This process of identification is not however operative only with regard to hatred. It may exert also a powerful influence upon the direction of love and is often of special importance where parents definitely select a favourite from among their children, this favourite child being then invested with the love that was formerly directed to the favourite parent[209]. For this reason too parents may often be desirous that their children should adopt the profession, mode of life, beliefs or habits of their (the childrens') grandparents[210].

In all cases where a parent resents the coming into being The effect of parent-child love on the attitude of parents to each other or the presence of children, and especially in those where the resentment is based largely upon jealousy, some degree of displeasure is apt to be directed upon the other parent, who is regarded as responsible for the existence of the unwelcome intruder or as transferring to him an undue proportion of attention and affection. In this respect the situation recalls in the parents mind the earlier one in which, in his own childhood, he resented the love of his parents for each other, and in consequence of which the love which he himself bore to one of his parents became converted into, or was mixed with, hatred and contempt (cp. p. 110). Thus a father may experience towards his wife something of those feelings of outraged jealousy which he had formerly harboured towards his mother—a resuscitation and transference of feelings of this kind being rendered all the easier by the fact that his wife is very probably already to some extent unconsciously identified with his mother, so that the whole original situation is lived through again with the substitution of wife for mother and of child (especially of course in the case of a boy) for father.

It has recently been shown by Reik[211] that this last mentioned The Couvade factor of the resentment against the wife together with the previously discussed jealousy and hatred of the child are capable of throwing a very considerable amount of light upon certain customs practised amongst primitive peoples upon the occasion of the birth of a child—customs the origin and nature of which it appears at first sight very difficult to understand. To these customs we may well devote a brief consideration here, since they seem peculiarly adapted to bring out some of the most important aspects of the unconscious feelings of parents toward their offspring and—incidentally—toward one another. The customs in question are generally comprehended under the single term Couvade and may be divided, following Frazer, into two main groups:—

(1) the pre-natal or pseudo-maternal Couvade, which aims primarily and ostensibly at a magical transference of the mother's labour pains on to the person of the father, the father pretending to undergo what the mother experiences in reality;

(2) the post-natal or dietetic Couvade, in which the father pretends to be weak or ailing for a certain time after the birth of his child, during which time he keeps to his bed and refrains from eating certain foods.

As regards the pre-natal Couvade, it is obvious that the The pre-natal Couvade as an expression of ambivalent feelings towards the wife occasion of his wife's labour is one which is liable to arouse strong, and to some extent conflicting, emotions in the father. The danger and distress to which the mother is exposed naturally tend to arouse in the father feelings of sympathy and anxiety together with a desire to help and to alleviate the suffering to the best of his ability—an attitude which finds expression in an attempt to transfer the pain according to the principles of homoeopathic magic. At the same time the position of the mother is such as to stimulate in the father any hostile and cruel wishes he may entertain towards her, and, though such wishes will generally be confined entirely or principally to the Unconscious, they will usually be present in a greater or a less degree; since, besides any general cause of hostility and any tendency to Sadism (both of which are probably at work to some extent), there is liable to occur the more specific resentment connected with the bringing into existence of a rival, who may usurp much of the mother's care and affection which the father had hitherto enjoyed alone. There is reason to suppose therefore that at certain levels of the father's mind there is often present an actual enjoyment in the contemplation of the mother's sufferings and even a wish that she may die. In taking upon himself the mother's pains, the father is therefore, at one and the same time, doing his best to help the mother, subjecting himself to a talion punishment for desiring the mother to feel pain, and placing himself in a position more thoroughly to express and realise her suffering.

A similar attitude is indicated by the beliefs and practices The belief in demons with regard to demons which are frequently found associated with the Couvade. Demons are, from the psychological point of view, merely projections of thoughts and tendencies of the unconscious mind, and the demons who are supposed to be inflicting pain upon the mother are therefore an expression of the unconscious desire to inflict such pain. This desire manifests itself also in not a few of the measures which are taken to drive away the demons, measures which, though ostensibly undertaken for the benefit of the mother are in reality calculated to cause her fright, pain or discomfort, such as shooting, shouting, lighting fires in her proximity, playing with swords or even beating her.

While the pre-natal Couvade is thus principally the manifestation The post-natal Couvade results principally from hostile feelings towards the child of repressed hostility towards the mother, the post-natal Couvade would seem to arise chiefly as the result of a similar attitude towards the child. This is shown by the fact that the practices associated with this aspect of the Couvade are held to be necessary for, or at least conducive to, the life and health of the newly born infant, who is regarded as peculiarly liable to be affected by injudicious behaviour on the part of the father; it is also shown by the fact that the father is often held responsible for any evil that may befall the child during the first days of its existence; thus indicating an appreciation of the real unconscious tendency of the father to do the child some harm. As regards the prohibition of certain foods, it would seem that this is ultimately traceable to a repression of the tendency to kill and eat the child (and through him the grandfather whom he represents) a tendency which we considered in the last chapter, and one to which most, if not all, taboos on foods would appear in the last resort very largely to depend. The father's imaginary illness is also to some extent influenced by his hostile feelings against the mother:—negatively, in that by keeping to his bed he is prevented from doing her harm; positively, in that by compelling her to attend on him in his pretended helplessness, he forces her to work at a time when rest and freedom from trouble would have been more welcome.

Certain other students of the Couvade, such as Bachofen, The Couvade as an assertion of the father's rights are probably to some extent right too in maintaining that the practice represents an assertion by the father of his rights and privileges, being connected thus with the transition from mother-descent to father-descent. Certain it is that through the practice the father emphasises his share of the parenthood and thus effectually prevents any tendency to regard the mother as the sole, or even as the chief, producer and guardian of the child. In so doing, he also, we may suspect, endeavours to produce a compensation for the lack of attention from which he might otherwise suffer at this time, owing to the fact that the mother's share of parenthood is at the moment of birth by nature so much more prominent than that of the father.

This feeling of inferiority is frequently shared by fathers The corresponding attitude in modern life in modern civilised societies, who at the birth of their children are often unpleasantly impressed by their own uselessness and unimportance, and are easily led to complain of neglect or inattention, sometimes even going so far as unconsciously to produce in themselves some more or less psycho-genetic malady, in order to claim care and sympathy from those about them and to prevent a too exclusive preoccupation with the mother. In other ways too it is evident that many of the mental tendencies which underlie the practices connected with the Couvade are still rife in modern life. By his exaggerated excitement and anxiety, a father will often betray the conflicting nature of the emotions that beset him at the time of the birth of his child; while the manifold crude superstitions and practices and the numerous unreasonable beliefs and attitudes that are connected with pregnancy and birth serve further to demonstrate the archaic, and therefore fundamental, nature of the ideas and feelings that centre round these events[212].

The hostility which a parent may harbour towards his child or children from the causes we have been considering Parent-child hostility in later life will, under happy conditions of individual and family development, tend naturally to diminish as time passes and permits of adjustment to the new circumstances occasioned by the existence of the children. More especially of course, the feelings of hatred and jealousy, which may originally have been aroused, will usually be overcome, or at least adequately held in check, by the feelings of parental love which are brought into play by contact with the child and by the process of providing for its needs. Even in the most devoted parents there usually remains however some remnant of jealousy or resentment that lurks in the Unconscious and can be detected by the process of Psycho-Analysis. This is especially the case as regards the relations of parents to the children of their own sex, where the motive of jealousy is liable to be added to the other motives that arise as a result of the sacrifices that have to be incurred by the parent. In general however it may be safely asserted that in no case does the very real antagonism that exists between the activities and enjoyments of the father and mother as individuals and as parents respectively fail to manifest itself in some degree of mental conflict, and that in no case are the hostile feelings against the children that result from this antagonism entirely abolished from the mind.

As time proceeds and children grow up, two new factors New factors influencing the attitude of parents to children in later life of great importance are liable to be added to those that determine the attitude of parents towards their children, although in many cases one or both of these factors may have been present in germinal form from the beginning. Both factors are connected with the biological truth that in the history of the race the child is the natural successor and substitute of the parent; but while having this much in common, they differ markedly in their psychological and social nature and effects, one factor tending to produce envy and hatred towards the children, the other love, pride and joy in their success.

The first of these two factors consists in the unwelcome Envy of childrens' superiority realisation that the child will shortly be, or perhaps already is, the equal or even the superior of the parent in certain of the more important of life's aspects. Thus the father may become painfully aware of the fact that he is being gradually but certainly outmatched by his son in strength or skill or learning; while the mother may similarly find herself becoming outrivalled by her daughter in beauty, charm, accomplishments or intellectual power. This awareness on the parent's part of the increasing failure of their own powers relatively to those of their children is naturally liable to increase the bitterness that they may already feel towards their children for other reasons. Just as the self-interests of the parents formerly caused them to grudge the care, attention and effort which the existence of the children demanded, so now their pride and self-love may cause them to grudge their children that superiority which nature in the course of time bestows upon them.

It might well seem indeed as though some degree of Parents' identification of themselves with their children ill-feeling on these grounds would be inevitable in all parents in whom the self-regarding sentiments were strongly or even normally developed. Fortunately however it would appear that there exists a way by which the hatred and unhappiness arising from this source can to a very large extent be converted into feelings of an opposite and socially more satisfactory character. It is here that there comes into play the second of the two factors mentioned above. This factor consists of the process whereby the parent identifies himself with his child, as it were incorporates the child into his larger self and is thus able to take pleasure in the increasing powers of the child as if they were his own. We have already had occasion to study the corresponding process of identification in the mind of the child; the child tends naturally to identify himself with his parents or their substitutes, seeking thereby an increase of his own power and satisfaction. For precisely similar reasons the parent, as old age approaches (and even before then), will tend to identify himself with his child, endeavouring thus to find compensation for the diminution of his own personal capacity. Thus a father may regard the successes and failures of his son in his scholastic and professional career with the same personal interest, the same intimate emotional response as if they were his own, while the mother often follows her daughters' erotic ambitions and adventures, her matrimonial and parental life with a similar intensity of feeling.

This identification plays moreover a further and perhaps This identification as a means of obtaining immortality still more important part inasmuch as it affords a means of overcoming the finality of individual death, and insures the parent, through his children and ultimately through their descendants, the nearest approach to material immortality that can be hoped for here on earth. The love of children and interest in their welfare which springs from the altruistic and object-loving tendencies involved in the parental instincts may thus become fused with the strongly egoistic tendencies grouped together under the self-preserving and self-regarding instincts and sentiments; that dearest and most powerful wish of the individual, qua individual—the desire for immortality—thus obtaining satisfaction in the same way and at the same time as the strongest and most distinctive of all altruistic impulses—those which minister to the needs of the race through the love and care which is bestowed upon children by their parents. A reconciliation of the egoistic and the altruistic, of the personal and the racial trends, is thus brought about—a reconciliation which may be of the greatest value to the individual, to the family and to the larger social organism of which they both form a part.

Not only is a parent capable of obtaining through his children the satisfaction attendant upon a prolongation of his own existence; he may also through them enjoy vicariously benefits, privileges, successes and pleasures of which he himself has been deprived or has failed to reap advantage. What Vicarious enjoyments of children's pleasures and successes the pessimist von Hartmann has styled the third stage of humanity's illusion with regard to the possibility of happiness—the idea that the pleasures which we have ourselves failed to find may nevertheless be enjoyed by those that come after us—is nowhere more strongly rooted than in the minds of parents when they think of the future of their offspring. Whether the underlying hope be illusory or not, there can be no doubt that many parents (and these on the whole of the nobler minded sort) are willing to labour that their children may enjoy the result of their efforts, to amass riches that their children may have the power that wealth confers, or even to acquiesce in personal failure, if only their children may thereby be brought nearer to success.

This aspect of the process of identification is one which, Its sociological significance we may very reasonably expect, will tend to play an increasing rôle as mental development proceeds and men come to work more and more with distant ends in view. If this expectation is correct, the aspect in question is probably one of very great biological and sociological importance, for even under present conditions it is clearly of much value in stimulating effort and in fostering thoroughness, far-sightedness and care. If a man realises that on his labours are dependent not only his own happiness and well being but those of his children and his children's children, he possesses one of the highest but at the same time one of the most efficient incentives to truly moral conduct to which the developed human mind is open[213].

In order that the benefits and compensations attendant The development of the child requires a corresponding readjustment of the parents' attitude upon an identification of this sort may be achieved, it is necessary that there should take place a gradual change of attitude towards the child on the part of the parent—a change which is very necessary also upon other grounds. In the fourth and fifth chapters of this book we studied the manner in which the successful development of the child requires an ever increasing degree of emancipation from the ties of affection and dependence which bind him to the parent. The proper carrying out of this emancipation requires a corresponding loosening of the ties that bind the parent to the child, involving a readjustment in the direction of the parent's interests and affections. If the parent continues to lavish on the child, as he grows up, the same amount of attention and affection that he required in infancy, the normal development of the child's love impulses is liable to be very seriously impeded; and should the child, in spite of this difficulty, attain the stage of directing his love outside the family, the parent is bound to suffer disappointment at what appears to him (or at least to his unconscious mind) to be the thanklessness and faithlessness of his child, and to feel jealousy and hatred towards the person who has supplanted This is as necessary for the parent as for the child him in the child's affection. Similarly, should the parent too long or too extensively afford protection to the child, exercise authority over him or take over responsibility from him, the child will inevitably find it difficult to acquire the necessary degree of emancipation from the parent's care and jurisdiction; and should he after all succeed in acquiring such emancipation, the parent will certainly suffer as the result of being deprived all too suddenly and unwillingly of the directive power over the child which he had hitherto enjoyed, and of the outlet for his interests and emotional tendencies, which the care of a child had hitherto afforded. The extreme demands on the energies and affections of the parents (particularly on those of the mother) caused by the utter helplessness of the human infant grow progressively less as the child develops. The natural course of events demands therefore on the part of the parents a gradual modification, redistribution and redirection of the emotions and interests that centred round the child in its early life; an undue prolongation of the tendencies natural to the early days of parenthood must necessarily in the long run be detrimental to the true interest both of child and parent.

Obvious as these considerations may well seem to be, the Difficulty and importance of this readjustment logical carrying out of the conclusions to which they point is often far from easy. In practice it is often as hard for parents to wean themselves from their primitive attitude towards their children, as it is for the children themselves to acquire the necessary mental and moral independence of their parents. The intense and profound emotions stirred up in the parent by his relation to the child are not readily displaced into any other channel, and fixation at a level only suited to the early stages of the filio-parental relation may easily result. The consequent struggle of the parent to keep possession of the child gives rise to some of the most serious and tragic problems of family life. It is one of the chief causes of the friction that so often exists between the older and younger generations of the same family; it tends, as we have seen, to hamper the mental and moral development of children and to foster in them psychical conflicts which may produce permanently evil effects upon their character: in the parents themselves it often favours selfishness and real disregard for the children's welfare, under the guise of altruistic tenderness and care; and finally it causes much unhappiness to the parents when, as inevitably happens to some extent, they observe that, in spite of all their efforts, their children are in one manner or another drifting from them, as by coming under the influence of friends who are outside the circle of the parents' acquaintance, by the adoption of habits, interests or careers that are opposed to family tradition, or by marriage to persons who to the parents' eyes appear to be unsuitable[214].

The question of marriage is, under existing conditions The attitude of parents to the marriage of their children one of special importance in this connection, since nothing else (with the exception perhaps of permanent separation in space) tends to cut off individuals to an equal extent from the direct influence and contact of their parents. Parents who ardently desire to retain a strong influence over their children are therefore as a rule opposed to the marriage of the latter, and usually display marked antagonism to their sons or daughters-in-law: an antagonism which is the source of very frequent domestic unhappiness. Since the marriage of their children is however in many cases difficult or impossible to avert, such parents will often seek to minimise the disturbing effect of marriage by arranging that their children shall live near them after marriage or that they shall marry a partner whom they regard as suitable. In estimating suitability for this purpose, they are usually guided by the extent to which the partner in question is likely to constitute a serious obstacle to the operation of their own (the parents') influence. Hence it often comes about that the persons selected are sexually unattractive, of weak character or deficient in intellectual power[215].

The avoidance of the evils consequent upon the insufficient Means of avoiding insufficient parental re-adjustment readjustment of the parents attitude towards their children is one of the most pressing tasks of an enlightened hygiene of family life. In the accomplishment of this task it would seem that there are two factors which are of great importance: in the first place, the happiness of the relationship between the two parents themselves (for, as we have seen, it is especially in cases when marriage is unsuccessful that there is likely to be an excessive outflow of emotion in the direction of the children); in the second place, the maintenance of outside interests, hobbies or occupations throughout the period of parenthood and the gradual reinforcement of such interests as the growth of the children renders the demand upon the parent's energy less extensive and continuous. Where the circumstances in these two respects are satisfactory, they usually permit of the necessary readjustment of parental energies with the minimum of friction and suffering.

CHAPTER XV

ORIGIN AND DEVELOPMENT
OF THE FAMILY TENDENCIES—HATE ASPECTS

Since these groups of impulses have shown themselves to play a part of such importance in human mind and human conduct, it is not unnatural that, having completed our review of The theoretical treatment of our subject and its difficulties their manifestations, we should feel some curiosity as to the manner in which they have come to play this part in the course of the past history of the human race and as to the nature of the influence which they have exerted on this history. Unfortunately in the present state of our knowledge it would not seem possible to gratify this curiosity except in a very partial, unsatisfactory and uncertain manner. The psychological mechanisms with which we have been dealing have themselves, for the most part, been too recently discovered to have as yet been adequately correlated, or brought into connection, with the relevant facts of anthropological, ethnographical or biological science. The data from these latter sources are moreover, in spite of much diligent research in recent years, still in many important respects too incomplete to afford a satisfactory basis for such correlation. As a consequence of these conditions, it is to be feared that any attempt that we may make to exhibit the psychical tendencies with which we have been concerned, in their bearings upon early human history, or to explain their origin in the light of this history or of the general conditions of human life and mind, will result in little more than a restatement of our psychological principles from a slightly different point of view. Nevertheless the attempt may be worth making. A summary of some of the main implications of our psychological knowledge in this field may perhaps not seem amiss—especially in view of the astonishing and unlooked-for character of much of this knowledge—and if we succeed in establishing a few connections between our psychological data and the related facts of anthropology or biology, these may perhaps serve as starting points—to be either proved or else corrected—for subsequent enquiries based on a more sound foundation. The reader will understand therefore that, in so far as in the present and the two succeeding chapters there is anything that is not—explicitly or implicitly—contained in what we have already said, we shall have left the region of comparative certainty afforded by the results of observation and induction, and shall be travelling for the most part on the unsure ground of speculation—speculation that can be justified only on the plea of natural curiosity, and by the hope of opening up a few vistas which may be more fully surveyed by better equipped workers in the future.

Of the two main groups of tendencies to which we have The hate tendencies to some extent inevitable above referred—which we may briefly call the love and hate groups—the former opens up a number of problems in this connection which would seem to be in some significant respects deeper, more important and more complex than those raised by the latter. The hate tendencies are, indeed, as regards the cause and nature of their origin and development, in the main not so very difficult to understand. Psychologists are pretty well agreed as to the circumstances which give rise to anger and fear—the emotions which chiefly underlie the attitude of hate. Anger arises when the activities, tendencies or wishes of the individual are interfered with or when the individual is unwillingly forced to undergo some disagreeable or undesirable experience, and it is directed to the object from which such interference or such infliction of undesired experience is forthcoming. Fear arises when harm is threatened to the individual or to that which he possesses or holds dear, and is directed to the threatening object[216].

Now, as we have seen, the normal conditions of family life necessarily give rise to some extent to the situations which arouse these emotions. Through the mere exercise of ordinary parental authority and care, and more especially through the process of elementary moral training and education, the parent invariably interferes in some ways with the primitive desires and tendencies of the child, and threatens the child with punishment in the event of his transgressing the parental prohibitions; the conditions are therefore present for the arousal in the child's mind of anger and fear towards the parent, should the child be at all susceptible to these emotions.

We have seen that the hate attitude is sometimes and Jealousy as a necessary consequence of marriage to some extent brought about indirectly as a consequence of jealousy aroused in connection with the love attitude (jealousy being caused by interference with the successful function of the love impulses), sometimes more directly by a more general hostility between parent and child. In so far as the first case is concerned, the hate attitude is obviously dependent upon the existence of sexual rivalry between the child and one of the parents. Granted the existence of the love impulse of the child towards the parent of the opposite sex, the conditions of this rivalry are to be found whenever the two parents live together—in fact wherever there is marriage, and more especially wherever there is monogamy. Now marriage of some sort would seem to exist in practically every human community—both primitive and cultured—that has as yet been subjected to any degree of careful study or investigation; in fact there is every reason to regard it as an institution fundamentally characteristic of the human race and of immemorial antiquity. It is therefore not surprising that we find evidence of sexual jealousy between parents and children in many early myths and customs and in the legends and beliefs of many peoples, both cultivated and uncivilised. There is good ground for supposing that parent hatred based on jealousy has been called into existence in innumerable successive generations and has thus had ample opportunity to impress itself on the forms, traditions and institutions of human society.

In those societies which have developed or maintained a and especially of monogamy relatively strict monogamy we should expect that this kind of parent hatred would be more easily and extensively developed than in those in which the marriage tie is looser, wider or more elastic, since in the former case the hatred bred of jealousy would necessarily be directed on to a single individual, whereas in the latter it might lose in intensity through diffusion over a number of different persons. Now it is a feature of that relatively early stage of culture which with Wundt[217] we may perhaps call the Totemic age that the family ties are as a rule relaxed in favour of those wider bonds that unite together the different members of the tribe or clan. In this age we often find that some form of group marriage exists or shows evident traces of having existed; in distinction to the more or less strictly monogamous unions that are characteristic both of those races of mankind which are at a more primitive level of development and of those that have reached a more advanced stage of culture. We might imagine therefore that this Totemic Parent-child jealousy perhaps less pronounced in the Totemic Age age was distinguished by a lessening of the parent jealousy which must probably have existed both in the earlier and in the later societies of a more strictly monogamic kind. We have seen indeed that a reconciliation between fathers and sons is one of the motives which finds expression in the initiation ceremonies—ceremonies that arise and flourish principally at the Totemic stage of culture. The men's clubs—one of the institutions most typical of this age—would again seem to point to the existence of a tendency to do away with the hostility between man and man by establishing a community of interest and affection between the members of the clubs, who are brought into more intimate contact with one another than would be the case if they remained each more strictly within the confines of their own families. A similar result is no doubt to some extent achieved by the corresponding throwing together of the women, who are freed from the more intimate dependence on the male that is fostered in a more closely knit family system. At the same time the relative sexual freedom that is frequently permitted, especially before marriage, affords an unfavourable environment for the development of jealousy; as is shown by the absence of this passion so frequently exhibited both within and without the marriage bond. Indeed there would seem to be almost necessarily some degree of correspondence between the strictness of the marriage relationship and the development of jealousy. So long as men and women regard themselves as possessing certain exclusive rights and privileges over one or more members of the opposite sex, they are bound to resent any conduct which might appear to constitute an infringement or challenge of these rights; freedom from jealousy can only be obtained under these circumstances by perfect confidence that no such attempt will be made, or, if made, will be unsuccessful—a condition of mind which requires a more complete adaptation to the married state on the part of all concerned than can usually be secured. On the other hand, if no such exclusive privileges as are implied in the strict observance of the marriage bond are demanded or expected, there is no ground or occasion for the development of any high degree of jealousy. Monogamy, the strictest and most exclusive form of marriage, is thus most especially liable to bring jealousy in its train, since here all sexual tendencies and privileges are centred round one person, who has to be guarded at whatever cost against the advances of all other suitors[218].

The Totemic age, characterised as it is by a recession in importance of the family ties as compared with those of a wider social unit, would appear then in one of its aspects to have been marked by a strong tendency to get rid of jealousy, which differs in this respect both from preceding and succeeding ages together with certain other of the passions which are aroused in connection with, or centre round, the family. It differs thus from the more strictly monogamic condition, which, according to our most recent knowledge, would seem to exist among the really primitive races of mankind[219]. It differs also, perhaps even more markedly, from the conditions of the patriarchal family—that form of family which seems on the whole to be characteristic of the post-Totemic stage of culture[220]. At this latter stage the family—now however often in an enlarged form comprising several smaller family groups and several generations—once more becomes the predominant social unit; societies based on the tribal or clan system having apparently proved themselves more unstable or less capable of expansion and development than those based upon the more fundamental unit of the family. The decline of jealousy and of the hatreds based thereon was therefore, we may suppose, at the close of the Totemic age replaced by a recrudescence of that more vigorous hostility between father and son, mother and daughter, between brothers and between sisters, which is to some extent inevitable in a closely united monogamic family—a hostility which has continued to exist uninterruptedly until the present day.

Much the same is also true, no doubt, as regards those aspects of intra-family hostilities which are not based on jealousy. In the monogamic families of primitive man these Similar differences as regards other aspects of intra-family hatred latter aspects of hostility had no doubt free scope within certain limits. In the looser family conditions of the Totemic age it seems probable that passions based on mutual interference of different members of the family with each other's interests and desires would be a good deal less developed. In the patriarchal family of the later epoch conditions would seem however to become favourable once again to the development of hostility of this kind, particularly to that between father and son. The close and permanent organisation of the family under the patriarchal system brings it about that the interests of father and son continue to be to some extent antagonistic long after the son has reached maturity, whereas in the state more nearly resembling that of nature the son would usually be free from paternal tutelage as soon as he had attained to full growth.

The family life of most modern civilised nations is less The hate-producing causes are still potent in modern civilisation closely organised than that of the patriarchal family at its full development; children as a rule becoming relatively or completely free from parental jurisdiction, if not before, at least as soon as, they have married and founded a home of their own. Nevertheless the lessening of antagonism that is brought about by this relaxation of the family organisation is often to some extent counterbalanced by the increasing social and economic dependence of children on their parents that is apt to arise in advanced and complex societies, specially among the higher and wealthier classes (cp. above p. 58). The irksomeness of parental restrictions is apt to be increased too, as civilisation advances, by the fact that the rules of conduct and of morals inculcated by the parents tend to become in many respects increasingly remote from the behaviour to which the young child's primitive tendencies naturally impel him; so that a more violent friction is likely to arise between the authority of the parents and the will of the children in their early years[221].

For these reasons the antagonism between parents and children remains, as we know, strong even in present day civilisation, though there are grounds for thinking that it may perhaps have been stronger in those earlier stages of society in which a more complex patriarchal system flourished.

As regards the negative or reactionary aspects of the hate Negative aspects of the hate attitude attitude, it is pretty clear that the influences which tend to produce repression or inhibition of the hate are in the main of two kinds:—(1) "moral" influences, such as the acceptance of a code of ethics, or of a tradition, with which parent hatred is incompatible; (2) the co-existence with the hate of a genuine love, admiration or respect towards the parent who is hated.

As regards the ultimate psychological nature of the first "Moral" influences of these factors, we are face to face with a problem concerning which there is at present no very great degree of certainty or unanimity, i. e. the problem of the general nature of the forces of repression which inhibit the immoral or anti-social tendencies of the mind. Freud[222] is inclined to lay stress upon the impulses centering round the self (though more especially in connection with the repression of the sexual trends); others, like McCurdy[223] Trotter[224] and Hart[225], emphasize the importance of the gregarious tendencies in this connection. Whatever may be their ultimate basis in the mind, there can be little doubt however that these moral forces on the whole increase with advancing culture, thus tending always to substitute an indirect or negative for the more primitive direct or positive expression of the hate attitude towards the parents.

As regards the second factor, the arousal of love in opposition Love that conflicts with and represses hate to hate is evidently dependent partly (a) upon the child's own innate capacities for affection, tenderness and gratitude; partly (b) upon the extent to which these capacities are awakened and called into play by a kind and loving attitude on the part of the parent towards the child. As regards these factors it seems very difficult to say in the present state of our knowledge whether there has been any considerable or lasting change during the later period of human development. The extent to which tender feelings have been aroused between parents and children of the same sex (for it is of course with the relations between these that we are chiefly concerned here) has naturally varied from age to age and from one family system to another; the intensity and frequency of these feelings being as a rule in inverse proportion to the intensity of the hate attitude. Thus it is that those times and places which have produced the minimum of hatred between parents and children have also probably on the whole tended to bring about the greatest degree of repression of such hatred as did still exist—the repression being due to the influence of love tendencies which were opposed to those of hate. Nevertheless it is not easy to bring forward any evidence to show a general tendency towards increase of the tender feelings with which we are here concerned. Savage parents in many cases appear to exhibit a very considerable degree of affection towards their children, while the children are in their turn often not backward in their manifestations of love and respect. Parents in civilised communities, on the other hand, have often shown themselves (under a veneer of kindness or consideration) singularly brutal and selfish in the treatment of their children; the latter not infrequently manifesting a corresponding lack of genuine affection for their parents. Under these circumstances it would seem that we are perhaps justified in attributing the undoubted increase in the repression of the hate attitude to the more efficient operation of the "moral" factors, rather than to any growth of tenderness between parent and child which might have served more effectually to counter-act the hostile tendencies.

CHAPTER XVI

ORIGIN AND DEVELOPMENT
OF THE FAMILY TENDENCIES—LOVE ASPECTS

We have seen that, in its positive form, this love attitude The positive and negative aspects that have to be considered manifests itself in an incestuous affection—in the first place, perhaps always of the child for its mother; in what is perhaps a slightly more developed, but certainly a more easily recognisable form, of the child for its parent of the opposite sex; in a still more developed form, of brothers for sisters, or of more remote relatives for one another. In its negative form this attitude is manifested as a violent antipathy to any such incestuous attachment, at any rate in so far as this attachment assumes the sexual form or anything resembling such a form. We have here to consider, first, what can be the influences which bring about this incestuous attachment in the human mind—an attachment of such durability that, as we have seen, it determines to a large extent the nature and course of the whole of the subsequent love life of the individual, as well as of many of the activities which lie apparently far removed from the sphere of love or sex; secondly, given the existence of this attachment, what are the further influences which have brought about its repression—a repression that corresponds in strength and influence to the importance of the positive impulse to which it is opposed.

Let us consider first the positive side of the love attitude. Influences determining the positive aspects The influences which, we may suggest, play an important part in bringing about a strong tendency to the formation of incestuous affections in the human mind may be most conveniently grouped under a number of separate heads.

(1) First in time and perhaps also in importance would The long duration of human childhood seem to be a group of factors connected with the long period of infancy, childhood and youth, which characterises, to a greater or a less extent, all branches of the human race. During this long period, the child is, as we have more than once emphasised, wholly or partially dependent on its parents for the satisfaction of its needs. Now it is a fundamental tendency of the mind to experience pleasure in connection with, and generally to appreciate, those objects which administer to, or are associated with, the basic needs and requirements of the organism; i. e. the mind tends naturally to react towards these objects in a manner which, at a higher level of development, we should designate as love[226]. It is not altogether surprising then that, the parents being for many years associated with the fulfilment of the great majority of conscious needs, the nascent love of the child should be directed to them in a greater measure than to any other object.

(2) It is a pretty generally recognised fact that—in virtue Primitive sympathy reacting on the expressions of instinctive parental feeling of a process which McDougall[227] has conveniently designated primitive sympathy—among the stimuli which are most effective in producing any given feeling or emotion are the manifestations of that feeling or emotion in some other person or persons. Now it is generally admitted by psychologists that the presence of children tends to evoke an instinctive affection and tenderness on the part of the parents; the biological justification, and indeed necessity, for such an instinct, as well as for the fact of its existence being indeed sufficiently manifest—especially no doubt in women but to a considerable extent in men also. In virtue of this instinctive tenderness parents naturally give expression to their affection in the presence of the children, whereupon the latter, reacting through primitive sympathy, tend to experience affection in their turn and to direct it upon the nearest and most appropriate object—i. e. the parent whose manifestations of tenderness have aroused the emotion. This sequence of events being frequently repeated, the child's affections come in time to be firmly attached to the parent, reciprocating the affection he receives from this direction.

(3) Again, it is evident that, especially in primitive Love and respect as elements of imitation and suggestibility communities, the child is dependent on its parent, not only for the fulfilment of its elementary needs and desires, but also for the opportunity of learning how to fulfil these needs and desires in its own person. This process of learning implies—especially perhaps in immature minds—a tendency to imitate the teacher and to be suggestible towards him. Now suggestibility, as we have already seen, probably depends to a considerable extent upon love; it certainly depends largely upon an attitude of respect or admiration on the part of the one who is suggestible. Much the same is true of imitation; we notoriously tend to imitate those whom we love, whom we admire, and to whom we look up with confidence and veneration. This being the case, the adoption of an attitude of love and respect towards his parents, would be of considerable advantage to the child, as enabling him to acquire more readily those capacities, habits and ideas which he most naturally learns from his parents (and later on from those on to whom the parent-regarding feelings are displaced) through imitation and suggestion. In view of the comparatively unformed and plastic condition of many of the instinctive tendencies in human infants, the ability to learn easily and quickly from their elders is of great importance to children in their early years. We have here then very possibly a factor which contributes to the survival-value of a strong parent attachment, though it may not actually call any such attachment into being.

(4) Modern psychology is showing more and more that the growth of man's principal instinctive tendencies is continuous from early youth upward to maturity, there being few or no Early arousal of sex tendencies in the family is necessary for cultural displacements sudden changes, transitions or fresh departures as development proceeds. The work of Freud and his followers has, above all, clearly shown that the sexual tendencies are not narrowly confined to processes intimately connected with the reproduction of the species, but pervade the whole life of the individual, manifesting themselves in a great variety of ways, many of which are very far removed from the reproductive sphere but are of the greatest importance in the increase and maintenance of culture. More especially it has been shown (in a way which we have to some extent already studied) that these tendencies undergo a continuous process of development from childhood upwards, and that on their growth and history depends to a considerable extent the character and social value of the individual.

Such being the nature and conditions of development of this important aspect of the mind, it is evident that something akin to the later affections characteristic of maturity should be found even in the earliest attachments of the child. It is only on the mistaken assumption that the sexual impulse emerges, as it were, fully grown at the time of puberty, that the existence of sexual elements in the loves of an earlier age appears surprising. In reality it is necessary, if the sexual tendencies are to play their important role in the displacements involved in the civilised adult life, that they should ripen early, even though they may not be required for purposes of reproduction for many years to come; and if they are to ripen early, it is only natural that they should be called into play in the child's relations to his parents, who are as a rule by far the most prominent persons of his environment during the first years of his existence. It would seem probable, the human mind being constituted as it is, that unless the large source of energy which is contained in, and habitually manifested through, the sexual tendencies (in the wide sense assigned to them by Freud) were made available in infancy or early childhood, the child would have too little motive at its disposal to make the vast efforts necessary to enable it to pass from the helplessness and ignorance of infancy to the relatively enormous skill and knowledge of adult life, and to acquire the manifold and complex characteristics of an age-long culture. The early awakening of the sexual tendencies in connection with the life of the family thus reveals itself as a natural—and indeed perhaps to some extent an inevitable—condition of any high degree of human civilisation or cultural achievement.

(5) Another factor of great importance in mental and Necessity for the early transition from Autoerotism to object-love moral development, as regards which the early direction of love on to the parents plays an important part, is one to which we have already often had occasion to refer—the development of object love as distinct from the more primitive levels of sexuality manifested in Autoerotism and Narcissism. The full social and ethical implications of this change are not yet completely understood—the whole subject of the Narcissistic trends and their manifestations, normal and abnormal, having only recently been studied by the psycho-analytic method—but it is abundantly clear that these are of very considerable significance. Failure to carry out the change successfully would seem to bring with it almost inevitably certain grave defects of character, involving an exaggerated egoism and a correspondingly deficient altruism; defects which must seriously detract from the social value of the individual, and which when present in large numbers of the population, must imperil the success or even the existence of the social organism. It is essential therefore that the stage of object-love should become firmly established in at least a majority of individuals if society is to prosper, and, as we have seen, the transition from Autoerotism to object-love is under normal human conditions brought about in connection with the child's relations to its parents. How indeed could this transition be more easily and surely achieved than through this relationship—at once the earliest, the most necessary and, in many ways, the most intimate which the individual ever knows? Through the affection which the child feels towards those who supply its elementary needs, it learns the meaning of attachment to an object outside itself—an attachment which, in its further development, leads to the tendency to seek the goal of effort and desire in the outer world rather than in intimate connection with the self, the tendency upon which all altruism is ultimately based. Just as the early awakening of the sexual impulses ensures that these impulses shall have time and opportunity to devote the great motive power at their disposal to the work involved in mental growth and education, so the early arousal of object-love in connection with the parents ensures that these impulses shall take that direction which alone will enable the child to become a useful and a pleasant member of society.

(6) If the incestuous direction of affection thus assists the The Narcissistic love elements are also satisfied by incestuous affection development of object-love, we must not forget that at the same time it is calculated to give a considerable degree of satisfaction to the Narcissistic elements of love. In their most characteristic and pronounced form, these Narcissistic elements will usually manifest themselves in a homosexual direction and therefore not in the typical form of incestuous heterosexual affection with which we are here chiefly concerned. There can be little doubt however that, in a less violent and overwhelming form and as a factor in a total complex situation, the Narcissistic elements do enter very frequently into normal love between members of the opposite sexes. The similarities—physical, mental and circumstantial—that usually exist between those who are of common descent bring it about that a partial identification of the self with the loved object is often easier in the case of a blood relative than with any other person. Hence the influence of this factor will frequently add itself to the other forces which tend to produce an incestuous direction of affection.

The partial identification upon which the operation of this Narcissistic factor in object-love depends, may of course take place at many different psychic levels, from one at which the perception of the resemblance between the loved object and the self may to some extent enter into consciousness, to one at which the identification seems to rest upon some mysterious deep-seated and archaic bond of union, depending possibly upon organic factors or upon the experiences of pre-natal life—such a bond for instance as that which arises perhaps as a result of the close vital connection between mother and child during the period of gestation and lactation[228].

In this way the love of a child to those who are related Thus two opposing tendencies in love find simultaneous gratification to it by ties of blood—and particularly to the parents—is such as to afford a convenient compromise between two sets of conflicting impulses—the impulses that tend to the development of object-love and those more primitive ones that manifest themselves most clearly at the autoerotic and Narcissistic levels. Such a compromise formation is, as we know, peculiarly characteristic of the process of displacement. It is a general law of mental progress in conation that in the new direction of activity that results from a conflict of impulses, there are to be found certain elements that are connected with the satisfaction of both conflicting aims. As a ready means of providing such common elements, the love of parents and of other relatives may therefore in very many cases be supported by the energy derived both from the Narcissistic and the object-seeking components of affection. Hence another potent reason for the widespread occurrence of this form of love.

(7) Another set of factors working towards the production The dependence aspects may also indirectly foster incestuous tendencies and maintenance of the tendencies to incest are those connected with the dependence of the youthful individual on the family, with all that this implies. We have already, in Chapters IV and V studied the manner in which the inertia of habit, the difficulties involved in the growth of individuality, the efforts required for self-governance, self-maintenance and independence and the tendency to regress to an earlier stage of development in the face of obstacles, all combine to produce the retention of, or the return to, a relatively infantile attitude towards the family. We were there chiefly concerned with the aspects of self-preservation and self-expression rather than with the aspects of love or reproduction, but it is evident that the infantile and childish stages of both aspects must be associated with one another, so that a fixation at an early stage of development with regard to one aspect will be likely to bring with it a corresponding fixation as regards the other. Thus, for instance, an undue reluctance to abandon the conception of the mother as the protector and provider of childhood may easily entail a similar failure of growth on the erotic side. In general it would appear that the inertia of the human mind, which so often involves a failure to emancipate the self from the trammels of the early family life, will tend inevitably to produce a corresponding want of adjustment in the love life. This factor of itself would not suffice to bring about the tendency to incest, but, given the existence of this tendency, it might constitute an influence of very considerable power in maintaining the tendency in question, both in the individual and in the race, and might even be a means of producing a reversion to this tendency in cases where it seemed to have been superseded or outgrown.

(8) The sentiment of parent love having been called into existence by the aid of the factors we have already enumerated—directly in the case of 1 and 2, more indirectly in the case of 4, 5 and 6 and still more indirectly perhaps in the case of 3 and 7—all conditions are particularly favourable for its The sentiment of parent-love is powerful in virtue of its early formation continuance and growth. In the first place, it is almost certainly one of the earliest important sentiments to be formed, the only other one which can compare with it in this respect being the self-regarding sentiment. It thus enjoys as compared with most others sentiments all the advantage afforded by priority. What the exact nature of any such advantage may be, it would be hazardous to suggest in detail: we know however that it is a general characteristic of the function and development of mind that dispositions which are formed early in the life of the individual enjoy a greater stability and permanence than those subsequently acquired. Even where, as so often happens, the function of the earlier dispositions is modified or obscured by the results of later experience, the phenomena of "regression" to earlier levels, as manifested in pathology, show clearly enough that the earlier dispositions remain intact throughout life and in many cases seem to be (in themselves and apart from the influence of extraneous factors) paths that offer less resistance to the passage of emotional energy than do those formed at a later period. It may well be then that its priority of formation gives to the sentiment of parent-love a more stable and deep-rooted foundation than that enjoyed by any sentiment subsequently formed.

Further, psycho-analytic study appears to indicate very strongly that it is in the nature of the mind for all the earliest channels of conative energy not only to remain capable of functioning in later life, but actually to continue to function, though often in such a degree or in such a way as to have but little if any direct influence on consciousness or action. Thus it would appear that when a sublimation is formed and emotional energy is directed into a fresh channel, not all the energy passing through the original channel is deflected; some, on the contrary, continues to pass along the original channel. At each fresh sublimation this process is repeated, so that, to use a simile of Freud's, we may compare the development of the Libido to the history of a wandering tribe, which at each fresh migration leaves some of its members behind in the home it is just leaving (the larger the proportion of the population that is left behind—i. e. the greater the fixations—the greater being of course the tendency to regress along the former line of advance when an obstacle is encountered). In such a system of function and development, it is clear that the oldest channels are necessarily, in a sense, the most stable and permanent, the least easy to modify or to destroy.

In this respect then the channels comprising the sentiment of parent-love are comparable to all other early channels of the Libido. Just as the autoerotic trends connected with the oral, anal and urethral regions of the body and the primitive tendencies to sadism, masochism and exhibitionism have been shown to underlie many of the activities of adult life, so (on a higher and more complex level of development) parent-love has been revealed as the foundation upon which rests the greater part of the affection of childhood, adolescence and maturity. From this point of view it would appear that parent-love, in its persistence and influence on later life, exhibits characteristics which are, in greater or less degree, common to all the earliest manifestations of the Libido.

In one important respect however the history of parent Furthermore, numerous influences favour its persistence love differs from the history of many other of these early manifestations. Parent-love not only comes into being at a very early age, but, as regards many of its attributes, it normally persists with but little alteration throughout the whole of the impressionable period from infancy to adolescence. The sensual elements of this love are, it is true, for the most part repressed soon after they appear, but the elements of tenderness and veneration usually remain and build up a sentiment which operates vigorously and continuously for many years, whereas the other sentiments formed during this period (with the exception again of the self-regarding sentiment) are apt to be of a far more temporary and evanescent character. It is true, as we have seen, that as development proceeds the affection felt towards the parents is to some extent displaced on to other persons, but nevertheless, in the normal course of events, a large portion of this affection remains throughout early life fixated on its original object. Moreover as regards this fixation of affection on the parents (provided only no sensual element be too apparent), the individual meets as a rule with every encouragement and sign of approval from those about him, not with the disapprobation or ridicule which he often encounters when his affections are directed elsewhere. The sentiment of parent love has therefore the support of moral sanction in a way enjoyed by few, if any, other sentiments of love that may be formed in early life.

We see therefore that both as regards priority of formation and as regards duration, vigour and continuity of function throughout the all important period of development, parent love normally occupies an almost unique place among the sentiments—a place which renders to some extent intelligible the importance of the role it plays in human life.

(9) Finally, the tendency to incestuous direction of affection, The tendency to incest thus brought about is strengthened by practice and tradition having once been brought into existence, has no doubt been strengthened and consolidated by the actual practice of incest that has pretty certainly occurred on a wide scale among certain races and at certain levels of development[229].

Apart from the actual observation of incestuous practices The occurrence of incest may also be inferred from certain practices and institutions at the present day, the previous occurrence of incest on a wide scale may (as we have already to some extent indicated in earlier chapters) frequently be inferred with some degree of certainty from the nature of practices, customs, observances and institutions which seem to be remnants or vestiges of a one-time general prevalence of incest. We have already referred to the practice of brother-sister marriage among certain lines of monarchs (p. 91), to the customs of the levirate and sororate (p. 93) and of group marriage (p. 90), the droit de seigneur (p. 143) and the licence frequently permitted at certain festivals such as initiation (p. 89).

Evidence for the previous existence of incest is also forthcoming from the measures and prohibitions erected to prevent it. The "avoidances" practised by a large number of savage peoples are very numerous and have reference to all the principal relationships, both those of blood and those acquired by marriage. These "avoidances" are unhesitatingly regarded by most authorities as customs adopted as a precaution against incest.

The most striking institution of this kind is however undoubtedly Especially from Exogamy that of Exogamy. There is as yet no complete consensus of opinion as to the causes that have led to the origin and development of exogamy, but the majority of the eminent investigators who have devoted themselves to the subject agree that the avoidance of incest is the principal factor that has led to the creation of the system. The various stages of exogamic development, as seen in Australia, appear to constitute so many fresh encroachments upon the liberty of incest[230], the later and more complex four class system prohibiting certain unions between relatives that the earlier and simpler two class system has permitted, while the eight class system in turn prevents those that are not excluded under the four class system, though the actual relationships prohibited differ somewhat according to whether descent is traced in the male or female line.

There is a considerable amount of evidence to show that Exogamy was probably preceded by Endogamy exogamy, where now in force, was preceded by a period in which the unions prohibited under its rule were freely indulged in, though the marriage tie was at the same time broader and less binding. Thus of the Central Australians Spencer and Gillen[231] say that tradition "seems to point back to a time when a man always married a woman of his own totem. The reference to men and woman of one totem always living together in groups would appear to be too frequent to admit of any other satisfactory explanation. We never meet in tradition with an instance of a man living with a woman who was not of his own totem." The same conclusion as to the former universal prevalence of endogamy emerges from a study of the actually observed condition of the Australian natives, the rude and uncultivated tribes of the interior being still to some extent endogamic, while there is a gradual increase in the frequency and strictness of exogamy, as we proceed from these to the more advanced communities of the north[232]. Among the Kacharis of Assam we have an example of what is probably the still more primitive process of a compulsory endogamy giving place to freedom to marry outside the totem group, endogamy being here thus not only permitted but enjoined[233]. Other indications of the co-existence of endogamy with a totemic system are found in Madagascar[234] and in N.W. America[235].