1. The fairy brought out from her cupboard a big book, and Tom and little Ellie read in the title-page, "The History of the Great and Famous Nation of the Do-as-you-likes, who came away from the Country of Hardwork, because they wanted to play on the Jew's-harp all day long."
2. In the first picture they saw these Do-as-you-likes living in the land of Ready-made, at the foot of the Happy-go-lucky Mountains, where flap-doodle grows wild; and if you want to know what that is, you must read "Peter Simple."
3. Instead of houses, they lived in the beautiful caves of tufa, and bathed in the warm springs three times a day; and, as for clothes, it was so warm there that the gentlemen walked about in little besides a cocked hat and a pair of straps, or some light summer tackle of that kind; and the ladies all gathered gossamer in autumn to make their winter dresses.
4. They were very fond of music, but it was too much trouble to learn to play the piano or violin; so they sat on ant-hills all day long and played on the Jew's-harp; and if the ants bit them, why they just got up and went to the next ant-hill, till they were bitten there also.
5. And they sat under the flapdoodle-trees, and let the flapdoodle drop into their mouths; and under the vines, and squeezed the grape-juice down their throats; and if any little pigs ran about ready roasted, crying "Come, and eat me," as was the fashion in that country, they waited till the pigs ran against their mouths, and then took a bite, and were content, just as so many oysters would have been.
6. They needed no weapons, for no enemies ever came near their land; and the stern old fairy Necessity never came near them to hunt them up, and make them use their wits or die. And so on, till there were never such comfortable, easy-going, happy-go-lucky people in the world.
7. "Well, that is a jolly life," said Tom. "You think so?" said the fairy. "Do you see that great peaked mountain there behind, with smoke coming out of its top?" "Yes." "And do you see those ashes, and slag, and cinders lying about?" "Yes." "Then turn over the next five hundred years, and you will see what happens."
8. And behold! the mountain had blown up like a barrel of gunpowder, and then boiled over like a kettle; whereby one third of the Do-as-you-likes were blown into the air, and another third were smothered in the ashes; so that there were only one third left. "You see," said the fairy, "what comes of living on a burning mountain."
9. "Oh, why did you not warn them?" said little Ellie. "I did warn them all I could. I let the smoke come out of the mountain, and wherever there is smoke there is a fire. And laid the ashes and cinders all about; and wherever there are cinders, cinders may be again. But they did not like to face facts, my dears, as few people do; and so they invented a cock-and-bull story, which, I am sure, I never told them, that the smoke was the breath of a giant, whom some god or other had buried under the mountain; and other nonsense of that kind. And when folks are in that humor I can not teach them, save by the good old birch-rod."
10. And then she turned over the next five hundred years; and there were the remnant of the Do-as-you-likes, doing as they liked, as before. They were too lazy to move away from the mountain; so they said, "If it has blown up once, that is all the more reason it will not blow up again." And they were few in number, but they only said, "The more the merrier, but the fewer the better fare."
11. However, that was not quite true; for all the flapdoodle-trees were killed by the volcano, and they had eaten all the roast pigs, who, of course, could not be expected to have little ones; so they had to live very hard, on nuts and roots which they scratched out of the ground. Some of them talked of sowing corn, as their ancestors used to do, before they came into the land of Ready-made, but they had forgotten how to make plows, and had eaten all the seed-corn which they had brought out of the land of Hardwork years since; and of course it was too much trouble to go away and find more. So they lived miserably on roots and nuts, and all the weakly little children had great stomachs, and then died.
12. "Why," said Tom, "they are growing no better than savages." "And look how ugly they are all getting!" said Ellie. "Yes; when people live on poor vegetables, instead of roast beef and plum-pudding, their jaws grow larger and their lips grow coarser, like the poor people who eat nothing but potatoes."
13. And she turned over the next five hundred years, and there they were all living up in trees, and making nests to keep off the rain. And underneath the trees lions were prowling about. "Why," said Ellie, "the lions seem to have eaten a good many of them, for there are very few left now!" "Yes," said the fairy, "you see it was only the strongest and most active ones who could climb the trees, and so escape." "But what great, hulking, broad-shouldered chaps they are!" said Tom; "they are as rough a lot as ever I saw."
14. And she turned over the next five hundred years. And in that they were fewer still, and stronger, and fiercer; but their feet had changed shape very oddly, for they laid hold of the branches with their great-toes, as if they had been thumbs, just as a Hindoo tailor uses his toes to thread his needle.
15. The children were very much surprised, and asked the fairy whether that was her doing. "Yes and no," she said, smiling. "It was only those who could use their feet as well as their hands who could get a good living; so they got the best of everything, and starved out all the rest." "But there is a hairy one among them," said Ellie. "Ah!" said the fairy, "that will be a great man in his time, and chief of all the tribe."
16. And when she turned over the next five hundred years, it was true. For this hairy chief had hairier children still. The climate was growing so damp that none but the hairy ones could live; all the rest coughed and sneezed, and had sore throats, and went into consumptions, before they could grow up into men and women.
17. Then the fairy turned over the next five hundred years. And they were fewer still. "Why, there is one on the ground picking up roots," said Ellie, "and he can not walk upright." No more he could; for, in the same way that the shape of their feet had altered, the shape of their backs had altered too. "Why," said Tom, "I declare they are all apes!"
18. "Something fearfully like it, poor, foolish creatures," said the fairy. "They are grown so stupid now, that they can hardly think; for none of them have used their wits for many hundred years. They have almost forgotten, too, how to talk. For each stupid child forgot some of the words it heard from its stupid parents, and had not wit enough to make fresh words for itself. Besides, they have grown so fierce and suspicious and brutal, that they keep out of each other's way, and mope and sulk in dark forests, never hearing each other's voice, till they have forgotten almost what speech is like. I am afraid they will all be apes very soon, and all be doing only what they liked."
19. And in the next five hundred years they were all dead and gone, by bad food and wild beasts and hunters; all except one tremendous old fellow with jaws like a jack, who stood full seven feet high; and M. du Chaillu came up to him and shot him, as he stood roaring and thumping his breast. And he remembered that his ancestors had once been men, and he tried to say, "Am I not a man and a brother?" but he had forgotten how to use his tongue; and then he had tried to call for a doctor, but he had forgotten the word for one. So all he said was "Ubboboo!" and died. And that was the end of the great and jolly nation of the Do-as-you-likes.