Yes, I am.
Actress
(Seriously) It is really a splendid play!
Poet
Well, then!
Actress
You are a great genius, Robert!
Poet
And you might also tell me now why you didn’t turn up the day before yesterday. There was absolutely nothing the matter with you.
Actress
Well, I wanted to annoy you.
Poet
But why? What have I done to you?—
Actress
You were over-bearing.
Poet
In what way?
Actress
Everybody at the theater thinks you are.
Poet
Really.
Actress
But I told them, he has a perfect right to be over-bearing.
Poet
And what did they say?
Actress
What could they say? I am not on speaking-terms with any of them.
Poet
Oh, I see.
Actress
They would like nothing better than to poison me, every one of them. But they won’t succeed.
Poet
Don’t think now of others. Let’s be happy that we are here together, and tell me that you love me.
Actress
What further proof can you want?
Poet
It’s a thing that can’t be proven anyway.
Actress
I like that! What else do you want?
Poet
How many are there that you have tried to convince in this way … did you love all of them?
Actress
No, I have loved only one.
Poet
(Embraces her) My…
Actress
Dick.
Poet
My name is Robert. What can I mean to you, if you are thinking of Dick, now?
Actress
You are a mood of mine.
Poet
I am pleased to know it.
Actress
Well, tell me, aren’t you proud?
Poet
Why should I be proud?
Actress
It seems to me that you have good reason to be.
Poet
Oh, because of that.
Actress
Yes, because of that, my little cricket!—What about the chirping? Are they still chirping?
Poet
All the time. Don’t you hear them?
Actress
Of course, I hear them. But, child, those are frogs.
Poet
You are wrong. Frogs croak.
Actress
Of course, they croak.
Poet
But this is not croaking, child, this is chirping.
Actress
You are about the most stubborn person I have ever met. Kiss me, froggie.
Poet
Please don’t call me that. It gets on my nerves.
Actress
Well, what shall I call you?
Poet
My name is Robert.
Actress
Oh, but that’s stupid.
Poet
But won’t you please call me simply by my own name?
Actress
Well, then, Robert, give me a kiss… Ah! (She kisses him) Now, are you satisfied, froggie?
Poet
May I light a cigarette?
Actress
Give me one too. (He takes his cigarette-case from the dressing-table; takes two cigarettes out; lights both, and gives her one) By the way, you haven’t said a word about my performance yesterday.
Poet
What performance?
Actress
Well.
Poet
Oh, yes. I wasn’t at the theater.
Actress
You are joking.
Poet
Not in the least. When you didn’t turn up the day before, I assumed you hadn’t fully recovered yesterday, and so I decided not to go.
Actress
You missed something wonderful.
Poet
Yes.
Actress
It was a sensation. The people actually grew pale.
Poet
You saw that?
Actress
Benno said: Child, you acted divinely.
Poet
Hm!… And so ill the day before.
Actress
Indeed I was. And do you know why? Because I felt such a longing for you.
Poet
A little while ago you said that you stayed away just to annoy me.
Actress
But what do you know about my love for you? Everything leaves you cold. And I have been delirious for nights. In a high fever—hundred and four degrees.
Poet
Rather high for a mood.
Actress
You call that a mood? I am dying for love of you, and you call it a mood—?
Poet
And Dick…?
Actress
Dick?… Don’t talk to me about that galley-slave!—
The bedroom of the Actress, luxuriously furnished. It is midday. The curtains are still down; a candle is burning on the dressing-table. The Actress is disclosed in her four-poster bed. Many newspapers are strewn about on the cover. The Count in the uniform of a captain of the Dragoons enters. He remains standing at the door.
Actress
Ah, Count.
Count
Your mother said I might, otherwise I would not—
Actress
Please, come closer.
Count
I kiss your hand. Pardon me—when you come in from the street … I can’t see a thing yet. So … here we are (at her bed). I kiss your hand.
Actress
Please sit down, Count.
Count
Your mother said, My daughter isn’t well… Nothing serious, I hope.
Actress
Nothing serious? I was on the verge of death.
Count
Oh, dear, oh, dear, is it possible?
Actress
It is very good of you to have taken the trouble to call.
Count
On the verge of death! And only last night you acted divinely.
Actress
It was a great triumph, wasn’t it?
Count
Tremendous!… The audience was carried away. I won’t say anything about myself.
Actress
Thanks, for the beautiful flowers.
Count
Nothing at all, Mademoiselle.
Actress
(Indicating with her eyes a large flower-basket, which stands on a little table near the window) There they are.
Count
You were literally overwhelmed with flowers and wreaths yesterday.
Actress
They are still in my dressing-room. All I brought home was your flowers.
Count
(Kissing her hand) How sweet of you.
Actress
(Suddenly seizes his hand, and kisses it)
Count
But, Mademoiselle.
Actress
Don’t be frightened, Count, it doesn’t put you under any obligations.
Count
You are a strange being … a sort of a problem almost—
(Pause)
Actress
Miss Birken, I suppose, is much less of a problem.
Count
That little lady isn’t a problem at all, although … I really know her only very slightly.
Actress
Oh!
Count
That’s the actual truth. But you are a problem. I’ve always had a yearning for a problem. It’s really been a deep personal loss to me, that until yesterday… I never saw you act.
Actress
Really?
Count
Yes! You see, going to the theater is so complicated. I am used to dining late … then when I get there, the best part of the play is over. Isn’t that true?
Actress
From now on, I suppose, you will dine earlier.
Count
I’ve thought of that too. Or maybe I won’t dine at all. Dining isn’t a special pleasure anyhow.
Actress
Are there any pleasures left to an old man like you?
Count
That’s a question I often ask myself. But I am not an old man. There must be some other reason.
Actress
Do you think so?
Count
Yes. Bobby, for instance, says, that I am a philosopher. You know he means that I do too much thinking.
Actress
Yes … thinking is a misfortune.
Count
I have too much time, that’s why I reflect. You see, I’ve often thought if they would transfer me to Vienna, things would be better. There’s diversion here, stimulation. But at the bottom, it’s not really very different from up there.
Actress
What do you mean by “up there”?
Count
Well, down there, you know, in Hungary, in the God forsaken country towns, where I’ve been stationed most of the time.
Actress
And what did you do in Hungary?
Count
Well, as I am telling you, military service.
Actress
Yes, but why did you stay in Hungary so long?
Count
Oh, things happen that way.
Actress
But it must be enough to drive one mad.
Count
But why? You have a lot more work there, than here. You know, drilling recruits, breaking in mounts … and the country really isn’t as bad as they say. They are really quite beautiful, the lowlands—and marvelous sunsets. Too bad I’m not a painter, I’ve often thought if I were, I would paint them. We had a young chap, Splany, in our regiment, who could do it.—But, dear me, what dull stories I am telling you.
Actress
Please go on; they are delightful!
Count
Do you know, the nice thing about you is the way one can chat with you, Bobby told me all about it. And it’s so seldom one can find any one like that.
Actress
Down there in Hungary, I suppose.
Count
But it’s quite the same in Vienna! People are always the same. Where there are more of them, the crowd is larger. That’s the whole difference. Tell me, do you really like people?
Actress
Like them—? I hate them! I hate to look at them. I never see any one. I’m always alone. Nobody enters my house.
Count
You see, I sort of thought that you hated people. It must often be the case with artists. If one lives in the higher regions… Well, you are lucky, you know at least why you live!
Actress
Who told you that? I haven’t the slightest notion what I’m living for!
Count
But really—to be famous—to be fêted—
Actress
Does that mean happiness?
Count
Happiness? There really is no such thing as happiness. All the things that people talk about most, don’t exist … for instance, love. That’s one of them.
Actress
I suppose you are right.
Count
Enjoyment … intoxication … very good, nobody can deny them … they are something real. Now, when I am enjoying myself … very good, I am aware that I am enjoying myself. Or I am intoxicated, good. That also is something real. And when it’s over, well then it’s over.
Actress
(Grandly) It is over.
Count
But as soon as one does not, how shall I express it, as soon as one does not give oneself up to the moment, I mean, if one thinks of the future or the past … well, everything is over in a moment… Afterwards … there is sadness … before … there is uncertainty … in a word, one only becomes confused. Isn’t that so?
Actress
(Nods with wide open eyes) It seems, you have grasped the essence of things.
Count
And, you see, when you have once clearly grasped this, it really doesn’t matter whether you live in Vienna or in the Puszta[3] or in Steinamanger.[4] You see, for instance … where may I put my cap? Yes, thank you … what were we talking about?
Actress
About the Puszta.
Count
Of course. Well, as I said, there isn’t much difference, whether I spend the evening in the officers’ mess or at the club. It’s all the same.
Actress
And what about love?
Count
If you believe in it, some one will always be there who will love you.
Actress
Like Miss Birken, for example.
Count
I really don’t see why you always have to come back to that little lady.
Actress
But she’s your mistress, isn’t she?
Count
Who says so?
Actress
Everybody knows it.
Count
Except myself, strange to say.
Actress
But you fought a duel on her account!
Count
Maybe. I was even killed without my knowing it.
Actress
You are a gentleman, won’t you sit closer to me?
Count
With pleasure.
Actress
Here. (She draws him to her, and passes her hand through his hair) I knew you would come to-day.
Count
How did you know?
Actress
I knew it last night in the theater.
Count
You saw me from the stage, then?
Actress
But man alive! Didn’t you notice that I acted for you alone?
Count
No, really?
Actress
I was as on wings, when I saw you sitting in the first row.
Count
As on wings? On my account? I hadn’t the slightest suspicion that you noticed me!
Actress
Your aristocratic reserve is enough to drive one to despair.
Count
But…
Actress
“But”!… At least, take your saber off!
Count
If you permit.
(Takes it off, and leans it against the bed)
Actress
And now give me a kiss.
Count
(Kisses her, she clings to him)
Actress
It would have been better if I had never seen you.
Count
But this seems better to me.
Actress
Count, you are a poseur!
Count
I—why?
Actress
Can’t you imagine how happy many a man would be if he were in your place!
Count
I’m perfectly happy.
Actress
Well, I thought happiness didn’t exist. Why do you look at me that way? I believe you are afraid of me, Count!
Count
I told you, Mademoiselle, you are a problem.
Actress
Oh, don’t bother me with your philosophy … come to me. And ask me for anything at all … you can have whatever you want. You are so handsome.
Count
Well then, may I ask (kissing her hand) that I may call again this evening?
Actress
This evening … but I have to act then.
Count
After the play.
Actress
And you ask for nothing else?
Count
I shall ask for everything else after the play.
Actress
(Hurt) You can beg a long while then, you abominable poseur.
Count
But, see, we’ve been perfectly frank with each other so far … it seems to me it would be so much more beautiful after the play … much cozier than now, when … I have a sort of feeling the door might open any moment…
Actress
It does not open from the outside.
Count
Well, you see, I have an idea one shouldn’t lightly spoil in advance something which may be very beautiful.
Actress
Possibly!…
Count
To tell the truth, love in the morning seems rather horrible to me.
Actress
Well—you are about the worst case of lunacy I have ever met!
Count
I am not talking about women in general … because in general it doesn’t make any difference anyway. But women like you … no, you may call me a fool a hundred times over. But women like you … one doesn’t take them before breakfast. And so … you know … so…
Actress
Oh, but you are a darling!
Count
You understand, what I have said, don’t you? I sort of imagine it like…
Actress
How do you imagine it?
Count
Like this… I wait for you in a carriage after the play, then we drive somewhere for supper—
Actress
I am not Miss Birken.
Count
I didn’t mean to say you were. Only, it seems to me, you have to be in the right sort of mood for everything. In my case the mood doesn’t come until supper. The most beautiful thing of all is when we drive home together, and then…
Actress
And then?
Count
And then … well, that depends upon circumstances.
Actress
Do sit closer. Closer.
Count
(Sitting down on the bed) Seems to me, that out of the pillows comes a fragrance … mignonette—isn’t it?
Actress
It’s very warm in here, don’t you think so?
Count
(Bends down, and kisses her neck)
Actress
Oh, Count, that is contrary to your program.
Count
Who said anything about “program.” I never have any program.
Actress
(Drawing him close to her)
Count
It really is very warm.
Actress
Do you think so? And so dark, just as if it were evening… (Draws him toward her) It is evening … it is night… Close your eyes, if there is too much light for you. Come!… Come!…
Count
(Offers no further resistance)
Actress
And what about atmosphere now, you poseur?
Count
You are a little devil.
Actress
What a thing to say!
Count
Well, then an angel.
Actress
You should have been an actor! Really! You understand women! And do you know, what I shall do now?
Count
Well?
Actress
I shall tell you that I shall never see you again.
Count
But why?
Actress
Never, never. You are too dangerous! You would drive a woman mad. Here you are standing before me, as though nothing had happened.
Count
But…
Actress
Please remember, Count, I have just given you everything.
Count
I shall never forget it!
Actress
And what about to-night?
Count
What do you mean?
Actress
Well—you wanted to wait for me after the theater?
Count
Oh, yes, let’s say, the day after to-morrow.
Actress
What do you mean by “the day after to-morrow”? We were talking about to-day.
Count
There wouldn’t be much sense in that.
Actress
Old man!
Count
You don’t quite understand me. What I mean has rather to do, how shall I express myself, rather concerns the soul.
Actress
What concern of mine is your soul?
Count
Believe me, it has much to do with it. It seems all wrong to me, this notion, that you can separate the two.
Actress
Don’t bother me with your philosophy. If I want any of that, I can read books.
Count
One never learns from books.
Actress
Very true! And that’s why you ought to wait for me to-night. As to the soul, we will come to some sort of an understanding, you villain!
Count
Well, then, if I may, I shall wait in my carriage…
Actress
You shall wait for me here in my home—
Count
… After the play.
Actress
Of course.
(He buckles on his sword)
Actress
What are you doing?
Count
It seems to me it is time for me to go. For a formal call I have stayed a bit too long as it is.
Actress
Well, this evening it shall be a formal call.
Count
Do you think so?
Actress
I’ll take care of that. And now give me a last kiss, you darling little philosopher. Here, you seducer, you … sweet child, you seller of souls, you … panther. (After she has ardently kissed him several times, she thrusts him violently away) Count, you have done me a great honor.
Count
Not at all, mademoiselle! (At the door) Au revoir.
Actress
Good-by, and love to Steinamanger.
It is morning toward six o’clock. A poorly furnished room with one window. The dirty yellowish blinds are down. Tattered, greenish curtains. On the dresser are several photographs, and beside them a cheap woman’s hat of conspicuously bad taste. Behind the mirror are cheap Japanese fans. On the table over which is drawn a reddish cover is an oil-lamp. It is burning low with a disagreeable odor, and has a shade of yellow paper. Beside it is a pitcher with remains of beer, and a half-empty glass.—On the floor beside the bed a woman’s clothes are lying in disorder. They look as though they had just been quickly thrown off. The Girl lies sleeping in the bed, breathing quietly. The Count is lying on the sofa fully dressed with his light overcoat on. His hat lies on the floor at the head of the sofa.
Count
(Stirs, rubs his eyes, sits up suddenly, remains seated, and looks around) Where am I?… Oh, yes … I actually went home with the woman, it seems… (He rises quickly, notices her bed) Oh, there she is… Queer, what sort of things can happen, even at my age. I haven’t the faintest notion, did they carry me up here? No… I remember—coming into the room… I was still awake then, or waked up … or … or maybe it’s only the room that reminds of something?… ’Pon my soul, yes, of course … it was yesterday I saw it… (Looks at his watch) What! yesterday, a couple of hours ago!—But, I knew, that something had to happen… I felt it in my bones … when I began to drink yesterday, I felt that … and what has happened?… Nothing… Or did there…? ’Pon my soul … for … for ten years it hasn’t happened to me that I don’t know… Well, let’s be honest at any rate, I was drunk… If I only knew since when… I remember perfectly when Bobby and I went into the all-night café, and … no, no… We left together … and then on the way… Yes, that’s it, Bobby and I rode in my carriage… But, why do I worry my brains about it? It doesn’t really matter. Let’s see that we get out of here. (Rises. The lamp shakes) Oh! (Looks at the sleeping Girl) Well, she sleeps the sleep of the just. I don’t remember anything—but I’ll put the money on the table … and then, good-by… (He stands in front of her, and looks at her for a considerable time) If I didn’t know what she is! (Studies her) I’ve known many who didn’t look as virtuous even in their sleep. ’Pon my soul… Bobby would say again, I’m philosophizing, but the truth is, sleep makes all equal, so it seems to me—like its brother, death… Hm, I should like to know, whether… No, I’d remember that… No, no, I dropped like a log on the sofa right away … and nothing happened… It is unbelievable how much alike all women sometimes look… Well, let’s go (He is about to go) Oh, of course.
(He takes his wallet, and is about to take out a banknote)
Girl
(Awakening) Well … who’s there so early in the morning—? (Recognizing him) Good morning, sonny!
Count
Good morning. Have a good sleep?
Girl
(Stretching) Oh, come here. Give me a little kiss.
Count
(Bends down to her, considers, and draws back) I was just going…
Girl
Going?
Count
It’s really about time.
Girl
You want to go away?
Count
(Half-embarrassed) Well…
Girl
Well, good-by, you’ll come some other time.
Count
Yes, good-by. But, won’t you give me your hand?
Girl
(Reaches out her hand from under the cover)
Count
(Takes her hand, and kisses it mechanically, and becoming aware of it, he smiles) Just as with a princess. Besides, if one only…
Girl
Why do you look at me that way?
Count
If one only sees the head, as now … anyway, each and every one looks innocent when she first awakes … ’pon my soul, one might imagine almost anything, if the kerosene didn’t smell so…
Girl
Yes, the lamps are always a nuisance.
Count
How old are you really?
Girl
Well, what would you guess?
Count
Twenty-four.
Girl
Oh, of course!
Count
Older?
Girl
I’m not yet twenty.
Count
And how long have you been…
Girl
A year.
Count
You began early.
Girl
Better too early, than too late.
Count
(Sits down upon her bed) Tell me, are you really happy?
Girl
Am I, what?
Count
I mean, are things going well with you?
Girl
Oh, things always go well with me.
Count
Yes… Well, did it never occur to you that you might become something else?
Girl
What might I become?
Count
Well… You are a very pretty girl. You might take a lover, for example.
Girl
Do you imagine I haven’t any?
Count
Yes, I know that—But I mean just one single one, who would take care of you, so that you wouldn’t have to go with everybody.
Girl
I don’t go with everybody. Thank heaven, I don’t have to. I pick those I want.
Count
(Looks around the room)
Girl
(Noticing it) We move downtown next month, to the Spiegelgasse.
Count
We? Who?
Girl
Well, the Madam, and the couple of other girls who live here.
Count
There are others—
Girl
Next door … don’t you hear?… that is Milly. She was in the café too.
Count
I hear some one snoring.
Girl
That’s Milly. She will snore the whole day long until ten o’clock to-night. Then she gets up, and goes to the café.
Count
What an awful life!
Girl
Of course it is. It annoys the Madam a lot. I’m always on the streets by noon.
Count
What do you do on the streets at noon?
Girl
What do you suppose I do? I’m going on my beat then.
Count
Oh, yes … of course… (Rises, takes out his wallet, and puts a banknote on the table) Good-by!
Girl
Going already… Good-by… Call again soon.
(Turns on her side)
Count
(Stands still) Tell me, is everything a matter of indifference to you already?
Girl
What?
Count
I mean, don’t you get pleasure out of anything any more?
Girl
(Yawning) I want to sleep.
Count
It’s all the same to you whether he is young or old or whether he…
Girl
Why do you ask?
Count
… Well (Suddenly hitting upon a thought) ’pon my soul, now I know of whom you remind me, it’s…
Girl
Do I look like some one?
Count
Unbelievable, unbelievable. Now please, don’t talk, at least not for a minute… (Looking at her) The very same features. (He kisses her suddenly on the eyes), the very image.
Girl
Well…
Count
’Pon my soul, it’s too bad that you … aren’t something different… You could make your fortune!
Girl
You talk just like Frank.
Count
Who is Frank?
Girl
The waiter in our café.
Count
In what way am I just like Frank?
Girl
He is also always telling me I might make my fortune, and wanting me to marry him.
Count
Why don’t you?
Girl
No thank you… I don’t want to marry, no, not for any price… Later on, perhaps.
Count
The eyes … the very same eyes… Bobby would surely call me a fool.—But I must kiss your eyes once more … so … and now God bless you, now I must go.
Girl
Good-by…
Count
(At the door) Tell me … aren’t you a bit surprised?…
Girl
At what?
Count
That I don’t want anything of you.
Girl
There are many men who aren’t in the mood in the morning.
Count
Of course… (To himself) Absurd, that I expect to be surprised… Well, good-by… (He is near the door) But really, I’m disappointed. I ought to know that women like her care only about money … what am I saying … it is beautiful, that at least she doesn’t pretend; should make one glad… (Aloud) Do you know, I shall come to see you again soon?
Girl
(With closed eyes) All right.
Count
When are you at home?
Girl
I’m always at home. You only have to ask for Leocadia.
Count
Leocadia… All right—Well, God bless you. (At the door) The wine is still in my head. But after all it is sublime… I am with a woman like her and haven’t done anything but kiss her eyes, because she reminded me of some one… (Turns toward her) Tell me, Leocadia, does it often happen that any one leaves you in this way?
Girl
What way?
Count
As I do.
Girl
In the morning?
Count
No … have you ever had any one with you,—who didn’t want anything of you?
Girl
No, that has never happened to me.
Count
Well, what do you think then? Do you think I didn’t like you?
Girl
Why shouldn’t you like me? You liked me well enough by night.
Count
I like you now, too.
Girl
But you liked me better last night.
Count
What makes you think that?
Girl
Why ask such foolish questions?
Count
Last night … well, tell me, didn’t I drop right down on the sofa?
Girl
Certainly … with me.
Count
With you?
Girl
Yes, don’t you remember?
Count
I did … both of us…
Girl
But you fell asleep right away.
Count
Right away… So … that’s what happened?…
Girl
Yes, sonny. But you must have been terribly drunk, that you don’t remember.
Count
So… And yet … there is a faint resemblance… Good-by… (Listens) … What is the matter?
Girl
The servant is up. Give her a tip as you go out. The outside door is open, so you won’t have to give anything to the janitor.
Count
(In the anteroom) Well… It would have been beautiful, if I had kissed her only on the eyes. It would have been almost an adventure… But it wasn’t my destiny. (The servant opens the door) Ah—here… Good-night.—
Servant
Good morning!
Count
Of course … good morning … good morning.