Enter Devitry and four Soldiers.
Devi. No War, no Money, no Master; banish'd the Court, not trusted in the City, whipt out of the Countrey, in what a triangle runs our misery: let me hear which of you has the best voice to beg in, for other hopes or fortunes I see you have not; be not nice, nature provided you with tones for the purpose, the peoples charity was your heritage, and I would see which of you deserves his birth-right.
Omnes. We understand you not Captain.
Devit. You see this cardicue, the last, and the only quintessence of 50 Crowns, distill'd in the limbeck of your gardage, of which happy piece thou shalt be treasurer: now he that can soonest perswade him to part with't, enjoyes it, possesses it, and with it, me and my future countenance.
1. If they want Art to perswade it, I'll keep it my self.
Devit. So you be not a partial judge in your own cause, you shall.
Omnes. A match.
2. I'll begin to you, brave Sir; be proud to make him happy by your liberality, whose tongue vouchsafes now to petition, was never heard before less than to command. I am a Soldier by profession, a Gentleman by birth, and an Officer by place, whose poverty blushes to be the cause, that so high a virtue should descend to the pity of your charity.
1. In any case keep your high stile, it is not charity to shame any man, much less a virtue of your eminence, wherefore preserve your worth, and I'll preserve my money.
3. You perswade? you are shallow, give way to merit: ah by the bread of [God] man, thou hast a bonny countenance and a blith, promising mickle good to a sicker womb, that has trode a long and a sore ground to meet with friends, that will owe much to thy reverence, when they shall hear of thy courtesie to their wandring countreyman.
1. You that will use your friends so hardly to bring them in debt, Sir, will deserve worse of a stranger, wherefore pead on, pead on, I say.
4. It is the Welch must do't, I see, comrade man of urship, St. Tavy be her Patron, the gods of the mountains keep her cow and her cupboard; may she never want the green of the Leek, [nor] the fat of the Onion, if she part with her bounties to him, that is a great deal away from her cozines, and has two big suits in law to recover her heritage.
1. Pardon me Sir, I will have nothing to do with your suits, it comes within the statute of maintenance: home to your cozines, and so[w]e garlick and hempseed, the one will stop your hunger; the other end your suits, gammawash comrade, gammawash.
4. 'Foot he'll hoord all for himself.
Vitry. Yes, let him; now comes my turn, I'll see if he can answer me: save you Sir, they say, you have that I want, Money.
1. And that you are like to want, for ought I perceive yet.
Vitry. Stand, deliver.
1. 'Foot what mean you, you will not rob the Exchequer?
Vitry. Do you prate?
1. Hold, hold, here Captain.
2. Why I could have done this before you.
3. And I.
4. And I.
Vit. You have done this, brave man be proud to make him happy, by the bread of God man, thou hast a bonny countenance, comrade man of urship, St. Tavy be her patron, out upon you, you uncurried colts, walking cans that have no souls in you, but a little Rosin to keep your ribs sweet, and hold in liquor.
Omnes. Why, what would you have us to do Captain?
Devit. Beg, beg, and keep Constables waking, wear out stocks and whipcord, maunder for butter-milk, dye of the Jaundice, yet have the cure about you, Lice, large Lice, begot of your own dust, and the heat of the Brick-kills, may you starve, and fear of the gallows, which is a gentle consumption to't, only preferr it, or may you fall upon your fear, and be hanged for selling those purses to keep you from famine, whose monies my valour empties, and be cast without other evidence; here is my Fort, my Castle of defence, who comes by shall pay me toll, the first purse is your mitimus slaves.
2. The purse, 'foot we'll share in the money Captain, if any come within a furlong of our fingers.
4. Did you doubt but we could steal as well as your self, did not I speak Welsh?
3. We are thieves from our cradles, and will dye so.
Vit. Then you will not beg again.
Omnes. Yes, as you did, stand, and deliver.
2. Hark, here comes handsel, 'tis a Trade quickly set up, and as soon cast down.
Vitry. Have goodness in your minds varlets, and to't like men; he that has more money than we, cannot be our friend, and I hope there is no law for spoiling the enemy.
3. You need not instruct us farther, your example pleads enough.
Devitry. Disperse your selves, and as their company is, fall on.
2. Come, there are a band of 'em, I'll charge single. [Exit Soldier[s].
Enter Protaldye.
Prot. 'Tis wonderful dark, I have lost my man, and dare not call for him, lest I should have more followers than I would pay wages to; what throws am I in, in this travel! these be honourable adventures; had I that honest bloud in my veins again Queen, that your feats and these frights have drain'd from me, honor should pull hard, e'r it drew me into these brakes.
Devitry. Who goes there?
Prot. Hey ho, here's a pang of preferment.
Devi. 'Heart, who goes there?
Prot. He that has no heart to your acquaintance, what shall I do with my Jewels and my Letter, my codpiece that's too loose, good, my boots, who is't that spoke to me? here's a friend.
Devit. We shall find that presently, stand, as you love your safety, stand.
Prot. That unlucky word of standing, has brought me to all this, hold, or I shall never stand you.
Devit. I should know that voice, deliver.
Enter Soldiers.
Prot. All that I have is at your service Gentlemen, and much good may it do you.
Devit. Zones down with him, do you prate?
Prot. Keep your first word as you are Gentlemen, and let me stand, alas, what do you mean?
2. To tye you to us Sir, bind you in the knot of friendship.
Prot. Alas Sir, all the physick in Europe cannot bind me.
Devit. You should have jewels about you, stones, precious stones.
1. Captain away, there's company within hearing, if you stay longer, we are surpriz'd.
Devit. Let the Devil come, I'll pillage this Fregat a little better yet.
2. 'Foot we are lost, they are upon us.
Devit. Ha, upon us, make the least noise, 'tis thy parting gaspe.
3. Which way shall we make Sir?
Devit. Every man his own; do you hear, only bind me, bind me before you goe, and when the company's past, make to this place again, this karvel should have better lading in him, you are slow, why do you not tye harder?
1. You are sure enough I warrant you Sir.
Devit. Darkness befriend you, away. [Exit Soldiers.
Prot. What tyrants have I met with, they leave me alone in the dark, yet would not have me cry. I shall grow wondrous melancho[l]y if I stay long here without company; I was wont to get a nap with saying my prayers, I'll see if they will work upon me now; but then, if I should talk in my sleep, and they hear me, they would make a Recorder of my windpipe, slit my throat: heaven be prais'd, I hear some noise, it may be new purchase, and then I shall have fellows.
Devit. They are gone past hearing, now to taske Devitry, help, help, as you are men help; some charitable hand, relieve a poor distressed miserable wretch, thieves, wicked thieves have robb'd me; bound me.
Prot. 'Foot, would they had gagg'd you too, your noise will betray us, and fetch them again.
Devit. What blessed tongue spake to me, where, where where are you Sir?
Prot. A plague of your bawling throat, we are well enough if you have the grace to be thankful for't, do but snore to me, and 'tis as much as I desire, to pass away time with, till morning, then talk as loud as you please Sir, I am bound not to stir, therefore lie still and snore I say.
Devit. Then you have met with thieves too I see.
Prot. And desire to meet with no more of them.
Devit. Alas, what can we suffer more? they are far enough by this time; have they not all, all that we have Sir?
Prot. No by my faith have they not Sir; I gave them one trick to boot for their learning, my Boots Sir, my Boots, I have sav'd my stock, and my jewels in them, and therefore desire to hear no more of them.
Devit. Now blessing on your wit, Sir, what a dull slave was I, dreamt not of your conveyance, help to unbind me Sir, and I'll undoe you, my life for yours, no worse thief than my self meets you again this night.
Prot. Reach me thy hands.
Devit. Here Sir, here, I could beat my brains out, that could not think of boots, boots Sir, wide topt boots, I shall love them the better whilst I live; but are you sure your Jewels are here Sir?
Prot. Sure sayst thou? ha, ha, ha.
Enter Soldiers.
Devit. A trick to boot, say you; here you dull slaves, purchase, purchase the soul of the Rock, Diamonds, sparkling Diamonds.
Prot. I'm betraid, lost, past recovery, lost, as you are men.
Devit. Nay rook, since you will be prating, we'll share your carrion with you, have you any other conveyance now Sir?
1. 'Foot here are Letters, Epistles, familiar Epistles, we'll see what treasure is in them, they are seal'd sure.
Prot. Gentlemen, as you are Gentlemen spare my Letters, and take all willingly, all: I'll give you a release, a general release, and meet you here to morrow with as much more.
Devit. Nay, since you have your tricks, and your conveyances, we will not leave a wrinkle of you unsearcht.
Prot. Hark, there comes company, you will be betraid, as you love your safeties, beat out my brains, I shall betray you else.
Devit. Treason, unheard of Treason, monstrous, monstrous villanies.
Prot. I confess my self a Traitor, shew your selves good subjects, and hang me up for't.
1. If it be treason, the discovery will get our pardon, Captain.
Devit. Would we were all lost, hang'd, quarter'd, to save this one, one innocent Prince; Thierry's poison'd, by his mother poison'd, the Mistriss to this stallion, who by that poison ne'er shall sleep again.
2. 'Foot let us mince him by piece-meal[e], till he eat himself up.
3. Let us dig out his heart with needles, and half broil him like a Mussel.
Prot. Such another and I prevent you, my bloud's setled already.
Devit. Here's that shall remove it, toad, viper, drag him unto Martel, unnatural par[r]icide, cruel, bloudy woman.
Omnes. On you dogfish, leech, caterpillar.
Devit. A longer sight of him will make my rage turn pity, and with his suddain end, prevent revenge and torture, wicked, wicked Brunhalt. [Exit.
Enter Bawdber and three Courtiers.
Enter Thierry, on a bed, with Doctors and attendants.
Enter Martell, Brunhalt, Devitry, souldiers.
Enter Messenger.
Enter Ordella.
Enter Messenger and Memberge.
[Exeunt Omnes.