Get an accurate Map of London, on a Scale of not less than 6 Inches to a Mile; set a pair of Compasses (or rather, what I believe are called Dividers, which have a screw that fixes them firmly to any distance at which you wish to keep them separate,) to a Furlong, and with them you may easily measure any distance—allow for Turnings, and keep your reckoning short by at least half a Furlong, that is, 20 Poles, i. e. 330 feet in each Mile: as some Guide to guess this, Houses in London being, on an Average, not more than 20 feet in front, stop within at least 16 houses of what you consider to be the full Mile.

A Map of the Metropolis, laid down from actual measurement on a scale of an Inch to a Furlong, i. e. of 8 Inches to a Mile, is much wanted;—with it and a pair of Compasses, all Hackney Coach Fares might be settled with the utmost ease, and with sufficient exactness, to satisfy All, except litigious triflers, who are more Nice than Wise.

I read the foregoing paragraph to Mr. Cary, the Map-maker, of St. James’s Street, who replied, “I have had thoughts of publishing a Map on the scale you mention; on such a plan, that by merely looking at it, the distances might be determined within Twenty Poles, i. e. within the ¹⁄₁₆th part of a Mile.”

Such a Map would be a very great acquisition, and I hope Mr. C. will meet with encouragement sufficient to induce him to put his design into execution speedily, as it would form a certain standard by which all questions respecting distances might be immediately adjusted, to the satisfaction of both parties.

Let Measure Stones be placed at the ends of our Streets, or at least of the principal Streets, as Mile Stones are on our Roads; or let their length be written under the Names on the Boards which are fixed up at the ends of Streets.

To make an actual Measurement of every Street with a Measuring Wheel, would not cost more than £500.; to affix the Distances under the Names of the Street, not so much: the Expense might in part be defrayed by the Sale of a Map of London, on the scale of one Inch to a Furlong, laid down accurately from such an exact survey, and a Volume like Cary’s Guide for Ascertaining Hackney Coach Fares; of which very curious and useful Work, see a specimen at the end of this Chapter.

Make a list of Fares, North, South, East, and West, from your House, of 1s., 1s. 6d., and 2s., taking care to add thereto the distance from the Stand, or Place whence the Coach is called.

To acquire a general idea of Distances, draw on a Map, of the scale before mentioned, Circles around your House of two Miles, of three Miles, and of four Miles in diameter, the Semi-diameter of which will give the distance from your residence of a Mile, a Mile and a half, and Two Miles, i. e. of Shilling, Eighteen-penny, and Two Shilling Fares.

Hackney Coaches travel, on an average, about 5 miles an hour, seldom more than 6, nor less than 4:—therefore, riding at the rate of 5 miles in an hour, costs about A Penny a Minute; and when you have been carried for 12 minutes, (look at your Watch when you enter the Carriage, and make allowance for stoppages,) you may reckon that you have 12 Pence to pay:—above 24 minutes, the Fares increase in a higher ratio, as above Two Miles is 3s.

The advantage of such Calculation is, if you are set down a few Poles within Two miles, you save, first, Sixpence on the Ground, and secondly, the extra Sixpence to which the Coachman is entitled on exceeding every Two miles; making the difference of a Shilling for perhaps a single Yard.

Before you get into a Hackney Coach, take the Number: it is especially advisable to do so, when you hire a Coach to carry home Ladies, and then do it in such a way, that the Driver may observe that you have taken his Number; and to complete your Care, ask the Coachman what his Fare is, which, if your Gallantry is as great as your Circumspection, you may perhaps do yourself the pleasure of Paying.

If the Coachman conducts himself improperly, or if any thing is left in the Carriage, apply to your friend Mr. Quaife27: by summoning the Coachman to the Hackney Coach Office, at the bottom of Essex Street in the Strand, or to one of the Police Offices, you will most probably recover it.

Avoid any dispute with a Hackney Coachman—pay what he demands, although you know it to be more than his Fare, and seek redress at the Office in Essex Street.

The Driver of a Hackney Coach has the option of charging28 either for the Time he is detained, or for the Distance:—Time is rated at less than half what is charged for Travelling.

When you intend to be charged according to the Time you keep the Coach, in order to prevent any dispute when you discharge it, tell the Coachman the time when he first arrived, making allowance for the minutes that he has been coming from the Stand whence he was called.

The Machine used to measure the distances at the Hackney Coach Office is called “a Perambulator,” or “Surveying Wheel.”—This consists of a Wheel which is 8 Feet 3 Inches, i. e. half a Pole, in circumference; so in two revolutions it measures one pole, or 16½ feet. One revolution of this Wheel turns a single-threaded worm once round; the worm takes into a Wheel of 80 teeth, and turns it once round in 80 revolutions: on the socket of this wheel is fixed an index, which makes one revolution in 40 Poles, or one Furlong; on the axis of this worm is fixed another worm with a single thread, turning about a wheel of 160 teeth, whose socket carries an index that makes one revolution in 80 Furlongs, or 10 Miles: on the dial plate there are three graduated circles; the outermost is divided into 220 parts, or the Yards in a Furlong; the next into 40 parts, the number of Poles in a Furlong; the third into 80 parts, the number of Furlongs in ten Miles, every Mile being distinguished by its proper Roman figure.

The above Apparatus, Mr. Harris, Mathematical Instrument maker, No. 50, High Holborn, makes for £12. 12s.: it may be attached to the wheel of a Carriage, and the Dial will shew the progress made in Travelling, and then is called a Way-wiser.

This Machine may be applied to any kind of Chaise or Carriage, and may be put on and off at pleasure, without any injury to either.

It will accurately register the number of Miles the Vehicle travels over, to any distance. It is fixed so as to be of no possible detriment to the Carriage, and can be ornamented as elegantly as fancy may desire. A Time-piece may be attached to it, by which may be seen the Distance travelled per Hour.

I can think of only One way of infallibly preventing all disputes about Distance, between the Riders in and the Drivers of Hackney Coaches.

To Regulate all the fares by Time, according to the present charge for Time, 2s. for the first hour, and 3s. for every hour after: as the Pace in Travelling seldom exceeds five Miles in an Hour, about double the sum is charged while the Coach is in motion that is charged while it is in waiting. Let after the rate of Five or Six Shillings per hour be paid while the Wheels are going round;—this could be much easier reckoned than the Distance they have gone over, and would put an end to all Disputes on the subject.

To determine exactly between an extremely long Twelve, and an extremely short Eighteen-penny fare, is not a very easy task to the most Experienced: it is, in fact, determining whether you have proceeded 1760 or 1761 Yards!

A friend of mine informs me, that he puzzled himself and the Hackney Coachman too on one occasion, by pulling him up so that the Horses had exceeded the Shilling fare, and the Coach had not. This deserves to be referred to a full bench of Justices. They might, at the same time, decide how it would be, if the Coach had been stopped, so that the two fore Wheels were in the above predicament of the Horses, and the other two in that of the Coach. Perhaps then it would make the difference of 6d. on which side the passengers sat.

Query. Can persons who can afford to ride in a Hackney Coach lay out Sixpence more to their own advantage than in spending it to prevent their being put out of Temper?—If they are going out to Dinner, any disagreeable irritation of the Animal Spirits will destroy their Appetite;—if they are returning Home, it will as inevitably invite an Indigestion. Surely no man who is worth a Shilling, would encounter either of these tremendous evils for the sake of Sixpence! unless the Gentleman (to use the nomenclature of the Hero of a certain popular Drama) be a regular Jarvy-Teaser.

But who grudges these Poor Fellows their full Fare? except a few Washerwomen, Milliners, and Tailors, and Coffin-makers, and Grave-makers, who may like them as little as Link Boys love the Moon, who, for their outrageous antipathy to

are denominated in Mr. Grose’s Classical Dictionary, “Moon-Cursers.”

How many pretty Bonnets and smart Dresses would have been spoiled the first day of wearing, but for a Shilling Fare?—How many Colds caught?—How many Lives lost?—but for these convenient Rests to Weariness and Shelters from Rain; a shower of which sometimes does as much mischief to Man’s person as it does good to his Potatoes, often produces the most dangerous Diseases, and even Death itself!

In a note in the Prolegomena of Malone’s supplement to Johnson and Steevens’s Shakespeare, we have the following account of

THE ORIGIN OF HACKNEY COACHES.

“I cannot (says Mr. Garrard) omit to mention any new thing that comes up amongst us, though never so trivial. Here is one Captain Bailey, he hath been a Sea Captain, but now lives on the land, about this city, where he tries experiments. He hath erected, according to his ability, some four Hackney Coaches, put his men in livery, and appointed them to stand at the Maypole in the Strand; gives them instructions at what rates to carry men into the several parts of the Town, where all day they may be had. Other Hackneymen seeing this, flocked to the same place, and performed their journey at the same rate, so that sometimes there are twenty of them together, which disperse up and down, that they and others are to be had every where, as watermen are to be had by the water-side. Every body is much pleased with it. For whereas, before, coaches could not be had but at great rates; now a man may have one much cheaper.”

This Letter is dated April 1, 1634.—See Gents. Mag. for 1780, p. 375.

The Rules given in the preceding pages will protect the Rider from extortion on the part of the Driver, beyond Sixpence; and for that, is it worth contending? However the furious Economist, and Penny wise and Pound foolish Boys may differ from us, we say again, it is too great a trifle for the Wise to be nice about. A man who has Twelve-pennyworth of Sense will have no Sixpenny Sorrows.

Ecclesiastes, chap. iii. verse 1.

“There is a Time to Save, in order to Spend”—and so is there also “a Time to Spend, in order to Save.”

The Price of Labour is usually in proportion to the degree of Skill or Strength requisite to perform any operation, or to the Disagreeableness of the work, or to the Detriment it occasions to Health:—few situations are more disagreeable, or more destructive to Health, than the exposure at all Hours to extreme Heat in Summer, and intense Cold in Winter, and continual Wet in the Rainy Season:—neither are

THE PROFITS OF A HACKNEY COACHMAN

so large as his hard service seems to indicate that they ought to be—though the Outfit does not cost much. A Coach may be purchased for about £30. or £40.—a Chariot for about £20.—the Horses may be had from £8. to £20. each:—but, as the old saying is,

Bad Horses have as good an appetite as the best: ay, sometimes a better, (if Goodness be measured by Greatness,) in the same way that bad land wants more manure than good. It may be said, that the inferior Provender provided for these poor hard-worked Hacks, is not so dear as that which is purchased for the pampered animal, whose sleek coat is his Master’s pride: but it must be taken into the account, that if their Food be somewhat cheaper, their Stomachs are so constantly stimulated by those strongest excitements to good Appetite, Air and Exercise, that they are ever and aye, “as Hungry as a Hunter,” and eat nearly double what those Horses do who pass their days indolently in an over-heated Stable: indeed, we think that to be “as Hungry as a Hackney Coach Horse” must be a few degrees beyond being as Hungry as a Hunter; or one degree nearer to that state which is considered by the Grand Gourmand as the most enviable in Existence.

It is told of a certain worthy and wealthy Citizen, who has acquired the reputation of being a considerable Consumer of the good things of the Table, and has been “widened at the expense of the Corporation,” that on coming out of a Tavern, after a Turtle Feast, a poor Boy begged Charity of him—“For Mercy’s sake, Sir, I am so very Hungry!” “Hungry!—Hungry!—hey!—what!—complain of being Hungry!—why I never heard the like!—complain of being Hungry!!—Prodigious!!!—why I’d give a Guinea to be Hungry!!!—why, a Hungry Man (with a good Dinner before him) is the Happiest fellow in the world!—There, (giving the Boy Half-a-Crown,) there, I don’t want you to take my word for it: run along, my fine fellow, and make the experiment Yourself.”

It appears, from the following Estimate, that a Hackneyman must every day earn Thirteen Shillings for the maintenance of his Machinery, before he will receive any Profit.

The above Estimate, however considerable it may appear, will not be considered as too high, when it is recollected that the Carriage is in continual use, that the Horses are exposed to all weathers, and are often Over-worked and Under-fed.

Hackney Coachmen get upon the Stands about nine in the Morning, and are often out till past twelve at Night, except those who work double, who take out one Coach and Horses Early in the Morning, bring them home at about six or seven in the Evening, and then take out another pair for Night-work.

It appears from Mr. Jervis’s Journal, which account I believe to be “quite correct,” that the Harvest of a Hackney Coachman, like the Hay-farmer’s, is in the Sultry Summer Months.

We can defend ourselves from Cold and Rain much more easily than we can from the fatigue brought on by walking in Hot Weather.

The Vauxhall season is another source of considerable profit to the proprietors of the Leathern Conveniences.

The least productive Months are February, March, and April: this may be partly accounted for, by the Economy which is so inevitably submitted to during those months, occasioned by People’s pockets being drained by Christmas Bills and Christmas Gambols.

On an average of Forty weeks, it seemed, that the most productive Days are Wednesdays and Thursdays. This may, in some measure, be accounted for, by the greater number of Dinner parties, &c. which are given on those days.

One of the most frequent uses of these accommodating Vehicles, is to carry People out to Dinner. The following hint, every one who is equally a true lover of polite Punctuality and of a Hot Dinner, will think Good Advice.

An Excuse, which is as foolish as it is common, but which a furious Economist seems to fancy is a sufficient plea for spoiling the best Feast, is, “there was not a Coach to be had.” Uncalculating and Improvident! not to send for one till the very last moment. You save nothing by it!—you spoil your Friend’s Dinner! and excite the displeasure of his Guests!!—and all this—to save your dear, dear self, Sixpence!!! (or as I found it in Mr. Jervis’s MS. “a little white farthing.”) As such a Mite would have prevented it, although your Polite host may pretend not to notice your Rudeness, no Apology that you may make can cancel such a confirmed certificate of your Selfish Impertinence; therefore be not so silly as to fancy that it will. Remember the English Proverb, “Hunger and Anger are nearly allied;” and the Scotch saying, that “Hungry people are aye Angry.”