Fit. Hang ’em!
They’re counterfeits; no honest spirit will pity ’em.
This is my crown;[696]
So good men smile, I dread no rascal’s frown.
Away, bestow yourselves secretly o’erhead;
This is the place appointed for the rehearsal,
To practise their behaviours.

First G. We are vanish’d.

[Exeunt two Gentlemen, Pyamont, and Bungler,
who presently station themselves above.
Enter Goldstone, Pursenet, Tailby, Frippery, Primero, and Boy.

Gol. Master Bouser——

Pur. Well said, i’faith; off with your cloaks, gallants; let’s fall roundly to our business.

Tai. Is the boy perfect?

Fit. That’s my credit, sir, I warrant you.

Fri. If our little Mercury should be out, we should scarce be known what we are.

Fit. I have took a course for that, fear it not, sir. Look you, first, here be your shields.

Gol. Ay, where be our shields?

Pur. Which is mine?

Tai. Which is mine, master Bouser? this?

Fit. I pray, be contained[697] a little, gentlemen; they’ll come all time enough to you, I warrant.

Pur. This Frip is grown so violent!

Fit. Yours to begin withal, sir.

Pur. Well said, master Bouser!

Fit. First the[698] device, a fair purse wide open, the mouth downward; the word, Alienis ecce crumenis!

Pur. What’s that, prithee?

Fit. Your bounty pours itself forth to all men.

Pur. And so it does, i’faith; that’s all my fault, bountiful.

Fit. Master Goldstone, here’s yours, sir: three silver dice; the word, Fratremque patremque.

Gol. And what’s that?

Fit. Fortune of my side.

Gol. Well said, little Bouser, i’faith!

Tai. What say you to me, sir?

Fit. For the device, a candle in a corner; the word, Consumptio victus.

Tai. The meaning of that, sir?

Fit. My light is yet in darkness till I enjoy her.

Tai. Right, sir.[699]

Pri. Now mine, sir?

Fit. The device, an unvalued[700] pearl hid in a cave.

Pri. Aha, sirs!

Fit. The word, Occultos vendit honores.

Pri. Very good, I warrant.

Fit. A black man’s a pearl in a fair lady’s eye.

Pri. I said ’twas some such thing.

Fri. My turn must needs come now: am I fitted, master Bouser?

Fit. Trust to me; your device here is a cuckoo sitting on a tree.

Fri. The Welsh leiger;[701] good.

Fit. The word, En avis ex avibus!

Fri. Ay, marry, sir.

Fit. Why do you know what ’tis, sir?

Fri. No, by my troth, not yet, sir.

Fit. O!—I keep one tune, I recant not.

Fri. I’m like the cuckoo in that indeed: where I love I hold.

Fit. Did I not promise you I would fit you?

Gol. They’re all very well done, i’faith, and very scholarlike, though I say’t before thy face, little Bouser; but I would not have thee proud on’t now: come, if this be performed well——

Pur. Who, the boy? he has performed deeper matters than this.

Py. Ay, a pox on him! I think was in my pocket now, and[702] truth were known. [Aside.

Bun. I caught him once in mine. [Aside.

Fit. Suppose the shields are presented, then you begin, boy.

Boy. I, representing Mercury, am a pickpocket, and have his part at my fingers’ ends: Page I am to that great and secret thief, magno illo et secreto latroni——

Fit.[703] There you make your honour, sir.

Boy. At latroni?

Fit.[704] You have it, sir.

Pur.[705] Latroni, that’s mine.

Fit. He confesses the thief’s his.

Pur. Remember, boy, you point latroni to me.

Boy. To you, master.

Fit. Proceed.[706]

Boy.[707] These four are his companions: the one a notable cheater, that will cozen his own father——

Fit. Master Goldstone.

Gol. Let me alone, master Bouser; I can take mine own turn.

Fit. Why——

Gol. Peace.

Boy.[708] The second a notorious lecher, maintained by harlots, cujus virtus consumptio corporis.[709]

Tai. That’s I, master Bouser.

Fit. There you remember your honour, sir.

Boy. Ille leno pretiosissimus, virgineos ob lucrum vendens honores.

Pur.[710] It sounds very well, i’faith.

Boy. Postremus ille, quamvis apparatu splendidus, is no otherwise but a broker; these feathers are not his own, sed avis ex avibus: all which to be nothing but truth will appear by the event.

Fit. I’faith, here’s all now, gentlemen.

Gol. Short and pithy.

Tai. A good boy, i’faith, and a pregnant!

Pur. I dare put trust in the boy, sir.—Forget not, sirrah, at any hand, to point that same latroni to me.

Boy. I warrant you, master.

Gol. Come, gentlemen, the time beckons us away.

Fit. Ay, furnish, gentlemen, furnish.

Pur. Hark, one word, master Bouser: what’s the same latroni? I have a good mind to that word, i’faith.

Fit. Latroni? why, shrieve[711] of the shire.

Pur. I’faith, and I have shriven some shires in my days.

[Exeunt Goldstone, Pursenet, Tailby,
Frippery, Primero, and Boy.
Fit. Now, gentlemen, are you satisfied and pleas’d?
First G. Never more amply.
Fit. Amongst us now falls that desired lot,
For we shall blast five rivals with one plot.
[Exit: and exeunt Gentlemen, &c. above.

SCENE II.

A Hall in Katherine’s House.
Enter Katherine between two ancient Gentlemen.
Kat. Grave gentlemen, in whose approved bosoms
My deceas’d father did repose much faith,
You’re dearly welcome: pray, sit, command music;
See nothing want to beautify this night,
That holds my election in her peaceful arms;
Feasts, music, hymns, those sweet celestial charms.[712]
First G. May you be blest in this election!
Sec. G. That content may meet perfection!
HYMN.
Sound lute, bandora,[713] gittern,
Viol, virginals, and cittern;
Voices spring, and lift aloud
Her name that makes the music proud!
This night perfection
Makes her election.
Follow, follow, follow, follow round,
Look you to that, nay, you to that, nay, you to that:
Anon you will be found, anon you will be found, anon you will be found.

[Cornets sound: enter the Masque,[714] thus ordered: a torch-bearer, a shield-boy, then a masquer, so throughout; then the shield-boys fall at one end, the torch-bearers at the other; the masquers i’ th’ middle: the torch-bearers are the five gentlemen [Fitsgrave, Pyamont, Bungler, and two others]; the shield-boys the whores [three Courtesans, Novice, and Mistress Newcut] in boys’ apparel; the masquers the five gallants [Pursenet, Goldstone, Tailby, Primero, and Frippery]: they bow to her; she rises and shews the like: they dance, but first deliver the shields up; she reads. The speech: their action.

Kat. [reads] Alienis ecce crumenis!
[Pursenet bows to her.
[reads] Fratremque patremque.
[Goldstone bows to her.
[reads] Consumptio victus. [Tailby bows to her.
[reads] Occultos vendit honores.
[Primero bows to her.
A cuckoo: [reads] En avis ex avibus!
[Frippery bows to her.
Are you all as the speech and shields display you?
Gol. We shall prove so.

[They going to dance, each unhasps his weapon from his side, and gives it to the torch-bearers. Katherine seems distrustful, but then Fitsgrave whispers to her and falls back. At the end of which, all making an honour, Frippery presents her with that chain of pearl.

Kat. The very chain of pearl was filch’d from me!
Fit. Hold! stop the boy there!
[Boy seized: Pursenet stamps.
Kat. Will none lay hands on him? [Frippery seized.

Gol. How now?

Fri. Alas, I’m but a broker! ’twas pawned to me in my shop.

[Fitsgrave, Pyamont, and the others discover
themselves.

Tai. Ha, Fitsgrave!

Pur. Pyamont, and the rest!

Gol. Where’s Bouser?

Fit. Here.

Gol. We are all betrayed!

Fit. Betrayed? you’re new forth to betrayed, you have not so much worth: nay, struggle not with the net, you are caught for this world.

First C. Would we were out!

Fit. ’Twas I fram’d your device, do you see? ’twas I:
The whole assembly has took notice of it.
That you are a gallant cheater,
So much the pawning of my cloak contains;
[To Goldstone.
You a base thief, think of Combe Park [to Pursenet]; and tell me[715]
That you’re a hirèd smockster [to Tailby]; here’s her letter,
In which we are certified that you’re[716] a bawd.
[To Primero.

First G. The broker has confessed it. Sec. G. So has the boy. Tai. That boy will be hanged; he stole the chain at first, and has thus long maintained his master’s gallantry.

Fit. All which we here present, like captive slaves,
Waiting that doom which their presumption craves.
Kat. How easily may our suspectless sex
With fair-appearing shadows be deluded!
Dear sir, you have the work so well begun,
That took from you, small glory would be won.
Fit. Since ’tis your pleasure to refer to me
The doom of these, I have provided so,
They shall not altogether lose their cost:
See, I have brought wives for ’em.
[The Courtesans, &c. discover themselves.
Gol. Heart, the strumpets! out, out!
Tai. Having assum’d, out of their impudence,
The shape of shield-boys!
Fri. To heap full confusion!
First C. Rather confine us to strict chastity,
A mere impossible task, than to wed these,
Whom we [do] loathe worse than the foul’st disease.
Gol. O grant ’em their requests!
Fit. The doom is past: so, since your aim was marriage,
Either embrace it in these courtesans,
Or have your base acts and felonious lives
Proclaim’d to the indignation of the law,
Which will provide a public punishment.
As for the boy, and that infectious bawd,
We put forth those to whipping.

Pri. Whipping? you find not that in the statute to whip satin.

Fit. Away with him! [Primero and Boy led off.

Gol. Since all our shifts are discovered, as far as I can see, ’tis our best course to marry ’em; we’ll make them get our livings.

Pur. He says true.

Mis. N. You see how we are threatened: by my troth, wenches, be ruled by me; let’s marry ’em, and[717] it be but to plague ’em; for when we have husbands we are under covert-baron,[718] and may lie with whom we list: I have tried that in my t’other husbands’ days.

All the C. A match.

Fit. I’ll be no more deferr’d: come, when do you join?
Gol. These forc’d marriages do never come to good.
Fit. How can they, when the[y] come to such as you?
Pur. The[y] often prove the ruin of great houses.
Fit.[719] Nor, virgin, do I in this seek to entice
All glory to myself; these gentlemen,
Whom[720] I am bound to love for kind assistance,
Had great affinity in the plot with me.
Kat. To them I give my thanks; myself to thee,
Thrice-worthy Fitsgrave!
Fit. I have all my wishes.
Kat. And I presume there’s none but those can frown,
Whose envies, like the rushes, we tread down.
[Exeunt omnes.