NOT GEORGE WASHINGTON

An Autobiographical Novel

By P. G. Wodehouse and Herbert Westbrook

1907



CONTENTS

PART ONE Miss Margaret Goodwin's Narrative
CHAPTER 1 JAMES ARRIVES
CHAPTER 2 JAMES SETS OUT
CHAPTER 3 A HARMLESS DECEPTION



PART TWO James Orlebar Cloyster's Narrative
CHAPTER 1 THE INVASION OF BOHEMIA
CHAPTER 2 I EVACUATE BOHEMIA
CHAPTER 3 THE ORB
CHAPTER 4 JULIAN EVERSLEIGH
CHAPTER 5 THE COLUMN
CHAPTER 6 NEW YEAR'S EVE
CHAPTER 7 I MEET MR. THOMAS BLAKE
CHAPTER 8 I MEET THE REV. JOHN HATTON
CHAPTER 9 JULIAN LEARNS MY SECRET
CHAPTER 10 TOM BLAKE AGAIN
CHAPTER 11 JULIAN'S IDEA
CHAPTER 12 THE FIRST GHOST
CHAPTER 13 THE SECOND GHOST
CHAPTER 14 THE THIRD GHOST
CHAPTER 15 EVA EVERSLEIGH
CHAPTER 16 I TELL JULIAN
Sidney Price's Narrative
CHAPTER 17 A GHOSTLY GATHERING
CHAPTER 18 ONE IN THE EYE
CHAPTER 19 IN THE SOUP
CHAPTER 20 NORAH WINS HOME
Julian Eversleigh's Narrative
CHAPTER 21 THE TRANSPOSITION OF SENTIMENT
CHAPTER 22 A CHAT WITH JAMES
CHAPTER 23 IN A HANSOM
Narrative Resumed
CHAPTER 24 A RIFT IN THE CLOUDS
CHAPTER 25 BRIGGS TO THE RESCUE
CHAPTER 26 MY TRIUMPH






MIKE

A PUBLIC SCHOOL STORY



By P. G. Wodehouse

CONTENTS

   
CHAPTER
I. MIKE
II. THE JOURNEY DOWN
III. MIKE FINDS A FRIENDLY NATIVE
IV. AT THE NETS
V. REVELRY BY NIGHT
VI. IN WHICH A TIGHT CORNER IS EVADED
VII. IN WHICH MIKE IS DISCUSSED
VIII. A ROW WITH THE TOWN
IX. BEFORE THE STORM
X. THE GREAT PICNIC
XI. THE CONCLUSION OF THE PICNIC
XII. MIKE GETS HIS CHANCE
XIII. THE M.C.C. MATCH
XIV. A SLIGHT IMBROGLIO
XV. MIKE CREATES A VACANCY
XVI. AN EXPERT EXAMINATION
XVII. ANOTHER VACANCY
XVIII. BOB HAS NEWS TO IMPART
XIX. MIKE GOES TO SLEEP AGAIN
XX. THE TEAM IS FILLED UP
XXI. MARJORY THE FRANK
XXII. WYATT IS REMINDED OF AN ENGAGEMENT
XXIII. A SURPRISE FOR MR. APPLEBY
XXIV. CAUGHT
XXV. MARCHING ORDERS
XXVI. THE AFTERMATH
XXVII. THE RIPTON MATCH
XXVIII. MIKE WINS HOME
XXIX. WYATT AGAIN
XXX. MR. JACKSON MAKES UP HIS MIND
XXXI. SEDLEIGH
XXXII. PSMITH
XXXIII. STAKING OUT A CLAIM
XXXIV. GUERILLA WARFARE
XXXV. UNPLEASANTNESS IN THE SMALL HOURS
XXXVI. ADAIR
XXXVII. MIKE FINDS OCCUPATION
XXXVIII. THE FIRE BRIGADE MEETING
XXXIX. ACHILLES LEAVES HIS TENT
XL. THE MATCH WITH DOWNING’S
XLI. THE SINGULAR BEHAVIOUR OF JELLICOE
XLII. JELLICOE GOES ON THE SICK-LIST
XLIII. MIKE RECEIVES A COMMISSION
XLIV. AND FULFILS IT
XLV. PURSUIT
XLVI. THE DECORATION OF SAMMY
XLVII. MR. DOWNING ON THE SCENT
XLVIII. THE SLEUTH-HOUND
XLIX. A CHECK
L. THE DESTROYER OF EVIDENCE
LI. MAINLY ABOUT BOOTS
LII. ON THE TRAIL AGAIN
LIII. THE KETTLE METHOD
LIV. ADAIR HAS A WORD WITH MIKE
LV. CLEARING THE AIR
LVI. IN WHICH PEACE IS DECLARED
LVII. MR. DOWNING MOVES
LVIII. THE ARTIST CLAIMS HIS WORK
LIX. SEDLEIGH v. WRYKYN

    

LIST OF ILLUSTRATIONS

 

BY T. M. R. WHITWELL

* “ARE YOU THE M. JACKSON, THEN, WHO HAD AN AVERAGE OF FIFTY-ONE POINT NOUGHT THREE LAST YEAR?”
* THE DARK WATERS WERE LASHED INTO A MAELSTROM
* “DON’T LAUGH, YOU GRINNING APE”
* “DO—­YOU—­SEE, YOU FRIGHTFUL KID?”
* “WHAT’S ALL THIS ABOUT JIMMY WYATT?”
* MIKE AND THE BALL ARRIVED ALMOST SIMULTANEOUSLY
* “WHAT THE DICKENS ARE YOU DOING HERE?”
* PSMITH SEIZED AND EMPTIED JELLICOE’S JUG OVER SPILLER
* “WHY DID YOU SAY YOU DIDN’T PLAY CRICKET?” HE ASKED
* “WHO—­” HE SHOUTED, “WHO HAS DONE THIS?”
* “DID—­YOU—­PUT—­THAT—­BOOT—­THERE, SMITH?”
* MIKE DROPPED THE SOOT-COVERED OBJECT IN THE FENDER






THE ADVENTURES OF SALLY

By P. G. Wodehouse



CONTENTS

CHAPTER I. SALLY GIVES A PARTY
CHAPTER II. ENTER GINGER
CHAPTER III. THE DIGNIFIED MR. CARMYLE
CHAPTER IV. GINGER IN DANGEROUS MOOD
CHAPTER V. SALLY HEARS NEWS
CHAPTER VI. FIRST AID FOR FILLMORE
CHAPTER VII. SOME MEDITATIONS ON SUCCESS
CHAPTER VIII. REAPPEARANCE OF MR. CARMYLE—AND GINGER
CHAPTER IX. GINGER BECOMES A RIGHT-HAND MAN
CHAPTER X. SALLY IN THE SHADOWS
CHAPTER XI. SALLY RUNS AWAY
CHAPTER XII. SOME LETTERS FOR GINGER
CHAPTER XIII. STRANGE BEHAVIOUR OF A SPARRING-PARTNER
CHAPTER XIV. MR. ABRAHAMS RE-ENGAGES AN OLD EMPLOYEE
CHAPTER XV. UNCLE DONALD SPEAKS HIS MIND
CHAPTER XVI. AT THE FLOWER GARDEN
CHAPTER XVII. SALLY LAYS A GHOST
CHAPTER XVIII. JOURNEY'S END






THE MAN WITH TWO LEFT FEET

And Other Stories

By P. G. WODEHOUSE

1917



CONTENTS

BILL THE BLOODHOUND
EXTRICATING YOUNG GUSSIE
WILTON'S HOLIDAY
THE MIXER
CROWNED HEADS
AT GEISENHEIMER'S
THE MAKING OF MAC'S
ONE TOUCH OF NATURE
BLACK FOR LUCK
THE ROMANCE OF AN UGLY POLICEMAN
A SEA OF TROUBLES
THE MAN WITH TWO LEFT FEET






MY MAN JEEVES

By P. G. Wodehouse

1919

CONTENTS
 
LEAVE IT TO JEEVES
JEEVES AND THE UNBIDDEN GUEST
JEEVES AND THE HARD-BOILED EGG
ABSENT TREATMENT
HELPING FREDDIE
RALLYING ROUND OLD GEORGE
DOING CLARENCE A BIT OF GOOD
THE AUNT AND THE SLUGGARD






THE POLITENESS OF PRINCES

And Other School Stories

By P. G. Wodehouse



CONTENTS

THE POLITENESS OF PRINCES 1905
SHIELDS' AND THE CRICKET CUP 1905
AN INTERNATIONAL AFFAIR 1905
     Part 1
     Part 2
     Part 3
THE GUARDIAN 1908
A CORNER IN LINES 1905
THE AUTOGRAPH HUNTERS 1905
PILLINGSHOT, DETECTIVE 1910






A WODEHOUSE MISCELLANY

Articles & Stories

By P. G. Wodehouse



CONTENTS

ARTICLES
SOME ASPECTS OF GAME-CAPTAINCY
AN UNFINISHED COLLECTION
THE NEW ADVERTISING
THE SECRET PLEASURES OF REGINALD
MY BATTLE WITH DRINK
IN DEFENSE OF ASTIGMATISM
PHOTOGRAPHERS AND ME
A PLEA FOR INDOOR GOLF
THE ALARMING SPREAD OF POETRY
MY LIFE AS A DRAMATIC CRITIC
THE AGONIES OF WRITING A MUSICAL COMEDY
ON THE WRITING OF LYRICS
THE PAST THEATRICAL SEASON
POEMS
DAMON AND PYTHIAS
THE HAUNTED TRAM
STORIES
WHEN PAPA SWORE IN HINDUSTANI 1901
TOM, DICK, AND HARRY 1905
JEEVES TAKES CHARGE 1916
DISENTANGLING OLD DUGGIE 1912






A MAN OF MEANS

A SERIES OF SIX STORIES



CONTENTS

THE EPISODE OF THE LANDLADY'S DAUGHTER
THE EPISODE OF THE FINANCIAL NAPOLEON
THE EPISODE OF THE THEATRICAL VENTURE
THE EPISODE OF THE LIVE WEEKLY
THE DIVERTING EPISODE OF THE EXILED MONARCH
THE EPISODE OF THE HIRED PAST






MIKE AND PSMITH

By P.G. Wodehouse

1909



CONTENTS

PREFACE
1 MR. JACKSON MAKES UP HIS MIND
2 SEDLEIGH
3 PSMITH
4 STAKING OUT A CLAIM
5 GUERRILLA WARFARE
6 UNPLEASANTNESS IN THE SMALL HOURS
7 ADAIR
8 MIKE FINDS OCCUPATION
9 THE FIRE BRIGADE MEETING
10 ACHILLES LEAVES HIS TENT
11 THE MATCH WITH DOWNING'S
12 THE SINGULAR BEHAVIOR OF JELLICOE
13 JELLICOE GOES ON THE SICK LIST
14 MIKE RECEIVES A COMMISSION
15 ... AND FULFILLS IT
16 PURSUIT
17 THE DECORATION OF SAMMY
18 MR. DOWNING ON THE SCENT
19 THE SLEUTH-HOUND
20 A CHECK
21 THE DESTROYER OF EVIDENCE
22 MAINLY ABOUT SHOES
23 ON THE TRAIL AGAIN
24 THE ADAIR METHOD
25 ADAIR HAS A WORD WITH MIKE
26 CLEARING THE AIR
27 IN WHICH PEACE IS DECLARED
28 MR. DOWNING MOVES
29 THE ARTIST CLAIMS HIS WORK
30 SEDLEIGH V. WRYKYN