Love Conquers All
By
Robert C. Benchley
Illustrated By
Gluyas Williams
Printed October, 1922
Acknowledgment
The author thanks the editors of the following publications for their permission to print the articles in this book: Life, The New York World, The New York Tribune, The Detroit Athletic Club News, and The Consolidated Press Association.
Contents
- Acknowledgment
- Contents
- Illustrations
- The Benchley-Whittier Correspondence
- Family Life in America
- Part 1
- Part 2
- Part 3
- This Child Knows the Answer - Do You?
- Rules and Suggestions for Watching Auction Bridge
- Number Who May Watch
- Preliminaries
- Procedure
- A Christmas Spectacle
- How to Watch a Chess-match
- How to Find a Game to Watch
- The Details of the Game
- Watching Baseball
- How to be a Spectator at Spring Planting
- The Manhattador
- What to do While the Family is Away
- "Roll Your Own"
- Do Insects Think?
- The Score in the Stands
- Mid-winter Sports
- Reading the Funnies Aloud
- Opera Synopses
- Die Meister-Genossenschaft
- Il Minnestrone
- Lucy de Lima
- The Young Idea's Shooting Gallery
- Polyp with a Past
- Holt! Who Goes There?
- Bathing
- Clothing
- Weight
- Fresh Air
- Development
- Feeding
- The Committee on the Whole
- Noting an Increase in Bigamy
- The Real Wiglaf - Man and Monarch
- Facing the Boys' Camp Problem
- All About the Silesian Problem
- "Happy the Home Where Books Are Found"
- When Not in Rome, Why Do as the Romans Did?
- The Tooth, The Whole Tooth, and Nothing But the Tooth
- Malignant Mirrors
- The Power of the Press
- Home for the Holidays
- How to Understand International Finance
- Twas the Night Before Summer
- Welcome Home - and Shut Up!
- Animal Stories - I
- Animal Storeis - II
- The Tariff Unmasked
- Literary Department
- "Take Along a Book"
- Confessions of a Chess Champion
- "Rip Van Winkle"
- Literary Lost and Found Department
- "Old Black Tillie"
- "Victor Hugo's Death"
- "I'm Sorry That I Spelt the Word"
- "God's in His Heaven"
- "She Dwelt Beside"
- "The Golden Wedding"
- Answers
- "Dark Water"
- The New Time-Table
- Mr. Bok's Americanization
- Zane Grey's Movie
- Suppressing "Jurgen"
- Anti-Ibáñez
- On Bricklaying
- "American Anniversaries"
- A Week-end with Wells
- About Portland Cement
- Open Bookcases
- Trout-fishing
- "Scouting for Girls"
- How to Sell Goods
- "You!"
- The Catalogue School
- Effective House Organs
- Advice to Writers
- "The Effective Speaking Voice"
- Those Dangerously Dynamic British Girls
- Books and Other Things
- "Measure Your Mind"
- The Brow-Elevation in Humor
- Business Letters
- Notes
Illustrations
They look him over as if he were a fresh air child being given a day's outing.
The watcher walks around the table, giving each hand a careful scrutiny.
"'Round and 'round the tree I go"
"Atta boy, forty-nine: Only one more to go!"
For three hours there is a great deal of screaming.
He was further aided by the breaks of the game.
Mrs. Deemster didn't enter into the spirit of the thing at all.
"That's right," says the chairman.
"If you weren't asleep what were you doing with your eyes closed?"
You would gladly change places with the most lawless of God's creatures.
I am mortified to discover that the unpleasant looking man is none other than myself.
"I can remember you when you were that high"
She would turn away and bite her lip.
"Listen Ed! This is how it goes!"
I thank them and walk in to the nearest dining-room table.
"Why didn't you tell us that you were reading a paper on birth control?"