Edg. How now, brother Edmund! what serious contemplation
are you in?
Edm. I am thinking, brother, of a prediction I read
this other day, what should follow these eclipses.[2727]
Edg. Do you busy yourself about that?[2751] 135
Edm. I promise you, the effects he writ of succeed[2752]
unhappily; as of unnaturalness between the child and the[2753]
parent; death, dearth, dissolutions of ancient amities; divisions[2753][2754]
in state, menaces and maledictions against king and[2753]
nobles; needless diffidences, banishment of friends, dissipation[2753] 140
of cohorts, nuptial breaches, and I know not what.[2753][2755]
Edg. How long have you been a sectary astronomical?[2753]
Edm. Come, come; when saw you my father last?[2753]
Edg. Why, the night gone by.[2756]
Edm. Spake you with him? 145
Edg. Ay, two hours together.[2757]
Edm. Parted you in good terms? Found you no displeasure
in him by word or countenance?[2758]
Edg. None at all.
Edm. Bethink yourself wherein you may have offended[2759] 150
him: and at my entreaty forbear his presence till some[2760]
little time hath qualified the heat of his displeasure, which
at this instant so rageth in him that with the mischief of[2761]
your person it would scarcely allay.[2762]
Edg. Some villain hath done me wrong. 155
Edm. That's my fear. I pray you, have a continent[2763]
forbearance till the speed of his rage goes slower and, as I[2763]
say, retire with me to my lodging, from whence I will fitly[2763]
bring you to hear my lord speak: pray ye, go; there's my[2763][2764]
key: if you do stir abroad, go armed.[2763] 160
Edm. Brother, I advise you to the best: go armed: I[2763][2765]
am no honest man if there be any good meaning towards[2766]
you: I have told you what I have seen and heard; but[2767]
faintly, nothing like the image and horror of it: pray you,[2767] 165
away.
Edg. Shall I hear from you anon?
Edm. I do serve you in this business. [Exit Edgar.[2768]
A credulous father, and a brother noble,
Whose nature is so far from doing harms 170
That he suspects none; on whose foolish honesty
My practices ride easy. I see the business.
Let me, if not by birth, have lands by wit:
All with me's meet that I can fashion fit. [Exit.[2769]
Scene III. The Duke of Albany's palace.
Enter Goneril and Oswald, her steward.[2770]
Gon. Did my father strike my gentleman for chiding
of his fool?
Gon. By day and night he wrongs me; every hour[2773][2774]
He flashes into one gross crime or other,[2774] 5
That sets us all at odds: I'll not endure it:
His knights grow riotous, and himself upbraids us[2775]
On every trifle. When he returns from hunting,[2776]
I will not speak with him; say I am sick:
If you come slack of former services, 10
You shall do well; the fault of it I'll answer.
Osw. He's coming, madam; I hear him. [Horns within.[2777]
Gon. Put on what weary negligence you please,[2778][2779]
You and your fellows; I'ld have it come to question:[2778][2780]
If he distaste it, let him to our sister,[2778][2781] 15
Whose mind and mine, I know, in that are one,[2778]
Not to be over-ruled. Idle old man,[2782]
That still would manage those authorities[2782]
That he hath given away! Now, by my life,[2782]
Old fools are babes again, and must be used[2782][2783] 20
With checks as flatteries, when they are seen abused.[2782][2784]
Remember what I tell you.
Gon. And let his knights have colder looks among you;[2786]
What grows of it, no matter; advise your fellows so:[2786][2787]
I would breed from hence occasions, and I shall,[2788] 25
That I may speak: I'll write straight to my sister,[2788][2789]
To hold my very course. Prepare for dinner. [Exeunt.[2789][2790]
Scene IV. A hall in the same.
Enter Kent, disguised.[2791]
Kent. If but as well I other accents borrow,[2792][2793]
That can my speech defuse, my good intent[2792][2794]
May carry through itself to that full issue[2792]
For which I razed my likeness. Now, banish'd Kent,[2792][2795]
If thou canst serve where thou dost stand condemn'd,[2792] 5
So may it come, thy master whom thou lovest[2792][2796]
Shall find thee full of labours.[2792]
Horns within. Enter Lear, Knights, and Attendants.[2797]
Lear. Let me not stay a jot for dinner; go get it ready.
[Exit an Attendant.] How now! what art thou?[2798]
Kent. A man, sir. 10
Lear. What dost thou profess? What wouldst thou
with us?
Kent. I do profess to be no less than I seem; to serve
him truly that will put me in trust; to love him that is honest;
to converse with him that is wise and says little; to fear[2799] 15
judgement; to fight when I cannot choose, and to eat no fish.
Kent. A very honest-hearted fellow, and as poor as
the king.
Lear. If thou be as poor for a subject as he is for a[2801] 20
king, thou art poor enough. What wouldst thou?[2802]
Kent. Service.
Lear. Who wouldst thou serve?[2803]
Kent. You.
Lear. Dost thou know me, fellow? 25
Kent. No, sir; but you have that in your countenance
which I would fain call master.
Kent. Authority.
Lear. What services canst thou do?[2805] 30
Kent. I can keep honest counsel, ride, run, mar a[2806]
curious tale in telling it, and deliver a plain message
bluntly: that which ordinary men are fit for, I am qualified
in, and the best of me is diligence.
Lear. How old art thou? 35
Kent. Not so young, sir, to love a woman for singing,[2807]
nor so old to dote on her for any thing: I have years on my
back forty eight.
Lear. Follow me; thou shalt serve me: if I like thee no[2808][2809]
worse after dinner, I will not part from thee yet. Dinner,[2809][2810] 40
ho, dinner! Where's my knave? my fool? Go you, and[2810]
call my fool hither. [Exit an Attendant.[2811]
Enter Oswald.[2812]
You, you, sirrah, where's my daughter?[2813]
Osw. So please you,— [Exit.[2814]
Lear. What says the fellow there? Call the clotpoll[2815] 45
back. [Exit a Knight.] Where's my fool, ho? I think[2816]
the world's asleep.
Re-enter Knight.[2817]
How now! where's that mongrel?
Knight. He says, my lord, your daughter is not well.[2818]
Lear. Why came not the slave back to me when I 50
called him?
Knight. Sir, he answered me in the roundest manner,[2819][2820]
he would not.
Knight. My lord, I know not what the matter is; but,[2819] 55
to my judgement, your highness is not entertained with that
ceremonious affection as you were wont; there's a great
abatement of kindness appears as well in the general dependants[2822]
as in the duke himself also and your daughter.
Lear. Ha! sayest thou so? 60
Knight. I beseech you, pardon me, my lord, if I be[2819]
mistaken; for my duty cannot be silent when I think
your highness wronged.[2823]
Lear. Thou but rememberest me of mine own conception:[2824]
I have perceived a most faint neglect of late; which I[2825] 65
have rather blamed as mine own jealous curiosity than as[2826]
a very pretence and purpose of unkindness: I will look[2827]
further into't. But where's my fool? I have not seen him[2828]
this two days.[2829]
Knight. Since my young lady's going into France, sir,[2830] 70
the fool hath much pined away.
Lear. No more of that; I have noted it well. Go you,[2831]
and tell my daughter I would speak with her. [Exit an Attendant.][2832]
Go you, call hither my fool. [Exit an Attendant.
Re-enter Oswald.[2833]
O, you sir, you, come you hither, sir: who am I, sir?[2834] 75
Osw. My lady's father.
Lear. My lady's father! my lord's knave: you whoreson
dog! you slave! you cur!
Lear. Do you bandy looks with me, you rascal?
[Striking him.[2838]
Osw. I'll not be struck, my lord.[2839]
Kent. Nor tripped neither, you base foot-ball player.[2840]
[Tripping up his heels.
Lear. I thank thee, fellow; thou servest me, and I'll[2841]
love thee.[2841] 85
Kent. Come, sir, arise, away! I'll teach you differences:[2842]
away, away! If you will measure your lubber's length again,[2843]
tarry: but away! go to; have you wisdom? so.[2844]
[Pushes Oswald out.
Lear. Now, my friendly knave, I thank thee: there's[2845]
earnest of thy service. [Giving Kent money.[2846] 90
Enter Fool.
Fool. Let me hire him too: here's my coxcomb.[2847]
[Offering Kent his cap.
Lear. How now, my pretty knave! how dost thou?
Fool. Sirrah, you were best take my coxcomb.
Fool. Why, for taking one's part that's out of favour:[2849] 95
nay, an thou canst not smile as the wind sits, thou'lt catch[2850]
cold shortly: there, take my coxcomb: why, this fellow hath[2851]
banished two on's daughters, and done the third a blessing[2852]
against his will; if thou follow him, thou must needs wear
my coxcomb. How now, nuncle! Would I had two coxcombs 100
and two daughters![2853]
Lear. Why, my boy?
Fool. If I gave them all my living, I'ld keep my coxcombs[2854]
myself. There's mine; beg another of thy daughters.
Lear. Take heed, sirrah; the whip. 105
Fool. Truth's a dog must to kennel; he must be whipped[2855]
out, when Lady the brach may stand by the fire and[2856]
stink.
Lear. A pestilent gall to me![2857]
Fool. Sirrah, I'll teach thee a speech.[2858] 110
Fool. Mark it, nuncle:[2860]
Have more than thou showest,[2861]
Speak less than thou knowest,[2861]
Lend less than thou owest,[2861] 115
Ride more than thou goest,[2861]
Learn more than thou trowest,[2861]
Set less than thou throwest;[2861]
Leave thy drink and thy whore,[2861]
And keep in-a-door,[2861][2862] 120
And thou shalt have more[2861]
Than two tens to a score.[2861]
Kent. This is nothing, fool.[2863]
Fool. Then 'tis like the breath of an unfee'd lawyer,[2864]
you gave me nothing for't. Can you make no use of[2865] 125
nothing, nuncle?[2866]
Lear. Why, no, boy; nothing can be made out of
nothing.
Fool. [To Kent] Prithee, tell him, so much the rent of[2867]
his land comes to: he will not believe a fool. 130
Lear. No, lad; teach me.[2868]
Fool. All thy other titles thou hast given away; that[2872]
thou wast born with.[2872] 145
Kent. This is not altogether fool, my lord.[2872]
Fool. No, faith, lords and great men will not let me; if[2872]
I had a monopoly out, they would have part on't: and[2872][2876][2877]
ladies too, they will not let me have all the fool to myself;[2872][2877][2878]
they'll be snatching. Give me an egg, nuncle, and I'll give[2872][2879] 150
thee two crowns.
Lear. What two crowns shall they be?
Fool. Why, after I have cut the egg in the middle and[2880]
eat up the meat, the two crowns of the egg. When thou
clovest thy crown i' the middle and gavest away both parts,[2881] 155
thou borest thine ass on thy back o'er the dirt: thou hadst[2882]
little wit in thy bald crown when thou gavest thy golden
one away. If I speak like myself in this, let him be whipped[2883]
that first finds it so.[2884]
[Singing] Fools had ne'er less wit in a year;[2885][2886] 160
For wise men are grown foppish,
And know not how their wits to wear,[2887]
Their manners are so apish.
Lear. When were you wont to be so full of songs, sirrah?[2888]
Fool. I have used it, nuncle, ever since thou madest thy[2889] 165
daughters thy mother: for when thou gavest them the rod[2890]
and puttest down thine own breeches,
[Singing] Then they for sudden joy did weep,[2885][2891][2892]
And I for sorrow sung,[2892]
That such a king should play bo-peep,[2892] 170
And go the fools among.[2892][2893]
Prithee, nuncle, keep a schoolmaster that can teach thy
fool to lie: I would fain learn to lie.[2894]
Lear. An you lie, sirrah, we'll have you whipped.[2895]
Fool. I marvel what kin thou and thy daughters are: 175
they'll have me whipped for speaking true, thou'lt have me[2896]
whipped for lying, and sometimes I am whipped for holding[2897]
my peace. I had rather be any kind o' thing than a fool:[2898]
and yet I would not be thee, nuncle; thou hast pared thy
wit o' both sides and left nothing i' the middle. Here comes[2899] 180
one o' the parings.[2898][2900]
Enter Goneril.