The commander of the Salapiæ anxiously paced the dark, slippery deck, occasionally halting to encourage the sailors, or direct in the movement of some heavy piece of the cargo which was to be cast overboard, to lighten, so far as possible, the stricken ship. The shrill creaking of the pumps, as they were unceasingly worked in the prevailing darkness, sounded as might the sighs and moans of malignant fiends, who were derisively gloating over the rich prey of which they already felt sure.
Another signal from below caught the quick ear of Vivian, and he proceeded to the small tube which led down to the hold, and bending over he heard in sepulchral tones,—
“Two cubita and a half!”
“The gods be merciful!” he exclaimed to himself. “Nothing less than their interposition can save us!”
The hoarse vibrations of the surrounding tempest were [pg 281]mingled with its shriller tones produced by its hissing sweep through the shattered spars and rigging, all combining, like the different instruments in a great orchestra, to render a grand minor symphony of Woe and Despair.
By great exertion they were able to raise a little more canvas, as the only hope lay in making Tarsus, or some other port on the Cilician coast, toward which the wind was sweeping them. Though much more distant than Salamis, which they had left behind, there was no choice. They could go only where they were driven. The gods were invoked and libations poured, that the gale, which at first had brought them disaster, might continue. Could they make Tarsus before the Salapiæ would fill and go to the bottom?
The panic and confusion which had prevailed among the crew of many races gradually subsided, and a grim desperation settled down upon all. Each worked with a dogged, sullen intensity, as though the fate of all depended upon his own persistency of effort.
To actually face death sometimes seems to inspire a kind of stolid indifference. Even to the ignorant and worldly man the vital fact comes home that it can come but once, and that, after all, the peculiar time and means of the most universal of all human experiences are not so very important. The divine economy of the human constitution is such that when the great Fact looms up in the near foreground, there is often an unwonted serenity and confidence that are lacking in lesser trials, or even in its own more distant anticipation.
Deep down beneath the perturbed and noisy surface [pg 282]of human consciousness there is an inherent and instinctive faith in, and recognition of, the righteousness and even beneficence of that which Is and Must Be. Only a merciful Providence could have provided that the life-long fear of meeting the “King of Terrors” should measurably fade out upon his near approach.
Whatever may betide, every man feels, in the profound recesses of his heart, that he will be justly dealt with, and that the natural penalty for his misdeeds should not be shunned, and that perhaps in some way it is well that it should come. The artificial, dogmatic, and superficial elements drop away, and a divinely implanted subconscious sense of universal equity, and even love, finally comes to the surface and makes itself felt.
Man feels that he is to be fairly weighed, and will inevitably find his own moral and spiritual specific gravity. The universe is so ordered that he will invariably measure himself, for it is best that he should. He that is condemned is self-condemned. True, he regrets his own manifold mistakes, selfishness, and sensuous degradation. Their penalties will surely scarify him, and make up his beneficent hell, through which he must pass, either here or hereafter, in order to purification. Metals are only purged of their dross by being cast into the crucible.
Salvation must be the result of free moral character, and that must grow from within, for it cannot be imposed. This fundamental principle underlies all surface religions, dogmatisms, and systems.
The Salapiæ plunged dizzily onward. Amid the swash of waves upon the deck, and the swinging to and fro of [pg 283]the tattered remnants of sails which kept time to her staggering rhythm, a few dim, moving lanterns, like fitful fireflies, were all that could be discerned.
Vivian never lost courage and composure, though he recognized that the race between the leak and Tarsus included only a bare possibility of reaching the latter, the probabilities being an hundred-fold in favor of the former.
It was past midnight when Serenus emerged from the little cabin where he had been in the silence—with the Universal. His mien was calm and confident, and his face radiant with a sense of inner reserve and spiritual upliftment. He first sought Amabel, who was patiently awaiting him. There was no trace of care on her beautiful face, and she greeted him with a warm embrace.
“Is it well, my husband?”
“It is well, Light of my life! We shall be brought safely through this trial, and it will prove a blessing to many. While I am persuaded of the result, I wot not in what manner the escape will come.”
“Is the sea cruel and treacherous, or does the trial come for our sifting and testing?”
“The sea is good, even though it now seem contrary. Trials come in the ordinary course of things, and seeming adversity is the ‘Adversary’ which appears so that we may grow through the process of overcoming him. Satan is the Tester, or negative Developer, of man. But for trials and obstacles, life would become stagnant and unprofitable for lack of exercise. Behold, the glory of the latter end of Job was the result of an experience in which the Adversary had an important office.”
[pg 284]“But surely such a trial as this tempest is not a thing to be sought?”
“Nay, verily! We are not to go into temptation, or seek for trial! Only such testing as comes from beyond our control can minister to our discipline and profit. Having faithfully followed our highest inward guidance, everything that comes will, in some way, be transformed into blessing.”
“O my beloved! I feel that what you say is true, but yet it seemeth to be a great mystery. Hark! behold the tempest hath a sound like the roaring of lions!”
“Hast thou forgotten the record of Daniel? His uplifting faith closed the mouths of the lions of his day! These will be closed also! Behold it is our inner and secret enemies that are most besetting. It is not the angry roar of the tempest that threatens, but the still, hidden leak. But deliverance from both will come! Yea, we may exclaim, not God be merciful, but God is merciful!”
“I believe it! How glorious!”
“I rejoice that thou dost not doubt. But go now and rest, while I seek the master of the ship.”
“Go, for God is with thee!”
With much effort Serenus lifted the cover of a small hatchway, and passed out upon the dark, storm-swept deck. The violent pitching, noise, and blackness were forbidding; and had he not been free from the bondage of appearances, he would have quailed at the prospect. At length he found Vivian, who was much surprised.
“How camest thou here?” said the master. But before Serenus had time to answer, he continued,—
[pg 285]“But now I am minded of thy purpose to see me again. Thou art welcome, and I count thee to be discreet; but before I hearken to thy message, I must tell thee that unless a miracle take place, the Salapiæ will go down, and all on board perish!”
Serenus was silent for a moment, and Vivian continued,—
“I must leave thee straightway, until once more I make inquiry concerning the water in the hold! But soon I will return.”
He left Serenus clinging to one of the smaller masts, and slowly made his way to the speaking-tube to get another report. In response to his signal, hollow tones full of direful prophecy came up,—
“Three cubita full!”
The pumps were doing their utmost, and the master fully realized that the contest was hopeless. But he was brave.
Heroes are not the exclusive product of any one time, race, or religion.
He said nothing to the crew of the increasing peril, but with cheerful tones encouraged their efforts. Skilfully guiding his course to the place where Serenus was waiting, he said,—
“O Hebrew! though thou art young, I am persuaded of thy wisdom. Speak now, and I will listen to thy message.”
The darkness was so dense that neither could behold more than the dim outlines of the other’s form, and the noise made conversation impossible except as their faces were almost together. Each put his hand upon [pg 286]the shoulder of the other, while they steadied themselves by the mast. But both were as serene as if they were basking in the summer sunshine upon a favored shore.
“The Salapiæ will be lost, but every soul on board will be safely landed in Tarsus!” said Serenus.
“Thou speakest in no uncertain tone, O wise young Hebrew! Whence hast thou this knowledge?”
“O noble and brave Roman! only by the fulfilment of my prophecy can its truth be proven to thee. I ask thee not to believe, and am well persuaded that thou wilt abate no effort for salvation because of my assurance. Nay, I would have thee use the utmost diligence; for man must employ all the means, and fully co-operate with God in working out his own salvation.”
“Hast thou inquired of the God of the Hebrews and received this favoring answer from him?”
“My vision of the future cometh not from the special God of any race or tribe, but through the power which the universal Divine Spirit, that ruleth the world and all its elements, hath conferred upon man to read and interpret his laws.”
Vivian, though a man of much worldly wisdom, but dimly understood the meaning of Serenus, but yet deeply felt the superiority of the man who stood face to face with him. There was a positive spiritual influence and hope which came from contact with the young man which he could not divine.
“Wilt thou not acquaint me more fully of thy power? How canst thou read the fate of the Salapiæ, and that none on board of her shall perish, except that thy God hath given thee some visible token? And if thou hast [pg 287]received a sign, surely thou mayst show it me and reveal its significance. I would fain believe it, yet how can I be assured?”
“Thou art well skilled in the sailing of ships, and I will not question thy wisdom in thine own calling; but in a way of which I cannot tell thee, and which thou thinkest not of, every soul on board will come safely to Tarsus!”
“The gods grant that thy words may come to pass, but thou hast offered me no sign. I would that I had inquired of the oracle in the great temple of the Salaminian Jupiter. But thou dost count thy God greater than Jupiter?”
“Yea, he is the God above all gods! He is the All in All! His laws and methods are orderly and universal! His wisdom and love are already perfect, and we need not importune him to change his plans. We approach him, not by vain oblation or libation, but by communion and oneness of spirit. We lift ourselves into harmony with his beneficent and eternal order. Even the laws which produce wind and wave are good, but to narrow and perverted human vision they often appear evil.”
“But surely thou wilt tell me more of thy prophecy, and by what means thou didst receive the message?”
“Behold I was about to acquaint thee with that! The divine wisdom hath placed within the nature of all men certain prophetic spiritual instincts, but they are yet latent, except in a few souls who have been inwardly illumined. Favored in my lot and experience, some of this inner clear-sightedness hath come to me. [pg 288]At certain times and seasons it enableth me to behold that which is commonly invisible, and also, not only to foretell some events of the future, but verily to see them. This power cometh not by any special and miraculous bestowment, but through an inward unfolding, and an understanding of the law of inspiration. Thou hast the same power in thyself, but it hath not yet been awakened. Thou wouldst know how I, or rather the spirit that is within me, is assured of our safety! I answer, that though it hath not yet come to pass, yet in my retiracy this night I have seen every one safe in Tarsus!”10
The master of the Salapiæ was attentive and interested, but not convinced. But the earnest sincerity and indefinable charm of the young man’s presence almost persuaded him against his will.
The Roman and Hebrew stood in brotherly embrace amidst the roar and darkness, but one represented the seen and sensuous, and the other the unseen and real. Man, to the first, was only a visible and animated form; to the second, he was a spiritual entity, even though now possessing material form and expression. To one, when he sank beneath the waves, it was his end; to the other, the man was intact. To the latter, the sinking, at the worst, could be but an unmoral incident; not an evil, as that term conveys ethical quality. Drowning could neither take away from, nor add to, the [pg 289]real man or his character. The loss of one mode of expression does not touch the ego.
“What counsel dost thou offer me?” inquired Vivian.
“In the conduct of the ship, none! Abate not one jot of the labor at the pumps, and diligently employ all thy skill and watchfulness in the use of other means which thou deemest wise. My converse with thee is that of man and brother, but as master of the Salapiæ none can question thee.”
“Behold thou hast great charity and a loving spirit!” exclaimed Vivian. “I have heard many of thy race revile us as outcasts and idolaters, while they called themselves the chosen of heaven.”
“Thou art my brother, even though thou understandest not my faith, and we are all sons of the Most High God.”
“Verily such a saying mine ears never before have heard! Thou dost me too much honor! With all my diligence to please the gods, I have always counted myself as a man subject to error and passion!”
“While thou hast made many mistakes, and hast much to learn, thou art inmostly a child of Goodness; and as thou dost come to thy veritable self, thou wilt discover thine own likeness to the Divine Father!”
“Surely thou art more than a Hebrew, for thy religion is noble! Deeply hast thou persuaded me!”
“Think no more of thyself as a man who is in subjection to evil; for it hath been truly written, that ‘as a man thinketh in his heart, so is he.’ The thought of one concerning himself fills and shapes his inner life. Feel thyself to be a son of God, and such a conscious[pg 290]ness will renew and purify thy soul. Behold, the world knoweth not this law! The old self with its deeds will drop away, while the new man will be formed within, and his outward works will answer to the inner thought-ideal. Thus the visible expression will be the index of the pattern that is held in the heart!”
“I marvel at such a doctrine, and yet feel its truth. Hath any man yet filled to the full the divine measure of which thou hast spoken?”
“Yea, there hath been a Man of Nazareth, of Judea, born a Hebrew, who recognized the perfect human divinity. He is the Ideal, not only for his own nation, but for all the world, whether Greek, Roman, Jew, barbarian, or Scythian! He knew the inmost oneness of God and man, because he knew himself as he was.”
“Where is he now? How I would like to see him!”
“Because he was so large in his love, he was hated and crucified by his own people,—my people,—and passed into the unseen.”
In answer to many more questions, Serenus then gave Vivian a brief account of Jesus, the Christ, his mission, and the quality of his life. The twain, amid the hissing of the elements and the groaning of the pumps, stood in the thick darkness, with their arms affectionately around each other in brotherly communion.
“Thou hast touched me deeply,” said Vivian. “I love thy spirit, and rejoice that we have met! I thank thee that thou hast brought me a knowledge of the Ideal,—the Nazarene; so noble, so large, and so beyond race and outward condition! He will fill an uninterpreted longing of my whole life. I shall think of him even [pg 291]during our peril. Behold thou hast made me feel that there is something in us, of which the tempest, at its worst, cannot rob us. Would that I could have seen the Ideal!”
“Thou mayst do even more, for thou canst feel his spirit within thee!”
“I have it, and it shall possess me!”
Vivian expressed a tender and earnest thankfulness, and they parted long after midnight.
The next morning brought no occasion for hope. The water in the hold steadily increased, and the gale showed little abatement. In every direction there was nothing but an endless gray waste of boiling waves, which seemed hungry and impatient to swallow up the stricken ship. The weary hours of the second day dragged along with interminable slowness, and the impenetrable gloom of outward conditions had no ray to lighten it. The strain and fatigue brought such a torpor of stolid indifference upon the crew, that to some death would have been almost welcome. Desperate but wholly unsuccessful attempts were made to draw down some remnants of sail upon the outside to lessen the inflow, but the water in the hold gained with fateful certainty.
As the day finally wore away, the force of the tempest slowly lessened, making their progress less rapid. Even at the present rate, it would be impossible to reach Tarsus before the middle of the following day, and a careful survey made it a matter of great doubt whether or not the Salapiæ could float until the next daybreak.
The master again called Serenus upon deck, giving him an affectionate greeting.
[pg 292]“O my brother! unless peradventure a miracle be wrought, I can discern no manner of means for the fulfilment of thy prophecy! I wot not how the Salapiæ in any wise can reach the desired haven. But while I cannot descry the end of thy good message, I have joy in thinking of the Ideal, and of feeling an earnest of the same spirit within.”
“I rejoice with thee that thou dost recognize the living Witness!”
“But O most worthy brother and prophet! peradventure we be saved from this present peril, some other expedience will yet bring us to our end. How sayest thou?”
“There is no end! If my prophecy prove vain, and we sink in the depths of the sea, behold that spirit which is within us, and which we are, hath continuance.”
“It seemeth to be a great mystery!”
“Behold thou hast a body, but art not body! Thou art spirit even now. If thy seen form dissolve, thou wilt still live, even though in the invisible! Thou wilt see, but not with these eyes; thou wilt hear and feel, but not with these members; yea, thou wilt think and know and love!”
“I have heard of shades beyond the Styx, but counted them to be only shadows. Dost thou affirm that they are verily ourselves?”
“Yea! of a surety! When thou goest out of thy tent or house, art thou not the same? Behold the unseen country is all about us, and peopled with those who have laid off the flesh. As our garments wax old and are laid aside for those more befitting, so are we clothed with such bodies as belong to the place of our sojourn.”
[pg 293]“Unto what canst thou liken them?”
“Our habitations beyond the Styx, as thou sayest, are such as we are now building by our thoughts, desires, and loves. Even though unseen, we are uprearing and putting them on day by day.”
“In what manner art thou persuaded of these things?”
“The Voice within giveth its testimony concerning them, and moreover, those that are yonder have sent back messages. It cometh to pass also that certain who are still with us have their inner sight opened, so that those who are invisible become manifest. If thou wouldst know of that whereof I speak, open thy soul and become like a little child, and the silent voice within will yield some growing assurance.”
“I believe that I already hear its still, sweet utterance! Unto this day it hath been asleep, but thou hast aroused it, and it will live!”
“Thou givest good tidings! behold the spirit of the Christ—the son of God—in thee is coming into manifestation!”
“O thou greater than a Hebrew! thou hast discovered me to myself. I joyfully accept thy teaching and prophecy, for of a truth thou hast a wisdom beyond that of earth!”
The master of the Salapiæ always had been brave and manly, but now there was a light in his eye and a joy in his heart which was unwonted, even when no peril threatened. It was not so much the words which Serenus had spoken, but the spirit and love which filled him, and which he radiated, that had taken hold of the Roman.
The gloom of another night was gathering, and the [pg 294]Salapiæ was visibly deeper in the sea. But as the blackness closed around the sinking ship, there was no more joyful soul on board than Vivian. Amidst all the stress and danger his greatest wonder was himself.
Down, and still lower down, the helpless wreck heaved and plunged heavily during the second night. Would daylight ever come?
At last the morning dawned, and they were still afloat. The storm had ceased, and the sun arose clear and bright from the eastern sea. The wind which had driven them so strongly towards Tarsus had entirely died away, and a light breeze was coming from the opposite direction. They were able to hoist more sail, but being obliged to tack, the progress of the water-logged ship became hardly perceptible.
Tarsus was now not very distant, but every soul on board clearly saw that the Salapiæ never could reach the wished-for port. Slowly, but with grim certainty, the water in the hold deepened, and direful Fate, with cruel footsteps, was silently approaching.
The faith of Serenus and Amabel never wavered. Even that of Vivian was firm and confident. But he neglected no feasible effort that belonged to his calling, and made all possible preparations for what seemed to be immediately impending. The ship’s boats had been swept away during the first assault of the storm, but with all diligence two rafts had been hurriedly constructed of such materials as were at hand, and some provisions and gurglets of water and wine lashed to them. But the [pg 295]waves were still high, and would wash over them if they were launched.
While there were no cries of confusion, as upon the first day of the storm, petitions were being offered, and vows made in various tongues to gods of different names.
The human mind at its greatest can grasp but an infinitesimal fraction of the Infinite, but it always has a deific ideal which fills its utmost capacity. No two ever possess quite the same, but to the individual it is the highest, and all there is. To it he must cry, and upon it he must stay himself, for he cannot go beyond.
But the Infinite dwells in every man’s ideal, however low. It is the link, unseen and perchance crude, which draws and binds him to the Eternal Goodness. Let us respect the supreme pattern of every human brother, though he be ignorant, simple, theologically untaught, or even vile. For him it must stand until a greater and purer takes its place. The “Father’s House,” even though provisional and unshapely, is hidden within the deep mists of every human soul.
But look! The city of Tarsus, with its white roofs and gilded towers, is now dimly visible in the far distance.
The day was perfect. As if in repentance of her past angry mood, Nature arrayed herself in her most beautiful robes. The air was of crystalline clearness, and not a cloud specked the blue azure above. During the morning hours the sea gradually calmed down, and the reflected sunlight gleamed and danced upon the crest [pg 296]of every billow with sparkling brilliancy. From the Salapiæ the vast expanse seemed to be the embodiment of Treachery outwardly dressed in living Beauty. With cruel spirit, but seductive charm, it was stealthily waiting to take mortals into its cold embrace forever.
The ship could not possibly last until midday. The adverse breeze freshened, and her labored progress almost ceased.
But look again! A speck appears upon the water near Tarsus, and it slowly, oh, how slowly, grows larger. It was described as some kind of a ship under full sail, and under the favoring breeze it was soon evident that her approach was rapid. She was a fast sailer, and the style of her rigging was that of a pleasure bireme rather than a merchantman. The freshening breeze rendered her oars unnecessary. Every one except those at the pumps strained his eyes in that direction.
Hope kindled in every breast, and hearts beat quickly.
The strange craft was of graceful model, and with every sail set her sharp prow cut the waves as she moved like a graceful bird in rapid flight; and yet how slowly the distance seemed to diminish! But new hope was new life! The men at the pumps received an endowment of herculean strength. Signals of distress were hoisted and responded to, and the beautiful ship steered directly for them.
The Salapiæ was now so low that she might go down at any moment. It was like a race in the games of [pg 297]Olympia, where the runners were full abreast as they neared the goal.
Now the strange sea-bird flies rapidly! See! she is rounding and coming alongside! What a beautiful spectacle, and how graceful her approach! She is built for pleasure and racing.
The rail and trimmings about her deck were brilliant with burnished metal, and her prow was surmounted with the graceful bronze statue of a Tarsian goddess. Upon her peak floated a silvery purple banner, heavily wrought with golden figures, representing various emblems and symbols in the Temple of Apollo. All her splendid appointments indicated that she must be owned by some one of patrician rank and great wealth. She came near. The name of the pleasure ship was discerned as the Nereid.
“We will save you!” cried the master in a loud voice. “Behold our boats! They will take off every one!”
Before Vivian had time to express his gratitude, the small boats were already lowered, and in a short time every one on the Salapiæ was safely transferred to the gayly decked bireme. All were most hospitably received, and their necessities kindly ministered unto.
Vivian told the commander of himself, and of the Salapiæ, and made known Serenus and Amabel as his honored friends. The master of the pleasure ship then indicated his desire to present them to the owner, whom he said was a Roman of noble family, and Vice Legate of Tarsus. They had chosen the fine morning for a pleasure excursion.
Descending a short flight of stairs, Vivian, Serenus, [pg 298]and Amabel were ushered into a cabin of goodly size, at the farther end of which were two men sitting at a table, evidently engaged in playing some kind of a friendly game. One was tall and straight, with long black hair, heavy eyebrows and lashes, and full beard, of dignified bearing, and features of the Roman cast. The other was rather slight and effeminate in personal appearance, with wavy brown hair, dark blue eyes, luxurious in costume, and an air of polish and refinement. The first was the Roman, Marcius, and the other Leander the Greek.11 After a brief exchange of polite greetings and congratulations, they all ascended to the deck to ascertain the fate of the Salapiæ. They were none too soon; for in a moment, with a great surge, she was received into the full embrace of the hungry sea, the billows closing over her forever.
Saulus and Amoz advancing into the cave found it dry and capacious, and also well lighted for some distance from the entrance. A long-continued cleft upward in the face of the rock freely admitted the outer air and daylight, and also sunlight at certain hours. The walls on either side gave evidence of previous human habitation, being marked with various inscriptions, symbolic characters, and drawings. In the deeper recesses the darkness increased, and various intricate passage-ways opened into curious ramifications and apartments of indefinite extent. The temperature was comfortable, and the atmosphere pleasant.
“Behold a favored habitation already prepared for us!” said Amoz. “The wisdom of the Voice is now made manifest!”
“Yea, of a surety it hath guided us to this place, and here we will abide!”
Amoz returned for the camel, and soon led him to the [pg 300]entrance, where he was unladen, and after a little delay a convenient place in the cave was selected for him. Before the shades of evening fell everything was well arranged for a stay of indefinite length.
The silence and seclusion seemed delightful, and even paradisaical to the restless and depressed soul of Saulus. The world, with its unending strifes and jealousies, its warring creeds and religious persecutions, and all the surge and sweat of human passion, was far away.
Often, above all things, man needs a face-to-face interview with his real self, in order that he may interpret the hidden springs of his own being, sound the intricate deeps of his primal nature, study ideals, and survey foundations. A life devoted entirely to the Objective, even if its ends be worthy, lacks an understanding of those subjective mental and spiritual reservoirs which is indispensable to harmonious development.
No one can avoid companionship. But objective personalities supply but a small part of the innate craving for intimate good cheer and friendliness. Whether or not consciously chosen, the ego must have a supremely close communion with its own thought-forms,—its veritable creations. As a duplicate selfhood it is firmly linked to them. If man must carry this secondary man with him, what sort of a character shall he be? His fellow-men, with whom he daily mingles, though seemingly near, are infinitely distant when compared with his own self-made mental environment,—his real world.
Every man is like an artist who is sentenced to dwell with his own pictures, so hung that they continually stare him in the face. But especially when from choice [pg 301]or necessity one for a season turns aside from his accustomed Objective, he finds intimate relationship with his subjective structures of the past. He is forced to a careful inspection of his own stored-up images, and it is woeful if they frown upon him. All the hates, envies, and antagonisms that he has ever projected are turned in upon himself. They surround and threaten him, and their growls are disquieting. He thought they had been sent away, but their accumulated recoil was only postponed.
On the other hand, all the loves, harmonies, and hopes that have been sent out, now possibly forgotten, rise up out of the misty deep and send back a smile, and return affection with added interest. They are lived over again.
Heavens and hells are stored up in the chambers of the soul, and if perchance diversion for a time may seem to bury them, their resurrection and visitation surely follow in due course.
But as Saulus looked in upon himself, he found that he could increasingly choose and control those things that should mentally dwell with him. With all his cruel impetuosity of the past, his life had not been devoid of good thoughts and deeds, and these he struggled to keep in review. But vastly greater than all else, when the dark Past marshalled itself before him, he turned to the Present God. How unlike was the God he found in Horeb to the tribal Deity he had served in the Holy City! The difference was in his own vision.
[pg 302]Often he would sit for hours with eyes closed and body relaxed, in silent communion with the felt Presence. At such times he realized a positive influx of sweetness and strength from the Universal, which thrilled him in mind and body.
The crust of his former hardness was breaking up, and his soul was growing childlike and plastic. The rigid dogmatism and intolerance in him, which for so long had been impenetrable to the Spirit of Truth, were dissolving, and love and wisdom were opened up, as water from a fountain whose seal had been newly unloosed.
Saulus marvelled as much at the seeming change in his God as in the transformation in himself. That Deity who had rejoiced in persecution, and been angry and jealous, was now the Author of love, peace, and concord. It was clear that his former concept of God had been but a telescopic likeness of himself.
The cave at Horeb proved to be a most agreeable place of abode, and Saulus found in his seclusion some of the happiest days of his life. Though the evening experiences of weakness and trembling seemed to have become a fixed habit, and scars and strains in soul and body were present as the legacy of the past, there was a gradual gain of vigor. The expanding soul was coming into a knowledge of its intrinsic divinity and oneness with the Father, and this reflected and expressed a growing wholeness.
Amoz, with the camel, made some explorations in the adjacent region; and about two hours distant, at a crossing of some of the more important paths, he found a small station of a few huts, where supplies could be [pg 303]replenished, and occasional communication had with the outside world.
But what was the world of the past to Saulus? It seemed as if he was severed from everything that had gone before, and had built a new world for himself. His own transformation was vastly greater than the change from the Holy City to the cave. But he had no intention of becoming a hermit. He would, for a time, gather his resources, and firmly knit the sinews of his soul, in preparation for future conquests for the truth among men. The mistakes and enmities of the past he would bury beneath a mountain of love and good-will which should brighten the world.
But what of past personal ties and obligations? First of all, what of little Cassia? What of his ardent affection and faithful promises to her? Was his love, which formerly was so consuming, yet alive and burning brightly? Did she stand out in lifelike proportions in his new world, or had her image largely faded out of his heart? What had she heard of him? and what would she think?
There were hours when these and similar questions thrust themselves upon Saulus with terrible force. The intense and all-absorbing love of Cassia, her unbounded confidence in him, and his former rapt devotion to her in return, stood out before him in letters of fire.
One evening his period of suffering, which he had already named “a stake in the flesh,” left him in a strange condition of unrest and uncertainty. The thought of Cassia filled him with something like its old-time intensity. Questions crowded themselves upon him, and [pg 304]clamored for an answer. But while the little maiden of the Sheepmarket still occupied a very warm place in his heart, with it was mingled a peculiar sense of ever-widening distance.
He put himself on the witness-stand,—
“Am I not a different Saulus from he who aforetime loved Cassia, and to whom she was so devoted?”
“Has this new and larger love driven out my affection, or only for a time overshadowed it?”
“Is she really fair and good, or did I deceive myself?”
“Can my love ever again be so all-absorbing?”
Yes and no were both echoed as responses through the troubled mind of Saulus. Opposing emotions marshalled themselves, and in confusing alternation took possession of him. For a little time he forgot the cave and all its associations in the fierce play of the contending forces.
But as the hours of the eventful evening wore away, the thought of Cassia gained the ascendency. The very inscriptions of ancient lore upon the walls seemed to melt into her name, and yield a fragrance of her personality.
At length a peculiar quietude slowly settled upon him, but he felt that it was not sleep. An unwonted lightness of soul and an ethereal consciousness subtly crept in and possessed his senses. The solid walls of the cave became unsteady, as if about to dissolve, but there was such a charming naturalness in the change that it did not much surprise him.
“Surely I am not dreaming!”
[pg 305]“Of a verity, I believe that I am out of the body!”
“What lightness! what freedom!”
Soon he found himself standing beside his own prostrate form. He clearly looked down upon the features—his features! The eyes were lightly closed, the lips slightly parted, and the breast rose and fell but feebly with the movement of the breath. Otherwise the body was still.
“What a mystery!”
“Have I died?”
“No! that cannot be, for I—no, not I, for I am here—but my body yonder is manifestly animate. How easily I can move!”
All feeling of strangeness soon wore off. Simply from force of desire he rose in the air for a short distance, and looked down upon his material counterpart as one would view a sleeping comrade. What wonderful liberty and power before unknown! No wings were needed to move through the air as he might choose.
Amoz, wide awake, was sitting quietly near the dim lamp, but saw nothing unusual, believing that Saulus was asleep. Though the little lamp gave but a feeble light, the cave, to Saulus, seemed filled with a soft but brilliant illumination. Considering the unwonted powers and resources at his command, he was surprised at his own lack of surprise. His senses were extended and sublimated to a wonderful degree. He then tried to attract the attention of Amoz, but received no recognition. Not to be baffled, he took hold of him, and finally shouted in his ear, but with no effect.
Then Saulus began to wonder. He could see and [pg 306]hear, but not be seen or heard. He moved about the cave and made some further exploration, and found that the solid walls were no obstruction. They were not solid. He could not only see through them, but pass through.
Then the thought of Cassia, which had been so strongly present before, again became uppermost. But something of the same uncertainty within himself regarding her still remained.
Realizing that desire was all that was now needed for propulsion, he came to a sudden determination.
“I will go up to the Holy City, and once more behold Cassia, and all the things that I left behind.”
With the speed of thought, he left his own body, Amoz, and the cave behind him, and passed out from the mountain over the desert, and on, on, unerringly, by the power of simple volition. Space and time were limitations of the past.
How “cabbin’d, cribb’d, and confined” is man when weighted down with the little load of dust which he has picked up, moulded, and for a brief season carried about! To him chasms of time and space are wide and unbridgable, and he travels his little round with barriers on every hand, and an ever-present sense of servitude.
But it is not the grosser body per se which is so much his real encumbrance as his false consciousness concerning it. He is steeped in a prevailing and ever-ruling materialism. He is enslaved because he is ignorant of the laws of his own independence. He not only lives in the thought that it—the body—is I, but also [pg 307]bows in subjection to those ever-varying conditions, which with chameleon-like accuracy shadow forth, in exact expression, the quality of his past composite of thought. The consciousness which he has carelessly or ignorantly taken on, both racially and individually, makes it his tyrannical master. Sometimes, smarting under its rule, he has turned and denounced it as bad, and hence a gloomy and destructive asceticism. This is no less a mistake than a garish and overwrought materialism.
Everything is useful, and everything good, when not misplaced. Evil is therefore not made up of the real quality of things, but of their misplacement in the mind of man. But the very misplacement is educative. So rapidly as the human mentality through evolutionary friction is rectified, the whole cosmos falls into line. Then the nothingness of evil, as an entity, will be made manifest. At present it is the name of a condition of relativity.
Psychical experiences, unshackled by the supposed necessary limitations of body in past ages, having been exceptional, have been counted as supernatural, abnormal, or only imaginary. The present age, with its scientific spirit, its broad toleration, and its recognition of the reign of law in every realm, increasingly finds that they are merely subtle links or aspects of the Universal Order. When their causation is traced, their normality observed, and their utility understood, the weirdness and seeming abnormity which have been put upon them will be removed from the human lens, and the true place and use of uncommon phenomena become evident. So [pg 308]long as they are regarded as strange, uncanny, or in some degree unsound in scope or tendency, they are made gratuitously harmful through the quality of thought concerning them.
With desert and mountain left behind in his flight, Saulus found himself at the portal of the Sheepgate of the Holy City, ready to enter.12
The city lamps flickered here and there, the gates were still open, and the throng passing in and out as was wont. The shifting panorama of people of various races, dialects, and costumes, pouring through the massive arched portal with the general din and confusion, were all so familiar, that Saulus almost forgot himself in the midst of an environment so long habituated. He stood for a few moments in a retired corner, striving to recall the strange thread of his eventful past, and then joined the current which was entering the city. His sense of ethereal lightness continued, and he walked by mere easy desire without effort. Quickening his pace, he accidentally came in sharp contact with a Roman guard who had charge of the gate, and who was rapidly [pg 309]going in the opposite direction to order it closed for the night. He involuntarily stopped to apologize, but was momentarily surprised to find himself utterly unrecognized. Then, halting for a moment, he surveyed his own bodily proportions, and they seemed as usual. But anon a sense of his newly recognized powers flashed upon him, and he passed on without further hindrance or obstacle.
What security and immunity!
He could see and hear everything, but did not attract attention, and could not if he would. Following the well-worn thoroughfare, he soon came to the inn, and turned and entered. He passed by Almon, who with some companions were in the courtway, and continued to the family apartment, but seeing nothing of Cassia he ascended to the roof, thinking that she might be in her wonted corner. The moon was shining brightly, and every well-known object stood out in bold relief, but Cassia was not there. Then he bethought himself that she was presumably in her own apartment. He hurried down the stairway, where every step was like an old acquaintance, and coming to the entrance, easily passed in without any movement of the closed door.
Cassia was seated upon a low divan, and near by, upon a small table, stood a lamp which had burned out for lack of oil. But, as in the cave, a strange soft light made everything clear to Saulus.
Her lithe, shapely form was wrapped in the ample folds of an easy négligé robe, and her long tresses fell [pg 310]behind in careless profusion over her comely white neck. She sat with one hand pressed against her childlike face, which was paler than was wont, her elbow resting upon the small table at her side. Her downcast eyes were swollen and red from weeping, her heart beating quickly, and a long-drawn sigh escaped from her lips as Saulus entered. He was distressed by her changed appearance. The happy smile which formerly played upon her delicate features had been replaced by a sorrowful, drawn expression, and the erstwhile full ripe red lips, so carelessly parted, were pale and compressed.
“How changed! Is this really you, Cassia dear?”
He seated himself by her side, and taking her hand in his, pressed it to his lips, and then, with a reverent air, gave her a kiss upon the forehead. She felt it not. Then he gazed into her eyes, hoping in vain that once again there might be reflected some image of himself.
Her manner was abstracted, and soon, with deep emotion, she began talking to herself,—
“O my Saulus! Where art thou? and what evil hath befallen thee? Behold thy Cassia weeps for thee and cannot be comforted. Shall I mourn thee as dead?”
Saulus listened in agony, but could not make his presence known. Every word cut him to the heart.
“I will not believe the tidings that have come to me. Some say that thou hast become a lunatic, and some that thou wast smitten by the sun and died, and others that thou hast joined the hated Nazarenes. Peradventure they are all lies! O Saulus! I am persuaded that thou art still faithful. I wot not but that thou art sick or in peril! O Saulus! why dost thou not return?”
[pg 311]Then she arose and paced to and fro in the little apartment, and Saulus beseechingly followed her. She spoke once more,—
“O my loved one! I feel almost that thou art here! Something like thy sweet breath came upon my cheek! Nay! my imagination doth deceive me!”
Then she sat down and buried her face in her hands, and burst into fresh weeping.
Saulus could endure the scene no longer. Thrilled and overwhelmed, he withdrew in like manner as he had entered. In the effort to calm himself he visited some of the other apartments.
After satisfying himself that his father, mother, and Rebecca were no longer in the Holy City, he again ascended to the roof and sat down, if possible to quiet his distress. Soon he grew more peaceful. He looked up into the starry firmament, far above the local and temporary scenes of turmoil and disappointment, and stillness came into his soul. The intensity of that which had been near and present was merged into a living sense of the broad, the Real, and the Universal. The personal affection which had been so narrowly centred, was submerged in a love that was all-embracing.
With a tranquil feeling of strength and inclination, and without any conscious passage of time, he found himself again in the cave at Horeb, and everything as he had left it. He sought his quiet, prostrate form, with which he had all the while been connected by an invisible spiritual cord, and with a quick but indescribable pang repossessed his corporeal frame, opened his eyes, and sat upright.