“I have Kempis by me; but have not read him lately. I cannot recollect the passages you mention; but, believing you do him justice, I do positively aver that he is extremely in the wrong in that impious, I was about to say blasphemous, suggestion, that God, by an irreversible decree, has determined any man to be miserable even in this world. His intentions, as Himself, are holy, just, and good; and all the miseries incident to men here or hereafter proceed from themselves. I take Kempis to have been an honest weak man, that had more zeal than knowledge.
“Your brother has brought us a heavy reckoning for you and Charles. God be merciful to us all! Dear Jack, I earnestly beseech Almighty God to bless you. Adieu!
“Susannah Wesley.”
Ten days after the date of his mother’s letter, he wrote to her again, as follows:—
“June 18, 1725.
“You have so well satisfied me as to the tenets of Thomas à Kempis, that I have ventured to trouble you again on a more dubious subject. Dr. Taylor, in his ‘Holy Living and Dying,’ says, ‘Whether God has forgiven us or no, we know not; therefore, be sorrowful for ever having sinned.’ This seems to contradict his own words in the next section, where he says that ‘by the Lord’s supper all the members are united to one another, and to Christ the Head. The Holy Ghost confers on us the graces necessary for, and our souls receive the seed of, an immortal life.’ Now surely these graces are of not so little force as that we cannot perceive whether we have them or not. If we dwell in Christ, and Christ in us (which He will not do unless we are regenerate), certainly we must be sensible of it. If we can never have any certainty of our being in a state of salvation, good reason it is that every moment should be spent, not in joy, but in fear and trembling; and then, undoubtedly, in this life we are of all men the most miserable. God deliver us from such a fearful expectation as this!”[30]
We thus find young Wesley carefully reading Thomas à Kempis and Jeremy Taylor, and groping after two of the great doctrines which afterwards distinguished his ministry: God’s love to all, and the privilege of living in a state of conscious salvation. These and other topics puzzled him, and yet he seemed to have an almost instinctive knowledge of what is truth. We have seen his mother’s sentiments concerning Kempis. His father, on the 14th of July following, observes that though Kempis has gone to an extreme in teaching the doctrine of self-mortification, yet, considering the age in which he wrote, there was no need to be surprised at this. And then he adds: “Making some grains of allowance, he may be read to great advantage. Notwithstanding all his superstition and enthusiasm, it is almost impossible to peruse him seriously, without admiring, and in some measure imitating, his heroic strains of humility and piety and devotion.”
The books of Kempis and Taylor seem to have been the first on practical divinity that Wesley read, and, to the day of his death, were held in high esteem. Kempis’s “Pattern” was one of the first books that Wesley published; and an extract from Taylor’s work forms a part of his “Christian Library.” In his estimation, Taylor was a man of the sublimest piety, and one of the greatest geniuses on earth;[31] and Kempis is always spoken of in terms of high respect. What were the results of Wesley’s reading?
1. To this incident we are indebted for Wesley’s long continued record of the events and exercises of his daily life. In the preface to his first journal, dated September 20, 1740, he states, that about fifteen years ago (1725), in pursuance of an advice given by Bishop Taylor in his “Rules for Holy Living and Dying,” he began to take a more exact account than he had done before of the manner wherein he spent his time, writing down how he had employed every hour. The practice thus begun was uninterruptedly continued until his death, and issued in giving to the world one of the most interesting works in the English language; a work not only containing the best history of the great reformer, and of the rise and growth of the Methodist movement, but sparkling with the most racy remarks respecting men, books, places, science, witches, ghosts, and almost everything with which the writer came in contact.
2. Another, and far more important result of reading Kempis and Taylor, was an entire change of life. He writes respecting Kempis’s “Pattern:” “When I met with it in 1726,[32] the nature and extent of inward religion, the religion of the heart, now appeared to me in a stronger light than ever it had done before. I saw that giving even all my life to God (supposing it possible to do this, and go no further) would profit me nothing, unless I gave my heart, yea, all my heart, to Him. I saw that simplicity of intention, and purity of affection, one design in all we speak and do, and one desire ruling all our tempers, are indeed the wings of the soul, without which she can never ascend to God. I sought after this from that hour.”[33]
Again, in reference to Taylor’s “Holy Living and Dying,” he observes: “In reading several parts of this book, I was exceedingly affected; that part in particular which relates to purity of intention. Instantly I resolved to dedicate all my life to God,—all my thoughts, and words, and actions,—being thoroughly convinced there was no medium; but that every part of my life (not some only) must either be a sacrifice to God, or myself, that is, in effect, the devil.”[34]
Here, then, we have the turning-point in Wesley’s history. It was not until thirteen years after this, that he received the consciousness of being saved through faith in Christ; but from this time, his whole aim was to serve God and his fellowmen, and to get safe to heaven. No man could be more sincere, earnest, devout, diligent, and self-denying; and yet, during this lengthened period, he lived and laboured in a mist.
His father was £350 in debt; but was now resolved to do his utmost to obtain ordination for his son. He urged him to master St. Chrysostom and the articles; and sent his “Letter to a Curate,” in manuscript, to assist him in his preparations; and also wrote to the Bishop of Lincoln in his favour.[35] Meanwhile his mother tried to solve some of his scruples respecting the article on predestination;[36] and wrote him a long letter, not hitherto published, from which we give the following extracts:—
“Wroote, July 21, 1725.
“Dear Jackey,—Though I have a great deal of unpleasant business, am infirm, and but slow of understanding, yet it is a pleasure to me to correspond with you on religious subjects; and, if it be of the least advantage to you, I shall greatly rejoice. I know little or nothing of Dr. Taylor’s ‘Holy Living and Dying,’ having not seen it for above twenty years; but I think it is generally well esteemed. I cannot judge of the rules you suppose impracticable; but I will tell you my thoughts of humility as briefly as I can.”
Here follow her remarks on humility. She continues:—
“He is certainly right, that there is but one true repentance, for repentance is a state not a transient act; and this state begins in a change of the whole mind from evil to good, and contains, in some sense, all the parts of a holy life.[37] Repentance, in Scripture, is said to signify the whole of obedience, as faith often includes repentance, and all the subsequent acts of religion: ‘Repent, and thy sins shall be forgiven thee;’ ‘Believe, and thou shalt be saved.’ If, after this change, we fall into the contrary state—a state of wilful impenitence—which is nothing less than a total apostasy—the Scripture is plain; ‘There remaineth no more sacrifice for sin;’ no place is left for repentance; for, by this formal renunciation of our most holy faith, we ‘crucify afresh the Son of God, and put Him to an open shame.’ But this is not the case of those who never were converted; or of such who, having been converted, fall nevertheless sometimes into their old sins, through the fault of their nature, or the stress of temptation.
“I don’t well understand what he means by saying, ‘Whether God has forgiven us or no, we know not.’ If he intends such a certainty of pardon as cannot possibly admit of the least doubt or scruple, he is infallibly in the right; for such an absolute certainty we can never have till we come to heaven. But if he means no more than that reasonable persuasion of the forgiveness of sins, which a true penitent feels when he reflects on the evidences of his own sincerity, he is certainly in the wrong, for such a firm persuasion is actually enjoyed by man in this life.
“The virtues which we have by the grace of God acquired, are not of so little force as he supposes; for we may surely perceive when we have them in any good degree. But when our love to God, and faith in the Lord Jesus are weak (for there is a great inequality in our lives); when, though we strive against our sins, we have not so far overcome but that we sometimes relapse into them again,—in such a case we shall be often doubtful of our state. But when, by the assistance of the Holy Spirit, we have made a considerable progress in religion, and when habits of virtue are confirmed; when we find little disturbance from any exorbitant appetite, and can maintain an even tenour of life,—we shall be easy, and free from all torment, doubts, or fears of our future happiness; for perfect love will cast out fears.
“I am entirely of your opinion, that whenever we worthily communicate, with faith, humility, etc., our sins are forgiven, and will never rise in judgment against us if we forsake them. The Scripture is so clear and express in this case, that I think none can question the pardon of his sins if he repent, except such as do not believe it.
“But if you would be free from fears and doubts concerning your future happiness, every morning and evening commit your soul to Jesus Christ, in a full faith in His power and will to save you. If you do this seriously and constantly, He will take you under His conduct; He will guide you by His Holy Spirit into the way of truth, and give you strength to walk in it. He will dispose of the events of God’s general providence to your spiritual advantage; and if, to keep you humble and more sensible of your dependence on Him, He permit you to fall into lesser sins, be not discouraged; for He will certainly give you repentance, and safely guide you through all the temptations of this world, and, at the last, receive you to Himself in glory.
“Your father has written lately to you about your business. I heartily wish you success, for I am greatly troubled at your unhappy circumstances. I can do nothing at present but pray for you. Dear Jack, I beseech Almighty God to bless you.
“Susannah Wesley.”
Part of Wesley’s reply to his mother’s letter is as follows:—
“July 29, 1725.
“That we can never be so certain of the pardon of our sins as to be assured they will never rise up against us, I firmly believe. We know that they will infallibly do so if ever we apostatize, and I am not satisfied what evidence there can be of our final perseverance, till we have finished our course. But I am persuaded we may know if we are now in a state of salvation, since that is expressly promised in the Holy Scriptures to our sincere endeavours, and we are, surely, able to judge of our own sincerity.
“What shall I say of predestination? An everlasting purpose of God to deliver some from damnation, does, I suppose, exclude all from that deliverance who are not chosen. And if it was inevitably decreed from eternity that such a determinate part of mankind should be saved, and none beside them, a vast majority of the world were only born to eternal death, without so much as a possibility of avoiding it. How is this consistent with either the Divine justice or mercy? Is it merciful to ordain a creature to everlasting misery? Is it just to punish man for crimes which he could not but commit? That God should be the author of sin and injustice (which must, I think, be the consequence of maintaining this opinion), is a contradiction to the clearest ideas we have of the Divine nature and perfections.”[38]
If the ideas of Wesley and his mother, on the way of attaining salvation, had been as scriptural as his ideas on general redemption, both would have been in a holier and happier frame of mind.
Wesley’s religion already made him the subject of contemptuous sneers. Hence the following from his father:—
“Wroote, August 2, 1725.
“Dear Son,—If you be what you write I shall be happy. As to the gentlemen candidates you mention, does anybody think the devil is dead, or asleep, or that he has no agents left? Surely virtue can bear being laughed at. The Captain and Master endured something more for us before He entered into glory, and unless we track His steps, in vain do we hope to share that glory with Him.
“Nought else but blessing from your loving father,
“Samuel Wesley.”
Wesley was still in doubt in reference to several matters which had occurred to him during his late religious reading; and to relieve his doubts, his mother sent him some of the ablest letters she ever penned. The subjoined is taken from a long epistle now before us, and only part of which has heretofore been published:—
“Wroote, August 18, 1725.
“Dear Jackey,—Divine faith is an assent to whatever God has revealed to us, because He has revealed it. And this is that virtue of faith which is one of the two conditions of our salvation by Jesus Christ. But this matter is so fully and accurately explained by Bishop Pearson (under ‘I Believe’) that I shall say no more of it.
“I have often wondered that men should be so vain as to amuse themselves with searching into the decrees of God, which no human wit can fathom, and do not rather employ their time and powers in working out their salvation. Such studies tend more to confound than to inform the understanding, and young people had better let them alone. But since I find you have some scruples concerning our article, Of Predestination, I will tell you my thoughts of the matter. If they satisfy not, you may desire your father’s direction, who is surely better qualified for a casuist than I.
“The doctrine of predestination, as maintained by the rigid Calvinists, is very shocking, and ought to be abhorred, because it directly charges the most high God with being the author of sin. I think you reason well and justly against it; for it is certainly inconsistent with the justice and goodness of God to lay any man under either a physical or moral necessity of committing sin, and then to punish him for doing it.
“I firmly believe that God, from eternity, has elected some to eternal life; but then I humbly conceive that this election is founded on His foreknowledge, according to Romans viii. 29, 30. Whom, in His eternal prescience, God saw would make a right use of their powers, and accept of offered mercy, He did predestinate and adopt for His children. And that they may be conformed to the image of His only Son, He calls them to Himself, through the preaching of the gospel, and, internally, by His Holy Spirit; which call they obeying, repenting of their sins and believing in the Lord Jesus, He justifies them, absolves them from the guilt of all their sins, and acknowledges them as just and righteous persons, through the merits and mediation of Jesus Christ. And having thus justified, He receives them to glory—to heaven.
“This is the sum of what I believe concerning predestination, which I think is agreeable to the analogy of faith; since it does in nowise derogate from the glory of God’s free grace, nor impair the liberty of man. Nor can it with more reason be supposed that the prescience of God is the cause that so many finally perish, than that one knowing the sun will rise to-morrow is the cause of its rising.”
John Wesley substantially adopted his mother’s predestinarian views, as may be seen in his sermon on the text which she expounds in the foregoing letter; but his notions of that faith by which a sinner is justified were, at present, like those of his mother, vague and general, and far from being clear.
The time for Wesley’s ordination was now approaching, and the money question again rose up like a spectre, and required attention. His father writes:—
“Bawtry, September 1, 1725.
“Dear Son,—I came hither to-day because I cannot be at rest till I make you easier. I could not possibly manufacture any money for you here sooner than next Saturday. On Monday I design to wait on Dr. Morley, and will try to prevail with your brother to return you £8 with interest. I will assist you in the charges for ordination, though I am myself just now struggling for life. This £8 you may depend on the next week, or the week after.
“Your affectionate father,
“Samuel Wesley.”[39]
Difficulties were overcome, and Wesley, having prepared himself with the most conscientious care for the ministerial office, was ordained deacon on Sunday, September 19th, 1725.