WE retired from her room, but I noticed that two of the Court ladies did not come out with us. One of them said to me: "I am glad that I can rest a bit to-day, for I have been sitting three afternoons in succession." At first I did not know what she meant. Then she said: "Oh, your turn has not come yet. We don't know whether you received the order or not. You know two of us must stay with Her Majesty during her afternoon siesta, to watch the eunuchs and the servant girls." I thought that was the funniest thing I had ever heard of, and wondered how many people would be in her room. The Young Empress said: "We had better go at once and rest ourselves, otherwise Her Majesty will be up again before we get the chance." Of course I had not the least idea how long she slept. So we went back to our rooms. I did not realize how tired I was until I sat down in my room. I felt finished and awfully sleepy at the same time, for I was not used to getting up at 5 o'clock. Everything was so new to me. As I sat there my thoughts wandered to Paris, and I thought how strange it was that I used to go to bed at 5 o'clock after the dances, and here I had to get up at such a time. All the surroundings seemed new to me, seeing the eunuchs running here and there waiting on us, as if they were chambermaids. I told them that I didn't need them any more. I wanted them to go out of the room so that I could lie down a bit. They brought us tea and different kinds of candies, and asked what else was wanted. I was just going to change into a comfortable dress, when the eunuch came in and informed me that "Yo ker lila" (visitors have come), and two Court ladies came, and another girl of about seventeen came in. I had seen her that very morning when I came to the Palace, busy working, but I was not introduced to her. These two girls said: "We have come to see you and also to find out if you are comfortable." I thought they were kind to come and see me that way, but I did not like their faces. They introduced this mean-looking girl to me and told me her name was Chun Shou (Graceful Long Life). She did not look as if her life would last long, being so thin and delicate. She looked sick and worn out to me. I did not know who she was. She courtesied to me and I returned to her, in a sort of half way. (I will explain about the courtesy.)
(To Her Majesty, the Emperor and the Young Empress, we went down and bent our knees, while we stood upright to the people of lower rank than ourselves. In this case one must always wait while the inferior courtesies first, and bend the knees a little bit in return. This was the way I returned Chun Shou's courtesy to me.) The two girls then said "Chun Shou's father is only a small official, so she has not much standing at the Court. She is not exactly a Court lady, but she is not a servant girl either." I almost laughed right out, to hear such a funny statement, and wondered what she must be. I saw her sitting down with the Court ladies that very morning, so of course I asked her to sit down, too. These two Court ladies asked me if I felt tired, and how I liked the Empress Dowager. I told them that Her Majesty was the most lovely lady I had ever seen, and that I already loved her very much, although I had only been there a few days. They looked at Chun Shou and exchanged smiles. They did that in such a peculiar way that it annoyed me. They asked: "Do you think you would like to live in this place, and how long do you intend to stay?" I said I would love to stay long, and would do my best to wait on Her Majesty, and be useful to her, for she had been so kind towards us in the short time we had been there, and besides, it was my duty to serve my sovereign and country. They laughed and said: "We pity you, and are sorry for you. You must not expect any appreciation here, no matter how hard you work. If you are really going to do as you have said just now, you will be disliked by everybody."
I did not know what they were talking about, or what their conversation referred to. I thought this was so strange that I had better put a stop to it, so I immediately changed the subject. I asked them who dressed their hair, and who made their shoes for them, as they had asked me. They answered my questions by saying that their maids did everything for them. Chun Shou said to these two girls: "Tell her everything about this Palace, and I am sure she will change her mind when she actually sees things for herself." I didn't like this Chun Shou, and her face didn't impress me. She was a little bit of a thing, tiny head with thin lips. When she laughed one could only hear the noise she made; no expression was on her face at all. I was just going to say something to them, so as not to give them the opportunity of gossiping, but found they were too cunning. They noticed that I tried every way to stop them, so they said: "Now let us tell you everything. No one else will know. We like you very much and we want to give you some warning, so as to be able to protect yourself whenever you are in trouble." I told them that I would take great care to do my work and didn't think that I would ever get into trouble. They laughed and said: "That makes no difference. Her Majesty will find fault." I could not believe these things that they said, and intended to tell them that I refused to hear such statements, but I thought I had better listen to what they had to say first and not to offend them, for I never believed in making enemies. I then told them that it would be impossible for so sweet and kind-hearted a person like Lao Tsu Tsung (the old ancestor) to find fault with such helpless girls as we were, for we were her people, and she could do anything she liked with us. They said: "You don't know, and have no idea how wicked this place is; such torture and suffering one could not imagine. We are sure that you think you must be happy to be with the great Empress Dowager, and proud to be her Court Lady. Your day hasn't come yet, for you all are new to her. Yes, she is extremely kind to you just now, but wait until she gets tired of you and then see what she will do. We have had enough, and know what the Court life is. Of course you must have heard that Li Lien Ying (the head eunuch) rules this Palace behind Lao Tsu Tsung's back. We are all afraid of him. He pretends that he cannot influence Lao Tsu Tsung, but we always know the result after a long conversation consulting how to punish anyone. If any of us do anything wrong, we always go to him and beg him to help us out. Then he says he has no power to influence Her Majesty, and also that he dare not tell her much, for she would scold him. We hate all the eunuchs, they are such bad people. We can see very plainly they are awfully polite to you because they can see that you are in favor. To receive such rudeness from them, constantly, as we do, is unbearable.
"Lao Tsu Tsung is very changeable. She may like one person to-day, to-morrow she hates this same person worse than poison. She has moods, and has no appreciation whatsoever. Even Chu Tzu, the Young Empress (Chu Tzu means Mistress, that is to say she was mistress of us all, for the Manchus were considered by the sovereign as slaves) is afraid of Li Lien Ying, and has to be very nice to him. In fact, we all have to be polite to him." They talked so long that I thought they would never finish. About this time Wang came in and brought tea for us. Suddenly I heard people howling in the distance, so I asked Wang what was the matter. The girls were listening also and a eunuch came flying in and told us Lao Fo Yeh chin la (The Great Buddha wakes up). The girls got up and said we must all go to see her, so they went. I was not at all pleased with their visit, and wished they hadn't come, especially as they told me such horrible things. It made me quite sad to listen to the awful way they talked about Her Majesty. I loved her the first day I was there, and made up my mind to forget everything they had told me.
I was cross also because I didn't have time to change my clothes, and had to go up to Her Majesty at once. I went into her bedroom, and found her sitting upon the bed cross-legged, with a small table placed on the bed in front of her. She smiled and asked: "Have you had a good rest? Did you sleep at all?" I said that I was not sleepy, and could not sleep in the daytime. She said: "When you are old like me, you will be able to sleep at any time. Just now you are young, and fond of play. I think you must have been on the hills to gather flowers, or walked too much, for you look tired." I could only say "Yes." The two Court ladies who had just been talking nonsense about Her Majesty came in, to assist in handing her the toilet articles. I looked at them, and felt ashamed for them to face her, after having said so many disagreeable things. Her Majesty washed her face and combed her hair, and a servant girl brought her fresh flowers, of white jasmine and roses. Her Majesty stuck them in her hair and said to me: "I am always fond of fresh flowers—better than jade and pearls. I love to see the little plants grow, and I water them myself. I have been so busy ever since you came that I haven't been able to visit my plants. Tell them to get the dinner ready and I will take a walk afterwards." I came out of her room and gave the eunuch the order. As usual we brought little dainties to her. By this time Her Majesty was dressed and was sitting in the large hall, playing solitaire with her dominoes. The eunuch laid the tables as usual, and Her Majesty stopped play, and commenced to eat. She asked me: "How do you like this kind of life?" I told her that I very much enjoyed being with her. She said: "What kind of a place is this wonderful Paris I have heard so much about? Did you enjoy yourself while you were there, and do you wish to go back again? It must be hard for you people to leave China for three or four years, and I suppose you were all pleased when you received the order to come back, after your father's term was finished."
The only thing I could say was "Yes," because it wouldn't be nice to tell her that I was awfully sorry to leave Paris. She said: "I think we have everything in China, only the life is different. What is dancing? Someone told me that two people hold hands and jump all over the room. If that is the case I don't see any pleasure in it at all. Do you have to jump up and down with men? They told me that old women, with white hair, dance, too." I explained to her about the balls given by the President, and all the private dances, and also all about the masquerade balls, etc. Her Majesty said: "I don't like this masquerade ball because you don't know whom you are dancing with if they are wearing a mask." I explained to her how carefully the people issued their invitations, and that anyone who behaved badly could never enter into high society. Her Majesty said: "I would like to see how you jump, can you show me a little?" I went in search of my sister, and found her busy talking to the Young Empress. I told her that Her Majesty wished to see how people dance, and that we must show her. The Young Empress and all the Court ladies heard this, and all said that they also wished to see. My sister said that she had noticed a large gramophone in Her Majesty's bedroom, and that perhaps we could find some music. I thought that was a good idea, and went to ask her for the gramophone. She said: "Oh, must you jump with music?" I almost laughed when she said that, and told her it was much nicer with music, as otherwise one could not keep in time. She ordered the eunuchs to have the gramophone brought to the hall, and said: "You jump while I take my dinner." We looked over a lot of records, but they were all Chinese songs, but at last we found a waltz, so we started to dance. We could see that a lot of people were looking at us, who perhaps thought that we were crazy. When we had finished we found Her Majesty laughing at us. She said: "I could never do that. Are you not dizzy turning round and round? I suppose your legs must be very tired also. It is very pretty, and just like the girls used to do centuries ago in China. I know that it is difficult and one ought to have any amount of grace to do it, but I don't think it would look nice to see a man dancing with a girl like that. I object to the hand around the girl's waist; I like to see the girls dance together. It would never do for China for a girl to get too close to a man. I know the foreigners don't seem to think about that at all. It shows that they are broader minded than us. Is it true that the foreigners don't respect their parents at all-that they could beat their parents and drive them out of the house?" I told her that it was not so, and that someone had given her wrong ideas about foreigners. Then she said: "I know that perhaps sometimes one among the commonest class do that, and that people are apt to take it wrong, and conclude that all foreigners treat their parents that way. Now I see just the same thing done by the common people in China." I wondered who had told her such nonsense and made her believe it.
After we had taken our dinner it was just half-past five, and Her Majesty said she would take a walk along the long veranda, so we followed her. She showed me her flowers, and said that she had planted them herself. Whenever Her Majesty went anywhere there was always a lot of attendants following her, exactly the same as when she went to the morning audiences. When we reached the end of this long veranda, which took us a quarter of an hour to walk, Her Majesty ordered her stool to be brought into one of the summer houses. These summer houses were built of nothing but bamboo, all the furniture being made of different shaped bamboo. Her Majesty sat down, and one of the eunuchs brought tea and honeysuckle flowers. She ordered the eunuchs to give us tea also. Her Majesty said: "This is my simple way of enjoying life. I love to see the country scenery. There are a great many pretty places which I will show you and I am sure that after you have seen them you will not like foreign countries any more. There is no scenery in the world which can beat the Chinese. Some returned Ministers from abroad said to me that the trees and mountains in foreign countries looked ugly and savage. Is that true?" I concluded right away that someone had wished to please her by saying things about foreigners, so I told her that I had been in almost every country, and had found lovely scenery, but of course it was different from China. While we were talking Her Majesty said that she felt chilly and asked: "Are you cold? You see you have your own eunuchs, they are all standing around, and have nothing to do. Next time tell them to carry your wraps along with you. I think that foreign clothes must be quite uncomfortable either too warm or too cold. I don't see how you can eat, having your waist squeezed that way." Her Majesty got up and we all went on walking slowly towards her own Palace. She sat down on her favorite little throne in the hall and started to play solitaire. We came out on the veranda, and the Young Empress said to us: "You must be tired, for I know you are not used to doing such hard work all day long without stopping. You had better wear Manchu clothes, because they are comfortable and easy to work in. Look at your long train; you have to take it up in your hands while walking."
I told her that I would be only too pleased to change the clothes, but that not having received an order from Her Majesty I could not make any suggestions. The Young Empress said: "No, don't ask anything, and I am sure Her Majesty will tell you to change by and by. Just now she wishes to see your Paris gowns, because she wants to know how foreign ladies dress on different occasions. She thought that some of the ladies came to the Garden Party dressed in woolen clothes. We thought that foreign ladies were not so extravagant as we are until we met Mdme. Plancon the other day. Do you remember what Her Majesty said to you? 'That Mdme. Plancon was so different from many ladies she had met, and also dressed differently.'" It was a chiffon dress, with hand paintings, which Mdme. Plancon wore, which pleased Her Majesty very much. While I was talking with the Young Empress all the electric lights turned up, so I went to Her Majesty to see if she needed anything. She said: "Let us play a game of dice before I go to bed." We began to play the same thing as we had done in the afternoon. Her Majesty won another game, this time it took only an hour to finish the game. Her Majesty said to me: "Why can't you win once?" I knew she wanted to tease, so I said that my luck was bad. She laughed and said: "To-morrow you try to put your stocking on wrong side out; that is a sure sign of winning." I told her that I would, and I knew that pleased her. During the short time I was there I kept studying her most of the while. I could see nothing would make her happier than for me to obey her orders. Her Majesty said that she felt tired, and that we must bring her milk. She said to me: "I want you to burn incense sticks and bow to the ground every night to the Buddha in the next room before I go to bed. I hope you are not a Christian, for if you are I can never feel as if you are mine at all. Do tell me that you are not." I did not expect that question at all, and I must say that it was a very difficult question to answer. For my own protection I had to say that I had nothing to do with the Christians. I felt guilty at having deceived her that way, but it was absolutely necessary, and there was no other way out of it. I knew that I had to answer her question at once, because it would never do for her to see any hesitation, which would arouse her suspicions. Although my face showed nothing, my heart stopped beating for a while. I felt ashamed to have fooled her. The earliest training I had was never to be ashamed to tell the truth. When Her Majesty heard me say that I was not a Christian, she smiled and said: "I admire you; although you have had so much to do with foreigners, yet you did not adopt their religion. On the contrary, you still keep to your own. Be strong and keep it as long as you live. You have no idea how glad I am now, for I suspected you must believe in the foreign God. Even if you don't want to, they can make you believe it. Now I am ready for bed."
We helped her to undress, and I, as usual, put away her jewels, and noticed she wore only one pair of jade bracelets to sleep. She changed into her bed clothes and lay down between the silk covers and said to us: "You can go now." We courtesied to her and withdrew from her bedroom. Out in the hall there was on the cold stone floor six eunuchs. They were the watchmen and must not sleep at all during the night. In her bedroom were two eunuchs, two servant girls, two old women servants and sometimes two Court ladies. These people also must not sleep. The two girls massaged her legs every night, and the two women were there to watch the girls, the two eunuchs to watch the two old women, and the two Court ladies to watch them all, in case they did any mischief. They all took turns, and that was the reason why sometimes two Court ladies must sit overnight when it happened that the eunuchs were not reliable. Her Majesty trusted the Court ladies the most. I was never more surprised in my life than when one of these six eunuchs told me in the hall, for I had asked what they were all doing there.
Later on one of the Court ladies said to me that it was customary for them to take turns to attend at Her Majesty's bedchamber in the morning to wake her up, and that I should take my turn the next morning and my sister the following morning. While saying this she smiled in a most peculiar way. I did not understand at the time, but found out later. I asked her what I should do to wake Her Majesty, and she said: "There is no particular way, you will have to use your own judgment; but be careful not to make her angry. It was my turn this morning. I knew that she was very tired, having had a very trying time the day before, so I had to make a little more noise than usual when waking her. She was very angry and scolded me dreadfully when she arose, as it was rather late. This very often happens when Her Majesty gets up late, as she always says that we do not make enough noise to wake her. However, I don't think she will do this to you, just now, as you are new here; but wait until you have been here a few months." What this Court lady said to me worried me quite considerably; but from what I had seen of Her Majesty so far, I could not believe that she would be angry with anyone who was doing her duty properly.
THE next day I arose earlier than usual and dressed in a great hurry, as I feared I might be late. When I got to Her Majesty's Palace there were a few Court ladies there sitting on the veranda. They smiled and asked me to sit down with them as it was still too early, being only five o'clock. I had been told to wake Her Majesty at five thirty. The Young Empress came up a few minutes later and we all courtesied and wished her "good morning." After talking with us a few minutes, she asked if Her Majesty was awake and which one of us was on duty that day. When I informed her that it was my turn, she immediately ordered me to go to Her Majesty's room at once. I went very quietly and found some servant girls standing about and one Court lady, who was sitting on the floor. She had been on duty all night. When she saw me she got up and whispered to me, that now that I had come, she would go and change her clothes and brush up a bit, and for me not to leave the room until Her Majesty was awake. After this Court lady had gone, I went near to the bed and said: "Lao Tsu Tsung, it is half-past five." She was sleeping with her face toward the wall, and without looking to see who had called her, she said: "Go away and leave me alone. I did not tell you to call me at half-past five. Call me at six," and immediately went off to sleep again. I waited until six and called her again. She woke and said: "This is dreadful. What a nuisance you are." After she had said this, she looked around and saw me standing by the bed. "Oh! it is you, is it? Who told you to come and wake me?" I replied: "One of the Court ladies told me that it was my turn to be on duty in Lao Tsu Tsung's bedchamber." "That is funny. How dare they give orders without receiving instructions from me first? They know that this part of their duty is not very pleasant and have put it off on you because they know you are new here." I made no reply to this. I got along as best I could that day and found it no easy matter, as Her Majesty was very exacting in everything. However, the next time I managed to divert her attention to things new or interesting in order to take her mind off of what she was doing, and in this way had much less trouble getting her out of bed.
My reader can't imagine how very glad we were to get back to our rooms, and it was just 10:30 P. M. I was very tired and sleepy, so I undressed and went to bed at once. I think that as soon as my head touched the pillow I was asleep.
The following day there was the same thing, the usual audience in the morning, of course busy all the time, which went on for fifteen days before I realized it. I began to take great interest in the Court life, and liked it better every day. Her Majesty was very sweet and kind to us always, and took us to see the different places in the Summer Palace. We went to see Her Majesty's farm, situated on the west side of the lake, and had to cross over a high bridge to get there. This bridge is called Tu Tai Chiao (Jade Girdle Bridge). Her Majesty often took us under this bridge in a boat, or we walked round on the border. She seemed very fond of sitting on the top of this bridge on her stool and taking her tea, in fact this was one of her favorite places. She used to go and see her farm once every four or five days, and it always pleased her if she could take some vegetables and rice or corn from her own farm. She cooked these things herself in one of the courtyards. I thought that was good fun, and also turned up my sleeves to help her cook. We brought fresh eggs also from the farm and Her Majesty taught us how to cook them with black tea leaves.
Her Majesty's cooking stoves were very peculiar. They were made of brass, lined with bricks. They could be moved anywhere, for they had no chimneys. Her Majesty told me to boil the eggs first until they were hard, and to crack them but to keep the shells on, and add half a cup of black tea, salt and spices. Her Majesty said: "I like the country life. It seems more natural than the Court life. I am always glad to see young people having fun, and not such grand dames when we are by ourselves. Although I am not young any more, I am still very fond of play." Her Majesty would taste first what we had been cooking, and would give us all to taste. She asked: "Do you not think this food has more flavor than that prepared by the cooks?" We all said it was fine. So we spent the long days at the Court having good fun.
I saw Emperor Kwang Hsu every morning, and whenever I had the time he would always ask some words in English. I was surprised to learn that he knew quite a bit of spelling, too. I found him extremely interesting. He had very expressive eyes. He was entirely a different person when he was alone with us. He would laugh and tease, but as soon as he was in the presence of Her Majesty he would look serious, and as if he were worried to death. At times he looked stupid. I was told by a great many people who were presented to him at the different audiences that he did not look intelligent, and that he would never talk. I knew better, for I used to see him every day. I was at the Court long enough to study him, and found him to be one of the most intelligent men in China. He was a capital diplomat and had wonderful brains, only he had no opportunities. Now a great many people have asked me the same question, if our Emperor Kwang Hsu had any courage or brains. Of course outsiders have no idea how strict the law is, and the way we have to respect our parents. He was compelled to give up a great many things on account of the law. I have had many long talks with him and found him a wise man, with any amount of patience. His life was not a happy one; ever since his childhood his health was poor. He told me that he never had studied literature very much, but it came natural to him. He was a born musician and could play any instrument without studying. He loved the piano, and was always after me to teach him. There were several beautiful grand pianos at the Audience Hall. He had very good taste for foreign music, too. I taught him some easy waltzes and he kept the time beautifully. I found him a good companion and a good friend, and he confided in me and told me his troubles and sorrows. We talked a great deal about western civilization, and I was surprised to learn he was so well informed in everything. He used to tell me, time after time, his ambitions for the welfare of his country. He loved his people and would have done anything to help them whenever there was famine or flood. I noticed that he felt for them. I know that some eunuchs gave false reports about his character,—that he was cruel, etc. I had heard the same thing before I went to the Palace. He was kind to the eunuchs, but there was always that distinction between the master and the servants. He would never allow the eunuchs to speak to him unless they were spoken to, and never listened to any kind of gossip. I lived there long enough, and I know just what kind of cruel people those eunuchs were. They had no respect for their master. They came from the lowest class of people from the country, had no education, no morals, no feeling for anything, not even between themselves. The outside world has heard so many things against His Majesty, the Emperor Kwang Hsu's character, but I assure my readers that these things were told by the eunuchs to their families, and of course they always stretched it out as far as possible in order to make the conversation interesting. The majority of the people living in Peking get all kinds of information through them. I have witnessed the same thing many a time during my stay at the Palace.
One day during the time of Her Majesty's afternoon rest we heard a dreadful noise. It sounded just like the firing off of fire-crackers. Such a noise was quite unusual in the Palace for such things are not allowed to be brought into the Palace grounds. Of course Her Majesty woke up. In a few seconds time everyone became excited and were running to and fro as if the building was on fire. Her Majesty was giving orders and telling the eunuchs to be quiet, but no one listened to her and kept yelling and running around like crazy people, all talking at the same time. Her Majesty was furious and ordered us to bring the yellow bag to her. (I must explain about this bag. It was made of ordinary yellow cloth and contained bamboo sticks of all sorts and sizes and are made to beat the eunuchs, servant girls and old women servants with.) This bag was carried everywhere Her Majesty went, to be handy in case of emergency. Everyone of us knew where this bag was kept. We took all the sticks from the bag and Her Majesty ordered us to go to the courtyard and beat the eunuchs. It was such a funny sight to see all the Court ladies and servant girls each with a stick trying to separate the excited crowd. On my part I thought I was having good fun so I laughed and found the rest were laughing too. Her Majesty was standing on the veranda watching us but she was too far away to see well and with all that noise, we knew she could not hear us laughing. We tried our best to separate the crowd, but were laughing so much we did not have enough strength to hurt any of them. All of a sudden all the eunuchs became quiet and stopped talking, for one of them saw the head eunuch, Li Lien Ying, followed by all his attendants coming towards them. Everyone of them became frightened and stood there like statues. We stopped laughing, too, and turned back each with a stick in our hand, walking toward Her Majesty. Li Lien Ying was having a nap, too, and had heard the noise and had come to enquire what the trouble was and to report it to Her Majesty. It seemed one of the young eunuchs caught a crow. (The eunuchs hated crows, as they are considered an unlucky bird. The people in China called eunuchs crows because they were very disagreeable. That was the reason why the eunuchs hated them so.) They always set traps to catch them and then tied a huge fire-cracker to their legs, set fire to the cracker and then set the unfortunate birds free. Naturally the poor birds would be glad to fly away and by the time the powder exploded would be high up in the air and the poor bird would be blown to pieces. It seemed this was not the first time the eunuchs had played this cruel trick. I was told it always delighted them so much to see blood and torture. They always invited others to drink some wine with them to celebrate an occasion such as this. This cruel deed was always done outside of the wall of the Audience Hall but that day the crow flew towards Her Majesty's own Palace while she was sleeping and the powder exploded while the bird was passing the courtyard. After the head eunuch had told Her Majesty what had happened, she was very angry and ordered that this young eunuch be brought in and receive punishment in her presence. I noticed one of the head eunuch's attendants push the culprit out from the crowd. The head eunuch immediately gave orders to lay this man on the ground and two eunuchs stood on each side of him and beat him on his legs with two heavy bamboo sticks one at a time. The victim never uttered a word while this was going on. The head eunuch counted until this man had received one hundred blows, then he gave orders to stop. Then he knelt in front of Her Majesty waiting for her orders and at the same time kowtowed on the ground until his head made a noise on the stone steps, asking to be punished for his carelessness and neglect of duty. Her Majesty said that it was not his fault and ordered him to take the offender away. During all this time the offender was still on the ground, and did not dare to move. Two eunuchs each took hold of a foot and dragged him out of the courtyard. We were all afraid even to breathe aloud for fear Her Majesty would say that we were pretending to be frightened at witnessing this punishment, at the same time when it was over we would go and gossip about how cruel she was. No one was surprised at what had happened, as we were accustomed to seeing it almost every day and were quite used to it. I used to pity them, but I changed my mind very soon after I had arrived.
The first person I saw punished was a servant girl, she had made a mistake about Her Majesty's socks and had brought two which were not mates, Her Majesty finding that out, ordered another servant girl to slap her face ten times on each cheek. This girl did not slap hard enough, so Her Majesty said they were all good friends and would not obey her orders, so she told the one who had been slapped to slap the other. I thought that was too funny for anything and wanted to laugh the worst way, but of course did not dare. That night I asked those two girls how they felt slapping each other that way. The reason why I asked them was because they were laughing and joking as usual immediately they were out of Her Majesty's bedchamber. They told me that was nothing; that they were quite used to it and never bothered themselves about such small things. I in turn soon became used to it, and was as callous as they were.
Now regarding the servant girls, they are a much better class of people than the eunuchs. They are the daughters of Manchu soldiers, and must stay ten years at the Palace to wait upon Her Majesty, and then they are free to marry. One got married after my first month at the Court. Her Majesty gave her a small sum of money, five hundred taels. This girl was so attached to Her Majesty that it was very hard for her to leave the Court. She was an extremely clever girl. Her name was Chiu Yuen (Autumn's Cloud). Her Majesty named her that because she was so very delicate looking and slight. I liked her very much during the short time that we were together. She told me not to listen to anyone's gossip at the Court, also that Her Majesty had told her she was very fond of me. On the twenty-second day of the third moon she left the Palace, and we were all sorry to lose her. Her Majesty did not realize how much she missed her until after she had gone. For a few days we had nothing but troubles. It seemed as if everything went wrong. Her Majesty was not at all satisfied without Chiu Yuen. The rest of the servant girls were scared, and tried their best to please Her Majesty, but they had not the ability, so we had to help and do a part of their work so as not to make Her Majesty nervous. Unfortunately, she stopped us, and said: "You have enough to do of your own work, and I do not want you to help the servants. You don't please me a bit that way." She could see that I was not accustomed to her ways, for she had spoken severely, so she smiled and said to me: "I know you are good to help them so as not to make me angry, but these servants are very cunning. It isn't that they cannot do their work. They know very well that I always select the clever ones to wait on me in my bedroom and they don't like that, so they pretend to be stupid and make me angry so that I will send them to do the common work. The eunuchs are worse. They are all afraid to take Chiu Yuen's place. Now I have found them out, and I will only keep the stupid ones to wait on me from now." I almost laughed when I noticed that they all looked serious for a moment. I thought these people must be really stupid, and not lazy, but I had dealings with them every day and found them out all right. The eunuchs don't seem to have any brains at all. They are such queer people and have no feelings. They have the same mood all day long—I should say they are in a cruel mood. Whenever Her Majesty gave an order they always said "Jer" (Yes) and as soon as they got to our waiting room they would say to each other: "What was the order? I have forgotten all about it." Then they used to come to one of us who had happened to be present when the order was given: "Please tell us what the order was. I did not listen while Her Majesty was talking." We used to laugh and make fun of them. We knew they were afraid to ask Her Majesty, and of course we had to tell them. One of the eunuch writers had to keep writing down the orders that had been given during the day, for Her Majesty wanted to keep records of everything. There were twenty eunuchs who were educated and they were excellent scholars. These had to answer any questions which Her Majesty happened to ask them about Chinese literature, while she had a good knowledge of it herself. I noticed that it pleased her a great deal if anyone could not answer a question, or knew less than she did. She took delight in laughing at them. Her Majesty was also very fond of teasing. She knew that the Court ladies did not know very much about literature, so she used to try it on us. We had to say something whether it was appropriate to her questions or not, and that would make her laugh. I was told that Her Majesty did not like anyone to be too clever, and yet she could not bear stupid people, so I was rather nervous, and did not know how to act for the first three weeks I was there, but it did not take me very long to study her. She certainly admired clever girls, but she did not like those who would show their cleverness too much. How I won her heart was this way. Whenever I was with her I used to fix my whole attention on her and watched her very closely (not staring, for she hated that) and always carried out her orders properly. I noticed another thing, and that was that whenever she wanted anything to be brought to her, such as cigarettes, handkerchief, etc., she would only look at the article and then look at anyone who happened to be there at the time. (There was always a table in the room, on which everything she needed for the day was placed.) I got so used to her habits that after a short time I knew just what she wanted by looking at her eyes, and I was very seldom mistaken. This pleased her a great deal. She was strong-minded, and would always act the way she thought was right, and had perfect confidence in herself. At times I have seen her looking very sad. She had strong emotions, but her will was stronger. She could control herself beautifully, and yet she liked people to sympathize with her—only by actions, not by words, for she did not like anyone to know her thoughts. I am sure my readers will think how hard it was to be the Court lady of Her Majesty, the Empress Dowager of China, but on the contrary I enjoyed myself very much, as she was so interesting, and I found that she was not at all difficult to please.
The first day of the fourth moon Her Majesty was worried over the lack of rain. She prayed every day after the audience for ten days, without any result. Every one of us kept very quiet. Her Majesty did not even give any orders that day, and spoke to no one. I noticed that the eunuchs were scared, so we went without our luncheon. I worked so hard that morning, and was so hungry—in fact all the Court ladies were. I felt sorry for Her Majesty. Finally she told me I could go, as she wanted to rest a while, so we came back to our own quarters. I questioned our own eunuch Wang as to why Her Majesty was worrying about rain, for we were having lovely weather then, day after day. He told me that Lao Fo Yeh (Old Buddha) was worried for the poor farmers, as all their crops were dead without rain for so long. Wang also reminded me that it had not rained once since I came to live at the Palace. I did not realize that it was so long as two months and seven days, and on the other hand it seemed to me longer than that, for the life was very nice and pleasant, and Her Majesty was very kind to me, as if she had known me for years already. Her Majesty took very little food at dinner that night. There was not a sound anywhere, and everyone kept quiet. The Young Empress told us to eat as fast as we could, which puzzled me. When we came back to our waiting room, the Young Empress said to me that Her Majesty was very much worried for the poor farmers and that she would pray for rain, and stop eating meat for two or three days. That same night, before Her Majesty retired, she gave orders that no pigs were to be slaughtered within the gates of Peking. The reason of this was that by sacrificing ourselves by not eating meat the Gods would have pity on us and send rain. She also gave orders that everyone should bathe the body and wash out the mouth in order that we might be cleansed from all impurities and be ready to fast and pray to the Gods. Also that the Emperor should go to the temple inside the Forbidden City, to perform a ceremony of sacrifice (called Chin Tan). He was not to eat meat or hold converse with anyone, and to pray to the Gods to be merciful and send rain to the poor farmers. His Majesty, the Emperor Kwang Hsu, wore a piece of jade tablet about three inches square, engraved "Chai Chieh" (the meaning being just like Chin Tan-not to eat meat but to pray three times a day), both in Manchu and Chinese, and all the eunuchs who went with the Emperor wore the same kind of tablets. The idea was that this jade tablet was to remind one to be serious in performing the ceremonies.
The next morning Her Majesty got up very early and ordered me not to bring any jewels for her. She dressed herself in great haste. Her breakfast was very simple that day, just milk and steamed bread. Our own breakfast was cabbage and rice cooked together, with a little salt. It was tasteless. Her Majesty did not talk to us at all, except when giving orders, and so, of course, we kept silent. Her Majesty wore a pale gray gown, made very plain, with no embroidery or trimmings of any kind. She wore gray shoes to match, not to mention her gray handkerchief. We followed her into the hall where a eunuch knelt with a large branch of willow tree. Her Majesty picked a little bunch of leaves and stuck it on her head. The Young Empress did the same, and told us to follow her example. Emperor Kwang Hsu took a branch and stuck it on his hat. After that Her Majesty ordered the eunuchs and the servant girls to do the same thing. It was a funny sight, and everyone did look queer with a bunch of leaves on the head. The head eunuch came and knelt in front of Her Majesty and said that everything was prepared for the ceremony in the little pavilion in front of her own palace. She told us that she preferred to walk, as she was going to pray. It took us only a few minutes to cross the courtyard. When we arrived at this pavilion I noticed a large square table was placed in the center of the room. A few large sheets of yellow paper and a jade slab, containing some vermilion powder instead of ink, with two little brushes to write with. At each side of the table stood a pair of large porcelain vases, with two large branches of willow. Of course no one was allowed to speak, but I was curious and wanted to find out why everyone had to wear the willow leaves on the head. Her Majesty's yellow satin cushion was placed in front of this table. She stood there and took a piece of sandalwood and placed it in the incense burner filled with live charcoal. The Young Empress whispered to me to go over and help Her Majesty to burn them. I placed several pieces in until she told me that was enough. Then Her Majesty knelt on her cushion, the Young Empress knelt behind her, and we all knelt in a row behind the Young Empress, and commenced to pray. The Young Empress taught us that very morning how to say the prayer: "We worship the Heavens, and beg all the Buddhas to take pity on us and save the poor farmers from starving. We are willing to sacrifice for them. Pray Heaven send us rain." We repeated the same prayer three times, and bowed three times—nine times in all. After that Her Majesty went to her usual morning audience. It was much earlier than usual that morning for the Court was returning to the Forbidden City at noon. His Majesty, the Emperor Kwang Hsu, was to pray at the Forbidden City and Her Majesty always wanted to accompany him wherever he went. It was nine o'clock in the morning when the audience was over. She ordered me not to bring any jewels for her to the Forbidden City this time, for she would not need them at all. I went to the jewel-room and locked everything up, and placed the keys in a yellow envelope, sealed it, and placed the envelope among the others, and gave them to a eunuch who takes care of these things. We packed all her favorite things. Her gowns were the most important things to pack, she had so many and it was impossible to take all. I noticed that the Court lady who was looking after her gowns was the busiest amongst us. She had to select gowns enough to last four or five days. She told me that she had selected about fifty different ones. I told her that Lao Tsu Tsung might stay at the Forbidden City four or five days, and that she would not need so many gowns. She said it was safer to bring many, for one was not sure what would be Her Majesty's idea for the day. Packing at the Court was very simple. Eunuchs brought many yellow trays, which are made of wood, painted yellow, about five feet by four feet and one foot deep. We placed a large yellow silk scarf in the tray, then the gowns, and covered them with a thick yellow cloth. Everything was packed the same way. It took us about two hours to pack fifty-six trays. These things always started off first, carried by the eunuchs. His Majesty, the Emperor Kwang Hsu, the Young Empress and all the Court ladies, had to kneel on the ground for Her Majesty's sedan chair to pass the Palace Gate, then we went in search of our own chairs. The procession as usual was pretty, soldiers marching in front of her chair, four young Princes riding on horseback on each side of her, and from forty to fifty eunuchs also on horseback behind her, all dressed in their official robes. The Emperor's chair and the Young Empress' chair were of the same color as Her Majesty's. The Secondary wife of the Emperor had a deep yellow chair. The chairs of the Court ladies were red, and were carried by four chair bearers, instead of eight like their Majesties. Our own eunuchs also rode on horseback, behind us. We rode a long time, it seemed to me, before I noticed the Emperor's chair begin to descend from the stone-paved road, and we all followed him. I could see that Her Majesty's chair was still going straight on, and we took a nearer route to reach Wan Shou Si (The long life temple), to await Her Majesty's arrival. We alighted from our chairs and started at once to prepare Her Majesty's tea and her little dishes. I went to help her to alight, and supported her right arm to mount the steps. Her Majesty sat on Her Throne, and we placed a table in front of her and my sister brought her tea. (The custom was, that if she went anywhere, or during the festivals, we must bring to her everything, instead of the eunuchs.) We placed all the dainties in front of her, and then we went to rest. Her Majesty always stopped at this temple on the way from the Summer Palace to the Forbidden City.