ACT I.

Scene I. Troy. Before Priam's palace.

Enter Pandarus and Troilus.[936]

Tro. Call here my varlet; I'll unarm again:
 Why should I war without the walls of Troy,
 That find such cruel battle here within?
 Each Trojan that is master of his heart,[937]
 Let him to field; Troilus, alas, hath none! 5
Pan. Will this gear ne'er be mended?
Tro. The Greeks are strong and skilful to their strength,
 Fierce to their skill and to their fierceness valiant,
 But I am weaker than a woman's tear,
 Tamer than sleep, fonder than ignorance,[938] 10
 Less valiant than the virgin in the night,
 And skilless as unpractised infancy.
Pan. Well, I have told you enough of this: for my part,
 I 'll not meddle nor make no farther. He that will have a[939]
 cake out of the wheat must needs tarry the grinding.[940] 15
Tro. Have I not tarried?
Pan. Ay, the grinding; but you must tarry the bolting.[941]
Tro. Have I not tarried?
Pan. Ay, the bolting; but you must tarry the leavening.
Tro. Still have I tarried. 20
Pan. Ay, to the leavening; but here's yet in the word[942]
 'hereafter,' the kneading, the making of the cake, the heating
 of the oven, and the baking; nay, you must stay the[943]
 cooling too, or you may chance to burn your lips.[944]
Tro. Patience herself, what goddess e'er she be, 25
 Doth lesser blench at sufferance than I do.[945]
 At Priam's royal table do I sit;[946]
 And when fair Cressid comes into my thoughts,—[947][948]
 So, traitor!—'When she comes!'—When is she thence?[948]
Pan. Well, she looked yesternight fairer than ever I[949] 30
 saw her look, or any woman else.[949]
Tro. I was about to tell thee:—when my heart,[950]
 As wedged with a sigh, would rive in twain,
 Lest Hector or my father should perceive me,
 I have, as when the sun doth light a storm,[951] 35
 Buried this sigh in wrinkle of a smile:
 But sorrow, that is couch'd in seeming gladness,
 Is like that mirth fate turns to sudden sadness.
Pan. An her hair were not somewhat darker than[952]
 Helen's—well, go to—there were no more comparison between 40
 the women: but, for my part, she is my kinswoman;[953]
 I would not, as they term it, praise her: but I would somebody[954]
 had heard her talk yesterday, as I did. I will not
 dispraise your sister Cassandra's wit, but—
Tro. O Pandarus! I tell thee, Pandarus,— 45
 When I do tell thee, there my hopes lie drown'd,
 Reply not in how many fathoms deep[955]
 They lie indrench'd. I tell thee, I am mad[956][957]
 In Cressid's love: thou answer'st 'she is fair;'[957]
 Pour'st in the open ulcer of my heart[958][959] 50
 Her eyes, her hair, her cheek, her gait, her voice,[959]
 Handlest in thy discourse, O, that her hand,[959][960][961]
 In whose comparison all whites are ink[961]
 Writing their own reproach, to whose soft seizure[961]
 The cygnet's down is harsh and spirit of sense[961][962] 55
 Hard as the palm of ploughman: this thou tell'st me,[961]
 As true thou tell'st me, when I say I love her;[963]
 But, saying thus, instead of oil and balm,
 Thou lay'st in every gash that love hath given me
 The knife that made it. 60
Pan. I speak no more than truth.
Tro. Thou dost not speak so much.
Pan. Faith, I'll not meddle in't. Let her be as she is:[964]
 if she be fair, 'tis the better for her; an she be not, she has[965]
 the mends in her own hands. 65
Tro. Good Pandarus, how now, Pandarus![966]
Pan. I have had my labour for my travail; ill-thought
 on of her, and ill-thought on of you: gone between and between,[967]
 but small thanks for my labour.
Tro. What, art thou angry, Pandarus? what, with me? 70
Pan. Because she's kin to me, therefore she's not so[968]
 fair as Helen: an she were not kin to me, she would be as[965][969]
 fair on Friday as Helen is on Sunday. But what care I?[970]
 I care not an she were a black-a-moor; 'tis all one to me.[965]
Tro. Say I she is not fair? 75
Pan. I do not care whether you do or no. She's a
 fool to stay behind her father; let her to the Greeks; and
 so I'll tell her the next time I see her: for my part, I'll
 meddle nor make no more i' the matter.[971]
Tro. Pandarus,— 80
Pan. Not I.
Tro. Sweet Pandarus,—
Pan. Pray you, speak no more to me: I will leave all
 as I found it, and there an end. [Exit. An alarum.[972]
Tro. Peace, you ungracious clamours! peace, rude sounds! 85
 Fools on both sides! Helen must needs be fair,
 When with your blood you daily paint her thus.
 I cannot fight upon this argument;
 It is too starved a subject for my sword.
 But Pandarus—O gods, how do you plague me! 90
 I cannot come to Cressid but by Pandar;[973]
 And he's as tetchy to be woo'd to woo[974]
 As she is stubborn-chaste against all suit.[975]
 Tell me, Apollo, for thy Daphne's love,
 What Cressid is, what Pandar, and what we? 95
 Her bed is India; there she lies, a pearl:
 Between our Ilium and where she resides,[976]
 Let it be call'd the wild and wandering flood,[977]
 Ourself the merchant, and this sailing Pandar
 Our doubtful hope, our convoy and our bark. 100

Alarum. Enter Æneas.

Æne. How now, Prince Troilus! wherefore not afield?[978]
Tro. Because not there: this woman's answer sorts,
 For womanish it is to be from thence.
 What news, Æneas, from the field to-day?
Æne. That Paris is returned home, and hurt. 105
Tro. By whom, Æneas?
Æne. Troilus, by Menelaus.
Tro. Let Paris bleed: 'tis but a scar to scorn;
 Paris is gored with Menelaus' horn. [Alarum.
Æne. Hark, what good sport is out of town to-day!
Tro. Better at home, if 'would I might' were 'may.' 110
 But to the sport abroad: are you bound thither?
Æne. In all swift haste.
Tro. Come, go we then together. [Exeunt.

Scene II. The same. A street.

Enter Cressida and Alexander her man.[979]

Cres. Who were those went by?
Alex. Queen Hecuba and Helen[980]
Cres. And whither go they?
Alex. Up to the eastern tower.
 Whose height commands as subject all the vale,
 To see the battle. Hector, whose patience[981]
 Is as a virtue fix'd, to-day was moved:[982] 5
 He chid Andromache and struck his armourer;[983]
 And, like as there were husbandry in war,
 Before the sun rose he was harness'd light,[984]
 And to the field goes he; where every flower
 Did, as a prophet, weep what it foresaw 10
 In Hector's wrath.
Cres. What was his cause of anger?
Alex. The noise goes, this: there is among the Greeks[985]
 A lord of Trojan blood, nephew to Hector;
 They call him Ajax.
Cres. Good; and what of him?
Alex. They say he is a very man per se,[986][987] 15
 And stands alone.[986]
Cres. So do all men, unless they are drunk, sick, or[988]
 have no legs.
Alex. This man, lady, hath robbed many beasts of
 their particular additions; he is as valiant as the lion, 20
 churlish as the bear, slow as the elephant: a man into whom
 nature hath so crowded humours that his valour is crushed[989]
 into folly, his folly sauced with discretion: there is no man[989][990]
 hath a virtue that he hath not a glimpse of, nor any man
 an attaint but he carries some stain of it: he is melancholy 25
 without cause and merry against the hair: he hath the
 joints of every thing; but every thing so out of joint that
 he is a gouty Briareus, many hands and no use, or purblind[991]
 Argus, all eyes and no sight.
Cres. But how should this man, that makes me smile, 30
 make Hector angry?
Alex. They say he yesterday coped Hector in the battle
 and struck him down, the disdain and shame whereof[992]
 hath ever since kept Hector fasting and waking.

Enter Pandarus.[993]

Cres. Who comes here?[994] 35
Alex. Madam, your uncle Pandarus.
Cres. Hector's a gallant man.
Alex. As may be in the world, lady.
Pan. What's that? what's that?
Cres. Good morrow, uncle Pandarus. 40
Pan. Good morrow, cousin Cressid: what do you talk
 of? Good morrow, Alexander. How do you, cousin?[995]
 When were you at Ilium?[996]
Cres. This morning, uncle.
Pan. What were you talking of when I came? Was 45
 Hector armed and gone ere you came to Ilium? Helen[997]
 was not up, was she?
Cres. Hector was gone; but Helen was not up.[998]
Pan. E'en so: Hector was stirring early.
Cres. That were we talking of, and of his anger. 50
Pan. Was he angry?
Cres. So he says here.
Pan. True, he was so; I know the cause too; he'll lay
 about him to-day, I can tell them that: and there's Troilus
 will not come far behind him; let them take heed of Troilus, 55
 I can tell them that too.
Cres. What, is he angry too?
Pan. Who, Troilus? Troilus is the better man of the[999]
 two.
Cres. O Jupiter! there's no comparison. 60
Pan. What, not between Troilus and Hector? Do
 you know a man if you see him?
Cres. Ay, if I ever saw him before and knew him.
Pan. Well, I say Troilus is Troilus.
Cres. Then you say as I say; for, I am sure, he is not[1000] 65
 Hector.[1000]
Pan. No, nor Hector is not Troilus in some degrees.[1001]
Cres. 'Tis just to each of them; he is himself.[1002]
Pan. Himself! Alas, poor Troilus! I would he were.[1003]
Cres. So he is. 70
Pan. Condition, I had gone barefoot to India.[1004]
Cres. He is not Hector.
Pan. Himself! no, he's not himself: would a' were[1005]
 himself! Well, the gods are above; time must friend or
 end: well, Troilus, well, I would my heart were in her 75
 body! No, Hector is not a better man than Troilus.
Cres. Excuse me.
Pan. He is elder.
Cres. Pardon me, pardon me.
Pan. Th' other's not come to't; you shall tell me another[1006] 80
 tale, when th' other's come to't. Hector shall not have[1006]
 his wit this year.[1007]
Cres. He shall not need it, if he have his own.
Pan. Nor his qualities.
Cres. No matter. 85
Pan. Nor his beauty.
Cres. 'Twould not become him; his own's better.
Pan. You have no judgement, niece: Helen herself
 swore th' other day, that Troilus, for a brown favour—for
 so 'tis, I must confess,—not brown neither,— 90
Cres. No, but brown.[1008]
Pan. Faith, to say truth, brown and not brown.
Cres. To say the truth, true and not true.
Pan. She praised his complexion above Paris.[1009]
Cres. Why, Paris hath colour enough. 95
Pan. So he has.
Cres. Then Troilus should have too much: if she praised[1010]
 him above, his complexion is higher than his; he having[1011]
 colour enough, and the other higher, is too flaming a praise[1012]
 for a good complexion. I had as lief Helen's golden tongue[1013] 100
 had commended Troilus for a copper nose.
Pan. I swear to you, I think Helen loves him better[1014]
 than Paris.[1014]
Cres. Then she's a merry Greek indeed.
Pan. Nay, I am sure she does. She came to him th' 105
 other day into the compassed window,—and, you know, he
 has not past three or four hairs on his chin,—
Cres. Indeed, a tapster's arithmetic may soon bring his
 particulars therein to a total.
Pan. Why, he is very young: and yet will he, within 110
 three pound, lift as much as his brother Hector.[1015]
Cres. Is he so young a man and so old a lifter?[1016]
Pan. But, to prove to you that Helen loves him: she
 came and puts me her white hand to his cloven chin—
Cres. Juno have mercy! how came it cloven? 115
Pan. Why, you know, 'tis dimpled: I think his smiling
 becomes him better than any man in all Phrygia.
Cres. O, he smiles valiantly.[1017]
Pan. Does he not?
Cres. O yes, an 'twere a cloud in autumn.[1018] 120
Pan. Why, go to, then: but to prove to you that Helen
 loves Troilus,—
Cres. Troilus will stand to the proof, if you'll prove[1019][1020]
 it so.[1019]
Pan. Troilus! why, he esteems her no more than I esteem 125
 an addle egg.
Cres. If you love an addle egg as well as you love an
 idle head, you would eat chickens i'the shell.
Pan. I cannot choose but laugh, to think how she tickled
 his chin; indeed, she has a marvellous white hand, I must[1021] 130
 needs confess,—
Cres. Without the rack.
Pan. And she takes upon her to spy a white hair on
 his chin.
Cres. Alas, poor chin! many a wart is richer. 135
Pan. But there was such laughing! Queen Hecuba
 laughed, that her eyes ran o'er.[1022]
Cres. With mill-stones.
Pan. And Cassandra laughed.
Cres. But there was more temperate fire under the pot[1023] 140
 of her eyes: did her eyes run o'er too?
Pan. And Hector laughed.
Cres. At what was all this laughing?
Pan. Marry, at the white hair that Helen spied on
 Troilus' chin.[1024] 145
Cres. An't had been a green hair, I should have laughed[1025]
 too.
Pan. They laughed not so much at the hair as at his
 pretty answer.
Cres. What was his answer? 150
Pan. Quoth she, 'Here's but two and fifty hairs on[1026]
 your chin, and one of them is white.'
Cres. This is her question.
Pan. That's true; make no question of that. 'Two and[1027]
 fifty hairs,' quoth he, 'and one white: that white hair is my[1028] 155
 father, and all the rest are his sons.' 'Jupiter!' quoth she,
 'which of these hairs is Paris my husband?' 'The forked
 one,' quoth he, 'pluck't out, and give it him.' But there[1029]
 was such laughing! and Helen so blushed, and Paris so
 chafed, and all the rest so laughed, that it passed. 160
Cres. So let it now; for it has been a great while going by.[1030]
Pan. Well, cousin, I told you a thing yesterday; think[1031]
 on't.[1031]
Cres. So I do.[1032]
Pan. I'll be sworn 'tis true; he will weep you, an[165, 167] 165
 'twere a man born in April.
Cres. And I'll spring up in his tears, an 'twere a nettle[1033]
 against May. [A retreat sounded.[1034]
Pan. Hark! they are coming from the field: shall we
 stand up here, and see them as they pass toward Ilium?[1035] 170
 good niece, do, sweet niece Cressida.
Cres. At your pleasure.
Pan. Here, here, here's an excellent place; here we
 may see most bravely: I'll tell you them all by their names
 as they pass by; but mark Troilus above the rest. 175

Æneas passes.[1036]

Cres. Speak not so loud.
Pan. That's Æneas: is not that a brave man? he's one
 of the flowers of Troy, I can tell you: but mark Troilus;[1037]
 you shall see anon.
Cres. Who's that?[1038] 180

Antenor passes.