| HIRING A HACKNEY COACH. | KEEPING A PRIVATE CARRIAGE. | ||||||||||||||||
| 1. A Hackney Coach, for the business of the moment, to rest your Legs, or shelter you from the Weather, may be had for the ¹⁄₆₉₀₀th part of the Annual Expense of a Private Carriage. Think o’ that, ye Lame and ye Languid! for ye are the Grand Patrons of Ponies, Perches, Whips, and Wheels—Bless your Stars that you are in a Country where, although it costs Three Thousand Four Hundred and Fifty Shillings to keep a Coach for Half a Year, that you can Hire one for Half an Hour, for Twelve Pence! which you may command in all respects as absolutely as if it was your own. | 1. A Private Carriage costs (see Estimate No. IV.) £345 per Annum, i. e. 6900 shillings a Year. | ||||||||||||||||
| 2. A Hackney Coach is almost always to be had in a few Minutes, except in the lamentable instance of a pelting shower. | 2. Your own Horses and Carriage cannot be brought round in less than 25 minutes after you order it: even if it and the Harness are all clean and ready, an active Coachman cannot dress himself and put to in less time,—and Your Own Coachman may be Ill,—or not ready for Action,—Your Horses may be Sick,—or your Carriage may be broken:—moreover, if that prime minister of the machinery of Locomotion has not previous notice that you will want the Wheels to go round, if he is not a marvellously steady Man, it is an even chance, that, making sure you will not require his services, he will imagine he may emigrate from his Hay-Loft with impunity, and be frisking about after his own Affairs. | ||||||||||||||||
| 3. The Hackney-Coachman’s Motto is the same as
Madam Hecate’s,
“Fair is Foul, and Foul is Fair.”
|
3. Gentlemen’s Equipages are generally Fair-weather
Play-things.—If you have your Carriage out
in Wet Weather, and are obliged to keep it waiting in the Rain—if you have a Coachman,
a Coach Horse, or a Carriage, either one of which are Good for any thing—if you are Good
for any thing Yourself, you will not feel quite contented, however comfortably sheltered
by a good Roof, or however agreeably you are surrounded by good Company, whilst they are
exposed to the inclemency of the Sky.
Mem.—A Waiting Job, in cold rainy weather, may cost you not merely a pair of Horses worth a Hundred Pounds! but the Life of an useful Servant into the Bargain!! For One London Coachman or Coach horse that dies from over-work, an Hundred are destroyed by standing still in Cold and Wet Weather. |
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4. Persons who keep a Carriage in London, on an average
seldom go above 8 or 10 Miles per day, or have
their Carriage out more than 3 Hours in the 24:—to hire a Hackney Coach to do such work every day
in the Year, will cost 10s. per Day, or £182. 10s. per Annum. The Expense of keeping
a Carriage, as per Estimate No. IV.
It appears, therefore, that it is more convenient and much Cheaper, even if you employ it as often as you would your own Carriage, to hire a Hackney Coach, than it is to keep a Private Carriage; and if you only hire a Hackney Coach when you really want it, if your Ten-toed machinery is in tolerable condition, instead of your Hackney Coach hire costing you £182. 10s., you may have as much riding as your Business really requires, for £100. a Year: moreover, your Health will be better preserved than if you walked less and rode more; the additional Exercise will ensure the more perfect performance of those interesting “Opera Minora Vitæ,” “Eating, Drinking, and Sleeping!” “Weariness
Can snore upon the Flint, when nesty Sloth
Finds the down pillow hard.”
Shakespeare. If you keep a Carriage, you will often be as much tempted to Ride, merely because you can ride for nothing, as from any actual want you feel of the assistance of the Wheel-work. Walking is the natural and the best Exercise that Man can take; and, however those who walk may occasionally envy those who Ride, the Gentleman in the Coach would often gladly give more than it costs him to keep it, to have the power of using his own Legs.—Dr. Franklin advised a friend to burn his Carriage, that he might get heat out of it at least once in his Life. |
4. In the Estimate (No. IV.)
you have the Service of the Coachman occasionally, when he is not busy with his Horses and Carriage—and
if you keep a sharp lookout that your Carriage is kept in a good state of Repair, you will very rarely
be liable to those Accidents which sometimes happen to the infirm Constitution of a Hackney Coach:
moreover, you will be moved about not merely with more Safety and more Celerity, but with
more Comfort, from knowing that you have a Pilot whom
you may depend upon:—the latter is an extremely important consideration to those whose business calls
them to places which are crowded with Carriages.
When you wish your Mind to be active, and to do its best, it should have nothing before it except the single object under its consideration; and the Body should also be at Ease:—this, and the saving of time in passing from one place to another, are the chief benefits a Carriage affords to Men of Business. Again: it is a Rule with Hackney-coachmen to take the shortest route; the consequence is, that as they naturally desire to perform their task as soon as possible, if they think half a dozen yards are to be saved by it, unless specially directed, they will bring you through all the nasty, narrow, badly ventilated and badly paved Lanes, &c. which they can find, and which, if you understand the value of Fresh Air, you would studiously avoid. These vehicles are often used to convey sick people to Hospitals, especially Coaches: Chariots are more easily ventilated, on account of their Front windows. Never get into a Hackney Coach that has the Windows shut up, if there is one on the Stand of which the Windows are open;—stagnant Air is always Offensive, and often Infectious. |
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