Scene IV

SCENE IV.—The Pirate’s Home.—A large arch in C., with curtains closed. Music.

Enter Birbanto and Yussuf, stealthily, L.

Yussuf. [L.]

 
Say, stranger.

Birb. [R.]Say, stranger.Hush! don’t speak,—don’t breathe—don’t wink!

Yussuf.All slick, old coon, we see’d the critter sink

 
In last night’s storm.

Birb.In last night’s storm.He’s saved tho’, I’ll be bound;

 
Men born for his fate, never can be drowned.

Yussuf.How was it we escaped?

Birb.How was it we escaped?Because, you see,

 
We were not born for drowning more than he.

 
But come, to business! where’s the cash? fork out!

Yussuf.I’d rather have the gal back, first.

Birb.I’d rather have the gal back, first.No doubt.

Yussuf.I’ll liquidate, safe as the bank.

Birb.I’ll liquidate, safe as the bank.Just so;

 
But then banks are not always safe, you know.

 
No trust.

Yussuf. [Gives money.]

 
Well, there. Now, how d’ye mean to fix him?

Birb.A sleeping draught I’ll go at once and mix him,

 
So strong, that if his food in it you steep,

 
You’d even catch a weasel fast asleep.

Yussuf.I see. So then, when he this potion drinking,

 
Goes off like nodding, we go off like winking,

 
And take the gal.

Birb. [Aside.]And take the A rash step, p’raps, I’ve taken;

 
I’d take a rasher, could I save my bacon,

 
And settle him at once, clean out of hand,

 
But that I fear the vengeance of the band.

 
No matter, time will come. Hah! hah!

Yussuf.No matter, time will come. Hah! hah!I say.

Birb.I beg your pardon. Come—away! away!
[Exit melo-dramatically, followed by Yussuf, R.

Music.—The curtains in the arch, C., are raised, and discover Conrad reclining on a couch of tiger skins, smoking a chibouque, Medora seated at his feet.

Conrad.And so your uncle sold you into slavery?

 
The monster!

Medora.The monster!Had it not been for your bravery—

Conrad.There, that’s enough; these fervent thanks withhold.

Medora.Say, are you sure you haven’t caught a cold,

 
Last night when struggling with the waves so cruel?

 
Do let me make you just one drop of gruel.
[Rises.

Conrad.A pirate taking gruel! doubtless you

 
Would like my feet put in hot water, too?

Medora.I should, ’twould do you good.

Conrad.I should, ’twould do you good.And I suppose

 
You’d further counsel tallowing my nose?

Medora.’Twould be as well. Nay, come, from laughing cease;

 
Were you a patriot, you’d stick up for grease.

Conrad.Her care for me is really charming! Come,

 
Sit down, Medora—make yourself at home.

Medora.Nay, I’m your slave.

Conrad. [Aside.]Nay, I’m your slave.My love for her gets stronger.

Medora.Your waiting maid.

Conrad.Your waiting maid.Nay, you shall wait no longer.
[He rises; she dances away coquettishly, he following—

 
Conrad sings to music of dance.

Air.—“The Fan Dance.” (Spanish.)
 
Sweetest, your charms have restored me,

 
All once bored me—ennui floored me.

 
Oh, my heart now you’ve fill’d with gladness,

 
Away have you chased its sadness!

Medora, oh! don’t say me no.
 
Say you’ll be mine—then pray do, love!

 
For ’tis you, love, are my true love;

 
Oh! don’t turn away your face, dear,

 
But do grant me one embrace, dear,

You will not refuse me, I know.
 
Come, sweet Medora—say that you’ll be mine!

Birbanto crawls on from R.

Birb.Now, how to do it—hah, the wine! the wine!
[Pours liquid from vial into Conrad’s

 
glass, and exit at back. Medora sinks

 
into Conrad’s arms; he kisses her.

Conrad.No more a slave—this liberty affords you;

 
Your lover, not your master, looks towards you.
[Drinks—chord.

 
How’s this? a sudden drowsiness, methinks;

 
Would you excuse me just for forty winks?
[Sleeps.

Medora.Sleep—I’ll hold watch, so shall no harm befall him.

 
Holding the watch, I shall know when to call him.

Soft music.—Enter Yussuf and Birbanto, stealthily, R.

Birb.There lies the man of mystery, dark and deep,

 
So slow when waking—yet how fast asleep!

 
Now is your time—quick to your task allotted.
[Gives him scarf.

Yussuf.Slick as greased light’ning.
[Throws scarf over Medora’s head.

Birb.Slick as greased light’ning.Cleverly garrotted.

Medora. [Struggling:]

 
Help! Murder!

Birb.Help! Murder!Silence her—choke—muzzle—gag her.

 
Or, stay—let me assist you with a dagger.

Yussuf.No. No.

Medora.No. No.Help! Conrad!

Yussuf.No. No.Help! Conrad!Silence—come along!
[Drags her out, R.

Medora.Help!

Birb. [Calling after him.]

 
Get a pitch-plaster and pitch it strong.

Enter Corsairs, L.

1st Cors.What noise was that? A cry for help we heard—

Birb. [Aside.]

 
So just in time—[aloud]—a cry—pooh! pooh! absurd!

2d Cors.I’m sure I heard a voice for aid imploring—

Birb.Pshaw! you’re mistaken—’twas our captain snoring.

1st Cors. [Seeing Conrad.]

 
Conrad asleep!

Birb.Conrad asleep!Yes, that’s a pretty way

 
For a great pirate chief to pass the day!

 
Hear me, my friends—our captain is a do.

1st Cors.How?

Birb.How?Not the leader for brave men like you.

1st Cors.Nay, have a care how Conrad you abuse—

Birb.A spooney humbug—always in the blues—

 
Pining and sighing—

2d Cors.Pining and sighing—Well, that’s true enough—

 
He is too sentimental.

Birb.He is too sentimental.He’s a muff!

 
Not fit to be our leader.

1st Cors.Not fit to be our leader.P’raps you’re right.

Birb.Didn’t he leave us all on shore, last night,

 
To get home as we could?

2d Cors.To get home as we could?That was a fault.

Birb.Let’s give him pepper—he’s not worth his salt.

Corsairs.We will—we will.

Birb.We will—we will.Said like brave men and true!

 
You mean, though, what you say?

Corsairs.You mean, though, what you say?We do—we do.

Birb.One blow and we are free—we then can take

 
Another leader—come—

[Music.—They approach Conrad, with daggers raised. The Scene opens and Serena appears behind.

Serena.Another leader—come—Wake, Conrad, wake.

Conrad. [Starts up.]

 
Methought I heard a voice cry, sleep no more—
[Sees Corsairs.

 
Halloa! [They slink away.] Here, stop! don’t go. Ho! guard the door.

 
This looks like a rebellion, eh, my men?
[Corsairs kneel.

1st Cors. [L.]

 
Pardon us, mighty Conrad.

Birb. [Aside, R.]Pardon us, mighty Conrad.Sold again!

2d Cors.It was Birbanto, here, that drove us to it.

Birb.Pardon, great chief, I didn’t go to do it.

Conrad.Kneel, traitor!

Birb. [Kneeling.]Kneel, traitor!Can you, then, forgive?

Conrad.Kneel, traitor!Can you, then, forgive?Ne’er doubt it.
[Throws money amongst them.

 
Go drink my health, and say no more about it.

All.Long live great Conrad. Hip! hip! hip! hurrah!
[Exeunt Corsairs, L.

Birb. [Aside.]

 
Defeated, foiled—no matter—hah! hah! hah!
[Exit Birbanto, L.

Serena. [Advances R.]

 
Bravely done, Conrad, this great generosity.

Conrad.Beg pardon! you’ll excuse my curiosity—

 
But whom have I the honor to address?

Serena. [R.]

 
I am a fairy.

Conrad.I am a fairy.You then saved me?

Serena. [C.]I am a fairy.You then saved me?Yes.

Conrad.Speak! where’s my love—my Venus—my Medora?

Serena.Your Venus! nay, prepare to meet a floorer!

 
She’s gone!

Conrad.She’s gone!Gone?

Serena.She’s gone!Gone?Nay, don’t start; yet p’raps you’d better,

 
And start at once, if back you hope to get her.

Conrad.Tell me, where shall I seek my priceless treasure?

Serena.Promise me one thing first.

Conrad.Promise me one thing first.I do with pleasure.

 
What is it?

Serena.What is it?That when you’ve regained this maid,

 
You will retire from the Corsair trade;

 
Marry, and live respectably.

Conrad.Marry, and live respectably.Agreed!

 
I’ve long been weary of the life I lead—

 
So I’ll reform.

Serena.So I’ll reform.This is indeed felicity!

Conrad.Turn steady, and go in for domesticity:

 
Stand for churchwarden, and the vestry sit on;

 
Aye, and pay rates and taxes like a Briton.

Duet.—Air, “Home, sweet Home.”
Serena.All pleasures are fallacies for those who roam;

 
Howe’er folks may grumble, there’s no place like home.

Conrad.Tho’ duns may come daily—tho’ poor’s rates may call—

 
Give me them and the butcher’s bill dearer than all.

Serena.Home, home, sweet home,

 
There’s no place like home;

 
Whoever deny it, there’s no place like home.

Conrad.Home, home, sweet home,

 
A slow place is home;

 
However, I’ll try it, and go in for home.

}

[Together.]

Both.Farewell! Farewell!
[Serena sinks, R. C.

Song.—Conrad.—Air, “My Mary Ann.”
 
Fare you well, my own Mary Ann,

 
Or whatever your name may be;

 
These fairies seldom give their names,

 
And so I christen she, “Mary Ann.”

 
Let me once more see my own turtle-dove,

 
I’ll keep my word with you;

 
Excuse me if I’ve named you wrong,

 
And still assist me, do, Mary Ann.

Fare you well, my own Mary Ann, &c.
[Exit, R.