“My dear,” said Mrs. Curtis, one Monday morning, “I offered Colonel Keith a seat in the carriage to go to the annual book-club meeting with us. Mr. Spicer is going to propose him as a member of the club, you know, and I thought the close carriage would be better for him. I suppose you will be ready by eleven; we ought to set out by that time, not to hurry the horses.”
“I am not going,” returned Rachel, an announcement that electrified her auditors, for the family quota of books being quite insufficient for her insatiable appetite, she was a subscriber on her own account, and besides, this was the grand annual gathering for disposing of old books, when she was relied on for purchasing all the nuts that nobody else would crack. The whole affair was one of the few social gatherings that she really tolerated and enjoyed, and her mother gazed at her in amazement.
“I wrote to Mrs. Spicer a month ago to take my name off. I have no superfluous money to spend on my selfish amusement.”
“But Rachel,” said Grace, “did you not particularly want—oh! that fat red book which came to us uncut?”
“I did, but I must do without it.”
“Poor Mr. Spicer, he reckoned on you to take it; indeed, he thought you had promised him.”
“If there is anything like a promise, I suppose it must be done, but I do not believe there is. I trust to you, Grace, you know I have nothing to waste.”
“You had better go yourself, my dear, and then you would be able to judge. It would be more civil by the society, too.”
“No matter, indeed I cannot; in fact, Mr. Mauleverer is coming this morning to give his report and arrange our building plans. I want to introduce him to Mr. Mitchell, and fix a day for going over.”
Mrs. Curtis gave up in despair, and consulted her eldest daughter in private whether there could have been any misunderstanding with Colonel Keith to lead Rachel to avoid him in a manner that was becoming pointed. Grace deemed it nothing but absorption into the F. U. E. E., and poor Mrs. Curtis sighed over this fleeting away of her sole chance of seeing Rachel like other people. Of Mr. Mauleverer personally she had no fears, he was in her eyes like a drawing or music-master, and had never pretended to be on equal terms in society with her daughters, and she had no doubts or scruples in leaving Rachel to her business interview with him, though she much regretted this further lapse from the ordinary paths of sociability.
Rachel, on the other hand, felt calmly magnanimous in the completion of a veritable sacrifice, for those books had afforded her much enjoyment, and she would much like to have possessed many of those that would be tossed aside at a cheap rate. But the constant small expenses entailed by the first setting on foot such an establishment as the F. U. E. E. were a heavy drain on her private purse, as she insisted on all accounts being brought to her, and then could not bear that these small nondescript matters should be charged upon the general fund, which having already paid the first half-year’s rent in advance, and furnished the house, must be recruited by some extraordinary supply before she could build. The thing could not be done at all but by rigid economy, and she was ready to exercise it, and happy in so doing. And the Colonel? She thought the pain of her resolution was passing. After all, it was not so dreadful as people would have one believe, it was no such wrench as novels described to make up one’s mind to prefer a systematically useful life to an agreeable man.
Mr. Mauleverer came, with a good report of the children’s progress, and talking quite enthusiastically of Lovedy’s sweetness and intelligence. Perhaps she would turn out a superior artist, now that chill penury no longer repressed her noble rage, and he further brought a small demand for drawing materials and blocks for engraving, to the amount of five pounds, which Rachel defrayed from the general fund, but sighed over its diminution.
“If I could only make the Barnaby bargain available,” she said; “it is cruel to have it tied up to mere apprenticeships, which in the present state of things are absolutely useless, or worse.”
“Can nothing be done?”
“You shall hear. Dame Rachel Curtis, in 1605, just when this place was taking up lace-making, an art learnt, I believe, from some poor nuns that were turned out of St. Mary’s, at Avoncester, thought she did an immense benefit to the place by buying the bit of land known as Burnaby’s Bargain, and making the rents go yearly to apprentice two poor girls born of honest parents. The rent is fourteen pounds, and so the fees are so small that only the small lace-makers here will accept them. I cannot get the girls apprenticed to anything better in the towns except for a much larger premium.”
“Do I understand you that such a premium is at present to be bestowed?”
“No, not till next June. The two victims for this year have been sacrificed. But perhaps another time it might be possible to bind them to you as a wood engraver or printer!” cried Rachel, joyfully.
“I should be most happy. But who would be the persons concerned?”
“The trustees are the representative of our family and the rector of the parish—not Mr. Touchett (this is only a district), but poor old Mr. Linton at Avonbridge, who is barely able to sign the papers, so that practically it all comes to me.”
“Extremely fortunate for the objects of the charity.”
“I wish it were so; but if it could only be made available in such a cause as ours, I am sure my good namesake’s intentions would be much better carried out than by binding these poor girls down to their cushions. I did once ask about it, but I was told it could only be altered by Act of Parliament.”
“Great facilities have of late been given,” said Mr. Mauleverer, “many old endowments have most beneficially extended their scope. May I ask where the land in question is?”
“It is the level bit of meadow just by the river, and all the slope down to the mouth; it has always been in our hands, and paid rent as part of the farm. You know how well it looks from the garden-seat, but it always grieves me when people admire it, for I feel as if it were thrown away.”
“Ah! I understand. Perhaps if I could see the papers I could judge of the feasibility of some change.”
Rachel gladly assented, and knowing where to find the keys of the strong box, she returned in a short space with a parcel tied up with, red tape, and labelled “Barnaby’s Bargain.”
“I have been thinking,” she exclaimed, as she came in, “that that piece of land must have grown much more valuable since this rent was set on it! Fourteen pounds a year, why we never thought of it; but surely in such a situation, it would be worth very much more for building purposes.”
“There can be no doubt. But your approach, Miss Curtis?”
“If it is a matter of justice to the charity, of course that could not be weighed a moment. But we must consider what is to be done. Get the land valued, and pay rent for it accordingly? I would give it up to its fate, and let it for what it would bring, but it would break my mother’s heart to see it built on.”
“Perhaps I had better take the papers and look over them. I see they will need much consideration.”
“Very well, that will be the best way, but we will say nothing about it till we have come to some conclusion, or we shall only startle and distress my mother. After all, then, I do believe we have the real income of the F. U. E. E. within our very hands! It might be ten times what it is now.”
Rachel was in higher spirits than ever. To oblige the estate to pay £140 a year to the F. U. E. E. was beyond measure delightful, and though it would be in fact only taking out of the family pocket, yet that was a pocket she could not otherwise get at. The only thing for which she was sorry was that Mr. Mauleverer had an appointment, and could not come with her to call on Mr. Mitchell; but instead of this introduction, as she had sworn herself to secrecy rather than worry her mother till the ways and means were matured, she resolved, by way of compensation, upon going down to impart to Ermine Williams this grave reformation of abuses, since this was an afternoon when there was no chance of meeting the Colonel.
Very happy did she feel in the hope that had come to crown her efforts at the very moment when she had actually and tangibly given up a pleasure, and closed a door opening into worldly life, and she was walking along with a sense of almost consecrated usefulness, to seek her companion in the path of maiden devotion, when in passing the gates of Myrtlewood, she was greeted by Captain Keith and his bright-eyed sister, just coming forth together.
A few words told that they were all bound for Mackarel Lane, actuated by the same probability of finding Miss Williams alone, the Colonel being absent.
“Wonderfully kind to her he is,” said Rachel, glad to praise him to convince herself that she did not feel bitter; “he takes that little girl out walking with him every morning.”
“I wonder if his constancy will ever be rewarded?” said Bessie, lightly; then, as Rachel looked at her in wonder and almost rebuke for so direct and impertinent a jest, she exclaimed, “Surely you are not in ignorance! What have I done? I thought all the world knew—all the inner world, that is, that revels in a secret.”
“Knew what?” said Rachel, unavoidable intolerable colour rushing into her face.
“Why the romance of Colin and Ermine! To live on the verge of such a—a tragi-comedy, is it? and not be aware of it, I do pity you.”
“The only wonder is how you knew it,” said her brother, in a tone of repression.
“I! Oh, it is a fine thing to be a long-eared little pitcher when one’s elders imagine one hears nothing but what is addressed to oneself. There I sat, supposed to be at my lessons, when the English letters came in, and I heard papa communicating to mamma how he had a letter from old Lord Keith—not this one but one older still—the father of him—about his son’s exchange—wanted papa to know that he was exemplary and all that, and hoped he would be kind to him, but just insinuated that leave was not desirable—in fact it was to break off an affair at home. And then, while I was all on fire to see what a lover looked like, comes another letter, this time to mamma, from Lady Alison something, who could not help recommending to her kindness her dear nephew Colin, going out broken-hearted at what was feared would prove a fatal accident, to the dearest, noblest girl in the world, for so she must call Ermine Williams. Ermine was a name to stick in one’s memory if Williams was not, and so I assumed sufficient certainty to draw it all out of dear Lady Temple.”
“She knows then?” said Rachel, breathlessly, but on her guard.
“Know? Yes, or she could hardly make such a brother of the Colonel. In fact, I think it is a bit of treachery to us all to keep such an affair concealed, don’t you?” with a vivid flash out of the corner of her eyes.
“Treachery not to post up a list of all one’s—”
“One’s conquests?” said Bessie, snatching the word out of her brother’s mouth. “Did you ever hear a more ingenious intimation of the number one has to boast?”
“Only in character,” calmly returned Alick.
“But do not laugh,” said Rachel, who had by this time collected herself; “if this is so, it must be far too sad and melancholy to be laughed about.”
“So it is,” said Alick, with a tone of feeling. “It has been a mournful business from the first, and I do not see how it is to end.”
“Why, I suppose Colonel Colin is his own master now,” said Bessie; “and if he has no objection I do not see who else can make any.”
“There are people in the world who are what Tennyson calls ‘selfless,’” returned Alick.
“Then the objection comes from her?” said Rachel, anxiously.
“So saith Lady Temple,” returned Bessie.
They were by this time in Mackarel Lane. Rachel would have given much to have been able to turn back and look this strange news in the face, but consciousness and fear of the construction that might be put on her change of purpose forced her on, and in a few moments the three were in the little parlour, where Ermine’s station was now by the fire. There could be no doubt, as Rachel owned to herself instantly, that there was a change since she first had studied that face. The bright colouring, and far more, the active intellect and lively spirit, had always obviated any expression of pining or invalidism; but to the air of cheerfulness was added a look of freshened health and thorough happiness, that rendered the always striking features absolutely beautiful; more so, perhaps, than in their earliest bloom; and the hair and dress, though always neat, and still as simply arranged as possible, had an indescribable air of care and taste that added to the effect of grace and pleasantness, and made Rachel feel convinced in a moment that the wonder would have been not in constancy to such a creature but in inconstancy. The notion that any one could turn from that brilliant, beaming, refined face to her own, struck her with a sudden humiliation. There was plenty of conversation, and her voice was not immediately wanted; indeed, she hardly attended to what was passing, and really dreaded outstaying the brother and sister. When Ermine turned to her, and asked after Lovedy Kelland in her new home, she replied like one in a dream, then gathered herself up and answered to the point, but feeling the restraint intolerable, soon rose to take leave.
“So soon?” said Ermine; “I have not seen you for a long time.”
“I—I was afraid of being in the way,” said Rachel, the first time probably that such a fear had ever suggested itself to her, and blushing as Ermine did not blush.
“We are sure to be alone after twilight,” said Ermine, “if that is not too late for you, but I know you are much occupied now.”
Somehow that invalid in her chair had the dignity of a queen appointing her levee, and Rachel followed the impulse of thanking and promising, but then quickly made her escape to her own thoughts.
“Her whole soul is in that asylum,” said Ermine, smiling as she went. “I should like to hear that it is going on satisfactorily, but she does not seem to have time even to talk.”
“The most wonderful consummation of all,” observed Bessie.
“No,” said Ermine, “the previous talk was not chatter, but real effervescence from the unsatisfied craving for something to do.”
“And has she anything to do now?” said Bessie.
“That is exactly what I want to know. It would be a great pity if all this real self-devotion were thrown away.”
“It cannot be thrown away,” said Alick.
“Not on herself,” said Ermine, “but one would not see it misdirected, both for the waste of good energy and the bitter disappointment.”
“Well,” said Bessie, “I can’t bear people to be so dreadfully in earnest!”
“You are accountable for the introduction, are not you?” said Ermine.
“I’m quite willing! I think a good downfall plump would be the most wholesome thing that could happen to her; and besides, I never told her to take the man for her almoner and counsellor! I may have pointed to the gulf, but I never bade Curtia leap into it.”
“I wish there were any one to make inquiries about this person,” said Ermine; “but when Colonel Keith came it was too late. I hoped she might consult him, but she has been so much absorbed that she really has never come in his way.”
“She would never consult any one,” said Bessie.
“I am not sure of that,” replied Ermine. “I think that her real simplicity is what makes her appear so opinionated. I verily believe that there is a great capability of humility at the bottom.”
“Of the gulf,” laughed Bessie; but her brother said, “Quite true. She has always been told she is the clever woman of the family, and what can she do but accept the position?”
“Exactly,” said Ermine; “every one has given way to her, and, of course, she walks over their bodies, but there is something so noble about her that I cannot but believe that she will one day shake herself clear of her little absurdities.”
“That is contrary to the usual destiny of strong-minded women,” said Bessie.
“She is not a strong-minded woman, she only has been made to believe herself one,” said Ermine, warmly.
With this last encounter, Bessie and her brother took leave, and the last at once exclaimed, in sentimental tones, “Generous rivals! I never saw so good a comedy in all my days! To disclose the fatal truth, and then bring the rival fair ones face to face!”
“If that were your belief, Bessie, the demon of teasing has fuller possession of you than I knew.”
“Ah! I forgot,” exclaimed Bessie, “it is tender ground with you likewise. Alas! Alick, sisterly affection cannot blind me to the fact of that unrequited admiration for your honourable rival.”
“What, from the strong-minded Curtia?”
“Ah! but have we not just heard that this is not the genuine article, only a country-made imitation? No wonder it was not proof against an honourable colonel in a brown beard.”
“So much the better; only unluckily there has been a marked avoidance of him.”
“Yes; the Colonel was sacrificed with all other trivial incidents at the shrine of the F. U. L. E.—E. E., I mean. And only think of finding out that one has been sacrificing empty air after all—and to empty air!”
“Better than to sacrifice everything to oneself,” said Alick.
“Not at all. The latter practice is the only way to be agreeable! By-the-bye, Alick, I wonder if she will deign to come to the ball?”
“What ball?”
“Your ball at Avoncester. It is what I am staying on for! Major McDonald all but promised me one; and you know you must give one before you leave this place.”
“Don’t you know that poor Fraser has just been sent for home on his sister’s death?”
“But I conclude the whole regiment does not go into mourning?”
“No, but Fraser is the one fellow to whom this would be real enjoyment. Indeed, I particularly wish no hints may be given about it. Don’t deny, I know you have ways of bringing about what you wish, and I will not have them used here. I know something of the kind must be done before we leave Avoncester, but to give one this autumn would be much sooner than needful. I believe there is hardly an officer but myself and Fraser to whom the expense would not be a serious consideration, and when I tell you my father had strong opinions about overdoing reciprocities of gaiety, and drawing heavily on the officers’ purses for them, I do not think you will allow their regard for him to take that manifestation towards you.”
“Of course not,” said Bessie, warmly; “I will not think of it again. Only when the fate does overtake you, you will have me here for it, Alick?”
He readily promised, feeling gratified at the effect of having spoken to his sister with full recognition of her good sense.
Meantime Rachel was feeling something of what Bessie ascribed to her, as if her sacrifice had been snatched away, and a cloud placed in its stead. Mortification was certainly present, and a pained feeling of having been made a fool of, whether by the Colonel or herself, her candid mind could hardly decide; but she was afraid it was by herself. She knew she had never felt sure enough of his attentions to do more than speculate on what she would do if they should become more pointed, and yet she felt angry and sore at having been exposed to so absurd a blunder by the silence of the parties concerned. “After all,” she said to herself, “there can be no great harm done, I have not been weak enough to commit my heart to the error. I am unscathed, and I will show it by sympathy for Ermine. Only—only, why could not she have told me?”
An ordeal was coming for which Rachel was thus in some degree prepared. On the return of the party from the book club, Mrs. Curtis came into Rachel’s sitting-room, and hung lingering over the fire as if she had something to say, but did not know how to begin. At last, however, she said, “I do really think it is very unfair, but it was not his fault, he says.”
“Who?” said Rachel, dreamily.
“Why, Colonel Keith, my dear,” said good Mrs. Curtis, conceiving that her pronominal speech had “broken” her intelligence; “it seems we were mistaken in him all this time.”
“What, about Miss Williams?” said Rachel, perceiving how the land lay; “how did you hear it?”
“You knew it, my dear child,” cried her mother in accents of extreme relief.
“Only this afternoon, from Bessie Keith.”
“And Fanny knew it all this time,” continued Mrs. Curtis. “I cannot imagine how she could keep it from me, but it seems Miss Williams was resolved it should not be known. Colonel Keith said he felt it was wrong to go on longer without mentioning it, and I could not but say that it would have been a great relief to have known it earlier.”
“As far as Fanny was concerned it would,” said Rachel, looking into the fire, but not without a sense of rehabilitating satisfaction, as the wistful looks and tone of her mother convinced her that this semi-delusion had not been confined to herself.
“I could not help being extremely sorry for him when he was telling me,” continued Mrs. Curtis, as much resolved against uttering the idea as Rachel herself could be. “It has been such a very long attachment, and now he says he has not yet been able to overcome her scruples about accepting him in her state. It is quite right of her, I can’t say but it is, but it is a very awkward situation.”
“I do not see that,” said Rachel, feeling the need of decision in order to reassure her mother; “it is very sad and distressing in some ways, but no one can look at Miss Williams without seeing that his return has done her a great deal of good; and whether they marry or not, one can only be full of admiration and respect for them.”
“Yes, yes,” faltered Mrs. Curtis; “only I must say I think it was due to us to have mentioned it sooner.”
“Not at all, mother. Fanny knew it, and it was nobody’s concern but hers. Pray am I to have Owen’s ‘Palaeontology’?”
“No, Colonel Keith bought that, and some more of the solid books. My dear, he is going to settle here; he tells me he has actually bought that house he and his brother are in.”
“Bought it!”
“Yes; he says, any way, his object is to be near Miss Williams. Well, I cannot think how it is to end, so near the title as he is, and her sister a governess, and then that dreadful business about her brother, and the little girl upon her hands. Dear me, I wish Fanny had any one else for a governess.”
“So do not I,” said Rachel. “I have the greatest possible admiration for Ermine Williams, and I do not know which I esteem most, her for her brave, cheerful, unrepining unselfishness, or him for his constancy and superiority to all those trumpery considerations. I am glad to have the watching of them. I honour them both.”
Yes, and Rachel honoured herself still more for being able to speak all this freely and truly out of the innermost depths of her candid heart.
“Yes, I go the week after next.”
“So soon? I thought you were to stay for our ball.”
“Till this time next year! No, no, I can’t quite do that, thank you.”
“This very winter.”
“Oh, no—no such thing! Why, half the beauty and fashion of the neighbourhood is not come into winter quarters yet. Besides, the very essence of a military ball is that it should be a parting—the brightest and the last. Good morning.”
And Meg’s head, nothing loth, was turned away from the wide view of the broad vale of the Avon, with the Avoncester Cathedral towers in the midst, and the moors rising beyond in purple distance. The two young lieutenants could only wave their farewells, as Bessie cantered merrily over the soft smooth turf of the racecourse, in company with Lord Keith, the Colonel, and Conrade.
“Do you not like dancing?” inquired Lord Keith, when the canter was over, and they were splashing through a lane with high hedges.
“I’m not so unnatural,” returned Bessie, with a merry smile, “but it would never do to let the Highlanders give one now. Alick has been telling me that the expense would fall seriously on a good many of them.”
“True,” said Colonel Keith, “too many fetes come to be a heavy tax.”
“That is more consideration than is common in so young a lad,” added Lord Keith.
“Yes, but dear Alick is so full of consideration,” said the sister, eagerly. “He does not get half the credit for it that he deserves, because, you know, he is so quiet and reserved, and has that unlucky ironical way with him that people don’t like; especially rattlepates like those,” pointing with her whip in the direction of the two young officers.
“It is a pity,” said the Colonel, “it lessens his influence. And it is strange I never perceived it before his return to England.”
“Oh! there’s much owing to the habitual languor of that long illness. That satirical mumble is the only trouble he will take to lift up his testimony, except when a thing is most decidedly his duty, and then he does it as England expects.”
“And he considered it his duty to make you decline this ball?” said Lord Keith.
“Oh, not his more than mine,” said Bessie. “I don’t forget that I am the Colonel’s daughter.”
No more was said on that occasion, but three days after cards were going about the county with invitations from Lord Keith to an evening party, with “Dancing.” Lord Keith averred, with the full concurrence of his brother, that he owed many civilities to the ladies of the neighbourhood, and it was a good time to return them when he could gratify the young kinswoman who had showed such generous forbearance about the regimental ball. It was no unfavourable moment either, when he had his brother to help him, for the ordering of balls had been so much a part of Colin’s staff duties, that it came quite naturally to him, especially with Coombe within reach to assist. There was some question whether the place should be the public rooms or Gowanbrae, but Bessie’s vote decided on the latter, in consideration of the Colonel’s chest. She was rather shocked, while very grateful, at the consequences of the little conversation on the hill top, but she threw herself into all the counsels with bright, ardent pleasure, though carefully refraining from any presumption that she was queen of the evening.
Lady Temple received an invitation, but never for one moment thought of going, or even supposed that any one could imagine she could. Indeed, if she had accepted it, it would have been a decisive encouragement to her ancient suitor, and Colin saw that he regarded her refusal, in its broad black edges, as a further clenching of the reply to his addresses.
Bessie was to be chaperoned by Mrs. Curtis. As to Rachel, she had resolved against youthful gaieties for this winter and all others, but she felt that to show any reluctance to accept the Keith invitation might be a contradiction to her indifference to the Colonel, and so construed by her mother, Grace, and Bessie. So all she held out for was, that as she had no money to spend upon adornments, her blue silk dinner dress, and her birthday wreath, should and must do duty; and as to her mother’s giving her finery, she was far too impressive and decided for Mrs. Curtis to venture upon such presumption. She was willing to walk through her part for an evening, and indeed the county was pretty well accustomed to Miss Rachel Curtis’s ball-room ways, and took them as a matter of course.
Gowanbrae had two drawing-rooms with folding doors between, quite practicable for dancing, and the further one ending in a conservatory, that likewise extended along the end of the entrance hall and dining-room. The small library, where Colonel Keith usually sat, became the cloak-room, and contained, when Mrs. Curtis and her daughters arrived, so large a number of bright cashmere cloaklets, scarlet, white, and blue, that they began to sigh prospectively at the crowd which, Mrs. Curtis would have encountered with such joyful valour save for that confidence on the way home from the book club.
They were little prepared for the resources of a practised staff-officer. Never had a ball even to them looked so well arranged, or in such thorough style, as a little dexterous arrangement of flowers, lights, and sofas, and rendered those two rooms. The two hosts worked extremely well. Lord Keith had shaken off much of his careless stoop and air of age, and there was something in his old-world polish and his Scotch accent that gave a sort of romance to the manner of his reception. His brother, with his fine brow, and thoughtful eyes, certainly appeared to Rachel rather thrown away as master of the ceremonies, but whatever he did, he always did in the quietest and best way, and receptions had been a part of his vocation, so that he infused a wonderful sense of ease, and supplied a certain oil of good breeding that made everything move suavely. Young ladies in white, and mothers in all the colours of the rainbow, were there in plenty, and, by Bessie’s special command, the scene was enlivened by the Highland uniform, with the graceful tartan scarf fastened across the shoulder with the Bruce brooch.
Rachel had not been long in the room before she was seized on by Emily Grey, an enthusiastic young lady of the St. Norbert’s neighbourhood, whom she met seldom, but was supposed to know intimately.
“And they say you have the hero here—the Victoria Cross man—and that you know him. You must show him to me, and get me introduced.”
“There is no Victoria Cross man here,” said Rachel, coldly. “Colonel Keith did not have one.”
“Oh, no, I don’t mean Colonel Keith, but Captain Alexander Keith, quite a young man. Oh, I am sure you remember the story—you were quite wild about it—of his carrying the lighted shell out of the hospital tent; and they told me he was always over here, and his sister staying with Lady Temple.”
“I know Captain Alexander Keith,” said Rachel, slowly; “but you must be mistaken, I am certain I should know if he had a Victoria Cross.”
“It is very odd; Charlie told me it was the same,” said Miss Grey, who, like all others, was forced to bend to Rachel’s decisive manner.
“Scottish names are very common,” said Rachel, and at that moment a partner came and carried Emily off.
But as Rachel stood still, an odd misgiving seized her, a certain doubt whether upon the tall lazy figure that was leaning against a wall nearly opposite to her, talking to another officer, she did not see something suspiciously bronze and eight-pointed that all did not wear. There was clearly a medal, though with fewer clasps than some owned; but what else was there? She thought of the lecture on heroism she had given to him, and felt hot all over. Behold, he was skirting the line of chaperons, and making his way towards their party. The thing grew more visible, and she felt more disconcerted than ever had been her lot before; but escape there was none, here he was shaking hands.
“You don’t polk?” he said to her. “In fact, you regard all this as a delusion of weak minds. Then, will you come and have some tea?”
Rachel took his arm, still bewildered, and when standing before him with the tea-cup in her hand, she interrupted something he was saying, she knew not what, with, “That is not the Victoria Cross?”
“Then it is, like all the rest, a delusion,” he answered, in his usual impassive manner.
“And gained,” she continued, “by saving the lives of all those officers, the very thing I told you about!”
“You told me that man was killed.”
“Then it was not you!”
“Perhaps they picked up the pieces of the wrong one.”
“But if you would only tell me how you gained it.”
“By the pursuit of conchology.”
“Then it was yourself?” again said Rachel, in her confusion.
“If I be I as I suppose I be,” he replied, giving her his arm again, and as they turned towards the conservatory, adding, “Many such things have happened, and I did not know whether you meant this.”
“That was the reason you made so light of it.”
“What, because I thought it was somebody else?”
“No, the contrary reason; but I cannot understand why you let me go on without telling me.”
“I never interfere when a story is so perfect in itself.”
“But is my story perfect in itself?” said Rachel, “or is it the contrary?”
“No one knows less of the particulars than I do,” he answered. “I think your version was that it was an hospital tent that the shell came into. It was not that, but a bungalow, which was supposed to be out of range. It stood on a bit of a slope, and I thought I should have been able to kick the shell down before it had time to do mischief.”
“But you picked it up, and took it to the door—I mean, did you?” said Rachel, who was beginning to discover that she must ask Alick Keith a direct question, if she wished to get an answer, and she received a gesture of assent.
“I was very blind,” she said, humbly, “and now I have gone and insisted to poor Emily Grey that you never did any such thing.”
“Thank you,” he said; “it was the greatest kindness you could do me.”
“Ah! your sister said you had the greatest dislike to hero worship.”
“A natural sense of humbug,” he said. “I don’t know why they gave me this,” he added, touching his cross, “unless it was that one of the party in the bungalow had a turn for glorifying whatever happened to himself. Plenty of more really gallant things happened every day, and were never heard of, and I, who absolutely saw next to nothing of the campaign, have little right to be decorated.”
“Ah!” said Rachel, thoughtfully, “I have always wondered whether one would be happier for having accomplished an act of heroism.”
“I do not know,” said Alick, thoughtfully; then, as Rachel looked up with a smile of amazement, “Oh, you mean this; but it was mere self-preservation. I could hardly even have bolted, for I was laid up with fever, and was very shaky on my legs.”
“I suppose, however,” said Rachel, “that the vision of one’s life in entering the army would be to win that sort of distinction, and so young.”
“Win it as some have done,” said Alick, “and deserve what is far better worth than distinction. That may be the dream, but, after all, it is the discipline and constant duty that make the soldier, and are far more really valuable than exceptional doings.”
“People must always be ready for them, though,” said Rachel
“And they are,” said Alick, with grave exultation in his tone.
Then, after a pause, she led back the conversation to its personal character, by saying. “Do you mean that the reception of this cross was no gratification to you?”
“No, I am not so absurd,” he replied, but he added sadly, “That was damped quite otherwise. The news that I was named for it came almost in the same breath with that of my father’s death, and he had not heard I was to receive it.”
“Ah! I can understand.”
“And you can see how intolerable was the fuss my good relations made with me just when the loss was fresh on me, and with that of my two chief friends, among my brother officers, fellows beside whom I was nobody, and there was my uncle’s blindness getting confirmed. Was not that enough to sicken one with being stuck up for a lion, and constantly poked up by the showwoman, under pretext of keeping up one’s spirits!”
“And you were—I mean were you—too ill to escape?”
“I was less able to help myself than Miss Williams is. There had been a general smash of all the locomotive machinery on this side, and the wretched monster could do nothing but growl at his visitors.”
“Should you growl very much if I introduced you to Emily Grey? You see it is a matter of justice and truth to tell her now, after having contradicted her so flatly. I will wait to let you get out of the way first if you like, but I think that would be unkind to her; and if you ever do dance, I wish you would dance with her.”
“With all my heart,” he answered.
“Oh, thank you,” said Rachel, warmly.
He observed with some amusement Rachel’s utter absence of small dexterities, and of even the effort to avoid the humiliation of a confession of her error. Miss Grey and a boy partner had wandered into the conservatory, and were rather dismally trying to seem occupied with the camellias when Rachel made her way to them, and though he could not actually hear the words, he knew pretty well what they were. “Emily, you were right after all, and I was mistaken,” and then as he drew near, “Miss Grey, Captain Keith wishes to be introduced to you.”
It had been a great shock to Rachel’s infallibility, and as she slowly began working her way in search of her mother, after observing the felicity of Emily’s bright eyes, she fell into a musing on the advantages of early youth in its indiscriminating powers of enthusiasm for anything distinguished for anything, and that sense of self-exaltation in any sort of contact with a person who had been publicly spoken of. “There is genuine heroism in him,” thought Rachel, “but it is just in what Emily would never appreciate—it is in the feeling that he could not help doing as he did; the half-grudging his reward to himself because other deeds have passed unspoken. I wonder whether his ironical humour would allow him to see that Mr. Mauleverer is as veritable a hero in yielding hopes of consideration, prospects, honours, to his sense of truth and uprightness. If he would only look with an unprejudiced eye, I know he would be candid.”
“Are you looking for Mrs. Curtis?” said Colonel Keith. “I think she is in the other room.”
“Not particularly, thank you,” said Rachel, and she was surprised to find how glad she was to look up freely at him.
“Would it be contrary to your principles or practice to dance with me?”
“To my practice,” she said smilingly, “so let us find my mother. Is Miss Alison Williams here? I never heard whether it was settled that she should come,” she added, resolved both to show him her knowledge of his situation, and to let her mother see her at her ease with him.
“No, she was obstinate, though her sister and I did our utmost to persuade her, and the boys were crazy to make her go.”
“I can’t understand your wishing it.”
“Not as an experience of life? Alison never went to anything in her girlhood, but devoted herself solely to her sister, and it would be pleasant to see her begin her youth.”
“Not as a mere young lady!” exclaimed Rachel.
“That is happily not possible.”
An answer that somewhat puzzled Rachel, whose regard for him was likely to be a good deal dependent upon his contentment with Alison’s station in life.
“I must say young ladyhood looks to the greatest advantage there,” Rachel could not help exclaiming, as at that moment Elizabeth Keith smiled at them, as she floated past, her airy white draperies looped with scarlet ribbons; her dark hair turned back and fastened by a snood of the same, an eagle’s feather clasped in it by a large emerald, a memory of her father’s last siege—that of Lucknow.
“She is a very pretty creature,” said the Colonel, under the sparkle of her bright eyes.
“I never saw any one make the pursuits of young ladyhood have so much spirit and meaning,” added Rachel. “Here you see she has managed to make herself sufficiently like other people, yet full of individual character and meaning.”
“That is the theory of dress, I suppose,” said the Colonel.
“If one chooses to cultivate it.”
“Did you ever see Lady Temple in full dress?”
“No; we were not out when we parted as girls.”
“Then you have had a loss. I think it was at our last Melbourne ball, that when she went to the nursery to wish the children good night, one of them—Hubert, I believe—told her to wear that dress when she went to heaven, and dear old Sir Stephen was so delighted that he went straight upstairs to kiss the boy for it.”
“Was that Lady Temple?” said Alick Keith, who having found Miss Grey engaged many deep, joined them again, and at his words came back a thrill of Rachel’s old fear and doubt as to the possible future.
“Yes,” said the Colonel; “I was recollecting the gracious vision she used to be at all our chief’s parties.”
“Vision, you call her, who lived in the house with her? What do you think she was to us—poor wretches—coming up from barracks where Mrs. O’Shaughnessy was our cynosure? There was not one of us to whom she was not Queen of the East, and more, with that innocent, soft, helpless dignity of hers!”
“And Sir Stephen for the first of her vassals,” said the Colonel.
“What a change it has been!” said Alick.
“Yes; but a change that has shown her to have been unspoilable. We were just agreeing on the ball-room perfections of her and your sister in their several lines.”
“Very different lines,” said Alick, smiling.
“I can’t judge of Fanny’s,” said Rachel, “but your sister is almost enough to make one believe there can be some soul in young lady life.”
“I did not bring Bessie here to convert you,” was the somewhat perplexing answer.
“Nor has she,” said Rachel, “except so far as I see that she can follow ordinary girls’ pursuits without being frivolous in them.” Alick bowed at the compliment.
“And she has been a sunbeam,” added Rachel, “we shall all feel graver and cloudier without her.”
“Yes,” said Colonel Keith, “and I am glad Mr. Clare has such a sunbeam for his parsonage. What a blessing she will be there!” he added, as he watched Bessie’s graceful way of explaining to his brother some little matter in behalf of the shy mother of a shy girl. Thinking he might be wanted, Colonel Keith went forward to assist, and Rachel continued, “I do envy that power of saying the right thing to everybody!”
“Don’t—it is the greatest snare,” was his answer, much amazing her, for she had her mind full of the two direct personal blunders she had made towards him.
“It prevents many difficulties and embarrassments.”
“Very desirable things.”
“Yes; for those that like to laugh, but not for those that are laughed at,” said Rachel.
“More so; the worst of all misfortunes is to wriggle too smoothly through life.”
This was to Rachel the most remarkable part of the evening; as to the rest, it was like all other balls, a weariness: Grace enjoying herself and her universal popularity, always either talking or dancing, and her mother comfortable and dutiful among other mothers; the brilliant figure and ready grace of Bessie Keith being the one vision that perpetually flitted in her dreams, and the one ever-recurring recollection that Captain Keith, the veritable hero of the shell, had been lectured by her on his own deed! In effect Rachel had never felt so beaten down and ashamed of herself; so doubtful of her own most positive convictions, and yet not utterly dissatisfied, and the worst of it was that Emily Grey was after all carried off without dancing with the hero; and Rachel felt as if her own opinionativeness had defrauded the poor girl.
Other balls sent her home in a state of weariness, disgust, and contempt towards every one, but this one had resulted in displeasure with herself, yet in much interest and excitement; and, oh, passing strange! through that same frivolous military society.
Indeed the military society was soon in better odour with her than the clerical. She had been making strenuous efforts to get to St. Herbert’s, with Mr. Mitchell, for some time past, but the road was in a state of being repaired, and the coachman was determined against taking his horses there. As to going by train, that was equally impossible, since he would still less have driven her to the station, finally, Rachel took the resolute stop of borrowing Fanny’s pony carriage, and driving herself and the clergyman to the station, where she was met by Mrs. Morris, the mother of one of the girls, to whom she had promised such a visit, as it had been agreed that it would be wisest not to unsettle the scholars by Christmas holidays.
The F. U. E. E. was in perfect order; the little girls sat upon a bench with their copies before them, Mrs. Rawlins in the whitest of caps presided over them, and Mr. Mauleverer was very urbane, conducting the visitors over the house himself, and expatiating on his views of cleanliness, ventilation, refinement, and equality of cultivation, while Mrs. Rawlins remained to entertain Mrs. Morris. Nothing could be more practical and satisfactory; some admirable drawings of the children’s were exhibited, and their conduct was said to be excellent; except, Mr. Mauleverer remarked unwillingly, that there was a tendency about little Mary to fancy herself injured, and he feared that she was not always truthful; but these were childish faults, that he hoped would pass away with further refinement, and removal from the lower influences of her home.
After this, Rachel was not surprised that poor, ignorant, and always deplorable Mrs. Morris did not seem in raptures with the state of her child, but more inclined to lament not having seen more of her, and not having her at home. That was quite in accordance with peasant shortsightedness and ingratitude, but it was much more disappointing that Mr. Mitchell said little or nothing of approbation; asked her a few questions about her previous knowledge of Mr. Mauleverer and Mrs. Rawlins, and when she began to talk of arranging for some one or two of his London orphans, thanked her rather shortly, but said there was no way of managing it. It was evident that he was quite as prejudiced as others of his clerical brethren, and the more Rachel read of current literature, the more she became convinced of their bondage to views into which they durst not examine, for fear honesty should compel them to assert their conclusions.
She had hoped better things from the stranger, but she began to be persuaded that all her former concessions to the principles infused in her early days were vain entanglements, and that it was merely weakness and unwillingness to pain her mother that prevented her from breaking through them.
She could not talk this out with anybody, except now and then an utterance to the consenting Mr. Mauleverer, but in general she would have been shocked to put these surging thoughts into words, and Bessie was her only intimate who would avow that there could be anything to be found fault with in a clergyman. When alone together, Bessie would sometimes regretfully, sometimes in a tone of amusement, go over bits of narrow-minded folly that had struck her in the clergy, and more especially in her uncle’s curate, Mr. Lifford, whose dryness was, she owned, very repulsive to her.
“He is a good creature,” she said, “and most necessary to my uncle, but how he and I are to get through life together, I cannot tell. It must soon be tried, though! After my visit at Bath will come my home at Bishopsworthy!” And then she confided to Rachel all the parish ways, and took counsel on the means of usefulness that would not clash with the curate and pain her uncle. She even talked of a possible orphan for the F. U. E. E., only that unlucky prejudice against Mr. Mauleverer was sure to stand in the way.
So acceptable had Bessie Keith made herself everywhere, that all Avonmouth was grieved at her engagement to spend the winter at Bath with her married cousin, to whom she was imperatively necessary in the getting up of a musical party.
“And I must go some time or other,” she said to Colonel Keith, “so it had better be when you are all here to make Myrtlewood cheerful, and I can be of most use to poor Jane! I do think dear Lady Temple is much more full of life and brightness now!”
Everybody seemed to consider Bessie’s departure as their own personal loss: the boys were in despair for their playfellow, Ermine would miss those sunny visits; Colonel Keith many a pleasant discussion, replete with delicate compliments to Ermine, veiled by tact; and Lord Keith the pretty young clanswoman who had kept up a graceful little coquetry with him, and even to the last evening, went on walking on the esplanade with him in the sunset, so as to set his brother free to avoid the evening chill.
And, above all, Lady Temple regretted the loss of the cheery companion of her evenings. True, Bessie had lately had a good many small evening gaieties, but she always came back from them so fresh and bright, and so full of entertaining description and anecdote, that Fanny felt as if she had been there herself, and, said Bessie, “it was much better for her than staying at home with her, and bringing in no novelty.”
“Pray come to me again, dearest! Your stay has been the greatest treat. It is very kind in you to be so good to me.”
“It is you who are good to me, dearest Lady Temple.”
“I am afraid I shall hardly get you again. Your poor uncle will never be able to part with you, so I won’t ask you to promise, but if ever you can—”
“If ever I can! This has been a very happy time, dear Lady Temple,” a confidence seemed trembling on her lips, but she suppressed it. “I shall always think of you as the kindest friend a motherless girl ever had! I will write to you from Bath. Good-bye—”
And there were all the boys in a row, little affectionate Hubert absolutely tearful, and Conrade holding up a bouquet, on which he had spent all his money, having persuaded Coombe to ride with him to the nursery garden at Avoncester to procure it. He looked absolutely shy and blushing, when Bessie kissed him and promised to dry the leaves and keep them for ever.