The Project Gutenberg eBook of The Deipnosophists or Banquet of the Learned of Athenæus, by C. D. Yonge.

Fly ye to Greece along the sea's wide back,
Pupils of Aristarchus, all more timid
Than the pale antelope, worms hid in holes,
Monosyllabic animals, who care
For σφὶν and σφῶιν, and for μὶν, and νὶν,
This shall be your lot, grumblers—but let Greece
And sacred Babylon receive Herodicus.

'Tis sweet when one has plann'd a new device,
To tell it to the world. For those who are
Wise for themselves alone have, first of all,
No judge to criticise their new invention.
And envy is their portion too: for all
That seems to be commended by its novelty,
Should be imparted freely to the people.

And when this conversation had terminated, most of the guests took their departure secretly, and so broke up the party.

FOOTNOTES:

[301:1] The reading is—

Ζηνός που τοιαῦτα δόμοις ἐν κτήματα κεῖται

for which Aristarchus wished to read—

Ζηνός που τοίηδέ γ' Ὀλυμπίου ἔνδοθεν αὐλή.

I have given here, as elsewhere, Pope's version in the translation.

[323:1] There is a great dispute among the commentators as to the exact reading of this passage, or its meaning. Palmer says the crowns were given by different cities and tribes; and that what the king, and queen, and prince wore were not the crowns themselves, but a model of them in papyrus, with an inscription on each, stating its weight, and what city had given it.

[342:1] The Greek here is ἐξ ἱματίου τύραννος ἦν, the meaning of which is very much disputed. Casaubon thinks it means that there was a great resemblance between the priestly and royal robes. Schweighauser thinks it means, after having worn the robe of a philosopher he became a tyrant.

BOOK VI.

1. Since you ask me every time that you meet me, my friend Timocrates, what was said by the Deipnosophists, thinking that we are making some discoveries, we will remind you of what is said by Antiphanes, in his Poesy, in this manner—

In every way, my friends, is Tragedy
A happy poem. For the argument
Is, in the first place, known to the spectators,
Before one single actor says a word.
So that the poet need do little more
Than just remind his hearers what they know.
For should I speak of Œdipus, at once
They recollect his story—how his father
Was Laius, and Jocasta too his mother;
What were his sons', and what his daughters' names,
And what he did and suffer'd. So again
If a man names Alcmæon, the very children
Can tell you how he in his madness slew
His mother; and Adrastus furious,
Will come in haste, and then depart again;
And then at last, when they can say no more,
And when the subject is almost exhausted,
They lift an engine easily as a finger,
And that is quite enough to please the theatre.
But our case is harder. We are forced
T' invent the whole of what we write; new names,
Things done before, done now, new plots, new openings,
And new catastrophes. And if we fail in aught,
Some Chremes or some Phido hisses us.
While Peleus is constraint by no such laws,
Nor Teucer.

O thou who rulest, patroness and queen,
Over this holy spot of sacred Brauron,
Bow-bearing daughter of Latona and Jove,
As the tragedians call you; who alone
Have power to do and say whate'er they please.

2. But Timocles the comic writer, asserting that tragedy is [354]useful in many respects to human life, says in his Women celebrating the Festival of Bacchus—

My friend, just hear what I'm about to say.
Man is an animal by nature miserable;
And life has many grievous things in it.
Therefore he has invented these reliefs
To ease his cares; for oft the mind forgets
Its own discomforts while it soothes itself
In contemplation of another's woes,
And e'en derives some pleasure and instruction.
For first, I'd have you notice the tragedians;
What good they do to every one. The poor man
Sees Telephus was poorer still than he,
And bears his own distress more easily.
The madman thinks upon Alcmæon's case.
Has a man weak sore eyes? The sons of Phineus
Are blind as bats. Has a man lost his child?
Let him remember childless Niobe.
He's hurt his leg; and so had Philoctetes.
Is he unfortunate in his old age?
Œneus was more so. So that every one,
Seeing that others have been more unfortunate,
Learns his own griefs to hear with more content.

3. And we accordingly, O Timocrates, will restore to you the relics of the feast of the Deipnosophists, and will not give them, as Cothocides the orator said, meaning to ridicule Demosthenes, who, when Philip gave Halonnesus to the Athenians, advised them "not to take it if he gave it, but only if he restored it." And this sentence Antiphanes jested upon in his Neottis, where he ridicules it in this manner—

My master has received (ἀπέλαβεν) as he took (ἔλαβεν)
His patrimonial inheritance.
How would these words have pleased Demosthenes!

A. For did I give them anything? Tell me that.

B. No, you restored it, holding a deposit.

According, therefore, to the above-mentioned poets, so we, restoring but not giving to you what followed after the previous conversation, will now tell you all that was said afterwards.

4. Then came into us these servants, bringing a great quantity of sea fish and lake fish on silver platters, so that we marvelled at the wealth displayed, and at the costliness of the entertainment, which was such that he seemed almost to have engaged the Nereids themselves as the purveyors. And one of the parasites and flatterers said that Neptune was sending fish to our Neptunian port, not by the agency of those who at Rome sell rare fish for their weight in money; but that some were imported from Antium, and some from Terracina, and some from the Pontian islands opposite, and some from Pyrgi; and that is a city of Etruria. For the fishmongers in Rome are very little different from those who used to be turned into ridicule by the comic poets at Athens, of whom Antiphanes says, in his Young Men—

I did indeed for a long time believe
The Gorgons an invention of the poets,
But when I came into the fish-market
I quickly found them a reality.
For looking at the fishwomen I felt
Turn'd instantly to stone, and was compell'd
To turn away my head while talking to them.
For when I see how high a price they ask,
And for what little fish, I'm motionless.

'Tis easier to get access to the general,
And one is met by language far more courteous,
And by more civil answer from his grace,
Than from those cursed fishfags in the market.
For when one asks them anything, or offers
To buy aught of them, mute they stand like Telephus,
And just as stubborn; ('tis an apt comparison,
For in a word they all are homicides;)
And neither listen nor appear to heed,
But shake a dirty polypus in your face;
Or else turn sulky, and scarce say a word,
But as if half a syllable were enough,
Say "se'n s'lings this," "this turb't eight'n-pence."
This is the treatment which a man must bear
Who seeks to buy a dinner in the fish-market.

When I behold a general looking stern,
I think him wrong, but do not greatly wonder,
That one in high command should think himself
Above the common herd. But when I see
The fishmongers, of all tribes far the worst,
Bending their sulky eyes down to the ground,
And lifting up their eyebrows to their foreheads,
I am disgusted. And if you should ask,
"Tell me, I pray you, what's this pair of mullets?"
"Tenpence." "Oh, that's too much; you'll eightpence take?"
"Yes, if you'll be content with half the pair."
"Come, eightpence; that is plenty." "I will not
Take half a farthing less: don't waste my time."
Is it not bitter to endure such insolence?

I used to think the race of fishmongers
Was only insolent in Attica;
But now I see that like wild beasts they are
Savage by nature, everywhere the same.
But here is one who goes beyond his fellows,
Nourishing flowing hair, which he doth call
Devoted to his god—though that is not the reason,
But he doth use it as a veil to hide
The brand which marks his forehead. Should you ask him,
What is this pike's price? he will tell you "tenpence;"
Not say what pence he means; then if you give him
The money, he will claim Ægina's coinage;
While if you ask for change, he'll give you Attic.
And thus he makes a profit on both sides.

[357] Poets are nonsense; for they never say
A single thing that's new. But all they do
Is to clothe old ideas in language new,
Turning the same things o'er and o'er again,
And upside down. But as to fishmongers,
They're an inventive race, and yield to none
In shameless conduct. For as modern laws
Forbid them now to water their stale fish,
Some fellow, hated by the gods, beholding
His fish quite dry, picks with his mates a quarrel,
And blows are interchanged. Then when one thinks
He's had enough, he falls, and seems to faint,
And lies like any corpse among his baskets.
Some one calls out for water; and his partner
Catches a pail, and throws it o'er his friend
So as to sprinkle all his fish, and make
The world believe them newly caught and fresh.

7. And that they often do sell fish which is dead and stinking is proved by what Antiphanes says in his Adulterers, as follows—

There's not on earth a more unlucky beast
Than a poor fish, for whom 'tis not enough
To die when caught, that they may find at once
A grave in human stomachs; but what's worse,
They fall into the hands of odious fishmongers,
And rot and lie upon their stalls for days;
And if they meet with some blind purchaser,
He scarce can carry them when dead away;
But throws them out of doors, and thinks that he
Has through his nose had taste enough of them.

Is it not quite a shame, that if a man
Has fresh-caught fish to sell, he will not speak
To any customer without a frown
Upon his face, and language insolent?
And if his fish are stale, he jokes and laughs—
While his behaviour should the contrary be:
The first might laugh, the latter should be shamed.

And that they sell their fish very dear we are told by Alexis in his Pylæan Women—

Yes, by Minerva, I do marvel at
The tribe of fishmongers, that they are not
All wealthy men, such royal gains they make.
For sitting in the market they do think it
A trifling thing to tithe our properties;
But would take all at one fell swoop away.

[358] There never was a better lawgiver
Than rich Aristonicus. For he now
Does make this law, that any fishmonger
Who puts a price upon his fish, and then
Sells it for less, shall be at once dragg'd off
And put in prison; that by their example
The rest may learn to ask a moderate price,
And be content with that, and carry home
Their rotten fish each evening; and then
Old men, old women, boys, and all their customers,
Will buy whatever suits them at fair price.

There never has, since Solon's time, been seen
A better lawgiver than Aristonicus.
For he has given many different laws,
And now he introduces this new statute,
A golden statute, that no fishmonger
Should sell his fish while sitting, but that all
Shall stand all day i' the market. And he says
Next year he will enact that they shall sell
Being hung up; for so they will let off
Their customers more easily, when they
Are raised by a machine like gods in a play.

9. And Antiphanes, in his Hater of Wickedness, displays their rudeness and dishonesty, comparing them to the greatest criminals who exist among men, speaking as follows—

Are not the Scythians of men the wisest?
Who when their children are first born do give them
The milk of mares and cows to drink at once,
And do not trust them to dishonest nurses,
Or tutors, who of evils are the worst,
Except the midwives only. For that class
Is worst of all, and next to them do come
The begging priests of mighty Cybele;
And it is hard to find a baser lot—
Unless indeed you speak of fishmongers,
But they are worse than even money-changers,
And are in fact the worst of all mankind.

10. And it was not without some wit that Diphilus, in his Merchant, speaks in this manner of fish being sold at an exorbitant price—

I never heard of dearer fish at any time.
Oh, Neptune, if you only got a tenth
Of all that money, you would be by far
The richest of the gods! And yet if he,
The fishmonger I mean, had been but civil,
I would have given him his price, though grumbling;
And, just as Priam ransom'd Hector, I
Would have put down his weight to buy the conger.

Living and dead, the monsters of the deep
Are hostile to us always. If our ship
Be overturn'd, they then at once devour
Whatever of the crew they catch while swimming:
And if they're caught themselves by fishermen,
When dead they half undo their purchasers;
For with our whole estate they must be bought,
And the sad purchaser comes off a beggar.

And Archippus, in his play called the Fish, mentions one fishmonger by name, Hermæus the Egyptian, saying—

The cursedest of all fish-dealers is
Hermæus the Egyptian; who skins
And disembowels all the vilest fish,
And sells them for the choicest, as I hear.

11. And perhaps it is natural for fishermen to be proud of their skill, even to a greater degree than the most skilful generals. Accordingly, Anaxandrides, in his Ulysses, introduces one of them, speaking in this way of the fisherman's art—

The beauteous handiwork of portrait painters
When in a picture seen is much admired;
But the fair fruit of our best skill is seen
In a rich dish just taken from the frying-pan.
For by what other art, my friend, do we
See young men's appetites so much inflamed?
What causes such outstretching of the hands?
What is so apt to choke one, if a man
Can hardly swallow it? Does not the fish-market
Alone give zest to banquets? Who can spread
A dinner without fried fish, or anchovies,
Or high-priced mullet? With what words or charms
Can a well-favour'd youth be caught, if once
The fisherman's assistance be denied?
His art subdues him, bringing to the fish-kettle
The heads of well-boil'd fish; this leads him on
To doors which guard th' approach to a good dinner,
And bids him haste, though nought himself contributing.

12. And Alexis says this with reference to those who are too anxious as to buying their fish, in his Rich Heiress—

Whoever being poor buys costly fish,
And though in want of much, in this is lavish,
He strips by night whoever he may meet.
So when a man is stripp'd thus, let him go
[360] At early morn and watch the fish-market.
And the first man he sees both poor and young
Buying his eels of Micio, let him seize him,
And drag him off to prison by the throat.

And Diphilus, in his Merchant, says that there is some such law as this in existence among the Corinthians—

And Sophilus, in his Androcles, wishes that the same custom prevailed at Athens also, thinking that it would be a good thing if two or three men were appointed by the city to the regulation of the provision markets. And Lynceus the Samian wrote a treatise on purveying against some one who was very difficult to please when making his purchases; teaching him what a man ought to say to those homicidal fishmongers, so as to buy what he wants at a fair rate and without being exposed to any annoyance.

[361] 13. Ulpian again picking out the thorns from what was said, asked—Are we able to show that the ancients used silver vessels at their banquets? and is the word πίναξ a Greek noun? For with reference to the line in Homer—

The swineherd served up dishes (πίνακας) of rich meat,[361:1]

Aristophanes the Byzantine said that it was a modernism to speak of meats being placed on platters (πίνακες), not being aware that in other places the poet has said—

Dishes (πίνακας) of various meats the butler brought.[361:2]

I ask also, if any men among the ancients had ever acquired a multitude of slaves, as the men of modern times do: and if the word τήγανον (frying-pan) is ever found, and not the form τάγηνον only. So that we may not fix our whole attention on eating and drinking, like those who from their devotion to their bellies are called parasites and flatterers.

14. And Æmilianus replied to him,—The word πίναξ, when used of a vessel, you may find used by Metagenes the comic writer, in his Valiant Persians: and Pherecrates, my friend, has used the form τήγανον in his Trifles, where he says—

A.	Receive this thing.
B.	What is it?
A.	Why the child Which I had from you, which I now bring back.
B.	Why? will you no more keep him?
A.	He's not mine.
B.	Nor mine.
A.	But you it was who gave him me.
B.	I gave him not.
A.	How so?
B.	I but restored him.
A.	You gave me what I never need have taken.

	. . . . Give it not, Only restore it.
B.	Here I now have brought it.

A.	You bid me now to speak of everything Rather than what is to the purpose; well, I'll gratify you so far.
B.	You shall find As the first fruits that you have pacified The great Demosthenes.
A.	But who is he?
B.	That Briareus who swallows spears and shields; A man who hates all quibbles; never uses Antithesis nor trope; but from his eyes Glares terrible Mars.

A.	This is an admirable law at Corinth, That when we see a man from time to time Purveying largely for his table, we Should ask him whence he comes, and what's his business: And if he be a man of property, Whose revenues can his expenses meet, Then we may let him as he will enjoy himself. But if he do his income much exceed, Then they bid him desist from such a course, And fix a fine on all who disobey. And if a man having no means at all Still lives in splendid fashion, him they give Unto the gaoler.
B.	Hercules! what a law.
A.	For such a man can't live without some crime. Dost thou not see? He must rove out by night And rob, break into houses, or else share With some who do so. Or he must haunt the forum, A vile informer, or be always ready As a hired witness. And this tribe we hate, And gladly would expel from this our city.
B.	And you'd do well, by Jove; but what is that to me?
A.	Because we see you every day, my friend, Making not moderate but extravagant purchases. You hinder all the rest from buying fish, And drive the city to the greengrocer, And so we fight for parsley like the combatants At Neptune's games on th' Isthmus. Does a hare Come to the market? it is yours; a thrush Or partridge? all do go the selfsame way. So that we cannot buy or fish or fowl; And you have raised the price of foreign wine.