The church at Beccles remained without a settled pastor for nearly three years after Mr. Tate’s resignation.

In the interval, John Primrose and Nathaniel Newton were ordained deacons. [161b]  It is most likely that the first meeting-house in Beccles was erected at this period; for on the 11th January, 1696, (O. S.) the ground which had been purchased some years earlier, together with “a house thereupon newly built,” was conveyed to trustees, [161c] and the intention of the parties was declared, by a schedule annexed to the deed, that the house should be employed as a place of public worship for such protestants inhabiting in Beccles and the neighbouring towns, as could not conform to the established religion. [162]

On the 28th July, 1697, Mr. John Killinghall was admitted a member, and on the 13th of the following October, he was set apart to the office of pastor.

He was an excellent preacher, and for some time highly esteemed here.  But in September 1699, the pleasing prospect became clouded by an incorrectness of conduct calling for the severest discipline of the church. [163]  There was no attempt to palliate sin, though it had gained a temporary victory over one, whose degradation could not fail to bring discredit upon the christian profession.  The church proceeded with awful firmness, though not without full proof and a due weighing of all circumstances, to show their obedience to Christ’s institutions, by excluding the offender from their communion.  It has been said that some persons of the establishment considered him to have been too severely treated: it does not appear that he ever thought so himself.  Deeply penitent, not only that he had “wronged his own soul,” but also that he had caused the good of others to be evil spoken of, he applied for some time to secular business, demeaning himself with great modesty and becoming remorse.  These circumstances, combined with a desire on the part of the church to evince the utmost allowable tenderness towards an erring brother, led to his re-admission after the lapse of some months.

These circumstances have long since been made public.  Historical justice forbids their suppression.  Nor is there any sufficient reason for adopting such a course.  The individual himself has joined the assembly above, among whom “there is joy over a sinner that repenteth.”  None who have any pretensions to justice or candour, will deny that occurrences like that in question are rare among the ranks of the dissenting ministry; and none that value the respect of reasonable and unprejudiced men, will turn the failings of an individual to the disparagement of a party, much less of its principles.  “There are too many faults” (to adopt the language of one distinguished by a truly catholic spirit) “among all parties; but God knows it is fitter for us all to mend than to recriminate.  ‘Yea, but the party we are of, professes not so much strictness.’  No?  What party should you be of, that professes less strictness?  What more lax rule of morals have you than other Christians?  Do you not profess subjection to the known rules of the Bible concerning christian and civil conversation?  You do not, sure, profess rebellion and hostility against the Lord that bought you?  Doth not your baptismal covenant, which you are supposed to avow, bind you to as much strictness as any other Christian? . . .  We that think we stand should take heed lest we fall.  It is a costly admonition that is given us in such instances.” [165]

Mr. Killinghall did not again occupy the pulpit at Beccles; but about the year 1702 he was chosen pastor of a numerous and flourishing Independent church at Southwark.  The expectations of those who had been inclined to think favourably of him were not disappointed.  He continued with that society nearly forty years.  He was one of the first six ministers chosen to preach the Horselydown Lecture for the support of a charity school instituted in 1715.  His name is also on the list of subscribing members at the Salters’ Hall synod in 1719.  He died in the month of January, 1740.

In the interval between Mr. Killinghall’s departure and the settlement of the next pastor, the congregation was probably supplied by various ministers.  In July 1701, the ordinance of baptism was administered by “Mr. Green,” most likely the venerable pastor of the church at Tunstead, in Norfolk;—and a visit from so experienced and amiable a Christian, must have been peculiarly cheering and consolatory. [166]

Among other persons admitted to church fellowship on the 2nd of February, 1703–4, were “Mr. Richard Playters,” and “Mr. John Crispe.”  The former surname is now remembered in the neighbourhood of Beccles, principally in connexion with the mansion and estate of Sotterley; the latter is well known, as borne by a widely extended family circle, who, having been yet more honourably distinguished as “the children of the covenant, for four or five generations,” have not suffered “the entail to be cut off.” [167a]  The record adds, “Mr. Crispe was baptized before his receiving in.”

The next pastor was Mr. William Nokes.  In the spring of 1688, he was at the University of Utrecht, surrounded by a constellation of men afterwards distinguished by their talents and usefulness; and in a situation to avail himself of the academical instructions of Witsius, and other eminent professors of divinity. [167b]  The eloquent Saurin was at that time officiating in the French church at Utrecht.  But the students from this country had less dainty fare on the Lord’s day, the minister of the English church being a Dutchman, who spoke the language very imperfectly, and who, though an honest and good man, was an indifferent preacher.  Dr. Calamy mentions this circumstance, as well as the Dutch and French examples of laxity with reference to the sabbath, and the want of discipline in the University, as “very disadvantageous to the moral character and mental improvement of the English students.” [168a]

It does not appear that Mr. Nokes had the charge of a congregation prior to his coming to Beccles.  Nor is the exact date of that event known. [168b]  It is not unlikely that he previously resided for some time in London, for he enjoyed at this period of his life the friendship of Mr. (afterwards Dr.) Isaac Watts. [168c]  To that truly great, and profoundly humble, man, he told (what is seldom told, but in the patient ear of intimate friendship) the tale of the “days of darkness,” which had clouded his spirit.  A description of the state of his mind on religious subjects, which he committed to blank verse, Watts revised and amplified, and has preserved among his Lyric Poems.  It is thus introduced: “The substance of the following copy, and many of the lines, were sent me by an esteemed friend, Mr. W. Nokes, with a desire that I would form them into a Pindaric ode; but I retained his measures, lest I should too much alter his sense.”  The style of poetry is such as fully authorizes the conclusion, that friendship must have furnished the chief inducement to Watts to bestow his pains upon it.  The following passages will afford a specimen.

“A SIGHT OF CHRIST. [169]

. . . . . . . . .

Once I beheld his face, when beams divine
Broke from his eyelids, and unusual light
Wrapt me at once in glory and surprise.
My joyful heart, high leaping in my breast,
With transport cried, ‘This is the Christ of God:’
Then threw my arms around in sweet embrace,
And clasp’d, and bow’d, adoring low, till I was lost in him.

. . . . . .

But the bright shine and presence soon withdrew;
I sought him whom I love, but found him not.
I felt his absence, and with strongest cries
Proclaimed, ‘Where Jesus is not, all is vain.’

. . . . . .

Oh that the day, the joyful day, were come,
When the first Adam from his ancient dust
Crown’d with new honours, shall revive, and see
Jesus his Son and Lord; while shouting saints
Surround their King, and God’s eternal Son
Shines in the midst . . .

   Death and the tempter, and the man of sin,
Now at the bar arraign’d, in judgment cast,
Shall vex the saints no more; but perfect love
And loudest praises, perfect joy create,
While ever-circling years proclaim the blissful state.”

In the same year in which Watts accepted the pastoral office, he addressed to Mr. Nokes the subjoined lines.  The allusion to the sympathy of minds overwhelmed with floods of sorrow, renders it probable that Mr. Nokes had already been the subject of some deep affliction, while his subsequent history induces the supposition that it might he somewhat similar to that, which for so many years deprived Watts’s church of his public services.

“TO MR. WILLIAM NOKES.
Friendship.
1702. [171]

   “Friendship! thou charmer of the mind,
   Thou sweet deluding ill,
The brightest minute mortals find,
   And sharpest hour we feel.

   “Fate has divided all our shares
   Of pleasure and of pain;
In love the comforts and the cares
   Are mix’d and join’d again.

   “But whilst in floods our sorrow rolls
   And drops of joy are few,
This dear delight of mingling souls
   Serves but to swell our woe.

   “Oh, why should bliss depart in haste,
   And friendship stay to moan?
Why the fond passion cling so fast,
   When every joy is gone?

   “Yet never let our hearts divide,
   Nor death dissolve the chain:
For love and joy were once allied,
   And must be joined again.”

For several years the ministry of Mr. Nokes, at Beccles, was attended with success.

In the early part of 1710, however, there were some things in him of which his people disapproved; chiefly, it has been supposed, his disposition to conform.  But he was not hastily or harshly dismissed.  The case was submitted to the ministers of the neighbouring churches in Norfolk and Suffolk, for their advice. [172]  The result was, however, a determination, recorded in the church book and signed by the deacons and several other members, to withdraw their communion from him, with a renewed resolution stedfastly “to adhere to their church covenant, and pursue the common interest of Christ among them.”

Mr. Nokes did not, as has been imagined, immediately conform.  In the same year in which he left Beccles, he undertook the charge of the congregation at Ropemaker’s Alley, London, which had been for many years under the pastoral care of Mr. Walter Cross, a minister of considerable attainments. [173a]

In 1712, Mr. Nokes had a good living given him in the Church of England, [173b] which he accepted.  Little more is known of him.  Mr. Harmer says, “he was afterwards disordered in his mind, and died in one of the streets of London;—some think, on the steps of St. Andrew’s church, Holborn.” [174]

For about a year the church was without a pastor.  On the 16th May, 1711, Mr. Edmund Spencer was received into communion with them, preparatory to his assuming that office.  They seem to have been very happy with him for many years.  But growing old and infirm, he received a good deal of uneasiness from a part of the congregation, who wished him to resign.  The mischief was greatly aggravated through the undue influence exercised by an individual who introduced some preachers from a distance.  These occupied the pulpit, while the aged pastor consented to continue preaching in a private house.  The most eminent ministers of Norfolk and Suffolk evinced the greatest respect for Mr. Spencer, and expressed their disapprobation of what they regarded as a sad violation of Christian tenderness.  Mr. Spencer was pastor at Beccles nearly twenty-five years, and died there about 1736.  His remains were carried to Norwich, and deposited in the Congregational meeting-house, St. Clement’s,—several of his own people attending.

He left one daughter, who, some time before his death, was married to a Mr. Pougher, a gentleman of fortune, educated for the ministry, but who, being blind, lived in a private capacity.  He was a remarkable example of that beautiful provision of nature, by which the sense of feeling is improved to such exquisite acuteness, as almost to compensate for the loss of sight. [175a]

At a meeting held 13th March, 1722–3, John Utting and Philip Lefabuer were ordained to the office of deacons “without imposition of hands.”

Mr. Spencer was succeeded by Mr. Thomas Tingey, a son of Mr. Tingey, first of Northampton, afterwards of Fetter-lane, London. [175b]  He had pursued his studies at the academy in London, under Dr. Ridgley.

Mr. Tingey, the subject of this notice, preached his first sermon “in Mr. Russell’s place,” from Jerem. i. 6, “Then said I, Ah, Lord God; behold I cannot speak, for I am a child.”  On which occasion he “gave uncommon content and satisfaction,” and his friends were encouraged to look forward with sanguine expectations of his future instrumentality in promoting the glory of God, and the salvation of souls. [176a]

About 1730, he settled with the congregation at Lower Rotherhithe, as successor to Mr. Thomas Masters.  He is described as possessing at that time good pulpit talents, combined with too much self-esteem and instability of character. [176b]  But he was a young man, and there was reason to hope that time and experience would correct these failings.

On the 27th August, 1736, he was united to the church at Beccles; and on the 8th of the following month was ordained as its pastor, with the laying on of hands.

Mr. Nathaniel Newton, who appears to have been an active deacon nearly forty-four years, died 12th June, 1739, and was buried in the meeting-house.

Mr. Tingey married in March, 1738, and continued at Beccles till his death, but the congregation declined in numbers under his ministry, and some who had adopted antipædo-baptist sentiments withdrew, and formed a distinct church. [177]

Mr. Tingey was generally considered a good preacher; but during the last few years of his life he was induced to involve himself in secular business, which tended to lower him in the esteem of the professing world.

He died about October, 1749, [178a] and was interred in the burial-ground adjoining the meeting-house.  A stone was erected to his memory, the inscription upon which, so far as it is now legible, is as follows:—

HERE LIETH THE BODY
OF THOM^S. TINGEY,
PASTOR OF THIS CHURCH
13 YEARS,
WHO DEPARTED THIS LIFE
. . . 1749, [178b]
. . .

From that time to Midsummer, 1757, the congregation was supplied by Mr. William Lincoln.  He had become a student in the academy at Northampton under Dr. Doddridge, in 1745, and came from thence to Beccles.  Afterwards he removed to Bury St. Edmunds; was ordained pastor of the congregation assembling in Churchgate street in that town, September 7th, 1757; and died there April 22nd, 1792, at the age of sixty-four. [179a]

After Mr. Lincoln left Beccles, various ministers occupied the pulpit some months; particularly Mr. John Hurrion, a grandson of Mr. Hurrion, first of Denton, and afterwards of Harecourt, London, and son of Mr. Samuel Hurrion, of Guestwick. [179b]  He became, in August, 1761, pastor of the Independent church at Southwold, where he died much respected, March 13th, 1793, aged fifty-six.

He was born at Cockermouth, in Cumberland, August 22nd, 1735.  From his father, a pious schoolmaster, he received an education suitable for the station of a humble tradesman, for which he was intended.  But the son afforded an example of natural talent, and indefatigable industry, combining with providential circumstances, to surmount all the difficulties which lie in the path to useful and honourable distinction.  Removing to London that he might improve in his business, he happily connected himself with a master who could appreciate his solid abilities and literary taste.  It was soon discovered that his highest ambition was to become a christian minister; and with the assistance of some gentlemen of wealth and philanthropy, he was placed at the Independent academy at Mile-end.  He there applied to study with such incessant diligence, that his progress soon excited the admiration of his tutors and fellow-students.  Quitting the academy with an unusual share of attainments, but having no immediate prospect of settling with a congregation, Mr. Fell became assistant in a school at Norwich.  There he probably remained until he was invited, in 1762, to remove to Beccles to supply the vacant pulpit.  He found the congregation few in number, but affectionate in private, and serious and attentive in public.

During his residence in Beccles, he was cordially received into what is termed “the best society.”  He evinced the greatest charity and candour towards those whose views of religion he could not approve; and while he associated with the advocates of the Established church, he never hesitated to avow his ardent and unalterable attachment to the interests of civil and religious liberty.  His manners were frank, easy, and unaffected, and his conversation cheerful, interesting, and instructive.  He did not allow his quick penetration and his readiness of utterance to betray him into dogmatism or parade: and he knew how to defend himself, with point and humour, from such an imputation.  Falling accidentally into company with Dr. King of Harecourt, London, that serious, but cheerful minister rallied him upon his alleged sprightliness of wit and acuteness of criticism.  “Well, young man,” said he, “I hear you are a critic;—pray, sir, how do you define a critic?”  “Doctor,” replied Mr. Fell, “I never did define a critic; but if I were to attempt it, I think I should say, he is one who labours to make easy things difficult.”  An answer which is said to have occasioned some amusement at the expense of the aggressor.

In May, 1770, he visited, with a view to the pastoral charge, the Independent congregation at Thaxted, in Essex.  There he was ordained in the following October, and soon made himself useful and beloved.  But he was calculated for a sphere of usefulness wider, or at least more difficult to fill, than the charge of a country congregation.  After several years’ residence at Thaxted, he was prevailed on to become the resident classical tutor at the academy in which he had been educated for the ministry, and which had been removed, in 1770, to Homerton.  He had not been long there, before a misunderstanding occurred which terminated in his dismissal.  In this affair, the conduct of his adversaries appears to have been not unmingled with severity.  Several highly respectable persons who were of this opinion, raised an annual stipend of £100, for which he was to deliver a course of twelve lectures on the evidences of Christianity.  He entered zealously upon this task in the year 1797, but had only delivered four lectures, when death interfered with the completion of the plan.  He expired on the 6th, and was interred in Bunhillfields on the 15th September in that year, his remains being followed by a train of fourteen mourning coaches and several carriages.

Besides the four lectures before mentioned, (which were continued by Dr. Henry Hunter,) and several other publications, he was the author of answers to the Rev. Hugh Farmer’s Essays on the Demoniacs and on the Idolatry of Greece and Rome; in which productions he displayed much acuteness and learning. [184]

After Mr. Fell’s removal to Thaxted, Mr. Newton of Norwich, Mr. Harmer of Wattisfield, and other ministers; continued to preach at Beccles; and the congregation had for rather more than half a year preceding midsummer, 1771, the services of a Mr. Cole.  It is surmised that this must have been the learned Baxter Cole, who, prior to 1765, was morning preacher to the congregation in Rope-makers’ alley, London, of which the Rev. Thomas Towle was pastor.  In that year he went to Wymondham, in Norfolk, where he preached till May, 1766.  He never undertook any pastoral charge; but was a close student, and superintended the printing of an edition of Dr. Lardner’s Works.  He also revised some of the publications of the truly great Howard.  Mr. Cole died at Sible Hedingham, in Essex, his native county, Oct. 13th, 1794, at an advanced age.  He was a firm dissenter and Independent, a strenuous assertor of civil and religious liberty; and a man of considerable attainments, of the strictest integrity, and true piety. [185]

But although the preaching of the gospel had been maintained with little intermission during the long period which had elapsed from Mr. Tingey’s decease, the church had suffered much for want of a stated pastor.  Member after member had been removed by death, and none were added.  In the meeting-house, where the remnant of the people usually worshipped, the Lord’s supper had not been administered for more than twenty years.  No regular discipline had been kept up; and the interest itself seemed on the point of expiring.  But it pleased God in answer to many prayers, to shine upon the decaying cause, and to unfold a new and more cheering era of its history.—“Happy assembly above, which knows no diminution, but rejoices in perpetual accessions to its numbers, perhaps in continual additions to its knowledge and consolations too!” [186]

CHAPTER VII.

Joseph Heptinstall, pastor of the Independent church at Beccles from 1773 to 1802, was born at Walsall, in Staffordshire, January 26th, 1742.  He was blessed with a pious and tender mother, who often took him into her closet, and on her knees prayed fervently to God on his behalf.  Her supplications were not immediately answered.  At the early age of twelve years, her son manifested the depravity of his nature, by avowing himself an atheist.  But being providentially led to contemplate a flower in his father’s garden, he was convinced that its beautiful structure must have been the work of a First Cause, that created and sustains all things.  Conscience, in conjunction with the sacred Scriptures, impressively taught him that this Being was holy and just, and therefore would approve and reward holiness, and abhor and punish sin.  These convictions led him to seek salvation “by the works of the law;” but he mentions that about this time, he read Law’s “Christian Perfection,” and imbibed more correct views of the purity and spirituality of the divine commands.  Comparing his conduct with them, he was convinced of the awful state to which sin had reduced him, and greatly alarmed at the consequences of rebelling against God.  With a mind thus depressed and agitated, he repaired to the throne of grace, imploring the mercy of God, and pleading his promises through the Mediator.  He derived much consolation from that important passage of Scripture, “Believe on the Lord Jesus Christ, and thou shalt be saved.”  Being enabled by the Holy Spirit to receive the gospel, he enjoyed peace with God, and the happiness of those to whom iniquity is not imputed.  He now began to consider how he might best glorify God, and serve him in the world; and determined, in the strength of God, to devote himself to the christian ministry.  This resolution met with the warmest approbation of his parents.  They were zealous advocates of the religious establishment of this country, and had the means of amply providing for their son within its pale, through an aunt, who readily promised him a living of which she had the patronage.

With these views he commenced a preparatory course of study for the University of Oxford, where at the age of seventeen he was to have been admitted.  Meanwhile he wisely examined the Thirty-nine Articles, which he would have been called upon to subscribe.  He appears to have hesitated with regard to that “Of Predestination and Election;” and he was unwilling to recognise as a part of his creed, a doctrine which, at that time, was not so in reality.  On the other hand he was much distressed at the idea of relinquishing his intention to become a minister; and, in his estimation, to abandon the church of England was the same, for hitherto nothing had ever induced him to cross the threshold of a dissenting meeting-house.

In this unsettled state of mind he was introduced to an aged gentleman, to whom he imparted his feelings, and who was the means of removing not only his objections to the doctrine of election, but also his prejudices against dissent.  In consequence of this conversation he relinquished all thoughts of Oxford, and after a short time entered the Independent academy at Mile-end, afterwards at Homerton, [190a] in which he remained upwards of seven years. [190b]

About midsummer, 1771, having finished his studies, he visited Beccles, by the advice of his friend the Rev. Thomas Towle, with the hope of being instrumental in reviving and re-organizing the almost expiring interest.  There remained of Mr. Tingey’s church only four members, one of whom was his widow.  Another who was residing at Bury, communicated, through Mr. Harmer of Wattisfield, his acquiescence in the arrangements of his brethren.

On the 8th May, 1772, the Rev. Thomas Bocking of Denton, with two messengers from the church under his care, attended at Beccles; and in their presence, three persons, [191] on a profession of their faith in Christ, were admitted to a participation with the small remnant of the church in the privileges of christian fellowship.  On the following day Mr. Bocking administered to them the Lord’s supper, when also another member was admitted, under a testimonial from the church of Scotland.

On the 15th May, 1773, Mr. Heptinstall received a unanimous invitation from the church and congregation, to become their pastor, which he accepted; and on the 27th July he was ordained over them, “to the great consolation of the neighbouring churches and ministers.”

The services were introduced by Mr. Bocking. [192]  Referring to the interest evinced by the elders of other religious societies on this occasion, he disclaimed on their behalf any pretensions to ecclesiastical authority.  “In truth,” said he, “there is no power in the church but what is ministerial; which, as it comes from Jesus Christ, is revealed in the Scriptures, and there stands as a directory both of faith and manners.  We deny that the ‘church hath power to decree rites or ceremonies, and authority in controversies of faith,’ most heartily adhering to this description, that ‘the visible church of Christ is a congregation of faithful men, in which the pure word of God is preached, and the sacraments be duly ministered according to Christ’s ordinance, in all those things that of necessity are requisite to the same.’” . . . “Happy will it be,” he added, “if former neglects and untoward circumstances should be improved for greater diligence, and the lamp which was just out, should so revive, as to burn with a steady and persevering flame.”

These anticipations were mercifully realized.  In 1779 the number of communicants was augmented to thirty-six, and in 1785 to forty-six; and Mr. Heptinstall had the happiness to preside over an increasing and harmonious church to the end of his days.

But while he was decided in his own sentiments, he was distinguished by his candour, moderation, and benevolence, towards those who differed from him.  His example served, in a great measure, to diffuse the same spirit through his own congregation, and to promote a friendly intercourse with persons of other denominations.

The late venerable pastor of the neighbouring Congregational church at Bungay, the Rev. Robert Shufflebottom, who knew him long and intimately, always mentioned him as a brother greatly beloved. [194]  He lived many years under the fear that, in his conflict with the last enemy, he should dishonour the cause of his Lord and Master.  This state of mind was probably aggravated by profuse bleedings at the nose, which weakened his frame and broke his spirits.  It was his earnest wish not to remain longer in the body, than he could preach the glad tidings of salvation to perishing sinners.  More than once he expressed a wish to die either in the pulpit or soon after leaving it.

This desire was granted.  On the morning of the Lord’s day, August 29th, 1802, he arose in his usual health, and performed the public service with his accustomed energy.  But on leaving the pulpit he complained of violent headache, which after dinner had increased to such a degree, as to be attended almost with loss of sight.  In vain were expostulations used with him not to attempt the afternoon service.  Thinking he should feel better after he had begun preaching, he again ascended the pulpit, read a chapter with evident difficulty, and took for his text that memorable passage, John i. 29, “Behold the Lamb of God, which taketh away the sin of the world!”  His impaired vision preventing the use of his notes, he preached extempore about half an hour, and closed the public worship of the day with the most impressive prayer his congregation had ever heard from his lips.  A few minutes only had elapsed before his recollection failed.  After he was taken home, he spoke only once, referring to the pain in his head and begging for assistance.  He continued in a state of stupor till about seven o’clock in the evening, when he gave signs of returning reason, by pressing the hand of his afflicted partner.  About ten o’clock he closed his earthly sabbath, by entering upon that which is eternal. [196]

On the following sunday afternoon, the Rev. H. W. Gardiner of Southwold delivered an impressive discourse upon the occasion, from Phil. ii. 16, “Holding forth the word of life, that I may rejoice in the day of Christ, that I have not run in vain, neither laboured in vain.”

His remains were interred in the church-yard of Mutford, near those of his wife’s relatives.  A small monument was erected in the meeting-house to his memory.  It describes him as having laboured “in the christian ministry with fidelity and success.”  The inscription upon his grave-stone is as follows:

Isaac Sloper was born at Devizes, in Wiltshire, May 30th, 1779, and was baptized soon after, by the Rev. Rowland Hill.  His parents, though not distinguished by rank or riches, were endowed with those honours which come from above, and died in the well-founded hope of the “crown of glory which fadeth not away.”  He received his early instructions under the Rev. J. L. Fenner, the Presbyterian minister at Devizes, afterwards of Taunton, in Somersetshire, where he died in 1834, greatly advanced in life.

“During my residence at Cheltenham the serious impressions which I had acquired from the example, instruction, and prayers of my parents, were almost entirely destroyed.  Though I verified the assertion of the wise man, ‘The way of transgressors is hard,’ in process of time my conscience would more easily permit me to neglect prayer and the Scriptures, think lightly of the sabbath, and prefer the society of the gay and dissipated to that of persons religions and grave.  To the brink of ruin was I hurried . . .  But my destruction was prevented by an omnipotent arm, and sovereign grace.  By reflection and a serious train of thought, I was convinced of my excessive folly and irreligious conduct.  I was enabled to betake myself to prayer, and to pay a diligent regard to the other means of grace.  At first my convictions were attended with much dejection of mind, and fears concerning the important matters of my soul, of death and eternity.  But the God of all grace soon permitted me to experience that the ways of true religion are ‘ways of pleasantness,’ and that all ‘her paths are peace.’

“Brought to see the evil of sin, and to feel the importance of true religion for the present life, and for a future state, I possessed a strong desire to devote myself to the solemn and arduous work of the christian ministry, that I might labour to convince my fellow-creatures of their danger, and invite them to receive the grace of the blessed Redeemer, and seek the honours, riches, and happiness of eternity.”

“My ever dear Isaac,

“If you had not been peculiarly near to me, I could not have spared a moment for you to-day.  Your desire has more weight with me than a command would have from many of your superiors.  I therefore drop you a hasty line, to exhort you to give yourself unto prayer; to watch and wait for the openings of providence; and to be fully satisfied, upon the strictest and narrowest examination, that you stand prepared for all the difficulties of the gospel ministry, as well as to be disposed to promise yourself all the comforts it affords, in conjunction with the improvement preparatory to it.  I am truly glad you can lay yourself unreservedly open to Him who seeth and knoweth all things, even the secret recesses of the soul, and the spring and motive of every action.

“I see you will find some difficulty to get disengaged from Mr. P.  I need not say, behave handsomely upon the occasion; and while you are firm in your resolution, be prudent.  You remind me of the great difficulty I was under when a young man; how sanguine, and consequently, how restless to carry my point.  Though, in fact, it was God’s point I could not move in my own time, nor in my own way. [202]  Your line is drawn, and you will be that which God would have you.  Maintain communion with him, and when he hides his face, beg him to show you the cause, that your humiliation may be in proportion to the sin he means to resent.  Remember, my dear fellow, that there are seasons wherein faith must be called into exercise, that when you talk of faith, you may talk by experience.  At all times look unto Jesus; and when you cannot look immediately to him, look after him.  Resist that enemy, stedfast in the faith, who is permitted to buffet you; and every blow he gives you will recoil upon himself.

“You may be sure I will keep the object in view.  I am praying for direction, and as directed, will act . . .

“I can add no more than a heart full of good wishes, and my constant prayers.  You are interested in these, because I am, my ever dear Isaac,

Yours very affectionately,
in our dear Lord Jesus,
Cornelius Winter.”

“Painswick,
Jan. 21, 1797.”