Faustus, nor lord nor knight, nor wise nor old,
To every place about the town doth ride;
He rides into the fields[470] plays to behold,
He rides to take boat at the water-side,
He rides to Paul's, he rides to th' ordinary,
He rides unto the house of bawdry too,—
Thither his horse so often doth him carry,
That shortly he will quite forget to go.

FOOTNOTES:

[470] See the admirable account of "The Theatre and Curtain" in Mr. Halliwell-Phillipps' Outlines of the Life of Shakespeare, ed. 3, pp. 385-433. It is there shown that the access to the Theatre play-house was through Finsbury Fields to the west of the western boundary-wall of the grounds of the dissolved Holywell Priory.

IN KATAM.[471] VIII.

Kate, being pleas'd, wish'd that her pleasure could
Endure as long as a buff-jerkin would.
Content thee, Kate; although thy pleasure wasteth,
Thy pleasure's place like a buff-jerkin lasteth,
For no buff-jerkin hath been oftener worn,
Nor hath more scrapings or more dressings borne.

FOOTNOTES:

[471] Not in MS.

IN LIBRUM. IX.

Liber doth vaunt how chastely he hath liv'd
Since he hath been in town, seven years[472] and more,
For that he swears he hath four only swiv'd,
A maid, a wife, a widow, and a whore:
Then, Liber, thou hast swiv'd all womenkind,
For a fifth sort, I know, thou canst not find.

FOOTNOTES:

[472] MS. "knowen this towne 7 yeares."

IN MEDONTEM. X.

Great Captain Medon wears a chain of gold
Which at five hundred crowns is valuèd,
For that it was his grandsire's chain of old,
When great King Henry Boulogne conquerèd.
And wear it, Medon, for it may ensue,
That thou, by virtue of this massy chain,
A stronger town than Boulogne mayst subdue,
If wise men's saws be not reputed vain;
For what said Philip, king of Macedon?
"There is no castle so well fortified,10
But if an ass laden with gold comes on,
The guard will stoop, and gates fly open wide."

IN GELAM. XI.

Gella, if thou dost love thyself, take heed
Lest thou my rhymes unto thy lover read;
For straight thou grinn'st, and then thy lover seeth
Thy canker-eaten gums and rotten teeth.

IN QUINTUM.[473] XII.

Quintus his wit, infus'd into his brain,
Mislikes the place, and fled into his feet;
And there it wanders up and down the street,[474]
Dabbled in the dirt, and soakèd in the rain.
Doubtless his wit intends not to aspire,
Which leaves his head, to travel in the mire.

FOOTNOTES:

[473] Not in MS.

[474] Old eds. "streets."

IN SEVERUM. XIII.

The puritan Severus oft doth read
This text, that doth pronounce vain speech a sin,—
"That thing defiles a man, that doth proceed
From out the mouth, not that which enters in."
Hence is it that we seldom hear him swear;
And therefore like a Pharisee, he vaunts:
But he devours more capons in a year
Than would suffice a hundred protestants.
And, sooth, those sectaries are gluttons all,
As well the thread-bare cobbler as the knight;10
For those poor slaves which have not wherewithal,
Feed on the rich, till they devour them quite;
And so, like Pharaoh's kine, they eat up clean
Those that be fat, yet still themselves be lean.

IN LEUCAM. XIV.[475]

Leuca in presence once a fart did let:
Some laugh'd a little; she forsook the place;
And, mad with shame, did eke her glove forget,
Which she return'd to fetch with bashful grace;
And when she would have said "this is[476] my glove,"
"My fart," quod she; which did more laughter move.

FOOTNOTES:

[475] Not in MS.

[476] So Isham copy.—Other eds. omit the words "this is."

IN MACRUM. XV.

Thou canst not speak yet, Macer; for to speak,
Is to distinguish sounds significant:
Thou with harsh noise the air dost rudely break;
But what thou utter'st common sense doth want,—
Half-English words, with fustian terms among,
Much like the burden of a northern song.

IN FAUSTUM. XVI.

"That youth," said Faustus, "hath a lion seen,
Who from a dicing-house comes moneyless."
But when he lost his hair, where had he been?
I doubt me, he[477] had seen a lioness.

FOOTNOTES:

[477] So MS. and eds. B, C. Not in Isham copy or ed. A.

IN COSMUM. XVII.

Cosmus hath more discoursing in his head
Than Jove when Pallas issu'd from his brain;
And still he strives to be deliverèd
Of all his thoughts at once; but all in vain;
For, as we see at all the playhouse-doors,
When ended is the play, the dance, and song,
A thousand townsmen, gentlemen, and whores,
Porters, and serving-men, together throng,—
So thoughts of drinking, thriving, wenching, war,
And borrowing money, ranging in his mind,10
To issue all at once so forward are,
As none at all can perfect passage find.

IN FLACCUM. XVIII.

The false knave Flaccus once a bribe I gave;
The more fool I to bribe so false a knave:
But he gave back my bribe; the more fool he,
That for my folly did not cozen me.

IN CINEAM. XIX.

Thou, doggèd Cineas, hated like a dog,
For still thou grumblest like a masty[478] dog,
Compar'st thyself to nothing but a dog;
Thou say'st thou art as weary as a dog,
As angry, sick, and hungry as a dog,
As dull and melancholy as a dog,
As lazy, sleepy, idle[479] as a dog.
But why dost thou compare thee to a dog
In that for which all men despise a dog?
I will compare thee better to a dog;10
Thou art as fair and comely as a dog,
Thou art as true and honest as a dog,
Thou art as kind and liberal as a dog,
Thou art as wise and valiant as a dog.
But, Cineas, I have often[480] heard thee tell,
Thou art as like thy father as may be:
'Tis like enough; and, faith, I like it well;
But I am glad thou art not like to me.

FOOTNOTES:

[478] Mastiff.

[479] So Isham copy and MS.—Eds. A, B, C "and as idle."

[480] So MS.—Isham copy and ed. A "oft."

IN GERONTEM.[481] XX.

Geron, whose[482] mouldy memory corrects
Old Holinshed our famous chronicler
With moral rules, and policy collects
Out of all actions done these fourscore year;
Accounts the time of every odd[483] event,
Not from Christ's birth, nor from the prince's reign,
But from some other famous accident,
Which in men's general notice doth remain,—
The siege of Boulogne,[484] and the plaguy sweat,[485]
The going to Saint Quintin's[486] and New-Haven,[487]10
The rising[488] in the north, the frost so great,
That cart-wheel prints on Thamis' face were graven,[489]
The fall of money,[490] and burning of Paul's steeple,[491]
The blazing star,[492] and Spaniards' overthrow:[493]
By these events, notorious to the people,
He measures times, and things forepast doth show:
But most of all, he chiefly reckons by
A private chance,—the death of his curst[494] wife;
This is to him the dearest memory,
And th' happiest accident of all his life.20

FOOTNOTES:

[481] Not in MS.

[482] So Isham copy.—Omitted in ed. A.

[483] So Isham copy.—Eds. A, B, C "old."

[484] Boulogne was captured by Henry VIII. in 1544.

[485] The reference probably is to the visitation of 1551.

[486] In 1557 an English corps under the Earl of Pembroke took part in the war against France. "The English did not share in the glory of the battle, for they were not present; but they arrived two days after to take part in the storming of St. Quentin, and to share, to their shame, in the sack and spoiling of the town."—Froude, VI. 52.

[487] Havre.—The expedition was despatched in 1562.

[488] Led by the Earls of Northumberland and Westmoreland in 1569.

[489] The reference is to the frost of 1564.—"There was one great frost in England in our memory, and that was in the 7th year of Queen Elizabeth: which began upon the 21st of December and held in so extremely that, upon New Year's eve following, people in multitudes went upon the Thames from London Bridge to Westminster; some, as you tell me, sir, they do now—playing at football, others shooting at pricks."—"The Great Frost," 1608 (Arber's "English Garner," Vol. I.)

[490] "This yeare [1560] in the end of September the copper monies which had been coyned under King Henry the Eight and once before abased by King Edward the Sixth, were again brought to a lower valuacion."—Hayward's Annals of Queen Elizabeth, p. 73.

[491] On the 4th June 1561, the steeple of St. Paul's was struck by lightning.

[492] "On the 10th of October (some say on the 7th) appeared a blazing star in the north, bushing towards the east, which was nightly seen diminishing of his brightness until the 21st of the same month."—Stow's Annales, under the year 1580 (ed. 1615, p. 687).

[493] The defeat of the Spanish Armada in 1588.

[494] Vixenish.

IN MARCUM. XXI.

When Marcus comes from Mins',[495] he still doth swear,
By "come[496] on seven," that all is lost and gone:
But that's not true; for he hath lost his hair,
Only for that he came too much on[497] one.

FOOTNOTES:

[495] Dyce conjectures that this was the name of some person who kept an ordinary where gaming was practised. (MS. "for newes.")

[496] So eds. B, C.—Isham copy and ed. A "a seaven."

[497] So MS. with some eccentricities of spelling ("to much one one").—Old eds. "at."

IN CYPRIUM. XXII.

The fine youth Cyprius is more terse and neat
Than the new garden of the Old Temple is;
And still the newest fashion he doth get,
And with the time doth change from that to this;
He wears a hat now of the flat-crown block,[498]
The treble ruff,[499] long coat, and doublet French:
He takes tobacco, and doth wear a lock,[500]
And wastes more time in dressing than a wench.
Yet this new-fangled youth, made for these times,
Doth, above all, praise old George[501] Gascoigne's rhymes.[502]10

FOOTNOTES:

[498] Shape or fashion; properly the wooden mould on which the crown of a hat is shaped.

[499] So MS.—Old eds. "ruffes."

[500] Love-lock; a lock of hair hanging down the shoulder in the left side. It was usually plaited with ribands.

[501] So MS. and eds. B, C.—Not in Isham copy or ed. A.

[502] Gascoigne's "rhymes" have been edited in two thick volumes by Mr. Carew Hazlitt. He died on 7th October 1577. In Gabriel Harvey's Letter Book (recently edited by Mr. Edward Scott for the Camden Society) there are some elegies on him.

IN CINEAM. XXIII.

When Cineas comes amongst his friends in morning,
He slyly looks[503] who first his cap doth move:
Him he salutes, the rest so grimly scorning,
As if for ever they had lost his love.
I, knowing how it doth the humour fit
Of this fond gull to be saluted first,
Catch at my cap, but move it not a whit:
Which he perceiving,[504] seems for spite to burst.
But, Cineas, why expect you more of me
Than I of you? I am as good a man,10
And better too by many a quality,
For vault, and dance, and fence, and rhyme I can:
You keep a whore at your own charge, men tell me;
Indeed, friend Cineas, therein you excel me.[505]

FOOTNOTES:

[503] So Isham copy and ed. A.—Eds. B, C "spies."—MS. "notes."

[504] So the MS.—Isham copy and ed. A "Which perceiving he."—Eds. B, C "Which to perceiving he."

[505] The MS. adds—

"You keepe a whore att your [own] charge in towne;
Indeede, frend Ceneas, there you put me downe."

IN GALLUM. XXIV.

Gallus hath been this summer-time in Friesland,
And now, return'd, he speaks such warlike words,
As, if I could their English understand,
I fear me they would cut my throat like swords;
He talks of counter-scarfs,[506] and casamates,[507]
Of parapets, curtains, and palisadoes;[508]
Of flankers, ravelins, gabions he prates,
And of false-brays,[509] and sallies, and scaladoes.[510]
But, to requite such gulling terms as these,
With words to my profession I reply;10
I tell of fourching, vouchers, and counterpleas,
Of withernams, essoins, and champarty.
So, neither of us understanding either,
We part as wise as when we came together.

FOOTNOTES:

[506] Counter-scarps.

[507] Old eds. "Casomates."

[508] Old eds. "Of parapets, of curteneys, and pallizadois."—MS. "Of parapelets, curtens and passadoes."—Cunningham prints "Of curtains, parapets," &c.

[509] "A term in fortification, exactly from the French fausse-braie, which means, say the dictionaries, a counter-breast-work, or, in fact, a mound thrown up to mask some part of the works.

'And made those strange approaches by false-brays,
Reduits, half-moons, horn-works, and such close ways.'
B. Jons. Underwoods."—Nares.

[510] Dyce points out that this passage is imitated in Fitzgeoffrey's Notes from Black-Fryers, Sig. E. 7, ed. 1620.

IN DECIUM.[511] XXV.

Audacious painters have Nine Worthies made;
But poet Decius, more audacious far,
Making his mistress march with men of war,
With title of "Tenth Worthy" doth her lade.
Methinks that gull did use his terms as fit,
Which term'd his love "a giant for her wit."

FOOTNOTES:

[511] In this epigram, as Dyce showed, Davies is glancing at a sonnet of Drayton's "To the Celestiall Numbers" in Idea. Jonson told Drummond that "S. J. Davies played in ane Epigrame on Draton's, who in a sonnet concluded his mistress might been the Ninth [sic] Worthy; and said he used a phrase like Dametas in Arcadia, who said, For wit his Mistresse might be a Gyant."—Notes of Ben Jonson's Conversations with Drummond, p. 15. (ed. Shakesp. Soc.)

IN GELLAM. XXVI.

If Gella's beauty be examinèd,
She hath a dull dead eye, a saddle nose,
An ill-shap'd face, with morphew overspread,
And rotten teeth, which she in laughing shows;
Briefly, she is the filthiest wench in town,
Of all that do the art of whoring use:
But when she hath put on her satin gown,
Her cut[512] lawn apron, and her velvet shoes,
Her green silk stockings, and her petticoat
Of taffeta, with golden fringe around,10
And is withal perfum'd with civet hot,
Which doth her valiant stinking breath confound,—
Yet she with these additions is no more
Than a sweet, filthy, fine, ill-favour'd whore.

FOOTNOTES:

[512] So MS.—Old eds. "out."

IN SYLLAM. XXVII.

Sylla is often challeng'd to the field,
To answer, like a gentleman, his foes:
But then doth he this[513] only answer yield,
That he hath livings and fair lands to lose.
Sylla, if none but beggars valiant were,
The king of Spain would put us all in fear.

FOOTNOTES:

[513] So Isham copy.—Ed. A "when doth he his."

IN SYLLAM. XXVIII.

Who dares affirm that Sylla dare not fight?
When I dare swear he dares adventure more
Than the most brave and most[514] all-daring wight
That ever arms with resolution bore;
He that dare touch the most unwholesome whore
That ever was retir'd into the spittle,
And dares court wenches standing at a door
(The portion of his wit being passing little);
He that dares give his dearest friends offences,
Which other valiant fools do fear to do,10
And, when a fever doth confound his senses,
Dare eat raw beef, and drink strong wine thereto:
He that dares take tobacco on the stage,[515]
Dares man a whore at noon-day through the street,
Dares dance in Paul's, and in this formal age
Dares say and do whatever is unmeet;
Whom fear of shame could never yet affright,
Who dares affirm that Sylla dares not fight?

FOOTNOTES:

[514] So Isham copy.—Ed. A "most brave, most all daring."—Eds. B, C "most brave and all daring."—MS. "most valiant and all-daring."

[515] There are frequent allusions to this practice. Cf. Induction to Cynthia's Revels:—"I have my three sorts of tobacco in my pocket; my light by me."

IN HEYWODUM. XXIX.

Heywood,[516] that did in epigrams excel,
Is now put down since my light Muse arose;[517]
As buckets are put down into a well,
Or as a schoolboy putteth down his hose.

FOOTNOTES:

[516] John Heywood, the well-known epigrammatist and interlude-writer. His Proverbs were edited in 1874, with a pleasantly-written Introduction and useful notes, by Mr. Julian Sharman.

[517] Dyce refers to a passage of Sir John Harington's Metamorphosis of Ajax, 1596:—"This Haywood for his proverbs and epigrams is not yet put down by any of our country, though one [marginal note, M. Davies] doth indeed come near him, that graces him the more in saying he puts him down." He quotes also from Bastard's Chrestoleros, 1598 (Lib. ii. Ep. 15); Lib. iii. Ep. 3, and Freeman's Rubbe and a Great Cast ( Pt. ii., Ep. 100), allusions to the present epigram.

IN DACUM.[518] XXX.

Amongst the poets Dacus number'd is,
Yet could he never make an English rhyme:
But some prose speeches I have heard of his,
Which have been spoken many a hundred time;
The man that keeps the elephant hath one,
Wherein he tells the wonders of the beast;
Another Banks pronouncèd long agone,
When he his curtal's[519] qualities express'd:
He first taught him that keeps the monuments
At Westminster, his formal tale to say,10
And also him which puppets represents,
And also him which with the ape doth play.
Though all his poetry be like to this,
Amongst the poets Dacus number'd is.

FOOTNOTES:

[518] Samuel Daniel. See Ep. xlv.

[519] All the information about Banks' wonderful horse Moroccus ("the little horse that ambled on the top of Paul's") is collected in Mr. Halliwell-Phillips' Memoranda on Love's Labour Lost.

IN PRISCUM. XXXI.

When Priscus, rais'd from low to high estate,
Rode through the street in pompous jollity,
Caius, his poor familiar friend of late,
Bespake him thus, "Sir, now you know not me,"
"'Tis likely, friend," quoth Priscus, "to be so,
For at this time myself I do not know."

IN BRUNUM. XXXII.

Brunus, which deems[520] himself a fair sweet youth,
Is nine and thirty[521] year of age at least;
Yet was he never, to confess the truth,
But a dry starveling when he was at best.
This gull was sick to show his nightcap fine,
And his wrought pillow overspread with lawn;
But hath been well since his grief's cause hath line[522]
At Trollop's by Saint Clement's Church in pawn.

FOOTNOTES:

[520] So eds. B, C.—Isham copy and ed. A "thinks."

[521] Old eds. "thirtie nine." MS. "nine and thirtith."

[522] Lain.

IN FRANCUM. XXXIII.