She: "It must be a dreadful thing to become old and ugly. I should much prefer to die young."

He: "You'll have to hurry up then!"

"I have a Song to Sing O."

ON THE BRAIN

Mr. Beerbohm Tree

A NASTY ONE

Wrymug: "I assure you the blamed fog was so thick I couldn't find the way to my own mouth."

Quizzer: "What! When it's just round the corner!"

ON THE BRAIN

General Booth

NEW USE FOR A CLOTHES-PEG

How to obtain a good French accent

Mistress (to new cook): "Now are you sure you have had experience?"

Cook: "Oh, yes, mum! I've been in 'undreds of places."

PICKSOME

Little Spriggins: "Yes, we always dine at a private table. You see, my wife is so fond of picking bones."

Old Joker: "I suppose that's why she picked you."

ON THE BRAIN

Lord Mayor Savory

THE WRONG SHOP

(Carol singing in Hatton Garden) "Christians Awake!"

ON THE BRAIN

Mr. George Augustus Sala

BAKERS' STRIKE

She: Oh, John, we're next the engine."

He: "Never mind, we'll get there all the quicker."

The Boy: "Grandpa, is a Jewess a She-brew?"

SAVAGE SOUTH AFRICA

A Prior Engagement.

THE NORTH POLE

SUGGESTIVE

Small Boy: "Hi! Can you spare a copper?"

LEG-ISLATION

INTELLIGENCE DEPARTMENT

Yokel: "Say, sir, does I put this 'er stamp on meself?"

Post-Assistant: "On yourself. No, on the letter, you booby."

THE CONSUMING PASSION

"Have you heard that Jones has given up 'booze'?"

"No, I wouldn't believe it."

"But he has, and he's dead."

THE DOWN TRAIN

Crossing Sweeper: "'Ere, if you're goin' to sweep the bloomin' crossin' yerself, I'm hoff."

Retired Burglar: "Oh, my son! Always remember that it is wrong to steal on Sunday."

ON THE BRAIN

Mr. Punch