You have been told God’s plans in bringing all the little fish, plants, birds, animals and human babies into the world. You have enjoyed all these stories. We have not gone into detail in these talks. When you are older, if you desire you can study the laws of life more thoroughly. We have tried to satisfy your inquiring mind and lead you to see that God’s laws of increasing life are pure and sacred.
All these years you have been a little girl. You have been growing larger and wiser all the time. You have worn short dresses, loved your dolls, played with little boys and girls; you have been innocent, free from care, jolly and happy. You will be a girl for several years to come. You should not be in a hurry to get away from the joys, pleasures, and ways of girlhood. However, God has not planned for you to be a girl always. He has wisely planned for you to grow and change in body and mind, from a girl into a woman, that you may some day be a mother.
A review.—In previous talks we found that every little baby plant and animal had a father and a mother. We found that the pollen produced by the small organs of the flower had to unite with the seed formed by the mother organs, before a little plant could come into the world. We found among the animals that little eggs were formed by organs in the mother’s body, called ovaries, just as seed are formed by ovaries in the flowers. We also found that these little eggs formed by the mother organs could not become baby animals without the union of a life-giving substance from the father animals. In the higher animals, where the mother nurses her young with milk formed by the mother’s breasts, we find many resemblances to the lower animals, with some very interesting additions to the reproductive organs.
Among some of the lower animals, such, for example, as mussels and fish, no provision is made to nourish and feed their young; some, such as the bee, store up food in cells; while still others, such as the bird, provide food for the young for some days after they are hatched.
Mothers of the higher animals and man.—In the higher animals, the mother supplies her young with food for weeks or months after they are born, by means of organs called breasts or udders. These organs are not found among the lower animals. They are vitally associated with, and therefore a part of, the female organs of sex of the higher animals and man.
How mothers in the lower and higher forms of life differ.—Among the higher animals, the eggs are formed by ovaries, just as in the case of plants and the lower animals. Here we find another important addition to the female organs of sex. As soon as the egg is formed by the ovary it passes, by means of a duct called the fallopian tube, into a pear-shaped vessel called the uterus, or womb. Here, if the egg is fertilized by the male substance, it becomes attached to the wall of the womb. At this point of the womb, a cord is formed, containing a vein and artery, called the placenta. The placenta connects with the body of the young at a point called the navel. The forming young receives its air, food, and life through the cord from the mother’s blood.
There is a very close resemblance between the creative organs and their functions in the higher animals and man. We could not become fathers and mothers without these special organs of sex.
The essential female organs of sex.—These consist of ovaries, oviducts, womb, vagina and breasts. All these organs, except the breasts, are on the inside of the body—in the lower part of the abdomen.
In a mature woman the (1) ovaries, two in number, are small almond-shaped glands just below the navel and are four or five inches apart, one located in the left side of the body and the other in the right. The ovaries are enveloped in a broad, thin, strong membrane and connect with the upper part of the (2) womb by slender cords called (3) oviducts.
Location and function of the ovaries.—There takes place in every girl, when she is from twelve to fifteen, a remarkable change, called puberty, or adolescence. From this time on, until she is forty to forty-five years old, there will be formed in one of the ovaries every four weeks a tiny egg, or ovum. The ovum is less than 1/120 of an inch in diameter. When this little egg breaks through the membrane of the ovary, it would drop down into the cavity of the body were it not for a most wonderful provision. The oviducts, or, as they are often called, the fallopian tubes, are ducts connected with the upper part of the womb, are three inches in length and have finger-like ends. When the little egg breaks through the membrane of the ovary, the little fingers of the oviducts close about the ovary and receive the little egg which then enters the tiny mouth of the oviduct and is conveyed through its small cavity to the womb.
The location and function of the womb and vagina.—The womb, or uterus, is located midway between the ovaries on the right and left, and between the bladder in front and the rectum behind. The ovaries and the womb are supported near the center of the abdomen by means of cords and muscles stretched across from the walls of the abdomen. The womb is a pear-shaped muscular organ with the small end pointing downward, and in a matured woman is three inches in length, two inches in width and with walls one-half inch thick. The cavity of the womb is small and has three openings, two near the top leading into the oviducts and one at the bottom opening into the (4) vagina. It will be seen from the cut that the lower end of the womb dips into the upper end of the vagina about one inch. This part of the womb is called the (5) os uteri, or mouth of the womb. The vagina in a grown woman is from four to six inches in length, of firm but very elastic tissue. It aids in holding the womb in position, serves as a passageway for the menstrual fluid to pass from the body, and has other purposes that will be mentioned in another chapter.
The breasts.—The form and position of the (6) breasts, or mammary glands, being known to you, it is not necessary for me to describe them here. Through the nerves they are closely related to the other sexual organs. With the approach of puberty they make considerable growth. However, it is not common for a girl’s breasts to develop to any considerable size before she is married. When she becomes a mother, the hundreds of tiny glands in her breasts form milk from her blood with which to nourish her child.
The creative energy.—From the dawning of puberty, all through life, day and night, asleep and awake, the breasts and other sexual organs are generating an energy that is being distributed throughout her entire being. It is this energy that helps to develop the girl into perfect womanhood. If the breasts and ovaries of a small girl could be painlessly and skillfully removed without injury to any part of her body, she would not develop into perfect womanhood in other respects. This experiment proves that these organs are secreting an energy that is necessary in developing and maintaining an ideal womanhood.
Information concerning the external organs.—The word vulva is the name of the lower external female organs of sex. It is composed of the following parts: (1) The labia majora are the outer and larger lips or folds; (2) The labia minora are the smaller and more concealed lips; (3) The mons Veneris is the prominent, eminence formed by fatty tissue situated just in front and above the labia majora; (4) The hymen is a very thin membrane which partly closes the opening to the vagina; (5) The clitoris is a small organ of an erectile structure and is the site of passion in the female. This organ is situated near the upper and front part of the opening into the vagina and between the folds of the labia minora. Connected with this organ is a small tough membrane or ligament called the frenum which corresponds to the frenulum of the male. Sometimes, though rarely, this is short and tight or broad and hooded. When this is the case the parts become irritated at times causing sex consciousness and passion; and when it does the girl will rub or scratch these organs. If she does this often she will become conscious of a sense of pleasure. She will then handle the organs for the purpose of producing this pleasure. In this way a girl will learn a vicious habit, the nature and effects of which we will study in another talk. While only a few girls have this trouble, it is very necessary that the causes be removed. Should you find yourself frequently rubbing these organs you should speak to mamma about it.
Confidential advice.—In the mucous membrane of these external organs of sex are thousands of little glands that secrete a foul, filthy substance called smegma. If this is not removed frequently with a damp cloth, it will irritate these organs and produce an offensive odor.
If you should discover that you are frequently scratching those organs, or have an unnatural feeling, you should consult your mamma for advice. Your health, happiness, life and character are, to a considerable extent, based on these organs’ being natural and normal.
An interesting change in a girl’s life.—In the previous talk, we found that God has planned for a most interesting change to take place in a girl’s life. This change from girlhood to womanhood, called puberty, and covering a period of eight years, is brought about by certain changes in the sexual organs. At birth these organs are inactive and remain so until the girl, in this climate, is thirteen or fourteen years of age. In the Southern states it occurs a year sooner. In Central America, puberty comes when the girl is ten and eleven. In Canada this change comes a year later than here. Thus we see that climatic conditions either hasten or retard this change. In climates where puberty is delayed to the fourteenth and fifteenth years, girls are healthier, more energetic and live longer than in warm climates. This would indicate that the longer puberty is delayed in a girl’s life, if she is otherwise healthy, the better for her. If the girl keeps company with wild girls, enjoys obscene jokes, reads cheap novels, entertains impure thoughts or handles her sexual organs, she may cause puberty to come on six months sooner than it naturally would come—a misfortune indeed for her. In a few girls, especially those who develop rapidly, puberty may occur in the eleventh year.
Signs of puberty.—During this period of puberty, or adolescence, which usually lasts for eight years, she is changing from a girl to a woman. This is one of the most important events in a girl’s life. The approach of this period is usually heralded by an uneasy feeling in the small of the back, heaviness about the ovaries, sometimes by headaches and possibly by pains in other parts of the body. One of the ovaries has formed a little egg or ovum. A flow of mucus tinged with blood, formed by the mucous membrane of the womb, passes from the body by way of the vagina. This usually lasts about four days. Meanwhile the ovum is conveyed by the fallopian tube to the womb where, after the flow has ceased, it remains several days, before passing from the body by way of the vagina.
Menstruation.—The discharge is called the menstrual fluid. If the girl is healthy, this will occur once each lunar month, or every twenty-eight days. It is for this reason that the flow is called menstruation. This word comes from the Latin word “mensis,” meaning a month. This monthly experience is known by several names, “Menses,” “periods,” “courses,” and “unwell.” The doctors use the term “Menses,” and this is doubtless the best one to use.
How made regular and painless.—When a girl has good health, does not expose herself so as to take colds, dresses so as not to compress her body and push these organs out of their proper place, takes plenty of outdoor exercise, keeps her mind pure and free from ugly thoughts, and does not abuse her sexual organs, she will be regular in her menses and will feel but little inconvenience or pain. Experience shows that just in proportion as a girl fails to follow the rules I have just stated, will her menses be irregular and painful.
Physical, mental and moral changes.—It will be noticed in the first stages of puberty that the limbs are growing larger and more shapely, the shoulders are growing backward and downward, the chest is expanding, the breasts are enlarging, the skin is becoming more delicate and rosy, the hips are growing broader, the hair is growing thicker, longer and more glossy, and the voice is developing richer tones. With all these physical changes that are taking place, the mental and moral natures are changing as well. The girl will now take a keener interest in society, and in mental and moral matters. These changes show that the developing sex life is making a woman of the girl.
The charms of womanhood.—This new life is making her attractive, lovable, sociable, brilliant and attractive. This new life adds very much to the natural charms of a girl, making the naturally beautiful girl more beautiful and the homely girl more attractive. The girl with a “doll face,” and weak in her sexual nature, will not be as attractive as the more homely girl whose normal sexual life has given her these personal charms of a healthy, strong womanhood.
When you see or feel the first signs of this change, consult your mamma, and she will give you directions and advice about how to care for your person during the menses. This is a perfectly natural experience that all girls have. It indicates that the special organs are developing and preparing for motherhood. Menstruation is not a disease; it is a natural function. Girls should be proud of this new accession to their girlhood. Health, happiness, and beauty of womanhood and the sacred function of motherhood, which will one day declare them the sweetest and holiest of God’s creatures are vitally related to this function. Girls with perfect health, who are usefully and happily employed, who entertain no base ideas of this function and who pay no special attention to it, experience little or no pain and little flow.
Meaning of menstruation.—Ovulation and menstruation usually occur about the same time. Ovulation consists in the formation of an ovum or egg by one of the ovaries once a month. Without the formation of the ovum motherhood would not be possible. Menstruation consists of a flow of bloody mucus formed by the velvety lining of the womb. This has the effect of purifying a woman’s blood and preparing the womb to receive the ovum. After this change first takes place several years will be required before she is old enough to marry and raise a family. Until she is married, the ovum each month lingers in the womb a few days and then passes out. When she is married, if she and her husband are strong and healthy, at the close of some menstrual period a cell from the husband will unite with one of these little eggs, which will become attached to the velvety walls of the womb, the door to the womb will close, and this beginning life will grow for two hundred and eighty days, when the door of the womb will open and a little baby will be born into the home.
Early Adolescence.—You are now entering upon that period of a girl’s life known as the adolescence period. You are now passing from girlhood to womanhood. This period will be about seven to eight years long. The first four years will be the most important years of your life. This is true for many reasons. During this period you will be largely a girl and partly a woman. The mind of the girl that was and the woman that you will be, will occasionally cause you to have confusing experiences. You will have many new and strange feelings, emotions, impulses. During these years you will need the advice of those older than yourself.
New social desires.—One of the new experiences you will have, will be the desire for social privileges. You will want a little girl chum. This is perfectly natural. God has given you a social nature. You should cultivate your social gifts. This will enlarge your happiness and usefulness.
Why a girl wants a chum.—The reason small girls desire chums is because the new sex life stimulates and awakens the social nature. This is a period in a girl’s life when she is especially interested in things romantic and sensational. Girls naturally choose their special chums, and it is so easy for them to engage in conversation that they would not want their mothers to hear. This sensational friendship might lead to exaggeration, disobedience, and the secret meetings with other girls or boys. It is not hard for a mother to see how her daughter might become thoughtless, rash, indiscreet and be overtaken in some very great wrong.
A girl needs two chums.—In this period of life little girls need two chums, her mother and a girl friend. She will often need her mother’s advice in the choice of a girl chum.
Choosing the right chum.—If you wish to have one or more girl friends, you should exercise great care in your choice. If you find a girl inclined to exaggeration, to use by-words, to use improper language while talking about her boy friends, to desire secret meetings with boys, however attractive she may be, you should not be chummy with her. To form intimate friendship with such girls would be a great risk. You will find it safest always to be chaste, sincere and dignified in conversation, even with a girl chum. This does not mean that you should not have innocent fun.
The wise girl.—The wise girl will take her mother into her confidence and ask for advice in the choice of her chum. Mamma will always appreciate the opportunity to be to you a chum, a friend, a companion and a mother.
Organs of sex can be abused.—In other talks we learned the names, position and functions of the different parts of the female form. In this lesson we will study one of the abuses of the organs, and the effects. In childhood, youth and middle and old age the organs of sex may be abused in several ways. If girls knew their delicate nature and their sacred mission, I am sure they would never abuse these organs. The more delicate and sacred an organ is, the more serious will be the penalty following its abuse. The abuse of these most delicate organs of the body results in poor health, poor development, much suffering, and should the victims marry, their children would be puny, sickly and short-lived. The bearing of strong, healthy, beautiful, playful children is woman’s highest mission. It is for this reason that girls should understand the nature and functions of these organs and the results of abusing them.
The secret sin—how learned.—The special abuse we shall consider at this time is one that small girls are liable to learn or to have taught them by companions or servants. This habit has several names. It is called the “secret sin,” or “secret vice,” for the reason that every organ of the body, faculty of the mind and power of the soul is abused by it; “self-pollution,” because it is filthy; or “masturbation,” which comes from two words meaning the abuse of the body with the hand. This abuse consists in rubbing or handling the sexual organs so as to excite them and bring on a feeling of pleasure. Usually this vice is taught a girl by some companion. If a girl does not keep these parts clean, they become irritated and she will be disposed to rub or scratch them. In this way she would likely awaken a sense of pleasure and finally discover the vice. It sometimes occurs, not often, that a small ligament or membrane, called the frenum, is too short or broad, and this causes irritation and leads a girl to discover the secret vice. If you should find yourself inclined to rub those parts often, you should mention it to mamma. A girl may, by pressing this part of her body against some object, or by sitting with her feet underneath her, with the sole or heel of a shoe pressing or rubbing against these organs, discover this vice.
What you should not do.—From these illustrations you will learn that you should never handle or rub these organs except to wash and keep them clean. When you study these organs with a view to understanding them, or when you think of their sacred functions, these mental relations to these organs never do them harm. But when you entertain thoughts about them that you would not be willing to express to your mother; when you read an immoral book, look upon an obscene picture or engage in improper conversation about these organs, then these mental states cause the blood to rush to these organs and sex consciousness and passion follow. A girl cannot keep from the secret sin if she permits her mind to engage in wrong thinking.
The moral effect of the sin.—Perhaps the first effect of this sin is to be seen in the moral nature. The expression in the girl’s face often indicates that she is conscious of wrong doing. She will likely become irritable, peevish and disobedient. She will not take the interest in prayer, the Bible, good books and the church she once did.
The mental effects.—The constant excitement of the organs of sex leads to many forms of nerve trouble. The mind becomes sluggish and stupid. Memory fails and sometimes the poor victim becomes insane. This habit leads to a gloomy, despondent, discouraged state of mind. One does not longer enjoy life. Because of this mental state many commit suicide.
The physical effects.—Perhaps the most noticeable effects of this vice are to be found in the physical system. The eyes become hollow and lusterless, complexion sallow, cheeks haggard, lips and ears pale, muscles soft and flabby, the breasts shrink, the bodily form is stooped and weak. Every time the life-giving blood is caused by this sin to rush in undue quantities to these organs, it returns to the heart with less of life and more impurities. Such girls will grow up to be weak, puny women and will suffer from dyspepsia, consumption and nervous troubles. If you have learned to misuse these organs, you must determine that you will never do it again. By keeping the mind pure and never abusing these organs you will develop a healthy and perfect body, a bright and cheerful mind, a charming, winning personality, and live to be useful and happy.
Two letters from young women.—From a large number of letters received from young ladies who have heard the author’s lectures or read his books, the following letters are added to this chapter. A big-hearted man in Canada gave 500 copies of Perfect Manhood to that number of young men. Fortunately, a young woman who was greatly in need of help, read one of these books. These letters tell the sad story of thousands, whom the author is anxious to help.
First Letter.—
——M—, Canada.
Dear Professor:
You will doubtless be surprised at receiving a letter from a young lady of twenty-seven, on a very delicate subject. Recently, I read one of your books, “Perfect Manhood,” presented by a friend to my brother. It was a great revelation to me. I wish I could have read it when I was twelve. When eleven, I was taught the secret sin by older girls. I continued the habit until I read your book. I never received one word of instruction about this vice from parents, teachers, or physicians. When twenty, I became an invalid. For one year I was placed in a hospital and treated by eminent specialists. I improved much. When I was twenty-four, my mind failed me and I was placed in a private institution. I am now very gloomy, despondent and I constantly dread a return of mental trouble.
I will greatly appreciate the favor if you can give me some additional advice and help. Please help me if you can.
Most sincerely,
——
Some four times a year, for three years, I received a letter from her. For eighteen months her letters indicated a hard-fought battle, small victories and a strong determination to win out. Each succeeding letter indicated greater victories. In her last letter she assured me that her womanhood had been restored and that she was entertaining a marriage proposition from a worthy and very superior young man.
Professor T. W. Shannon, City.
Dear Sir: I heard your lecture this afternoon and am now going to write for help and advice. First, I shall tell you the story.
Like most children, I began quite early in childhood to ask about my origin, and received answers that were falsehoods. I do not remember just what I was first told, but the replies given did not satisfy my enquiring mind. I eagerly listened to the vulgar stories of servants and schoolmates and before I was twelve years old my mind was taken up with lascivious thoughts and vulgar expressions.
Two months before I was thirteen, I was taught how to practice that awful habit, the secret sin. I became a slave to it. I could not stop. In the spring after I was fourteen I was converted. Again I tried, oh so hard, to quit this habit, but I could not. My mind was filled with those ugly words and I could not expel them. This sin is still troubling me and I can’t get rid of it. Oh, I would give anything if I could.
Now, I am away from home attending college, and I know that my parents (especially mamma) are worried. They fear that I, being young, and, as they think, ignorant of all these things, may bring disgrace to them.
Last winter a friend gave me a book entitled, “Letters of Love to Our Girls,” but mamma and papa hid it. I asked them why they did so. I received the answer, “It is a book that no married person should read, let alone a young girl.”
I have a little sister nine years old. For four years she has often asked questions about the origin of animals. When a colt is born or a calf, or kitten, or pigs, she always asks the same question. “Where did Dolly find her colt? Where did Lily find her calf?” etc., and they always put her off with some falsehood.
Please advise me how I may be able to rid myself of this habit.
Yours in earnest,
——
I gave her the following advice:
“Dear Friend:
Your letter received. In reply, I am glad you had the courage to ask for advice and to state facts so frankly.
Your trouble began with your false training in childhood. If you had been taught the sacredness of the sexual organs and their functions, your mind would have been safeguarded against this vice. Instead, you received the very opposite information. Half-truths, clothed in vulgar language, received from the ignorant and vicious, lead naturally to a morbid interest in matters of sex and consequently to a habit of lascivious thinking. Impure thinking causes the blood to rush to the sexual organs. The inflamed and gorged condition, due to this rush of blood to these parts, results in frequent experiences of sex consciousness and passion. This leads very naturally to the handling of the organs of sex.
That you may clearly understand the relation of the mind to the secret sin, and what you must do if you would break from it, I will use the following illustration: Suppose that you have been at hard work for five or six hours and have had nothing to eat during the time. You now come into the presence of a well-spread table, or a basket full of luscious fruit. You must wait ten minutes for others to take their places at the table. You become quite conscious of hunger; you remember how the kinds of food taste, how you have enjoyed them before, and you are eager to begin eating. These mental states cause the blood to rush to the salivary glands. They are stimulated to unusual activity. Under these conditions the saliva flows rapidly. Just at this moment, something unusual occurs. The blinding flash of lightning followed quickly by a deafening peal of thunder. Looking out you see some limbs falling from a nearby tree. You run to the window and for ten minutes your attention is wholly called from the thought of food. Now the saliva is flowing just fast enough to keep your mouth pleasantly moist. Excitement over, you again become interested in the food, hunger returns, you begin once more to entertain pleasant thoughts about the food, blood rushes to the mouth and the salivary glands are stimulated and the saliva is formed many times faster than when your mind was wholly engaged in the exciting scene a few minutes before.
When you allow your mind to entertain impure thoughts and words, the blood rushes to the genital organs and they become inflamed, resulting in passion. Now your victory over this habit will come just as fast as you can learn to get control of your mind in these matters. This is not done in a day. For five or six years you have allowed your mind to entertain wrong thoughts. In this way you have brought about a condition in which the slightest suggestions relating to sex, any pressure or friction of clothing or irritation of parts causes the blood to rush to these organs apparently without your willing it. This will gradually cease as you begin to get control of your mind.
There are several things that will help you. When you are tempted to entertain impure thoughts or to practice the sin, immediately engage your mind in something else. Pray, read the Bible or some good book, write a letter to mamma or some friend, perform some duty or take a walk, anything that will take your mind from the temptation. Refuse to handle these organs except to keep them clean. Bathing the parts in cold water tends to allay passion. If you have in your possession any suggestive pictures or questionable literature, destroy them. Cultivate the habit of looking upon every young man as you would upon your brother or father.
One of the most common effects of this habit is discouragement, gloominess, despondency. These mental states must be overcome. Constantly a firm “I will break from this habit,” “I will have only pure thoughts.” Don’t chide and condemn yourself any more because of the errors of the past. God has mercifully and lovingly forgiven them and graciously offers to give you strength and grace with which to win the battles of the future. Hopefully, cheerfully and bravely face the future. You may occasionally meet with defeat. If so, try again. No lasting defeat can come to one who keeps on trying. Victory will crown the persistent effort.
We often help ourselves by helping others. You are only one of the many girls who have had a similar experience. The battles you are fighting in your life will enable you to be a blessing to other weak ones.
If I can be of any help to you in the future, write me. If this letter helps you in any small degree to win a victory, pass the blessing on to another.
“Very sincerely,
“T. W. S.”
The social nature.—You are now of an age when you will appreciate a heart to heart talk on the social relations of small girls and boys. God gave to us our social natures. It is our social nature that leads us to desire new acquaintances, to be with old friends, to be in large gatherings of people, and to have special friends. A reasonable amount of social activity is essential to our well-being. Most of our real pleasure in life grows out of our relation to society. Genuine innocent pleasure is nature’s greatest tonic. Innocent games, a big romp, a good laugh, all help to develop the body, prolong life and increase one’s usefulness. Plays, games, a good time, should form a large part of childhood. The boy’s masculine nature leads him often to prefer games that require strength, endurance and daring. The girl’s feminine nature leads her often to prefer games that require less of strength, endurance and danger. It is for this reason that boys enjoy games of football and baseball and girls enjoy their dolls, tennis and croquet.
Boys and girls should play together.—While boys prefer to play with boys much of the time and girls prefer to play with girls much of the time, yet their opposite natures lead them to enjoy being with each other in conversation and games. In most homes and communities, boys and girls are nearly equally divided as to number. This would indicate that God planned for boys and girls to be much with each other.
The sex and social nature.—God has given us a sexual nature as well as a social nature. If boys and girls have not learned bad language, engaged in impure thoughts or formed habits of vice, they have been rarely conscious of their sex nature before the dawning of puberty. After puberty the organs of sex are generating a sex life that results in occasional sex consciousness. This is not an injury, not a sin. If we keep our minds pure, avoid everything that would excite these organs, this new sex life will make wonderful changes in every organ of the body, faculty of the mind and power of the soul. The consciousness of sex, or what may be correctly called passion, simply means that we are in possession of creative energy. By keeping the mind pure, taking plenty of physical exercise, mental study and sympathizing with and loving everybody, this sex life will be built into the muscles and brain tissue, giving strength of body, brilliancy of mind and warmth of soul. The developing sex life is slowly and gradually preparing them for fatherhood and motherhood. This preparation is not completed until they are matured. The girl does not mature until she is about twenty and the boy until he is about twenty-four. During the eight years of adolescence for the girl and ten for the boy, she is gradually passing out of girlhood into womanhood and he from boyhood into manhood. During the first half of these periods, she is more girl than woman, he is more boy than man. During these early years the boy may be a manly boy and the girl a womanly girl, but they are still children. They should still play together without any thought of being sweethearts. It is natural for a girl to admire one boy more than she does another because he is gallant, kind and manly. For like reasons, it is natural for small boys to admire one girl more than another. Occasionally these little experiences of admiration take on the more serious form of love. If older people do not encourage or tease them their little spasms of love will soon disappear. It is best for boys and girls not to think of each other as sweethearts and lovers until they are nearer matured.
The “boy-struck” girl and the “girl-struck” boy.—They range in age from ten to twenty. They excite the pity of some, the disgust of others and the love and appreciation of none. They will carry on an insane or ridiculous conversation over the phone for an hour, or stand on the street corner and engage in the most silly nonsense. He is usually a cigarette-smoking nonentity and she a simpering, giggling, flirting, amusing imitation of what she would like to be. In the schoolroom they pass notes and receive low grades. She carries her dressing to the extreme limit of idiocy, disfiguring her body and ruining her health. As she grows older she takes lonely midnight strolls and buggy rides. It will be a miracle if the “boy-struck” girl does not fall. Even if she does not fall into disgrace, it will be difficult for her to regain her self-respect and the confidence of her neighbors.
Confidential social advice.—While the association of boys and girls is natural, enjoyable, and has its blessings, it is not without its temptations and dangers. Passion should never be aroused. In associating with boys, girls should be very careful in regard to their dress. They should not wear dresses that unnecessarily expose their breasts or limbs; they should never use a word or expression that would suggest wrong thoughts to their boy friends; they should never go off alone with boys; and they should never permit a boy to hold their hands, pinch their arms, play with their hair, hug or kiss them. All these things tend to arouse passion in a way and to an extent exceedingly dangerous.
A class of dangerous boys.—It will be well for you to remember that many boys are very wicked. Poor boys! In many cases they have not been trained to be polite, kind, and pure. They have no idea how sinful it is to use obscene language, to be immodest, and by these methods to seek to ruin the character and life of a girl. Such boys would rather ruin a girl than be president. Girls should be careful not to associate with this class of boys.
The true, the pure boys.—Some boys are as innocent and pure as most girls are. Good boys and young men who have been well trained are always kind, courteous, brave, true, and pure. Association with this class of boys is always helpful.
Girlhood comes but once.—Don’t be in a hurry to grow into womanhood. Be a joyful, playful, happy little girl just as long as you can. Of course you will not want to play or be with your friends all the time, or even most of the time. You will be in school much of the time. You will want to spend some time on your music, in learning how to make your clothing, how to care for the bedrooms, and how to cook. You will wish to form high ideals and gain inspiration from reading books of travel, of history, some fiction of high moral and literary tone, biographies of great and good people, the best magazines and, of course, you will not leave the Bible out of your daily reading.
A girl’s vanity.—When girls reach the age of fifteen and sixteen their personal interest in personal beauty is apparent. Their frequent use of the mirror, a mania for primping: poring over such glaring headlines as, “Become Beautiful,” “Don’t be Fat,” “Be Plump,” “Beautiful Dresses, a Woman’s crown of Glory,” “Cure for Pimples and Black-heads,” found in the papers and magazines, all indicate a girl’s interest in being beautiful.
There are two kinds of beauty.—Physical beauty and intellectual and spiritual beauty. Not all can have the first, but all can have the latter. The first, unfortunately, may be a source of temptation and danger; the latter, fortunately, a blessing. Physical homeliness, entire or in part, may be outgrown, or cured by hygienic living and judicious treatment, or it may be over-shadowed by the possession of lovely traits of character.
Beauty and the sex nature.—No young woman, however beautiful physically, can develop a charming, attractive personality unless she possesses a normal sex nature. This end may be achieved by maintaining a hopeful, cheerful and perfectly chaste state of mind and perfect freedom from all habits of vice. In this way the vital energy of womanhood can be easily directed so as to carry life and health to every organ and part of the body.
Puberty pimples.—Soon after the dawning of puberty, many girls are troubled with pimples. They usually appear on the face, often only on the forehead. The back may be affected in the same way. They usually last two, three or more years and resist every effort to remove them. The girl had just as well make up her mind to endure them until nature takes them away. It was once thought that they were evidences of the practice of the secret vice. In some cases this is true. But in most cases they are inseparable from the early years of puberty.
Treatment.—By following certain simple rules this trouble may be very much reduced. Avoid eating highly seasoned foods and rich pastries. Take plenty of open-air exercise. Massage the face with the hands, using a good quality of absorbent cream. If cold baths are begun in the summer time, so as not to shock the system, this is very valuable. During the menses, plenty of warm water should be used. Absolute cleanliness will prevent many forms of female troubles.
How to correct some kinds of homeliness.—Stringy, greasy or dull hair may be made a crown of beauty by scrupulous care, tasteful arrangement and the use of suitable decorations.
Where the bodily form is too thin or too fat, or scrawny and angular, correct habits of eating and exercise are the natural remedies. Very thin persons will usually gain flesh by taking open-air exercise and eating nutritious food. Fleshy persons can usually reduce their flesh by eating two meals a day, eating a less nutritious diet and by taking more exercise. If this advice is introduced gradually no inconvenience will be noticed.
A substitute for physical beauty.—There are some forms of physical irregularities, such as prominent ears, large and irregular teeth; a receding chin or forehead; thick or thin lips; a long or ill-shaped mouth; small, expressionless eyes; a large, flat or pug nose, none of which can be remedied by the advice given. She must develop the truest form of beauty—a charming, winsome personality, a lovely character. She will then possess a charm that cannot be excelled by any physical queen of beauty, and that she may retain long after the glow of physical loveliness has faded.
Some “musts” and “must-nots.”—She must cease frowning and learn to smile; she must repress anger and resentment, and turn the other cheek; she must not seek favors, but discover the joy of bestowing blessings on others; she must intensely interest herself in everything that will stimulate and develop the intellect, expand the soul and enlarge her spiritual vision; she must revel in the sweetest strains of music and the most bewitching beauties of art and nature. By following this advice, the naturally beautiful girl will add a new charm to her attractiveness, and the homely girl will transform her defects into seeming beauties and develop the indefinable loveliness of a beautiful character.
The importance of fatherhood.—In the past we have written, talked and sung of the duties, responsibilities, faithfulness, sacrifice and love of motherhood. Is there any reason why the father should have less of these sacred parental qualities than the mother? Did not God in his early revelations to his chosen people honor fatherhood as much as motherhood in his relation to the training of children? In no other way has God bestowed larger capacity, power, honor and responsibility upon man than when he made him capable of fatherhood. Fatherhood—the giving of life to another—makes man a co-worker with God in the creation of human beings. This creative relation to children gives dignity, sacredness and immeasurable responsibility to fatherhood.
The father is the son’s natural teacher.—If a man at the head of a home is to measure up to the full meaning of fatherhood, he must assume the responsibility of teaching purity and sex truths to his boy, instead of leaving him to get his primary sex culture from the playground; his preparatory sex enlightenment from the street; and his complete course of sex education from the saloon, the gambling house and the brothel, where the moral atmosphere is saturated with all that is vicious and polluting; where the vilest pictures are to be seen, vilest conversation is to be heard and the vilest associations are to be formed.
The wise father looks after less important phases of his son’s education.—If his son decides to be a farmer, he tells him all he knows about farming and sends him to an agricultural college. If he decides to practice medicine, he tells him all he knows about medicine and sends him to a medical college. His interest in his son would lead him to follow this plan should he choose some other calling or profession. Compared to the education, training and development of a boy in relation to the teaching of purity and sex truths, all other training pales into insignificance. The boy can just as easily become a successful farmer without a knowledge of agriculture, horticulture and stock-raising; he can as easily become a successful physician without a knowledge of medicine; he can as easily become a successful lawyer without a knowledge of laws, as he can develop into a pure, virile manhood without a correct knowledge of his sex nature. Since half truths are often more injurious than ignorance, and since the enfolding sex life of a boy demands information, and since he will get this information true or false, it logically follows that correct sex education is the only safe method to be followed in the complete education of the boy.
The father who holds to unethical ideals.—The father who holds to or practices the double standard of morals is not qualified to teach these truths to his son. If he believes that it is a smaller sin for his son to be immoral than for his daughter; if he believes in the “sex necessity lie” for his son and absolute virginity for his daughter; if he uses vulgar words or indulges in lascivious stories, he is disqualified for this sacred duty of a father. Recently I lectured in a town of several thousand inhabitants where the mayor boasted of taking his seventeen-year-old son to St. Louis and introducing him to an immoral life. Such a father’s influence on his own son is a withering, paralyzing, blighting curse. The sons of such beastly sires are to be pitied.
The model father.—I assume that I am now addressing a model father, one who, at least, desires to be a worthy example and a wise teacher and trainer of his son. The model father should not only be pure in outward life, but he should regard the organs of sex and their functions as pure and sacred, he should possess a fair knowledge of sex and be able to use only pure language in his confidential talks with his son. I am fully aware that very few fathers have had an opportunity to hear a series of lectures or to read a good book on these lines that would help them perform this duty. The mission of this book is to aid and inspire every sincere father in his duty of supplying his son with these truths.
How to proceed.—This is not a difficult problem to the young father who is fairly well informed and who has strong convictions of his duty. He can start with his son, as soon as he asks about his origin, and tell him the stories of life, six months or a year apart, and continue to give him such information as his developing boyhood and manhood demand. But to the uninformed father, out in middle life, aroused for the first time to the great need of this teaching and to his personal responsibility to his boys ranging from five to twenty years old, this is not an easy problem. In this case I would suggest that, if possible, he should avail himself of hearing a good course of lectures, and buy for himself a practical and complete book on sex for himself and smaller books adapted to the age and sex of his children. If he has a boy from five to eight years old, begin by telling him the story of how plants are brought into the world. If he has a boy ten to fifteen, I would advise that he put in his hands a book containing stories of life from plants to man and encourage him to read it. If there is real companionship between the father and son, a better plan would be for them to read the book together and talk with each other. When this is done and a few days have passed the father should give him a book containing such information as a boy from ten to fourteen should know. And if proper companionship exists, they should read this book and talk over its revelations together. When this is done the boy should be encouraged to talk over any personal problem he may have. It would be well for the father to inquire of his son, if he has any irritation or soreness in his sexual organs, if the prepuce is capable of passing back and if the frenulum is too short. The boy should understand that he will be welcomed at any time to return with his problems and to ask for information.
If he has a boy over fifteen he should be presented with a book that covers the problems of a young man. If there is a companionable relation between the father and his son, it would be well for them to read and talk over the revelations of this book. The son should be encouraged to ask questions and to talk about his personal problems.
When should a boy be informed of the secret sin?—In no case should this be postponed until a boy is twelve. Out of one thousand of the young men who have read “Perfect Manhood” and in that way were lead to write me about their troubles not one in twenty-five learned the habit after he was twelve, many commenced when they were eight and ten, a few when five and six, one stating that so far as he knew he was born practicing the vice.
Lecturing to nearly one hundred thousand young men a year and having several thousand a year to interview me, in this way the conclusion from my correspondence is confirmed. When a boy is fourteen he should be given a more complete talk on the nature and effects of the secret sin. If he is found to be guilty he should be induced to break off. If his sexual desire is due to a tight prepuce, this should be treated by the family physician. If due to a tight frenulum, this requires the attention of a doctor. As a rule his sexual excitement grows out of a mind that has been filled with lascivious thoughts from some schoolmate or servant. This can be corrected by satisfying the boy’s morbid curiosity with the truth and a faithful warning of the dangers of this vice.
Fathers should not be suspicious but watchful.—A wise father will have a frank, positive understanding with every servant in the home and employee on the farm, or in his business, that he is not to encourage vice by vulgar conversation, vicious practice, or by presenting the child with a vile book or showing him a lude picture. Keep an eye on the little visitors—and the big ones too. There are in circulation some most inconceivable immoral books that teach children every phase of sex perversion. I recently secured such a book and it was estimated by the school board that two hundred or more boys from twelve to sixteen had read it. Only a few months ago the president of a female college living in the girls’ dormitory told me of how one of the college girls had introduced his three-year-old boy to the vice. About the same time and in the same State, an editor said to me, “Professor, you don’t realize the temptations to which the small Southern boy is exposed in his relation to the colored help about the home.” A wise father will be on the guard from the time his boy has quit the cradle until he has passed safely through the stormy period of adolescence.
Trees are grown-up sprouts; dogs are grown-up pups; horses are grown-up colts; and men are grown-up boys. A crooked, scarred sprout will produce an ugly, useless tree; a starved, neglected and abused pup will grow up to be a cowardly or vicious dog; a spoiled colt will make a vicious horse; boys who are not trained to work, study and be moral will grow up to be lazy, stupid and bad.
A perfect tree, dog, horse must be trained.—If you want a perfect tree, one that will be straight and shapely, one that will afford perfect shade or bear large, luscious fruit, you will have to give it proper care and training while it is young. If you want to have a perfect dog, one that will be large and handsome, one that will do what you want him to do, you must give him good care and training while he is young. If you would have a perfect horse, one with elastic bearing and beautiful form, one that will be gentle, go the gaits and travel fast, you must feed, groom and train him while he is young.
Boys need training.—If you would become a perfect man, you must be wisely trained and taught. A large part of this you can and must do for yourself. You must get a true idea of what it takes to make a perfect man. You must desire and purpose daily to live that life that will help you to reach your ideal. You must be willing to be trained and taught by those who are older and wiser than yourself.
Boys want to be men.—All boys really want to be men. They are great imitators. They look at men and decide what man they would rather be like. What a pity that all men are not what they appear to be to the inexperienced boy. So many appear to the boy to be real men, when they are not. Boys try to follow their examples and fail. It is so easy for a boy to make a mistake in what is required of him to become a perfect man.
How one boy tried to be a man.—I am quite intimately and personally acquainted with a man, who, when a boy, lived on a farm near a small town. Like all boys he longed to be a man. Some of his ideas were good and some were false. When he was about eight years old, he decided that if he could only ride a big bay horse and take a sack of corn to mill, then he would be a man. It was a happy day when he was allowed to do this. Having carefully balanced a sack of corn on the horse’s back, his father placed him on the horse behind the sack and started him to the mill.