1 This species of partial puffing is carried too far. It reminds me of something of a similar tendency, that panegerized a young Count who was killed by a Broad-Wheeled Waggon.
2 The intention of government was no doubt to consult as much as possible the convenience of the Officers; but, the arrangement was, and is, shameful, respecting their treatment when embarked and on board Transports. In the first instance, hurried to get on Board, they immediately find they have nothing to expect but a hard berth, the use of the Cabin, and Rations; no utensils to cook with, or to use; no person to cook for them; in short, all must depend on their individual exertion. Conceive a young Lad, without a servant, and with a scanty purse, thus situated, expecting a voyage of a month or six weeks’ continuance!
3 With respect to the Officers at Lisbon, who were there either on duty, or leave, or otherwise, the variety of their dress became at length so ridiculous that Major-General Peacock was obliged to issue a severe Order, restricting them to the use of the Regimental Great Coat, and Hat, or Cap.
Lord Wellington, in consequence of the heat of the weather, indulged the Officers in wearing loose Great Coats; but this was soon followed up with waistcoats of all sorts, and colours, with filagree gold, or silver buttons, and what were called Forage Caps, of all fancies and shapes. They only wanted the appendage of Bells.
4 All Officers under the rank of Field-Officer, on landing at Lisbon, were ordered to report themselves at the Town-Major’s Office, and were from thence sent to the Belem Depôt, to be disposed of by the Commandant there.
5 ‘No intende,’ in Portuguese, signifies ‘don’t understand.’
6 The Barracks at Belem were assigned as a general receptacle for Detachments coming from England, and all recovered Men. Captain Brown, of the 23rd Regiment (than whom no Officer could have managed the duties of Commandant more properly, reputably, and honourably), made the arrangements for the march of Parties to join the Army, apportioned the number of Officers; and gave them orders, and directions for their conduct. Sometimes he permitted Officers to proceed alone to join their Regiments, but generally they were attached to Parties.
One general Rout to the Army was established, and the distances so divided, and Depôts formed, that the parties could be provisioned every three or four Days; a Commandant, and Adjutant, with requisite non-commissioned officers, being established at each Depôt, together with a Commissariat and an Hospital; and though last, not, unfortunately, the least necessary, a Provost-Marshal.
7 At the commencement of the Campaign on the Peninsula, the Portuguese certainly treated the British Officers in the most generous manner,—voluntarily and hospitably received them into their Houses, and externally carried their liberality to great excess; giving up their most elegant Apartments, supplying them with a proportion of Plate, Linen, Fuel, and Wax Candles; but it is with regret that I am obliged to state that this indulgence and hospitality was, in many instances, scandalously abused, and the most ungentlemanlike, ungrateful, indecent, and ungenerous returns were often made. What was the consequence? So many complaints were made against the Officers for abusing their Billets, that a General Order was issued, stating the number of rooms each rank was entitled to, and restricting the quantum of Furniture to one Table, one Chair, and one Lamp, and an allowance of Oil for each Apartment, with the use of a Kitchen. The consequence follows, that whatever inconvenience, mortification, rudeness, or inhospitable treatment Officers have since experienced, results from the misconduct (I hope only comparatively) of a few. Circumstances in the outset may have imposed a sentiment on the Natives, perhaps rather foreign to their disposition; but the change of circumstances, and the conduct of our Officers, seem to have left a disposition in the Portuguese to treat us roughly, and to get rid of us altogether.
8 The opening of the Odoriferous Sluices generally commences about 9 o’clock P.M. and continues, without intermission, for about two hours, and woe to those unfortunates whose business, or pleasure, leads them forth during this display of Portuguese cleanliness!
There are certain regulations respecting this filthy outrage, such as requiring those people to call out three times, by way of warning the Foot-passenger of his danger, and the offenders are likewise liable to be called to some sort of reckoning; but the Laws, and the administration of the Laws, are altogether so defective, that it is very difficult to get redress, in cases in which robbery, or even murder, have been committed. Nay, I this moment see a Villain at large, who, without receiving any offence, but what he chose to consider one, on a young Officer’s looking at a Girl, actually followed him, and struck him from behind with a stick so heavily as to brake his arm. The fellow was taken up, and evidences produced, proving the fact: but he is protected by his master (a fidalgo, i.e. a gentleman), and at this moment insolently stares a British officer in the face.
9 It was customary for the British Officers who came to Lisbon for the purpose of joining the army, to provide themselves with a Mule or two, to carry their baggage. The only convenient opportunity to make this purchase was at a sort of fair, held every Tuesday in the lower part of the town. There, Horses, Mules, and Donkies were bought and sold; and, as in all Markets, the price chiefly depended on the demand. The Portuguese Horse-dealer has all the avidity of an English jockey to pick your pocket, but they are not so au fait at the business. At this Fair, you buy or sell your Animal. The bargain is struck, the Money paid, and the contract is indissoluble.
English Guineas, at that time, had no attraction. The Dollar, or Moidore, was the medium; but since the Guineas have been introduced in payment of the Army, the Portuguese seem to appreciate their value.
It was customary for Officers who wanted Cash to give their Draft on some House in London, &c. &c.; but it was purchasing Money very expensively, giving at the rate of six Shillings and Sixpence for a Dollar that would bring only five Shillings; thus losing eighteen-pence on every five Shillings.
10 The Portuguese greeting each other, embrace; a practice certainly strange to a Briton, and recollecting the effluvia of garlic, is horribly offensive.
11 Messrs. Smith and Co. opened a Warehouse of English goods, where an Officer might suit himself (paying rather dearly) with every article of wearing apparel, and furniture for the animals, &c.
12 The scarcity of forage rendered it necessary to curtail the quantity of animals allowed for the use of the army. This fell somewhat hard on Subaltern Officers, who were obliged so to contract their baggage as to deprive themselves of many articles actually necessary to their convenience. That something to wear—something to sleep on—something to eat—and something to cook with—were really necessary for existence; and only one miserable animal was allowed to carry what was so essential for two Subaltern Officers; but it was unfortunately the case.
13 Senhor Cavigole, as well as many others, Misters and Senhors, kept shops replete with stores of all sorts, which they sold at a very high price, but with which officers knew they must be supplied; for the hungry French had deprived the Portuguese of that little they possessed; and it did happen, and not unfrequently, that divisions had been so scantily supplied with rations, that even a private soldier has been known to give a Dollar for one biscuit, and glad to satisfy his hunger at that enormous rate.
14 The Juis de Fero is the Magistrate. The soldiers contracted the appellation to Jewish.
15 The Subaltern Officers, in the Portuguese service, were taken from very humble situations, and of course are not treated by their countrymen with the distinction and respect which British Officers claim; consequently, where Quarters or Billets are disposed according to rank, the Portuguese Alfares, or Ensigns, are thrust into any wretched hovel, and, from the ignorance of the country magistrates, the British Subaltern Officers were not unfrequently treated with as little ceremony: many of them were billeted in the most wretched, filthy, miserable dwellings, which among a race of people so excessively nasty in themselves, rendered the officers particularly uncomfortable.
16 Immediately in the vicinity of Lisbon, a person may contrive at the inns, or rather wine houses, to be somewhat better accommodated than at a Subaltern’s billet.
17 No disrespect is intended, but until one can ‘make a Silk Purse of a Sow’s ear,’ we must be content to submit to the ‘insolence of Office.’
THE MILITARY ADVENTURES
OF
JOHNNY NEWCOME
PART II