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The “broadside,” which Pierce Egan calls—“Another wicked piracy, by Catnach,” consists of twelve woodcuts,—of which we have given facsimiles in our pages—it will be seen that they are reduced and very roughly executed copies of the original plates by the Brothers Cruikshank, but in reverse. Therefore the swaggering Notice to Pirates which Jemmy Catnach published reads funny enough. The letter-press matter consists of flash songs, and a poetical epitome of the plot and design of the original work of “Life in London.” And taking it as it stands, and from where it emanated, rather a creditable performance, particularly when we take into consideration—as duly announced by the street-patterer, that it was—“Just printed and pub—lish—ed, all for the low charge of “Twopence.”

On the rarity of this Catnachian and piratical edition of “Life in London” it is superfluous to enlarge, and it is easy to account for this circumstance, if we reflect that the broadside form of publication is by no means calculated for preservation; hundreds of similar pieces printed at the “Catnach Press” and at other offices publishing for street-sale must have perished. The more generally acceptable a broadside or street-ballad became, and was handed about for perusal, the more it was exposed to the danger of destruction. No copy of Catnach’s version is preserved in the British Museum, therefore, and for reason above stated, it must be considered as a great “Literary Curiosity.”[38]

 

Old Stage Waggon.

 

As we have before observed, “Life in London” was dedicated by permission to George IV., and it is a circumstance in itself which looks singular enough in this Victorian age, that royalty should have condescended to have had such a work dedicated to it. One paragraph, which we are about to quote, strikes us as being a very peculiar and free-and-easy style for an author to address himself to a King of England. It is as follows:—

“Indeed, the whole chapter of ‘Life in London’ has been so repeatedly perused by your Majesty in such a variety of shapes—from the elegant A, the refined B, the polite C, the lively D, the eloquent E, the honest F, the stately G, the peep-o’-day H, the tasteful I, the manly J, the good K, the noble L, the stylish M, the brave N, the liberal O, the proud P, the long-headed Q, the animated R, the witty S, the flash T, the knowing U, the honourable V, the consummate W, the funny X, the musical Y, and the poetical Z,—that it would only be a waste of your Majesty’s valuable time to expatiate further upon this subject.”

One notable effect of “Life in London,” particularly in its dramatised form, must be recorded. It broke the heart of poor Billy Waters, the one-legged musical negro, who died in St. Giles’s workhouse, on Friday, March 21, 1823, whispering with his ebbing breath, a mild anathema, which sounded very much like: “Cuss him, dam Tom—meē—Tom—meē Jerry!”

Poor Billy endeavoured, up to the period of his last illness, to obtain for a wife and two children what he termed, “An honest living by scraping de cat-gut!” by which he originally collected considerable sums of money at the West-end of the town, where his ribbon-decked cocked hat and feathers, with the grin on his countenance, and sudden turn and kick out of his wooden limb, and other antics and efforts to please, excited much mirth and attention, and were well rewarded from the pockets of John Bull. The burden of Billy’s ditty “from morn to dewy eve,” and from January to December, was:—

Polly will you marry me—Polly don’t you cry,
Polly will you marry me—Polly don’t you cry:—
Cry—cry—cry!

 

BILLY WATERS.

Mr. W. T. Moncrieff, the dramatist, is responsible for the following biographical notice of this old London Street Character:—“Of this meritorious and lamented individual, we had with great trouble collected from various sources, an ample and interesting Biography. But unfortunately for posterity, in the same classic regions where he lost his life, we also lost his life; and, to tell the truth under the influence of the same seductive fluid too—Daffy!—we can therefore only present our reader with a few brief notices from memory.”

Billy Waters, was born in the powerful African kingdom of Tongocongotaboo, where he was a native Prince, and bore the name of Pokikokiquanko; from this place he was at an early age, to the universal regret of his loving subjects, kidnapped, by ‘an auld Quaker,’ who bought him from his treacherous attendants, for two axes, a frying-pan and a bag of nails. This black piece of business made him a slave, in the French settlement, at Demarara, from whence however he speedly took French leave, and entered, we believe, the British navy as a cook par excellence on board the Ganymede sloop of war, under the command of Sir John Purvis, where, during a fierce engagement, he lost a leg, some say gallantly fighting the enemies of old England, though others insinuate it was through falling down the cockpit ladder, in his great hurry to hide himself. His own version was that he fell from the top-sail yard to the quarter deck during a storm, we cannot pretend to decide which was the fact, it however occasioned his being sent to England, as unfit for service. Arriving in London, he betook himself to that wild mode of life, which best suited his origin; the trammels of civilized society, had no charm for him; he scorned the mechanical rules of man, and picked up his living wherever he could find it. Born a Prince, and bearing a native princeliness in his appearance it is not to be wondered at that his associates should speedly elect him to the regal dignity of their tribe.

In the year 1812 Billy was solemnly inauguared ex cathedra into the sovereignty of mendicityship—King of the Beggars—at the cellar of St. Patrick in St Giles’, a rank he supported with great satisfaction and majesty, till the luckless period when a rival Billy (Bodkin), by being placed at the head of the mendicity society, virtually became King of the Beggars in his own right. This—as he conceived it, cruel usurpation by Bodkin, pricked Billy just a leetle too hard. From that moment he drooped as a blighted lily, and like another black hero he exclaimed—‘Othello’s occupation’s gone.’ The fickle British public refused to be as liberal as they had been, which he attributed to the production of “Tom and Jerry” with whom he was made to partake of:—

“Shoulder of veal and garnish—Turkey and appendages—Parmesan and Filberts—Port and Madeira.” Billy on hearing the above list given out as forming the “peck and booze for the evening,” exclaimed “Dat dam goot, me like a de Madery—Landlord, here, you give this bag of broken wittals, vot I had give to me to day, to some genteel dog vot pass your door: and you make haste wid de supper, you curse devil you.”

Enter LANDLORD with Supper.

Landlord. Now, your honours, here’s the rum peck, here’s the supper.

Billy. Eh, de supper! de supper! come along. (After striking Creeping Jack on the fingers with a knife) you damn nasty dog! what for you put yur dirty fingers in de gravy? you call dat gentlemans? you want your fingers in de pie, now you got him dere!

Jack. I only wish’d to taste the stuffining.

Billy. And now you taste de carver knife instead! (Takes candle, and looks at supper). Vy, what him call dis?

Landlord. Why the turkey and the pie, to be sure.

Billy. De turkey and de pie! I tink you said de turkey and de pie,——what! de turkey widout de sassinger! him shock——him wouldn’t give pin for turkey widout dem——me like a de Alderman in chain.

Landlord. I’m very sorry, Mr. Waters, but——

Billy. You sorry!——I sorry for my supper, you damn dog, you serve up de turkey without de sassinger—no lemon to de weal—no hoyster saase to de rum’-steaks, who you tink eat rum’-steaks widout de hoyster saase? You send no filberts to de Port, nor debils to de Madery nather. Mee must use some other hot-hell—you dog.

However, by a combination of events, Billy became very poor, and was obliged, prior to his going into the workhouse, to part with his old friend, the fiddle.—“Him lend him ole fiddle to him uncle at de pop shop,” and the wooden pin (leg) which had so often supported Billy, would have shared the same fate, but its extensive service had rendered it worthless though it had twice saved poor Billy from the penalties of the Treadmill. At length, in the full belief that his spirit was about to flee to meet his coloured ancestors in the realms of bliss and a free hunting ground, he duly made his will, in which he bequeathed to W. Bodkin, Esq,—Billy Bodkin, the Hon. Sec. to the Mendicity Society: a bodkin that had so often pierced Billy to the heart—his wooden leg, earnestly desiring he might receive it in his latter end.

In life he had been accustomed to wear a military cocked hat, a judge’s full-bottomed cauliflower wig, and a naval officer’s jacket and trousers, symbolical of his being the head and arbiter of the naval, military, and judicial departments in his eleemosynary kingdom, these he bequeathed in the following manner: His wig he left to the Court of Chancery, in the vague hope that they might obtain with it a little of his decision in equity, and promptness in justice. His military hat he left to the Heads of the Horse Guards, and his naval jacket and trousers to the old washerwomen that manage the Greenwich Hospital. The Deal Fiddle, on which he had been used to scrape his native WOOD notes wild, we are happy to state, was taken out of lavender, and is now in the possession of the Tyburn Ketch and Glee Club—the duplicate having been bequeathed to them for that purpose.

In conclusion we have only to state, that Billy was an accomplished cadger, a skilful musician, and adroit dancer—doing more on one leg than many others on two, and possessed abilities that as an actor would have rendered him a shining ornament to the stage—“to hold, as t’were, the mirror up to nature; to show virtue her own feature, scorn her own black image!”

Billy was considered of sufficient public importance, when in the flesh, to be moulded and well baked by a Potter, who taking up and moistening a lump of clay, said, “Be ware!” and then turned Billy out in one of his happiest moods and positions, with a broad grin on his black mug—a perfect image, suitable for a chimney or sideboard ornament; which found a ready sale at the time of its manufacture, but has now become very rare in perfect condition, and, much coveted by collectors to add to their Class, or Section of “English Characters.” Specimens of this style of ware are exhibited in the Bethnal Green Museum, London. Henry Willett, Esq. of Brighton, also exhibits his fine collection of the same class of ware at the Brighton Free Public Library.

 

LINES ON BILLY WATERS.

By W. Reeves, June, 1823.

Peace to the manes of Black Billy Waters,
Well-known throughout the Town!
The reason that he left these quarters—
Is plain—He was by Death done brown.

His life was one continu’d round
Of pleasure and of glee;
His fiddle caus’d the hearts to bound
Of children as big as me.

Mags came thick, this made him merry;
Fortune changes in a crack—
Folks they went t’see Tom and Jerry,
And on Billy turn’d their back.

Justice, at length, seiz’d on poor Bill,
Who quickly took his peg off;
So they didn’t send him to the Mill,
’Cause, why? he’d got a leg off.

His day was o’er, he soon found out
Poverty with rapid stride
Follow’d him, and clamor’s shout
Meant poor Billy to deride.

In vain he fiddl’d, danc’d and sung,
Until he was out of breath;
Starving he was, his bow unstrung,
Till he danc’d—The Dance of Death.

 


Little Jemmy.

The real name of this notorious street-character was Andrew Whiston. He was a born cripple, and in every respect a most miserable object of charity. Moncrieff imported him into his Adelphi version of “Tom and Jerry; or, Life in London,” as “Little Jemmy,” and there figures in the Scene: Back Slums in the Holy Land: in company with Mr. Jenkins, Soldier Suke, Dingy Bet, Creeping Jack, Billy Waters, Ragged Dick, and other well-known characters.—Vide page 46.

For many years Andrew, alias “Little Jemmy,” had been in the habit of propelling himself about the streets of London in a little truck, or box on wheels, assisted by the aid of two small crutches. He always wore a white apron to conceal the deformity of his legs, which were curved, and had the appearance of thin planks, having no calves.

To avoid the penalties attached to begging and vagrancy he usually carried a few quill pens stuck in his coat and apron; declaring it to be the only trade to which he had been brought up, whence he was called The Penmaker! He has been heard to acknowledge he derived as much in his perambulations through the streets as amounted to £2 per week. It was his custom every morning to cross over Blackfriars Bridge for the purpose of gathering alms. He always prided himself as leader of the “Cadgers,” in the metropolis, and was one of the most dissipated of the class to which he belonged; never returning to the hovel, in which he took up his abode, in the Borough, except in a state of intoxication. In his fits of inebriety, when at a distance from home, and incapable of proceeding, he was generally picked up by some of the numerous coalheavers, residing in the same quarter of the town, and carried to his dwelling on their shoulders; this, from his diminutive stature, was no very difficult task to perform.

On the night of his death, which occurred Monday, April 3, 1826, he had been drinking spirits, and porter, during the day, and was as usual carried home by two men; for which they were to receive a pot of beer. On setting down their burden, the unfortunate man—who had been conveyed with his head downwards, was discovered to be in a dying state. Surgical assistance was immediately procured, but poor “Little Jemmy,” was quite dead ere it arrived. Information of his death was given at 11 o’clock to the night constable of St. Saviour’s Parish, who proceeded to the house, the inmates of which refused to give up the body, on the ground that their late lodger died in their debt a month’s rent. Another strong reason for their refusal in delivering up the corpse, was a report that prevailed in the neighbourhood, that the surgeons of both the hospitals in the Borough had offered no less a sum than £100 for the body after death, for the purpose of dissection, in consequence of its extraordinary formation. The constable, however, claimed the body of the deceased, as none of his relations were on the spot, and conveyed it away to the watch-house, clearly perceiving that if it was left behind, the inmates would dispose of it to the highest bidder.

On Friday, April 7, an inquest was held at the Rose and Ball public-house, Bankside, Southwark, before R. Carter, Esq. Upon the return of the jury after viewing the body, all of whom expressed their astonishment at the decrepitude and peculiar formation of the singular little man. The surgeon in attendance having described the death to have occurred in consequence of apoplexy. The jury brought in a verdict in accordance with the medical evidence that the deceased died of “Apoplexy.”

The day after the inquest sat on the body it was conveyed to St. Saviour’s Burial ground, and interred in a grave dug 14 feet in depth from the surface, over which were placed three other coffins, in order to secure it against the resurrection-men, who were anxious to have the corpse to dispose of.

Subsequently to the death of Billy Waters, the notorious black mendicant fiddler—March, 1823; “Little Jemmy” acquired the soubriquet of The King of the Beggars.

 

 


The Tread-Mill at Brixton.

In the year 1817, Mr.—afterwards Sir William—Cubitt, of Ipswich, erected a Tread-Mill at Brixton Gaol—and soon afterwards in other large prisons, as a species of preventive punishment, which excited much attention and terror to evil doers, and proved eminently useful in decreasing the number of commitments; the strict discipline had a most salutary effect upon the prisoners not easily to be forgotten. Yet, the inventor’s name gave rise to many jokes on the subject among such of the prisoners who could laugh at their own crimes, who said that they were now punished by the cubit!

In nearly all the new and fa—vour—ite comic songs of the day allusion was made to the Treadmill of Brixton as—The Everlasting Stairs!—The Stepping Mill!—The New Dancing Academy! &c. A street-ballad on the subject was issued from the “Catnach Press” and had a most unprecedented sale, keeping the pressmen and boys working for weeks:—

“And we’re all treading, tread, tread, treading,
And we’re all treading, at fam’d Brixton Mill.”

The following punning ditty was very popular at the period:—

The Treadmill.

This Brixton Mill’s a fearful ill,
And he who brought the Bill in,
Is threatn’d by the cribbing coves,
That he shall have a milling.
They say he shew’d a simple pate,
To think of felons mending:
As every step which here they take,
They’re still in crime ascending.

And when releas’d, and in the streets
Their former snares they’re spreading,
They swear ’tis Parliament, which wills
They must their old ways tread in.
The Radicals begin to think
’Twill touch the Constitution,
For as the wheel moves round and round,
It brings a Revolution.

But though these snarlers show their teeth,
And try to vex the nation,
Their actions soon are tried and judg’d,
And grinding is their station.
The Gambling swells who near St. James’
Have play’d their double dealings,
Say ’tis not fair that Bow-street should
Thus work upon their feelings.

Tom, Jerry, Logic, three prime sprigs,
Find here they cannot come it,
For though their fancy soars aloft,
They ne’er will reach the summit.
Corinthian Kate and buxom Sue
Must change their warm direction,
For if they make one false step more
They’ll have Cold Bath Correction.

The moon-struck youths who haunt the stage,
And spend their master’s siller,
Must here play to another tune,
’Tis called the Dusty Miller.
Ye bits of blood (the watchman’s dread)
Who love to floor a Charley,
As you delight to strip and fight,
Come forth and mill the barley.

John Barleycorn’s a stout old blade,
As every man puts trust in,
And you will make no meal of him,
But he’ll give you a dusting.
But here we’ll stay, for puns they say,
Are bad as stealing purses
And I to Brixton may be sent,
To grind some floury verses.

Going to the Mill!

 

THE WARNING.

Supposed to have been sung by a Cadger to his Companions on his Return from “The New Dancing Academy,” Brixton.

Tune.—“Bow wow, &c.

You Cadgers all, both great and small,
Attend to vat I say, Sirs,
All prigging stow, or you vill go
Where I com’d from to day, Sirs.
As down the Strand, a Gent so grand,
Was strutting, mighty fine, Sirs,
His hankercher hung out so fur,
I really thought ’twas mine, Sirs.
Tol de rol, &c.

I made a grab—he did me nab,
To quod I quick vas taken;
The magistrate he sat in state:
I trembl’d for my bacon.
Evidence o’er—oh vhat a bore!—
His eyes on me he fix’d on;
Says he to me, “Go, have a spree
At the Treading Mill at Brixton.”
Tol de rol, &c.

Vhen I reach’d there, a surly bear,
The steps he bid me mount, Sirs—
From Dirty Dick, up to the kick,
Ve’d a swelling black legg’d Count, Sirs.
Both high and low, they have a go:
Oh! ’tis a decent pill, Sirs.
They step avay, and cry all day,
“The devil take the Mill, Sirs.”
Tol de rol, &c.

Then varning take, and keep avake,
For Traps are not asleep, Sirs;
They prowl about, to find us out,
Like volves do after sheep, Sirs.
My life I’ll change—don’t think it strange,
I’ll vork, that’s vat I vill, Sirs,
Both night and day, to keep away
From the curs’d Treading Mill, Sirs,
Tol de rol, &c.

In the Adelphi version of “Tom & Jerry,” there is as follow:—

Black Slums in the Holy Land.

Mr. J. Does any gemmen understand these here Tread Mills, that have lately got such a footing?

Jack. Silence! Gemmen: I’m a-going to make a hobservation, Mr. Jenkins means them there Mills as makes you vork vether there’s any vork or no—I can only say this here, gemmen, if them there Mills are encouraged, it von’t be vorth no body’s vile to exercise vone’s calling—because, vy, von may as vell go and vork for vone’s living at once—but the subject von’t bear not no thinking on.

Omnes. Not by no means. (General groans).

Billy Waters. Oh, curse a de Tread Mill, me no like a de “here we go up, up, up,” and “down you go down, down, down,”—an’ if you no work, a great big lump of wood come and knock you down so—(Strikes beggar on head with his fiddle, who falls down). Poor fellow, him werry sorry.


Tom and Jerry; or, Life in London.

Tune.—“Picture of a Playhouse.”
Of Life in London, Tom, Jerry, and Logic I sing,
’Tis a subject (I hope it will please)
Men and boys in my ears long time they did ding,
So I determined to risk a good squeeze—
To the Strand then I toddled—the mob it was great—
My watch I found gone—pockets undone:
I fretted, at first, and rail’d against fate,
For I paid well to see “Life in London.”

Spoken.-“La, vel now, if I a’n’t all of a perspiration,—positively, I’m in a melting mood;” this was uttered by a tallow chandler’s fat wife. Her hubby, Mr. Wicks, cries out “What the devil are you talking about melting?—for my part, I hate mention of business when I’m out on pleasure.” “Come, don’t be dipping in my pocket, if you please, Sir.” “Vat, vat is de matter?” “Wat! who’s talking of wats?” “Vy, my dear Mr. Vicks, I think this man’s making a reticule of me.” “By the powers! it is a very fortunate circumstance he be making a reticule for you, Ma’am, for that there young man, in the drab great coat, has just cut yours from the chain, and put it in his pocket.” “Mind what you’re arter, mind your pockets.” “Where are you pushing to?” “Where am I pushing to? I’m pushing

To see Tom and Jerry,
The lads who delight in
A bottle of Sherry
And watch to be fighting,
For that’s the time o’ day.
In the course of the piece is the parlour of Cribb,
There they chaunted their songs full of glee;
In the chair sits blythe Tom, he’s the real boy to fib,
And he’s also the boy for a spree.
The street-row comes next, and is kept up so well,
That I laugh’d and never wish’d the fun done,
Those who play Charlies, I’m sure they can tell
What a street-row is in fam’d London.

Spoken.—“La! now, is this not a delightful picture of life! how do you like it, my dear?” “Oh Mamma, I likes it very well, only one thing is, I’m sorry I didn’t bring some hapennies out of my money-box, to give the poor beggar-people.” “Dear little innocent!” “Was you innocent when you was little, Mamma?” “Yes, my love.” “But, are you innocent now, Mamma?” “Why, yes—that is to say—as most women of my age are, my dear.” “Well. Mr. O’Quiz, how do you like the piece?” “Faith, now, the piece is very well, only one thing.” “And what may that be, pray?” “Why, I’m not inclined to make any objection at all, at all: but, by my soul! this is the first time I ever saw or heard of Life in St. Giles’s, without an Irishman being concerned in it.” “Hollo! what is all this hubbubboo?” “Why, it’s the half price, pushing in

To see Tom and Jerry, &c.

High life and low life are correctly pourtrayed
At Almack’s, I mean both the East and the West.
The actor’s look life, they so well are arrayed,
But the Back Slums to my mind is surely the best.
Logic a party invites to give them a treat,
The bailiff comes in and Bob’s undone;
He by Nab’em is press’d and ta’en to the Fleet,
Which brings to a close Life in London.

Spoken.—The piece being over, there’s a grand rush to the doors: then, hey for the pleasures of a soaking wet night. “Well, positively, ’pon honor, if it does’nt rain; its enough to make any one cross when one’s going out to a ball.” “Want a coach your honor?” “Yes, drive me to St. Paul’s.” “What, in the name of St. Patrick, can he want at the cross and ball of St. Paul’s at this time of night?” “Oh! bless my soul! I think I’ve broken my leg.” “Coach to Cripplegate.” “I say, look at that Cove diving at that Gent’s pocket.” “I hope you’ll excuse me, but I’ve got a cold, therefore want my hankerchief; but, as you’re so fond of diving, I’ll accommodate you—the Thames is near, and you shall have a dam’d good ducking.” “All right, Coachee.” “Watch! Watch!” “Hark! the Pianos going.” “Watch! Watch!” “What’s the row?” “Oh! only some fancy Lads, who, having seen the Charlies well mill’d inside, have already commenced milling them outside, and the word with them is

We’re like Tom and Jerry, &c.

 

The following ballad is from the “Catnach Press:”—

PIERCE EGAN; OR, LIFE IN LONDON.
Written by a Corinthian, and sung in Prime Twig by an Out-and-Outer.

In the country, our squire
Had a very large book,
Which into my hands
I quite often had took;
Life in London, I think,
Were the name that it had,
And ’twas wrote by Pierce Egan,
That comical lad.
Oh, Pierce Egan! knowing Pierce Egan,
You must in your time have seen wonderful fun.

When I first came from country
Into this great town,
I laugh’d at each joke
As I walked up and down;
Till three fellows I met,
They were bold as could be;
And Tom, Jerry, and Logic,
Say they, you now see.
Oh, Pierce Egan! &c.

At night, in the street,
You are sure of a row,
And the Charlies are bother’d
I cannot tell how;
But if to the watch-house
The chaps be all taken,
You’ll find Egan’s heroes
To be there, sure as bacon.
Oh, Pierce Egan &c.

E’en the boys in the street
Do talk flash, you must know,
And the real out-and-outers
Do strut to and fro;
While a gemmen in powder
From none will retreat,
But will peel, a coal-heaver,
Or dustman to beat.
Oh, Pierce Egan! &c.

And since Life in London
Has been all the rage,
There’s nothing else now
That will do for the stage;
And parsons, and tailors,
And barbers likewise
Go to Spring, Cribb, or Belcher,
To learn to black eyes.
Oh, Pierce Egan! &c.

But this I must say
To my friends in this place,
That chaffing and milling
Does puppies disgrace;
And if they would know
How such knaves may be undone,
They’ll read that same book
Which is called Life in London.
Oh, Pierce Egan! &c.

J. Catnach, Printer, 2, Monmouth Court, 7 Dials.

 

THE LAST CHARLEY.

“Pity the sorrows of a poor old man.”

St. Giles’s clock had sounded two,
The moon was on the wane,
And bitterly the north wind blew;
In torrents fell the rain.

When like a goblin from the grave,
A ghastly form appear’d,
And thrice a grievous groan it gave,
Thrice scratch’d its grisly beard.

Tall, wretched, shiv’ring, pale and thin,
It brav’d the pelting storm,
Without an upper Benjamin
To keep the carcase warm.

Prostrate upon the flags it lay,
Where Seven Dials meet;
And “Och!” it cried, “is this the way
A jontleman to treat?

“I soon must haste to join the throng
On Pluto’s dreary coast—
I’ve given up my spirits long,
Now I’ll give up the ghost.

“Yes! I must go, at fate’s command,
In Charon’s ferry boat,
And change the rattle in my hand
For rattles in my throat.

“That rattle which the prigs to catch
Would other Charleys bring,
Watchmen, we know, are like a watch
Nothing without a spring.

“My lanthorn!—and the thought, I vow,
The sob of sorrow draws;
No lanthorn can I carry now,
Except my lanthorn jaws.

“With grief unfeign’d my heart is big—
The power of utterance fails,
And losing thee, my old Welsh wig,
This tortur’d heart be-Wails.

“My night-cap red, which this poor head
Hath screen’d from damp and dew,
Like my poor cap, I’ve lost my nap,
And I am worsted too.

“Snug in my box I bore the shocks
Of drunkard’s jeer and scoffing;
Now the vile cough will take me off,
And box me in a coffin.

“To thee, my pipe, my bosom yearns—
Those moments, free from pain,
In which I sat and smok’d returns,
Will ne’er return again.

“This New Police has laid me flat—
Let Christian hearts condole;
And in the mud they roll poor Pat,
Who once was a Patrol.

“Och! when I think of former years,
It almost drives me crazy;
Bear up, my sowl—be dry, my tears—
My throbbing heart be azy.

“Once I was young, but now I’m owld,
Once full of fun and frisky—
But now I shudder with the cowld
And the devil a drop of whisky!”

He spoke, and sadly gaz’d around
(The last words he could utter),
Then with a mournful guttural sound,
Roll’d headlong in the gutter.

 

Printed by T. BIRT, 10, Great St. Andrew-Street,
(wholesale and retail,) Seven Dials, London.

Country Orders punctually attended to.
Every description of Printing on the most reasonable terms,
Children’s Books, Battledores, Pictures, &c.

 

THE SPREES OF
TOM, JERRY AND LOGIC;

A New Song, of Flash, Fashion, Frolic, and Fun.

Come all ye swells and sporting blades who love to see good fun,
Who in the dark, to have a lark, a mile or two would run;
Here’s a dish of entertainment which cannot fail to please,
The rigs of Tom and Jerry, and all their jolly sprees.
With their dash along, flash along, to Life and London haste away,
Where sprees and rambles, larks and gambols, is the time of day.

From Hawthorn-Hall young Jerry came to see his cousin Tom,
And with his friend Bob Logic acquainted soon became,
Then to cut a dash, he learns the flash, to act high life and low,
And up and down through all the town at night they rambling go.

In a morning at Tattersall’s you may them often see,
’Mong jockies, grooms, and chaunters, a knowing company;
In the afternoon they’re lounging in Burlington Arcade,
And at night they’re at the Opera, Ball, or Masquerade.

Among the milling kiddy coves young Jerry took delight,
And was always first to raise a purse to have a glorious fight.
A Fancy blade he then became, and his courage ran so high,
That in his room, he floor’d his groom, and black’d his valet’s eye.

Then off to Leicester-fields they’d march, the Strand, or Drury-lane
Among the sporting ladies to carry on the game,
They’d take them to a gin-shop and treat them round so civil,
Then spur them on to fight and scratch each other like the devil.

While rambling up and down one night they came to Temple-Bar,
And to have a spree, they did agree, ’gainst the Charlies to make war,
Then in the twinkling of an eye a watch-box was upset,
The Watchy roar’d till all was blue, but out he could not get.

They smash’d their lanterns, kick’d their shins, and did their pipkins crack,
And laid them down so neatly one by one upon their backs,
The prigs and sporting ladies all joined in the row,
But Jerry, Tom, and Logic by the pigs [watchmen] were ta’en in tow.

Then to the Holy Land they went disguis’d from top to toe,
To see the Beggar’s Opera where all the Cadgers go,
With Mahogany Bet they had a lark, Black Moll, and Dumpling Kate,
And treated all the apple-women with a yard of tape [gin].

Now, with your leave good folks I will conclude my flashy song,
I hope you’re entertained, and I’ve not detain’d you long,
And Logic, Tom, and Jerry, do cordially unite,
To thank you for your patronage, and wish you all Good Night.
With their dash along, &c.

 

LONDON:
Printed by J. CATNACH, 2 Monmouth Court, 7 Dials.
Battledores, Lotteries, and Primers sold cheap.
Travellers and Shopkeepers supplied with Sheet Hymns. Patter and Slips.
Songs as Cheap and Good as any Shop in London. Where an
Immense number of songs are always ready.
Cards, &c., Printed cheap.

 

I’M A CONSTABLE IN MY OWN RIGHT.

I’m a Constable in my own right,
I think that I am of some use;
A searching by day and by night;
Correcting of every abuse.
I carries my staff in my hand,
My power to let the folks see;
I’m certain all over the land
There’s no one so busy as me.
And I’m a Constable, &c.

A Beggar I know by his rags,
A thief I can tell by his looks;
My eyes and my nose never flags,
I puts ’em down in my black books;
The blind beggars when they sees me
A coming ne’er stops to stand still;
Tho’ ever so lame, they walk free,
Or else they would walk to the mill.
For I’m a Constable, &c.

The Publicans all are polite,
As soon as they sees me come in,
They press, and entreat, and invite
To choose of rum, brandy, or gin;
But from me they gets a rebuff,
The offer I always decline;
I scorns to take such vile stuff,
As I never drinks nothing but wine.
And I’m a Constable, &c.

The Watchmen don’t dare go to sleep,
They knows they’d be fined if they do;
Round with the Patroles I creep,
Each morning between one and two.
The Patrole’s don’t like it, ’tis true,
But of me they all are afraid,
And I’m resolved my duty to do,
For I know there’s some cash to be made.
For I’m a Constable, &c.

Old women who sits with the fruit,
Had better not come in my claw;
I pulls ’em up——won’t let ’em do’t,
Because ’tis contrary to law:
Such nuisances ought to be fin’d
And I get a share of the pelf;
My trouble I never don’t mind,
’Cause I keeps a green-grocer’s myself.
And I’m a Constable, &c.

The Watch-house owns me for its king,
I reigns there without a control;
If any blackguards they bring,
I sends ’em down to the black hole;
But if a gentleman gets drunk, so free,
And is brought in——mayhap for a whim
If he behaves genteel to me,
Why I behaves genteel to him.
For I’m a Constable, &c.

When I sits in my chair of a night,
Should any unfortunate gals
Be brought in, I thinks it but right
To commit ’em along with their pals.
The Toms and the Jerrys I hooks,
And takes them to Bow Street, next day;
Tho’ when very sorry they looks,
I lets them off if they can pay.
For I’m a Constable, &c.

The butchers’ and chandlers’ shops,
What used to be serving o’ Sunday,
So shockingly wicked, I stops;
I pulls them all up on the Monday,
I shows no favours to none,
My labours they seem to prove double,
And thinks before I have done,
I shall save Mr. Johnson some trouble.
For I’m a Constable, &c.

Our Parish has got a bad plan,
’Tis always to quarrel and storm;
I’m sure I shall do all I can
To bring on a speedy reform:
Our Overseers are all quite strange,
And that any body may see;
It would make a most wonderful change,
If they all were as busy as me.
For I’m a Constable, &c.

 

LONDON:
Printed by GOLD and WALTON, Wardour Street, Oxford Street,
For T. Hudson, Kean’s Head, Russell Court, Drury Lane,
1828.

 

When again shall we Three meet,
Amongst the Swells in Regent Street?
Come soon, my boy—come with glee,
For lots of Fun—another Spree!

With respect to the publication of Life in London; or, the Day and Night Scenes of Tom and Jerry. The proverbial everybody seems for the nonce to have been pleased with the work. The thirty-six scenes from Real Life, designed and etched by the Brothers Cruikshank had much to do with its success, and everybody seems to have made a great deal of money out of the circumstance—save and except the author, Pierce Egan, for he very loudly and frequently, and also “cry-baby-like,” declared inter alia, that he received—“more of the kicks than the halfpence” by reason of the Pirates and Thieves being ever on the alert to prig his thoughts and ideas, and that the whole crew of them united to grab all the “lively things!” out of his head, and so render the “cash account” at his bankers all but nugatory. Then—“came the cry of immorality, so loudly raised by the Actor’s old rivals the Religious Tract Society, the Methodists, and other sectarian parties.” Yet, in spite of all that could be said or sung in the matter Pierce wrote that—“he was too game to be made a dummy of: therefore he was determined to take the leap, and have another “shy-up,” and go “double or quits,” with that supreme goddess of the gods FAME!!! and try his luck once more in the field of literature and announced the publication of his new work The Finish thus:—

The AUTHOR to the READERS of
LIFE
IN and OUT of LONDON.

After the lapse of Seven Years the Author has once more seized hold of the feather, and the Artist his pencil, with an earnest endeavour to follow the advice of our immortal bard, or rather adopt him as a model, “nothing to extenuate, or set down aught in malice!” and:—

To hold as ’twere
The Mirror up to Nature; to show Virtue her own feature,
Vice her own image, and the very age
And body of the Time, its form and pressure.

Then thus it is—the “glorious uncertainty” of pleasing every class of society respecting a knowledge of Life in London being essential towards the improvement of the junior branches of mankind; and although contrary to the established and sapient rules of the College of Physicians, and the practice pursued by our learned friends in Westminster Hall, we are, nevertheless, anxious to give advice without a fee, in order to prove that, in all cases, whether connected with youth or more mature age, Prevention is much better than Cure; indeed, so anxious are we to set ourselves right with the public, as to our future intentions respecting this work, and that we may see our way clearly, and tread on the firmest ground, we feel inclined to adopt the latin proverb so often quoted by Bob Logic to the unsuspecting Jerry, on his first arrival in the metropolis:—

Incidit in Scyllam qui vult vitare Charybdim.

The necessity is absolute; or, rather, an apology is required for the introduction of the Author and Artist to the notice of reader, previous to the second appearance of those heroes—Corinthian Tom, Logic and Jerry, on the great theatre of the world! pour quoi? to vindicate the characters of the Author and Artist from unmerited aspersion of having attempted, by the joint efforts of real tales, original anecdotes, and animated sketches, to demoralize the rising generation; and likewise to refute the charge of having turned the heads of older folks towards the commission of acts of folly and intemperance enough! To our task——“Hark forward’s the word, see the game is in view!” and our exertions will be vigorously directed to establish, if possible. “Tâche sans tâche.” Our principal aim being to realize, to the utmost extent, the attractive motto:—

Pro Bono Publico!
Proceed, my boy, nor heed their further call,
Vain his attempts who strives to please you all!

 

 

THE
FINISH TO THE ADVENTURES
OF
TOM, JERRY, AND LOGIC,
In their Pursuits through
Life In and Out of London,
BY PIERCE EGAN.

With numerous Coloured Illustrations by
Robert Cruikshank.



London:
George Virtue and Co.,
Ivy Lane,
Paternoster Row.

 

The Finish to Life in London is embellished with thirty six illustrations by Robert Cruikshank, and contains XV. Chapters of letter-press matter. Tom, Jerry and Logic are again brought on the scene, and several additional characters are introduced into the work, notably Sir John Blubber, Knt., a second Falstaff, without stuffing, a most facetious, jolly, good-natured soul, one of that class of persons deemed independent, and his property enabled him to “care for nobody.” The adventures of the personnæ in their pursuits of Life in and Out of London are fully described, and the “Finish!” of Logic, the Oxonian, and Corinthian Tom narrated as follow.

 

CHAPTER XIV.