to see you, sir,”
Dick’s man servant informed him on
his arrival at his apartment one evening when
he had been dining at his club, and was putting
in a leisurely appearance at his own place after
his coffee and cigar.
“A lady?”
“Yes, sir, she has been here since nine. She
says it’s not important, but she insisted on
waiting.”
“The deuce she did.”
Dick’s quarters were not, strictly speaking,
of the bachelor variety. That is, he had a suite
in one of the older apartment houses in the
fifties, a building that domiciled more families
and middle-aged married couples than sprightly
young single gentlemen. Dick had fallen heir
to the establishment of an elderly uncle, who
had furnished the place some time in the nineties
and when he grew too decrepit to keep his
foothold in New York had retired to the country,
210
leaving Dick in possession. Even if Dick
had been a conspicuously rakish young gentleman,
which he was not, the traditional dignity
of his surroundings would have certainly protected
him from incongruous indiscretion in
their vicinity.
Betty rose composedly from the pompous
red velour couch that ran along the wall under
a portrait of a gentleman that looked like a
Philip of Spain, but was really Dick’s maternal
great grandfather.
“Why, Betty,” Dick said, “this isn’t
convenable unless you have a chaperon somewhere
concealed. We don’t do things like this.”
“I do,” Betty said. “I wanted to see you,
so I came. In these emancipated days ladies
call upon their men friends if they like. It’s
archaic to prattle of chaperons.”
“Still we were all brought up in the fear of
them.”
“Mine were brought up in the fear of me. I
like this place, Dicky. Why don’t you give us
more parties in it? You haven’t had a crowd
here for months.”
“Everybody’s so busy,” Dick said, “we don’t
211
seem to get together any more. I’m willing to
play host any time that the rest want to come.”
“You mean Nancy is so busy with her old
Outside Inn.”
“You are busy there, too.”
“I’m not so busy that I wouldn’t come here
when I was asked, Dicky.”
“Or even when you weren’t?” Dick’s smile
took the edge off his obviously inhospitable suggestion.
“Or even when I wasn’t,” Betty said impudently.
“Won’t you sit down, Mr. Thorndyke?”
“Can’t I call you a cab, Miss Pope?”
“I don’t wish to go away.”
“Betty, be reasonable,” Dick said, “it’s after
ten o’clock. It is not usual for me to receive
young ladies alone here, and it looks badly.
I don’t care for myself, of course, but for you
it looks badly.”
“If it’s only for me—I don’t care how it
looks. Come and sit down beside me, and talk
to me, Dicky, and I’ll tell you really why I
came.”
Dick folded his arms and looked down at her.
Betty’s piquant little face, olive tinted, and pure
212
oval in contour, was turned up to him confidently;
under the close seal turban the soft
brown hair framed the childish face, while the
big dark eyes danced with mischief. She patted
the couch by her side invitingly.
“I’ll go away in fifteen minutes, Dicky dear.
It certainly wouldn’t look well if you put me out
immediately, after all your establishment knowing
that I waited here an hour for you.”
Dick took out his watch.
“Fifteen minutes, then,” he said. “What’s
your trouble, Betty?”
“Well, it’s a long sad story,” she temporized.
“Perhaps I had better not begin on it now that
our time is so short. You wouldn’t like to hold
my hand, would you, Dicky?”
“I’m not going to, at any rate.”
“I thought you’d say that,” she sighed.
“Have you seen Nancy lately?”
“Yesterday.”
“She’s looking better, don’t you think so?”
“Yes.”
“Preston Eustace is back.”
“Is that so? I didn’t know he was here yet.
I knew he was coming.”
“He’s to be here six months, or so.”
“Have you seen him?”
“No, Caroline told me.” Her voice was carefully
steadied but Dick noticed for the first
time the shadows etched under the big brown
eyes, and the flush of excitement splotched
high on her cheek-bones. She had been engaged
to Preston Eustace for three months succeeding
her twentieth birthday.
“On second thoughts I think I will hold your
hand, Betty,” he said, covering that childlike
member with his own rather brawny one. “You
are not a very big little girl, are you, Betty?”
“My mother used to tell me that I was a very
destructive child.”
“I shouldn’t wonder if you were that yet.”
“Don’t let’s talk about me. Let’s talk about
you, Dicky.”
“About me?”
“Yes, please. I think you’re a very interesting
subject.”
Having arrived at some conclusion concerning
this unprecedented attack upon his privacy,
Dick was disposed to be kind to his unexpected
visitor. The fact that Preston Eustace was in
214
town and Betty had not seen him shed an entirely
new light on her recklessness. Like every
other incident in Betty’s history her love-affair
had been very conspicuously featured.
“The interesting things about me just at present
are—” he was just about to say “six shirts
of imported gingham” but he bethought himself
that she would be certain to demand to see
them, so he finished lamely with—“my game of
golf, and my new dogs.”
“What kind of dogs?”
“Belgian police dogs.”
“Where do you keep them?”
“I haven’t taken them over yet.”
“I heard that you had bought a place up in
Westchester, but I asked Nancy, and she said
she didn’t know. I don’t think Nancy appreciates
you, Dick.”
“That so often happens.”
“I mean that seriously.”
“It’s a serious matter—being appreciated.
The only person who I ever thought really
appreciated me was Billy’s old aunt. Every
time she saw me she used to say to me, ‘You’re
such a clean-looking young man I can’t take my
eyes off you.’”
“You are clean-looking, and awfully good-looking
too.”
“Do you mind if I smoke, Betty?” Dick carefully
disengaged his hand from her clinging
fingers, and a look of something like intelligence
passed between them, before Betty
turned her ingenuous child’s stare on him
again.
“Not if you’ll give me a cigarette, too.”
Dick fumbled through his pockets.
“It’s awfully stupid, but I haven’t any about
me,” he said, fingering what he knew that she
knew to be the well filled case he always carried
in his inner pocket. He did not approve of
women smoking.
But “Poor Dicky!” was all she said.
“Your fifteen minutes are up, Betty,” he said
presently, taking out his watch.
“Well, I suppose I’ll have to go then.”
Dick rose politely.
“You really don’t care whether I go or stay,
do you?” she sighed.
“I would rather have you go, Betty,” he said
gravely.
Betty’s eyes filled with sudden tears, that
Dick to his surprise realized were genuine.
“I wanted you to want me to stay,” she said
incoherently.
“I suppose you’re just a miserable little thing
that doesn’t want to be alone,” he concluded.
“Come, I’ll take you home.”
The telephone bell on the table beside him
rang sharply.
“I’m just going out,” he said to Billy, on the
wire. “Betty is here with a fit of the blues.
I’m going to take her home. Ride up with us,
will you?”
“He’ll meet us down-stairs in ten minutes,”
he said. “I’ll order a taxi.”
“I don’t want to see Billy,” Betty said rebelliously.
She rose suddenly, pulling on her
gloves, and took a step forward as if about to
brush by him petulantly, but as she did so she
staggered, put her hand to her eyes, and fell
forward against his breast.
Dick picked up the limp little body, and made
his way to the couch where he deposited it
gently among the stiff red pillows there. Then
he began to chafe her hands, to push back the
tumbled hair from which the fur hat had been
displaced, and finally fallen off, and to call out
her name remorsefully.
“Betty, dear, dearest,” he cried, “I didn’t
know, I didn’t dream,—I thought you were just
trying it on. I’m so sorry, dear, I am so sorry.”
She moaned softly, and he bent over her again
more closely. Then he gathered her up in his
arms.
“Betty, dear, Betty,” he said again.
She opened her eyes. Her two soft arms stole
up around his neck, and she lifted her lips.
“You little devil,” Dick cried, almost at the
same instant that he kissed her.
“She deserves to be spanked,” he told Billy
grimly at the door. “She got in my apartment
when I was out, and insisted on staying there
till I came in, to make me a visit.”
“He doesn’t understand me,” Betty complained,
as she cuddled confidingly in the corner of
the taxi-cab, “when I’m serious he doesn’t
realize or appreciate it, and he doesn’t understand
the nature of my practical jokes.”
“I don’t like—practical jokes,” Dick said.
“Have you seen Preston Eustace, Billy?”
“I haven’t seen Caroline,” Billy said, as if
that disposed of all the interrogatory remarks
that might be addressed to him in the present
or the future.
“It’s a nice-looking river,” Betty said, looking
out at the softly gleaming surface of the
Hudson, as their cab took the drive. “It looks
strange to-night, though, laden with all kinds
of queer little boats. I wonder how it would
feel to be drifting down it, or up it, on a barque
or a barkentine—I don’t know what a barkentine
is—all dead like Elaine or Ophelia,—with
your hands neatly folded across your breast?”
“For heaven sake’s, Betty,” Billy cried, “I
don’t like your style of conversation. I’m in a
state of gloom myself, to-night.”
“I didn’t say I was in a state of gloom,”
Betty said. They rode the rest of the way in
silence, but when Dick got out of the cab to
open her door for her, she whispered to him,
“I’m awfully ashamed, Dick,” before she fled
up-stairs through the darkened hallway of her
own home.
“Queer little thing,—Betty,” Billy said as
Dick stepped back to the cab again, “you never
know where you have her. Full of the deuce as
she can stick. Unscrupulous little rascal, too,
but made of good stuff.”
“Don’t you think so?” Billy inquired presently
as Dick did not answer.
“Think what?”
“That Betty’s a queer sort of girl.”
Dick took his pipe out of his pocket and began
stuffing it full of tobacco. When this was satisfactorily
accomplished, he struck a match on
his boot heel, and lit the mixture, drawing at it
critically meanwhile.
“Damn’ queer,” he admitted, between puffs.
220
CHAPTER XV
Clouds of Glory
Nancy, trailing clouds of glory, took up the
management of her Inn with renewed
vigor. She had found her touchstone. The
flower of love, which she had scarcely understood
to be indigenous to the soil of her own
practical little garden, had suddenly lifted up
its head there in fragrant, radiant bloom. She
was so happy that she was impatient of all the
inadequate, inefficient manipulation of affairs in
the whole world. She felt strong and wise to
put everything right in a neglected universe.
She loved. She was satisfied to live in that
love for the present, with no imagination of the
future except as her lover should construct it
for her; and in him she had absolute faith.
The things that he had said or left unsaid had
no significance to her. Before she had dreamed
of a personal relation with him he had singled
her out as a creature made for the consummation
and fulfilment of the greatest passion
of all. The merest suspicion that there had
221
been a man in the world who could have frustrated
this beautiful potentiality in her had
moved him profoundly. There was nothing in
her experience to help her to differentiate
between the sensibility of the artistic temperament
and the manifestations of the more reliable
emotions. The presence in the human
breast of a fire that gave out light and not heat
was a condition undreamed of in her philosophy.
To doubt Collier Pratt’s love for her in
the face of his tacit pursuit of her, and the
acceptance of the obligation she had chosen to
put him under, would have seemed to her the
rankest kind of heresy.
She had been brought up on terms of comradely
equality with boys and men, and she
understood the rules of all the pretty games of
fluffing and light flirtation that young men and
women play with each other, but serious love-making—that
was a thing apart. In the world
of honor and fair dealing a man took a woman’s
kiss of surrender for one reason and one reason
only——that she was his woman, and he so held
her in his heart.
Now that she was in this sort committed to
her love for Collier Pratt, her one ambition was
222
to put her life in order for him,—to pick up the
raveling threads of her achievement and prove
to him and to herself that she was the kind of
woman who accomplishes that which she
attempts. In the light of his indefatigable
patience in all matters that pertained to his
art—his clean-cut workmanship—his skill in
handling his material—she blushed for the
amateur spirit that animated all her undertakings,
and for the first time recognized it
for what it was.
“Gaspard,” she said one morning soon after
her miracle had been achieved, “where do you
think the greatest leak is? We spend a great
deal too much money in running this place.
As you know, that is not the most important
matter to me. Getting my customers properly
nourished with invitingly prepared food is the
essential thing, but if there was a way to adjust
the economical end of it, I should feel a great
deal more comfortable in my mind.”
“But certainly, mademoiselle, I should like
myself to try the pretty little economies. The
Frenchman he likes to spend his money when it
is there, but it hurts him in the heart to waste
this money without cause.”
“Am I wasting money without cause, Gaspard,
in your opinion?”
“What else?”
“How can I stop it?”
“By calculation of the tall cost of living,
and by buying what is good instead of what is
expensive.”
“What do you mean, Gaspard?”
Gaspard contemplated her for a moment.
“We have had this week—squab chicken,” he
said, “racks of little unseasonable lambs, sweetbreads,
guinea fowl and filet du boeuf. We
have with them mushrooms, fresh string bean,
cooked endive, and new, not very good peas
grown in glass. We have the salted nuts, the
radish, the olive, the celery, the bon bon, all
extra without pay. Then you make in addition
to this the health foods, and your bills are
sky high up. Is it not?”
“I’m afraid it is, Gaspard. I had no idea I
was as reckless as all that.”
“But yes, and more of it.”
“What would you do if you were running
this restaurant, Gaspard?”
“I would give ragoût, and rabbits—so cheap
and so good too—stewed in red wine, and the
224
good pot roast with vegetables all in the delicious
sauce, and carrots with parsley and the
peas out of the can, cooked with onion and lettuce,
and macédoine of all the other things left
over. Lentils and flageolet I should buy dried
up, and soak them out.—All those things which
you have said were needless.—In my way they
would be so excellent.”
“You make my mouth water, Gaspard. I
don’t know whether it’s a Gallic eloquence, or
whether that food really would work. They
might like it for a change anyhow.”
“I have many personal patrons now,” Gaspard
said with some pride; “all day they send
me messages, and very good tips. I think what
I would serve them they would eat.—But there
is one thing—” he paused and hesitated dejectedly,
“that, what you say, takes the heart out
of the beautiful cooking.”
“What thing is that, Gaspard?”
“Those calories.”
“Why, Gaspard, surely you’re used to working
with tables now. It must be almost second
nature to you. My whole end and aim has been
to serve a balanced ration.”
“I know, but the ration when he is right,
225
he balances himself. These tables they are like
the steps in dancing—to learn and to forget.
I figure all day all night to get those calories,
and then I find I have eight—and eight are so
little—lesser than I would have had without the
figuring, and if our customer he has taken himself
one piece of sweetmeat outside, he has
more than made it up.”
“I always have worried about what they eat
between meals,” Nancy said,—“but that, of
course, we can’t regulate.”
“Could I perhaps go to it, as you say, and
cook like the bourgeoisie for a week or two of
trials?”
“Yes, I think you could, Gaspard,” Nancy
said thoughtfully. “Go to it, as we say, and I
won’t interfere in any way. Maybe they’d
like it. Perhaps our food is getting to be too
much like hotel food, anyway.”
She knew in her heart that the gradually
increasing scale of luxury on which she had
been running her cuisine had been largely due
to her desire to provide Collier Pratt with all
the delicacies he loved, without making the
fact too conspicuous. The specially prepared
dishes sent out to his table had become a matter
226
of so much comment among the members of the
staff, and the target of so much piquant satire
from Betty that she had become sensitive on the
subject, especially since Betty had access to the
books, and knew in actual dollars and cents
how much this favoritism was costing her.
Now that matters had been settled between
herself and her lover, she felt vaguely ashamed
of this elaboration of method. It was so simple
a thing to love a man and give him all you had,
with the eyes of the world upon you, if necessary.
She felt that she handled the matter
rather unworthily.
She had also a consultation with Molly and
Dolly about the economic problem, and discovered
that they agreed with Gaspard about the
unnecessary extravagance of her management.
“Them health foods,” Dolly said,—she was
not the more grammatical of the twins, “the
ones that gets them regular gets so tired of
them, or else they gets where they don’t need
them any more. There’s one girl that crumbs
up her health muffins and puts them on the
window-sill every day when I ain’t looking, so’s
not to hurt my feelings.”
“That accounts for all those chittering sparrows,”
Nancy said.
“And some of those buttermilk men threatens
not to come any more if I don’t stop serving
it to them.”
“What do you say to them, Dolly, when they
object to it?”
“Well, sometimes I say one thing, and sometimes
another. Sometimes I say it’s orders to
serve it; and sometimes I say will they please
to let it stand by their plate not to get me in
trouble with the management; and sometimes
I coax them to take it.”
“By an appeal to their better nature,” Nancy
said. “I’m glad Dick can’t hear all this,—he’d
think it was funny.”
“We don’t have so much trouble with the
broths,” Molly said, “but so many people would
rather have the cream soups Gaspard makes,
that we waste a good deal.”
“It sours on us,” Dolly elucidated.
“What do you think would be the best way
out of that?”
“I think to charge for the invalid things,”
Dolly said; “people would think more of them
228
if they was specials, and had to be paid good
money for. Health bread, if you didn’t call
it that, would go good, if it cost five cents
extra.”
“What would you call it?” Nancy asked.
“California fruit nut bread, or something
like that, and call the custards crême renversé,
and the ice-cream, French ice-cream.”
“Oh, dear!” Nancy said, “that isn’t the way
I want to do things at all.”
“We can slip the ones that needs them a few
things from time to time, can’t we, Molly?”
Dolly said.
“We’ll do it,” Nancy said. “I hate the way
that the most uninspired ways of doing things
turn out to be the best policy after all. I don’t
believe in stereotyped philanthropy, but I did
think I had found a way around this problem of
feeding up people who needed it.”
“They get fed up pretty good if they do pay
a regular price for it,” Dolly said. “You can’t
get something for nothing in this world, and
most everybody knows it by now.”
“I’m managing my restaurant a little differently,”
she told Collier Pratt a few days later,
229
as she took her place at the little table beside
him, where she habitually ate her dinner. “If
you don’t like it you are to tell me, and I’ll see
that you have things you will like.”
“This dinner is good,” he said reflectively,
“like French home cooking. I haven’t had a
real ragoût of lamb since I left the pension of
Madame Pellissier. Has your mysterious
patroness got tired of furnishing diners de
luxe to the populace?”
“Not exactly that,” Nancy said, “but she—she
wants me to try out another way of doing
things.”
“I thought that would come. That’s the
trouble with patronage of any kind. It is so
uncertain. There is no immediate danger of
your being ousted, is there?”
“No,” Nancy said, “there—there is no danger
of that.”
“I don’t like that cutting you down,” he said,
frowning. “It would be rather a bad outlook
for us all if she threw you over, now wouldn’t
it?”
“Oh!—she won’t, there’s nothing to worry
about, really.”
“It would be like my luck to have the only
café in America turn me out-of-doors.—I should
never eat again.”
“I promise it won’t,” Nancy said; “can’t you
trust me?”
“I never have trusted any woman—but you,”
he said.
“You can trust me,” Nancy said. “The truth
is, she couldn’t put me out even if she wanted
to. I—she is under a kind of obligation to me.”
“Thank God for that. I only hope you are
in a position to threaten her with blackmail.”
“I could if anybody could,” Nancy said. She
put out of her mind as disloyal, the faintly
unpleasant suggestion of his words. He owed
her mythical patron a substantial sum of money
by this time. He was not even able to pay
Michael the cash for the nightly teapot full of
Chianti that Nancy herself now sent out for
him regularly. For the first time since her
association with him she was tempted to compare
him to Dick, and that not very favorably;
but at the next instant she was reproaching
herself with her littleness of vision. He was
too great a man to gauge by the ordinary standards
of life. Money meant nothing to him
231
except that it was the insignificant means to the
end of that Art, which was to him consecrated.
They were placed a little to the left of the
glowing fire—Nancy had restored the fireplace
in the big central dining-room—and the light
took the brass of the andirons, and all the
polished surface of copper and pewter and silver
candelabra that gave the room its quality
of picturesqueness.
“Some of those branching candlesticks are
very beautiful,” he said; “the impression here
is a little like that of a Catholic altar just before
the mass. I’ve always thought I’d like to have
my meals served in church, Saint-Germain-des-Prés
for instance.”
“It is rather dim religious light.” Nancy had
no wish to utter this banality, but it was forced
from her by her desire to seem sympathetic.
“Can we go to your place for a little while
to-night?”
These were the words she had spent her days
and nights hungering for; yet now she hesitated
for a perceptible instant.
“Yes, we can, of course. There is a friend
of mine—Billy Boynton, up there this evening.
He is not feeling very fit, and phoned to ask
232
if he could go up and sprawl before my fire, so,
of course, I said he could.”
“Oh! yes, Sheila’s friend. Can’t he be disposed
of?”
“I think so. We could try.”
But at Nancy’s apartment they found not
only Billy, but Caroline, and the atmosphere
was like that of the glacial regions, both literally
and figuratively.
“Hitty had the windows open, and the fire
went out, and I forgot to turn on the heat,”
Billy explained from his position on the hearth
where he was trying to build an unscientific
fire with the morning paper, and the remains of
a soap box. There was a long smudge across
his forehead.
Caroline drew Nancy into the seclusion of her
bedroom and clutched her violently by the arm.
“I can’t stand the strain any longer,” she
cried, “you’ve got to tell me. Are you or are
you not going to marry Dick Thorndyke for his
money, and is Billy Boynton putting you up to
it—out of cowardice?”
“No, I’m not and he isn’t,” Nancy said.
“What’s the matter with you and Billy anyway?”
“I haven’t seen him for weeks before. I just
happened to be in this neighborhood to-night,
and ran in here, and there he was.”
“Why don’t you take him home with you?”
Nancy said.
“I don’t want him to go home with me.”
“Don’t you love him?”
“Oh, I don’t know. That isn’t the point.”
“It is the point,” Nancy said; “there isn’t
any other point to the whole of existence.
There’s nothing else in the world, but love, the
great, big, beautiful, all-giving-up kind of love,
and bearing children for the man you love; and
if you don’t know that yet, Caroline, go down
on your bended knees and pray to your God
that He will teach it to you before it is too
late.”
“I—I didn’t know you felt like that,” Caroline
gasped.
“Well, I do,” Nancy said, “and I think that
any woman who doesn’t is just confusing issues,
and taking refuge in sophistry. I wouldn’t give
that”—she snapped an energetic forefinger,
“for all your silly, smug little ideas of economic
independence and service to the race, and
all that tommy-rot. There is only one service
234
a woman can do to her race, and that is to
take hold of the problems of love and marriage,—and
the problems of life, birth and death that
are involved in them—and work them out to
the best of her ability. They will work out.”
“You—you’re a sort of a pragmatist, aren’t
you?” Caroline gasped.
“Billy loves you, and you love Billy. Billy
needs you. He is the most miserable object
lately, that ever walked the face of the earth.
I’m going to call a taxi-cab, and send you both
home in it, and when you get inside of it I want
you to put you arms around Billy’s neck, and
make up your quarrel.”
“I won’t do that,” said Caroline, “but—but
somehow or other you’ve cleared up something
for me. Something that was worrying me a
good deal.”
“Shall I call the taxi?” Nancy said inexorably.
“Well, yes—if—if you want to,” Caroline
said.
The fire was crackling merrily in the drawing-room
when she stepped into it again after
speeding her departing guests. Collier Pratt
235
was walking up and down impatiently with his
hands clasped behind his back.
“You got rid of them at last,” he said. “I
was afraid they would decide to remain with
us indefinitely.”
“I didn’t have as much trouble as I anticipated,”
admitted Nancy cryptically.
Collier Pratt made a round of the rose-shaded
lamps in the room—there were three including
a Japanese candle lamp,—and turned them all
deliberately low. Then he held out his arms
to Nancy.
“We’ll snatch at the few moments of joy the
gods will vouchsafe us,” he said.
236
CHAPTER XVI
Christmas Shopping
Sheila and Nancy were doing their Christmas
shopping. The weather, which had
been like mid-May—even to betraying a bewildered
Jersey apple tree into unseasonable bloom
that gave it considerable newspaper notoriety,—had
suddenly turned sharp and frosty.
Sheila, all in gray fur to the beginning of her
gray gaiters, and Nancy in blue, a smart blue
tailor suit with black furs and a big black
satin hat—she was dressing better than she had
ever dressed in her life—were in that state of
physical exhilaration that follows the spur of
the frost.
“We mustn’t dance down the avenue, Sheila,”
Nancy said, “it isn’t done, in the circles in
which we move.”
“It is you who are almost very nearly dancing,
Miss Dear,” Sheila said, “I was only walking
on my toetips.”
“Oh! don’t you feel good, Sheila?” Nancy
cried.
“Don’t you, Miss Dear?”
“I feel almost too good,” Nancy said, “as if
in another minute the top of the world might
come off.”
“The top of the world is screwed on very
tight, I think,” said Sheila. “I used to think
when I was a little girl that it was made out of
blue plush, but now I know better than that.”
“It might be,” Nancy argued, “blue plush
and bridal veils. There’s a great deal of filmy
white about it, to-day.”
“It’s a long way off from Fifth Avenue,”
Sheila sighed, “too far. I am not going to
think about it any more. I am going to think
hard about what to give my father. Michael
said to get a smoking set, but I don’t know
what a smoking set is. Hitty said some hand
knit woolen stockings, but I am afraid he would
be scratched by them. Gaspard said a big bottle
of Cointreau, but I do not know what that is
either.”
“Couldn’t we give him a beautiful brocaded
dressing-gown and a Swiss watch, thin as a
wafer, and some handkerchiefs cobwebby fine,
and a dozen bottles of Cointreau, and—then get
the other things as we think of them?”
“Are we rich enough to do that?” Sheila
asked, her eyes sparkling with excitement.
“Rich enough to buy anything we want,
Sheila,” Nancy cried. “I had no idea it was going
to be such a heavenly feeling. When you
say your prayers to-night, Sheila, I hope you
will ask God to bless somebody you’ve never
heard of before. Elijah Peebles Martin, do you
think you could remember that long name,
Sheila?”
“Yes, Miss Dear,—do you remember him in
your prayers every night?”
“Well, I haven’t,” Nancy said, “but I intend
to from now on. Do you think Collier—father—would
like to have a new pipe?”
“I don’t know,” Shelia said; “wouldn’t Uncle
Dick like to have one?”
“I don’t know whether Uncle Dick is going to
want a Christmas present from me or not,
Sheila.” Nancy answered seriously. “There
may be—reasons why he won’t come to see us
for a while when he knows them.”
“Oh, dear,” Sheila said, “but I can buy him a
Christmas present myself, can’t I? I don’t
want it to be Christmas if I can’t.”
“Of course, dear. What shall we buy Aunt
Caroline and Uncle Billy?”
“Some pink and blue housekeeping dishes, I
think.”
“I’m going to have trouble buying Caroline
anything,” Nancy said. “She’s so sure I can’t
afford it. If I give a silver chest I’ll have to
make Billy say it came from his maiden aunt.”
“What shall we give Aunt Betty?”
“I don’t know exactly why,” Nancy said, “but
someway I feel more like giving her a good
shaking than anything else.”
“For a little surprise,” Sheila said presently,
“do you think we could go down to see my father
in his studio, after we have shopped? I
feel like seeing my father to-day. Sometimes I
wake up in the morning and I think of Hitty
and my breakfast, and the canary bird, and of
you, Miss Dear, fast asleep where I can hear
you breathing in your room—if I listen to it—and
then other mornings I wake up thinking
only of my father, and how he looks in his
shirt-sleeves and necktie. I was thinking of
him this morning like that. So now I should
like to see him.”
“You shall, dear. I want him to see you in
your new clothes. He’ll think you look like a
little gray bird with a scarlet breast.”
“Then I must open the front of my coat when
I go in so he shall see my vest at once, mustn’t
I?”
“Do you know how much I love you, Sheila?”
Nancy cried suddenly.
“Is it a great deal, Miss Dear?”
“It’s more than I’ve ever loved anybody in
this world but one person, and if I should ever
be separated from you I think it would break
my heart—so that you could hear it crack with
a loud report, Sheila.”
The little girl slipped her gray gloved hand
into Nancy’s and held it there silently for a
moment.
“Then we won’t ever be separated, Miss
Dear,” she said.
The shops were crowded with the usual conglomerate
Christmas throng, and their progress
was somewhat retarded by Sheila’s desire to
make the acquaintance of every department-store
and Salvation Army Santa Claus that
they met in their peregrinations. In the toy
department of one of the Thirty-fourth Street
241
shops there was a live Kris Kringle with animated
reindeers on rollers, who made a short
trip across an open space in one end of the department
for a consideration, and presented
each child who rode with him a lovely present,
tied up in tissue and marked “Not to be opened
until Christmas.” Sheila refused a second trip
with him on the ground that it would not be
polite to take more than one turn.
Nancy was able to discover the little girl’s
preferences by a tactful question here and there
when they were making the rounds of the different
counters. She wanted, it developed, a
golden-haired doll with a white fur coat, a pair
of roller skates, an Indian costume, a beaded
pocketbook, with a blue cat embroidered on it, a
parchesi board to play parchesi with her Uncle
Dick, some doll’s dinner dishes, a boy’s bicycle,
some parlor golf sticks, a red leather writing
set, a doll’s manicure set, a sailor-boy paper
doll, a dozen small suede animals in a box, a
drawing book and crayon pencils and several
other trifles of a like nature. The things she
did not want she rejected unerringly. It
pleased Nancy to realize that she knew exactly
what she did want, even though her range of
242
taste was so extensive. Nancy had a sheaf of
her own cards with her address on them in her
pocketbook, and each time Sheila saw the thing
her heart coveted Nancy nodded to the saleswoman
and whispered to her to send it to the
address given and charge to her account.
They took their lunch in a famous confectionary
shop, full of candy animals and alluring
striped candy sticks and baskets. Here
Sheila’s eye was taken by a basket of spun
sugar flowers, which she insisted on buying for
Gaspard. By the time they were ready to resume
their shopping tour, Sheila began to show
signs of fag, so they bought only brooches for
the waitresses, and the watch as thin and exquisite
of workmanship as a man’s pocket watch
could be, for Collier Pratt.
“I think we had better give it to him now,
Miss Dear,” Sheila decided. “I don’t see how
he can wait till Christmas for it—it is so beautiful.
He has not had a gold watch since that
time in Paris when we had all that trouble.”
“What trouble, Sheila dear?” Nancy said.
She had tucked the child in a hansom, and they
were driving slowly through the lower end of
243
Central Park to restore Sheila’s roses before
she was exhibited to her parent.
“When we lost all our money, and my father
and some one I must not speak of, had those
dreadful quarrelings, and we ran away. I do
not like to think of it. My father does not like
to think of it.”
“Well, then, you mustn’t, dear,” Nancy said,
“but just be glad it is all over now. I don’t
like to realize that so many hard things happened
to you and him before I knew you, but
I do like to think that I can perhaps prevent
them ever happening to you again.”
She closed resolutely that department of her
mind that had begun to occupy itself with conjectures
concerning the past of the man to
whom she had given her heart. The child’s
words conjured up nightmare scenes of unknown
panic and dread. It was terrible to her
to know that Collier Pratt had the memory of
so much bitterness and distress of mind and
body locked away in the secret chambers of his
soul. “Some one of whom I must not speak,”
Sheila had said, “and some one of whom I must
not think,” Nancy added to herself. It was
244
probably some one with whom he had quarreled
and struggled passionately maybe, with disastrous
results. He could not have injured or
killed anybody, else how could he be free and
honorably considered in a free and honorable
country? She laughed at her own melodramatic
misgivings. It was only, she realized, that
she so detested the connotation of the words
“ran away.” Nancy had never run away from
anything or anybody in her life, and she could
not understand that any one who was close to
her should ever have the instinct of flight.
The most conscientious objector to New
York’s traffic regulations can not claim that
they fail to regulate. The progress of their
cab down the avenue was so scrupulously regulated
by the benignant guardians of the semaphores
that twilight was deepening into early
December evening before they reached their
objective point,—the ramshackle studio building
on the south side of Washington Square
where the man she loved lived, moved and had
his being, with the gallant ease and grace which
made him so romantic a figure to Nancy’s imagination.
She had never been to his studio before without
245
an appointment, and her heart beat a little
harder as, Sheila’s hand in hers, they tiptoed
up the worn and creaking stairs, through the
ill-kept, airless corridors of the dingy structure,
till they reached the top, and stood breathless
from their impetuous ascent, within a few
feet of Collier Pratt’s battered door.
“I feel a little scared, Miss Dear,” Sheila
whispered. “I thought it was going to be so
much fun and now I don’t think so at all. Do
you think he will be very angry at my coming?”
“I don’t think he will be angry at all,” Nancy
said. “I think he will be very much surprised
and pleased to see both of us. Turn around,
dear, and let me be sure that you’re neat.”
Sheila turned obediently. Nancy fumbled
with her pocket mirror, and then thought better
of it, but passed a precautionary hand over the
back of her hair to reassure herself as to its
arrangement, and straightened her hat.
“Now we’re ready,” she said.
But Sheila put out her hand, and clutched at
Nancy’s sleeve.
“There’s some one in there,” she said, “somebody
crying. Oh! don’t let’s go in, Miss Dear.”
From behind the closed door there issued suddenly
246
the confused murmur of voices, one—a
woman’s—rising and falling in the cadence of
distress, the other low pitched in exasperated
expostulation.
“It’s Collier,” Nancy said mechanically, “and
some woman with him.”
Sheila shrank closer into the protecting shelter
of her arms.
“Don’t let’s go in, Miss Dear,” she repeated.
“It may be just some model,” Nancy said.
“We’ll wait a minute here and see if she doesn’t
come out.”
“I—I don’t want to see who comes out,” the
child said, her face suddenly distorted.
There was a sharp sound of something falling
within, then Collier Pratt’s voice raised
loud in anger.
“You’d better go now,” he said, “before you
do any more damage. I don’t want you here.
Once and for all I tell you that there is no place
for you in my life. Weeping and wailing won’t
do you any good. The only thing for you to do
is to get out and stay out.”
This was answered by an indistinguishable
outburst.
“I won’t tell you where the child is,” Collier
247
Pratt said steadily. “She’s well taken care of.
God knows you never took care of her. There’s
nothing you can do, you know. You might sue
for a restitution of conjugal rights, I suppose,
but if you drag this thing into the courts I’ll
fight it out to the end. I swear I will.”
“You brute,—you—”
At the first clear sound of the woman’s voice
the child at Nancy’s side broke into sobs of
convulsive terror.
“Take me away, Miss Dear. Oh! take me
away from here, quickly, quickly, I’m so frightened.
I’m so afraid she’ll come out and get me.
It’s my mother,” she moaned.