Sirrah, bring the Lady with you to ask Pardon for you;
then aloud,
Look to it
, Will,
I'll never forgive you else.
The Fellow went back
to his Mistress, and telling her with a loud Voice and an Oath, That was
the honestest Fellow in the World, convey'd her to an Hackney-Coach.
But the many Irregularities committed by Servants in the Places
above-mentioned, as well as in the Theatres, of which Masters are
generally the Occasions, are too various not to need being resumed on
another Occasion.
R.
of the
White's
, established as a chocolate-house in 1698,
had a polite character for gambling, and was a haunt of sharpers and gay
noblemen before it became a Club.
Contents
|
Tuesday, June 12, 1711 |
Addison |
... Petite hinc juvenesque senesque
Finem animo certum, miserisque viatica canis.
Cras hoc fiet. Idem eras fiet. Quid? quasi magnum
Nempe diem donas? sed cum lux altera venit,
Jam cras hesternum consumpsimus; ecce aliud cras
Egerit hos annos, et semper paulum erit ultra.
Nam quamvis prope te, quamvis temone sub uno
Vertentem sese frustra sectabere canthum.
Per.
translation
As my Correspondents upon the Subject of Love are very numerous, it is
my Design, if possible, to range them under several Heads, and address
my self to them at different Times. The first Branch of them, to whose
Service I shall Dedicate these Papers, are those that have to do with
Women of dilatory Tempers, who are for spinning out the Time of
Courtship to an immoderate Length, without being able either to close
with their Lovers, or to dismiss them. I have many Letters by me filled
with Complaints against, this sort of Women. In one of them no less a
Man than a Brother of the Coif tells me, that he began his Suit
Vicesimo nono Caroli secundi
, before he had been a Twelvemonth at
the
Temple;
that he prosecuted it for many Years after he was
called to the Bar; that at present he is a Sergeant at Law; and
notwithstanding he hoped that Matters would have been long since brought
to an Issue, the Fair One still
demurrs
. I am so well pleased
with this Gentleman's Phrase, that I shall distinguish this Sect of
Women by the Title of
Demurrers
. I find by another Letter from
one that calls himself
Thirsis
, that his Mistress has been
Demurring above these seven Years. But among all my Plaintiffs of this
Nature, I most pity the unfortunate
Philander
, a Man of a
constant Passion and plentiful Fortune, who sets forth that the timorous
and irresolute
Silvia
has demurred till she is past
Child-bearing.
Strephon
appears by his Letter to be a very
cholerick Lover, and irrevocably smitten with one that demurrs out of
Self-interest. He tells me with great Passion that she has bubbled him
out of his Youth; that she drilled him on to Five and Fifty, and that he
verily believes she will drop him in his old Age, if she can find her
Account in another. I shall conclude this Narrative with a Letter from
honest Sam Hopewell, a very pleasant Fellow, who it seems has at last
married a
Demurrer:
I must only premise, that Sam, who is a very
good Bottle-Companion, has been the Diversion of his Friends, upon
account of his Passion, ever since the Year One thousand Six hundred and
Eighty one.
Dear Sir,
'You know very well my Passion for Mrs. Martha, and what a
Dance she has led me: She took me at the Age of Two and Twenty, and
dodged with me above Thirty Years. I have loved her till she is grown
as Grey as a Cat, and am with much ado become the Master of her
Person, such as it is at present. She is however in my Eye a very
charming old Woman. We often lament that we did not marry sooner, but
she has no Body to blame for it but her self: You know very well that
she would never think of me whilst she had a Tooth in her Head. I have
put the Date of my Passion (Anno Amoris Trigesimo primo)
instead of a Posy, on my Wedding-Ring. I expect you should send me a
Congratulatory Letter, or, if you please, an Epithalamium, upon this
Occasion.
Mrs. Martha's and
Yours Eternally,
Sam Hopewell
In order to banish an Evil out of the World, that does not only produce
great Uneasiness to private Persons, but has also a very bad Influence
on the Publick, I shall endeavour to shew the Folly of
Demurrage
from
two or three Reflections which I earnestly recommend to the Thoughts of
my fair Readers.
First of all I would have them seriously think on the Shortness of their
Time. Life is not long enough for a Coquet to play all her Tricks in. A
timorous Woman drops into her Grave before she has done deliberating.
Were the Age of Man the same that it was before the Flood, a Lady might
sacrifice half a Century to a Scruple, and be two or three Ages in
demurring. Had she Nine Hundred Years good, she might hold out to the
Conversion of the
Jews
before she thought fit to be prevailed upon.
But, alas! she ought to play her Part in haste, when she considers that
she is suddenly to quit the Stage, and make Room for others.
In the second Place, I would desire my Female Readers to consider, that
as the Term of Life is short, that of Beauty is much shorter. The finest
Skin wrinkles in a few Years, and loses the Strength of its Colourings
so soon, that we have scarce Time to admire it. I might embellish this
Subject with Roses and Rain-bows, and several other ingenious Conceits,
which I may possibly reserve for another Opportunity.
There is a third Consideration which I would likewise recommend to a
Demurrer, and that is the great Danger of her falling in Love when she
is about Threescore, if she cannot satisfie her Doubts and Scruples
before that Time. There is a kind of
latter Spring
, that sometimes
gets into the Blood of an old Woman and turns her into a very odd sort
of an Animal. I would therefore have the Demurrer consider what a
strange Figure she will make, if she chances to get over all
Difficulties, and comes to a final Resolution, in that unseasonable Part
of her Life.
I would not however be understood, by any thing I have here said, to
discourage that natural Modesty in the Sex, which renders a Retreat from
the first Approaches of a Lover both fashionable and graceful: All that
I intend, is, to advise them, when they are prompted by Reason and
Inclination, to demurr only out of Form, and so far as Decency requires.
A virtuous Woman should reject the first Offer of Marriage, as a good
Man does that of a Bishoprick; but I would advise neither the one nor
the other to persist in refusing what they secretly approve. I would in
this Particular propose the Example of
Eve
to all her Daughters,
as
Milton
has represented her in the following Passage, which I
cannot forbear transcribing intire, tho' only the twelve last Lines are
to my present Purpose.
The Rib he form'd and fashion'd with his Hands;
Under his forming Hands a Creature grew,
Man-like, but diff'rent Sex; so lovely fair!
That what seem'd fair in all the World, seem'd now
Mean, or in her summ'd up, in her contain'd
And in her Looks; which from that time infus'd
Sweetness into my Heart, unfelt before:
And into all things from her Air inspir'd
The Spirit of Love and amorous Delight.
She disappear'd, and left me dark! I wak'd
To find her, or for ever to deplore
Her Loss, and other Pleasures all1 abjure;
When out of Hope, behold her, not far off,
Such as I saw her in my Dream, adorn'd
With what all Earth or Heaven could bestow
To make her amiable: On she came,
Led by her heav'nly Maker, though unseen,
And guided by his Voice, nor uninform'd
Of nuptial Sanctity and Marriage Rites:
Grace was in all her Steps, Heav'n in her Eye,
In every Gesture Dignity and Love.
I overjoyed, could not forbear aloud.
This Turn hath made Amends; thou hast fulfill'd
Thy Words, Creator bounteous and benign!
Giver of all things fair! but fairest this
Of all thy Gifts, nor enviest. I now see
Bone of my Bone, Flesh of my Flesh, my Self....
She heard me thus, and tho' divinely brought,
Yet Innocence and Virgin Modesty,
Her Virtue, and the Conscience of her Worth,
That would be woo'd, and not unsought be won,
Not obvious, not obtrusive, but retir'd
The more desirable; or, to say all,
Nature her self, tho' pure of sinful Thought,
Wrought in her so, that seeing me, she turn'd2.
I followed her: she what was Honour knew,
And with obsequious Majesty approved
My pleaded Reason. To the Nuptial Bower
I led her blushing like the Morn3 ...
to
fled;
P. L. Bk. VIII.
Contents
|
Wednesday, June 13, 1711 |
Addison |
... Magnus sine viribus Ignis
Incassum furit
Virg.
translation
is not, in my Opinion, a Consideration more effectual to
extinguish inordinate Desires in the Soul of Man, than the Notions of
Plato
and his Followers
upon that Subject. They tell us, that
every Passion which has been contracted by the Soul during her Residence
in the Body, remains with her in a separate State; and that the Soul in
the Body or out of the Body, differs no more than the Man does from
himself when he is in his House, or in open Air. When therefore the
obscene Passions in particular have once taken Root and spread
themselves in the Soul, they cleave to her inseparably, and remain in
her for ever, after the Body is cast off and thrown aside. As an
Argument to confirm this their Doctrine they observe, that a lewd Youth
who goes on in a continued Course of Voluptuousness, advances by Degrees
into a libidinous old Man; and that the Passion survives in the Mind
when it is altogether dead in the Body; nay, that the Desire grows more
violent, and (like all other Habits) gathers Strength by Age, at the
same time that it has no Power of executing its own Purposes. If, say
they, the Soul is the most subject to these Passions at a time when it
has the least Instigations from the Body, we may well suppose she will
still retain them when she is entirely divested of it. The very
Substance of the Soul is festered with them, the Gangrene is gone too
far to be ever cured; the Inflammation will rage to all Eternity.
In this therefore (say the
Platonists
) consists the Punishment of a
voluptuous Man after Death: He is tormented with Desires which it is
impossible for him to gratify, solicited by a Passion that has neither
Objects nor Organs adapted to it: He lives in a State of invincible
Desire and Impotence, and always burns in the Pursuit of what he always
despairs to possess. It is for this Reason (says
Plato
) that the
Souls of the Dead appear frequently in Cœmiteries, and hover about the
Places where their Bodies are buried, as still hankering after their old
brutal Pleasures, and desiring again to enter the Body that gave them an
Opportunity of fulfilling them.
Some of our most eminent Divines have made use of this
Platonick
Notion, so far as it regards the Subsistence of our Passions after
Death, with great Beauty and Strength of Reason.
Plato
indeed
carries the Thought very far, when he grafts upon it his Opinion of
Ghosts appearing in Places of Burial. Though, I must confess, if one did
believe that the departed Souls of Men and Women wandered up and down
these lower Regions, and entertained themselves with the Sight of their
Species, one could not devise a more Proper Hell for an impure Spirit
than that which
Plato
has touched upon.
The Ancients seem to have drawn such a State of Torments in the
Description of
Tantalus
, who was punished with the Rage of an
eternal Thirst, and set up to the Chin in Water that fled from his Lips
whenever he attempted to drink it.
Virgil
, who has cast the whole System of
Platonick
Philosophy, so far as it relates to the Soul of Man, in beautiful
Allegories, in the sixth Book of his
Æneid
gives us the
Punishment of a Voluptuary after Death, not unlike that which we are
here speaking of.
... Lucent genialibus altis
Aurea fulcra toris, epulæque ante ora paratæ
Regifico luxu: Furiarum maxima juxta
Accubat, et manibus prohibet contingere mensas;
Exurgitque facem attollens, atque intonat ore.
They lie below on Golden Beds display'd,
And genial Feasts with regal Pomp are made:
The Queen of Furies by their Side is set,
And snatches from their Mouths th' untasted Meat;
Which if they touch, her hissing Snakes she rears,
Tossing her Torch, and thund'ring in their Ears.
Dryd.
I may a little alleviate the Severity of this my Speculation (which
otherwise may lose me several of my polite Readers) I shall translate a
Story
that
has been quoted upon another Occasion by one of the
most learned Men of the present Age, as I find it in the Original.
Reader will see it is not foreign to my present Subject, and I dare say
will think it a lively Representation of a Person lying under the
Torments of such a kind of Tantalism, or
Platonick
Hell, as that
which we have now under Consideration. Monsieur
Pontignan
speaking of a Love-Adventure that happened to him in the Country, gives
the following Account of it
.
'When I was in the Country last Summer, I was often in Company with a
Couple of charming Women, who had all the Wit and Beauty one could
desire in Female Companions, with a Dash of Coquetry, that from time
to time gave me a great many agreeable Torments. I was, after my Way,
in Love with both of them, and had such frequent opportunities of
pleading my Passion to them when they were asunder, that I had Reason
to hope for particular Favours from each of them. As I was walking one
Evening in my Chamber with nothing about me but my Night gown, they
both came into my Room and told me, They had a very pleasant Trick to
put upon a Gentleman that was in the same House, provided I would bear
a Part in it. Upon this they told me such a plausible Story, that I
laughed at their Contrivance, and agreed to do whatever they should
require of me: They immediately began to swaddle me up in my
Night-Gown with long Pieces of Linnen, which they folded about me till
they had wrapt me in above an hundred Yards of Swathe: My Arms were
pressed to my Sides, and my Legs closed together by so many Wrappers
one over another, that I looked like an
Ægyptian Mummy. As I
stood bolt upright upon one End in this antique Figure, one of the
Ladies burst out a laughing, And now,
Pontignan, says she, we
intend to perform the Promise that we find you have extorted from each
of us. You have often asked the Favour of us, and I dare say you are a
better bred Cavalier than to refuse to go to Bed to two Ladies, that
desire it of you. After having stood a Fit of Laughter, I begged them
to uncase me, and do with me what they pleased. No, no, said they, we
like you very well as you are; and upon that ordered me to be carried
to one of their Houses, and put to Bed in all my Swaddles.
The Room
was lighted up on all Sides: and I was laid very decently between a
pair4 of Sheets, with my Head (which was indeed the only Part I
could move) upon a very high Pillow: This was no sooner done, but my
two Female Friends came into Bed to me in their finest Night-Clothes.
You may easily guess at the Condition of a Man that saw a Couple of
the most beautiful Women in the World undrest and abed with him,
without being able to stir Hand or Foot. I begged them to release me,
and struggled all I could to get loose, which I did with so much
Violence, that about Midnight they both leaped out of the Bed, crying
out they were undone. But seeing me safe, they took their Posts again,
and renewed their Raillery. Finding all my Prayers and Endeavours were
lost, I composed my self as well as I could, and told them, that if
they would not unbind me, I would fall asleep between them, and by
that means disgrace them for ever: But alas! this was impossible;
could I have been disposed to it, they would have prevented me by
several little ill-natured Caresses and Endearments which they
bestowed upon me. As much devoted as I am to Womankind, I would not
pass such another Night to be Master of the whole Sex. My Reader will
doubtless be curious to know what became of me the next Morning: Why
truly my Bed-fellows left me about an Hour before Day, and told me, if
I would be good and lie still, they would send somebody to take me up
as soon as it was time for me to rise: Accordingly about Nine a Clock
in the Morning an old Woman came to un-swathe me. I bore all this very
patiently, being resolved to take my Revenge of my Tormentors, and to
keep no Measures with them as soon as I was at Liberty; but upon
asking my old Woman what was become of the two Ladies, she told me she
believed they were by that Time within Sight of
Paris, for that they
went away in a Coach and six before five a clock in the Morning.
L.
Plato's doctrine of the soul and of its destiny is to be
found at the close of his
Republic
; also near the close of the
Phædon
, in a passage of the
Philebus
, and in another of the
Gorgias
. In § 131 of the
Phædon
is the passage here especially
referred to; which was the basis also of lines 461-475 of Milton's
Comus
. The last of our own Platonists was Henry More, one of whose
books Addison quoted four essays back (in
), and who died only
four and twenty years before these essays were written, after a long
contest in prose and verse, against besotting or obnubilating the soul
with 'the foul steam of earthly life.'
which
Paraphrased from the
Academe Galante
(Ed. 1708, p. 160).
couple
Contents
|
Thursday, June 14, 1711 |
Steele |
In furias ignemque ruunt, Amor omnibus Idem.
Virg.
translation
Tho' the Subject I am now going upon would be much more properly the
Foundation of a Comedy, I cannot forbear inserting the Circumstances
which pleased me in the Account a young Lady gave me of the Loves of a
Family in Town, which shall be nameless; or rather for the better Sound
and Elevation of the History, instead of Mr. and Mrs. such-a-one, I
shall call them by feigned Names. Without further Preface, you are to
know, that within the Liberties of the City of
Westminster
lives the
Lady
Honoria
, a Widow about the Age of Forty, of a healthy
Constitution, gay Temper, and elegant Person. She dresses a little too
much like a Girl, affects a childish Fondness in the Tone of her Voice,
sometimes a pretty Sullenness in the leaning of her Head, and now and
then a Down-cast of her Eyes on her Fan: Neither her Imagination nor her
Health would ever give her to know that she is turned of Twenty; but
that in the midst of these pretty Softnesses, and Airs of Delicacy and
Attraction, she has a tall Daughter within a Fortnight of Fifteen, who
impertinently comes into the Room, and towers so much towards Woman,
that her Mother is always checked by her Presence, and every Charm of
Honoria
droops at the Entrance of
Flavia
. The agreeable
Flavia
would be what she is not, as well as her Mother
Honoria
; but all their
Beholders are more partial to an Affectation of what a Person is growing
up to, than of what has been already enjoyed, and is gone for ever. It
is therefore allowed to
Flavia
to look forward, but not to
Honoria
to look back.
Flavia
is no way dependent on her Mother with relation
to her Fortune, for which Reason they live almost upon an Equality in
Conversation; and as
Honoria
has given
Flavia
to understand, that it
is ill-bred to be always calling Mother,
Flavia
is as well pleased
never to be called Child. It happens by this means, that these Ladies
are generally Rivals in all Places where they appear; and the Words
Mother and Daughter never pass between them but out of Spite.
Flavia
one Night at a Play observing
Honoria
draw the Eyes of several in the
Pit, called to a Lady who sat by her, and bid her ask her Mother to lend
her her Snuff-Box for one Moment. Another Time, when a Lover of
Honoria
was on his Knees beseeching the Favour to kiss her Hand,
Flavia
rushing into the Room, kneeled down by him and asked Blessing.
Several of these contradictory Acts of Duty have raised between them
such a Coldness that they generally converse when they are in mixed
Company by way of talking at one another, and not to one another.
Honoria
is ever complaining of a certain Sufficiency in the young
Women of this Age, who assume to themselves an Authority of carrying all
things before them, as if they were Possessors of the Esteem of Mankind,
and all, who were but a Year before them in the World, were neglected or
deceased.
Flavia
, upon such a Provocation, is sure to observe, that
there are People who can resign nothing, and know not how to give up
what they know they cannot hold; that there are those who will not allow
Youth their Follies, not because they are themselves past them, but
because they love to continue in them. These Beauties Rival each other
on all Occasions, not that they have always had the same Lovers but each
has kept up a Vanity to shew the other the Charms of her Lover.
Dick
Crastin
and
Tom Tulip
, among many others, have of late been
Pretenders in this Family:
Dick
to
Honoria
,
Tom
to
Flavia
.
Dick
is the only surviving Beau of the last Age, and
Tom
almost the
only one that keeps up that Order of Men in this.
I wish I could repeat the little Circumstances of a Conversation of the
four Lovers with the Spirit in which the young Lady, I had my Account
from, represented it at a Visit where I had the Honour to be present;
but it seems
Dick Crastin
, the admirer of
Honoria
, and
Tom Tulip
,
the Pretender to
Flavia
, were purposely admitted together by the
Ladies, that each might shew the other that her Lover had the
Superiority in the Accomplishments of that sort of Creature whom the
sillier Part of Women call a fine Gentleman. As this Age has a much more
gross Taste in Courtship, as well as in every thing else, than the last
had, these Gentlemen are Instances of it in their different Manner of
Application.
Tulip
is ever making Allusions to the Vigour of his
Person, the sinewy Force of his Make; while
Crastin
professes a wary
Observation of the Turns of his Mistress's Mind.
Tulip
gives himself
the Air of a restless Ravisher,
Crastin
practises that of a skilful
Lover. Poetry is the inseparable Property of every Man in Love; and as
Men of Wit write Verses on those Occasions, the rest of the World repeat
the Verses of others. These Servants of the Ladies were used to imitate
their Manner of Conversation, and allude to one another, rather than
interchange Discourse in what they said when they met.
Tulip
the other
Day seized his Mistress's Hand, and repeated out of
Ovid's Art of Love
,
'Tis I can in soft Battles pass the Night,
Yet rise next Morning vigorous for the Fight,
Fresh as the Day, and active as the Light.
Upon hearing this,
Crastin
, with an Air of Deference, played