OLD “FIGGER-FOUR”

He played when summer sunsets glowed and

twilight deepened down,

His shrilling flute throbbed out and out in the

ears of the little town;

When the chores were done and his cattle fed

and the old horse munched his oats,

He took his flute to his racked old porch and

chirped his wavering notes.

And far and wide on the evening breeze from

the old house on the hill,

Went trinkling off the thin, long strains, like

the cry of the whip-poor-will.

And the women paused with the supper things

and harkened at the door,

And to the questioning stranger said, “Why,

that’s old Figger-Four.”


He bobbed to his work in his little field and

tidied his lonesome home;

He’d the light of peace in his quiet face, though

his shape was that of a gnome.

One knee was angled, hooked and stiff, the

mark of a fever sore,

And the saucy wits of the countryside had

dubbed him “Figger-Four.”

Yet those who knew him never thought of the

twist in the poor, bent limb,

And only strangers had a smile for the name

bestowed on him.

For if ever a man was a neighbor true, that

man, my friend, was he,

And the name he bore of “Figger-Four” was

our symbol of constancy.


’Twas he who came to the stricken homes and

closed the dead men’s eyes;

’Twas he who watched by the poor men’s biers

with a care no money buys;

’Twas he who sat by the fretful sick, and ne’er

could rash complaint

Disturb the placid soul and smile of the gnarled

old village saint.

And all came straight from out his heart, for

when one spoke of pay,

He simply smiled a wistful smile and said:

“That ain’t my way.”

A glistening eye was prized by him above a

golden store;

An. earnest clasp of neighbor’s hand paid every

debt and more.

And when there was no call for him from Tom,

or Dick or Jim,

He took his lip-stained flute and played a good

old gospel hymn.


So, when the placid, sunset skies were banked

above the town,

To every home and every ear those notes came

softly down.

And truly, friend, it used to seem the good old

man would play,

As if, for lack of else to do, to pipe our cares

away.

And tongues were hushed and heads were bent,

and angry home dispute

Gave way to silence, then to smiles, when

“Figger-Four’s” old flute

Sent down its long-drawn, mild reproach from

off the little hill—

Expostulation in its notes, a pleading in its

thrill.

And somehow, though the hearts were hot and

tongues were stirring fray,

Those dripping tones came down like balm and

cooled the wrath away.

He’d lived his lesson in our gaze; he was not

one who talked;

His life was straight, although, alas, he bobbed

so when he walked!

And though we’ve lost our richest men, we

mourn far more, far more,

The man we loved and who loved us, poor bent

old “Figger-Four.”








PHEBE AND ICHABOD

Allus was rowin’ it, early and late,

—Niff against this one an’ niff against that!

With a voice like a whistle, too big for her

weight,

That was the make-up of Aunt Phebe Pratt.

She’d give it to Ichabod, hot-pitch-and-tar,

Yappin’ as soon as he came to the house;

Allus was hankerin’ after a jar,

Allus was ready to kick up a touse.

But Ichabod he was as calm as a lamb,

Never talked back to her, no, s’r, not he—

Reckin that some men would rip out a damn.

But he was the mildest that ever ye see.

He’d set an’ he’d whistle an’ whistle away,

Waitin’ all patient ontil she got through;

She’d scream, “Drat ye, answer!” but Ick

he would say,

“Mother, ye’re talkin’ a plenty for two.

Who-o-o, who-o-o,

Who-o-o, who-o-o!

Nothin’ to say, mother! List’nun to you.”


Phebe is dead an’ has gone to her rest;

Ichabod lives in the house all alone;

—Ick isn’t lonesome because, so ’tis guessed.

He still hears the echoes of Aunt Phebe’s tone.

’Tis reckoned his ears were so used to the clack,

He somehow er’ ruther still thinks she is there;

Kind of imagines that Phebe is back,

An’ still is a-goin’ it, whoopity-tear!

Or p’raps she has ’ranged it by long-distance

line,

From her latest location, Above or Below,

To keep up her reg’lar old yappin’ an’ whine,

For fear the old man will at last have a show.

For he sets there an’ whistles an’ whistles

away,

Whenever there’s nothin’ in ’special to do;

An’ once in a while he’ll look up an’ he’ll say,

“Mother, ye’re talkin’ a plenty for two.

Who-o-o, who-o-o,

Who-o-o, who-o-o!

Nothin’ to say, mother! List’nun to you.”








WHEN OUR HERO COMES TO MAINE

Though the banners greet his coming when our

hero journeys home,

Though the city, wreathed in colors, bears his

name on flag-wrapt dome;

Does he come for speech and music? Does he

come for gay parade,

And to see a moving pageant in its festal hues

arrayed?

No, a gray and rain-washed farmhouse, hid

beside a country lane

Is the goal of all his hurry, when our hero

comes to Maine.

And past spectacle and pageant, bannered street

and brave array

He is rushing, soul on fire, toward a dearer

scene than they;

And the hand that gives him welcome may be

calloused, may be brown,

But the fervor of its greeting can’t be matched

back there in town.

’Tis a plain old dad in drillin’ who will clasp

his hand; and then

He will shout, “Lord, ain’t we tickled! God

bless ye, how’ve ye be’n?

Why, massy me, ye rascal, how like fury ye

have growed!

If I’d met ye in the village, swan, I wouldn’t

scursely knowed,

Your face behind them whiskers; ’fore ye know

it boys are men!

Hey, mother, here’s your youngster! Land

o’ Goshen, how’ve ye be’n?”


And if, you home returning son,

Some tithe of honor you have won,

Sweeter than telling the world of men

Is telling the old folks “how you’ve be’n.”


Though of wealth and brains and beauty, festal

Maine has summoned all

And the banquet gleams in splendor in the

city’s spacious hall,

Does he envy them the viands spread beneath

their flag-wrapt dome?

No, never, as he sits there at the old folks’

board back home.

There are all the dear old good things made

by mother’s loving hands,

—Such things, so he discovers, only mother

understands;

There’s the old and treasured china, figured

blue with gilded rim,

Saved to honor great occasions—now the

whole is spread for him,

And the mother’s eyes are wistful; she’s as-

sailed by constant doubt

Lest, spite of all his fearful raids, he somehow

“won’t make out.”

But, though the wanderer strives to eat, his

heart keeps coming up,

And tears roll out of brimming eyes he lowers

o’er his cup,

And in the throat there swells a lump, not

grief,—and yet akin—

To see the old folks bowed so low, so snowy-

haired and thin.

And yet their happy faces glow, until they’re

young again,

And dad lights up his old crook pipe and says,

“Now how’ve ye be’n?

Set down and tell us how ye’ve fared and tell

us how ye’ve done,

You’ve sent us letters right along, but them

don’t talk it, son.

A minit with ye, face to face, beats hours with

a pen;

God bless ye, bub! Ye’re welcome back! Now

tell us how’ve ye be’n?”


Ah, happy he who brings success

Back here to Maine to cheer and bless

The folks who ask in tenderness,

—Taking you into their arms again,

“God bless ye, dearie, how’ve ye be’n?”








UNCLE TASCUS AND THE DEED

Uncle Peter Tascus Runnels has been feeble

some of late;

He has allus been a worker and he sartinly did

hate

To confess he couldn’t tussle with the spryest

any more,

—That he wasn’t fit for nothin’ but to fub

around an’ chore.

When he climbed the stable scaffold t’other day

he had a spell,

—Kind o’ heart-disease or somethin’—an’ I

heard he like to fell.

Guess the prospect sort o’ scared him; so, that

ev’nin’ after tea,

—After he had smoked a pipeful—pretty sol-

emn, then says he,

“Reckin, son, ye’ve noticed lately that your

dad is gittin’ old,

An’ your marm is nigh as feeble;—much as

ever she can scold!”

Uncle Tascus said so grinnin’; for the folks

around here know

That no better-natured woman ever lived than

old Aunt Jo.

“Now, my son,” said Uncle Tascus, “you’ve

been good to me an’ marm,

An’ you know we allus told ye, ye was sure to

have the farm.

An’ we like your wife Lucindy; there has

never been no touse

As is generly apt to happen with two famblys in

the house.

I can’t manage as I used to; mother’s gittin’

pretty slim,

An’ to hold our prop’ty longer is a whim, bub,

jest a whim!

So I’ll tell ye what I’m plannin’, an’ I know

that marm agrees,

We’ll sign off an’ make it over; then we’ll sort

o’ take our ease.

So, hitch up to-morrer mornin’—drive us down

to Lawyer True,

Me an’ marm will sign the papers, an’ we’ll

deed the place to you.”


Lawyer True looked kind o’ doubtful when

they told him what was on.

“I’ll admit,” said he, “that no one’s got a

better boy than John.

Now don’t think I’m interferin’ or am prophe-

syin’ harm,

When I warn ye not to do it; don’t ye deed

away your farm.

I have seen so many cases—heard ’em tried

most ev’ry term—

Where a deed has busted fam’lies, that, I swow,

it makes me squirm

If I’m asked to write a transfer to a relative

or son.

Tascus, please excuse my meddlin’, but—ye

hold it till ye’re done.”


Uncle Tascus, though, insisted. He was allus

rather sot.

He allowed he’d show the neighbors jest the

kind of son he’d got.

—Said he’d show ’em how a Runnels allus

stuck by kith an’ kin,

So the lawyer drew the papers—an’ they started

home agin,

Uncle Tascus held the webbin’s—he has allus

driv’ the hoss—

John he chuckled kind o’ nervous. Then said

he, “Wal, pa, I’m boss!

Now ye’ve never got to worry—I’m the one to

take the lead,

Things were gettin’ kind o’ logy—guess I’ll

have to put on speed.

An’ as now I head the fam’ly, an’ you’re sort

of on the shelf,

Guess I’ll”—John he took the webbin’s—

“guess I’d better drive, myself.”


Wal, s’r, Uncle Tascus pondered, pondered,

pondered all that day.

An’ that evenin’ still was pond’rin’, as he

rocked an’ smoked away.

John he set dus’ up t’ table, underneath the

hangin’ lamp,

Ciph’rin’ out that legal paper with its seal an’

rev’nue stamp.

Then he folded it an’ chuckled. “That’s all

right an’ tight,” he said,

“Lawyers tie things tighter’n Jehu. Dad, ye’d

better go to bed.

You an’ marm are gettin’ feeble; mustn’t have

ye up so late!

I’m the boss—” John sort o’ te-heed, “so I’ll

have to keep ye straight.

’Sides, I’ll need ye bright an’ early. In the

mornin’ hitch the mare,

Take that paper down t’ court-house. Have it

put on record there.”


Uncle Tascus took the writin’, pulled his specs

down on his nose,

Read it over very careful. Then says he, “My

son, I s’pose

You are jest as good’s they make ’em; I hain’t

got no fault to find,

You are thrifty, smart an’ stiddy; rather bluff,

but allus kind,

An’ I guess you’d prob’ly use us jest as well’s

ye really knew,

But I hain’t so awful sartin that I’m done an’

out an’ through!

—Tell ye, son, I’ve been a-thinkin’ since ye

took an’ driv’ that hoss,

—Since ye sort o’ throwed your shoulders an’

allowed that you was boss!


Hate to act so whiffle-minded, but my father

used to say,

‘Men would sometimes change opinions; mules

would stick the same old way.’”

Uncle Tascus tore the paper twice acrost, then

calmly threw

On the fire the shriv’lin’ pieces. Poof! They

vanished up the flue.

“There, bub, run to bed,” said Tascus, with

his sweet, old-fashioned smile.

“These old hands are sort of shaky, but I guess

I’ll drive a while.”








SONGS OF THE SEA AND SHORE








TALE OF A SHAG-EYED SHARK

The mackerel bit as they crowded an’ fit to

grab at our ganglin’ bait,

We were flappin’ ’em in till the ’midship bin

held dus’ on a thousand weight;

When all of a sudden they shet right down an’

never a one would bite,

An’ the Old Man swore an’ he r’ared an’ tore

till the mains’l nigh turned white,

He’d pass as the heftiest swearin’ man that

ever I heard at sea,

An’ that is allowin’ a powerful lot, as sartinly

you will agree.

Whenever he cursed his arm shot up an’ his

fingers they wiggled about,

Till they seemed to us like a windmill’s fans

a-pumpin’ the cuss-words out.

He swore that day by the fodder hay of the

Great Jeehookibus whale,

By the Big Skedunk, an’ he bit a hunk from

the edge of an iron pail,

For he knowed the reason the fish had dodged,

an’ he swore us stiff an’ stark

As he durned the eyes an’ liver an’ lights of a

shag-eyed, skulkin’ shark.

Then we baited a line all good an’ fine an’ slung

’er over the side,

An’ the shark took holt with a dretful jolt, an’

he yanked an’ chanked an’ tried

To jerk it out, but we held him stout so he

couldn’t duck nor swim,

An’ we h’isted him over—that old sea-rover—

we’d business there with him.


A-yoopin’ for air he laid on deck, an’ the skip-

per he says, says he:

“You’re the wust, dog-gondest, mis’able hog

that swims the whole durn sea.

’Mongst gents as is gents it’s a standin’ rule to

leave each gent his own—

If ye note as ye pass he’s havin’ a cinch, stand

off an’ leave him alone.

But you’ve slobbered along where you don’t

belong, an’ you’ve gone an’ spiled the thing,

An’ now, by the pink-tailed Wah-hoo-fish,

you’ll take your dose, by jing!”

So, actin’ by orders, the cook fetched up our

biggest knife on board,

An’ he ripped that shark in his ’midship bulge;

then the Old Man he explored.

An’ after a while, with a nasty smile, he giv’ a

yank an’ twist,

“Hurroo!” yells he, an’ then we see the liver

clinched in his fist.

Still actin’ by orders, the cook fetched out his

needle an’ biggest twine—

With a herrin’-bone stitch sewed up that shark,

all right an’ tight an’ fine.

We throwed him back with a mighty smack,

an’ the look as he swum away

Was the most reproachfulest kind of a look

I’ve seen for many a day.

An’ the liver was throwed in the scuttle-butt,

to keep it all fresh an’ cool,

Then we up with our sheet an’ off we beat,

a-chasin’ that mackerel school.


We sailed all day in a criss-cross way, but the

school it skipped an’ skived,

It dodged an’ ducked, an’ backed an’ bucked,

an’ scooted an’ swum an’ dived.

An’ we couldn’t catch ’em, the best we’d do—

an’ oh, how the Old Man swore!

He went an’ he gargled his throat in ile, ’twas

peeled so raw an’ sore.

But at last, ’way off at the edge of the sea, we

suddenly chanced to spy

A tall back-fin come fannin’ in, ag’inst the sun-

set sky.

An’ the sea ahead of it shivered an’ gleamed

with a shiftin’ an’ silvery hue,

With here a splash an’ there a dash, an’ a rip-

ple shootin’ through.

An’ the Old Man jumped six feet from deck;

he hollered an’ says, says he:

“Here comes the biggest mackerel school since

the Lord set off the sea!

An’ right behind, if I hain’t blind, by the prong-

jawed dog-fish’s bark,

Is a finnin’ that mis’able hog of the sea, that

liverless, shag-eyed shark!”


But we out with our bait an’ down with our

hooks, an’ we fished an’ fished an’ fished,

While ’round in a circle, a-cuttin’ the sea, that

back-fin whished an’ slished;

An’ we noticed at last he was herdin’ the school

an’ drivin’ ’em on our bait,

An’ they bit an’ they bit an’ we pulled ’em in at

a reg’lar wholesale rate.

We pulled ’em in till the S’airey Ann was wal-

lerin’ with her load,

An’ we stopped at last’cause there wa’n’t no

room for the mackerel to be stowed.

Then up came a-finnin’ that liverless shark, an’

he showed his stitched-up side,

An’ the look in his eyes was such a look that

the Old Man fairly cried.

We rigged a tackle an’ lowered a noose an’

the shark stuck up his neck,

Then long an’ slow, with a heave yo-ho, we

h’isted him up on deck.

The skipper he blubbered an’ grabbed a fin an’

gave it a hearty shake;

Says he, “Old man, don’t lay it up an’ we’ll

have a drop to take.”

An’, actin’ by orders, the cook fetched up our

kag of good old rum;

The shark he had his drink poured first, an’ all

of us then took some.

Still actin’ by orders, the cook he took an’ he

picked them stitches out,

An’ we all turned to, an’ we lent a hand;

though of course we had some doubt

As to how he’d worn it an’ how’twas hitched,

an’ whuther’twas tight or slack,

But as best we could—as we understood—we

put that liver back.

Then we sewed him up, an’ we shook his fin

an’ we giv’ him another drink,

We h’isted him over the rail ag’in an’ he giv’

us a partin’ wink.

Then he swum away, an’ I dast to say, although

he was rather sore,

He felt that he’d started the trouble first, an’

we’d done our best an’ more.

’Cause a dozen times’fore the season closed

an’ the mackerel skipped to sea,

He herded a school an’ drove ’em in, as gen-

tlemanlike as could be.

We’d toss him a drink, an’ he’d tip a wink, as

sociable as ye please,

No kinder nor better-mannered shark has ever

swum the seas.


Now, the moral is, if you cut a friend before

that you know he’s friend,

An’ after he’s shown it, ye do your best his

feelin’s to nicely mend,

He’ll meet ye square, an’ he’ll call you quits,

providin’ he’s got a spark

Of proper feelin’—at least our crew can vouch

this for a shark.