314. XVIII. THERE ARE SUCCESSIVE AND SIMULTANEOUS ORDER, AND THE LATTER IS FROM THE FORMER AND ACCORDING TO IT. This is adduced as a reason tending to confirm what goes before. It is well known that there exist what is successive and what is simultaneous; but it is unknown that simultaneous order is grounded in successive, and is according to it; yet how things successive enter into things simultaneous, and what order they form therein, it is very difficult to present to the perception, since the learned are not in possession of any ideas that can elucidate the subject; and as the first idea respecting this arcanum cannot be suggested in few words, and to treat this subject at large would withdraw the mind from a more comprehensive view of the subject of conjugial love, it may suffice for illustration to quote what we have adduced in a compendium respecting those two orders, the successive and the simultaneous, and respecting the influx of the former into the latter, in THE DOCTRINE OF THE NEW JERUSALEM RESPECTING THE SACRED SCRIPTURE, where are these words: "There are in heaven and in the world successive order and simultaneous order. In successive order one thing follows after another from the highest to the lowest; but in simultaneous order one thing is next to another from the inmost to the outermost. Successive order is like a column with steps from the highest to the lowest; but simultaneous order is like a work cohering from the centre to the surface. Successive order becomes in the ultimate simultaneous in this manner; the highest things of successive order become the inmost of simultaneous, and the lowest things of successive order become the outermost of simultaneous; comparatively as when a column of steps subsides, it becomes a body cohering in a plane. Thus what is simultaneous is formed from what is successive; and this in all things both of the spiritual and of the natural world." See n. 38, 65, of that work; and several further observations on this subject in the ANGELIC WISDOM RESPECTING THE DIVINE LOVE AND DIVINE WISDOM, n. 205-229. The case is similar with successive order leading to marriage, and with simultaneous order in marriage; namely, that the latter is from the former, and according to it. He that is acquainted with the influx of successive order into simultaneous, may comprehend the reason why the angels can see in a man's hand all the thoughts and intentions of his mind, and also why wives, from their husbands' hands on their bosoms, are made sensible of their affections; which circumstance has been occasionally mentioned in the MEMORABLE RELATIONS. The reason of this is, because the hands are the ultimates of man, wherein the deliberations and conclusions of his mind terminate, and there constitute what is simultaneous: therefore also in the Word, mention is made of a thing's being inscribed on the hands.
315. To the above I shall add TWO MEMORABLE RELATIONS. FIRST. On a certain time I saw not far from me a meteor—a cloud divided into smaller clouds, some of which were of an azure color, some opaque, and as it were in collision together. They were streaked with translucent irradiations of light, which at one time appeared sharp like the points of swords, at another, blunt like broken swords. The streaks sometimes darted out forwards, at others they drew themselves in again, exactly like combatants; thus those different colored lesser clouds appeared to be at war together; but it was only their manner of sporting with each other. And as this meteor appeared at no great distance from me, I raised my eyes, and looking attentively, I saw boys, youths, and old men, entering a house which was built of marble, on a foundation of porphyry; and it was over this house that the phenomenon appeared. Then addressing myself to one that was entering, I asked, "What house is this?" He answered, "It is a gymnasium, where young persons are initiated into various things relating to wisdom." On hearing this, I went in with them, being then in the spirit, that is, in a similar state with men of the spiritual world, who are called spirits and angels; and lo! in the gymnasium there were in front a desk, in the middle, benches, at the sides round about, chairs, and over the entrance, an orchestra. The desk was for the young men that were to give answers to the problem at that time to be proposed, the benches were for the audience, the chairs at the sides were for those who on former occasions had given wise answers, and the orchestra was for the seniors, who were arbitrators and judges: in the middle of the orchestra was a pulpit, where there sat a wise man, whom they called the head master, who proposed the problems to which the young men gave their answers from the desk. When all were assembled, this man arose from the pulpit and said, "Give an answer now to this problem, and solve it if you can, WHAT IS THE SOUL, AND WHAT IS ITS QUALITY?" On hearing this problem all were amazed, and made a muttering noise; and some of the company on the benches exclaimed, "What mortal man, from the age of Saturn to the present time, has been able by any rational thought to see and ascertain what the soul is, still less what is its quality? Is not this subject above the sphere of all human understanding?" But it was replied from the orchestra, "It is not above the understanding, but within it and in its view; only let the problem be answered." Then the young men, who were chosen on that day to ascend the desk, and give an answer to the problem, arose. They were five in number, who had been examined by the seniors, and found to excel in sagacity, and were then sitting on couches at the sides of the desk. They afterwards ascended in the order in which they were seated; and every one, when he ascended, put on a silken tunic of an opaline color, and over it a robe of soft wool interwoven with flowers, and on his head a cap, on the crown of which was a bunch of roses encircled with small sapphires. The first youth thus clad ascended the desk, and thus began: "What the soul is, and what is its quality, has never been revealed to any one since the day of creation, being an arcanum in the treasuries of God alone; but this has been discovered, that the soul resides in a man as a queen; yet where her palace is, has been a matter of conjecture among the learned. Some have supposed it to be in a small tubercle between the cerebrum and the cerebellum, which is called the pineal gland: in this they have fixed the soul's habitation, because the whole man is ruled from those two brains, and they are regulated by that tubercle; therefore whatever regulates the brains, regulates also the whole man from the head to the heel." He also added, "Hence this conjecture appeared as true or probable to many in the world; but in the succeeding age it was rejected as groundless." When he had thus spoken, he put off the robe, the tunic, and the cap, which the second of the selected speakers put on, and ascended the desk. His sentiments concerning the soul are as follows: "In the whole heaven and the whole world it is unknown what the soul is, and what is its quality; it is however known that there is a soul, and that it is in man; but in what part of him is a matter of conjecture. This is certain, that it is in the head, since the head is the seat where the understanding thinks, and the will intends; and in front in the face of the head are man's five sensories, receiving life from the soul alone which resides in the head; but in what particular part of the head the soul has its more immediate residence, I dare not take upon me to say; yet I agree with those who fix its abode in the three ventricles of the brain, sometimes inclining to the opinion of those who fix it in the corpora striata therein, sometimes to theirs who fix it in the medullary substance of each brain, sometimes to theirs who fix it in the cortical substance, and sometimes to theirs who fix it in the dura mater; for arguments, and those too of weight, have not been wanting in the support of each of these opinions. The arguments in favor of the three ventricles of the brain have been, that those ventricles are the recipients of the animal spirits and of all the lymphs of the brain: the arguments in favor of the corpora striata have been, that these bodies constitute the marrow, through which the nerves are emitted, and by which each brain is continued into the spine; and from the spine and the marrow there is an emanation of fibres serving for the contexture of the whole body: the arguments in favor of the medullary substance of each brain have been, that this substance is a collection and congeries of all the fibres, which are the rudiments or beginnings of the whole man: the arguments in favor of the cortical substance have been, that in that substance are contained the prime and ultimate ends, and consequently the principles of all the fibres, and thereby of all the senses and motions: the arguments in favor of the dura mater have been, that it is the common covering of each brain, and hence by some kind of continuous principle extends itself over the heart and the viscera of the body. As to myself, I am undetermined which of these opinions is the most probable, and therefore I leave the matter to your determination and decision." Having thus concluded he descended from the desk, and delivered the tunic, the robe, and the cap, to the third, who mounting into the desk began as follows: "How little qualified is a youth like myself for the investigation of so sublime a theorem! I appeal to the learned who are here seated at the sides of the gymnasium; I appeal to you wise ones in the orchestra; yea, I appeal to the angels of the highest heaven, whether any person, from his own rational light, is able to form any idea concerning the soul; nevertheless I, like others, can guess about the place of its abode in man; and my conjecture is, that it is in the heart and thence in the blood; and I ground my conjecture on this circumstance, that the heart by its blood rules both the body and the head; for it sends forth a large vessel called the aorta into the whole body, and vessels called the carotids into the whole head; hence it is universally agreed, that the soul from the heart by means of the blood supports, nourishes, and vivifies the universal organical system both of the body and the head. As a further proof of this position it may be urged, that in the Sacred Scripture frequent mention is made of the soul and the heart; as where it is said, Thou shalt love God from the whole soul and the whole heart; and that God creates in man a new soul and a new heart, Deut. vi. 5; chap. x. 12; chap. xi. 13; chap. xxvi. 16; Jerem. xxxii. 41; Matt, xxii. 37; Mark xii. 30, 33; Luke x. 27; and in other places: it is also expressly said, that the blood is the soul of the flesh, Levit. xvii. 11, 14." At these words, the cry of "Learned! learned!" was heard in the assembly, and was found to proceed from some of the canons. After this a fourth, clad in the garments of the former speaker, ascended the desk, and thus began: "I also am inclined to suspect that not a single person can be found of so subtle and refined a genius as to be able to discover what the soul is, and what is its quality; therefore I am of opinion, that in attempting to make the discovery, subtlety will be spent in fruitless labor; nevertheless from my childhood I have continued firm in the opinion of the ancients, that the soul of man is in the whole of him, and in every part of the whole, and thus that it is in the head and in all its parts, as well as in the body and in all its parts; and that it is an idle conceit of the moderns to fix its habitation in any particular part, and not in the body throughout; besides, the soul is a spiritual substance, of which there cannot be predicated either extension or place, but habitation and impletion; moreover, when mention is made of the soul, who does not conceive life to be meant? and is not life in the whole and in every part?" These sentiments were favorably received by a great part of the audience. After him the fifth rose, and, being adorned with the same insignia, thus delivered himself from the desk: "I will not waste your time and my own in determining the place of the soul's residence, whether it be in some particular part of the body, or in the whole; but from my mind's storehouse I will communicate to you my sentiments on the subject, What is the soul, and what is its quality? No one conceives of the soul but as of a pure somewhat, which may be likened to ether, or air, or wind, containing a vital principle, from the rationality which man enjoys above the beasts. This opinion I conceive to be founded on the circumstance, that when a man expires, he is said to breathe forth or emit his soul or spirit; hence also the soul which lives after death is believed to be such a breath or vapor animated by some principle of thinking life, which is called the soul; and what else can the soul be? But as I heard it declared from the orchestra, that this problem concerning the soul, its nature and quality, is not above the understanding, but is within it and in its view, I intreat and beseech you, who have made this declaration, to unfold this eternal arcanum yourselves." Then the elders in the orchestra turned their eyes towards the head master, who had proposed the problem, and who understood by their signs that they wished him to descend and teach the audience: so he instantly quitted the pulpit, passed through the auditory, and entered the desk, and there, stretching out his hand, he thus began: "Let me bespeak your attention: who does not believe the soul to be the inmost and most subtle essence of man? and what is an essence without a form, but an imaginary entity? wherefore the soul is a form, and a form whose qualities and properties I will now describe. It is a form of all things relating to love, and of all things relating to wisdom. All things relating to love are called affections, and those relating to wisdom are called perceptions. The latter derived from the former and thereby united with them constitute one form, in which are contained innumerable things in such an order, series, and coherence, that they may be called a one; and they may be called a one also for this reason, because nothing can be taken away from it, or added to it, but the quality of the form is changed. What is the human soul but such a form? are not all things relating to love and all things relating to wisdom essentials of that form? and are not these things appertaining to a man in his soul, and by derivation from the soul in his head and body? You are called spirits and angels; and in the world you believed that spirits and angels are like mere wind or ether, and thus mere mind and animation; and now you see clearly that you are truly, really, and actually men, who, during your abode in the world, lived and thought in a material body, and knew that a material body does not live and think, but a spiritual substance in that body; and this substance you called the soul, whose form you then were ignorant of, but now have seen and continue to see. You all are souls, of whose immortality you have heard, thought, said, and written so much; and because you are forms of love and wisdom from God, you can never die. The soul therefore is a human form, from which the smallest thing cannot be taken away, and to which the smallest thing cannot be added; and it is the inmost of all the forms of the whole body: and since the forms which are without receive from the inmost both essence and form, therefore you are souls, as you appear to yourselves and to us: in a word, the soul is the very man himself, because it is the inmost man; therefore its form is fully and perfectly the human form: nevertheless it is not life, but the proximate receptacle of life from God, and thereby the habitation of God." When he had thus spoken, many expressed their approbation; but some said, "We will weigh the matter." I immediately went home, and lo! over the gymnasium, instead of the foregoing meteor, there appeared a bright cloud, without streaks or rays that seemed to combat with each other, and which, penetrating through the roof, entered, and illuminated the walls; and I was informed, that they saw some pieces of writing, and among others this, "Jehovah God breathed into the man's nostrils the SOUL OF LIVES, and the man became a LIVING SOUL," Gen. ii. 7.
316. THE SECOND MEMORABLE RELATION. Some time ago, as I was walking with my mind (animus) at rest, and in a state of delightful mental peace, I saw at a distance a grove, in the midst of which was an avenue leading to a small palace, into which maidens and youths, husbands and wives were entering. I also went thither in spirit, and asked the keeper who was standing at the entrance, whether I also might enter? He looked at me; upon which I said, "Why do you look at me?" He replied, "I look at you that I may see whether the delight of peace, which appears in your face, partakes at all of the delight of conjugial love. Beyond this avenue there is a little garden, and in the midst of it a house, where there are two novitiate conjugial partners, who to-day are visited by their friends of both sexes, coming to pay their congratulations. I do not know those whom I admit; but I was told that I should know them by their faces: those in whom I saw the delights of conjugial love, I was to admit, and none else." All the angels can see from the faces of others the delights of their hearts; and he saw the delight of that love in my face, because I was then meditating on conjugial love. This meditation beamed forth from my eyes, and thence entered into the interiors of my face: he therefore told me that I might enter. The avenue through which I entered was formed of fruit trees connected together by their branches, which made on each side a continued espalier. Through the avenue I entered the little garden, which breathed a pleasant fragrance from its shrubs and flowers. The shrubs and flowers were in pairs; and I was informed that such little gardens appear about the houses where there are and have been nuptials, and hence they are called nuptial gardens. I afterwards entered the house, where I saw the two conjugial partners holding each other by the hands, and conversing together from love truly conjugial; and as I looked, it was given me to see from their faces the image of conjugial love, and from their conversation the vital principle thereof. After I, with the rest of the company, had paid them my respects, and wished them all happiness, I went into the nuptial garden, and saw on the right side of it a company of youths, to whom all who came out of the house resorted. The reason of their resorting to them was, because they were conversing respecting conjugial love, and conversation on this subject attracts to it the minds (animos) of all by a certain occult power. I then listened to a wise one who was speaking on the subject; and the sum of what I heard is as follows: That the divine providence of the Lord is most particular and thence most universal in respect to marriages in the heavens: because all the felicities of heaven issue from the delights of conjugial love, like sweet waters from the sweet source of a fountain; and that on this account it is provided by the Lord that conjugial pairs be born, and that these pairs be continually educated for marriage, neither the maiden nor the youth knowing anything of the matter; and after a stated time, when they both become marriageable, they meet as by chance, and see each other; and that in this case they instantly know, as by a kind of instinct, that they are pairs, and by a kind of inward dictate think within themselves, the youth, that she is mine, and the maiden, that he is mine; and when this thought has existed for some time in the mind of each, they deliberately accost each other, and betroth themselves. It is said, "as by chance," and "as by instinct," and the meaning is, by the divine providence; since, while the divine providence is unknown, it has such an appearance. That conjugial pairs are born and educated to marriage, while each party is ignorant of it, he proved by the conjugial likeness visible in the faces of each; also by the intimate and eternal union of minds (animorum) and minds (mentium), which could not possibly exist, as it does in heaven, without being foreseen and provided by the Lord. When the wise one had proceeded thus far with his discourse, and had received the applauses of the company, he further added, that in the minutest things with man, both male and female, there is a conjugial principle; but still the conjugial principle with the male is different from what it is with the female; also that in the male conjugial principle there is what is conjunctive with the female conjugial principle, and vice versa, even in the minutest things. This he confirmed by the marriage of the will and the understanding in every individual, which two principles act together upon the minutest things of the mind and of the body; from which considerations it may be seen, that in every substance, even the smallest, there is a conjugial principle; and that this is evident from the compound substances which are made up of simple substances; as that there are two eyes, two ears, two nostrils, two cheeks, two lips, two arms with hands, two loins, two feet, and within in man two hemispheres of the brain, two ventricles of the heart, two lobes of the lungs, two kidneys, two testicles; and where there are not two, still they are divided into two. The reason why there are two is, because the one is of the will and the other of the understanding, which act wonderfully in each other to present a one; wherefore the two eyes make one sight, the two ears one hearing, the two nostrils one smell, the two lips one speech, the two hands one labor, the two feet one pace, the two hemispheres of the brain one habitation of the mind, the two chambers of the heart one life of the body by the blood, the two lobes of the lungs one respiration, and so forth; but the male and female principles, united by love truly conjugial, constitute one life fully human. While he was saying these things, there appeared red lightning on the right, and white lightning on the left; each was mild, and they entered through the eyes into the mind, and also enlightened it. After the lightning it also thundered; which was a gentle murmur from the angelic heaven flowing down and increasing. On hearing and seeing these things, the wise one said, "These are to remind me to add the following observations: that of the above pairs, the right one signifies their good, and the left their truth; and that this is from the marriage of good and truth, which is inscribed on man in general and in every one of his principles; and good has reference to the will, and truth to the understanding, and both together to a one. Hence, in heaven the right eye is the good of vision, and the left the truth thereof; also the right ear is the good of hearing, and the left the truth thereof; and likewise the right hand is the good of a man's ability, and the left the truth thereof; and in like manner in the rest of the above pairs; and since the right and left have such significations, therefore the Lord said, 'If thy right eye scandalize thee, pluck it out; and if thy right hand scandalize thee, cut it off;' whereby he meant, if good becomes evil, the evil must be cast out. This is the reason also why he said to his disciples that they should cast the net on the right side of the ship; and that when they did so, they took a great multitude of fishes; whereby he meant that they should teach the good of charity, and that thus they would collect men." When he had said these things, the two lightnings again appeared, but milder than before; and then it was seen, that the lightning on the left derived its whiteness from the red-shining fire of the lightning on the right; on seeing which he said, "This is a sign from heaven tending to confirm what I have said; because what is firy in heaven is good, and what is white in heaven is truth; and its being seen that the lightning on the left derived its whiteness from the red-shining fire of the lightning on the right, is a demonstrative sign that the whiteness of light, or light, is merely the splendor of fire." On hearing this all went home, inflamed with the good and truth of gladness, in consequence of the above lightnings, and of the conversation respecting them.
317. It may come to be a matter of question, whether conjugial love, which is that of one man with one wife, after the death of one of the parties, can be separated, or transferred, or superinduced; also whether repeated marriages have any thing in common with polygamy, and thereby whether they may be called successive polygamies; with several other inquiries which often add scruples to scruples with men of a reasoning spirit. In order therefore that those who are curious in such researches, and who only grope in the shade respecting these marriages, may see some light, I have conceived it would be worth while to present for their consideration the following articles on the subject: I. After the death of a married partner, again to contract wedlock, depends on the preceding conjugial love. II. It depends also on the state of marriage, in which the parties had lived. III. With those who have not been in love truly conjugial there is no obstacle or hindrance to their again contracting wedlock. IV. Those who had lived together in love truly conjugial are unwilling to marry again, except for reasons separate from conjugial love. V. The state of the marriage of a youth with a maiden differs from that of a youth with a widow. VI. The state of the marriage of a widower with a maiden differs also from that of a widower with a widow. VII. The varieties and diversities of these marriages as to love and its attributes are innumerable. VIII. The state of a widow is more grievous than that of a widower. We proceed to the explanation of each article.
318. I. AFTER THE DEATH OF A MARRIED PARTNER, AGAIN TO CONTRACT WEDLOCK, DEPENDS ON THE PRECEDING CONJUGIAL LOVE. Love truly conjugial is like a balance, in which the inclinations for repeated marriages are weighed: so far as the preceding conjugial love had been genuine, so far the inclination for another marriage is weak; but so far as the preceding love had not been genuine, so far the inclination to another marriage is usually strong. The reason of this is obvious; because conjugial love is in a similar degree a conjunction of minds, which remains in the life of the body of the one party after the decease of the other; and this holds the inclination as a scale in a balance, and causes a preponderance according to the appropriation of true love. But since the approach to this love is seldom made at this day except for a few paces, therefore the scale of the preponderance of the inclination generally rises to a state of equilibrium, and from thence inclines and tends to the other side, that is, to marriage. The contrary is the case with those, whose preceding-love in the former marriage has not been truly conjugial, because in proportion as that love is not genuine, there is in a like degree a disjunction of minds, which also remains in the life of the body of the one party after the decease of the other; and this enters the will disjoined from that of the other, and causes an inclination for a new connection; in favor of which the thought arising from the inclination of the will induces the hope of a more united, and thereby a more delightful connection. That inclinations to repeated marriages arise from the state of the preceding love, is well known, and is also obvious to reason: for love truly conjugial is influenced by a fear of loss, and loss is followed by grief; and this grief and fear reside in the very inmost principles of the mind. Hence, so far as that love prevails, so far the soul inclines both in will and in thought, that is, in intention, to be in the subject with and in which it was: from these considerations it follows, that the mind is kept balancing towards another marriage according to the degree of love in which it was in the former marriage. Hence it is that after death the same parties are re-united, and mutually love each other as they did in the world: but as we said above, such love at this day is rare, and there are few who make the slightest approach to it; and those who do not approach it, and still more those who keep at a distance from it, as they were desirous of separation in the matrimonial life heretofore passed, so after death they are desirous of being united to another. But respecting both these sorts of persons more will be said in what follows.
319. II. AFTER THE DEATH OF A MARRIED PARTNER, AGAIN TO CONTRACT WEDLOOK, DEPENDS ALSO ON THE STATE OF MARRIAGE IN WHICH THE PARTIES HAD LIVED. By the State of marriage here we do not mean the state of love treated of in the foregoing article, because the latter causes an internal inclination to marriage or from it; but we mean the state of marriage which causes an external inclination to it or from it; and this state with its inclinations is manifold: as, 1. If there are children in the house, and a new mother is to be provided for them. 2. If there is a wish for a further increase of children. 3. If the house is large and full of servants of both sexes. 4. If the calls of business abroad divert the mind from domestic concerns, and without a new mistress there is reason to fear misery and misfortune. 5. If mutual aids and offices require that married partners be engaged in various occupations and employments. 6. Moreover it depends on the temper and disposition of the separated partner, whether after the first marriage the other partner can or cannot live alone, or without a consort. 7. The preceding marriage also disposes the mind either to be afraid of married life, or in favor of it. 8. I have been informed that polygamical love and the love of the sex, also the lust of deflowering and the lust of variety, have induced the minds (animos) of some to desire repeated marriages; and that the minds of some have also been induced thereto by a fear of the law and of the loss of reputation, in case they commit whoredom: besides several other circumstances which promote external inclinations to matrimony.
320. III. WITH THOSE WHO HAVE NOT BEEN IN LOVE TRULY CONJUGIAL, THERE IS NO OBSTACLE OR HINDRANCE TO THEIR AGAIN CONTRACTING WEDLOCK. With those who have not been principled in conjugial love, there is no spiritual or internal, but only a natural or external bond; and if an internal bond does not keep the external in its order and tenor, the latter is but like a bundle when the bandage is removed, which flows every way according as it is tossed or driven by the wind. The reason of this is, because what is natural derives its origin from what is spiritual, and in its existence is merely a mass collected from spiritual principles; wherefore if the natural be separated from the spiritual, which produced and as it were begot it, it is no longer kept together interiorly, but only exteriorly by the spiritual, which encompasses and binds it in general, and does not tie it and keep it tied together in particular. Hence it is, that the natural principle separated from the spiritual, in the case of two married partners, does not cause any conjunction of minds, and consequently of wills, but only a conjunction of some external affections, which are connected with the bodily senses. The reason why nothing opposes and hinders such persons from again contracting wedlock, is, because they have not been the essentials of marriage; and hence those essentials do not at all influence them after separation by death: therefore they are then absolutely at their own disposal, whether they be widowers or widows, to bind their sensual affections with whomsoever they please, provided there be no legal impediment. Neither do they themselves think of marriages in any other than a natural view, and from a regard to convenience in supplying various necessities and external advantages, which after the death of one of the parties may again be supplied by another; and possibly, if their interior thoughts were viewed, as in the spiritual world, there would not be found in them any distinction between conjugial unions and extra-conjugial connections. The reason why it is allowable for these to contract repeated marriages, is, as above-mentioned, because merely natural connections are after death of themselves dissolved and fall asunder; for by death the external affections follow the body, and are entombed with it; those only remaining which are connected with internal principles. But it is to be observed, that marriages interiorly conjunctive can scarcely be entered into in the world, because elections of internal likenesses cannot there be provided by the Lord as in the heavens; for they are limited in many ways, as to equals in rank and condition, within the country, city, and village where they live; and in the world for the most part married partners are held together merely by externals, and thus not by internals, which internals do not shew themselves till some time after marriage, and are only known when they influence the externals.
321. IV. THOSE WHO HAD LIVED TOGETHER IN LOVE TRULY CONJUGIAL ARE UNWILLING TO MARRY AGAIN, EXCEPT FOR REASONS SEPARATE FROM CONJUGIAL LOVE. The reasons why those who had lived in love truly conjugial, after the death of their married partners are unwilling to marry again, are as follow. 1. Because they were united as to their souls, and thence as to their minds; and this union, being spiritual, is an actual junction of the soul and mind of one of the parties to those of the other, which cannot possibly be dissolved; that such is the nature of spiritual conjunction, has been constantly shewn above. 2. Because they were also united as to their bodies by the receptions of the propagation of the soul of the husband by the wife, and thus by the insertion of his life into hers, whereby a maiden becomes a wife; and on the other hand by the reception of the conjugial love of the wife by the husband, which disposes the interiors of his mind, and at the same time the interiors and exteriors of his body, into a state receptible of love and perceptible of wisdom, which makes him from a youth become a husband; see above, n. 198. 3. Because a sphere of love from the wife, and a sphere of understanding from the man, is continually flowing forth, and because it perfects conjunctions, and encompasses them with its pleasant influence, and unites them; see also above, n. 223. 4. Because married partners thus united think of, and desire what is eternal, and because on this idea their eternal happiness is founded; see n. 216. 5. From these several considerations it is, that they are no longer two, but one man, that is, one flesh. 6. That such a union cannot be destroyed by the death of one of the parties, is manifest to the sight of a spirit. 7. To the above considerations shall be added this new information, that two such conjugial partners, after the death of one, are still not separated; since the spirit of the deceased dwells continually with that of the survivor, and this even to the death of the latter, when they again meet and are reunited, and love each other more tenderly than before, because they are then in the spiritual world. Hence flows this undeniable consequence, that those who had lived in love truly conjugial, are unwilling to marry again. But if they afterwards contract something like marriage, it is for reasons separate from conjugial love, which are all external; as in case there are young children in the house, and the care of them requires attention; if the house is large and full of servants of both sexes; if the calls of business abroad divert the mind from domestic concerns; if mutual aids and offices are necessary; with other cases of a like nature.
322. V. THE STATE OF THE MARRIAGE OF A YOUTH WITH A MAIDEN DIFFERS FROM THAT OF A YOUTH WITH A WIDOW. By states of marriage we mean the states of the life of each party, the husband and the wife, after the nuptials, thus in the marriage, as to the quality of the intercourse at that time, whether it be internal, that is of souls and minds, which is intercourse in the principle idea, or whether it be only external, that is of minds (animorum), of the senses, and of the body. The state of marriage of a youth with a maiden is essentially itself initiatory to genuine marriage; for between these conjugial love can proceed in its just order, which is from its first heat to its first torch, and afterwards from its first seed with the youth-husband, and from its first flower with the maiden-wife, and thus generate, grow, and fructify, and introduce itself into those successive states with both parties mutually; but if otherwise, the youth or the maiden was not really such, but only in external form. But between a youth and a widow there is not such an initiation to marriage from first principles, nor a like progression in marriage, since a widow is more at her own disposal, and under her own jurisdiction, than a maiden; wherefore a youth addresses himself differently to his wife if she were a widow, from what he does if she were a maiden. But herein there is much variety and diversity; therefore the subject is here mentioned only in a general way.
323. VI. THE STATE OF THE MARRIAGE OF A WIDOWER WITH A MAIDEN DIFFERS ALSO FROM THAT OF A WIDOWER WITH A WIDOW. For a widower has already been initiated into married life which a maiden has to be; and yet conjugial love perceives and is sensible of its pleasantness and delight in mutual initiation; a youth-husband and a maiden-wife perceive and are sensible of things ever new in whatever occurs, whereby they are in a kind of continual initiation and consequent amiable progression. The case is otherwise in the state of the marriage of a widower with a maiden: the maiden-wife has an internal inclination, whereas with the man that inclination has passed away; but herein there is much variety and diversity: the case is similar in a marriage between a widower and a widow; however, except this general notion, it is not allowable to add anything specifically.
324. VII. THE VARIETIES AND DIVERSITIES OF THESE MARRIAGES AS TO LOVE AND ITS ATTRIBUTES ARE INNUMERABLE. There is an infinite variety of all things, and also an infinite diversity. By varieties we here mean the varieties between those things which are of one genus or species, also between the genera and species; but by diversities we here mean the diversities between those things which are opposite. Our idea of the distinction of varieties and diversities may be illustrated as follows: The angelic heaven, which is connected as a one, in an infinite variety, no one there being absolutely like another, either as to souls and minds, or as to affections, perceptions, and consequent thoughts, or as to inclinations and consequent intentions, or as to tone of voice, face, body, gesture, and gait, and several other particulars, and yet, notwithstanding there are myriads of myriads, they have been and are arranged by the Lord into one form, in which there is full unanimity and concord; and this could not possibly be, unless they were all, with their innumerable varieties, universally and individually under the guidance of one: these are what we here mean by varieties. But by diversities we mean the opposites of those varieties, which exist in hell; for the inhabitants there are diametrically opposite to those in heaven; and hell, which consists of such, is kept together as a one by varieties in themselves altogether contrary to the varieties in heaven, thus by perpetual diversities. From these considerations it is evident what is perceived by infinite variety and infinite diversity. The case is the same in marriages, namely, that there are infinite varieties with those who are in conjugial love, and infinite varieties with those who are in adulterous love; and hence, that there are infinite diversities between the latter and the former. From these premises it follows, that the varieties and diversities in marriages of every genus and species, whether of a youth with a maiden, or of a youth with a widow, or of a widower with a maiden, or of a widower with a widow exceed all number: who can divide infinity into numbers?
325. VIII. THE STATE OF A WIDOW IS MORE GRIEVOUS THAN THAT OF A WIDOWER. The reasons for this are both external and internal; the external are such as all can comprehend; as: 1. That a widow cannot provide for herself and her family the necessaries of life, nor dispose of them when acquired, as a man can and as she previously did by and with her husband. 2. That neither can she defend herself and her family as is expedient; for, while she was a wife, her husband was her defence, and as it were her arm; and while she herself was her own (defence and arm), she still trusted to her husband. 3. That of herself she is deficient of counsel in such things as relate to interior wisdom and the prudence thence derived. 4. That a widow is without the reception of love, in which as a woman she is principled; thus she is in a state contrary to that which was innate and induced by marriage. These external reasons, which are natural, have their origin from internal reasons also, which are spiritual, like all other things in the world and in the body; respecting which see above, n. 220. Those external natural reasons are perceived from the internal spiritual reasons which proceed from the marriage of good and truth, and principally from the following: that good cannot provide or arrange anything but by truth; that neither can good defend itself but by truth; consequently that truth is the defence and as it were the arm of good; that good without truth is deficient of counsel, because it has counsel, wisdom, and prudence by means of truth. Now since by creation the husband is truth, and the wife the good thereof; or, what is the same thing, since by creation the husband is understanding, and the wife the love thereof, it is evident that the external or natural reasons, which aggravate the widowhood of a woman, have their origin from internal or spiritual reasons. These spiritual reasons, together with natural, are meant by what is said of widows in several passages in the Word; as may be seen in the APOCALYPSE REVEALED, n. 764.
326. To the above I shall add TWO MEMORABLE RELATIONS. FIRST. After the problem concerning the soul had been discussed and solved in the gymnasium, I saw them coming out in order: first came the chief teacher, then the elders, in the midst of whom were the five youths who had given the answers, and after these the rest. When they were come out they went apart to the environs of the house, where there were piazzas surrounded by shrubs; and being assembled, they divided themselves into small companies, which were so many groups of youths conversing together on subjects of wisdom, in each of which was one of the wise persons from the orchestra. As I saw these from my apartment, I became in the spirit, and in that state I went out to them, and approached the chief teacher, who had lately proposed the problem concerning the soul. On seeing me, he said. "Who are you? I was surprised as I saw you approaching in the way, that at one instant you came into my sight, and the next instant went out of it; or that at one time I saw you, and suddenly I did not see you: assuredly you are not in the same state of life that we are." To this I replied, smiling, "I am neither a player nor a vertumnus; but I am alternate, at one time in your light, and at another in your shade; thus both a foreigner and a native." Hereupon the chief teacher looked at me, and said, "You speak things strange and wonderful: tell me who you are." I said, "I am in the world in which you have been, and from which you have departed, and which is called the natural world; and I am also in the world into which you have come, and in which you are, which is called the spiritual world. Hence I am in a natural state, and at the same time in a spiritual state; in a natural state with men of the earth and in a spiritual state with you; and when I am in the natural state, you do not see me, but when I am in the spiritual state, you do; that such should be my condition, has been granted me by the Lord. It is known to you, illustrious sir, that a man of the natural world does not see a man of the spiritual world, nor vice versa; therefore when I let my spirit into the body, you did not see me; but when I let it out of the body, you did see me. You have been teaching in the gymnasium, that you are souls, and that souls see souls, because they are human forms; and you know, that when you were in the natural world, you did not see yourself or your souls in your bodies; and this is a consequence of the difference between what is spiritual and what is natural." When he heard of the difference between what is spiritual and what is natural, he said, "What do you mean by that difference? is it not like the difference between what is more or less pure? for what is spiritual but that which is natural in a higher state of purity?" I replied, "The difference is of another kind; it is like that between prior and posterior, which bear no determinate proportion to each other: for the prior is in the posterior as the cause is in the effect; and the posterior is derived from the prior as the effect from its cause: hence, the one does not appear to the other." To this the chief teacher replied, "I have meditated and ruminated upon this difference, but heretofore in vain; I wish I could perceive it." I said, "You shall not only perceive the difference between what is spiritual and what is natural, but shall also see it." I then proceeded as follows: "You yourself are in a spiritual state with your associate spirits, but in a natural state with me; for you converse with your associates in the spiritual language, which is common to every spirit and angel, but with me in my mother tongue; for every spirit and angel, when conversing with a man, speaks his peculiar language; thus French with a Frenchman, English with an Englishman, Greek with a Greek, Arabic with an Arabian, and so forth. That you may know therefore the difference between what is spiritual and what is natural in respect to languages, make this experiment; withdraw to your associates, and say something there: then retain the expressions, and return with them in your memory, and utter them before me." He did so, and returned to me with those expressions in his mouth, and uttered them; and they were altogether strange and foreign, such as do not occur in any language of the natural world. By this experiment several times repeated, it was made very evident that all the spiritual world have the spiritual language, which has in it nothing that is common to any natural language, and that every man comes of himself into the use of that language after his decease. At the same time also he experienced, that the sound of the spiritual language differs so far from the sound of natural language, that a spiritual sound, though loud, could not at all be heard by a natural man, nor a natural sound by a spirit. Afterwards I requested the chief teacher and the bystanders to withdraw to their associates, and write some sentence or other on a piece of paper, and then return with it to me, and read it. They did so, and returned with the paper in their hand; but when they read it, they could not understand any part of it, as the writing consisted only of some letters of the alphabet, with turns over them, each of which was significative of some particular sense and meaning: because each letter of the alphabet is thus significative, it is evident why the Lord is called Alpha and Omega. On their repeatedly withdrawing, and writing in the same manner, and returning to me, they found that their writing involved and comprehended innumerable things which no natural writing could possibly express; and they were given to understand, that this was in consequence of the spiritual man's thoughts being incomprehensible and ineffable to the natural man, and such as cannot flow and be brought into any other writing or language. Then as some present were unwilling to comprehend that spiritual thought so far exceeds natural thought, as to be respectively ineffable, I said to them, "Make the experiment; withdraw into your spiritual society, and think on some subject, and retain your thoughts, and return, and express them before me." They did so; but when they wanted to express the subject thought of, they were unable; for they did not find any idea of natural thought adequate to any idea of spiritual thought, consequently no words expressive of it; for ideas of thought are constituent of the words of language. This experiment they repeated again and again; whereby they were convinced that spiritual ideas are supernatural, inexpressible, ineffable, and incomprehensible to the natural man; and on account of this their super-eminence, they said, that spiritual ideas, or thoughts, as compared with natural, were ideas of ideas, and thoughts of thoughts; and that therefore they were expressive of qualities of qualities, and affections of affections; consequently that spiritual thoughts were the beginnings and origins of natural thoughts: hence also it was made evident that spiritual wisdom was the wisdom of wisdom, consequently that it was imperceptible to any wise man in the natural world. It was then told them from the third heaven, that there is a wisdom still interior and superior, which is called celestial, bearing a proportion to spiritual wisdom like that which spiritual wisdom bears to natural, and that these descend by an orderly influx according to the heavens from the divine wisdom of the Lord, which is infinite.