Enter Ortellus and Arbatus, as going into the
Duke's bed-chamber, and the Duke in bed.
Ort. So, I will keep the door, whilst you
Dispatch him.
Arb. My lord,
I find you truly noble. Why, duke; why, duke! I say.
Methinks my voice should wake his guilty soul,
Nothing but innocence can sleep secure;
Then why, good heaven, does he take
Such rest?
Awake, thou drowsy devil! Duke, my sister's
Wrongs do call thee from thy sleep; methinks
The sound of those should pierce thy ears. Why, duke!
Duke. What bold voice is that?
Arb. One that will be more
Bold with you.
Duke. Who is't so impudent as
To break my sleep?
Arb. 'Tis I, Arbatus, that
Will put thee into a wonder.
Duke. Ha! what means
That dagger in thy hands?
Arb. Canst thou ask that
Question? it is to tickle thy false heart.
Duke. Ha, ha, ha! you jest, you jest.
Arb. What,
Does the conceit on't make you laugh already?
I was resolved to wake thee, before
I sent thee to hell, because thou may'st know
Of whose errand thou goest.
Duke. Come, come, leave
Your foolery, lest you heat my blood.
Arb. If
I do, I will let it out all, and that
Will quickly cool it. I would give thee time
To say thy prayers now, but that I know
Thy sin to be so great, that heaven will
Not pardon thee.
Enter Artabella.
Ort. Who's that?
Art. 'Tis I, my lord:
Artabella. Let me in quickly, that I
May have one stab at his false heart, before
My brother has put him past feeling.
Ort. And so thou shalt, brave girl.
Arb. Now, duke, good night to you, and the devil
Send you good rest.
Art. Hold, brother.
Arb. Who's that?
Art. 'Tis I thy injur'd sister, come to make
The first hole in that base duke's heart; it is
My right.
Arb. Begin, begin then, that I may
Make an end.
Art. Stay, brother, not too fast,
Has he said his prayers?
Arb. His pray'rs! why none
But the devil will hear them. Come, come, sister,
Give me the dagger again; you waste time.
Art. And so I will, the duke shan't die.
Arb. How, not die?
Art. Not die, I say.
Arb. Then you are his whore all this while, and wou'd
Have him live, that you may be so still.
Art. Brother,
Another word so foul, I'll strike this dagger
Through your heart,
Therefore hear me speak. Know then,
'Tis I that cannot love the duke, which he
Would never tell you, knowing 'twould make you angry
With me.
Arb. Nay then I'll kill you for fooling
A brother and your reputation thus.
Duke. Hold, Arbatus, she says it but to save
My life. 'Tis I have fooled you both, therefore
Strike here.
Arb. And so I will, then.
Art. Hold, brother;
Pull not a load of sins upon your head;
'Tis I have been to blame, indeed I have,
With loving him too much.
Arb. Then thou shalt die.
Duke. Hold, sir, heaven will frown on you for ever,
If you shed one drop of that pure blood; upon
My word, 'tis I.
Arb. Keep not my tortur'd soul
Thus in suspense. One of you tell me true,
And that quickly too, else I will destroy
You both, and that's the surest way not
To mistake.
Duke. Then be assur'd 'tis I.
Art. Brother,
'Tis not, 'tis I.
Arb. Heyday! heyday! I know
Not what to do or say. [Throws down his sword and goes away.
Ort. So, he is dead,
I hope.
Arb. No more than you are.
Ort. How so?
Arb. Come,
My lord, as you go, I'll tell you.
[Exeunt Arbatus and Ortellus.
Duke. O Artabella, why didst take my sin
Upon thyself, hiding thy innocence
With a face of guilt? My death had been not
Punishment enough, because I have wrong'd
So fair a life as yours. Which way to ask
Forgiveness, I can't tell; there are no pardons for
Such sins as mine; the only way to do
Thee right, is this. [Offers to kill himself.
Art. Hold, sir, my life
Shall follow yours, if you strike.
Duke. Why would'st thou
Have me live?
Art. Because I love you, sir.
Duke. And that's the only reason I would die.
Art. Why, would it be kindly done to show
My eyes your blood?
Duke. Yes, far more kind than live, and show
Thy heart no love. O Artabella, that thou wert
My sister!
Nothing but brother's love were then
Thy due; and I could richly pay thee in
That coin, a million more than ever brother did.
Art. Wou'd nature then had made me so, or else
Had given me never a heart.
Duke. What wou'dst
Thou have me do, poor Artabella?
Art. Nothing
But love me, sir.
Duke. See, what thou doest ask
A man, a god wou'd do; and yet I can't;
'Tis not thy want of beauty, but my fate.
Angels themselves, to look upon thy face,
Wou'd take a journey twice a day from heaven.
Art. If you would come, though far a shorter way,
You shou'd be much more welcome.
Duke. Sweet tongue, lie still, offer no more such love,
As gods themselves to have wou'd think a bliss,
Since all thy kindness does but wound my heart,
To see thine shipwreck'd in a sea of love,
And cannot give it harbour in my breast.
Art. Sir, let me beg one thing of you then.
Duke. With all my soul, be it my dukedom, and
'Tis thine.
Art. 'Tis no such great request;
'Tis only when you meet me, say: I hate
Thee, Artabella.
Duke. Why, could that word please thee?
Art. No; but to hear it said by you, would bring
My death, then I wou'd thank you for my rest.
Would you not come unto my grave, sir?
Duke. O yes, and make thy coffin float with a sea
Of tears.
Art. Fair sir, of what?
Duke. Of grief.
Art. O me!
A sea of tears, and yet not one of love!
Waste not such precious drops upon my grave, it will
Not satisfy my hovering soul to see
Your eyes drop pity without love. Farewell, sir.
O for a grave, that were a resting place;
Good heart, be kind, and break apace! [Exit.
Duke. Heaven love thee for me! Base Amphelia,
Thou art the author of my horrid sin. [Exit.
Enter Philidor and Mirida.
Phil. Thou talk'st of sport, Mirida; if all the
Sport we have had already with our lovers,
Come not short of this, hang me. You say you have
Invited them already to my funeral.
Mir. Yes, yes. [Philidor is laid out like a corpse.
Phil. So, so, methinks my body lies
In great state, to see the tribe that will come
By-and-by; here will be half a dozen
Chief mourners, which should have been my wives, and
Some three or four sons and heirs, besides three
Or four hopeful daughters; these, with
The congregation of nurses, will howl me
A pleasant dirge. Mirida, you being my
Executrix, must carry yourself very gravely;
Here's my will, which you must read to 'em; I'll be
The priest myself. Hark, somebody knocks [Knocks within.
At the gate.
Enter Boy.
Boy. Sir, they are all
Come.
Phil. Let 'em in.—Now, Mirida, manage
Your business well.
Mir. Let me alone, I'll warrant ye.
Enter Ladies and Nurse.
All Ladies. Ah! my poor dear, dear.
All Nurses. Ah! my poor dear master! ah, child,
Cry for thy poor dad. [Kiss the hearse.
Phil. What a dog-kennel's here! how they howl! [Aside.
Mir. When
The passions of your grief are over, pray
Hear me speak, because it concerns you all.
Phil. Pox of thy gravity, Mirida. [Aside.
Mir. Nay, hold your tongue; if
You set me once a laughing, I shall spoil
Your funeral. [Aside.
Enter Pinguister and Lean-man.
So here comes my fat lover and my
Lean one! Welcome, gentlemen, I
Was afraid I shou'd not have had your company.
Ping. Really, sweet lady, I have taken a purge
To-day (as I do constantly, for love
Of you) which has retarded me,
By reason of its operation, neither can
I say it has yet finished.
Mir. Sir, please you
To sit down, and you,
Master Pinguister.
Ping. Lady, I shall embrace your offer, and shall
Press your chair. By my heart, madam, this chair
Was fitter for a jackdaw than [for] me.
[Sits down and breaks the chair.
Nay, they make such chairs now-a-days, that had I
A grudge to an upholsterer, I would
Desire no greater revenge than to sit
Down upon every chair in his shop.
Mir. Truly,
Sir, I am sorry for your fall.
Ladies and gentlewomen, pray give your
Attention to my dear deceas'd cousin's
Will. Poor young man! he was kill'd yesterday
By a duel:
He liv'd but two hours after he was hurt,
Which time he made use of, to settle something
On all you here, his worthy friends.
Omnes. A good young man.
Mir. Imprimis, I bequeath my soul, as other
People use to do, and so my body.
Item, I give to Mistress Mary, for a reason that
she knows, £500. Item, £500 to Mistress Margaret,
for a reason she knows. Item, £500 to Mistress
Sarah, for a reason she knows. Item, £500 to
Mistress Martha, for a reason she knows. Item,
£500 to Mistress Alice, for a reason she knows.
Item, £500 to Mistress Eleanor, for a reason she
knows. And so to all the rest. Item, To my
nurses, I leave each of them £20 a year apiece for
their lives, besides their arrears due to them for
nursing. These sums [speaks low] of money and
legacies I leave to be rais'd and paid out of my
manor of Constantinople, in which the Great Turk
is now tenant for life.
If they should hear how their legacies [Laughs aside.
Are to be paid, how they'd fall a-drumming on
His coffin!
Item, I leave to Master Pinguister,
A very fat man.—
Ping. I am so.
Mir. An infallible
Receipt to make him lean.
Ping. So I hope the
Dead may do what the living cannot.
Mir. I leave to a certain lean gentleman,
Whom I have seen in my cousin Mirida's
Company, a sure receipt to make him fat.
Lean. I find he knew I was to marry his cousin.
Mir. I desire my body to be carried to the
Grave by the six aforesaid gentlewomen.—
So, ladies, now you have heard his will,
Be pleased to take up the body: nurses,
You are to follow next; now which o' you
Will lead me?
Ping. I will, madam.
Lean. By my bones, but you shan't.
Ping. By my fat, but I will, sir.
Mir. Nay, gentlemen, pray, fall not out. Well, one
Of you lead me one half of the way. [Exeunt.
Ping. Agreed,
Sir, take you her hand first,
A very timely proposition, for my purge
Works again. Save me!
Whereabouts is the closet? [Goes out, and comes in again.
What a loose must I run to overtake them
Now! else I shall not lead my mistress the last
Half-way. Deliver me from love and purges!
Enter all again with a coffin; Philidor and
Mirida shut them into the vault.
Phil. So, there let 'em converse with the dead a
While; I would rather have 'em there than above
Ground: here will I keep 'em till they have
All quitted me under their hands and seals.
Mir. O, the sport that we shall have by-and-by!
Well, but I must go home a little, my
Father will miss me: where shall we meet
Again?
Phil. Just here.
Mir. I will not fail. [Exeunt.
Enter Amarissa just arrived.
Ama. I'm come too late, and yet too soon am here,
Since dear Zoranzo's death is now so near.
On the same block with him I'll lay my head,
That our two bodies may have but one bed.
Thus are our nuptial joys decreed by fate,
Our wedding and our burial bear one date.
Sure, I'm the first of maids that ever gave
Her body to her lover in a grave.
Alas! in cold embraces we must meet,
With icy kisses in a winding-sheet.
Yet though this life denies us time to love,
The other life will not so cruel prove;
Our souls so fast in lovers' knots we'll tie,
That when the headsman strikes, they both shall fly,
Twined in one another through the air,
And be at rest, whilst other souls despair.
Enter Jailor.
This is the prison,
And here's the jailor, I believe. Pray, sir,
Do you belong unto the prison?
Jailor. Belong!
Yes, I am the keeper of it.
Ama. Is not
Here one Zoranzo a prisoner?
Jailor. Yes,
But he won't be here long, for he is
To die anon.
Ama. Ah me! sir, I am his
Sister; pray help me to him, that I may speak
With him before that cruel hour; I love
Him so, that I must needs die with him; I'll
Petition the duke that I may; sure, he'll not
Deny me that request.
Jailor. I can tell you a way that you may be sure
To have that favour granted.
Ama. Tell it me, and I'll thank ye.
Jailor. Why, if you'll try to convey him out of prison,
As another lady has already, you may
Bear them company too.
Ama. Why, has there any lady endeavour'd it?
Jailor. Yes, one that is his mistress, and they are
Both to die together.
Ama. Ha! what is't I hear? his mistress, say you?
Jailor. Yes, mistress; they both lie as contentedly
By one another, as if they were not two.
Ama. Curse him, good heaven, ye cannot throw too many
Curses on him. Here, jailor, take this,
And let me speak with the prisoner.
Jailor. Madam,
You shall.
Enter Zoranzo and Amphelia as in prison, in
chains.
Zor. Amarissa! are my eyes false, or is it
Truly she?
Ama. Your eyes are true; but 'tis your heart that's false.
Zor. I am deceiv'd! that cannot be her tongue.
Ama. Should it speak otherwise to thee, I'd tear
It out, devil, Zoranzo; cursed pair
Of vipers, that in chains of death can practise
Lust, as if no end were nigh. Do not
My wrongs startle thy guilty soul, to think
Of all the torments it must have, that could
With so much falseness murder love? When thou
Art gone to hell, as go thou must, 'twill be
A task for all the devils there,
To torture thee enough. Thy sin is such,
Were I thy headsman, when thou com'st to die,
I'd be a week a-cutting off thy head,
'Twixt every stroke I'd stop; and then I'd hollow
Amarissa in thy ears; thy guilt would be
An echo to my wrongs, and answer to
My cry: wrong'd Amarissa;
Which injur'd name repeated to thy ears,
Would make thy soul think hell not half such pain.
Farewell, Zoranzo, I'll come to see your
Head struck off, and your lady's.
Zor. Base Amarissa, that can conclude me
False, because she saw this lady lie in
Chains by me, and could not ask me how we
Came together. Thus to revile me, and
Not know the truth: I'll scorn to tell her now!
Enter Duke.
Ama. O sir, be pleas'd to hear a maid's petition,
Though a stranger to you.
Duke. Fair maid, what is't?
Ama. Zoranzo that's condemn'd to die, may——
Duke. Not
Live; if that be your request, pray do not
Ask; I shan't grant it.
Ama. No, sir, 'tis that he
May have a thousand deaths, instead of one;
Or one that has more pain than thousands.
Duke. What makes you thus incens'd against him?
Ama. Heaven knows I have too much cause, sir. I have
Lov'd him long, and the day he was your prisoner,
Should have been our wedding. News being brought
To me in my own country, that he was
To die, in flying haste I took this tedious
Journey; with sorrow and with joy I here
Arrived; tears in my eyes for his approaching
Death, smiles on my cheeks to think of dying
With him; but when I came unto the prison gate
I met the jailor, and he told me all,
Then let me in, and to
Rejoice my eyes, I saw two devils lie
In chains together, and not half so fast
As chain'd in love.
All my intended kisses then I chang'd
Into as many curses on his heart,
Which with my eyes I spoke as well as tongue.
Duke. Alas! poor injur'd maid, we must be one
Another's
Petitioners; thy fate is mine;
That woman which you saw with him has prov'd
As false to me, as he to you.
Ama. For heaven's
Sake, sir, let 'em die both; no sight would please
Us like their blood; the jailor
Told me they lie as close together all day
As if they were not two.
Duke. O, curse on 'em!
Ama. O, the devil take 'em! pray, sir, give order
That they may be brought immediately
To execution.
Duke. I will.
Ama. I'll go call the jailor, sir. [Steps to the prison.
Enter Jailor.
Duke. Jailor, let the prisoners be brought to
Execution straight, I'll be there myself.
Ama. And I too, sir.
Duke. You shall; we'll go together. [Exeunt.