Nancy had no memory of her actions during
the time that elapsed between leaving
the studio building and her arrival at her own
apartment. She knew that she must have
guided Sheila to the beginning of the bus route
at the lower end of the square, and as perfunctorily
signaled the conductor to let her off at
the corner of Fifth Avenue and her own street,
but she could never remember having done so.
Her first conscious recollection was of the few
minutes in Sheila’s room, while she was slipping
off the child’s gaiters, in the interval before
she gave her over to Hitty for the night.
The little girl was still sobbing beneath her
breath, though her emotion was by this time
purely reflexive.
“I didn’t understand that your mother was
living, Sheila,” she said.
“She isn’t very nice,” the little girl said miserably.
“We don’t tell any one. She always
cries and screams and makes us trouble?”
“Did she live with you in Paris?”
“Only sometimes.”
“Does she do—something that she should not
do, Sheila?” Nancy asked, with her mind on inebriety,
or drug addiction.
“She just isn’t very nice,” Sheila repeated.
“She is histérique; she pounded me with her
hands, and hurt me.”
Nancy telephoned to the Inn that she had a
headache, and shut herself into her room, without
food, to gather her scattered forces. She
lay wide-awake all the night through, her mind
trying to work its way through the lethargy of
shock it had received. She remembered falling
down the cellar stairs, when she was a little
girl, and lying for hours on the hard stone floor,
perfectly serene and calm, without pain, until
she tried to do so much as move a little finger
or lift an eyelid, when the intolerable nausea
would begin. She was calm now, until she
made the attempt to think what it was that had
so prostrated her, and then the anguish spread
through her being and convulsed her with unimaginable
distress of mind and body.
By morning she had herself in hand again,—at
least to the extent of dealing with the unthinkable
250
fact that Collier Pratt, her lover, the
man to whom she had given the lover’s right to
hold her in his arms and cover her upturned
face with kisses, had a living wife, and that he
was not free to make honorable love to any
woman.
Her life had been too sound, too sweet, to
give her any perspective on a situation of the
kind. It was inconceivable to her that a married
man should make advances to an unmarried
woman,—but gradually she began to make
excuses for this one man whose circumstances
had been so exceptional. Tied to an insane
creature, who beat his child, who made him
strange hectic scenes, and followed him all over
the world to threaten his security, and menace
that beautiful and inexplicable creative instinct
that animated him like a holy fire, and set him
apart from his kind; she began to see how it
might be with him. She was still the woman he
loved,—she believed that; he was weaker than
she had thought,—that was all, weaker and not
so wise. This being true, she must put aside
her own pain and bewilderment, her own devastating
disillusionment, and comfort him, and
help him. She rose from her bed that morning
251
firmly resolved to see him before the day was
through.
She breakfasted with Sheila, and made a
brave attempt to get through the morning on
her usual schedule, but once at the Inn she collapsed,
and Michael and Betty had to put her
in a cab and send her home again, where Hitty
ministered to her grimly,—and she slept the
sleep of exhaustion until well on into the evening,
and into the night again.
On the day following she was quite herself;
but she still hesitated to bring about the momentous
interview that she so dreaded, and yet
longed for. She intended to take her place at
the table beside Collier Pratt when he came for
his dinner that night, but when the time came
she could not bring herself to do it, and fled
incontinently. Later in the evening he telephoned
that he wanted to see her, and she told
him that he might come.
She faced him with the facts, breathlessly,
and in spite of herself accusingly,—and then
waited for the explanation that would extenuate
the apparent ugliness of his attitude toward
her, and set all the world right for her again.
As she looked into his face she felt that it must
252
come. She noted compassionately how the
shadows under the dark eyes had deepened;
how weary the pose of the fine head; and for the
moment she longed only to rest it on her breast
again. Even as she spoke of the thing that had
so tortured her it seemed insignificant in
light of the fact that he was there beside her,
within reach of her arms whenever she chose
to hold them out to him.
“I regret that the revelation of my private
embarrassments should have been thrust upon
you so suddenly,” he said, when she had poured
out the story to him. “My marriage has proved
the most uncomfortable indiscretion that I ever
committed; and unfortunately my indiscretions
have been numberless as the well-known leaves
of Vallombrosa.”
“You always said that Sheila was motherless,”
Nancy said.
“It is simpler than stating that she is worse
than motherless.”
“Why didn’t you tell me you were married?”
Collier Pratt smiled at her—kindly it seemed
to Nancy.
“It hadn’t anything to do with us,” he said.
“I should never want to marry again—even if
253
I were free. The thought is horrible to me.
You mean a great deal to me. Think, if you
doubt that and think again. I have had in this
little front room of yours the only real moments
of peace and happiness that I have had
for years. I value them—you can not dream or
imagine how much—but surely it is understood
between us that our relation can not be anything
but transitory. I am an artist with a way
to make for my art: you are a working woman
with a career, odd as it is,” he smiled whimsically,
“that you have chosen, and that you will
pursue faithfully until some stalwart young
man dissuades you from it, when you will take
your place in your niche as wife and mother,
and leave me one more beautiful memory.”
“Surely,” Nancy said, “you know it isn’t—like
that.”
“What is it like then?”
Nancy felt every sane premise, every eager
hope and delicate ideal slipping beyond her
reach as she faced his mocking, tender eyes.
“It can’t be that you believe you have been—fair
with me,” she faltered.
“I don’t think I have been unfair,” he said,
“I have made no protestations, you know.”
Nancy shut her eyes. Curious scraps of her
early religious education came back to her.
“You have partaken of my bread and wine,”
she said.
“It wasn’t exactly consecrated.”
“I think it was,” she said faintly. “Oh!
don’t you understand that that isn’t a way for
a man to think or to feel about a woman like
me?”
“Little American girl,” Collier Pratt said,
“little American girl, don’t you understand that
there is only one way for a woman to think or
feel about a man like me? I have had my life,
and I haven’t liked it much. I’m to be loved
warmly and lightly till the flesh and blood
prince comes along, but I’m never to be mistaken
for him.”
“I don’t believe you’re sincere,” Nancy cried;
“women must have loved you deeply, tragically,
and have suffered all the torture there is, at
losing you.”
“That may be. Sincerity is a matter of so
many connotations. You haven’t known many
artists, my dear.”
“No,” said Nancy. “No, but I thought they
were the same as other men, only worthier.”
“How should they be? He who perceives a
merit is not necessarily he who achieves it.
Else the world would be a little more one-sided
than it is.”
“I can’t believe those things,” Nancy said.
“I want to believe in you. You must care for
me, and what becomes of me. You have known
so long what I was like, and what I was made
for. All this seems like a terrible nightmare.
I want you to tell me what it is you want of me,
and let me give it to you.”
“I am proving some faint shadow of worthiness
at least, when I say to you that I want
absolutely nothing of you. I love, but I
refrain.”
“You love,” Nancy cried, “you love?”
“Not as you understand loving, I am afraid.
In my own way I love you.”
“I don’t like your way, then,” Nancy said
wearily.
“We’re both so poor, little girl,—that’s one
thing. If I were free and could overcome my
prejudice against matrimony, and could be a
little surer of my own heart and its constancy,—even
then, don’t you see, practical considerations
would and ought to stand in our way. I
256
couldn’t support you, you couldn’t possibly support
me.”
“I see,” said Nancy. “Would you marry me
If I were rich?” she said slowly.
“I already have one wife,” Collier Pratt
smiled. Nancy remembered afterward that he
smiled oftener during this interview than at
any other. “But if somebody died, and left you
a million, she might possibly be disposed of.”
For one moment, perhaps, his fate hung in
the balance. Then he took a step forward.
“Kiss me good night, dear,” he said, “and let
us end this bitter and fruitless discussion.”
“Kiss you good night,” Nancy cried. “Kiss
you good night. Oh! how dare you!—How dare
you?” And she struck him twice across his
mouth. “I wish I could kill you,” she blazed.
“Oh! how dare you,—how dare you?”
“Oh! very well,” said Collier Pratt calmly,
wiping his mouth with his handkerchief. “If
that’s the way you feel—then our pleasant little
acquaintanceship is ended. I’ll take my hat and
stick and my child—and go.”
“Your child?” Nancy cried aghast. “You
wouldn’t take Sheila away from me.”
“I don’t feel exactly tempted to leave her with
257
you,” he said deliberately. “I don’t mind a
woman striking me—I’m used to that; it is one
of my charming wife’s ways of expressing herself
in moments of stress—but I do object to
any but the most purely formal relations with
her afterward. There is a certain degree of intimacy
involved in your having charge of my
child. I think I will take the little girl away
with me now.”
“Please, please, please don’t,” Nancy said.
“I love her. I couldn’t bear it now. You can’t
be so cruel.”
“Better get it over,” Collier Pratt said. “Will
you call Hitty, or shall I?”
“Sheila is in bed,” Nancy cried. “You
wouldn’t take her out of her warm bed to-night.
I’ll send her to you to-morrow at whatever hour
you ask.”
“I ask for her now.”
There was no fight left in Nancy. She called
Hitty and superintended the dressing of the little
girl to its last detail. She could not touch
her.
“Won’t you kiss me good night, Miss Dear?”
Sheila said, drowsily, as she took her father’s
hand at the door.
“Not to-night,” Nancy said hoarsely. “I’ve
a bad throat, dear, I wouldn’t want you to
catch it.”
“I don’t know where I’m going,” the little
girl said, “but I suppose my father knows. I’ll
come back as soon as I can.”
“Yes, dear,” Nancy said. “Good-by.”
Collier Pratt turned at the door and made an
exaggerated gesture of farewell.
“We part more in anger than in sorrow,” he
said.
“Oh! Go,” Nancy cried.
As the door closed upon the two Nancy sank
to her knees, and thence to a crumpled heap on
the floor, but remembering that Hitty would
find her there shortly, and being entirely unable
to regain her feet unaided, she started to
crawl in the direction of her own room, and
presently arrived there, and pushed the door to
behind her with her heel.
259
CHAPTER XVIII
Tame Skeletons
It was Sunday night, and New Year’s Eve.
Gaspard was preparing, and Molly and Dolly
were serving a special dinner for Preston Eustace,
planned weeks before on his first arrival
in New York.
Before the great logs—imported by Michael
for the occasion—that blazed in the fireplace, a
round table was set, decorously draped in the
most immaculate of fine linen, and crowned
with a wreath of holly and mistletoe, from
which extended red satin trailers with a present
from Nancy for each guest, on the end of each.
All the impedimenta of the restaurant was
cleared away, and a couch and several easy
chairs that Nancy kept in reserve for such occasions
were placed comfortably about the
room. Only the innumerable starry candles
and branching candelabra were reminiscent of
the room’s more professional aspect.
Billy and Caroline were the first to arrive,—Caroline
260
in pale floating green tulle, which accentuated
the pure olive of her coloring, and
transported Billy from his chronic state of
adoration to that of an almost agonizing worship.
Dick and Betty were next. He had realized
the possible awkwardness of the situation
for her, and had been thoughtful enough to offer
to call for her. She was in defiant scarlet
from top to toe, and had never looked more
entrancing. Preston Eustace was to come in
from Long Island where he was spending the
holidays with a married sister. Michael received
the guests and did the honors beamingly.
“Where’s Nancy?” Dick asked, as, divested
of his outer garments, he appeared without
warning in the presence of the lovers. “Don’t
bother to drop her hand, Billy. I don’t see how
you have the heart to, she’s so lovely to-night.”
“We don’t know where Nancy is,” Caroline
answered for him. “It seems to be all right,
though. She’s expected, Michael says.”
“Where’s Nancy?” Betty asked, in her turn,
appearing on the threshold with every hair most
amazingly in place.
“Coming,” Dick reassured her.
“Has anybody heard from her?” Betty asked.
“Michael has, I think.”
“You aren’t worried about her, are you?”
Caroline asked.
“Yes, I am,” Betty said.
“I thought you and Nancy were rather on the
outs,” Caroline suggested. “It seems odd to
have you worrying about her like her maiden
aunt.”
“You wait till you see her, you’ll be worried
about her, too.”
“What’s wrong?” Dick asked quickly.
“She’s lost Sheila for one thing. That unspeakable
Collier Pratt—I hope he chokes on
his dinner to-night, and I hope it’s a rotten dinner—has
taken the child away.”
“The devil he has.”
There was a step on the rickety stair.
“Hush! There she is now,” Caroline cried.
“No,” Betty said quietly, listening. “That’s
not Nancy. That’s your brother, Caroline.”
“I haven’t heard his step for such a long time
I’ve forgotten it,” Billy said.
“I haven’t heard it for a long time either,”
Betty said, her face draining of its last bit of
color.
“Promises to be one of those merry little
262
meals when everybody present is attended by a
tame skeleton,” Billy whispered, “except us,
Caroline.”
“I don’t feel that we have any right to be so
happy with the whole continent of Europe in
the state it’s in,” Caroline whispered in reply.
“I feel better about the continent of Europe
than I did a while back,” Billy said, contentedly.
“Hello, everybody,” Preston Eustace said as
Michael held the door for him. “How’s everything,
Caroline?”
“All right,” Caroline said. Then she added
unnecessarily, “You—you know Betty, don’t
you?”
“I used to know Betty,” he said slowly.
The two looked at each other, with that look
of incredulity with which lovers sometimes
greet each other after absence and estrangement.
“This can’t be you,” their eyes seem to
be saying, “I’ve disposed of you long since, God
help me!”
“How do you do, Preston?” Betty said, giving
him her hand. Then she smiled faintly, and
added with a caricature of her usual manner:
“Lovely weather we’re having for this time of
year, aren’t we?”
“I’m very fond of you, Betty,”—Dick smiled
as she sank into the chair beside him and Preston
turned to his sister. “I think you’re a little
sport.”
“I don’t know how you can, Dicky,” she
smiled at him forlornly. “I’ve got a bad black
heart, and I play the wrong kind of games.”
“Well, I see through them, so it’s all right.
What’s this about Nancy?”
“I’ll tell you later,” Betty said; “there she
comes now.”
Nancy, stimulated by massage and steam, her
hair dressed by a professional; powdered, and
for the first time in her life rouged to hide the
tell-tale absence of her natural quickening color,
came forward to meet her guests in supreme
unconsciousness of the pathos of the effect she
had achieved. She was dressed in snowy white
like a bride,—the only gown she had that was
in keeping with the holiday decorations, and
she moved a little clumsily, as if her brain had
found itself suddenly in charge of an unfamiliar
set of reflexes. Her lids drooped over burning
eyes that had known no sleep for many nights,
and every line and lineament of her face was
stamped with pain.
“I’m so sorry to have kept you waiting,” she
said. Her voice, curiously, was the only natural
thing about her. “I’ve been scouring off every
vestige of my work-a-day self, and that takes
time. Thank you for the roses, Dick, but the
only flowers I could have worn with this color
scheme would have been geraniums.”
“I’ll send you some geraniums to-morrow.”
“Don’t,” she said. “How do you do, Preston?”
She gave him a cold hand, and he stared at
her almost as he had stared at Betty. He was
a tall grave-looking youth, with Caroline’s
straight features and olive coloring, and a shock
of heavy blond hair.
“I hope you’ll like your party,” Nancy hurried
on. “Gaspard is bursting with pride in it.
I think it would be a nice thing to have him in
and drink his health after the coffee. He would
never forget the honor.”
“My God!” Dick said in an undertone to
Betty, “how long has she been like this?”
“I’ll tell you later,” she promised him again.
With the serving of the first course of dinner—Gaspard’s
wonderful Purée Mongol—an artist’s
265
dream of all the most delicate vegetables in
the world mingled together as the clouds are
mingled, the tensity in the air seemed to break
and shatter about them in showers of brilliant,
artificial mirth, which presently, because they
were all young and fond of one another and
their group had the habit of intimacy, became
less and less strained and unreal.
Nancy’s tired eyes lost something of their
unnatural glitter, and Betty seemed more of a
woman than a scarlet sprite, while Caroline’s
smile began to reflect something of the real
gladness that possessed her soul. Dick and
Billy took up the burden of the entertainment
of the party, and gave at least an excellent imitation
of inspirational gaiety.
“This filet of sole,” Billy observed as he sampled
his second course appreciatively, “is common
or barnyard flounder,—and the shrimp
and the oyster crab, and that mushroom of the
sea, and the other little creature in the corner
of my plate who shall be nameless, because I
have no idea what his name is,—are all put in
to make it harder.”
“Gaspard is using some of the simpler native
266
products now instead of the high-priced imported
ones,” Nancy said eagerly, “and he is
getting wonderful results, I think.”
“Flounder a la Française is all right,” Dick
said.
“Our restaurant has reformed,” Betty said.
“We’re running it on a strictly business basis.”
“And making money?” Dick asked quickly.
“We’re not losing much,” Betty said. “That’s
a great improvement.”
“Some of those little girls from the publishing
houses look paler to me than they did,”
Nancy said. “I wish I could give them hypodermics
of protein and carbohydrates.”
“Give me the name and address of any of
your customers that worry you,” Dick said,
“and I’ll buy ’em a cow or a sugar plum tree
or a flivver or anything else they seem to be in
need of.”
“Don’t those things tend to pauperize the
poor?” Caroline’s brother put in gravely.
“Sure they do,” Billy agreed, “only Nancy
has kind of given up her struggle not to pauperize them.”
“I started in with some very high ideals about
scientific service,” Nancy explained. “I was
267
never going to give anybody anything they
hadn’t actually earned in some way, except to
bring up the average of normality by feeding
my patrons surreptitious calories. I had it all
figured out that the only legitimate charity was
putting flesh on the bones of the human race,—that
increasing the general efficiency that way
wasn’t really charity at all.”
“You don’t believe that now?” Preston Eustace
asked.
“I don’t know what I believe now.”
“What is scientific charity, anyhow?” Dick
looked about inquiringly.
“There ain’t no such animal,” Billy contributed.
“It’s substituting the cool human intellect for
the warm human heart, I guess,” Betty said
dreamily.
“But that so often works,” Caroline said.
“I was never going to make any mistakes,”
Nancy said. “I was going to keep my fists scientifically
shut, and my heart beatifically open.”
She hesitated. “I—I was going to swing my
life, and my undertakings—right.” It became
increasingly hard for her to speak, and a little
gasp went round the table. “I’ve—I’ve made
268
nothing—nothing but mistakes,” she finished
piteously.
“But you’ve rectified them,” Betty put in vigorously.
“Nancy, dear, I’ve never known you
to make a mistake that you haven’t rectified,
and that is more than I can say of any other
person in the world.”
“Sirloin and carrots,” Caroline said, as the
next course came in. “I’ll wager you’ve cut
the price of this dinner in two by judicious
ordering.”
“There’s nothing else but field salad,” Nancy
said, still piteously, “and raspberry mousse.”
“Nancy, you’ll break my heart,” Betty said,
wiping her eyes frankly, but Nancy only looked
at her wonderingly, wistfully, preoccupied and
remote, while Preston Eustace gazed at Betty
as if he too would find a welcome relief in shedding
a heavy tear or two.
“Collier Pratt has broken her heart, Dick,”
Betty told him in the limousine on the way
home. “It’s been going on ever since the first
time she saw him. Down at the restaurant
we’ve all known it. She’s been eating at his
table every night for months, and Gaspard and
everybody else in the place, in fact, has been a
269
slave to his lightest whim. I’ve always disliked
him intensely, myself.”
“Why didn’t you tell me before, Betty?”
“It wasn’t my business to tell you. I thought
it was coming off, you know.”
“What was coming off?”
“Their affair. I thought it was past my
meddling.”
“Do you mean to say that you thought Nancy
was going to marry Collier Pratt—Nancy?”
“Why, yes, if I hadn’t I—I wouldn’t have
acted up the way I did in your rooms that
night.”
But Dick neither heard nor understood her.
“Do you mean to say that you think Collier
Pratt has been making love to her?”
“I think so.”
“But the damned scoundrel is married.”
“Oh!” Betty cried. “Oh!—I didn’t know
that.”
“I’ve known it—I’ve always known it,” Dick
said. “I never dreamed that Nancy had any
special interest in him.”
“Well, she had. She’s going through everything,
Dick, even Sheila—you know how she
loved Sheila?”
“I know,” Dick said grimly. “Do you mind
going on home alone, Betty? You’ll be perfectly
safe with Williams, you know.”
“Of course not. What are you going to do,
Dick? Are you going to Nancy?”
“No, I’m not going to Nancy.”
Betty, looking at him more closely, realized
for the first time that she was sitting beside a
man in whom the rage of the primitive animal
was gaining its ascendency. His breath was
coming in short stertorous gasps, his hands
were clinched, the purplish color was mounting
to his brows, but he still went through the motions
of a courteous leave-taking.
“Where are you going, Dick?” she asked
again, as he stood on the curb where he had
signaled Williams to leave him, with the door
of the car in his hand, staring down at it, and
for the moment forgetting to close it.
“I’m going to find Collier Pratt,” he said
thickly. Then with a slam that splintered the
hinge of the door he was holding he crashed it
in toward the car.
271
CHAPTER XIX
Other People’s Troubles
Nancy was trying conscientiously to interest
herself in other people’s troubles.
After the first great shock of pain following
her loss at a blow of her lover and Sheila, she
began automatically to try to work her way
through her suffering. The habit of application
to the daily task combined with her instinct for
taking immediate action in a crisis stood her in
good stead in her hour of need. She decided
what to occupy herself with, and then devoted
herself faithfully to the prescribed occupation.
The Inn did not need her. With Betty to
guide him economically Gaspard was able to
superintend all the details of the establishment
adequately and artistically. Sheila was gone.
She packed up several trunks of dresses and
toys and other childish belongings and sent
them to Washington Square, but even without
these constant reminders of her, the hunger
for the child’s presence did not abate. The little
272
girl was curiously dissociated from her father
in Nancy’s mind. She had seen so little
of the two together that they seemed to belong
to entirely different compartments of her consciousness.
It was only the anguish of losing
them that linked them together.
Nancy decided to devote a certain proportion
of her days and nights to remedying such evils
as lay under her immediate observation;—to
helping the individuals with whom she came
into daily contact—the dependents and tradespeople
with whom she dealt. She had always
been convinced that the people who ministered
to her daily comfort in New York should occupy
some part in her scheme of existence. It was
one of her favorite arguments that a little more
energy and imagination on the part of New
York citizens would develop the communal
spirit which was so painfully lacking in the
soul of the average Manhattanite.
So the milkman and the corner grocer, the
newspaper man, and Hitty’s small brood of
grand nieces and nephews, to say nothing of the
Italian fruit man’s family, and her laundress’s
invalid daughter, were all occupying a considerable
place in Nancy’s daily schedule. In a
273
very short interval she had the welfare of more
than half a dozen families on her hands, and
was involved in all manner of enterprises of a
domestic nature,—from the designing of confirmation
gowns to the purchase of rubber-tired
rolling chairs, and heterogeneous woolen garments
and other intimate necessities.
She was a little ashamed of her new line of
activities, and still hurt enough to shun the
scrutiny of her friends, and thereby succeeded
in mystifying and alarming Billy and Dick and
Betty and Caroline almost beyond the limit of
their endurance by resolutely keeping them at
arm’s length. She was supremely unconscious
of anything at all remarkable in her behavior,
and believed that they accepted her excuses and
apologies at their face value. She had no conception
of the fact that her tortured face, with
tragedy looking newly out of her eyes, kept
them from their rest at night.
Sheila wrote to thank her for sending the
trunks.
“My dear, ma chère, Miss Dear,” she said.
“Merci beaucoup pour my clothes and other
beautiful things. I like them. Je t’aime—je
t’aime toujours. My father will not permit me
274
to go back. Comme—how I desire to see you!
My father has been sick. He fell down or was
hurt in the street. There was blood—a great
deal. Are they well—the others? Tell Monsieur
Dick I give him tout mon coeur. Come to
see me if it is permit. No more. You could
write peut-être. Je t’aime.”
“Yours,
“Sheila.”
Nancy read this letter, in the quaint childish
hand, with a great wave of dumb sickness
creeping over her—a devastating, disintegrating
nausea of soul and body. The most significant
fact in it, however, that Collier Pratt had
fallen down “or been hurt in the street,” of
course escaped her entirely, except to stir her
with a kind of dim pity for his distress.
In one of her long night vigils Preston Eustace’s
face came back to her oddly. She remembered
suddenly the strange sad way he had
stared at Betty on the evening of her party at
the Inn. She reconstructed Betty’s love-story,
and its sudden breaking off, three years before,
and with her new insight into the human heart,
decided that these two loved each other still,
and must be helped to the consummation of
their happiness. She telephoned to them both
the next day that they could be of service to
275
her; and made an appointment to meet them at
a given hour the next evening at her apartment.
She expected and intended to be there herself
to give the meeting the semblance of coincidence,
and to offer them the hospitality of her
house before she was inspired with the excuse
that would permit her an exit that left them
alone together; but she found herself in the
slums of Harlem by an Italian baby’s bedside at
that hour, and decided that even to telephone
would be superfluous, as once finding each other
the lovers would be oblivious to all other considerations.
What actually happened was that Preston
Eustace, exactly on time as was his habit, had
been waiting some ten minutes on Nancy’s
hearth-rug when Betty, delayed by the eccentricities
of a casual motor-bus engine, and frantic
with anxiety for her friend, burst in upon
him. So full was she of the most hectic speculations
concerning Nancy’s sudden appeal to
her that she scarcely noticed who was waiting
there to greet her, and when she did notice,
scarcely heeded that recognition.
“Where’s Nancy?” she demanded breathlessly.
“I don’t know, Betty,” Preston Eustace said.
“Doesn’t Hitty know?”
“She says she doesn’t!”
“How did you happen to be here?”
“She sent for me.”
“She’s probably sent for everybody else,”
Betty said. “She’s killed herself, I know she
has.”
“What makes you think so?”
“Her heart is broken, she’s been suffering
terribly.”
“I don’t think she would have sent for me
if she had been going to kill herself,” Preston
Eustace said, a little as if he would have added,
“We are not on those terms.”
“I don’t suppose she would,” Betty said. “But
oh, Preston, I’m so worried about her. I don’t
know where she is or anything. I tell you her
heart is broken.”
“I didn’t know you believed in hearts—broken
or otherwise, Betty.”
“I believe in Nancy’s heart.”
“You never believed in mine.”
“You never gave me much reason to, Preston.
You—you let me give you back your ring the
first time I threatened to.”
“Of course I did.”
“You never came near me again.”
“Of course I didn’t.”
“You let three years go by without a word.”
“Of course—”
“If you say ‘of course I did’ again I’ll fly
straight up through this roof. If you’d ever
loved me you wouldn’t have gone away and
left me.”
“If I hadn’t loved you I wouldn’t have gone
away.”
“Oh, dear,” Betty sighed. “I don’t see how
you can stand there and think about yourself
with Nancy out in the night—we don’t know
where.”
“Ourselves, Betty—did you ever really love
me?”
“It doesn’t make any difference whether I
did or not,” Betty said. “I hate men.”
“I think I’d better be going,” Preston Eustace
said, his face dark with pain. He was
rather a literal-minded young man, as Caroline’s
brother would have been likely to be.
Betty buried her face in her hands.
“My head aches,” she said, “and I was never
in my life so mad and so miserable. I can’t
278
understand why everything and everybody
should behave so—devilishly. You and every
one else, I mean. I just simply can’t bear to
have Nancy suffer so. My head aches and my
heart aches and my soul aches.” She lifted her
head defiantly.
“I think I had better be going,” Preston Eustace
repeated, looking down at her sorrowfully.
“Oh! don’t be going,” Betty said. “What in
the name of sense do you want to be going for?”
Then without warning or premeditation she
hurled herself at his breast. “Oh! Preston, if
there is anything comforting in this world,”
she said, “tell it to me, now.”
Preston Eustace gathered her to his breast
with infinite tenderness.
“I love you,” he said with his lips on her
brow. “Doesn’t that comfort you a little?”
“Yes,” she admitted, “yes,” winding her arms
about his neck, “but you have no idea what a
little devil I am, Preston.”
“I don’t want to have any idea,” he said, still
holding her hungrily.
“No, I don’t think you do,” Betty said. “Oh!
kiss me again, dear, and tell me you won’t ever
let me go now.”
When Nancy came in she found the lovers so
oblivious to the sound of her key in the latch or
her footstep in the corridor that she decided to
slip into bed without disturbing them, and did
so, without their ever realizing that for the latter
part of the evening at least, they had a
hostess within range of the sound of their voices—indeed,
she was obliged to stuff the pillow
into her ears to prevent herself from actually
hearing what they were saying.
At first her freedom—her release from the
monotonous constraint of her daily confinement
at the Inn—the unaccustomed independence of
her new activities which justified her most
untoward goings and comings—was very soothing
to her. She liked the feeling of slipping out
of the house at night, accountable to no one
except the redoubtable Hitty to whom she presented
any explanation that happened to occur
to her,—however wide its departure from the
actual facts—and losing herself in the resurgent
town. But after a while her liberty lost its
savor. She began to feel uncared for and neglected.
The unaccountable anguish in her
breast was neither assuaged nor mitigated by
280
the geographical latitude she permitted herself.
She kept doggedly on with her personally conducted
philanthropies, but she began to feel a
little frightened about her capacity for endurance.
Her body and brain began to show
strange signs of fatigue. She was afraid that
one or the other might suddenly refuse to
function.
One night, on coming out into the heterogeneous
human stream on Avenue A, after a visit
to a Polish family in the model tenements on
Seventy-ninth Street, she ran into Dick.
“Why, Dick,” she said, “what an extraordinary
place to find you!”
“Yes, isn’t it?” he said. “My business often
brings me up this way.”
“Your business? What business?” she asked
incredulously.
“I don’t know exactly what business it is.
The ministering business, I guess.” He motioned
toward the basket on her arm: “Let me
carry that, and you, too, if you’ll let me, Nancy.
You look tired.”
“I am tired, Dick,” she said. “Have you got
a car anywhere around?”
“I can phone for it in two shakes,” he said.
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“Here in this ice-cream parlor. Can I buy you
a cone while you’re waiting?”
“Buy cones for that crowd of children and I’ll
watch them eat them. Doesn’t that little girl
in the pink dress look like Sheila, Dick?”
She sank down on a stool in the interior of
the candy shop and rested her elbows on the
damp marble table in front of her, splotched
and streaked still with the refreshment of the
last customer who occupied the seat there and
watched the horde of dirty clamorous street
children devouring ice-cream cones and cheap
sweets to the limit of their capacity.
“I didn’t know you believed in this promiscuous
feeding of children between meals,” Dick
said, when she was settled comfortably at last
among the cushions of his car, which had arrived
on the scene with an amazing, not to say,
suspicious promptness.
“I don’t,” Nancy said, “in the least; but I
don’t really believe in the things I believe in
any more.”
“Poor Nancy!” Dick said.
“I’ve had some trouble, Dick. I’m shaken all
out of my poise. I can’t seem to get my universe
straight again.”
“I’m sorry for that,” he said. “Anything I
can do?”
“Stand by; that’s all, I guess.”
“You couldn’t tell me a little more about it,
could you?”
“No, I couldn’t, Dick.”
“I’m not even to guess?”
“You couldn’t guess. It’s the kind of thing
that’s entirely outside of—of the probabilities.
I think it’s outside of the range of your understanding,
Dick. I don’t think you know that
there is exactly that kind of trouble in the
world.”
“And you think you’d better not enlighten
me?”
“I couldn’t, Dick, even if I wanted to. Funny
you happened to be in this part of town to-night
just when I really needed you.”
He smiled. Every night of his life he followed her,
watching over her, dodging down
dark alley ways, waiting at squalid entrances
until she came out. To-night he had ventured
to speak to her only because he knew her to be
in need of actual physical assistance.
“Awfully glad to be anywhere around when
you need me,” he said; “still I hope you don’t
283
mind my suggesting that this is a Gehenna of a
place for either of us to be in.”
“Haven’t you any feeling for the downtrodden?”
Nancy asked, with a faint reflection of
what Billy referred to as her “older and better
manner.”
“I’m downtrodden myself, Nancy.”
She smiled in her turn.
“You don’t look very downtrodden to me,”
she said. “You’ve got everything to live for.”
“Everything?”
“Well, money and freedom and—and—”
“Money is the only thing I’ve got that you
haven’t, and that doesn’t mean much unless you
can share it with the person you love.”
“No, it doesn’t, does it?” Nancy said unexpectedly.
“What’s that scar on your forehead?”
“That’s a scratch I got.”
“How?”
“Shaving or fighting, or something like that.”
“Was it fighting, Dick?”
“Yes.”
“Who were you fighting with?”
“I wasn’t fighting. I was assaulting and
battering.”
“Why, Dick!”
“If it’s any satisfaction to you to know it I
made one grand job of it.”
“Why should it be any satisfaction to me?”
“I don’t know.”
“Why, Dick!” Nancy said again. “I didn’t
know you had any of that kind of brutality in
you.”
“Didn’t you?”
“What happens to a man when he—does a
thing like that?”
“He gets jugged.”
“Did he get jugged?”
“Well, that wasn’t the part that interested
me.”
An odd picture presented itself to Nancy’s
mind of the men of the world engaged in one
grand mêlée of brawling; struggling, belaying
one another with their bare fists, drawing
blood; brutes turned on brutes.
“Men are queer things,” she said.
Dick’s face was turned away from her. It
was not at the moment a face she would have
recognized. The eyes were contracted: the
nostrils quivering: the teeth set.
“I’m always at your service, Nancy,” he said
285
presently. “Is there anything in the world you
want that I can get for you?”
“The only thing I want is something you
can’t get?”
“And that is?”
“Sheila.”
“No,” Dick said. “I can’t get Sheila for you.
I’m sorry. I suppose that’s the whole answer
to you,” he went on musingly. “You want
something, somebody to mother—to minister
to. It doesn’t make so much difference what
else it is, so long as it’s—downtrodden. That’s
why I’ve never made more of a hit with you.
I’ve never been downtrodden enough. I didn’t
need feeding or nursing. I’ve always sort of
cherished the feeling that I liked to be the one
creature you didn’t have to carry on your back.
I thought that to stand behind you was a pretty
good stunt, but you’ve never needed anything
yet to fall back on.”
“I don’t think I ever shall,” Nancy said.
“Not,—not in the way you mean, Dick.”
“So be it,” he said, folding his arms. “But
there’s still one thing you’ll take from me, and
that’s the thing I’ve got that you haven’t—money.
I never have cared much about it
286
before, but now that there are so many things
I can’t put right for you, I know you won’t be
selfish enough to deny this one satisfaction.
Let me make over to you all the money you need
to get you out of your difficulties with the Inn.
Let me hand out a good round sum for all these
charities of yours. If you knew how everything
else in connection with you had conspired
to hurt me,—how this being discounted and losing
out all around has cut into me, you wouldn’t
deny me this one privilege. You don’t want
me, you wouldn’t take me, but for God’s sake,
Nancy, take this one thing that I can give you.”
They had just swung into the lower entrance
of the Park, and the big car was speeding silently
into the deepening night, low hung with
silver stars, and jeweled with soft lights.
“You’re awfully good to me, Dick,” Nancy
said, “and I appreciate every word you’ve been
saying. I’d take your money, not for myself,
but for the things I’m doing, if I needed it, but
I don’t, you know.” She looked out into the
coolness of the evening, lulled by the transition
to a region of so much airiness and space,
soothed by the soft motion, and the presence of
a friend who loved her. The conversation in
287
which she was engaged suddenly became trivial
and unimportant to her. She was very tired,
and she found herself beginning to rest and
relax. “I don’t need it,” she repeated vaguely.
“I’ve got plenty of money of my own. Over a
million, Billy says now. Uncle Elijah left it to
me. I didn’t want him to, but perhaps it was
all for the best.” She put her head back against
the cushions and shut her eyes. “I’m terribly
sleepy,” she said, “and as for the Inn—that’s
making money, too, you know. Last month we
cleared more than two hundred dollars.”
And Dick saying nothing, but continuing to
stare into space—the panoramic space fleeting
rhythmically by the car window,—she let herself
gradually slip into the depths of sudden
drowsiness that had overtaken her.
Hitty put on her bonnet—she had worn
widow’s weeds for twenty-five years—and
went out into the morning. She finally
succeeded in boarding a south-bound Sixth
Avenue car,—though since it was her habit to
ignore the near side stop regulation, she always
had considerable trouble in getting on any car,—and
in seating herself bolt upright on the
lengthwise seat, her black gloved hands folded
indomitably before her.
At Fourth Street she descended and made
her way east to the square, and thence to the
top floor of the studio building to which Collier
Pratt had taken his little daughter on the memorable
occasion when he had plucked her from
her warm nest of blankets and led her, sleepy
and shivering, into the cold of the night. She
had been at some pains to secure the address
without taking Nancy into her confidence.
She took each creaking stair with a snort of
disgust, and reaching the battered door with
289
Collier Pratt’s visiting card tacked on the
smeary panel on a level with her eye, she
knocked sharply, and scorning to wait for a reply,
turned the knob and walked in.
Collier Pratt was making coffee on a small
spirit lamp, set on the wash-stand, which was
decorously concealed during the more formal
hours of the day behind a soft colored Japanese
screen. He was wearing a smutty painter’s
smock, and though his face was shining with
soap and water, his hair was standing about
his face in a disorder eloquent of at least a
dozen hours’ neglect. Sheila, in a mussy gingham
dress, was trying to pry off the pasteboard
covering of a pint bottle of milk with a pair of
scissors, and succeeding only indifferently. They
both turned on Hitty’s entrance, and the milk
bottle went crashing to the floor when the little
girl recognized her friend, but after one terrified
look at her father she made no move at all
in Hitty’s direction.
“And to what,” Collier Pratt ejaculated
slowly and disagreeably, as is any man’s wont
before he has had his draught of breakfast
coffee, “am I to attribute the pleasure of this
visit?”
“It ain’t no pleasure to me,” Hitty said, advancing,
a figure of menace, into the center of
the dusty workshop, strangely uncouth and unprepossessing
in the cold morning light,—“and
if it’s any pleasure to you, that’s an effect that
I ain’t calculated to produce. I’ve come here on
business—the business of collecting that poor
neglected child there, and taking her back
where she belongs, where there’s folks that
knows enough to treat her right.”
“Another of Miss Martin’s friends and well-wishers,
I take it. These American girls are
given to surrounding themselves with groups
of warm and impulsive associates. Do you by
any chance happen to know a young lawyer by
the name of Boynton, Hitty? A collection
lawyer?”
“I’ll thank you to call me Mrs. Spinney, if you
please, or if you don’t please. Mrs. Spinney is
the name I go by when I’m spoken to by them
that knows their manners. If Billy Boynton
thinks he can collect blood out of a stone he’s
welcome to try, but I should think he was too
long headed to waste his time.”
“I gave him my I. O. U.,” Collier Pratt said
wearily. “If you don’t mind, Hitty,—I really
291
must be excused from your inexcusable surname—I
am going to drink a cup of coffee before
we continue this interesting discussion—café
noir, our late unfortunate accident depriving
me of café au lait as usual. Sheila, get the
cups.”
“You don’t mean to say that you feed that
peaked child with full strength coffee, do you?
It’ll stunt her growth; ain’t you got the sense
to know that?”
“I don’t like big women,” Collier Pratt said.
“She’s very fond of coffee.”
“Well! I’ve come to get her and take her
away where you won’t be in a position to stunt
her growth, whatever your ideas on the subject
is.”
Collier Pratt seated himself at the deal table
that Sheila had set with the coffee-cups and a
big loaf of French bread, and began slowly
consuming a bowl of inky fluid, strong of chicory,
into which from time to time he dipped a
portion of the loaf. Sheila imitated his processes
with less daintiness and precision, since
she was shaken with excitement at Hitty’s
appearance.
“I should spread a newspaper down if I was
292
you,” Hitty said, “before I et my vittles off a
table that way. If a table ain’t scrubbed as
often as twice a day it ain’t fit to be et off.”
“I know your breed,” Collier Pratt said.
“You’d be capable of taking your breakfast off
The Evening Telegram if no more appropriately
colored sheet were at hand. Tell me, did Miss
Martin send you here this morning, or was the
inspiration to come entirely your own?”
“Nobody had to send me. Wild horses
wouldn’t have kept me away from here.”
“Nor drag you away from here, I suppose,
until your gruesome visit is accomplished.
What makes you think that I would give up
Sheila to you?”
“I don’t think you would. I know you’re
a-goin’ to.”
“Indeed.”
“We want the child. You don’t want her,
and you can’t pretend to me that you do. Even
if you did want her you can’t take care of her
in no way that’s decent.”
“There’s a great deal in what you say, Hitty.”
“What you’re going to do is to sign a paper
giving up your claim to her, and then Nancy
can adopt her when she sees fitting to do so.”
“What would you suggest my doing about the
child’s mother? She has a mother living, you
know.”
“Well, I didn’t know,” Hitty said, “but now
I do know I guess I ain’t going to have so much
trouble as I thought I was. You’re just a plain
low-down yellow cur that any likely man I know
would come down here and lick the lights out
of.”
“Well, don’t send any more of them, Hitty,”
Collier Pratt protested. “My work won’t
stand it.”
“You ’tend to the child’s mother then, and
I’ll ’tend to you. You’d better let Sheila come
away peaceable without any more trouble.”
“What do you propose doing to me if I don’t?”
“There’s so many different things I could
use,” Hitty said thoughtfully, “that I don’t
know which one to hold over your head first.”
“I don’t see how you could use anything
you’ve got.”
“I’d just as soon use something I hadn’t got,”
Hitty said grimly. “I’d sue you for breach o’
promise myself ruther than lose what I come
after.”
“I don’t doubt you’re capable of it,” Collier
294
Pratt said, surveying her ruefully. “That certainly
would ruin my reputation. But seriously,
supposing I were to give my consent to
Sheila’s going back to Miss Martin—Sheila’s
fond of her, and I should be very glad to do
Miss Martin a service—little as you may be inclined
to believe it of me. I’m fond enough of
the child, but she is a considerable embarrassment
to a man situated as I am. Supposing I
should consent to giving her up as you suggest,
how can a woman situated as Miss Martin is
situated undertake such a charge permanently?
How could she afford it? What kind of a future
should I be surrendering my little girl to?
One has to think of those things. Miss Martin is
a poor girl—”
“It’s a lucky thing that you didn’t know it
before,” Hitty said deliberately. “What you
don’t know that a woman’s got, you wouldn’t be
trying to get away from her. Nancy’s Uncle
Elijah that died last year left her a million
dollars in his will.”
“The devil he did—”
“I guess if anybody’s going to talk about
devils it had better be me,” Hitty said dryly.
“Does the child go or stay?”
“Oh! she goes,” Collier Pratt said. “I’m
sorry you didn’t come after me too, Hitty.”
“Nobody from up our way is ever coming
after you. You can put that in your pipe and
smoke it. Put on your bonnet, Sheila.”
“In some ways that is more of a relief than
you know, Hitty. Some of the young men from
up your way are so violent.”
“It ain’t generally known yet,” Hitty said as
a parting shot when, Sheila’s hand in hers, she
stood at the door preparatory to taking her
triumphal departure. “But Nancy is going to
marry considerable money in addition to what
she’s inherited.”
Nancy finding it impossible to spend an hour
of her time idly and with no appointments before
noon that day, was engaged in darning a
basket full of slum socks that she had brought
home from the tenements to occupy Hitty’s leisure
moments. She was not very expert at
this particular task, and the holes were so huge,
and their method of behaving under scientific
management so peculiar—it is hardly necessary
to say that Nancy knew the theory of
darning perfectly—that she was becoming more
and more dissatisfied with her progress. Hitty’s
296
unprecedented and taciturn donning of her best
bonnet in the early morning hours, followed by
her abrupt departure without explanation or
apology, was also a little disconcerting to any
one acquainted with her habits. Nancy was relieved
to hear her key in the lock again, and put
down her work to greet her.
The door opened and Sheila stood on the
threshold. Hitty was close behind her, but
Nancy had eyes only for the child.
“Don’t cry, Miss Dear,” Sheila said, in her
arms. “I cried hard every night when I was
gone from you, but now I have come back. My
father does not want me, and he says that you
can have me.”
“He signed a paper,” Hitty said. “I’ve got
it in my bag with my specs. If ever he shows
his face around here we can have the law on
him.”
“Can I really have Sheila?” Nancy cried. “I
can’t believe that—her father would let her go.
I can’t understand it.”
“He’s a kind of a poor soul,” Hitty said. “He
ain’t got no real contrivance. He’s glad enough
to get rid of her.”
“Did he say so?”
“Well, nearabout. He has a high-falutin way
of talking but that was the amount of it. He
knows which side his bread is buttered. He
ain’t nobody’s fool. I’ll say that for him.”
“I can’t say that you make him out a very
pleasant character,” Nancy said. “But he’s an
artist, Hitty. Artists don’t react to the same
set of laws that we do. They’re different somehow.”
“They ain’t so different, when it comes to
that,” Hitty said dryly. “They won’t take a
hint, but the harder you kick ’em the better for
all concerned. Don’t you go sticking up for
that low-down loon. He ain’t worth it.”
“I suppose he isn’t,” Nancy said; “he’s a
pretty poor apology for a man as we understand
men, Hitty, but there’s something about him,—a
power and a charm that you can’t altogether
discount, even though you have lost every particle
of your respect for him.”
“He has a kind of way,” Hitty conceded, “but
I ain’t one o’ them kind o’ women that hankers
much for the society of a man that’s once shown
himself to be more of a sneak than the average.”
“I don’t think that I am, either,” Nancy said
gravely.
“I want to be your little girl always,” Sheila
announced, “if I may talk now, may I? And
Monsieur Dick’s, too, and sit on a cushion and
sew a fine seam, and feast upon strawberries,
sugar and cream. I want to see Monsieur Dick.
Where is he?”
“He’s been sick,” Nancy said, “but he’s getting
better now, I think. I haven’t seen him
for some time, myself.”
“Don’t you love him very much and aren’t
you very sorry?”
“He probably isn’t very sick,” Nancy said.
“I don’t think he could be—but if he were I
should be sorry, of course.”
“I don’t want him to be sick,” Sheila said,
making herself a nest in Nancy’s lap, and curling
around in it like a kitten. “If he was I
should be very, very unhappy, and I am tired
of being unhappy, Miss Dear.”
Nancy’s arms closed tight about her little
body, which was lighter in her arms than she
had ever known it. “Oh! I’m going to make
such a strong well, little girl of you,” she cried,
“and we’re going to have so many pleasant
times together. I’m tired of being unhappy,
too, Sheila, dear.”