How They Enlist
TWO guardsmen, and a Dublin boy
Were drinking in a bar
The Dublin boy was standing treat,
Unto the men of War,
And thus to one, he speaketh so—
The taller of the two—
"I wonder how men come to go
And list, now how did you?
The soldier grinned a stately grin,
In military style,
He meant it for the Dublin boy
As patronising smile!
"It kind of sort like worries me,—
This was the cause of that,
I always liked to feed on lean,
I couldn't bolt the fat!
"One day, it was at dinner, see,
A big disgustin' lump
Of fat, was dumped upon my plate,
I got the bloomin' hump!
I merely took the thing upon
My fork, and with a sigh,
I let my father have the fat
Whop in his bloomin' eye!
"A sign of partnership dissolved
Between my boss, and me,
I took the shillin', and became
A guardsman, as you see,
But there! my appetite has been
Most tricky like, and mean,
Now I can eat a pound of fat,
And I detest the lean!"

THE KINDERGARTEN WAY.

The kindergarten way I

I N a perfumed orange grove, ajacent to Cordova,
I taught the English Grammar unto a lady gay;
The verb "to osculate"
I taught to conjugate,
Corporeally depicted, in kindergarten way.
But by eavesdropping trick,
A caballero quick,
With lapse of condescension,—
But where I may not mention,—
In dexter handed flick,
The Spanish verb to "stick"
Corporeally inflicted, in kindergarten way.
The verb "to do," he did it,
For Spanish laws forbid it;
To translate free,
Corporeallee,
The verb "to love," and practice it,
Upon the pupil, 'tis unfit,
To illustrate,
Its active state,
When passive hate,
Behind a gate,
Doth lie in wait,
To teach the verb "to suffer,"
In kindergarten way;
He taught the verb "to suffer,"
By impromt sword display,
I learnt the verb "to suffer!"
And would not, could not stay,
So left upon that day,
My fee he did not pay,
His ingrate, Spanish way!
curtain