Mother, have you seen Di anywhere?

I ain’t done nothing but see her.

Forevermore. That Larkin boy again. Di! Diana Deacon! Come here at once.

Yes, mama.

Want me?

I want you to stop making a spectacle of me before the neighborhood.

Of you!

Certainly. What will people think of me if they see you talking with Robert Larkin the whole afternoon?

We weren’t thinking about you, mummy.

No. You never do think about me. Nobody thinks about me. And mama does try so hard—

Oh, mama, I’ve heard you say that fifty hundred times.

And what impression does it make? None…. Nobody listens to me. Nobody.

All right to bring him in here?

Oh, Mr. Cornish! how very nice to see you.

Good afternoon, Mrs. Deacon. How are you, Miss Di?

I’ve just been asking Mr. Cornish if he won’t join us to-night for dinner and the show.

Oh, Mr. Cornish, do—we’d be so glad.

Why, why, if that wouldn’t be—

You’re invited, Di, you know.

Me? Oh, how heavenly! Oh, but I’ve an engagement with Bobby—

But I’m sure you’d break that to go with Uncle Ninian and Mr. Cornish.

Well, I’d break it to go to the theater—

Why, Di Deacon!

Oh, of course to go with Uncle Ninian and Mr. Cornish.

This is awfully good of you. I dropped in because I got so lonesome I didn’t know what else to do—that is, I mean….

We get it. We get it.

We’d love to see you any time, Mr. Cornish. Now if you’ll excuse Di and me one minute.

Uncle Ninian, you’re a lamb.

I’m just about the same as I was.

What—er—oh, Mrs. Bett, I didn’t see you.

I don’t complain. But it wouldn’t turn my head if some of you spoke to me once in a while. Say—can you tell me what these folks are up to?

Up to … up to?

Yes. They’re all stepping round here, up to something. I don’t know what.

Why, Mrs. Bett, we’re going to the city to the theater, you know.

Well, why didn’t you say so?

Ha! Everybody ready? Well, well, well, well. How are you, Cornish? You going too, Ina says.

Yes, I thought I might as well. I mean—

That’s right, that’s right. Mama Bett. Look here!

What’s that?

Ice cream—it’s ice cream. Who is it sits home and has ice cream put in her lap like a ku-ween?

Vanilly or chocolate?

Chocolate, Mama Bett.

Vanilly sets better…. I’ll put it in the ice chest—I may eat it.

Where’s the lovely Lulu?

She’ll be here directly.

Now what I want to know, Nin, is how you’ve hypnotized the lovely Lulu into this thing.

Into going? Dwight, I’ll tell you about that. I asked her to go with us. Do you get it? I invited the woman.

Ah, but with a way—with a way. She’s never been anywhere like this with us…. Well, Nin, how does it seem to see me settled down into a respectable married citizen in my own town—eh?

Oh—you seem just like yourself.

Yes, yes. I don’t change much. Don’t feel a day older than I ever did.

And you don’t act it.

Eh, you wouldn’t think it to look at us, but our aunt had her hands pretty full bringing us up. Nin, we must certainly run up state and see Aunt Mollie while you’re here. She isn’t very well.

I don’t know whether I’ll have time or not.

Nin, I love that woman. She’s an angel. When I think of her I feel—I give you my word—I feel like somebody else.

Nice old lady.

Who’s a nice old lady?

You, Mama Bett! Who else but you—eh? Well, now, Nin, what about you. You’ve been saying mighty little about yourself. What’s been happening to you, anyway?—

That’s the question.

Traveling mostly—eh?

Yes, traveling mostly.

I thought Ina and I might get over to the other side this year, but I guess not—I guess not.

Pity not to have went while the going was good.

What’s that, Mama Bett?

Ah, the lovely Lulu. She comes, she comes! My word what a costoom. And a coiffure.

Thank you. How do you do, Mr. Cornish?

How do you do, Miss Lulu? You see they’re taking me along too.

That’s nice. But, Mr. Deacon, I’m afraid I can’t go after all. I haven’t any gloves.

No backing out now.

Can’t you wear some old gloves of Ina’s?

No, no. Ina’s gloves are too fat for me—I mean too—mother, how does this hat look?

You’d ought to know how it looks, Lulie. You’ve had it on your head for ten years, hand-running.

And I haven’t any theater cape. I couldn’t go with my jacket and no gloves, could I?

Now why need a charmer like you care about clothes!

I wouldn’t want you gentlemen to be ashamed of me.

Why, Miss Lulu, you look real neat.

Act as good as you look, Lulie. You mind me and go on.

Ha! All ready with our hat on! For a wonder, all ready with our hat on.

That isn’t really necessary, Dwight.

Ina, I wondered—I thought about your linen duster. Would it hurt if I wore that?

The new one?

Oh no, no. The old one.

Why take it, Lulu, yes, certainly. Get it, Dwightie, there in the hall.

Miss Lulu, with all the solid virtues you’ve got, you don’t need to think for a moment of how you look.

Now you’re remembering the meat pie again, aren’t you?

Now! The festive opera cloak. Allow me! My word, what a picture! Lulu the charmer dressed for her deboo into society, eh?

Dwight, shut your head. I want you to understand this is Miss Lulu Bett’s party—and if she says to leave you home, we’ll do it.

Ah, ha! An understanding between these two.

Well, Miss Lulu, I think you’re just fine anyway.

Oh, thank you. Thank you….

All ready, darling?

All ready—and so excited! Isn’t it exciting, Mr. Cornish?

Bless me if the whole family isn’t assembled. Now isn’t this pleasant! Ten—let me see—twelve minutes before we need set out. Then the city and dinner—not just Lulu’s cooking, but dinner! By a chef.

That’s sheff, Dwightie. Not cheff.

Little crusty to-night. Pettie, your hat’s just a little mite—no, over the other way.

Was there anything to prevent your speaking of that before?

Ina, that hat’s ever so much prettier than the old one.

I never saw anything the matter with the old one.

She’ll be all right when we get started—out among the bright lights. Adventure—adventure is what the woman wants. I’m too tame for her.

Idiot.

I s’pose you all think I like being left sitting here stark alone?

Why, Mrs. Bett—

Why, mama—

Oh, mother, I’ll stay with you.

Oh, look here, if she really minds staying alone I’ll stay with her.

Where you going anyway?

The theater, mama.

First I’ve heard of it.

You’ll have Monona with you, mama.

Where you going?

The city, dear.

Now quiet, pettie, quiet—

You’ve all got to bring me something. And I’m going to sit up and eat it, too.

Come here, you poor, neglected child.

What’s Lulu the charmer so still for, eh?

I was thinking how nice it is to be going off with you all like this.

Such a moment advertises to the single the joys of family life as Ina and I live it.

It’s curious that you’ve never married, Ninian.

Don’t say it like that. Maybe I have. Or maybe I will.

She wants everybody to marry but she wishes she hadn’t.

Do you have to be so foolish?

Hi—better get started before she makes a scene. It’s too early yet, though. Well—Lulu, you dance on the table.

Why, Dwight?