268. After this the two angels and also myself were seized with a desire of seeing those who from worldly love are in the visionary concupiscence or phantasy of possessing all wealth; and we perceived that we were inspired with this desire to the end that such visionaries might be known. Their dwellings were under the earth of our feet, but above hell: we therefore looked at each other and said, "Let us go." There was an opening, and in it a ladder by which we descended; and we were told that we must approach them from the east, lest we should enter into the mist of their phantasy, whereby our understanding and at the same time our sight would be obscured; and lo! there appeared a house built of reeds, and consequently full of chinks, standing in a mist, which continually issued like smoke through the chinks of three of the walls. We entered, and saw perhaps fifty here and fifty there sitting on benches, with their faces turned from the east and south, and looking towards the west and north. Before each person there was a table, on which were large purses, and by the purses a great quantity of gold coin: so we asked them, "Is that the wealth of all the persons in the world?" they replied, "Not of all in the world, but of all in the kingdom." The sound of their voice was hissing; and they had round faces, which glistened like the shell of a snail, and the pupils of their eyes in a green plane as it were shot forth lightning, which was an effect of the light of phantasy. We stood in the midst of them, and said, "You believe that you possess all the wealth of the kingdom;" they replied, "We do possess it." We then asked, "Which of you?" they said, "Every one;" and we asked, "How every one? there are many of you:" they said, "Every one of us knows that all which another has is his own. No one is allowed to think, and still less to say, 'Mine are not thine;' but every one may think and say, 'Thine are mine.'" The coin on the tables appeared, even to us, to be pure gold; but when we let in light from the east, we saw that they were little grains of gold, which they had magnified to such a degree by a union of their common phantasy. They said, that every one that enters ought to bring with him some gold, which they cut into small pieces, and these again into little grains, and by the unanimous force of their phantasy they increase them into larger coin. We then said, "Were you not born men of reason; whence then have you this visionary infatuation?" they said, "We know that it is an imaginary vanity; but as it delights the interiors of our minds, we enter here and are delighted as with the possession of all things: we continue in this place, however, only a few hours, at the end of which we depart; and as often as we do so we again become of sound mind; yet still our visionary delight alternately succeeds and occasions our alternate entrance into and departure from these habitations: thus we are alternately wise and foolish; we also know that a hard lot awaits those who by cunning rob others of their goods." We inquired, "What lot?" they said, "They are swallowed up and are thrust naked into some infernal prison, where they are kept to hard labor for clothes and food, and afterwards for some pieces of coin of trifling value, which they collect, and in which they place the joy of their hearts; but if they do any harm to their companions, they are fined a part of their coin."

269. Afterwards we ascended from these hells to the south, where we had been before, and the angels related there several interesting particulars respecting concupiscence not visionary or phantastic, in which all men are born; namely, that while they are in it, they are like persons infatuated, and yet seem to themselves to be most eminently wise; and that from this infatuation they are alternately let into the rational principle which is in their externals; in which state they see, acknowledge, and confess their insanity; but still they are very desirous to quit their rational and enter their insane state; and also do let themselves into it, as into a free and delightful state succeeding a forced and undelightful one; thus it is concupiscence and not intelligence that interiorly pleases them. There are three universal loves which form the constituent principles of every man by creation: neighbourly love, which also is the love of doing uses; the love of the world, which also is the love of possessing wealth; and the love of self, which also is the love of bearing rule over others. Neighbourly love, or the love of doing uses, is a spiritual love; but the love of the world, or the love of possessing wealth, is a material love; whereas the love of self, or the love of bearing rule over others, is a corporeal love. A man is a man while neighbourly love, or the love of doing uses, constitutes the head, the love of the world the body, and the love of self the feet; whereas if the love of the world constitutes the head, the man is as it were hunched-backed; but when the love of self constitutes the head, he is like a man standing not on his feet, but on the palms of his hands with his head downwards and his haunches upwards. When neighbourly love constitutes the head, and the two other loves in order constitute the body and feet, the man appears from heaven of an angelic countenance, with a beautiful rainbow about his head; whereas if the love of the world constitutes the head, he appears from heaven of a pale countenance like a corpse, with a yellow circle about his head; but if the love of self constitutes the head, he appears from heaven of a dusky countenance, with a white circle about his head. Hereupon I asked, "What do the circles about the head represent?" they replied, "They represent intelligence; the white circle about the head of the dusky countenance represents, that his intelligence is in externals, or about him, but insanity is in his internals, or in him. A man also who is of such a quality and character, is wise while in the body, but insane while in the spirit; and no man is wise in spirit but from the Lord, as is the case when he is regenerated and created again or anew by him." As they said this, the earth opened to the left, and through the opening I saw a devil rising with a white lucid circle around his head, and I asked him, Who he was? He said, "I am Lucifer, the son of the morning: and because I made myself like the Most High, I was cast down." Nevertheless he was not Lucifer, but believed himself to be so. I then said, "Since you were cast down, how can you rise again out of hell?" he replied, "There I am a devil, but here I am an angel of light: do you not see that my head is surrounded by a lucid sphere? you shall also see, if you wish, that I am super-moral among the moral, super-rational among the rational, yea, super-spiritual among the spiritual: I can also preach; yea, I have preached." I asked him, "What have you preached?" he said, "Against fraudulent dealers and adulterers, and against all infernal loves; on this occasion too I, Lucifer, called myself a devil, and denounced vengeance against myself as a devil; and therefore I was extolled to the skies with praises. Hence it is that I am called the son of the morning; and, what I myself was surprised at, while I was in the pulpit, I thought no other than that I was speaking rightly and properly; but I discovered that this arose from my being in externals, which at that time were separated from my internals: but although I discovered this, still I could not change myself, because through my haughtiness I did not look to God." I next asked him, "How could you so speak, when you are yourself a fraudulent dealer, an adulterer, and a devil?" He answered, "I am one character when I am in externals or in the body, and another when in internals or in the spirit; in the body I am an angel, but in the spirit a devil; for in the body I am in the understanding, but in the spirit I am in the will; and the understanding carries me upwards, whereas the will carries me downwards. When I am in the understanding my head is surrounded by a white belt, but when the understanding submits itself entirely to the will, and becomes subservient to it, which is our last lot, the belt grows black and disappears; and when this is the case, we cannot again ascend into this light." Afterwards he spoke of his twofold state, the external and the internal, more rationally than any other person; but on a sudden when he saw the angels attendant on me, his face and voice were inflamed, and he became black, even as to the belt round his head, and he sunk down into hell through the opening from which he arose. The bystanders, from what they had seen, came to this conclusion, that a man is such as his love, and not such as his understanding is; since the love easily draws over the understanding to its side, and enslaves it. I then asked the angels, "Whence have devils such rationality?" They said, "It is from the glory of self-love; for self-love is surrounded by glory, and glory elevates the understanding even into the light of heaven; for with every man the understanding is capable of being elevated according to knowledges, but the will only by a life according to the truths of the church and of reason: hence even atheists, who are in the glory of reputation arising from self-love, and thence in a high conceit of their own intelligence, enjoy a more sublime rationality than many others; this, however, is only when they are in the thought of the understanding, and not when they are in the affection of the will. The affection of the will possesses a man's internal, whereas the thought of the understanding possesses his external." The angel further declared the reason why every man is constituted of the three loves above mentioned; namely, the love of use, the love of the world, and the love of self; which is, that he may think from God, although as from himself. He also said, that the supreme principles in a man are turned upwards to God, the middle outwards to the world, and the lowest downwards to self; and since the latter are turned downwards, a man thinks as from himself, when yet it is from God.

270. THE THIRD MEMORABLE RELATION. One morning on awaking from sleep my thoughts were deeply engaged on some arcana of conjugial love, and at length on this, "In what region of the human mind does love truly conjugial reside, and thence in what region does conjugial cold reside?" I knew that there are three regions of the human mind, one above the other, and that in the lowest region dwells natural love; in the superior, spiritual love; and in the supreme, celestial love; and that in each region there is a marriage of good and truth; and good is of love, and truth is of wisdom; that in each region there is a marriage of love and wisdom; and that this marriage is the same as the marriage of the will and the understanding, since the will is the receptacle of love, and the understanding the receptacle of wisdom. While I was thus deeply engaged in thought, lo! I saw two swans flying towards the north, and presently two birds of paradise flying towards the south, and also two turtle doves flying in the east: as I was watching their flight, I saw that the two swans bent their course from the north to the east, and the two birds of paradise from the south, also that they united with the two doves in the east, and flew together to a certain lofty palace there, about which there were olives, palms, and beeches. The palace had three rows of windows, one above the other; and while I was making my observations, I saw the swans fly into the palace through open windows in the lowest row, the birds of paradise through others in the middle row, and the doves through others in the highest. When I had observed this, an angel presented himself, and said, "Do you understand what you have seen?" I replied, "In a small degree." He said, "That palace represents the habitations of conjugial love, such as are in human minds. Its highest part, into which the doves flew, represents the highest region of the mind, where conjugial love dwells in the love of good with its wisdom; the middle part, into which the birds of paradise flew, represents the middle region, where conjugial love dwells in the love of truth with its intelligence: and the lowest part, into which the swans flew, represents the lowest region of the mind, where conjugial love dwells in the love of what is just and right with its knowledge. The three pairs of birds also signify these things; the pair of turtle doves signifies conjugial love of the highest region, the pair of birds of paradise conjugial love of the middle region, and the pair of swans conjugial love of the lowest region. Similar things are signified by the three kinds of trees about the palace, the olives, palms, and beeches. We in heaven call the highest region of the mind celestial, the middle spiritual, and the lowest natural; and we perceive them as stories in a house, one above another, and an ascent from one to the other by steps as by stairs; and in each part as it were two apartments, one for love, the other for wisdom, and in front as it were a chamber, where love with its wisdom, or good with its truth, or, what is the same, the will with its understanding, consociate in bed. In that palace are presented as in an image all the arcana of conjugial love." On hearing this, being inflamed with a desire of seeing it, I asked whether anyone was permitted to enter and see it, as it was a representative palace? He replied, "None but those who are in the third heaven, because to them every representative of love and wisdom becomes real: from them I have heard what I have related to you, and also this particular, that love truly conjugial dwells in the highest region in the midst of mutual love, in the marriage-chamber or apartment of the will, and also in the midst of the perceptions of wisdom in the marriage-chamber or apartment of the understanding, and that they consociate in bed in the chamber which is in front, in the east." I also asked, "Why are there two marriage-chambers?" He said, "The husband is in the marriage-chamber of the understanding, and the wife in that of the will." I then asked, "Since conjugial love dwells there, where then does conjugial cold dwell?" He replied, "It dwells also in the supreme region, but only in the marriage-chamber of the understanding, that of the will being closed there: for the understanding with its truths, as often as it pleases, can ascend by a winding staircase into the highest region into its marriage-chamber; but if the will with the good of its love does not ascend at the same time into the consociate marriage-chamber, the latter is closed, and cold ensues in the other: this is conjugial cold. The understanding, while such cold prevails towards the wife, looks downwards to the lowest region, and also, if not prevented by fear, descends to warm itself there at an illicit fire." Having thus spoken, he was about to recount further particulars respecting conjugial love from its images in that palace; but he said, "Enough at this time; inquire first whether what has been already said is above the level of ordinary understandings; if it is, what need of saying more? but if not, more will be discovered."

271. Having treated of the causes of cold and separation, it follows from order that the causes of apparent love, friendship, and favor in marriages, should also be treated of; for it is well known, that although cold separates the minds (animos) of married partners at the present day, still they live together, and have children; which would not be the case, unless there were also apparent loves, alternately similar to or emulous of the warmth of genuine love. That these appearances are necessary and useful, and that without them there would be no houses, and consequently no societies, will be seen in what follows. Moreover, some conscientious persons may be distressed with the idea, that the disagreement of mind subsisting between them and their married partners, and the internal alienation thence arising, may be their own fault, and may be imputed to them as such, and on this account they are grieved at the heart; but as it is out of their power to prevent internal disagreements, it is enough for them, by apparent love and favor, from conscientious motives to subdue the inconveniences which might arise: hence also friendship may possibly return, in which conjugial love lies concealed on the part of such, although not on the part of the other. But this subject, like the foregoing, from the great variety of its matter, shall be treated of in the following distinct articles: I. In the natural world almost all are capable of being joined together as to external, but not as to internal affections, if these disagree and are apparent. II. In the spiritual world all are joined together according to internal, but not according to external affections, unless these act in unity with the internal. III. It is the external affections, according to which matrimony is generally contracted in the world. IV. But in case they are not influenced by internal affections, which conjoin minds, the bonds of matrimony are loosed in the house. V. Nevertheless those bonds must continue in the world till the decease of one of the parties. VI. In cases of matrimony, in which the internal affections do not conjoin, there are external affections, which assume a semblance of the internal and tend to consociate. VII. Hence come apparent love, friendship, and favor between married partners. VIII. These appearances are assumed conjugial semblances, and they are commendable, because useful and necessary. IX. These assumed conjugial semblances, in the case of a spiritual man (homo) conjoined to a natural, are founded in justice and judgement. X. For various reasons these assumed conjugial semblances with natural men are founded in prudence. XI. They are for the sake of amendment and accommodation. XII. They are for the sake of preserving order in domestic affairs, and for the sake of mutual aid. XIII. They are for the sake of unanimity in the care of infants and the education of children. XIV. They are for the sake of peace in the house. XV. They are for the sake of reputation out of the house. XVI. They are for the sake of various favors expected from the married partner, or from his or her relations; and thus from the fear of losing such favors. XVII. They are for the sake of having blemishes excused, and thereby of avoiding disgrace. XVIII. They are for the sake of reconciliation. XIX. In case favor does not cease with the wife, when faculty ceases with the man, there may exist a friendship resembling conjugial friendship, when the parties grow old. XX. There are various kinds of apparent love and friendship between married partners, one of whom is brought under the yoke, and therefore is subject to the other. XXI. In the world there are infernal marriages between persons who interiorly are the most inveterate enemies, and exteriorly are as the closest friends. We proceed to an explanation of each article.

272. I. IN THE NATURAL WORLD ALMOST ALL ARE CAPABLE OF BEING JOINED TOGETHER AS TO EXTERNAL, BUT NOT AS TO INTERNAL AFFECTIONS, IF THESE DISAGREE AND ARE APPARENT. The reason of this is, because in the world every one is clothed with a material body, and this is overcharged with lusts, which are in it as dregs that fall to the bottom, when the must of the wine is clarified. Such are the constituent substances of which the bodies of men in the world are composed. Hence it is that the internal affections, which are of the mind, do not appear; and in many cases, scarce a grain of them transpires; for the body either absorbs them, and involves them in its dregs, or by simulation which has been learned from infancy conceals them deeply from the sight of others; and by these means the man puts himself into the state of every affection which he observes in another, and allures his affection to himself, and thus they unite. The reason why they unite is, because every affection has its delight, and delights tie minds together. But it would be otherwise if the internal affections, like the external, appeared visibly in the face and gesture, and were made manifest to the hearing by the tone of the speech; or if their delights were sensible to the nostrils or smell, as they are in the spiritual world: in such case, if they disagreed so as to be discordant, they would separate minds from each other, and according to the perception of antipathy, the minds would remove to a distance. From these considerations it is evident, that in the natural world almost all are capable of being joined together as to external, but not as to internal affections, if these disagree and are apparent.

273. II. IN THE SPIRITUAL WORLD ALL ARE CONJOINED ACCORDING TO INTERNAL, BUT NOT ACCORDING TO EXTERNAL AFFECTIONS, UNLESS THESE ACT IN UNITY WITH THE INTERNAL. This is, because in the spiritual world the material body is rejected, which could receive and bring forth the forms of all affections, as we have said just above; and a man (homo) when stripped of that body is in his internal affections, which his body had before concealed: hence it is, that in the spiritual world similarities and dissimilarities, or sympathies and antipathies, are not only felt, but also appear in the face, the speech, and the gesture; wherefore in that world similitudes are conjoined, and dissimilitudes separated. This is the reason why the universal heaven is arranged by the Lord according to all the varieties of the affections of the love of good and truth, and, on the contrary, hell according to all the varieties of the love of what is evil and false. As angels and spirits, like men in the world, have internal and external affections, and as, in the spiritual world, the internal affections cannot be concealed by the external, they therefore transpire and manifest themselves: hence with angels and spirits both the internal and external affections are reduced to similitude and correspondence; after which their internal affections are, by the external, imaged in their faces, and perceived in the tone of their speech; they also appear in their behaviour and manners. Angels and spirits have internal and external affections, because they have minds and bodies; and affections with the thoughts thence derived belong to the mind, and sensations with the pleasures thence derived to the body. It frequently happens in the world of spirits, that friends meet after death, and recollect their friendships in the former world, and on such occasions believe that they shall live on terms of friendship as formerly; but when their consociation, which is only of the external affections, is perceived in heaven, a separation ensues according to their internal; and in this case some are removed from the place of their meeting into the north, some into the west, and each to such a distance from the other, that they can no longer see or know each other; for in the places appointed for them to remain at, their faces are changed so as to become the image of their internal affections. From these considerations it is manifest, that in the spiritual world all are conjoined according to internal affections, and not according to external, unless these act in unity with the internal.

274. III. IT IS THE EXTERNAL AFFECTIONS ACCORDING TO WHICH MATRIMONY IS GENERALLY CONTRACTED IN THE WORLD. The reason of this is, because the internal affections are seldom consulted; and even if they are, still their similitude is not seen in the woman; for she, by a peculiar property with which she is gifted from her birth, withdraws the internal affections into the inner recesses of her mind. There are various external affections which induce men to engage in matrimony. The first affection of this age is an increase of property by wealth, as well with a view to becoming rich as for a plentiful supply of the comforts of life; the second is a thirst after honors, with a view either of being held in high estimation or of an increase of fortune: besides these, there are various allurements and concupiscences which do not afford an opportunity of ascertaining the agreement of the internal affections. From these few considerations it is manifest, that matrimony is generally contracted in the world according to external affections.

275. IV. BUT IN CASE THEY ARE NOT INFLUENCED BY INTERNAL AFFECTIONS, WHICH CONJOIN MINDS, THE BONDS OF MATRIMONY ARE LOOSED IN THE HOUSE. It is said in the house, because it is done privately between the parties; as is the case when the first warmth, excited during courtship and breaking out into a flame as the nuptials approach, successively abates from the discordance of the internal affections, and at length passes off into cold. It is well known that in this case the external affections, which had induced and allured the parties to matrimony, disappear, so that they no longer effect conjunction. That cold arises from various causes, internal, external, and accidental, all which originate in a dissimilitude of internal inclinations, was proved in the foregoing chapter. From these considerations the truth of what was asserted is manifest, that unless the external affections are influenced by internal, which conjoin minds, the bonds of matrimony are loosed in the house.

277. VI. IN CASE OF MATRIMONY IN WHICH THE INTERNAL AFFECTIONS DO NOT CONJOIN, THERE ARE EXTERNAL AFFECTIONS WHICH ASSUME A SEMBLANCE OF THE INTERNAL AND TEND TO CONSOLIDATE. By internal affections we mean the mutual inclinations which influence the mind of each of the parties from heaven; whereas by external affections we mean the inclinations which influence the mind of each of the parties from the world. The latter affections or inclinations indeed equally belong to the mind, but they occupy its inferior regions, whereas the former occupy the superior: but since both have their allotted seat in the mind, it may possibly be believed that they are alike and agree; yet although they are not alike, still they can appear so: in some cases they exist as agreements, and in some as insinuating semblances. There is a certain communion implanted in each of the parties from the earliest time of the marriage-covenant, which, notwithstanding their disagreement in minds (animis) still remains implanted; as a communion of possessions, and in many cases a communion of uses, and of the various necessities of the house, and thence also a communion of thoughts and of certain secrets; there is also a communion of bed, and of the love of children: not to mention several others, which, as they are inscribed on the conjugial covenant, are also inscribed on their minds. Hence originate especially those external affections which resemble the internal; whereas those which only counterfeit them are partly from the same origin and partly from another; but on the subject of each more will be said in what follows.

278. VII. HENCE COME APPARENT LOVE, FRIENDSHIP, AND FAVOR BETWEEN MARRIED PARTNERS. Apparent loves, friendships, and favors between married partners, are a consequence of the conjugial covenant being ratified for the term of life, and of the conjugial communion thence inscribed on those who ratify it; whence spring external affections resembling the internal, as was just now indicated: they are moreover a consequence of their causes, which are usefulness and necessity: from which in part exist conjunctive external affections, or their counterfeit, whereby external love and friendship appear as internal.

280. IX. THESE ASSUMED CONJUGIAL SEMBLANCES, IN THE CASE OF A SPIRITUAL MAN (homo) CONJOINED TO A NATURAL, ARE FOUNDED IN JUSTICE AND JUDGEMENT. The reason of this is, because the spiritual man, in all he does, acts from justice and judgement; wherefore he does not regard these assumed semblances as alienated from their internal affections, but as connected with them; for he is in earnest, and respects amendment as an end; and if he does not obtain this, he respects accommodation for the sake of domestic order, mutual aid, the care of children, and peace and tranquillity. To these things he is led from a principle of justice; and from a principle of judgement he gives them effect. The reason why a spiritual man so lives with a natural one is, because a spiritual man acts spiritually, even with a natural man.

283. XII. THEY ARE FOR THE SAKE OF PRESERVING ORDER IN DOMESTIC AFFAIRS, AND FOR THE SAKE OF MUTUAL AID. Every house in which there are children, their instructors, and other domestics, is a small society resembling a large one. The latter also consists of the former, as a whole consists of its parts, and thereby it exists; and further, as the security of a large society depends on order, so does the security of this small society; wherefore as it behoves public magistrates to see and provide that order may exist and be preserved in a compound society, so it concerns married partners in their single society. But there cannot be this order if the husband and wife disagree in their minds (animis); for thereby mutual counsels and aids are drawn different ways, and are divided like their minds, and thus the form of the small society is rent asunder; wherefore to preserve order, and thereby to take care of themselves and at the same time of the house, or of the house and at the same time of themselves, lest they should come to hurt and fall to ruin, necessity requires that the master and mistress agree, and act in unity; and if, from the difference of their minds (mentium) this cannot be done so well as it might, both duty and propriety require that it be done by representative conjugial friendship. That hereby concord is established in houses for the sake of necessity and consequent utility, is well known.

284. XIII. THEY ARE FOR THE SAKE OF UNANIMITY IN THE CARE OF INFANTS AND THE EDUCATION OF CHILDREN. It is very well known that assumed conjugial semblances, which are appearances of love and friendship resembling such as are truly conjugial, exist with married partners for the sake of infants and children. The common love of the latter causes each married partner to regard the other with kindness and favor. The love of infants and children with the mother and the father unite as the heart and lungs in the breast. The love of them with the mother is as the heart, and the love towards them with the father is as the lungs. The reason of this comparison is, because the heart corresponds to love, and the lungs to the understanding; and love grounded in the will belongs to the mother, and love grounded in the understanding to the father. With spiritual men (homines) there is conjugial conjunction by means of that love grounded in justice and judgement; in justice, because the mother had carried them in her womb, had brought them forth with pain, and afterwards with unwearied care suckles, nourishes, washes, dresses, and educates them, (and in judgement, because the father provides for their instruction in knowledge, intelligence, and wisdom).

285. XIV. THEY ARE FOR THE SAKE OF PEACE IN THE HOUSE. Assumed conjugial semblances, or external friendships for the sake of domestic peace and tranquillity, relate principally to the men, who, from their natural characteristic, act from the understanding in whatever they do; and the understanding, being exercised in thought, is engaged in a variety of objects which disquiet, disturb, and distract the mind; wherefore if there were not tranquillity at home, it would come to pass that the vital spirits of the parties would grow faint, and their interior life would as it were expire, and thereby the health of both mind and body would be destroyed. The dreadful apprehension of these and several other dangers would possess the minds of the men, unless they had an asylum with their wives at home for appeasing the disturbances arising in their understandings. Moreover peace and tranquillity give serenity to their minds, and dispose them to receive agreeably the kind attentions of their wives, who spare no pains to disperse the mental clouds which they are very quick-sighted to observe in their husbands: moreover, the same peace and tranquillity make the presence of their wives agreeable. Hence it is evident, that an assumed semblance of love, as if it was truly conjugial, for the sake of peace and tranquillity at home, is both necessary and useful. It is further to be observed, that with the wives such semblances are not assumed as with the men; but if they appear to resemble them, they are the effect of real love, because wives are born loves of the understanding of the men; wherefore they accept kindly the favors of their husbands, and if they do not confess it with their lips, still they acknowledge it in heart.

286. XV. THEY ARE FOR THE SAKE OF REPUTATION OUT OF THE HOUSE. The fortunes of men in general depend on their reputation for justice, sincerity, and uprightness; and this reputation also depends on the wife, who is acquainted with the most familiar circumstances of her husband's life; therefore if the disagreements of their minds should break out into open enmity, quarrels, and threats of hatred, and these should be noised abroad by the wife and her friends, and by the domestics, they would easily be turned into tales of scandal, which would bring disgrace and infamy upon the husband's name. To avoid such mischiefs, he has no other alternative than either to counterfeit affection for his wife, or that they be separated as to house.

290. XIX. IN CASE FAVOR DOES NOT CEASE WITH THE WIFE, WHEN FACULTY CEASES WITH THE MAN, THERE MAY EXIST A FRIENDSHIP RESEMBLING CONJUGIAL FRIENDSHIP WHEN THE PARTIES GROW OLD. The primary cause of the separation of minds (animorum) between married partners is a falling off of favor on the wife's part in consequence of the cessation of ability on the husband's part, and thence a falling off of love; for just as heats communicate with each other, so also do colds. That from a falling off of love on the part of each, there ensues a cessation of friendship, and also of favor, if not prevented by the fear of domestic ruin, is evident both from reason and experience. In case therefore the man tacitly imputes the causes to himself, and still the wife perseveres in chaste favor towards him, there may thence result a friendship, which, since it subsists between married partners, appears to resemble conjugial love. That a friendship resembling the friendship of that love, may subsist between married partners, when old, experience testifies from the tranquillity, security, loveliness, and abundant courtesy with which they live, communicate, and associate together.

291. XX. THERE ARE VARIOUS KINDS OF APPARENT LOVE AND FRIENDSHIP BETWEEN MARRIED PARTNERS, ONE OF WHOM IS BROUGHT UNDER THE YOKE, AND THEREFORE IS SUBJECT TO THE OTHER. It is no secret in the world at this day, that as the first fervor of marriage begins to abate, there arises a rivalship between the parties respecting right and power; respecting right, in that according to the statutes of the covenant entered into, there is an equality, and each has dignity in the offices of his or her function; and respecting power, in that it is insisted on by the men, that in all things relating to the house, superiority belongs to them, because they are men, and inferiority to the women because they are women. Such rivalships, at this day familiar, arise from no other source than a want of conscience respecting love truly conjugial, and of sensible perception respecting the blessedness of that love; in consequence of which want, lust takes the place of that love, and counterfeits it; and, on the removal of genuine love, there flows from this lust a grasping for power, in which some are influenced by the delight of the love of domineering, which in some is implanted by artful women before marriage, and which to some is unknown. Where such grasping prevails with the men, and the various turns of rivalship terminate in the establishment of their sway, they reduce their wives either to become their rightful property, or to comply with their arbitrary will, or into a state of slavery, every one according to the degree and qualified state of that grasping implanted and concealed in himself; but where such grasping prevails with the wives, and the various turns of rivalship terminate in establishing their sway, they reduce their husbands either into a state of equality of right with themselves, or of compliance with their arbitrary will, or into a state of slavery: but as when the wives have obtained the sceptre of sway, there remains with them a desire which is a counterfeit of conjugial love, and is restrained both by law and by the fear of legitimate separation, in case they extend their power beyond the rule of right into what is contrary thereto, therefore they lead a life in consociation with their husbands. But what is the nature and quality of the love and friendship between a ruling wife and a serving husband, and also between a ruling husband and a serving wife, cannot be briefly described; indeed, if their differences were to be specifically pointed out and enumerated, it would occupy several pages; for they are various and diverse—various according to the nature of the grasping for power prevalent with the men, and in like manner with the wives; and diverse in regard to the differences subsisting in the men and the women; for such men have no friendship of love but what is infatuated, and such wives are in the friendship of spurious love grounded in lust. But by what arts wives procure to themselves power over the men, will be shewn in the following article.