The Works of William Shakespeare [Cambridge Edition] [Vol. 4 of 9]

North. I pray thee, loving wife, and gentle daughter,[3627]
Give even way unto my rough affairs:[3628]
Put not you on the visage of the times,
And be like them to Percy troublesome.

Lady N. I have given over, I will speak no more:[3629]5
Do what you will; your wisdom be your guide.

North. Alas, sweet wife, my honour is at pawn;
And, but my going, nothing can redeem it.

Lady P. O yet, for God's sake, go not to these wars![3630]
The time was, father, that you broke your word,[3631]10
When you were more endear'd to it than now;[3632]
When your own Percy, when my heart's dear Harry,[3633]
Threw many a northward look to see his father
Bring up his powers; but he did long in vain.[3634]
Who then persuaded you to stay at home?15
There were two honours lost, yours and your son's.
For yours, the God of heaven brighten it![3635]
For his, it stuck upon him as the sun
In the grey vault of heaven, and by his light
Did all the chivalry of England move20
To do brave acts: he was indeed the glass
Wherein the noble youth did dress themselves:
He had no legs that practised not his gait;[3636]
And speaking thick, which nature made his blemish,[3636]
Became the accents of the valiant;[3636]25
For those that could speak low and tardily[3636][3637]
Would turn their own perfection to abuse,[3636]
To seem like him: so that in speech, in gait,[3636]
In diet, in affections of delight,[3636]
In military rules, humours of blood,[3636]30
He was the mark and glass, copy and book,[3636]
That fashion'd others. And him, O wondrous him![3636][3638]
O miracle of men! him did you leave,[3636]
Second to none, unseconded by you,[3636][3639]
To look upon the hideous god of war[3636]35
In disadvantage; to abide a field[3636][3640]
Where nothing but the sound of Hotspur's name[3636]
Did seem defensible: so you left him.[3636][3641]
Never, O never, do his ghost the wrong[3636]
To hold your honour more precise and nice[3636]40
With others than with him! let them alone:[3636]
The marshal and the archbishop are strong:[3636]
Had my sweet Harry had but half their numbers,[3636][3642]
To-day might I, hanging on Hotspur's neck,[3636]
Have talk'd of Monmouth's grave.[3636]

North. Beshrew your heart,45
Fair daughter, you do draw my spirits from me
With new lamenting ancient oversights.
But I must go and meet with danger there,
Or it will seek me in another place
And find me worse provided.

Lady N. O, fly to Scotland,[3629][3643]50
Till that the nobles and the armed commons
Have of their puissance made a little taste.

Lady P. If they get ground and vantage of the king,[3644]
Then join you with them, like a rib of steel,
To make strength stronger; but, for all our loves,55
First let them try themselves. So did your son;
He was so suffer'd: so came I a widow;
And never shall have length of life enough
To rain upon remembrance with mine eyes,
That it may grow and sprout as high as heaven,60
For recordation to my noble husband.

North. Come, come, go in with me. 'Tis with my mind
As with the tide swell'd up unto his height,
That makes a still-stand, running neither way:[3645]
Fain would I go to meet the archbishop,65
But many thousand reasons hold me back.[3646]
I will resolve for Scotland: there am I,
Till time and vantage crave my company. [Exeunt.

First Draw. What the devil hast thou brought there?[3648]
apple-johns? thou knowest Sir John cannot endure an
apple-john.

Sec. Draw. Mass, thou sayest true. The prince once [3649]
set a dish of apple-johns before him, and told him there5
were five more Sir Johns; and, putting off his hat, said 'I
will now take my leave of these six dry, round, old, withered [3650]
knights.' It angered him to the heart: but he hath forgot
that.

First Draw. Why, then, cover, and set them down: and10
see if thou canst find out Sneak's noise; Mistress Tearsheet
would fain hear some music. Dispatch: the room where [3651][3652]
they supped is too hot; they'll come in straight.[3652]

Sec. Draw. Sirrah, here will be the prince and Master[3652]
Poins anon; and they will put on two of our jerkins and15
aprons; and Sir John must not know of it: Bardolph hath
brought word.[3653]

First Draw. By the mass, here will be old utis: it will [3654]
be an excellent stratagem.

Sec. Draw. I'll see if I can find out Sneak. [Exit.20

Host. I'faith, sweetheart, methinks now you are in an [3656]
excellent good temperality: your pulsidge beats as extraordinarily
as heart would desire; and your colour, I warrant
you, is as red as any rose, in good truth, la! But, i'[3657]
faith, you have drunk too much canaries; and that's a [3658]25
marvellous searching wine, and it perfumes the blood ere
one can say 'What's this?' How do you now?[3659]

Dol. Better than I was: hem!

Host. Why, that's well said; a good heart's worth [3660]
gold. Lo, here comes Sir John.30

Fal. [Singing] 'When Arthur first in court'—Empty [3662]
the jordan. [Exit First Drawer].—[Singing] 'And was a[3662][3663]
worthy king.' How now, Mistress Doll!

Host. Sick of a calm; yea, good faith.[3664]

Fal. So is all her sect; an they be once in a calm, they [3665]35
are sick.

Dol. You muddy rascal, is that all the comfort you [3666]
give me?

Fal. You make fat rascals, Mistress Doll.

Dol. I make them! gluttony and diseases make them;[3667]40
I make them not.

Fal. If the cook help to make the gluttony, you help [3668]
to make the diseases, Doll: we catch of you, Doll, we catch
of you; grant that, my poor virtue, grant that.[3669]

Dol. Yea, joy, our chains and our jewels.[3670]45

Fal. 'Your brooches, pearls, and ouches:' for to serve [3671]
bravely is to come halting off, you know: to come off the
breach with his pike bent bravely, and to surgery bravely;
to venture upon the charged chambers bravely,—

Dol. Hang yourself, you muddy conger, hang yourself![3672]50

Host. By my troth, this is the old fashion; you two [3673]
never meet but you fall to some discord: you are both,
i' good truth, as rheumatic as two dry toasts; you cannot [3674]
one bear with another's confirmities. What the good-year![3675]
one must bear, and that must be you: you are the weaker55
vessel, as they say, the emptier vessel.

Dol. Can a weak empty vessel bear such a huge full
hogshead? there's a whole merchant's venture of Bourdeaux
stuff in him; you have not seen a hulk better stuffed in the
hold. Come, I'll be friends with thee, Jack: thou art going60
to the wars; and whether I shall ever see thee again or no,
there is nobody cares.

First Draw. Sir, Ancient Pistol's below, and would [3677]
speak with you.

Dol. Hang him, swaggering rascal! let him not come65
hither: it is the foul-mouthedst rogue in England.

Host. If he swagger, let him not come here: no, by my [3678]
faith; I must live among my neighbours; I'll no swaggerers:[3678][3679]
I am in good name and fame with the very best:
shut the door; there comes no swaggerers here: I have70
not lived all this while, to have swaggering now: shut the
door, I pray you.

Fal. Dost thou hear, hostess?

Host. Pray ye, pacify yourself, Sir John: there comes [3680]
no swaggerers here.75

Fal. Dost thou hear? it is mine ancient.

Host. Tilly-fally, Sir John, ne'er tell me: your ancient [3681]
swaggerer comes not in my doors. I was before Master
Tisick, the debuty, t'other day; and, as he said to me, 'twas [3682]
no longer ago than Wednesday last, 'I' good faith,[3683]80
neighbour Quickly,' says he; Master Dumbe, our minister, was [3684]
by then; 'neighbour Quickly,' says he, 'receive those that
are civil; for,' said he, 'you are in an ill name:' now a' said [3685]
so, I can tell whereupon; 'for,' says he, 'you are an honest
woman, and well thought on; therefore take heed what85
guests you receive: receive,' says he, 'no swaggering
companions.' There comes none here: you would bless you to [3686]
hear what he said: no, I'll no swaggerers.

Fal. He's no swaggerer, hostess; a tame cheater, i'[3687][3688]
faith; you may stroke him as gently as a puppy greyhound:[3688]90
he'll not swagger with a Barbary hen, if her [3689]
feathers turn back in any show of resistance. Call him
up, drawer. [Exit First Drawer.

Host. Cheater, call you him? I will bar no honest man
my house, nor no cheater: but I do not love swaggering,95
by my troth; I am the worse, when one says swagger: feel,[3690]
masters, how I shake; look you, I warrant you.[3691]

Dol. So you do, hostess.

Host. Do I? yea, in very truth, do I, an 'twere an [3692]
aspen leaf: I cannot abide swaggerers.100

Pist. God save you, Sir John![3694]

Fal. Welcome, Ancient Pistol. Here, Pistol, I charge
you with a cup of sack: do you discharge upon mine
hostess.

Pist. I will discharge upon her, Sir John, with two105
bullets.

Fal. She is pistol-proof, sir; you shall hardly offend her.[3695]

Host. Come, I'll drink no proofs nor no bullets: I'll [3696]
drink no more than will do me good, for no man's
pleasure, I.110

Pist. Then to you, Mistress Dorothy; I will charge you.

Dol. Charge me! I scorn you, scurvy companion. What!
you poor, base, rascally, cheating, lack-linen mate! Away,
you mouldy rogue, away! I am meat for your master.

Pist. I know you, Mistress Dorothy.115

Dol. Away, you cut-purse rascal! you filthy bung,
away! by this wine, I'll thrust my knife in your mouldy
chaps, an you play the saucy cuttle with me. Away, you [3697]
bottle-ale rascal! you basket-hilt stale juggler, you! Since
when, I pray you, sir? God's light, with two points on [3698]120
your shoulder? much![3699]

Pist. God let me not live, but I will murder your ruff [3700]
for this.

Fal. No more, Pistol; I would not have you go off [3701]
here: discharge yourself of our company, Pistol.[3701]125

Host. No, good Captain Pistol; not here, sweet captain.

Dol. Captain! thou abominable damned cheater, art
thou not ashamed to be called captain? An captains were [3702]
of my mind, they would truncheon you out, for taking [3703]
their names upon you before you have earned them. You130
a captain! you slave, for what? for tearing a poor whore's
ruff in a bawdy-house? He a captain! hang him, rogue!
he lives upon mouldy stewed prunes and dried cakes. A
captain! God's light, these villains will make the word as [3704][3705]
odious as the word 'occupy;' which was an excellent good[3705]135
word before it was ill sorted: therefore captains had need[3705]
look to't.[3706]

Bard. Pray thee, go down, good ancient.

Fal. Hark thee hither, Mistress Doll.

Pist. Not I: I tell thee what, Corporal Bardolph, I140
could tear her: I'll be revenged of her.[3707]

Page. Pray thee, go down.

Pist. I'll see her damned first; to Pluto's damned [3708]
lake, by this hand, to the infernal deep, with Erebus and[3708][3709]
tortures vile also. Hold hook and line, say I. Down,[3708]145
down, dogs! down, faitors! Have we not Hiren here?[3708][3710]

Host. Good Captain Peesel, be quiet; 'tis very late,[3711]
i' faith: I beseek you now, aggravate your choler.[3712]

Pist. These be good humours, indeed! Shall pack-horses,[3713]
And hollow pamper'd jades of Asia,[3713][3714]150
Which cannot go but thirty mile a-day,[3713][3715]
Compare with Cæsars, and with Cannibals,[3713][3716]
And Trojan Greeks? nay, rather damn them with[3713][3717]
King Cerberus; and let the welkin roar.[3713]
Shall we fall foul for toys?[3713]155

Host. By my troth, captain, these are very bitter words.

Bard. Be gone, good ancient: this will grow to a brawl
anon.

Pist. Die men like dogs! give crowns like pins! Have [3718]
we not Hiren here?160

Host. O' my word, captain, there's none such here.[3719]
What the good-year! do you think I would deny her? For [3720][3721]
God's sake, be quiet.[3721]

Pist. Then feed, and be fat, my fair Calipolis. Come,
give's some sack.[3722]165
'Si fortune me tormente, sperato me contento.'[3723]
Fear we broadsides? no, let the fiend give fire:[3724]
Give me some sack: and, sweetheart, lie thou there.[3724]

Come we to full points here; and are etceteras nothing?[3724][3726]

Fal. Pistol, I would be quiet.170

Pist. Sweet knight, I kiss thy neif: what! we have [3727]
seen the seven stars.

Dol. For God's sake, thrust him down stairs: I cannot [3728]
endure such a fustian rascal.

Pist. Thrust him down stairs! know we not Galloway175
nags?

Fal. Quoit him down, Bardolph, like a shove-groat [3729]
shilling: nay, an a' do nothing but speak nothing, a' shall [3730]
be nothing here.

Bard. Come, get you down stairs.180

Pist. What! shall we have incision? shall we imbrue?[3731]

Then death rock me asleep, abridge my doleful days![3731]
Why, then, let grievous, ghastly, gaping wounds[3731]
Untwine the Sisters Three! Come, Atropos, I say![3731][3732]

Host. Here's goodly stuff toward![3733]185

Fal. Give me my rapier, boy.

Dol. I pray thee, Jack, I pray thee, do not draw.[3734]

Fal. Get you down stairs.

Host. Here's a goodly tumult! I'll forswear keeping
house, afore I'll be in these tirrits and frights. So; murder,190
I warrant now. Alas, alas! put up your naked weapons, put
up your naked weapons. [Exeunt Pistol and Bardolph.[3736]

Dol. I pray thee, Jack, be quiet; the rascal's gone.[3737]
Ah, you whoreson little valiant villain, you!

Host. Are you not hurt i' the groin? methought a'[3738]195
made a shrewd thrust at your belly.

Scene IV. London. The Boar's-head Tavern in Eastcheap.