Dr. Blair has said:
"We should ever have it fixed in our memories, that by the character of those whom we choose for our friends our own character is likely to be formed, and will certainly be judged of by the world. We ought, therefore, to be slow and cautious in contracting intimacy; but when a virtuous friendship is once established, we must ever consider it as a sacred engagement."

2181.  Words


Soft words soften the soul—angry words are fuel to the flame of wrath, and make it blaze more freely. Kind words make other people good-natured—cold words freeze people, and hot words scorch them, and bitter words make them bitter, and wrathful words make wrathful. There is such a rush of all other kinds of words in our days, that it seems desirable to give kind words a chance among them. There are vain words, and idle words, and hasty words, and spiteful words, and silly words, and empty words, and profane words, and boisterous words, and warlike words. Kind words also produce their own image on men's souls, and a beautiful image it is. They smooth, and quiet, and comfort the hearer. They shame him out of his sour, and morose, and unkind feelings. We have not yet begun to use kind words in such abundance as they ought to be used.

2182.  Gossiping


If you wish to cultivate a gossiping, meddling, censorious spirit in your children, be sure when they come home from church, a visit, or any other place where you do not accompany them, to ply them with questions concerning what everybody wore, how everybody looked, and what everybody said and did; and if you find anything in this to censure, always do it in their hearing. You may rest assured, if you pursue a course of this kind, they will not return to you unladen with intelligence; and rather than it should be uninteresting, they will by degrees learn to embellish, in such a manner as shall not fail to call forth remarks and expressions of wonder from you. You will, by this course, render the spirit of curiosity, which is so early visible in children, and which, if rightly directed, may be made the instrument of enriching and enlarging their minds, a vehicle of mischief which will serve only to narrow them.

2183.  Rules of Conduct


The following rules of conduct were drawn up by Mrs. Fry, who combined in her character and conduct all that is truly excellent in woman:

  1. Never lose any time,—I do not think that time lost which is spent in amusement or recreation some part of each day; but always be in the habit of being employed.
  1. Never err the least in truth.
  1. Never say an ill thing of a person when thou canst say a good thing of him; not only speak charitably, but feel so.
  1. Never be irritable or unkind to anybody.
  1. Never indulge thyself in luxuries that are not necessary.
  1. Do all things with consideration; and when thy path to act right is most difficult, feel confidence in that Power alone which is able to assist thee, and exert thy own powers as far as they go.

2184.  The Female Temper


No trait of character is more agreeable in a female than the possession of a sweet temper. Home can never be happy without it. It is like the flowers that spring up in our pathway, reviving and cheering us. Let a man go home at night, wearied and worn by the toils of the day, and how soothing is a word dictated by a good disposition! It is sunshine falling on his heart. He is happy, and the cares of life are forgotten. A sweet temper has a soothing influence over the minds of a whole family. Where it is found in the wife and mother, you observe a kindness and love predominating over the natural feelings of a bad heart. Smiles, kind words and looks, characterize the children, and peace and love have their dwelling there. Study, then, to acquire and maintain a sweet temper.

2185.  Counsels for the Young


  1. Never be cast down by trifles. If a spider break his thread twenty times, he will mend it again as often.
  1. Make up your mind to do a thing, and you will do it.
  1. Fear not if a trouble comes upon you; keep up your spirits, though the day be a dark one. If the sun is going down, look up to the stars. If the earth is dark, keep your eye on heaven. With God's promises, a man or a child may be cheerful.
  1. Mind what you run after. Never be content with a bubble that will burst—firewood that will end in smoke and darkness. Get that which you can keep, and which is worth keeping.
  1. Fight hard against a hasty temper. Anger will come, but resist it strongly. A fit of passion may give you cause to mourn all the days of your life.
  1. Never revenge an injury. If you have an enemy, act kindly to him, and make him your friend. You may not win him over at once, but try again. Let one kindness be followed by another, till you have compassed your end. By little and little, great things are completed; and repeated kindness will soften the heart of stone.
  1. Whatever you do, do it willingly. A boy that is whipped to school never learns his lessons well. A man who is compelled to work cares not how badly it is performed. He that pulls off his coat cheerfully, turns up his sleeves in earnest, and sings while he works, is the man of action.

2186.  Advice to Young Ladies


  1. If you have blue eyes you need not languish: if black eyes, you need not stare.
  1. If you have pretty feet there is no occasion to wear short petticoats: if you are doubtful as to that point, there can be no harm in letting the petticoats be long.
  1. If you have good teeth, do not laugh in order to show them: if bad teeth do not laugh less than the occasion may warrant.
  1. If you have pretty hands and arms, you may play on the harp if you play well: if they are disposed to be clumsy, work tapestry.
  1. If you have a bad voice, speak in a subdued tone: if you have the finest voice in the world, never speak in a high tone.
  1. If you dance well, dance but seldom; if ill, never dance at all.
  1. If you sing well, make no previous excuses: if indifferently, do not hesitate when you are asked, for few people are judges of singing, but every one is sensible of a desire to please.
  1. To preserve beauty, rise early.
  1. To preserve esteem, be gentle.
  1. To obtain power, be condescending.
  1. To live happily, try to promote the happiness of others.

2187.  Daughters


Mothers who wish not only to discharge well their own duties in the domestic circle, but to train up their daughters for a later day to make happy and comfortable firesides for their families, should watch well, and guard well, the notions which they imbibe and with which they grow up. There will be many persons ready to fill their young heads with false and vain fancies, and there is so much always afloat in society opposed to duty and common sense, that if mothers do not watch well, their children may contract ideas very fatal to their future happiness and usefulness, and hold them till they grow into habits of thought or feeling. A wise mother will have her eyes open, and be ready for every emergency. A few words of common, downright practical sense, timely uttered by her, may be enough to counteract some foolish idea or belief put into her daughter's head by others, whilst if it be left unchecked, it may take such possession of the mind that it cannot be corrected at a later time.


One false notion rife in the present age is the idea that women, unless compelled to it by absolute poverty, are out of place when engaged in domestic affairs. Now mothers should have a care lest their daughters get hold of this conviction as regard themselves—there is danger of it; the fashion of the day engenders it, and even the care that an affectionate family take to keep a girl, during the time of her education, free from other occupations than those of her tasks, or her recreations, may lead her to infer that the matters with which she is never asked to concern herself are, in fact, no concern to her, and that any attention she may ever bestow on them is not a matter of simple duty, but of grace, or concession, or stooping, on her part. Let mothers bring up their daughters from the
first
with the idea that in this world it is required to give as well as to receive, to minister as well as to enjoy; that every person is bound to be useful in his own sphere, and that a woman's first sphere is the house, and its concerns and demands. Once really imbued with this belief, a young girl will usually be anxious to learn all that her mother is disposed to teach, and will be proud and happy to aid in any domestic occupations assigned to her. These need never be made so heavy as to interfere with the peculiar duties or enjoyments of her age. If a mother wishes to see her daughter become a good, happy, and rational woman, never let there be contempt for domestic occupations, or suffer them to be deemed secondary.

2188.  A Wife's Power


The power of a wife for good or evil is irresistible. Home must be the seat of happiness, or it must be for ever unknown. A good wife is to a man wisdom, and courage, and strength, and endurance. A bad wife is confusion, weakness, discomfiture, and despair. No condition is hopeless where the wife possesses firmness, decision, and economy. There is no outward prosperity which can counteract indolence, extravagance, and folly at home. No spirit can long endure bad domestic influence. Man is strong, but his heart is not adamant. He delights in enterprise and action; but to sustain him he needs a tranquil mind, and a whole heart. He needs his moral force in the conflicts of the world. To recover his equanimity and composure, home must be to him a place of repose, of peace, of cheerfulness, of comfort; and his soul renews its strength again, and goes forth with fresh vigour to encounter the labour and troubles of life. But if at home he find no rest, and is there met with bad temper, sullenness, or gloom, or is assailed by discontent or complaint, hope vanishes, and he sinks into despair.

2189.  Husband and Wife


Being hints to each other for the good of both, as actually delivered at our own table:

2190.  Hints for Wives (1)


If your husband occasionally looks a little troubled when he comes home, do not say to him, with an alarmed countenance, "What ails you, my dear?" Don't bother him; he will tell you of his own accord, if need be. Be observant and quiet. Let him alone until he is inclined to talk; take up your book or your needlework pleasantly and cheerfully; and wait until he is inclined to be sociable. Don't let him ever find a shirt-button missing. A shirt-button being off a collar or wrist-band has frequently produced the first impatient word in married Life.

2191.  Hints for Husbands (1)


If your wife complain that young ladies of the present day are very forward, don't accuse her of jealousy. A little concern on her part only proves her love for you, and you may enjoy your triumph without saying a word. Don't evince your weakness either, by complaining of every trifling neglect. What though her knitting and crochet seem to absorb too large a share of her attention; depend upon it, that as her eyes watch the intertwinings of the threads, and the manoeuvres of the needles, she is thinking of the events of byegone times, which entangled your two hearts in the network of love, whose meshes you can neither of you unravel or escape.

2192.  Hints for Wives (2)


Never complain that your husband pores too much over the newspaper, to the exclusion of that pleasing converse which you formerly enjoyed with him. Don't hide the paper, but when the boy leaves it at the door, take it in pleasantly, and lay it down before him. Think what man would be without a newspaper, and how much good newspapers have done by exposing bad husbands and bad wives, by giving their errors to the eye of the public. When your husband is absent, instead of gossiping or looking into shop windows, sit down quietly, and look over that paper; run your eye over its home and foreign news; glance rapidly at the accidents and casualties; carefully scan the leading articles; and at tea-time, when your husband again takes up the paper, make some brief remarks on what you have read, and, depend upon it, he will put it down again. If he has not read the information, he will hear it all from your lips, and when you have read, he will ask questions in his turn, and, gradually, you will get into as cosy a chat as you ever enjoyed; and you will soon discover that, rightly used, the newspaper is the wife's real friend, for it keeps the husband at home, and supplies capital topics for every-day table-talk.

2193.  Hints for Husbands (2)


You can hardly imagine how refreshing it is to occasionally call up the recollection of your courting days. How tediously the hours rolled away prior to the appointed time of meeting; how swiftly they seemed to fly when you had met; how fond was the first greeting; how tender the last embrace; how vivid your dreams of future happiness, when, returning to your home, you felt yourself secure in the confessed love of the object of your warm affections! Is your dream realised?—are you as happy as you expected? Consider whether, as a husband, you are as fervent and constant as you were when a lover. Remember that the wife's claims to your unremitting regard, great before marriage, are now exalted to a much higher degree. She has left the world for you—the home of her childhood, the fireside of her parents, their watchful care and sweet intercourse have all been yielded up for you. Look, then, most jealously upon all that may tend to attract you from home, and to weaken that union upon which your temporal happiness mainly depends; and believe that in the solemn relationship of husband is to be found one of the best guarantees for man's honour and happiness.

2194.  Hints for Wives (3)


Perchance you think that your husband's disposition is much changed; that he is no longer the sweet-tempered, ardent lover he used to be. This may be a mistake. Consider his struggles with the world—his everlasting race with the busy competition of trade. What is it makes him so eager in the pursuit of gain—so energetic by day, so sleepless by night—but his love of home, wife, and children, and a dread that their respectability, according to the light in which he has conceived it, may be encroached upon by the strife of existence? This is the true secret of that silent care which preys upon the hearts of many men, and true it is, that when love is least apparent, it is nevertheless the active principle which animates the heart, though fears and disappointments make up a cloud which obscures the warmer element. As above the clouds there is glorious sunshine, while below are showers and gloom, so with the conduct of man—behind the gloom of anxiety is a bright fountain of high and noble feeling. Think of this in those moments when clouds seem to lower upon your domestic peace, and, by tempering your conduct accordingly, the gloom will soon pass away, and warmth and brightness take its place.

2195.  Hints for Husbands (3)


Summer is the season of love and innocent enjoyment. What shall the husband do when summer returns to gladden the earth, and all who live upon it? Must he still pore over the calculations of the counting-house, or ceaselessly pursue the toils of the work-room—sparing no moment to taste the joys which Heaven measures out so liberally? No! Let him ask his wife once more to breathe with him the fresh air of heaven, and look upon the beauties of earth. The summers are few that they may dwell together; so let him not give them all to Mammon, but seek invigorating and health-renewing recreation abroad, which shall make the hearts of each glow with emotions of renewed love.

Truth is a Rock Large Enough for All to Stand Upon.


2196.  Hints for Wives (4)


"It was!" "It was not!" "It
was!
" "It was
not
!" "Ah!" "Ha!"—Now who's the wiser or the better for this contention for the last word? Does obstinacy establish superiority or elicit truth? Decidedly not! Woman has always been described as clamouring for the last word, and men, generally, have agreed in attributing this trait to her, and in censuring her for it. This being so it remains for some one of the sex, by an exhibition of noble example, to aid in sweeping away the unpleasant imputation. The wife who will establish the rule of allowing her husband to have the last word, will achieve for herself and her sex a great moral victory! Is he
right
?—it were a great error to oppose him. Is he
wrong
?—he will soon discover it, and applaud the self-command which bore unvexed his pertinacity. And gradually there will spring up such a happy fusion of feelings and ideas, that there will be no "last word" to contend about, but a steady and unruffled flow of generous sentiment.

2197.  Cider


A beverage made from the juice of the apple, and for which sour and rough-tasted apples are generally preferred. The process of making cider varies in different localities, but in every case essentially consists of the collection of the fruit, and the expression and fermentation of the juice. The
collection of the fruit
should not be commenced before it has become sufficiently mature. The apples, after being gathered, are usually left for fourteen or fifteen days in a barn or loft to mellow, during which time the mucilage is decomposed, and alcohol and carbonic acid developed.


The
expression of the juice
is the next step in cider-making. The apples are ground to a pulp in a mill, consisting of two fluted cylinders of hard wood or cast iron working against each other. The pulp is afterwards put into coarse strong bags, and pressed with a heavy weight so as to squeeze out all the juice. This is then placed in large open tubs, and kept at a heat of about sixty degrees. After two or three days for weak cider, and eight or ten days for strong cider, or as soon as the sediment has subsided, the liquor is drawn off into clean casks. The casks are then stored in a cellar, shaded barn, or other cool place, where a low and regular temperature can be insured, and are left to mature and ripen until the following spring. The refuse pulp may be given to pigs and store cattle.

2198.  Bottling Cider


Preparatory to
bottling cider
, it should always be examined, to see whether it is clear and sparkling. If not so, it should be clarified, and left for a fortnight. The night previous to bottling, the bung should be taken out of the cask, and the filled bottles should not be corked down until the day after; as, if this is done at once, many of the bottles will burst by keeping. The best corks should be used. Champagne bottles are the best for cider. When the cider is wanted for immediate use, or for consumption during the cooler season of the year, a small piece of lump sugar may be put into each bottle before corking it. When intended for keeping, it should be stored in a cool cellar, when the quality will be greatly improved by age.

2199.  Cider Champagne


Cider, eighteen gallons; spirit, three pints; sugar, five pounds. Mix and let them rest for a fortnight, then fine with one pint of skimmed milk. Bottle in champagne bottles: when opened, it will be found to approach very nearly to genuine champagne.

2200.  Properties of Cider


Cider is a pleasant and refreshing beverage, and with persons in good health is not unwholesome when drunk in moderation. By persons suffering from indigestion, however, it should be carefully avoided; nor should it be drunk by persons when they are overheated, as it is apt to cause colic and other disagreeable symptoms. Persons who suffer from rheumatism, or have a tendency to it should not drink cider.

Knowledge is the Wing whereby we Fly To Heaven.


2201.  Perry


A beverage made from pears. The fruit used for this purpose should contain a large proportion of sugar, and be likewise astringent, or the liquor from it will be acetous when it ceases to be saccharine. In the making of perry, the pears are pressed and ground in precisely the same manner as apples are in the making of cider. The method of fermenting perry is nearly the same as that for cider; but the former does not afford the same indications as the latter by which the proper period of racking off may be known. The thick scum that collects on the surface of cider rarely appears in the juice of the pear, and during the time of the suspension of its fermentation, the excessive brightness of the former liquor is seldom seen in the latter; but when the fruit has been regularly ripe, its produce will generally become moderately clear and quiet in a few days after it is made, and it should then be drawn off from its grosser lees.


In the after management of perry the process is the same as that of cider; but it does not so well bear situations where it is much exposed to change of temperature. In bottle it almost always retains its good qualities, and in that situation it is always advisable to put it, if it remain sound and perfect at the conclusion of the first succeeding summer.

2202.  Servants


There are frequent complaints in these days, that servants are bad, and dependents and aiding hands generally are bad. It may be so. But if it is so, what is the inference? In the working of the machine of society, class moves pretty much with class; that is, one class moves pretty much with its equals in the community (equals so far as social station is concerned), and apart from other classes, as much those below as those above itself; but there is one grand exception to this general rule, and that is, in the case of domestic servants. The same holds, though in less degree, with assistants; and in less degree only; because in this last case, the difference of grade is slighter.


Domestic servants, and assistants in business and trade, come most closely and continually into contact with their employers; and they are about them from morning till night, and see them in every phase of character, in every style of humour, in every act of life. How powerful is the force of example! Rectitude is promoted, not only by precept but by example, and, so to speak, by contact it is increased more widely. Kindness is communicated in the same way. Virtue of every kind acts like an electric shock. Those who come under its influence imbibe its principles. The same with qualities and tempers that do no honour to our nature. If servants come to you bad, you may at least improve them; possibly almost change their nature. Here follows, then, a receipt to that effect:


Receipt for obtaining good servants
.—Let them observe in your conduct to others just the qualities and virtues that you would desire they should possess and practise as respects you. Be uniformly kind and gentle. If you reprove, do so with reason and with good temper. Be respectable, and you will be respected by them. Be kind, and you will meet kindness from them. Consider their interests, and they will consider yours. A friend in a servant is no contemptible thing. Be to every servant a friend; and heartless, indeed, will be the servant who does not warm in love to you.

2203.  Oyster Ketchup


Take some fresh oysters; wash them in their own liquor, strain it, pound them in a marble mortar; to a pint of oysters add a pint of sherry; boil them up, and add an ounce of salt, two drachms of pounded mace, and one of cayenne; let it just boil up again, skim it, and rub it through a sieve; and when cold, bottle it, cork well, and seal it down.

2204.  Walnut Ketchup


Take two sieves of green walnut shells, put them into a tub, mix them up well with from two to three pounds of common salt, let them stand for six days, frequently beating and mashing them. By this time the shells become soft and pulpy, then by banking the mass up on one side of the tub, and at the same time raising the tub on that side, the liquor will drain clear off to the other; then take that liquor out: the mashing and banking-up may be repeated as often as liquor is found. The quantity obtained will be about six quarts. When done, let it be simmered in an iron boiler as long as any scum arises; then bruise a quarter of a pound of ginger, a quarter of a pound of allspice, two ounces of long pepper, and two ounces of cloves. Let it slowly boil for half an hour with the above ingredients; when bottled, let an equal quantity of the spice go into each bottle. Before corking, let the bottles be filled quite up: cork them tight, seal them over, and put them into a cool and dry place for one year before they are used.

2205.  Essence of Mushrooms


This delicate relish is made by sprinkling a little salt over either flap or button mushrooms: three hours after, mash them,—next day, strain off the liquor that will flow from them, put it into a stewpan, and boil it till it is reduced one half. It will not keep long, but is preferable to any of the ketchups containing spice, &c., to preserve them, which overpowers the flavour of the mushrooms. An artificial mushroom bed will supply these all the year round.

2206.  Essence of Celery


This is prepared by soaking for a fortnight half an ounce of the seeds of celery in a quarter of a pint of brandy. A few drops will flavour a pint of soup or broth equal to a head of celery.

2207.  Tincture of Allspice


Bruised allspice, one ounce and a half; brandy, a pint. Steep for a fortnight, occasionally shaking, then pour off the clear liquor. This is excellent for many of the uses of allspice, such as making bishop, mulling wine, flavouring gravies, potted meats, &c.

2208.  Horseradish Vinegar


Pour a quart of best vinegar on three ounces of scraped horseradish, an ounce of minced shalot, and one drachm of cayenne; let it stand a week, and you will have an excellent relish for cold beef, salads, &c., costing but little. Horseradish is in the highest perfection about November.

2209.  Mint Vinegar


Put into a wide-mouthed bottle, fresh nice clean mint leaves enough to fill it loosely; then fill up the bottle with good vinegar; and after it has been corked close for two or three weeks, pour it off clear into another bottle, and keep well corked for use. Serve with lamb when mint cannot be obtained.

2210.  Cress Vinegar


Dry and pound half an ounce of
cress seed
(such as is sown in the garden with mustard), pour upon it a quart of the best vinegar, let it steep for ten days, shaking it up every day. This is very strongly flavoured with cress, and is useful for salads, and as a sauce for cold meats, &c. Celery vinegar may be made in the same manner.

2211.  Cheap and Good Vinegar


To eight gallons of clear rain water, add three quarts of molasses; turn the mixture into a clean, tight cask, shake it well two or three times, and add three spoonfuls of good yeast; place the cask in a warm place, and in ten or fifteen days add a sheet of common wrapping paper, smeared with molasses, and torn into narrow strips, and you will have good vinegar. The paper is necessary to form the "mother," or life of the vinegar.

Little Boats Must Keep Near the Shore.


2212.  Cayenne Pepper


Dr. Kitchiner says (in his excellent book, "The Cook's Oracle"
1
):
"We advise all who are fond of cayenne not to think it too much trouble to make it of English chilis,—there is no other way of being sure it is genuine,—and they will obtain a pepper of much finer flavour, without half the heat of the foreign. A hundred large chilis, costing only two shillings, will produce you about two ounces of cayenne,—so it is as cheap as the commonest cayenne. Four hundred chilis, when the stems were taken off, weighed half a pound; and when dried produced a quarter of a pound of cayenne pepper. The following is the way to make it:—Take away the stalks, and put the pods into a cullender; set them before the fire,—they will take full twelve hours to dry;—then put them into a mortar, with one-fourth their weight of salt, and pound them and rub them till they are as fine as possible, and put them into a well-stoppered bottle."



Footnote 1: