Young Wife

(Pours a glass of cognac)

Young Man

I want to tell you something, Emma. If you’re ashamed of being here—if you don’t care for me—if you don’t feel you are all the happiness in the world for me—then you’d better go.—

Young Wife

Yes, I shall go.

Young Man

(Taking hold of her hand) But if you feel that I cannot live without you, that a kiss upon your hand means more to me than all the caresses of all the women in the whole world… Emma, I’m not like other young men, who are experienced in love-making—perhaps, I am too naïve … I…

Young Wife

But suppose you were like other young men?

Young Man

Then you wouldn’t be here to-night—because you are not like other women.

Young Wife

How do you know that?

Young Man

(Drawing her close beside him on the sofa)

I have thought a lot about it. I know you are unhappy.

Young Wife

(Pleased) Yes.

Young Man

Life is so dreary, so empty—and then,—so short—so horribly short! There is only one happiness—to find some one who loves you.—

Young Wife

(Takes a candied pear from the table, and puts it into her mouth)

Young Man

Give me half of it!

(She offers it to him with her lips)

Young Wife

(Catches the hands of the Young Man that threaten to stray) What are you doing, Alfred?… Is that the way you keep your promise?

Young Man

(Swallows the pear, then, more daringly) Life is so short.

Young Wife

(Weakly) But that’s no reason—

Young Man

(Mechanically) Oh, yes.

Young Wife

(Still more weakly) Alfred, you promised to be good … and then it’s so light…

Young Man

Come, come, you only, only…

(He lifts her from the sofa)

Young Wife

What are you doing?

Young Man

It’s not so light in the other room.

Young Wife

Is there another room?

Young Man

(Drawing her with him) A beautiful one … and quite dark.

Young Wife

We’d better stay in here.

Young Man

(Already past the bedroom portières with her, loosening her waist)

Young Wife

You are so… O merciful Heaven, what are you doing with me!—Alfred!

Young Man

I adore you, Emma!

Young Wife

So then wait, wait a little… (Weakly) Go… I’ll call you.

Young Man

Let you help me—let us help you (becoming confused) … let … me—help—you.

Young Wife

But you’ll tear everything.

Young Man

You have no corset on?

Young Wife

I never wear a corset. Odilon[2] doesn’t wear any either. But you can unbutton my shoes.

Young Man

(Unbuttons her shoes and kisses her feet)

Young Wife

(Slips into bed) Oh, how cold it is.

Young Man

It’ll be warm in a minute.

Young Wife

(Laughing softly) Do you think so?

Young Man

(Slightly hurt, to himself) She ought not to have said that.

(He undresses in the dark)

Young Wife

(Tenderly) Come, come, come!

Young Man

(Mollified) In a minute, dear—

Young Wife

It smells like violets here.

Young Man

That’s you… Yes (To her) you, yourself.

Young Wife

Alfred… Alfred!!!!

Young Man

Emma…


Young Man

Apparently I love you too much … yes… I am as if out of my senses.

Young Wife

… …

Young Man

I have been beside myself all these days. I was afraid of this.

Young Wife

Don’t mind.

Young Man

Oh, certainly not. It’s perfectly natural, if one…

Young Wife

No … don’t… You are nervous. Calm yourself first.

Young Man

Do you know Stendhal?

Young Wife

Stendhal?

Young Man

The “Psychologie de l’amour.”

Young Wife

No. Why do you ask me?

Young Man

There’s a story in that book which is very much to the point.

Young Wife

What kind of a story?

Young Man

There is a gathering of cavalry officers—

Young Wife

Yes.

Young Man

And they are telling each other about their love affairs. And each one of them tells that with the woman he loved best—most passionately, you know … that with him, that then—well, in short, that the same thing happened just as it happened to me now.

Young Wife

Yes.

Young Man

That is very characteristic.

Young Wife

Yes.

Young Man

The story is not yet ended. One of them maintained … that this thing had never in his life happened to him, but, adds Stendhal—he was known as a great boaster.

Young Wife

And.—

Young Man

And, yet, it makes you feel blue—that’s the stupid side of it, even though it’s so unimportant.

Young Wife

Of course. Anyway, you know … you promised me to be good.

Young Man

Sh-h! Don’t laugh. That doesn’t help things any.

Young Wife

But no, I’m not laughing. That story of Stendhal’s is really interesting. I have always thought that only older people … or people who … you know, people who have lived fast…

Young Man

The idea! That has nothing to do with it. By the way, I had completely forgotten the prettiest of Stendhal’s stories. One of the cavalry officers went so far as to say that he stayed for three or even six nights… I don’t remember now—that is he stayed with a woman, whom he wanted for weeks—desirée—you understand—and nothing happened all those nights except that they wept for happiness … both…

Young Wife

Both?

Young Man

Yes. Does that surprise you? It seems very comprehensible—especially when two people love each other.

Young Wife

But surely there are many who don’t weep.

Young Man

(Nervously) Certainly … however, that is an exceptional case.

Young Wife

Oh—I thought Stendhal said that all cavalry officers weep on such an occasion.

Young Man

Look here, now you are laughing at me.

Young Wife

What an idea! Don’t be childish, Alfred.

Young Man

Well, it makes me nervous anyway… Besides I have the feeling that you are thinking about it all the time. That embarrasses me still more.

Young Wife

I’m not thinking of it at all.

Young Man

If I were only sure that you love me.

Young Wife

Do you want still further proofs?

Young Man

Didn’t I tell you … you are always laughing at me.

Young Wife

How so? Come, let me hold your sweet little head.

Young Man

Oh, that feels so good.

Young Wife

Do you love me?

Young Man

Oh, I’m so happy.

Young Wife

But you needn’t cry about it.

Young Man

(Moving away from her, highly irritated) There! Again! I begged you not to…

Young Wife

To tell you that you shouldn’t cry…

Young Man

You said: “You needn’t cry about it.”

Young Wife

You are nervous, sweetheart.

Young Man

I know.

Young Wife

But you ought not to be. It is beautiful even that … that we are together like good comrades…

Young Man

Now you are beginning again.

Young Wife

Don’t you remember! That was one of our first talks. We wanted to be comrades, nothing more. Oh, how nice that was … at my sister’s ball in January, during the quadrille… For heaven’s sake, I should have gone long ago… My sister expects me—what shall I tell her… Good-by, Alfred—

Young Man

Emma!—You will leave me in this way!

Young Wife

Yes—so!—

Young Man

Five minutes more…

Young Wife

All right. Five minutes more. But you must promise me … not to move?… Yes?… I want to give you a good-by kiss… Psst … be still … don’t move, I told you, otherwise I’ll get up at once, you, my sweetheart, sweet…

Young Man

Emma … my ador… …


Young Wife

My Alfred!

Young Man

Oh, it is heaven to be with you.

Young Wife

But now I’ve really got to go.

Young Man

Oh, let your sister wait.

Young Wife

I must go home. It is much too late to see my sister. How late is it?

Young Man

How should I know?

Young Wife

You might look at your watch.

Young Man

My watch is in my waistcoat.

Young Wife

Get it.

Young Man

(Gets up with a jump) Eight o’clock.

Young Wife

(Jumps up quickly) For heaven’s sake… Quick, Alfred, give me my stockings. What shall I say? They must be waiting for me at home … eight o’clock…

Young Man

When shall I see you again?

Young Wife

Never.

Young Man

Emma! Don’t you love me any more?

Young Wife

Just for that reason. Give me my shoes.

Young Man

Never again? Here are your shoes.

Young Wife

My button-hook is in my bag. Please, be quick…

Young Man

Here is the button-hook.

Young Wife

Alfred, this may cost us our lives.

Young Man

(Unpleasantly moved) In what way?

Young Wife

What shall I say, if he asks me where I’ve been?

Young Man

At your sister’s.

Young Wife

Oh, if I only could lie.

Young Man

Well, you’ll have to.

Young Wife

Everything for a man like you. Oh, come here … let me give you a last kiss. (She embraces him)—And now—leave me by myself, go in the other room.—I can’t dress, if you are around.

Young Man

(Goes into the drawing-room, where he dresses. He eats some pastry and drinks a glass of cognac)

Young Wife

(Calls after a while) Alfred!

Young Man

Yes, sweetheart.

Young Wife

Isn’t it better that we didn’t weep?

Young Man

(Smiling, not without pride) How can you talk so frivolously?—

Young Wife

Oh, how difficult it will be now—if we should meet by chance in company?

Young Man

By chance?—sometime?… Surely you are coming to Lobheimer’s to-morrow?

Young Wife

Yes. You too?

Young Man

Of course. May I ask for the cotillion?

Young Wife

Oh, I shall not go. What do you imagine?—I would… (She enters the drawing-room fully dressed, and takes a piece of chocolate pastry) sink through the floor.

Young Man

To-morrow at Lobheimer’s. That’s fine.

Young Wife

No, no… I shall decline … certainly decline—

Young Man

Well, the day after to-morrow … here.

Young Wife

The idea!

Young Man

At six…

Young Wife

There are cabs at this corner, aren’t there?

Young Man

Yes, as many as you want. Well, the day after to-morrow, here at six o’clock. Please say “yes,” sweetheart.

Young Wife

… We’ll discuss that to-morrow night during the cotillion.

Young Man

(Embracing her) My angel.

Young Wife

Don’t muss my hair again.

Young Man

Well then, to-morrow night at Lobheimer’s, and the day after to-morrow in my arms.

Young Wife

Good-by…

Young Man

(Suddenly anxious again) And what will you—tell him to-night?—

Young Wife

Don’t ask me … don’t ask me … it’s too terrible.—Why do I love you so?—Good-by—If I meet any one again on the stairway, I shall faint.—Ugh!

Young Man

(Kisses her hand for the last time)

Young Wife

(Exit)

Young Man

(Remains standing. Then he sits down on the couch. He smiles reflectively, and says to himself) Now, at last, I have an affair with a respectable woman.


THE YOUNG WIFE AND THE HUSBAND

A comfortable bedroom. It is half past ten at night. The Wife is lying abed and reading. The Husband enters the room in a dressing gown.

Young Wife

(Without looking up) You have stopped working?

Husband

Yes. I’m too tired. And besides…

Young Wife

Well?—

Husband

I felt so lonely at my desk all at once. A longing for you came over me.

Young Wife

(Looking up) Really?

Husband

(Sitting down on the bed beside her) Don’t read any more to-night. You will ruin your eyes.

Young Wife

(Closing the book) What’s the matter with you?

Husband

Nothing, child. I’m in love with you. But you know that.

Young Wife

One might almost forget it sometimes.

Husband

One must forget it sometimes.

Young Wife

Why?

Husband

Because, otherwise, marriage would be something imperfect. It would … how shall I express it … it would lose its sanctity.

Young Wife

Oh…

Husband

Believe me—it is so… If we hadn’t sometimes forgotten that we are in love with each other during the five years we have been married—we might not be in love any longer.

Young Wife

That’s beyond me.

Husband

The case is simply this. We have had perhaps ten or twelve love-affairs with each other… Doesn’t it seem that way to you, too?

Young Wife

I haven’t counted them!

Husband

If we had enjoyed the first one to the last drop, if I had from the very beginning surrendered without restraint to my passion for you, the same thing would have happened to us that has happened to millions of other lovers. We would be tired of each other.

Young Wife

Ah … do you mean that?

Husband

Believe me—Emma—in the early days of our marriage, I was afraid that this would happen.

Young Wife

I, too.

Husband

See? Am I not right? Therefore, it is wise every now and then to live only as good friends.

Young Wife

Oh.

Husband

And some can always experience new honeymoons, especially since I am careful never to let such weeks of honeymoon…

Young Wife

Run into months.

Husband

That is true.

Young Wife

And now … now it seems we are at the end of another such period of friendship—?

Husband

(Pressing her tenderly to him) So it might seem.

Young Wife

But if … if I should feel differently?

Husband

You couldn’t. You are the wisest and most delicious being in the world. I am very happy to have found you.

Young Wife

You know how to make love very well—every now and then.

Husband

(Who has also gone to bed) Well, for a man who has looked about in the world a bit—come, lay your head on my shoulder—who has seen something of the world, marriage is really something much more mysterious than it is for you sheltered young girls. You come to us entirely innocent and … to a certain degree, at least, ignorant of things, and therefore you really understand the essence of love much better than we.

Young Wife

(Laughing) Oh!

Husband

Certainly. For we get all tangled up by the many experiences that we have to go through before marriage. You women, of course, hear a lot of things, you know a lot of things, no doubt read too much, but you can’t have any real idea of the things men experience. We men really become quite disgusted with this thing people call love, for the kind of creatures to which we are restricted really are…

Young Wife

Tell me—what kind of creatures are they?

Husband

(Kissing her on the forehead) You ought to be glad, dear child, that you never have had a glimpse of relations like that. After all most of the poor things deserve pity—it is not for us to throw stones.

Young Wife

But—this pity—it doesn’t seem quite appropriate to me.

Husband

(With gentle benevolence) They deserve it. You young girls of good family, who wait quietly under the care of your parents for the man who desires you in marriage,—you won’t know the misery that drives most of these poor creatures into the arms of sin.

Young Wife

Do all of them really sell themselves?

Husband

I would hardly say that. I don’t mean the material misery alone. There is also—one might call it—a moral misery, a lack of appreciation for what is permissible, and, especially, for what is noble.

Young Wife

But why are they to be pitied?—They seem to enjoy themselves.

Husband

You have strange ideas, my child. You must not forget that such people are predestined by nature to sink lower and lower. There is no stopping them.

Young Wife

(Cuddling to him) It seems pleasant to fall.

Husband

(Hurt) How can you say things like that, Emma? I should think that to good women like you, nothing could be more repulsive than those who are not!

Young Wife

Of course, Karl, of course. I was just thinking. Go on, tell me more. I like it when you talk like this. Tell me something.

Husband

What?—

Young Wife

Why—about these people.

Husband

The idea!

Young Wife

But, I asked you a long time ago—you know, when we were first married to tell me something of your younger days.

Husband

Why does that interest you?

Young Wife

Aren’t you my husband? Isn’t it a sort of injustice that I really know nothing about your past?

Husband

You surely don’t think I have such bad taste, as to—No, Emma … it would be like a profanation.

Young Wife

And yet you have … heaven knows how many other women you have held in your arms, just as you are holding me now.

Husband

Don’t say “women.” You are the woman.

Young Wife

But you must answer one question … otherwise … otherwise … there won’t be any honeymoon.

Husband

That’s a nice way to talk … remember you are a mother … our little girl is sleeping in there…

Young Wife

(Snuggling against him) But I want a boy, too.

Husband

Emma!

Young Wife

Don’t be silly … of course, I am your wife … but I’d like also to be … to be your sweetheart.

Husband

Would you?…

Young Wife

Well—now my question.

Husband

(Accommodating) All right.

Young Wife

Was there … a married woman … amongst them?

Husband

Why? What do you mean?

Young Wife

You know what I mean.

Husband

(Slightly disconcerted) What makes you think of a thing like that?

Young Wife

I would like to know if … I mean—there are such women… I know that very well. But did you?…

Husband

(Seriously) Do you know such a woman?

Young Wife

Well, I hardly know.

Husband

Is there, perhaps, such a woman among your friends?

Young Wife

How can I be sure that there is—or that there isn’t?

Husband

Did any of your friends … women talk about a lot of things—alone among themselves—did any of them ever confess—?

Young Wife

(Uncertainly) No.

Husband

Do you suspect any of your friends—that she…

Young Wife

Suspect … oh … suspect.

Husband

It would seem so.

Young Wife

No, indeed, Karl, most certainly not. When I think things over—I don’t believe there is any one.

Husband

No one?

Young Wife

Not among my friends.

Husband

Promise me something, Emma.

Young Wife

Well?

Husband

That you will never associate with a woman about whom you have the slightest suspicion that she … doesn’t lead a completely blameless life.

Young Wife

And you think it necessary for me to promise that?

Husband

I know that you will not seek out the company of such women. But, it might happen that you … in fact it often happens that such women, whose reputations are not of the best, seek out good women, partly to give them standing, and partly because they feel … how shall I say?… because they feel a certain homesickness for virtue.

Young Wife

Do they?

Husband

Yes. I believe what I just said is very true. Homesickness for virtue. For all of these women are at heart very unhappy; you can believe that.

Young Wife

Why?

Husband

You ask me, Emma?—How can you even ask?—Just imagine what a life these women lead! Full of lies, perfidy, vulgarity, and danger.

Young Wife

Yes, of course. You are right.

Husband

Truly … they pay for their little happiness … their little…

Young Wife

Pleasure.

Husband

Why “pleasure”? Why do you call it “pleasure”?

Young Wife

Well,—there must be something in it—! Otherwise, they wouldn’t do it.

Husband

It is nothing … an intoxication.

Young Wife

(Pensively) An intoxication…

Husband

No, it is not even intoxication. Like everything—it is dearly paid for, that much is certain.

Young Wife

Well … it has happened to you, hasn’t it?

Husband

Yes, Emma.—And it is the thing I most regret.

Young Wife

Who was she? Tell me! Do I know her?

Husband

The idea!

Young Wife

Was it long ago? Was it very long before you married me?

Husband

Don’t ask me. Please, don’t ask.

Young Wife

But, Karl!

Husband

She is dead.

Young Wife

Are you in earnest?

Husband

Yes … it sounds almost ridiculous, but I have the feeling that all such women die young.

Young Wife

Did you love her very much?

Husband

One doesn’t love women who lie.

Young Wife

Then why…

Husband

An intoxication…

Young Wife

Really?

Husband

Don’t talk about it any more, please. All that is passed long ago. I have only loved one woman—that is you. You only love where there is purity and truth.

Young Wife

Karl!

Husband

Oh, how secure, how happy one feels in such arms. Why didn’t I know you as a child? I am sure I wouldn’t then even have looked at other women.

Young Wife

Karl!

Husband

And how beautiful you are!… beautiful!… Oh, come…

(He puts the light out)


Young Wife

Do you know what I am thinking of to-night?

Husband

What, sweetheart?

Young Wife

Of … of … of Venice.

Husband

Our first night…

Young Wife

Yes…

Husband

What then? Tell me!

Young Wife

You love me as much to-day.

Husband

Yes, just as much.

Young Wife

Oh … if you would always…

Husband

(In her arms) If I would what?

Young Wife

My Karl!

Husband

What do you mean? If I would always?…

Young Wife

Well, yes.

Husband

Well, what then, if I would always?…

Young Wife

Then I would always know that you love me.

Husband

Yes. But you must know that anyway. One cannot always be a lover, sometimes one has to go out into the cold world to struggle and achieve! Don’t forget that, my child. There is a time for everything in marriage—that is the beauty of it. There are not many who can remember their Venice after five years.

Young Wife

True!

Husband

And now … good-night, my child.

Young Wife

Good-night!


THE HUSBAND AND THE SWEET YOUNG MISS

A private dining-room in the Riedhof, comfortably furnished with moderately good taste. A gas-grate is burning. The Husband and the Sweet Young Miss are disclosed. The remains of dinner are on the table, cream-cakes, fruit, cheese. In the wine-glasses is a Hungarian white wine.

Husband

(Is smoking a Havana cigar, and leaning against the corner of a sofa)

Miss

(Sits beside him in an armchair, eating the cream out of a cake with a spoon, and tasting it with satisfaction)

Husband

Is it good?

Miss

(Without stopping) Oh!

Husband

Do you want another?

Miss

No. I’ve eaten too much already.

Husband

Your wine is all gone.

(He fills her glass)

Miss

No … stop. I’ll leave it anyway.

Husband

Why are you so shy?

Miss

Am I?—Well, it takes time to get acquainted.

Husband

Come and sit here with me.

Miss

Right away… I’m not ready yet.

Husband

(Rises and stands behind her chair, and puts his arms around her, turning her face toward him)

Miss

What’s the matter?

Husband

I want a kiss.

Miss

(Kissing him) You are … excuse me, you have a lot of nerve.

Husband

You’re just finding that out?

Miss

Oh, no, I knew that long ago … from the first, in the street.—You must—

Husband

What?

Miss

You must have a nice opinion of me.

Husband

Why?

Miss

Because I went right away with you to a private dining room.

Husband

Well, you can hardly say “right away.”

Miss

But you asked in such a nice way.

Husband

Do you think so?

Miss

And, after all, what is the harm?

Husband

Of course.

Miss

Whether we go walking or—

Husband

Besides, it’s much too cold for walking.

Miss

Yes, it was too cold.

Husband

But here it’s nice and warm, isn’t it?

(He sits down again, puts his arms around the girl, and draws her to his side)

Miss

(Weakly) Don’t.

Husband

Tell me… You noticed me before, didn’t you?

Miss

Certainly. Several blocks before you spoke to me.

Husband

I don’t mean to-day. I mean yesterday and the day before, when I was following you.

Miss

A lot of people follow me.

Husband

I don’t doubt that. But did you notice me?

Miss

Guess … do you know what happened to me the other day? My cousin’s husband followed me in the dark, and didn’t recognize me.

Husband

Did he speak to you?

Miss

What do you suppose? Do you imagine every one is as bold as you?

Husband

But they sometimes do, don’t they?

Miss

Of course, they do.

Husband

Well, and what do you do?

Miss

Why nothing—I just don’t answer.

Husband

Hm-m … but you answered me.

Miss

Are you sorry?

Husband

(Kisses her violently) Your lips taste like cream-cakes.

Miss

Oh, they are sweet by nature.

Husband

I suppose many have told you that?

Miss

Many! What are you dreaming of?

Husband

Now, be honest. How many have kissed this mouth before?

Miss

Why do you ask? You wouldn’t believe me anyhow, if I told you.

Husband

Why not?

Miss

Guess, then.

Husband

All right, I’ll guess—but you mustn’t get angry!

Miss

Why should I get angry?

Husband

Well, then, I’ll guess … twenty.

Miss

(Slipping away from him) So—why not make it a hundred?

Husband

Oh, I was just guessing.

Miss

You guessed badly.

Husband

Say—ten.

Miss

(Offended) Oh, of course. A girl who lets a man talk to her on the street, and goes right away with him to a private dining-room!

Husband

Don’t be childish. Whether we walk about in the streets or sit in a room… We are in a restaurant. The waiter may come in at any moment—it doesn’t signify anything at all…

Miss

That’s just what I thought.

Husband

Have you ever been in a private dining-room before?

Miss

If I must tell the truth—yes.

Husband

I am glad that you are honest with me at least.

Miss

But it wasn’t—no it wasn’t the way you imagine. I was in a private dining-room with a friend and her fiancé, once during the carnival.

Husband

It wouldn’t have been anything tragic, if you had ever gone—with your sweetheart—

Miss

Of course, it wouldn’t have been anything serious. But I haven’t any sweetheart.

Husband

Oh, come now.

Miss

I swear, I haven’t.

Husband

But you don’t expect to make me believe that I…

Miss

Make you believe what?… I haven’t any—at least, haven’t had for six months.

Husband

I see… But before then? Who was he?

Miss

Why are you so curious?

Husband

I am curious because I love you.

Miss

Really?

Husband

Of course! You should have noticed that. Tell me about him.

(Presses her tightly to him)

Miss

What do you want me to tell?

Husband

Don’t keep me in suspense so long. Who was he, that’s what I want to know.

Miss

(Laughing) Just a man.

Husband

Well—well—who?

Miss

He looked something like you.

Husband

No!

Miss

If you hadn’t looked so much like him—

Husband

Well, what then?

Miss

Now, don’t ask, don’t you see that…

Husband

(Understanding) That’s why you let me speak to you.

Miss

Yes, that’s it.

Husband

I really don’t know whether I ought to be pleased or angry.

Miss

If I were you, I’d be pleased.

Husband

All right.

Miss

You also remind me of him the way you speak … and the way you look at one…

Husband

What was he?

Miss

And then, the eyes—

Husband

What was his name?

Miss

Please don’t look at me that way; please don’t.

Husband

(Embraces her. A long, burning kiss)

Miss

(Trembles, and tries to get up)

Husband

Why do you want to leave me?

Miss

It’s time to go home.

Husband

Later.

Miss

No, I really have to get home. What do you think mother will say.

Husband

You live with your mother?

Miss

Of course, I live with my mother. What did you imagine?

Husband

So—with your mother. Do you live alone with her?

Miss

Oh, yes, alone! There are five of us! Two boys and two more girls.

Husband

Don’t sit so far away from me. Are you the oldest?

Miss

No, I’m the second. First comes Kitty. She’s working in a flower store. Then come I.

Husband

Where do you work?

Miss

I stay at home.

Husband

Always?

Miss

One of us has to stay home.

Husband

Of course,—and what do you tell your mother, when you—come home so late?

Miss

That happens so seldom.

Husband

Well, to-day, for example. Your mother will ask you, won’t she?

Miss

Of course, she’ll ask. It doesn’t matter how careful I am when I come home, she always wakes up.

Husband

And what do you tell her?

Miss

Oh—that I’ve been to the theater.

Husband

Does she believe that?

Miss

Why shouldn’t she believe it? I often go to the theater. I saw an opera on Sunday with my friend and her fiancé, and my oldest brother.

Husband

Where did you get the tickets?

Miss

My brother is a hairdresser.

Husband

Oh, yes, a hairdresser … at the theater, I suppose?

Miss