PIPEFULS

By Christopher Morley

Illustrated By Walter Jack Duncan



CONTENTS

PAGE
Preface vii
On Making Friends 3
Thoughts on Cider 10
One-Night Stands 18
The Owl Train 25
Safety Pins 29
Confessions of a “Colyumist” 34
Moving 42
Surf Fishing 48
“Idolatry” 52
The First Commencement Address 60
The Downfall of George Snipe 63
Meditations of a Bookseller 66
If Buying a Meal Were Like Buying a House 71
Adventures in High Finance 74
On Visiting Bookshops 78
A Discovery 83
Silas Orrin Howes 91
Joyce Kilmer 97
Tales of Two Cities 109
I. Philadelphia:
An Early Train
Ridge Avenue
The University and the Urchin
Pine Street
Pershing in Philadelphia
Fall Fever
Two Days Before Christmas
In West Philadelphia
Horace Traubel
II. New York: 163
The Anatomy of Manhattan
Vesey Street
Brooklyn Bridge
Three Hours for Lunch
Passage from Some Memoirs
First Lessons in Clowning
House Hunting
Long Island Revisited
On Being in a Hurry
Confessions of a Human Globule
Notes on a Fifth Avenue Bus
Sunday Morning
Venison Pasty
Grand Avenue, Brooklyn
On Waiting for the Curtain to Go Up 236
Musings of John Mistletoe 240
The World's Most Famous Oration 242
On Laziness 244
Teaching the Prince to Take Notes 249
A City Notebook 253
On Going to Bed 270





SONGS FOR A LITTLE HOUSE

By Christopher Morley



CONTENTS

SONGS FOR A LITTLE HOUSE
BAYBERRY CANDLES
SECRET LAUGHTER
A CHARM FOR OUR NEW FIREPLACE
SIX WEEKS OLD
THE YOUNG MOTHER
PETER PAN
THE 5:42
READING ALOUD
THE MOON-SHEEP
MAR QUONG, CHINESE LAUNDRYMAN
THE MILKMAN
IN HONOUR OF TAFFY TOPAZ
THE CEDAR CHEST
O PRAISE ME NOT THE COUNTRY
ANIMAL CRACKERS
THE WAKEFUL HUSBAND
LIGHT VERSE
FULL MOON
MY WIFE
WASHING THE DISHES
THE FURNACE
THE CHURCH OF UNBENT KNEES
THE NEW ALTMAN BUILDING
THE MADONNA OF THE CURB
MY PIPE
TO A GRANDMOTHER

A HANDFUL OF SONNETS
I
II
PEDOMETER
ARS DURA
O. HENRY—APOTHECARY
FOR THE CENTENARY OF KEATS'S SONNET (1816)
TWO O'CLOCK
THE COMMERCIAL TRAVELLER
THE WEDDED LOVER
TO YOU, REMEMBERING THE PAST
THE LAST SONNET

THE WAR
IRONY
TO A FRENCH BABY
AFTER HEARING GERMAN MUSIC
IN MEMORY OF THE AMERICAN AVIATORS KILLED IN FRANCE
THE FLAGS ON FIFTH AVENUE
"THEY"
BALLAD OF FRENCH RIVERS
PEASANT AND KING
TILL TWISTON WENT
TO RUDYARD KIPLING
TO A U-BOAT
KITCHENER
MARCH 1915
DEAD SHIPS
ENGLAND, JULY 1913 (TO RUPERT BROOKE)
TO THE OXFORD MEN IN THE WAR
FOR THE PRESENT TIME
AMERICA, 1917
ON VIMY RIDGE

HAY FEVER, AND OTHER LITERARY POLLEN
HAY FEVER, IF RUDYARD KIPLING HAD IT
HAY FEVER, IF AMY LOWELL HAD IT
HAY FEVER, IF HILAIRE BELLOC HAD IT
HAY FEVER, IF EDGAR LEE MASTERS HAD IT
HYMN TO THE DAIRYMAIDS ON BEACON STREET
ON FIRST LOOKING INTO A SUBWAY EXCAVATION
BALLAD OF NEW AMSTERDAM
CASUALTY
AT THE WOMEN'S CLUBS
ELEGY WRITTEN IN A COUNTRY COAL-BIN
MOONS WE SAW AT SEVENTEEN
AT THE DOG SHOW
THE OLD SWIMMER
TO ALL MY FRIENDS
A GRUB STREET RECESSIONAL





CHIMNEYSMOKE

By Christopher Morley

CONTENTS

PAGE
TO THE LITTLE HOUSE 19
A GRACE BEFORE WRITING 20
DEDICATION FOR A FIREPLACE 21
TAKING TITLE 22
THE SECRET 25
ONLY A MATTER OF TIME 26
AT THE MERMAID CAFETERIA 28
OUR HOUSE 29
ON NAMING A HOUSE 31
A HALLOWE'EN MEMORY 32
REFUSING YOU IMMORTALITY 35
BAYBERRY CANDLES 36
SECRET LAUGHTER 37
SIX WEEKS OLD 38
A CHARM 41
MY PIPE 42
THE 5:42 44
PETER PAN 48
IN HONOR OF TAFFY TOPAZ 49
THE CEDAR CHEST 50
READING ALOUD 51
ANIMAL CRACKERS 52
THE MILKMAN 55
LIGHT VERSE 56
THE FURNACE 57
WASHING THE DISHES 58
THE CHURCH OF UNBENT KNEES 61
ELEGY WRITTEN IN A COUNTRY COAL-BIN 62
THE OLD SWIMMER 66
THE MOON-SHEEP 70
SMELLS 71
SMELLS (JUNIOR) 72
MAR QUONG, CHINESE LAUNDRYMAN 75
THE FAT LITTLE PURSE 76
THE REFLECTION 80
THE BALLOON PEDDLER 82
LINES FOR AN ECCENTRIC'S BOOK PLATE 86
TO A POST-OFFICE INKWELL 89
THE CRIB 90
THE POET 94
TO A DISCARDED MIRROR 97
TO A CHILD 98
TO A VERY YOUNG GENTLEMAN 100
TO AN OLD-FASHIONED POET 104
BURNING LEAVES IN SPRING 105
BURNING LEAVES, NOVEMBER 106
A VALENTINE GAME 107
FOR A BIRTHDAY 108
KEATS 111
TO H. F. M., A SONNET IN SUNLIGHT 113
QUICKENING 114
AT A WINDOW SILL 115
THE RIVER OF LIGHT 116
OF HER GLORIOUS MADNESS 118
IN AN AUCTION ROOM 119
EPITAPH FOR A POET WHO WROTE NO POETRY 120
SONNET BY A GEOMETER 121
TO A VAUDEVILLE TERRIER 122
TO AN OLD FRIEND 125
TO A BURLESQUE SOUBRETTE 126
THOUGHTS WHILE PACKING A TRUNK 129
STREETS 130
TO THE ONLY BEGETTER 131
PEDOMETER 133
HOSTAGES 134
ARS DURA 137
O. HENRY—APOTHECARY 138
FOR THE CENTENARY OF KEATS'S SONNET 139
TWO O'CLOCK 140
THE COMMERCIAL TRAVELLER 141
THE WEDDED LOVER 142
TO YOU, REMEMBERING THE PAST 143
CHARLES AND MARY 144
TO A GRANDMOTHER 145
DIARISTS 146
THE LAST SONNET 147
THE SAVAGE 148
ST. PAUL'S AND WOOLWORTH 149
ADVICE TO A CITY 150
THE TELEPHONE DIRECTORY 151
GREEN ESCAPE 153
VESPER SONG FOR COMMUTERS 157
THE ICE WAGON 158
AT A MOVIE THEATRE 161
SONNETS IN A LODGING HOUSE 163
THE MAN WITH THE HOE (PRESS) 167
DO YOU EVER FEEL LIKE GOD? 168
RAPID TRANSIT 170
CAUGHT IN THE UNDERTOW 171
TO HIS BROWN-EYED MISTRESS 172
PEACE 173
SONG, IN DEPRECATION OF PULCHRITUDE 175
MOUNTED POLICE 176
TO HIS MISTRESS, DEPLORING THAT HE IS NOT AN ELIZABETHAN GALAXY 179
THE INTRUDER 181
TIT FOR TAT 182
SONG FOR A LITTLE HOUSE 185
THE PLUMPUPPETS 186
DANDY DANDELION 190
THE HIGH CHAIR 192
LOVE AT FIRST SIGHT 193
AUTUMN COLORS 197
THE LAST CRICKET 198
TO LOUISE 199
CHRISTMAS EVE 203
EPITAPH ON THE PROOFREADER OF THE ENCYCLOPEDIA BRITANNICA 204
THE MUSIC BOX 205
TO LUATH 209
THOUGHTS ON REACHING LAND 212
A SYMPOSIUM 214
TO A TELEPHONE OPERATOR WHO HAS A BAD COLD 218
NURSERY RHYMES FOR THE TENDER-HEARTED 219
THE TWINS 227
A PRINTER'S MADRIGAL 228
THE POET ON THE HEARTH 230
O PRAISE ME NOT THE COUNTRY 231
A STONE IN ST. PAUL'S GRAVEYARD 235
THE MADONNA OF THE CURB 236
THE ISLAND 240
SUNDAY NIGHT 242
ENGLAND, JULY, 1913 246
CASUALTY 250
A GRUB STREET RECESSIONAL 251
PRELIMINARY INSTRUCTIONS FOR A FUNERAL SERVICE 253

ILLUSTRATIONS

This hearth was built for thy delight— Frontispiece
And by a friend's bright gift of wine,
I dedicate this house of mine 		23
And of all man's felicities— 33
A little world he feels and sees:
His mother's arms, his mother's knees— 		39
The 5:42 47
And Daddy once said he would like to be me
Having cocoa and animals once more for tea! 		53
But heavy feeding complicates
The task by soiling many plates 		59
How ill avail, on such a frosty night 65
The old swimmer 69
But Katie, the cook, is more splendid than all— 73
Perhaps it's a ragged child crying 79
The Balloon Peddler 85
If you appreciate it more
Than I—why don't return it! 		87
And then one night— 93
The human cadence and the subtle chime
Of little laughters— 		95
What years of youthful ills and pangs and bumps— 103
A Birthday 109
You must be rigid servant of your art! 123
You came, and impudent and deuce-may-care
Danced where the gutter flamed with footlight fire 		127
Hostages 135
My eyes still pine for the comely line
Of an outbound vessel's hull 		155
A man ain't so secretive, never cares
What kind of private papers he leaves lay— 		165
Mounted Police 177
Courtesy 183
The Plumpuppets 189
... It's hard to have to tell
How unresponsive I have found her 		195
... When you see, this Great First Time,
Lit candles on a Christmas Tree! 		201
The music box 207
Solugubrious 217
In the midnight, like yourself,
I explore the pantry shelf! 		221
The Twins 227
O praise me not the country 233
The wail of sickly children— 239
Ah, does the butcher—heartless clown—
Beget that shadow on her brow? 		245