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INGERSOLLIA
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INTRODUCTION
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THE ROMANCE OF FARM LIFE
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1. Ingersoll as a Farmer
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2. The Happy Life of the Farm
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3. The Ambitious Farmer's Boy
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4. Never Be Afraid of Work!
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5. Happiness the Object of Life
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6. The Sunset of the Farmer's Life
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7. Farmers, Protect Yourselves!
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8. Roast the Beef, Not the Cook.
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9. Cultivated Farmers.
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10. The Wages of Slovenly Farming.
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11. The Farmer's Happy Winter
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12. The Almighty Dollar
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13. The Farmer in Debt
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14. Own Your Own Home
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15. What to do with the Idlers
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16. Farm-Life Lonely
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17. The Best Farming States
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18. The Laborers, the Kings and Queens
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HOME AND CHILDREN
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19. The Family the Only Heaven in this World
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20. The Far-Seeing Eyes of Children.
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21. Love and Freedom in a Cabin
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22. The Turnpike Road of Happiness
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23. Love Paying Ten Per Cent
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24. A Word to the Cross-Grained
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25. Oh! Daughters and Wives be Beautiful
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26. A Wholesome Word to the Stingy
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27. The Boss of the Family
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28. Be Honor Bright!
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29. The Opera at the Table
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30. A Child's laugh sweeter than Apollo's lyre
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31. Don't Wake the Children
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32. How to Deal with Children
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33. Give a Child a Chance
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34. The Greatest Liars in Michigan
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35. Forgive the Children!
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36. A Solemn Satire on Whipping Children
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37. The Whips and Gods are Gone!
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INDIVIDUALITY
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38. Absolute Independence of the Individual
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39. Saved by Disobedience
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40. Intellectual Tyranny
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41. Say What You Think
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42. I Want to Put Out the Fires of Hell
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43. The Puritans
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44. A Star in the Sky of Despair
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45. Do not Shock the Heathen!
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46. I will Settle with God Myself
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47. I Claim my Right to Guess
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48. The Brain a Castle
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49. I am Something
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50. Every Man a Bight to Think
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51. Too Early to Write a Creed
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52. Every Mind True to Itself
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PROGRESS
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53. The Torch of Progress.
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54. Gold makes a Barren Landscape
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55. A Grand Achievement
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56. The Divorce of Church and State
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57. Professors
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58. Developement
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59. Poet's Dream
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60. The Temple of the Future
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61. The final Goal
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62. The Eighteenth Century
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POLITICAL QUESTIONS
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63. Liberty—Fraternity—Equality!
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64. Liberty!
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65. Ingersoll Not a Politician
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66. Civilization
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67. Cornell University
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68. Church and School Divorced
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69. Laws That Want Repealing
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70. Government Secular
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71. 1876! (1776?)
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72. Candidates Made Hypocrites
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73. The Church and the Throne
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74. The Old Idea
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75. Liberty for Politicians
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76. Tax all Church Property
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77. The Source of Power
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78. The Best Blood of the Old Word come to the New
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79. No State Church
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80. The Enthusiasts of 1776
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81. The Church Must Have no Sword
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82. We are All of Us Kings! I want the power where some one can use
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83. Honesty Tells!
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84. Working for Others.
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85. State Sovereignty
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86. The King of America
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87. Years Without Seeing a Dollar!
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88. The Wail of Dead Nations
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89. What the Republican Party Did
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90. Doings of Democrats
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91. Photograph of a Democrat.
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92. I am a Republican, I Tell You!
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93. Recollect!
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94. Give Every Man a Chance
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95. Who Shall Rule the Country?
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96. The Declaration of Independence
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97. The World Grows Brighter.
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98. The Column of July
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99. A Nation of Rascals
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100. We are a Great People
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101. Mule Equality
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102. Room for Every Wing.
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103. The Republican Platform.
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104. Our Government the best on Earth
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105. Will the Second Century of America be as good as the First?
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SCIENCE
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106. The Glory of Science.
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107. The Tables Turned
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108. Science Better than a Creed
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109. The Religion of Science
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110. Science not Sectarian
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111. The Epitaph of all Religions
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112. The Real Priest
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113. Science is Power
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114. Science Supreme
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115. Science Opening the Gates of Thought
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116. Stars and Grains of Sand
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117. The Trinity of Science
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118. The Old and the New Old ideas perished in the retort of the
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119. The Triumphs of Science
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120. What Science Found!
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121. Science the only Lever
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SLAVERY
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122. The Colonel Short of Words!!!
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123. Slavery in the Name of Religion
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124. The Patrons of Slavery
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125. A Colored Man in Congress
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126. The Zig-zag Strip
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127. Black People have Suffered Enough
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128. The History of Civilization
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129. Does God Uphold Slavery?
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130. Solemn Defiance
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THE WAR
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131. The Soldiers of the Republic
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132. Honor to the Brave!
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133. What Were We Fighting For?
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134. The Revolution Consummated
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135. Fighting Done!—Work Begun!
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136. Manhood worth more than Gold
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137. Grander than Greek or Roman.
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138. Let us Drink to the Living and the Dead
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139. Will the Wounds of the War be Healed?
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140. Saviours of the Nation
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141. General Grant
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MONEY THAT IS MONEY
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142. Paper is not Money
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143. The Debt will be paid
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144. 1873 to 1879!
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145. A Voter because a Man
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146. Keep the Flag in Heaven!
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147. Prosperity and Resumption hand in hand
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148. Every Poor Man should Stand by the Government
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149. We Will Settle Pair!
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150. A Government with a Long Arm
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151. No Repudiation
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152. The Great Crash!
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153. Promises Don't Pay
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154. Solid and Bright!
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155. The South and the Tariff
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156. I am for Protection
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157. The Old Woman of Tewksbury
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158. American Muscle, Coined into Gold
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159. Inflation
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160. Resources of Illinois.
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161. Money!
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162. Money by Work
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163. Meat Twice a Year
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164. America a Glorious Land
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165. How to Spend a Dollar
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166. Honesty is Best always and Everywhere
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167. A Fountain of Greenbacks
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168. What the Greenback says!
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169. Honest Methods
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170. Silver demonetized by Fraud!
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RELIGIOUS QUESTIONS
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171. The Crime of Crimes!
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172. Faith—A Mixture of Insanity and Ignorance
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173. What the Saints Could Cure!
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174. The Sleep of Persecutors
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175. Crime Rampant and God Silent!
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176. How Criminals Die Serenely!
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177. The first Corpse and the first Cathedral
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178. The Sixteenth Century
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179. An Orthodox Gentleman
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180. A Bold Assertion
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181. History a Bloody Farce!
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182. Weak ones Suffering—Heaven deaf
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183. Heaven has no Ear, no Hand
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184. Religion is Tyrannical
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185. Religion and Facts
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186. Religion not the End of Life
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187. Creeds
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188. The Worst Religion in the World
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189. Religion Demanding Miracles
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190. We Want One Fact
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191. The Design Argument
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192. Down, Forever Down
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193. The Back
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194. An Awful Admission
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CHURCHES AND PRIESTS
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195. The Church Forbids Investigation
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196. The Church Charges Falsely
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197. The Church in the "Dark Ages"
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198. The Few Say, "Think!"
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199. The Church and the Tree of Knowledge
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200. The Church Cries, "Believe!"
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201. The Heretics Cried, "Halt!"
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202. The World not so Awful Flat
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203. From Whence Come Wars?
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204. Another Day of Divine Work
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205. The Donkey and the Lion
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206. The Orthodox Christian
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207. Alms-Dish and Sword
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208. The Church the Great Robber
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209. The Church Impotent
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210. Toleration
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211. Shakespeare's Plays v. Sermons
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212. Why Should the Church be Merciful?
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213. The Church and the Infidel.
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214. Back to Chaos
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215. Infinite Impudence of the Church
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216. Wanted!—A New Method
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217. The Kirk of Scotland
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218. The Church Looks Back
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219. Diogenes
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220. The Church and War
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221. The Call to Preach
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222. Burning Servetus
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223. Freedom for the Clergy
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224. The Pulpit Weakening
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225. Origin of the Priesthood
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226. The Clergy on Heaven
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227. The Parson, the Crane and the Fish
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228. Banish Me from Eden—But!
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229. The Pulpit's Cry of Fear
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230. Restive Clergymen
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231. The Parson Factory at Andover
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232. A Charge to Presbyteries
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THE BIBLE
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233. Nature the True Bible
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234. Inspiration
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335. The 109th Psalm!
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236. I Don't Believe the Bible
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237. The Bible the Real Persecutor
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238. Immoralities of the Bible
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239. The Bible Stands in the Way
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240. The Bible False
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241. The Man I Love
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242. Whale, Jonah and All
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243. Damned for Laughing at Samson
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244. The Man, Not the Book, Inspired
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245. The Bible a Chain
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246. Absurd and Foolish Fables
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247. The Bible the Work of Man
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248. Something to Admire, not Laugh at
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249. An Intellectual Deformity
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250. The Bible a Poor Product
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251. The Bible the Battle Ground of Sects
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252. The Bible Childish
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253. Where Moses got the Pentateuch
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254. God's Letter to His Children
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255. Examination a Crime
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256. Read the Bible—and Then!
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257. An Infallible Book Makes Slaves
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258. Can a Sane Man Believe in Inspiration?
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259. An Inspiration Test
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260. The Real Bible
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261. The Bad Passages in the Bible not Inspired
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262. Too much Pictorial
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263. One Plow worth a Million Sermons
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INFIDELS
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264. The Infidels of 1776
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265. The Legitimate Influence of Religion
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266. Infidels the Flowers of the World
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267. The Noblest Sons of, Earth
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268. How Ingersoll became an Infidel
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269. Why Should Infidels Die in Fear?
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270. Infidelity is Liberty
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271. The World in Debt to Infidels
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272. Infidels the Pioneers of Progress
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273. Infidels the Great Discoverers
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274. The Altar of Reason
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GODS AND DEVILS
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275. Every Nation has Created a God
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276. Gods with Back-Hair
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277. Creation the Decomposition of the Infinite
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278. The Gods Are as the People Are
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279. Gods Shouldn't Make Mistakes
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280. Miracles
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281. Plenty of Gods on Hand
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282. The Devil Difficulty
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283. Was the Devil an Idiot?
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284. Industrious Deities
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285. God in Idleness
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286. Fancy a Devil Drowning a World
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287. Some Gods Very Particular About Little Things
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288 The Gods of To-day the Scorn of To-morrow
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289. No Evidence of a God in Nature
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290. Great Variety in Gods
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291. God Grows Smaller
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292. Give the Devil His Due
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293. Casting out Devils
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294. On the Horns of a Dilemma
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295. The Devil and the Swine
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296. How can I assist God?
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297. Can God be Improved?
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298. That Dreadful Apple!
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299. The Devils better than the Gods
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300. Is it Possible?
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301. It is Impossible!
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HEAVEN AND HELL
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302. Hope of a Future Life
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303. I am Immortal
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304. What if Death Does End All?
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305. The Old World Ignorant of Destiny
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306. Where the Doctrine of Hell was born
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307. The Grand Companionships of Hell
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308. Horror of Horrors!
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309. The Drama of Damnation
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310. Annihilation rather than be a God
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311. "All that have Red Hair shall be Damned."
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312. The Conscience of a Hyena
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313. I Leave the Dead
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314. Calvin in Hell!
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GOVERNING GREAT MEN
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315. Jesus Christ
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316. The Emperor Constantine.
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317. Did Franklin and Jefferson Die in Fear?
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318. Angels at Constantino's Dying Bed!
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319. Diderot
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320. Benedict Spinoza
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321. Thomas Paine
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322. The Greatest of all Political Writers
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323. The Writings of Paine
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324. The Last Words of Paine.
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325. Paine Believed in God
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326. The Intellectual Hera
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327. Paine, Franklin, Jefferson
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328. David Hume
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329. Voltaire
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330. John Calvin
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331. Calvin's Five Fetters
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332. Humboldt
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333. Humbolt's Travels
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334. Humboldt's Illustrious Companions
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335. Humboldt the Apostle of Science
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336. Ingersoll Muses by Napoleon's Tomb
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337. Eulogy on J. G. Blaine
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338. A Model Leader
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339. Abraham Lincoln
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340. Swedenborg
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341. Jeremy Bentham
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342. Charles Fourier
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343. Auguste Comte
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344. Herbert Spencer
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345. Robert Collyer
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346. John Milton
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347. Ernst Haeckel
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348. Professor Swing, a Dove amongst Vultures
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349. Queen Victoria and George Eliot
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350. Bough on Rabbi Bien
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351. General Garfield
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352. "Wealthy in Integrity; In Brain a Millionaire."
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353. Garfield a Certificate of the Splendor of the American
Constitution
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354. Dr. W. Hiram Thomas
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MISCELLANEOUS
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355. Heresy and Orthodoxy
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356. The Aristocracy that will Survive.
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357. Truth will Bear the Test
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358. Paring Nails
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359. There may be a God
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360. The People are Beginning to Think
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361. Unchained Thought
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362. Man the Victor of the Future
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363. The Sacred Sabbath
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364. Make the Sabbath Merry
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365. Away to the Hills and the Sea
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366. Melancholy Sundays
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367. Moses took Egyptian Law for his Model
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368. A False Standard of Success
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369. Toilers and Idlers
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370. The Sad Wilderness History
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371. Law Much Older than Sinai
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372. Who is the Blasphemer?
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373. Standing Tip for God
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374. Matter and Force
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375. Haeckel before Moses!
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376. How was it Done?
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377. General Joshua
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378. Early Rising is Barbaric!
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379. Sleep is Medicine!
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380. Never Rise at Four O'Clock
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381. The Hermit is Mad
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382. Duke Orang-Outang
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383. Self-Made Men
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384. The One Window in the Ark
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385. No Ante-Diluvian Camp-Meetings!
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386. Hard Work in the Ark
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387. What did Moses know about the Sun?
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388. Something for Nothing
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389. Polygamy
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390. The Colonel in the Kitchen—How to Cook a Beefsteak
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391. Fresh Air
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392. Cooking a Fine Art
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393. Scathing Impeachment of Intemperance
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394. Liberty Defined
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395. Free, Honest Thought
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396. Ingersoll Prefers Shoemakers to Princes
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397. Sham Dignity
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398. A Good Time Coming!
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399. Who is the True Nobleman?
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400. Wanted!—More Manliness
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401. Education of Nature
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402. The Worker Wearing the Purple
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403. Flowers
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404. Be Happy—Here and Now!
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405. The School House a Fort
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406. We are Getting Free
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407. The Solid Rock
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INGERSOLL'S FIVE GOSPELS
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408. The Gospel of Cheerfulness
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409. The Gospel of Liberty
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410. The Gospel of 'Good Living
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411. The Gospel of Intelligence
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412. The Gospel of Justice
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GEMS FROM THE CONTROVERSIAL GASKET
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413. The Origin of the Controversy
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414. What is Christianity?
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415. Summary of Evangelical Belief
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416. A Profound Change in the World of Thought
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417. The Believer in the Inspiration of the Bible has too Much to
Believe
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418. A Frank Admission
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419. The Bible Should be Better than any other Book
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420. A Serious Charge
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421. If the Bible is Not Verbally Inspired, What Then?
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422. A Hindu Example
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423. A Test Fairly Applied
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424. Suppose!
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425. Proofs of Civilization
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426. A Persian Gospel
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427. Man the Author of all Books
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428. God and Brahma
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429. Matthew, Mark, and Luke
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430. Christianity Takes no Step in Advance
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431. Christianity a Mixture of Good and Evil
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432. Jehovah, Epictetus and Cicero
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433. The Atonement
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434. Sin as a Debt
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435. The Logic of the Coffin
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436. Judas Iscariot
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437. The Standard of Right
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438. What is Conscience?
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439. No Right to Think!
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440. The Liberty of the Bible
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441. Slavery in Heaven
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442. Jehovah Breaking His Own Laws
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443. Who Designed the Designer?
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444. What we Know of the Infinite
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445. The Universe Self-Existent
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446. Jehovah's Promise Broken
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447. Character Bather than Creed
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448. Mohammed the Prophet of God
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449. Wanted!—A Little More Legislation
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450. Is all that Succeeds Inspired?
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451. The Morality in Christianity
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452. Miracle Mongers
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453. The Honor Due to Christ
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454. Christianity has no Monopoly in Morals
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455. Old Age in Superstition's Lap
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456. Ararat in Chicago
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457. How Gods and Devils are Made
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458. The Romance of Figures
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459. God and Zeno
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460. Why was Christ so Silent?
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461. The Philosophy of Action
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462. Infinite Punishment for Finite Crimes.
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463. Whence Came the Gospels?
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464. Mr. Black's Admission
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465. The Stars Upon the Door of France
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A KIND WORD FOR JOHN CHINAMAN
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466. The Select Committee Afraid
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467. The Gods of the Joss-House and Patmos
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468. A Little Too Late
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469. Christianity has a Fair Show in San Francisco
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470. An Arrow from the Quiver of Satire
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471. We Have no Religious System
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472. Congress Nothing to Do with Religion
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473. Concessions of the Illustrious Four!
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474. Do not Trample on John Chinaman
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475. Be Honest with the Chinese
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476. An Honest Merchant the Best Missionary
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477. Good Words from Confucius
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478. The Ancient Chinese
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479. The Chinese and Civil Service Reform
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480. Invading China in the Name of Opium and Christ
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481. Don't be Dishonest in the Name of God
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CONCERNING CREEDS AND THE TYRANNY OF SECTS
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482. Diversity of Opinion Abolished by Henry VIII
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483. Spencer and Darwin Damned
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484. The Dead do Not Persecute
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485. The Atheist a Legal Outcast in Illinois
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486. How the Owls Hoot
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487. The Fate of Theological Students
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488. Trials for Heresy
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489. Presbyterianism Softening
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490. The Methodist "Hoist with his own Petard."
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491. The Precious Doctrine of Total Depravity
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492. Guilty of Heresy
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493. Dishonest Teachers.
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494. Self-Reliance a Deadly Sin!
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495. A Hundred and Fifty Years Ago
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496. The Despotism of Faith
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497. Believe, or Beware
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498. Calvin's Petrified Heart
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499. Logic Unconfined.
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500. Politeness at Athens!
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501. The Tail of a Lion
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502. While the Preachers Talked the People Slept
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503. Christianity no Friend to Progress
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504. Where is the New Eden?
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505. The Real Eden is Beyond
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506. Party Names Belittle Men
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A FEW PLAIN QUESTIONS
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507. Where Did the Serpent Come From?
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508. Must We Believe Fables to be Good and True? Must we, in order to
be
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509. Why Did Not God Kill the Serpent?
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510. Questions About the Ark
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511. Was Language Confounded at Babel.
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512. Would God Kill a Man for Making Ointment?
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513. How Did Water run up Hill?
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514. Would a Real God Uphold Slavery?
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515. Will There Be an Eternal Auto da Fe?
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516. Why Hate an Atheist?
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ORIENT PEARLS AS RANDOM STRUNG
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INGERSOLL'S ORATION AT HIS BROTHER'S GRAVE
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INGERSOLL'S DREAM OF THE WAR
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EPIGRAMS.
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DEFINITIONS.
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BELIEFS.
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